What Are The Top 5 Deal Breakers That Would Make You Dump Your Boyfriend or Husband?

What 5 things would make you so mad, disgusted, or shocked enough to make you dump your boyfriend/husband and turn him into your ex boyfriend/ex husband? I figured I talk enough on my Blog, and it’s about time I heard from you, my readers…so, welcome to “The Great Relationship Debate.” This is something I am going to be doing on an on going basis so “hit me” with all your comments and questions, OK?

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Make your list starting with the fifth worst thing, and end with the absolute worst thing your boyfriend or husband could do that would make you want to dump him…OK? Just submit your response as a comment below. Now, men do not feel left out, feel free to add any comments you have as well as any ideas for a future question for “The Great Relationship Debate” as I hope to do this on a regular basis. I also welcome all suggestions from anyone and everyone for future editions of this new addition to my Blog, OK?

Now to keep up with the on going responses to this editions question, bookmark it by clicking here.

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Remember you can also submit your ideas for future questions, and I will pick some and post new questions as I get more ideas…sound good? I will also pick readers questions and respond to them with either an article or video response pretty cool, huh? I need to start making some videos (just need to figure out how first) so you people get to see I am a real live person…lol.

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43 Comments

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  1. I would have to say cheating

  2. thekattlady wrote:

    why do you think there are so much problems with kids since the 1970’s??…because there are no parents at home to welcome them…they are both working

    Hi Kat Lady,

    I agree…that is why I choose to work from home, and take my son out of a broken public school system, and home school him.

    I tried to work with the public school system, and they lied to me about a child’s behavior at school…until they learned I lived in the same building, and saw how he acted for myself.

    He was tormenting my son, and others on the school bus everyday…and the system protected him, and left the innocent children to be victims.

    It seems we live in a society that protects the criminals, and punishes the innocent.

    As you mentioned, we all deserve respect, and should respect each other equally…and teach our children to do the same.

    Thank you for your comment…

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  3. @ Wendy:
    this is for your way of stating the fact that maybe your grandchild would be raised by an illegal immigrant or nanny..First..its illegal to give a job to anyone that is ilegal in this country..but in a way..the way you said it seems like its a bad thing to do by these people..an ilegal immigrant or nanny…firts, its a job like any other..and these two people..ilegal or not..deserve a better way said..or mentioned..there are millions of children who have been raised by these people..and they do more than just babysit..most of them do more than babysitting…so please..dont mentioned them as if they do a diservice to people who work…if not for them…trust me..kids would be left alone to an empty room..a frozen tv dinner, and a television or a high tech gadget to keep them company until their high income parents come home to parent them? yeah right…why do you think there are so much problems with kids since the 1970’s??…because there are no parents at home to welcome them…they are both working…but the lucky ones had an illegal or a nanny waiting for them..a real person…that they can trust to take care of them like a parent should…

    so next time…make sure you respect those people that maybe..just maybe..will one day take care of your grandkids…who knows right?

  4. @ Carolyn:
    Hi Carolyn,

    Sexual abuse, and cheating are definitely deal-breakers for me too.

    Thanks for your comment!

    S. Williams

  5. @ Sandy:
    @ Cassandra:
    Hi Sandy & Cassandra,

    I think you both have a problem with men who don’t take marriage seriously.

    Sandy had one asked her for money, and Cassandra had one flip-flop on his marriage proposal.

    Thanks for your comments!

    S. Williams

  6. 5.Lying to me
    4.Thinks were fighting
    3.Changes his mind on wanting to marry me.
    2.Not talking to me
    1.Cheated on me more than 1 time.

  7. 1) Physical and emotional abuse
    2) No communication
    3) No respect for your feelings, or no respect at all
    4) Puts you has his last priorty, or not on his priorty list at all (ie only wants you when he wants you)
    5)Tells you he wants to marry you ect.. then asks you for money.

  8. @ Carolyn:
    Hi Carolyn,

    Thanks for sharing!

  9. My 5 no no’s……….
    5. Disrespectful in any damaging way
    4. Compulsive Lieing
    3. Alcahol or drug abuse
    2. Sexual Abuse
    1. Cheating

  10. @ S. Williams:
    to answer your questions?
    Answer to the income question – is somewhat of a marker that they have something going for them, as long as the $ is made legally (lol) – they have the ability to support themselves, maybe even a decent career.

    I understand…but does that make them the man of your dreams?

    What if your perfect match didn’t have a great career, but had a job he loved and was proud of and fell below you’re requested income level…would you miss out on the opportunity to find true love because of a marker?

    >>I’ve dated men who make millions and men who can’t make anything, but treated me better than anyone else in years. I feel the marker should exist but be used with care. Because in the end even true love has realities. If he can’t make a living, and that one couldn’t, what’s the chances of the relationship lasting? Someone’s got to pay the bills and I’m not in a field where I make a whole lot and yes I am the type who wants a partnership where we both contribute relatively equally. He wanted a family but couldn’t even support himself, still can’t and is in his mid-50s.

