No Contact Rule – 30 Days or a Lifetime?

 
woman peering through iron bars
 
The no contact rule is not magic, it’s common sense.

Do you really think 30 days is too much to ask, to get your ex back?

You only have 2 choices, really.

Use it for 30 days, or spend the rest of your life, right where you are, now.

The funny thing is that most people choose the second choice…do you?

 


 

No Contact Rule – Point 1

 
When a person moves neither forward or backward, they are just stuck.

Sound familiar?

This is the kind of “limbo”, the no contact rule can break you out of.

People believe it is better to “play it safe”, then to take control of their situation.

You are sorely mistaken if you think this is the easiest way to go.

In fact, it is much harder than using no contact, to get your ex back.

So, ask yourself; “Why am I doing this?”

 


 

No Contact Rule – Point 2

 
I mentioned, that you might think that using no contact, will be “too hard.”

What exactly is “hard” about it?

I know being away from your ex-boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife is hurting you.

But, you can fix this problem, and, you’ll have to start with yourself.

Why?

Because, you’re the one convincing yourself to do nothing, and, put up with the pain.

Since you are already in pain.

Why not use the no contact rule, to end it?
 


 

No Contact Rule – Point 3

 
There is no definitive amount of time, a person must use no contact, to win back an ex.

People seem to think there is.

The basic ground rule is you must use it for at least 30 days.

But, this is just a starting point, in fact, every breakup, will be different.

For instance, if this has been an ongoing problem (break up every other week), as compared to a simple little fight, that just got blown out of portion, each resolution will be different.

The first example will take longer to solve, than, say the little fight, that just went overboard.

But, in both cases, using the techniques in the no contact rule, will bring both couples back together, faster.

So you see, do not focus on the amount of time it will take.

Focus, on a positive outcome, instead.

 


 

No Contact Rule – Point 4

 

Most people do not know, how to correctly use no contact…do you?

If you think it is only about not contacting your ex, you are mistaken.

There is so much more to a good no contact strategy.

The reason people are failing with NC, is, because, either they don’t have a good strategy, or, they refuse to follow a good strategy.

Both cases are a no win situation.

You have to understand one thing, right now.

The chances of your ex, coming back on their own, without you taking some positive action, are very slim, like winning the lottery, very slim.

 


 

No Contact Rule – Point 5

 

Another factor, most people overlook, when using no contact is support.

You need to have someone, whether it is a close friend or relative, to keep you steady, and, on track with your NC strategy.

The trouble here is that most of the time, your friends, and family, will not support your plan.

They become a thorn on your side, instead of, a solid foundation, to steady you.

It’s not their fault really, they think they know what’s best for you, but, in this case, they don’t, you do.

You won’t be able to move on, or, live a happy life, until you know for sure if it’s really over, between you and your ex.

Most people can not do this all by themselves.

That is why, it is wise to find someone, who will help you.

Someone like me. 🙂

If you are emotionally unbalanced you need someone, or, something, to keep you on track.

Right?

You need a plan, a plan that works.

If you want to survive this breakup, you’ll need help.

Wouldn’t you rather spend 30 days or more (if necessary), to solve this problem, then, to have to live with it, the rest of your life?

If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below, and I will answer them ASAP.

What can I do to help you use the no contact rule, correctly?

What are you willingly to do, to you get your ex back?

 


 

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

 

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008, to overcome breakup pain, and, get their lives back.

I even have an “About” section, that I recommend you read.

I realize the address, of my site, is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but, I “really” teach people, how to get their lives back, not just their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me, (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter, for access to the free breakup survival plan, and, start getting your life back, today.

The answers you need, to start your personal evolution, are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come, and get them.

Once, you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise.

If you have any comments or questions, please write them, in the comment box, below.

If this article was useful, or helpful, to you in any way, please show your appreciation, by giving me a “+1″, using the buttons, below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.

52 Comments

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  1. Mr. William I have a very delicate situation on my hands. I would like to talk to you one on one on the phone. Whatever your fee is $ is not a problem at all. Please send me an email at hysenb2848@gmail.com

    1. Hi,

      I do not offer personal counseling. I do offer a free self-help plan, and support forum.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  2. Ok well my ex and I have been broken up for one month now but in that one month, we have had sex twice. After the second time, we kind of stopped contacting each other. I believe that that is a bad thing until one day he asked for me to come over. I told him that I would but I couldn’t. That was two weeks ago. Also, one day out of the blue, he asked if I had a boyfriend. I simply replied no as I was trying to established the NC rule. I really love him and want him back but I don’t know how to show him that change will come. How do I know if he’s officially done with me?

  3. How are you? I hope your well. Just wanted some advice on a realationship I was in. There was a guy I meet in town and we hit it off good at first but things went down hill and then he left and went to CA. I’m from CT. I did not contact him for 5 months but I contact him to make amends. I did the rebound thing that didn’t work either. He broke up with me and didn’t tell me he was leaving to go to CA. I was so upset about it but I did the NC for 5 months. I contact him letting him know I wrote a book. He was happy for me and wanted me to call him but I couldn’t that day. The next week I tried to call him just once but didn’t call me back. Two weeks later tried to text him, again no responds. What does this mean? Does he miss me? I didn’t do anything wrong, he broke up with me and just left me without saying anything. Please help. I’m in no contact now. Thanks

    1. Hi,

      It doesn’t sound like your ex boyfriend wants to reconnect.

      You are not using the no contact rule correctly if you didn’t send the recommended NC message and follow the rest of the steps in the free plan.

