Why Your Ex Will Not Leave You – 2 No Contact Rule Myths Shredded

 
Shredding NC Myths
 


 

Everyone thinks that their ex will leave them if they use the no contact rule.

But, guess what?

Let me explain why your ex will not leave you.

They are already gone, that’s why they are your ex boyfriend/girlfriend…Right?

The big mystery here is why, do they want to keep in touch with you, but not be in a relationship with you, right?

Well, let’s solve that mystery and shred these myths. The no contact rule works and here’s why.
 


 

You Can Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

The No Contact Rule Myth 1 Shredded

 

This is the mother of all the no contact rule myths.

If I use the no contact rule on my ex, they will get mad at me.

OK, let’s take a look at that statement for a second.

They already left you, did that make you mad?

I bet it did, but, yet, here you are, wanting them back, anyways…

Why is that?

Because you still love them.

If the same holds true with your ex, then, even if they get mad at you, they will not fall out of love with you, right?

Unless they have already fallen out of love with you.

In that case, you will be better off leaving them alone, anyways.

If you use the NC rule correctly, you will be polite, and that should not make anyone mad, maybe a little jealous though…catch my drift?

Your ex will not leave you if you use the no contact rule.

So, let’s kick this NC myth’s ass out of here, and move on…shall we?
 


 

You Can Win Your Ex Girlfriend Back

The No Contact Rule Myth 2 Shredded

 
This one’s just as bad.

If I use the 30 day no contact rule my ex will find someone else.

Not true, your ex, left you, remember?

Do you think by staying in contact with them, that you are magically going to get your ex back?

This is a bigger Myth than the last one, and, here’s why.

Why would they want to be committed to you, when they already have you following them around, like a little puppy dog?

Use The No Contact Rule to Break The Leash Your Ex Has You On

You’re always there when they need you, now.

Why get back into a relationship again?

They can have their cake, and eat it too.

You’re screwing yourself over with this plan, you think it’s going to work

But.

You’re just…screwing yourself.

Let’s kick this one’s ass off into the gutter and move on.

Your ex is not going to find someone else, just because, you start using the 30 day no contact rule.

What will happen if you do not use NC, is they will probably find someone else, and “still” want to be your friend…sound familiar?

This will only place you in relationship limbo.

A mini-hell for people going through breakups.

The funny thing is, they put themselves in that hell, by choice.

Don’t do it.

If you really want to win your ex back, then, you must find a good plan and follow it.
 


 

The No Contact Rule Works to Get Your Ex Back

 
Whatever you’re doing now, isn’t working, or you wouldn’t be reading this article, right?

So, why keep doing things that are not working?

I think you are really hurting yourself if you dismiss the no contact rule.

This plan works, but it requires a lot of focus and emotional control.

Most people can not do this all by themselves.

That is why it is wise to find someone who will help you take on this battle.

If you are emotionally unbalanced, you need someone or something to keep you in balance…Right?

I mean, do you really think by randomly getting advice from friends, family, and co-workers, that you’re going to succeed?

You need a plan, a plan that works.

If you want to survive this breakup, you’ll need help.

Just subscribe to the free breakup survival plan newsletter, and start learning how to “correctly” use the no contact rule.

Do It Today!

Learn from your mistakes before you make them, and win your ex back.

What can I do to help you get your ex back?

If you have questions about the no contact rule, please feel free to write your question in the comment box below, and I will answer it ASAP…I promise!
 


 

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

 
My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008 to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back.

I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read.

I know the address of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I “really” teach people how to get their lives back, not just their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free breakup survival plan, and start getting your life back today.

The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.

Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise.

If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.

If this article was useful or helpful to you in any way, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.

