No Contact Rule – 30 Days or a Lifetime?

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The no contact rule is not magic, it’s common sense. Do you really think 30 days is too much to ask, for a lifetime of love? You only have 2 choices, really. Use it for 30 days, or spend the rest of your life right where you are now. The funny thing is that most people choose the second choice…do you?

No Contact Rule – Get My Ex Back – Point 1

When a person moves neither forward or backward, they are just stuck…is that you? This is the kind of “limbo” the no contact rule will break you out of. People believe it is better to “play it safe” then to take control of their situation. You are sorely mistaken if you think this is the easiest way to go. In fact it is much harder than using no contact to get your ex back. So, ask yourself; “Why am I doing this?”

No Contact Rule – Win My Ex Back – Point 2

I mentioned that you might think that using no contact will be “too hard.” What exactly is “hard” about it? I know being away from your ex boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife is hurting you. But you can fix this problem, and you’ll have to start with yourself. Why? Because you’re the one convincing yourself to do nothing, and put up with the pain. You are already in pain, so why not use no contact to end it?

Use No Contact to Save You From A Lifetime of Pain

No Contact Rule – Get Ex Back – Point 3

There is no set amount of time to use no contact to win back an ex. People seem to think there is, when in fact every break up will be different. For instance, if this has been an on going problem (break up every other week), as compared to a simple little fight that just got blown out of portion, each resolution will be different. The first example will take longer to solve then say the little fight that just went overboard. But, in both cases using the techniques in the no contact rule, will bring both couples back together faster. So you see, do not focus on the amount of time it will take, focus on a positive outcome, instead.

No Contact Rule – Win Your Ex Back – Point 4

Most people do not know how to correctly use no contact…do you? If you think it is only about not contacting your ex, you are mistaken. There is so much more to a good no contact plan. The reason people are failing with NC is because either they don’t have a good strategy, or they refuse to follow a good plan. Both cases are a no win situation. You have to understand one thing right now. The chances of your ex coming back on their own, without you taking some positive action, are very slim, like winning the lottery, very slim.

No Contact Rule – Get Your Ex Back – Point 5

Another factor most people over look when using no contact, is support. You need to have someone, whether it is a close friend or relative, to keep you steady, and on track with your NC plan. The trouble here is that most of the time your friends, and family will not support your plans. They become a thorn on your side, instead of a strong force to steady you. It’s not their fault really, they think they know what’s best for you, but they don’t, you do. You won’t be able to move on, or live a happy life until you know for sure, if it’s really over between you and your ex.

Most people can not do this all by themselves. That is why it is wise to find someone who will help you. If you are emotionally unbalanced you need someone or something to keep you in balance…Right? You need a plan, a plan that works. If you want to survive this break up you’ll need help. Wouldn’t you rather spend 30 days or more (if necessary) to solve this problem, than to have to live with it the rest of your life? If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below, and I will answer them ASAP. So I ask you; What can I do to help you better understand the no contact rule? What are you willingly to do to you get your ex back?

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people for more than 3 years to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free plan to get your ex back fast, and start getting your life back today. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.

Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.

If this article was useful or helpful to you in anyway, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.

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50 Responses to “No Contact Rule – 30 Days or a Lifetime?”

  1. melissa says:

    hi…im just reading your blog about no contact rule…let me explain you about my condition…i’ve been together with my ex for nearly 6 years, and the thing that made me so shocked was he already has a new girlfriend 2 days after we broke up…now, me n him don’t have any contact anymore….is no contact rule method really work?what should i do?im no longer contact with him for a month since we break up. then one problem has happened. there is someone which is i don’t know who is he/she emailed to his new girlfriend, wrote about nasty things to her.him, her and most of my ex’s friends thought that the mysterious person was me, they were blame me for all things i didn’t do…for this situation is that still possible to make my ex wanting me back?what should i do to make no contact rule method work for me??how long do i have to wait for my ex to come back?is he already feel nothing to me?or is just the rebound relationship?waiting for reply needly….thanks a lot

  2. S. Williams says:

    melissa wrote:

    is no contact rule method really work?what should i do?

    My advice would be to go to the section called “Start Here First” and read all the FAQ’s.

    And if you’re really serious about getting your ex back, you should consider getting a good book with a detailed plan in it like the Magic of Making Up system.

    melissa wrote:

    how long do i have to wait for my ex to come back?is he already feel nothing to me?or is just the rebound relationship?

