You want to get your ex back but are you willing to sacrifice a broken friendship to prevent a broken heart? What is more important pleasing your peers, or winning back your ex? Many people using no contact to repair their relationship have to make a choice. They have to choose between what their peers think they should do, or to follow a proven plan. Sometimes that choice could lose them some friends. Are you willing to lose some friends to get your life back again?
Friend or Foe?
When a break up occurs there is usually mutual friends shared by both you, and your ex. They think they are doing you both a favor by getting involved. The fact is most of the time, they screw things up more than they help. Especially if you decide to follow a proven plan like the no contact rule. If you really want to be successful using the no contact rule you will need to keep your personal life to yourself so it doesn’t leak back to your ex.
How could it leak back to your ex? Through your mutual friends, and family. Why they do it is anyone’s guess. I think people just like to meddle, as long as it isn’t their business. Getting your ex back may require losing contact with some of your friends, and family. Your personal journey will be a lonely trip, but the rewards at the end (surviving a broken heart) far out weigh the sacrifices along the way.
You Can’t Have Your Cake And Eat It Too
If you ask any super successful person on the face of this planet how they achieved all their goals, they will tell you they made hard decisions, and many sacrifices. If you truly want to get your ex back you have to be willing to do the same, understand? Too many times people want to have their cake, and eat it too. Especially your ex when they demand to stay friends. I am going to say a phrase “Social Networks” social networks (FaceBook, MySpace) work against you during no contact, why? Rumors and innuendos.
This is where your ex, or your exes friends post things for you to see to rattle your cage, and make you break NC. Especially an ex boyfriend or girlfriend that is trying to win them back during your break up. OK, so now you see what you’re up against. It is time to make a choice. Your friends, or get your ex back?
This won’t be a permanent thing, and it will show you who your “true” friends really are. If they get upset, and turn their backs on you in your time of need, then so be it. You can’t be socially active, and get your ex back at the same time. What I mean is you can’t be active on FaceBook etc. You have to kind of drop off the face of the electronic earth. You can’t have your cake and eat it too…time to make a choice.
Free Step by Step Plan
If you are in a break up situation you have to learn how to think with your head, and not with your heart. If you want my help getting your ex back, join my free newsletter for free videos, advice, support forum, and a free step by step plan to get your life/ex back fast. On my Blog you will find the answers and the support you seek, along with a free step by step plan. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.
Until next time,
S. Williams
~I know that “love hurts” but with my help you will get strong enough to kick love’s ass~
http://www.howtogetyourexbackfast.com
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Makes a lot of sense. I’ve listened to you to delete my ex and block them off to see what I have been doing but her friends are still on my list because I know them too. However, I know if their friends talk to me, they’ll just say everything back to her so as of right now, I am not going to go on facebook for a while.
Ben wrote:
Hi Ben,
Wise choice.
I watch people struggle with this problem everyday in our forum.
You have to make a choice because…
You can’t have your cake, and eat it too, right?
Thanks for your comment.
Take Care,
S.W.
I agree falling off the face of the electronic world is the right approach but in my case my ex lives in a different country(18 hour flight from me) so does it apply to me aswell?
Debola wrote:
Hi Debola,
Why would that make a difference?
Looking at his FaceBook account, and him being able to see your FB account creates the same problem whether you live down the street, or on the next continent, right?
So to answer your question, yes…it does apply to you. ;)
Take Care,
S.W.
This make a lot of sense to me. My ex and I have a mutual friend whom I asked not to say things or any update about me. I’m glad she’d agreed on it but the last incident she’d opened to him my situation when I had hyperventilation attack..well, that maybe concerned him coz he tried to contact me at the period of NC. I think I made a mistake about it, but she’d apologized when I told her not to talk about me ever to him. She’d made a lot of questions why I won’t allow it, but I just told her its a decision. She do not need to know my plan coz I know she’ll ever disagree with me. With regards to facebook mutual friends, I hope they don’t mention about me when they happen to communicate with him.
chrei wrote:
Hi Chrei,
That is exactly why I suggested that you just drop out of the FaceBook world until you are finished following your plan.
This will greatly enhance your personal evolution, and increase your chances for success.
Thanks for your comment.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi,
I found this topic to be somewhat timely. In my country and at least where I study, practically everyone is on facebook and active with it.