446 Comments

Add a Comment
  1. Hi S. Williams,

    I already send u an email on April 4, 2009. Now the situation is like this, I send her a message thru facebook (around the time i send u the last message) to see a movie together the next week but she didnt replied and after that day i send u the message I when to the hospital because i had a small accident during my jogging work out but nothing serious happened. Got everything checked and came back home the same day. So when i was in the hospital I send her a message saying that i was in the hospital, in hopes to see if see will come to see me and some part of me wanted to test if she still cared, but all she did was texted to me and asked simple questions like really, why and which hospital? and only after the 4 or 5 message she called the first time (after 2 hours she got the news), I was really sad and upset and really wanted to cried because i really dont meant for her to care as a gf but for a serious relationship for more than 4 years I would expect more than this (at a point i was very angry that i made so much sacriface for her and done so much for her family but she can still treat me like this, luckily i didnt let it get to me), I answered the phone in a sad voice trying not to cry and she asked how i was and says every will be fine and asked if i wanted her to visit me tomorrow, I answered not really and ended the call without much conversation. When I got home it was about midnight, I finally texted her if she will visit me the next day and went to sleep, she replied the next day with a phone call in the afternoon, asking how i was and i should take care of myself and ended the chat.
    Maybe I am not patience enough, but am i expecting to much in too little time?? I have already tried not to be a needy guy thru out all this time, but this incident I think it really made me look wimpy, but hey i was really in the hospital and not faking it…
    After that we havent commicate in any sort of way, should i wait for her to call or should i call her first?? Is it ok for me to send out a sorry letter and also a thank you for all the things she did and i took for granted and sorry for the way our relationship ended up and hurting her feelings, sort of like the one T Dud said in the clean state method? Or should i start no contact again??

    regards
    Andy

  2. Hi,

    Do not send an apology letter that will make you look even more pitiful…understand?

    Get your emotions under control before you make things worst than they already are.

    I would just start no contact over again and learn from your mistakes.

    If you did not want her feeling sorry for you, then you should not have contacted her looking for sympathy after your accident.

    Go watch the videos I have in the Break Up Help Videos section of my Blog, read the comments other people have posted on my Blog, chances are you will see your similar situation, and an answer to it.

    Spend more time learning, and less time chasing after her.

    If you have the book, read it again.

    If you don’t have it, I highly suggest you get it, I don’t care if you get it from me or not…just get it, and read it…soon.

    Go read the free plan to get your ex back here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  3. Hi Jimmy,

    It sounds like you really need to use the no contact rule, because you’re running out of chances with your ex.

    I would not write her on her son’s birthday, that will only look like you’re trying to kiss up to her using her son.

    That makes you look pretty desperate, just like the old guy she knew, the one she doesn’t want to see anymore.

    If you follow a good plan, you”ll find there are many “better” options to reconnect later, after you have gone through all the stages of change required to prepare yourself…understand?

    Don’t let panic rule your mind, calm down and focus.

    How Do I Get My Ex Girlfriend Back?

    You can read a lot about no contact right here on my Blog, and you can also get more advice weekly by joining my newsletter.

    One more thing, there will be a time and a place to mention the past, but “actions” speak louder than “words”, so take some action first, and start making the changes needed to attract her back to you.

    I hope this helped.

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  4. I feel like i need to mention the past due to the fact that she may never have read some of the IMs she may have blocked. Thank you for your time.

  5. Scott,

    My girlfriend broke up with me 6 days ago. Its a long distance relationship so its IMs and phone.I know what caused the break up and i know what i need to work on the prevent it from happening again. We have had a rough month or so and a couple times we have went several days without contact. After these breaks she is the one who texts me telling me she loves and or misses me. This time she was very polite telling me she wishes me the best, that she loves me, and she knows we cannot be together.
    Well, i got trashed and said some terribe things, then turned around and told her how much i love her. It was horrible,lol. Its was so bad that i think she may have blocked me on her IM. So, Im going with the 30 day rule. We have never went longer then 3 days in a year. Her son has a bithday in 35 days and im considering writing her on his birthday, wishing him a happy birthday and acknowledging where i went wrong, a little about my job, I hope you both a doing well. I think about you often. My concern here is she needs to know this wont happen again or she may never bother to contact me.

  6. Hi Amanda,

    Have you thought about moving out?

    If this living situation is hurting you, you might want to find another place to live.

    It will be a lot easier to use no contact then.