    These are questions that can be answered here:

    Love Readings

  3. arastol says:

    Hi,
    It’s already been a month of no contact, although I didn’t exactly send the NC message (not knowing about it at the time). We broke up a month ago over the phone and only exchanged 2 txts the next day to confirm the breakup (his idea, he felt he needed to be by himself as he didn’t know if he’s ever going to be able to love again and didn’t want to waste my time. we were together for one year, going through some major things together). I never replied to his last message and just went ahead with NC. I’ve kept busy, had fun with friends, registered for a half maraton and only after a few days I started feeling more confident and didn’t feel like crying anymore. NC was relatively easy as I didn’t feel there was much to say anyway and i didn’t want to chase him. I felt I should regroup first. Now it’s been 4 weeks and though is still miss him sometimes and thinks it’s a shame it ended, I understand that he is at a point where he needs space and I don’t hate him. Quite the opposite. He has respected my wish not to call me, but now I feel it will be time soon (maybe in another 3 weeks or so) to have the exchange of stuff. I don’t want our first contact to be about that, so I’m thinking I could send him a short grudge-free happy easter to him and his family text a week from now (on easter). That would be me breaking NC after 5 weeks. Is that the right thing to do if I’m hoping for reconciliation in the long run?

  4. S. Williams says:

    arastol wrote:

    That would be me breaking NC after 5 weeks. Is that the right thing to do if I’m hoping for reconciliation in the long run?

    Hi,

    Yes, that would be breaking NC, but you eventually will have to break NC if you want to reconnect, right?

    I wouldn’t suggest sending a card, I would advise that you go read the free plan on my Blog.

    The last part is about reconnection.

    Use the plan outlined there, and if he just puts you off, start from the beginning of the free plan, and follow every step.

    NC is more than just stopping communication, and how you initiate it really makes a difference.

    The way it is done in the free plan works really well.

    The link for the free plan is on the right-hand side of my Blog.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  5. arastol says:

    Thanks, you really are a star for getting back to everyone so quickly. I have read the plan and I even have the book the Magic of Making up and I know it’s recommended to reconnect with a phone call, but since I would be contacting him on Easter a phone call is not really an option as we are probably both out of the country to be with our families at this time. So I would just send a happy holiday text and see if and how he responds. I have no reason to think he wouldn’t want to hear from me. After the text I plan not to initiate anything until a week or two later when I will need my stuff back from him and then I will call him.
    Does this sound like an ok plan to you? I’m trying to tread very carefully here not to blow any chances.

  6. S. Williams says:

    arastol wrote:

    I know it’s recommended to reconnect with a phone call, but since I would be contacting him on Easter a phone call is not really an option as we are probably both out of the country to be with our families at this time.

    Hi,

    I would recommend waiting until a later time, give yourself more time to evolve.

    I don’t know how long NC has been, or of you sent the recommended NC message in the free plan on my Blog.

    30 days is never enough time, and if you didn’t use the recommended NC message it may take a lot longer.

    You only get one chance to make your opening reconnect move, don’t rush into it…take your time, and make sure you are completely ready.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

    • Jessica says:

      Okay so my guy left me for another girl in the midst of losing his job, being depressed, going through rehab,and having to find a new place.So I didn’t know how to use the no contact rule before I actually looked it up in your forums and well I’m not sure what I should do next?

      This was my nc message: “Hey I’m sorry idk what I did but I’m sorry for whatever it was.. I hope ypur happy and everything works out I really do.. If ya still want to be friends or just talk cool if not I understand. Wish ya the best” His response “You didn’t do anything!!! do wanna talk soon. I can’t tell you how sorry I am” me “No don’t be its cool ya when your free would be nice if thats ok?” then I texted him the next day and he was busy then he texted me the following day and I was busy .. I texted em back that night and haven’t heard from him since. That was Oct 18 I left it alone since then I don’t know what to do, we haven’t spoken. Wish found your website before hand so I would’ve done exactly what I was suppose to :/

      • S. Williams says:

        Hi,

        It is not too late to start using the no contact rule and get your life back, and in the meantime reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you.

        Why?

        Because…

        I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

        Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

        Thank you for writing.

        Take Care,

        S.W.

        IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  7. arastol says:

    Hi, thanks and happy Easter to you. I was very tempted to text him for the holiday, but I listened to you, and didn’t contact him. It’s almost five weeks now since last communication/breakup. No I did not send the NC message (because I didn’t know about it at the time).
    Here’s another question: This coming week I will have to break no contact and call him, because he still has my suitcase and I’ll need it for an upcoming trip. So I will have to call him and ask him to meet me somewhere to exchange the stuff. My question is, how do you keep it light and fun and not remind him of the breakup (as it says in the plan), if you have to exchange stuff. Isn’t stuff in itself a reminder of a failed relationship? Also during the first call, should I mention why I’m calling immediately, or just before hanging up? What are the pitfalls I should look out for?

    Also, will you let me join the forum if I didn’t send the NC message in the first place?

  8. S. Williams says:

    arastol wrote:

    I was very tempted to text him for the holiday, but I listened to you, and didn’t contact him.

    Great Job arastol! :thumbup:

    arastol wrote:

    This coming week I will have to break no contact and call him, because he still has my suitcase and I’ll need it for an upcoming trip. So I will have to call him and ask him to meet me somewhere to exchange the stuff. My question is, how do you keep it light and fun and not remind him of the breakup (as it says in the plan), if you have to exchange stuff. Isn’t stuff in itself a reminder of a failed relationship? Also during the first call, should I mention why I’m calling immediately, or just before hanging up? What are the pitfalls I should look out for?

    Just keep it all about the business of getting your stuff, and that’s it!

    Avoid all talk of your NC message, and what you are doing by changing the subject, or saying you are not ready to talk yet.

    Whatever you do, don’t let him get you rattled, if you need support…bring a friend, he won’t start in front of someone else.

    The key to success here is to make it a fast exchange, and leave, this is NOT the time to try to reconnect, understand?

    There is more about how to handle situations like this in the free plan…read it.

    arastol wrote:

    Also, will you let me join the forum if I didn’t send the NC message in the first place?

    NO!

    You must agree to send, and send the NC message outlined in the free plan to become forum member.

    The forum is for serious ASS KICKERS only.

    Keep up the good work, and…

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  9. Kirby25231 says:

    Hi.

    i recently got a job I’d been searching for the past 6 months. I wanted to thank everyone who helped me. This would include my ex’s brother-in-law. Would it be breaking NC if I e-mailed him to thank him? Obviously, there would be no talk about the ex.

    Thanks.

  10. S. Williams says:

    Kirby25231 wrote:

    I wanted to thank everyone who helped me. This would include my ex’s brother-in-law. Would it be breaking NC if I e-mailed him to thank him?

    Hi,

    No, that would not be breaking NC, as long as you don’t ask about your ex, or answer any personal questions.

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  11. arastol says:

    Hi again,

    I am going away on a trip in a week, so this Thursday evening I forced myself to gather the courage and calm to break NC and call my ex boyfriend in a bid to get my suitcase from him. it had been more than five weeks of NC (but without the message). I was nervous but I pulled my act together, wrote down a few words to say and called him in the evening. All that effort and then he didn’t pick up. I didn’t leave a message, thinking he’s gonna return the call. He broke up with me and the break-up wasn’t hateful and although we both cried during the breakup, I’ve not bothered him since in any way.
    The thing is, it’s Saturday now and he still hasn’t returned my call. it’s weird, because I can’t think of a reason he wouldn’t want to talk to me. However I still need my suitcase and now I don’t know how to proceed. Do I call him again in a couple of days? If again he doesn’t pick up, do i leave a message and tell him I just want my stuff? Or do I not leave a message and if again he doesn’t pick up, I send an email and keep it to the point? Is calling again on Sunday evening too soon? (I’m worried he might be going away for the week with his daughter, which would mean my suitcase would probably go with him or stay locked in his appartment). Any thoughts?

  12. S. Williams says:

    arastol wrote:

    I forced myself to gather the courage and calm to break NC and call my ex boyfriend in a bid to get my suitcase from him. it had been more than five weeks of NC (but without the message).

    Hi,

    Since you never really properly initiated NC (sent the NC Message), you can’t really break it, understand?

    I wouldn’t worry about how many times you call to get your stuff, just don’t bring up the breakup or any other personal information.

    Just keep the contact direct to the point, and set up a time to get your stuff.