My ex and I have a whole lot of mutual friends, some of whom I have blocked from seeing my updates and such, those who he is in particular contact with usually (the group he’s migrated to) and removed two of them so far. They are always with him, but I have asked them not to mention about me to him. I don’t know how much they can be trusted tho since they are more like HIS friends now. I am also now less on facebook and he is also not on my fb. I have limited the viewing of my photos to just friends too, and customized viewing from those friends of his he’s always with.
The thing is I have quite a lot of friends who are photographers and they tend to take a lot of pictures for events and such or of me and put them up. I don’t mind if they put up the pictures as I am having fun and being happy. Why should I stop my life and my sociality with my friends or new friends for him? Would it not bother him to see me more happy? Does it matter if he can see comments i put on mutual friends’ statuses?
joanne wrote:
Hi Joanne,
This is more so you will not be tempted to spy on his FB account.
The more you hide your personal life from your ex…the more curious they will become, making no contact much more effective.
Like I said…would you rather take a break from FaceBook to speed up getting your ex back, or worry about what your friends are doing?
I guess the answer depends on how “bad” you want your ex back, huh?
Thanks for your comment.
S.W.
Okay, say I do not post updates or comment on fb anymore. What if friends post up photos of me and tag me? As in people who don’t really know about my relationship with my ex?
joanne wrote:
You can keep a low profile, that’s about it.
But if you’re not posting it will cut way down on what your ex can gather about your situation.
You can’t control your friends…but you can control yourself.
It’s only common sense, right?
Ok so we have been broken up for seven months now and within 3 weeks he was back with his ex so now I am going to abide by the no contact rule at all and have disactivated my facebook account. The only problem is we have an 18 month old together and his brother lives in my community. I don’t speak to any of them right now so I think I’ll be ok.
Katherine wrote:
Hi Katherine,
That was a wise choice to close facebook, it will only distract you from your goal.
Now go and start following the free plan on my Blog.
Once you start your personal evolution things will get better everyday.
Take Action Today!
S.W.
hi, my ex broke up with me about 2 months ago we have not had contact for about 3 weeks ago. i was very very close to her 7 year old son. when we were ending our last conversation 3 weeks ago i ask to see you she kinda said she will think about it. i said to her can you please tell your son i said hi and she said that i cannot do absolutely not, i guess she wanted him to get over me, well just the other day i got a phone call from him and he said come to my soccer game then he said you want to talk to my mom , i said ok , she said in the back round i’ll talk to him later, its been 5 days i didnt go to soccer game because she never called. he is 7 i believe she had him call me to open communication, she thought i would of called but i held strong and didnt. im feeling bad about this and its so hard . what do you think is going on here. please please someone help me with this please i hurt so bad
tom wrote:
Hi Tom,
I think she is confused about what she wants.
You need to get to the bottom of this, and reveal her true feelings for you.
How can you do that?
By following the free plan on my Blog.
The link is at the top of my Blog.
The sooner you take action, the sooner you will feel better…I promise.
Take Care,
S.W.
I feel great about following this plan!! My ex and I broke up about a month ago. It ended on a good note, but still hurt just the same. I was doing the whole texting/calling & crying crazy stuff, but luckily my ex is an understanding guy. I stopped very quickly in doing that, which is extremely surprising for me because I am queen of anxiety and letting my emotions take the drivers seat. I feel confident in the choices I’ve made in handling this situation. Thank you so much for your advice! I’ve been using no contact and really focusing on bettering myself, and improving the things that I realized could have been causing the relationship to slowly dwindle (on my part, anyway). My ex actually contacted me three weeks after I had last spoke to him. He has been hanging out with an older woman. She was using facebook to try and make me jealous. Trying to get ANY pictures of the two of them together to post for the world to see. I decided to delete my facebook entirely, not only because (like you said), friends post things, and it was setting me back anytime I saw something. I also don’t need her seeing pictures of me, or giving him the freedom to check up on me and see what I’ve been doing. OR for his FRIENDS to see what I’ve been doing. I completely fell off the radar, and told my friends who DO have facebook to please keep anything having to do with my ex to themselves because it only distracts me from what I need to be working on. Without facebook I feel great! I can just focus on ME and do what I need to do, and that’s what’s most important. Thanks again!
oops didn’t want my full name up there!! first time posting, sorry lol
elisha wrote:
Great Job Elisha!
Stay Strong!
S.W.
elisha wrote:
I took care of that for you.
@ S. Williams:
I was hoping you would, thank you Haha