    I also have issue with that because in my failed marriage I ended up in a similar situation with a liar and debtor, business owner who racked up over six figures of credit card debt. So for me, the guy needs to have a decent job/career, financial ethics and control and at this point retirement plans, as well as at a minimum, able manage his own financial affairs. Life is hard enough without adding more stress and financial woes can be very stressful <<

    The bottom line is this, dating is about taking some risks and going on dates, and not about pre-screening people judged on income and career goals.

    When you automatically dismiss someone before getting to really know them you are doing a disservice to yourself, aren’t you?
    <>

  11. karen wrote:

    5. infidelity, a huge no no, if you want more go get it but have the decency to leave your partner first.

    I agree Karen, if you’re not happy, then break it off and go find someone who will make you happy.

    Thanks for your response, any ideas for a new question?

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  12. hi there, my big no no’s apart from the given ones of abuse etc are

    1. toxic relationship with his family, where past issues were never addressed. amazing manipulators.
    2. alcohol abuse, it leads to so much more
    3. Being a bachelor in a relationship, wanting your cake and to eat it
    4. Lies lies and more lies-loss of integrity and trust goes down the drain
    5. infidelity, a huge no no, if you want more go get it but have the decency to leave your partner first.

  13. Income “markers” are interesting. I put that in the same bin as me having an education level to match my own. If I am honest about who is truly compatible with me, and will understand or meet my needs, than I would have to admit that I put heavy stance on education, and “smart” men as I define it for myself. But, since I don’t date men who don’t have the education I am looking for in a mate, its not a deal breaker. If I have choosen to date him, I have already vetted him against my private requirements/needs in a potential long term mate. Otherwise he’s just something fun, and I have to acknowledge that in myself.

    If the forum is for debate, I would post up a question that generates debate and different viewpoints. For example..the debate about the man being the house-husband, or do children of single parent families have bias upraisings or deficiencies in how they will manage their emotions or self as adults (given probably one parent is lesser available then another). What about the role of the man in the modern family> The role of the woman, what are the sub-concious expectations desires vs societal pressure/values?

    These topics should lead to debate.

  14. goldie wrote:

    Answer to the income question – is somewhat of a marker that they have something going for them, as long as the $ is made legally (lol) – they have the ability to support themselves, maybe even a decent career.

    I understand…but does that make them the man of your dreams?

    What if your perfect match didn’t have a great career, but had a job he loved and was proud of and fell below you’re requested income level…would you miss out on the opportunity to find true love because of a marker?

    The bottom line is this, dating is about taking some risks and going on dates, and not about pre-screening people judged on income and career goals.

    When you automatically dismiss someone before getting to really know them you are doing a disservice to yourself, aren’t you?

    Thanks for your response…any ideas for the next question about the great relationship debate?

  15. @ S. Williams:
    as you requested:

    Answer to the income question – is somewhat of a marker that they have something going for them, as long as the $ is made legally (lol) – they have the ability to support themselves, maybe even a decent career. I’m a smart career woman and I want someone equivalent. How they use that ability is a secondary question in my mind. Yes they can make and spend it all and many do. My ex who definitely wanted a sugar momma was also after marriage – so he could secure that momma up for life and guarantee his way of living wouldn’t be disrupted. Too bad it didn’t last for him, and good for me I got out. He’s got a new sugar momma wife now btw and is still a financial black hole disaster. The first thing he ever said about her was how rich her dad was…enough said.

  16. goldie wrote:

    5. Financial wreck. whether gambler, debtor or spender, if he can’t take responsibility for his financial house and keep it together, or is always expecting me to come to the rescue on his bills, there is no place for him in my life. Been there, done that.

    Hi Goldie,

    I would have to agree with this one for sure, it would make you think he was after a Sugar Momma not a girlfriend.

    Although it really kills me how on dating sites, some women list a certain level of income as requirement for the men they are willing to date…what’s up with that?

    This guy could make all that make and spend it all too, right?

    Are they looking for the love of their life, or an asset?

    All the rest of your list are excellent too, what about your suggestion for the next question for TGRD?

    Thanks for your response!

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  17. What 5 things would make you so mad, disgusted, or shocked enough to make you dump your boyfriend/husband and turn him into your ex boyfriend/ex husband?
    –Given that mental illness, all types of abuse and drugs/alchohol are already accounted for, here are my other 5:
    1. lack of respect/trust/compassion/lying – if he repeatedly does things that make me question his sincerity towards me or his lack of integrity in general
    2. one-way relationship – as a very giving type person I know I can be taken advantage of by an opportunist. If the relationship becomes mostly about him and his selfishness becomes evident, or when I raise my needs they are ignored. I need a two-way street to not feel resentful and to feel appreciated/loved
    3. plays with my head/heart — implies future that leads me on and says things that implicate we’ll be together down the road, then when those special romantic evenings are there, he isn’t. Nor does he share things that matter to me but says he will.
    4. Infidelity. enough said. no tolerance. once there is a commitment. Don’t think I’ve experienced as I make clear up front is a deal breaker and when it did happen early on once, I walked.
    5. Financial wreck. whether gambler, debtor or spender, if he can’t take responsibility for his financial house and keep it together, or is always expecting me to come to the rescue on his bills, there is no place for him in my life. Been there, done that.

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