    After that I would “highly” recommend that you start following the free plan, and send the recommended NC message (no changes), then you will be using NC correctly.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  13. arastol says:

    yes i was going to send the NC message after i get my stuff, but how do i get it if he doesn’t take or return my call in the first place? Should I switch to email?

  14. S. Williams says:

    arastol wrote:

    but how do i get it if he doesn’t take or return my call in the first place? Should I switch to email?

    You know him better than I do, use whatever method you think will work, just stick to the plan I just gave you, alright?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  15. Kl says:

    How long will it take to get the book “magic of making up” if I am from Malaysia?

  16. S. Williams says:

    Kl wrote:

    How long will it take to get the book “magic of making up” if I am from Malaysia?

    Hi,

    The book MOMU is only available online as a download, so if you order it, you should get it immediately.

    Go read the free plan for more details about the book, and how to use it along with the free plan, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  17. steve says:

    I know you’re adamant about sending a NC message. Here’s why I’m hesitant– It would be redundant. I spoke with my ex gf in person over the weekend and I told her I wasn’t going to contact her b/c I was still in love with her and not ready to be friends. Of course this was all before I found your site. She was rather cold, then we ended up hanging out the next night, which resulted in some drama, and she called me the next morning and we both agreed our hanging out isn’t healthy right now. So I did contact her more that day, just everyday stuff, but now it has been two days with me not contacting her at all. If I send the NC message, I’m afraid of 2 things–first, it will come off as kind of redundant, and like I’m contacting her yet again to say things we’ve already been over, and secondly, I don’ think she’ll buy it–I have been soooo clingy and pleading, over and over, unfand done everything wrong up to this point–to suddenly ask that she not contact me will sound false and almost laughable, and like I’m trying to make a play for something. Under these circumstances, shouldn’t I just build on the two days I already have going and not risk a redundant NC message simply looking like further contact?

    Thanks!

  18. S. Williams says:

    steve wrote:

    Under these circumstances, shouldn’t I just build on the two days I already have going and not risk a redundant NC message simply looking like further contact?

    Hi,

    You’re just afraid to send it.

    The bottom line is NC works much faster with better results when you follow ALL the steps in the free plan.

    Don’t take my word for it, go read our forum, and the success stories on both my Blog and the forum.

    Success is waiting for you, if you have “the balls” to follow the plan correctly. 8)

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  19. Katty says:

    Hi Scott,

    First I must say, that this is a really great place for people who are looking for help. Thanks for creating it!

    I have this problem:
    My BF (of six months) broke up with me three months ago. I didn’t sent him NC message, because I didn’t know I should do it. But I haven’t contacted him since the breakup (my pride has helped me with that). But I have met him few times because of our common friends and I tried to behave “neutrally friendly”.

    I will be living abroad for half a year and only then do I plan to reconnect with him. (Do you think I have a chance to succeed or will it be too late to reconnect? I hope, that I will have more time to change and evolve, but who knows…)

    The biggest problem right now for me is my personal evolution – I am working on changes (my attitude and appearance), but I am still thinking too far ahead (planning the reconnection) and not concentrating on the present. I really feel lost and it seems impossible to let go… (and I am worried, that he will find someone else by the time I get back or that the reconnection will not be possible…)

    Do you have any idea what I should do?

    Would you allow me to become a member of your forum even thought I haven’t send an NC message? I would really like to…

    Katty

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I think you should go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      If you’re really serious about your personal evolution you will start it right by sending the recommended NC message (word for word)…it is a requirement to become a forum member, everyone has to do it.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  20. Katty says:

    Thank you for reply, Scott.
    Are you really sure, that sending NC message is a good idea after three months of silence?

  21. Katty says:

    Thank you!
    Take care,
    Katty

  22. jet says:

    i downloaded magic of making up and subscribed to your e-mails. maybe i missed it but what is the NC message?

    i was going out with this person for 4 years and broke up 4 months ago. we have been communcating until the past week when i got tired of rejection after a good day of hanging out.

    i don’t know what to do at this point.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If you subscribed to my newsletter, the first email you received explained about the free plan, and about a free bonus report as well.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  23. sana says:

    really amazing….. Need your help as i m stuck in a worser situation..how can i contact you.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I do not offer private personal support.