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  7. i also forgot to add that the last time we talked about our relationship was a little over a week ago where he said he still wants to be friends and who knows maybe one day we can try it again but for now we both have a lot of growing up to do…what does he mean by that? im so confused!

  8. Im trying this no contact rule but we live together so its heard…iv tryed going out as much as i can with friends and family to stay out of the house but its like he could care less one day he will be so talkative and jock around with me and the next its like i dont exsist, why does he act like this with me? am i doing something wrong when it comes to the no contact rule? please help i just want to win him back and be happy again.

  9. Hi Djinho,

    You are going through what everyone goes through, the doubt and fear period.

    You feel it would be easier to just give up, then it would be to change and fight to get your ex back.

    I would tell you to stick to the plan for at least 30 days before coming to that conclusion…OK?

    As far as the Youtube ban in China, just another perk of living in a communist country I guess.

    I could try downloading those videos and making them available for download from my Blog, if I knew who Jason Haner was.

    I would suggest that you look over the self help tools I recommend on my Blog, and get your emotional control in hand.

    This will help you to focus on using the free plan to get your ex back, and keep your spirits up.

    Stay Strong!

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  10. Today I am inclined to think this is a situation where the only sensible thing to do is get my head around moving on, permanently.

  11. Scott,
    Sudden update to the most recent:
    Just by pure chance ran into my ex with her German date early in the evening in half-empty nightclub I play in here in Shanghai a block from my home and my ex’s. Literally walked in the door and just saw them before focusing on anything else, right at first table 4 yards in front of my nose. She panicked with her eyes, but I just went on in and struck up conversations with various staff, musicians and people I know, on the other side of the room. Then I ordered a beer, talked to the boss-lady, another friend, etc., giving no reason whatsoever for the guy to suspect anything at all, unless my ex tipped him off to the presence of her ex. They picked up and left 10 minutes later.
    Rather proud of myself for some high-end emotional control. Definitely a small life victory, I think.
    The guy may be 5 years younger than me, but looks 10 years older, BTW. Hope he’s fascinating, rich, or a genius… otherwise she’s hard up going out with someone scruffy who looks like he could be her grandfather.
    I was well dressed, looking good, and instead of any contact, struck up a conversation with a beautiful lady friend from Thailand alone at a table there. I only glanced once or twice from other side of the club to get a quick take on Mr. New from afar. Didn’t approach them at all, no greeting, nothing. Perfect gentleman-ex. Just the eye contact with my ex as I walked in the door.
    So what’s next, Scott? What the hell do you think she is chewing on now?
    Was I expected to make some kind of a scene, to be a “real man”, in her mind?
    No patience for Mexican macho movies, sorry. I think I couldn’t have handled it better.
    Djinho

  12. Hi Scott,
    I am unable to connect to the video links Jason Haner has sent me, because unfortunately Youtube is currently blocked here in China. Till when is anyone’s guess.
    I really regret having messed up on purchasing the book through you, and as a result not gotten on your personal mailing list. It would be great, especially because of the unavailable videos, if there were some way to turn that around so as to get just a bit more greatly appreciated support.
    I have been in full NC for about ten days since the final “friendly” pre-NC conversation with my ex, when I was informed by her that she was going to begin dating a German 5 years younger than me who she met at some social event. She altogether ceased her earlier pattern of kind of keeping in touch (me too, which no doubt has her wondering), and from the general timing I believe that by now things are quite possibly in full swing with Mr. New– although I have no real knowledge except for her unveiled interest in dating the guy. Nearly 4 months down the chute, I don’t know if this qualifies as a “rebound” relationship or something different. There is a 15-year age difference between us which was never a real problem, but it might have a bearing on where things are headed now. I don’t really know.
    Following that encounter with my ex that also marked the beginning of NC (I came across your site that evening) I decided to move my desk-space away from the window so that I won’t see her passing by daily, and also made it so that nobody can see me either, or really even know whether I’m home or not. The curtains and current repositioned home-office reveal no signs of life from my apartment, day or night. It feels better that way.
    I mention this because, like it or not, as it happens during this entire period I have been (and continue to be) seriously desk-bound and under the gun, slugging away on a PhD (one of her main unsupportive gripes leading to the breakup). So, for me going out a lot and turning into Mr. Social, with new wardrobe, friends, dates etc. these days is just not an option, even if that is the reccommended course of action for getting Emotionally Controlled and OK. I do get dressed up and out for performing (and earning a living) 3 or 4 nights a week, though, which might be just as good or better. Got some hip new glasses ordered, the occasional friendly date, or dinner with a buddy. etc. No innovative haircut, I’m afraid, since there aren’t many options when you haven’t got much hair to begin with. I’ve been thinking it might be time to get a chinese tatoo on my arm.