      What I offer is a free plan and support forum for people who want to get their lives back together after a break up.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      You will learn how to help yourself, and get your life back.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  24. Jane M says:

    My bf and I broke up and it’s been 11 days since we had no contact. I wrote him the little note and all. The problem is that we were living together and I have alot of furniture and other items that are in his house. I have the keys to his house and he knows I come in to get stuff little by little. I believe he is moving on and even went on dates but I’m so miserable! How long do I wait to contact him? When do I get my stuff? Do I just come in and get everything when he’s at work and not tell him? Do I email him? Call him?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I am not sure what “little note” you are talking about…did you send the recommended no contact message (no changes) as outlined in the free plan?

      If you’re not following the free plan I can not help you.

      If you want my help, first make a date to go get ALL your stuff at one time…don’t drag this out hoping he will ask you to come back.

      You must take control of this situation.

      Once you have all your stuff out of there, go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps which means sending the recommended no contact message…no changes.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  25. Jane M says:

    OK, ironically he called yesterday for the first time. I didn’t answer right away but I called back after an hour and thought it might be a good time to let him know I am getting all my stuff Friday. He said he called because we need to talk, that he misses me and wants to work things out. I told him I’m will think about it and will call him, I ended it there. Now, what?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I have no idea what kind of plan you have been following so how am I supposed to answer a question like; “now what”?

      I have no idea at what stage of NC you are at or anything, so my suggestion is…

      Go get your stuff, don’t talk about anything, just leave or have a friend go get it, or have him drop it off and have a friend be there in your place.

      After that send the recommended no contact message as outlined in the free plan.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Beware premature reconciliation, it will only benefit your ex boyfriend.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  26. wantmylostloveback says:

    Hi Sir,

    The relationship is 2 years and 4 months, but the last 4 months is a relationship limbo. This last 4 months is like riding in a roller coaster, or being involve in a demolition thing. He hasn’t told me pointblank that it is over, but the way he treats me, ignores me, took me for granted,played with my feelings, simply says that “I DON’T LOVE YOU THE WAY I USED TO”. So, last month I decided to tell him that I can’t take it anymore, and I want my self-worth back (thru text only). But honestly, I am in a limbo if really “I can’t take it anymore” or “I can’t take it anymore, just for now”. I regretted sending that text because he cut contact with me. But after 3 days, he did contact again. But I declined, he pursued, but I am firm. Human weakness, after a week of no contact, I fall of the wagon. I decided to contact him. I should say we were back. But sadly, JUST FOR A WEEK, because of the same old scenario of him taking me for granted. I’m hopeless. But I come across your site and hoping what it can do for me. I WANT TO OBTAIN MY HEART’S DESIRE. But, I am open to the possibility that if it is not God’s will, at least I will get speedy healing. So 3 days ago, I sent him the NC message. He replied the next day saying “WHAT BIG DECISIONS?”. I did not reply after that. Did I do the right thing of holding myself to give a reply? If not, then what should I be telling him to answer his question “WHAT BIG DECISIONS?”?

    I would appreciate greatly if you can give me feedback on this. I am really confused.

    Thank you and more power to you! Godbless!

    • S. Williams says:

      wantmylostloveback says:

      So 3 days ago, I sent him the NC message. He replied the next day saying “WHAT BIG DECISIONS?”. I did not reply after that. Did I do the right thing of holding myself to give a reply?

      Hi,

      Yes, you did the right thing, and you need to keep on doing the right thing if you want to succeed using the no contact rule.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The quickest way to get your man back and keep him, is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  27. wantmylostloveback says:

    Hi,

    It’s been almost 2 weeks.Although I admit I fell off the wagon several times in those 2 weeks, but finally, just today, 20th JULY 2011, I made a decision to finally get my ex back! My FORMER SELF back!Not him, but my old nice self!I have been clinging to the relationship and to the person for quite sometime. Although we’ve been in a demolition zone type of relationship for over 4 months, still I wanna believe that there’s still hope and chance. Primarily because he hasn’t said pointblank that it’s over. But his actions speaks louder! But yesterday I tried to make a discussion about us, about the changes, is there still a relationship, does he still loves me and needs me just like before. But what i received is a very sweet reply of ‘WHATEVER’! That ‘whatever’ is a revelation. A revelation to finally change direction, turn my back on him, let go, and finally move on. I don’t know what came into me. From the lovesick puppy dog few months ago, here I am stronger than ever. Your site did a great help! I always do a lot of readings from blog posts, your writings, everything. And i thank you so much! I may not be able to get my ex back, but I am certain that I will get my old nice self back! And that’s the victory I will have in this battle of life! It’s not yet too late, I believe. It’s not my loss, but definitely my gain! Praise God for the revelation. And thanks to you S. Williams! More power to you and to this site!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I know you will be successful using the no contact rule, and the free plan to get your ex back to evolve past your break, and get your life back.