    Coming up before too long is the 26th of April, which in the past was always a double-birthday occasion (both my ex and my son in Europe). No doubt this year my ex will celebrate this with Mr. New, if in fact they are an item. I don’t plan to ask her about it.
    However, does it make sense to target her birthday in order to kill two birds with one stone: 1) interrupting NC after a month with the plan’s phone call to try to meet up for a half-hour coffee chat, and at the same time 2) to also wish her a happy birthday?
    Or is it better to just pay no special attention at all to her birthday, just let it pass unremarked, and instead make the phone call after (or before) this date? It seems like navigating this poorly could be a sensitive point and even a potential source of conflict, the old “damned if you do, damned if you don’t.”
    I am following your method pretty well, Scott, and so far the NC has been really helpful, and is not driving me stark raving mad. Not an option, really, because I keep pretty busy. And although I don’t want to jump the gun on anything or think too far ahead, on the subject of the birthday I would appreciate some objectivity and wisdom on how to most intelligently deal with it… or, intelligently NOT deal with it.
    My ex was always a great pal of my son, too, so their shared April birthday always had a bit more weight than would normally be the case. And anyway, as you know, most women usually attach (or detach) great significance to these occasions… as the case may be. I even know one woman here who promptly dumped her partner recently, because on Valentine’s Day he failed to show sufficient consideration.
    It’s not like I’m fretting about getting dumped… I already have been. I just want to avoid unwittingly racking up more negatives that could conceivably– and unfairly– affect a rebooted relationship down the line, should that be in the cards.
    Maybe you’ll tell me that I should simply not concern myself with it at all. This is the doubt I have.
    Thanks again for your help, Scott, and I hope to hear some feedback as soon as you can manage it. Let me know if I need to post this text on the blog to get a reply. Hope my ex isn’t reading it there.
    Djinho

  13. Hi Andy,

    30 days no contact is not written in stone, it can be shorter or longer, it really depends on you and your ex.

    If your ex starts to miss you sooner, and you get your emotions under control faster, it can work after a couple weeks.

    It sounds like things are going along nicely.

    I would just keep following the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and try not to rush things…OK?

    If you you push too hard for a reconciliation, you will end up pushing her away.

    I would ease off on all the gifts…you can not buy her affection.

    Plus how do you know it’s you she wants, and not all your gifts?

    Take it a bit slower…OK?

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  14. Hi S. Williams,

    My 4 & 1/2 years together girl friend broke up with me 4 weeks ago on 14mar09 (were very happy together, broke up because a small arguement which lead to bringing up pass conflicts), I begged and called and texted for 3 days, without rely and make her more angery ,then i read the magic of making up, thus i send her a text accepting the break up and started the no contact period changed my look with new clothes and lost a lot of weight, then she text me to meet up for lunch on the 27mar09 because it was my birthday and also bought one dish made by her mother for me(which i liked). We were not as close as we were but we chatted abit and she did not reject some of my touching. I can feel she purposely swing her arm quite strangly when we were walking side by side, like trying not to hold or let me hold her hands.
    On the 29mar09 I send thur facebook about info of new phone which i knew she would like, and she was very interested and agreed to arrange to see the phone together. We have a quite happy chatting on the phone and she mentioned on the 31mar09 there was a special offer last day at a fashion store and i acted very interest thus she told me that she would have a look with me after working. During looking at the fashsion store I was interested in bags and tried on some,but she still likes to adjust the way I carry my bags like when we were together. Also I bought her acne cream and some green tea that day(i mentioned i ask a lot of girls for acne cream advice then she made a little mad face, like she used to when we were dating) because last time she mentioned she had a lot of pimples just after the breakup, after we a parted she send me a message thanking me for the acne cream and green tea and she really love them.

    Could you pls tell me if she is having second thoughs about the breakup and is my no contact period being too short or is it just she realized that the reason we broke up is not as serious as she thought??
    During these few days I bought one little gift for her and made excuces to meet her and she doesnt seem to reject, and we plan to see cats together in may or june 2009 because it comes to hk, what should my plan be?? Is she give me a new chance to court her again?? And am I being to clingy??

    regards
    Andy

  15. Hi Djinho,

    Yeah, it gets crazy sometimes, and then my Blog died last week, and I have been spending this past week building this one from scratch.

    You are thinking too far ahead, that”s like trying to predict the future, instead of trying to predict the future, make plans for “your” future.

    The sooner you get a handle on your own emotions, the faster things will get better…make sense?

    30 days is only a benchmark (a starting point) it is not an exact science, it may take longer, it all depends on how far you have come with your emotional control.

    Start a journal, and keep records of your daily thoughts, this helps people to stay on course.

    You must convince yourself that you can live without her, and then you”ll be ready to reconnect.

    If you want to start a new relationship, you have to break away from the old one completely first.

    You need to re-examine your old relationship to find out what went wrong, and how to make it right next time around.

    This should be your main focus for the next 30 days or so, do not try to predict the future.

    Focus on emotional control, take a look at my section called win back your ex with emotional control, for some help.

    Just stay strong, and remain positive.

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  16. Hello Scott,
    You must be really busy with emails. Wow.
    I read the book and there is a lot of useful info with plan. I hope I can follow it through this craziness.
    I would like to be on your personal email list if possible. I am new to this and not sure by which means to send questions. I have some questions of a more private nature, and maybe don’t want to broadcast on the blog, for example.

    Wish I had known about you around Christmas time, when my ex was in the early stages of breakup. I traveled a lot in Jan and Feb (musician) and she got used to the new situation she created in early December, which was initially impulsive move-out to ugly apartment a block down the street, which I didn’t try to stop at all, since she was getting violent, breaking stuff, hitting me etc for not booking correctly flights to South America for vacation that never happened.I went to do my Sunday teaching job, came back and she was gone.
    Feeling an emotional roller-coaster and given many factors and details of the relationship, am inclined to think it’s a lost cause already. Things are suddenly moving fast for my ex in advancing “moving-on” mode… birthday weekend with brand-new her new rich German love interest. Hope I can control emotions/jealousy if I happen to see her on the street on the way to my Sunday work today. She (Brazilian) walks right through my corner apartment field of vision like clockwork every weekday coming from and going to subway to her kiddie teaching job. I brought her to Shanghai practically penniless with me 4 years ago from Lisbon, and she also bailed for a while in the middle of this period, I went to Lisbon 4 months, came back, got together again, she between jobs at the time. Gold-digger?
    I am 53, American/Portuguese dual national. She is 38 (one month from now), same birthday as my son in Portugal where we met teaching music at same school, me in throes of the worst kind of divorce.
    She met recently new German love interest (48, engineer) through Brazilian embassy social group is. Unlike me, doesn’t speak Portuguese, she says. She learned English over the past 4 years in Shanghai, doesn’t speak German.
    Don’t know if these details help for assessing this situation. I have to walk to Sunday teaching right now, may run into her on same street. 1-month No Contact starting today would put it right at her birthday (and my son in Lisbon) in late April. Is this a date to call her or not. We have had plenty of coffees since December breakup. Advice?
    Thanks,
    Djinho

  17. Hi Djinho,

    You’re Welcome!

    You are right, it is really late in the game to send a letter of apology.

    Whatever you do during no contact, don’t hint at anything…OK?

    Don’t let her know exactly what your plans are.

    This will create the “air of mystery” that will put you back on her mind.

    I would suggest instead of writing her letters, that you make a list of all the good and bad points of your relationship.