      All you have to do is stick to the plan, and take it one step-at-a-time.

      I wish you success!

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • nina.dulce says:

        I am confused as to what message to send based on my situation.

        I broke up with him with him while drunk and din’t remember. For the past 3 weeks I have done everything to get him back. Began with the pleading, begging, promise I’ve changed, staking attitude. We became friends with benefits ( he was clear about not seeing me as a girlfriend for him anymore due to me disrespecting him immensely while drunk) yet we slept 3 times, all initiated by me which he reminds me of often.

        I have asked for a last chance various times and he says he just can’t see me the same way after I crossed that line of respect, however I am not willing to degrade myself to the point of being his “prostitute”.

        At the beginning when we spoke of what went down he had told me that he still wanted to be friends but that it was best to not see each other for a while, of course I ignored that and chased him hoping to change his mind till it came to this. It has been 3 weeks since the breakup but we have taken no time apart.

        Now I was thinking the message should go something like “You were right when you said we should not have any contact after what happened….”…..since my intention was not to break up with him and I don’t really remember since I was drunk, and he hasn’t broken up with me, he simply won’t give another chance.

        I know this is off topic, but what are the chance of getting him back when I have hurt his ego and he lives off of his pride? He obviously cares and desires me, I hurt him a lot but now it’s more about his pride then anything else.

        I appreciate any input….yesterday we made love and then he sent me to sleep in the sofa because he didn’t want his family to assume we were working things out….which is what drew the straw for me.

        Our relationship was only 6 months long (although long enough for me t fall in love for the first time)….and we are both in our late 20′s if that is of any importance.

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          It doesn’t matter what you said when you broke up with him…you are broken up, right?

          I help people use the no contact rule to evolve past a break up, and reveal their ex boyfriend’s true feelings.

          I also help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

          The fastest way to get him back is to get your life back first.

          Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

          PS – Use the recommended NC message (no changes) for someone who broke up with their ex.

  28. SECOND CHANCE says:

    My BF stopped seeing me due to the jealousy argument, (I got jealous…) Then he sent me a message addressing that he loves me but doesn´t feel committed and it is not fair for me to keep seeing each other. Then I sent him a NC 3 weeks ago. He also mentioned that he never had anyone so close in his life…and he is tempted to call me etc.. But after the NC, it has been 3 weeks.. Dont you think he is going to forget me? He is going to let things go? I am very worried..

    :(( Just for your info, I attach a slightly modified message he sent me 4 weeks ago. I sent NC 1 week after. I do not know what to do…

    “I think it’s best for both of us to stop seeing each other. It’s certainly not fair on you to keep meeting up when I know I’m not fully committed to getting back together.
    Anyway, the things that you said to me made me (=My jealousy reacting comments) realise that I was being cruel and it’s wrong for me to keep meeting up with you when I know you’re desperately hoping we’ll get back together.I have been tempted to call you to go out, but I’ve decided to start being responsible and thinking of other people instead of myself. The truth is that I don’t think us getting back together us going to happen. You’re a wonderful girl, beautiful, smart and so, so good, perhaps the kindest person I’ve ever met, but I just don’t feel it’s going to work. I’m starting to think now that my life will be one lived alone and I think I’m happy with that for now – I’ve been on my own for a long time now and that’s just the way things have panned out. I want you to know that you’ve made a real difference in my life (you really have taught me so much) and I know we’ve had some great times together. The truth is that you’re the closest thing I’ve had to the real thing and one of the few women who’ve really persisted with me in the face of all my bad habits and hang ups, and that’s something I won’t forget.I know you’re going to be upset by this and I’m truly sorry, but I know that there are some great things waiting for you out there and you’ve only got to say the word to make them happen, so I know you’ll be fine. But do know you can always count on me if you ever need my help or are in trouble – I know you know that. One final thing, I do love you in my own way and I think you know what I mean by that by the way that I’ve always treated you. I’ll understand if you don’t reply to this so if not.”