    What are you going to do to erase those bad points, so you can add more good points to that list?

    Start a journal like Monica did, this can be a very powerful tool as you work your way through no contact.

    Write down your thoughts daily, explore your feelings, and your old relationship.

    This will uncover many useful things for you to use when it comes time to reconnect.

    For instance; what went wrong, and how to over come this the next time around.

    You see the break up was a long time in coming.

    What makes you think you can resolve this over night?

    Become a detective of your past, and uncover the clues to winning her back.

    Don’t worry about anything else, focus all your energy into finding a way to make this work next time around.

    Think positive, use self help tools to help with emotional control, but do not sit there thinking you don’t have a chance to get your ex girlfriend back…because you do.

    Get started using the advice I just gave you, and if there is anyway you can get the book (I know you’re trying to) start from page one and read from cover to cover.

    Then start with chapter one and work your way slowly through each chapter, doing all the exercises in there, that along with your journal, self help tools, and a positive attitude will get your ex back faster than anything I know of.

    Good Luck!

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  18. Thanks for your reply Mr. Williams. Much appreciated.
    One question:
    After knocking out the 1-page letter today “in support of the breakup” (of 3 and 1/2 months ago), owning up to some pre-breakup lack of emotional support, and lightheartedly suggesting a coffee or lunch chat at “sometime in the future” (which wouldn’t be the first)– all of this a prelude to general NC from this point forward…. well, after reading your response, maybe it is not a very good idea to send it at this late date. What do you think?
    Thanks,
    Djinho

  19. Hi Djinho,

    Have you been using no contact at all?

    It sounds like you haven’t, and you’re still sending her emails.

    I would go into full no contact, and see how she reacts.

    I know she is your neighbor, but you can still say hi, but don’t get caught up in any conversations, or give away too much of what you’re doing, or what’s going on in your life…OK?

    Just tell her you have been busy, and just need some space to think about things.

    Use this time to re-examine what went wrong with your relationship, and how to make it right, also focus on emotional control (self help tools) that you may be able to find at your local library, or book store.

    Too many people want to get their ex back right away before they find someone else…but what would’ve changed?

    Nothing…that’s why you break up again…understand? If this happens too many times you may stay broken up for good…too risky.

    Then after 30 days, when your emotional control is strong (so you don’t beg or plead if she says no) ask her out for a casual date.

    If she says no, wait another 2 weeks (still using NC), and ask again.

    I believe she will accept eventually because she will want to know what’s going on in your life.

    This short (30 minute or less) coffee/lunch date will give you some indications of how she feels about you…just keep it light, friendly, not too much about yours or hers personal life, and do not bring up the past.

    Keep it about the present, work, family, hobbies, just enjoy each others company, after all you haven’t talked in a while…right?

    As far as this new guy, you can not stop her from dating.

    Focus on yourself, and your emotional state, and let no contact do it’s work.

    She may be expecting you to stop her from seeing this guy, but you won’t you will just keep to yourself, and she will wonder why.

    Is he moving on?

    Have I pushed him too far?

    See what happened here?

    Now she is the one who is worried, you have regained some power in this game.

    Right now it is you who is doing the chasing, and she knows it.

    What’s the hurry Djinho will wait for me…

    Or will he?

    This other guy may work out, or may not, and make you look even better.

    Here’s some simple math:

    You have 6 years with her

    He has what a month?

    I think you have a deeper place in her heart, and no contact will help prove that.

    Why did she only move a block away?

    I think the signs all point to a very good chance for reconciliation with your ex girlfriend.

    You have to be strong now, and let no contact do it’s work…make sense?

    I hope this helped.

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  20. Would like to know how to assess if my ex of almost 4 months has in fact moved on permanently. She has stopped initiating contact with me altogether, but has responded to my occasional emails over this period. She recently told me she has her eye on someone else, and I suspect that the guy, although I don’t know him, will become her lover very soon, if he isn’t already.
    Any advice. We broke up in December after a 6 year roller coaster that brought us to China. She left after breaking plates etc, and moved a block away. We are now expat “neighbors”.

  21. Hi Shay,

    I would be more afraid of being stuck where you are now, not that he will move on and forget you.

    Let’s get something straight…

    You can not stop him from finding someone else, and having sex with him with not make him fall back in love with you either.

    The only way you’re going to find out whether he is coming back or not, is by using no contact.

    As far as getting along during NC, I don’t think he is going to be happy about being cut off sexually, or not knowing what you’re doing either.

    NC is not about keeping your ex happy, it’s about you taking the time to get ready emotionally, for the next step…which is reconnecting after you break away from the old relationship using no contact.

    Too many people fear losing their ex using NC and remain trapped as “just friends” while their ex gets everything they want.

    Does that sound fair to you?

    If you want to be successful using no contact, I suggest you go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

    It’s time to get off “the leash” see the above article.

    I hope this helped.

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  22. me and my ex just had a huge fight we hav been broken up for a few months but still hanging out tlkng all the time and having sex ..i want him to be back with me but wen i start tha nc rule i want us to b getting along..or duz it matter?? hes been going out alot to bars and stuff im scared hes going to find some1 else i dont wana loose him and thats y i havnt used the nc rule yet ive juss been letting him have the best of both worlds

  23. I agree with S. Williams on this Rolando. Proposing marriage will send the wrong message to your ex. Be strong, follow the plan that he personally supports and win her back for good. Good luck to you!

  24. Hi Rolando,

    You said you were using no contact, do you have a plan to follow?

    If not you’re probably doing everything wrong…understand?

    If you want to get her back, you”ll need to start pulling her towards you again, and no contact when used correctly in a step by step plan, can do just that…are you interested?

    I am willingly to work with you if you’re willingly to get a plan and follow it…OK?

    Otherwise, you’re just shooting in the dark…hoping to hit the target.

    Meanwhile this distance between you and your ex girlfriend is getting wider.

    Here’s one thing I can tell you right now…

    Do not propose to her until you have a good plan figured out.

    If you move too soon with something like that she will only think you’re proposing out of desperation…and she”ll turn you down flat…make sense?

    Please don’t worry it’s not too late, and I will help guide you through this plan.

    Thanks for taking the time to ask your question, and I look forward to helping you get back together with your ex girlfriend.

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

    1. hi,

      i’ve been together with my bf for 3 years and we have broke up and patch back for 2-3 times. it has always been the same issue as we both are strong headed and often quarrel. 1 month ago, I initiate to break up with him as the same issue surfaces again. i thought he will gave in and beg for me to come back but he dint and agreed w the break up. in the end i realise i cant live without him & regretted my decision & i begged for him to be back. he agreed but he has been v cold to me after we gt back till he doesnt wanna hug or kiss me. when we hold hands, he was relunctant too. thus i initiate to let him go again as i dont wish to force him to be tgt w me, he agreeed. but nw,i’m feeling so much pain in my heart, i just want e rs to be back to what it was. he said he still loves me but he has a barrier in his heart due to the repeating issues and afraid to get back to me. should i use the NC message?

      1. Hi,

        The best way to handle your current situation would be to leave your ex boyfriend alone, and get your life back again.

        If you want to evolve past the break up and get your life back, go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

        Take Care,

        S.W.

  25. Hi,

    My girlfriend ended the relationship 3 months ago, saying that she needed space, was confused, and was feeling different towards me from some time. She told me that she love me, but there was something missing that she couldn’t explain.

    Our relationship was for almost 4 years, and we never lived together, each of us have their own apartment. I’m divorced and have a 17 year old daughter, she is single and never been maried.

    I know that she wanted to marry, but I never compromise and proposed.

    She let me know that was not the reason of she taking the decision, that it was her feelings towards me.

    In this case, I didn’t commit to mariage after 4 years, but the reason that she gave me is that she is not feeling the sane for me.

    I’m currently using no contact, because we didn’t live together, she has called a few times but only to know how I’m doing, nothing more.

    Is NC the correct approach? How should I approach her, and what I have to do in order to prove my commitment? Propose, and risk that she reject me, because she really doesn’t love me anymore?

    Let me know your opinion, please.

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