    What do you think I should do… He is very insecure and had difficult childhood..

    Am I supposed to just go NC till he contacts? He might be too scared to even contact me…

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Did you send him the recommended NC message as outlined in the free plan?

      If not you need to send the correct message for the best results.

      Your ex boyfriend likes the drama and the attention it gets him, he needs to grow up.

      You have to let completely go of the old failed relationship (and your ex) in-order to move past it.

      You can use the no contact rule to reveal his true feelings, and evolve past the break up.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

      • SECOND CHANCE says:

        Yes, I sent it 4 weeks ago… but no response… In 4 weeks from now, it is his Birthday. Do you think I can send him a birthday card from the opposite side of the earth since I am going to be travelling to far far far away?
        Just to say simply Happy Birthday?
        Or is it out of the rule?

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          The no contact rule means “no contact” at all, including birthday/holiday greetings…read the plan.

          This plan is about getting your life back, not your ex boyfriend.

          You must focus on following the plan, and not on what your ex is doing.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  29. Gina says:

    My boyfriend broke up with me over the phone after a year long relationship were we discussed marriage. I was hurt. What a cold way to dump someone after all that. He had just told me how much he wanted to marry me right before this happened. During the call I said I may call back for closure, but thought about it and I am not about to beg or plead someone that is rejecting me – a no win situation! I went into no contact from Day 1 and it has been 8 weeks. He has texted and called me a few times during the first month wanting to explain his side of the story – probably guilt, but I refuse to respond. He stopped trying to get in touch. I am not ready for contact and want to work on myself more. The 3-6 months you mention makes sense to me. I just found your website and I like the NC message, but feel it could backfire as this might be end up being a break in NC that makes me look like I just want to reach out to him and I am NOT ready to connect. Also I think the switch has been flipped he is trying to get me to contact him and has said he understands my decision. In some ways, it feels like I am the one who dumped him. Please advise, I know I can’t join the forum without the letter, but this could spur contact that would not be good for me now.

    • S. Williams says:

      Gina said:

      Please advise, I know I can’t join the forum without the letter, but this could spur contact that would not be good for me now.

      Hi,

      Sending the correct NC message will not hurt your NC, why?

      Because so far you are just ignoring your ex, and that (in my opinion) is not using NC correctly.

      Your ex is just waiting for you to “cool down”.

      You never put your intentions in writing, this makes a BIG difference.

      You need to make your intentions known by sending the exact NC message as outlined in the free plan.

      You can not join our forum unless you are following the free plan like all the other members, and that means sending the same NC message they did.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

      Gina said:

      The 3-6 months you mention makes sense to me.

      If you read the free plan I recommend 12 months of NC, it works out better in the long run for both people involved, and the majority of success stories support that theory.

  30. FP says:

    How are you? I hope your well. Just wanted some advice on a realationship I was in. There was a guy I meet in town and we hit it off good at first but things went down hill and then he left and went to CA. I’m from CT. I did not contact him for 5 months but I contact him to make amends. I did the rebound thing that didn’t work either. He broke up with me and didn’t tell me he was leaving to go to CA. I was so upset about it but I did the NC for 5 months. I contact him letting him know I wrote a book. He was happy for me and wanted me to call him but I couldn’t that day. The next week I tried to call him just once but didn’t call me back. Two weeks later tried to text him, again no responds. What does this mean? Does he miss me? I didn’t do anything wrong, he broke up with me and just left me without saying anything. Please help. I’m in no contact now. Thanks

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It doesn’t sound like your ex boyfriend wants to reconnect.

      You are not using the no contact rule correctly if you didn’t send the recommended NC message and follow the rest of the steps in the free plan.

      I suggest you just forget about your ex and focus on getting your life back.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  31. Alex says:

    Ok well my ex and I have been broken up for one month now but in that one month, we have had sex twice. After the second time, we kind of stopped contacting each other. I believe that that is a bad thing until one day he asked for me to come over. I told him that I would but I couldn’t. That was two weeks ago. Also, one day out of the blue, he asked if I had a boyfriend. I simply replied no as I was trying to established the NC rule. I really love him and want him back but I don’t know how to show him that change will come. How do I know if he’s officially done with me?

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