      I suggest you just forget about your ex and focus on getting your life back.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  4. My boyfriend broke up with me over the phone after a year long relationship were we discussed marriage. I was hurt. What a cold way to dump someone after all that. He had just told me how much he wanted to marry me right before this happened. During the call I said I may call back for closure, but thought about it and I am not about to beg or plead someone that is rejecting me – a no win situation! I went into no contact from Day 1 and it has been 8 weeks. He has texted and called me a few times during the first month wanting to explain his side of the story – probably guilt, but I refuse to respond. He stopped trying to get in touch. I am not ready for contact and want to work on myself more. The 3-6 months you mention makes sense to me. I just found your website and I like the NC message, but feel it could backfire as this might be end up being a break in NC that makes me look like I just want to reach out to him and I am NOT ready to connect. Also I think the switch has been flipped he is trying to get me to contact him and has said he understands my decision. In some ways, it feels like I am the one who dumped him. Please advise, I know I can’t join the forum without the letter, but this could spur contact that would not be good for me now.

    1. Gina said:

      Please advise, I know I can’t join the forum without the letter, but this could spur contact that would not be good for me now.

      Hi,

      Sending the correct NC message will not hurt your NC, why?

      Because so far you are just ignoring your ex, and that (in my opinion) is not using NC correctly.

      Your ex is just waiting for you to “cool down”.

      You never put your intentions in writing, this makes a BIG difference.

      You need to make your intentions known by sending the exact NC message as outlined in the free plan.

      You can not join our forum unless you are following the free plan like all the other members, and that means sending the same NC message they did.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

      Gina said:

      The 3-6 months you mention makes sense to me.

      If you read the free plan I recommend 12 months of NC, it works out better in the long run for both people involved, and the majority of success stories support that theory.

      1. Thanks, for the feedback. I plan to mail him his stuff back and will include this in package.

  5. My BF stopped seeing me due to the jealousy argument, (I got jealous…) Then he sent me a message addressing that he loves me but doesn´t feel committed and it is not fair for me to keep seeing each other. Then I sent him a NC 3 weeks ago. He also mentioned that he never had anyone so close in his life…and he is tempted to call me etc.. But after the NC, it has been 3 weeks.. Dont you think he is going to forget me? He is going to let things go? I am very worried..

    :(( Just for your info, I attach a slightly modified message he sent me 4 weeks ago. I sent NC 1 week after. I do not know what to do…

    “I think it’s best for both of us to stop seeing each other. It’s certainly not fair on you to keep meeting up when I know I’m not fully committed to getting back together.
    Anyway, the things that you said to me made me (=My jealousy reacting comments) realise that I was being cruel and it’s wrong for me to keep meeting up with you when I know you’re desperately hoping we’ll get back together.I have been tempted to call you to go out, but I’ve decided to start being responsible and thinking of other people instead of myself. The truth is that I don’t think us getting back together us going to happen. You’re a wonderful girl, beautiful, smart and so, so good, perhaps the kindest person I’ve ever met, but I just don’t feel it’s going to work. I’m starting to think now that my life will be one lived alone and I think I’m happy with that for now – I’ve been on my own for a long time now and that’s just the way things have panned out. I want you to know that you’ve made a real difference in my life (you really have taught me so much) and I know we’ve had some great times together. The truth is that you’re the closest thing I’ve had to the real thing and one of the few women who’ve really persisted with me in the face of all my bad habits and hang ups, and that’s something I won’t forget.I know you’re going to be upset by this and I’m truly sorry, but I know that there are some great things waiting for you out there and you’ve only got to say the word to make them happen, so I know you’ll be fine. But do know you can always count on me if you ever need my help or are in trouble – I know you know that. One final thing, I do love you in my own way and I think you know what I mean by that by the way that I’ve always treated you. I’ll understand if you don’t reply to this so if not.”

    What do you think I should do… He is very insecure and had difficult childhood..

    Am I supposed to just go NC till he contacts? He might be too scared to even contact me…

    1. Hi,

      Did you send him the recommended NC message as outlined in the free plan?

      If not you need to send the correct message for the best results.

      Your ex boyfriend likes the drama and the attention it gets him, he needs to grow up.

      You have to let completely go of the old failed relationship (and your ex) in-order to move past it.

      You can use the no contact rule to reveal his true feelings, and evolve past the break up.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

      1. Yes, I sent it 4 weeks ago… but no response… In 4 weeks from now, it is his Birthday. Do you think I can send him a birthday card from the opposite side of the earth since I am going to be travelling to far far far away?
        Just to say simply Happy Birthday?
        Or is it out of the rule?

        1. Hi,

          The no contact rule means “no contact” at all, including birthday/holiday greetings…read the plan.

          This plan is about getting your life back, not your ex boyfriend.

          You must focus on following the plan, and not on what your ex is doing.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  6. wantmylostloveback

    Hi,

    It’s been almost 2 weeks.Although I admit I fell off the wagon several times in those 2 weeks, but finally, just today, 20th JULY 2011, I made a decision to finally get my ex back! My FORMER SELF back!Not him, but my old nice self!I have been clinging to the relationship and to the person for quite sometime. Although we’ve been in a demolition zone type of relationship for over 4 months, still I wanna believe that there’s still hope and chance. Primarily because he hasn’t said pointblank that it’s over. But his actions speaks louder! But yesterday I tried to make a discussion about us, about the changes, is there still a relationship, does he still loves me and needs me just like before. But what i received is a very sweet reply of ‘WHATEVER’! That ‘whatever’ is a revelation. A revelation to finally change direction, turn my back on him, let go, and finally move on. I don’t know what came into me. From the lovesick puppy dog few months ago, here I am stronger than ever. Your site did a great help! I always do a lot of readings from blog posts, your writings, everything. And i thank you so much! I may not be able to get my ex back, but I am certain that I will get my old nice self back! And that’s the victory I will have in this battle of life! It’s not yet too late, I believe. It’s not my loss, but definitely my gain! Praise God for the revelation. And thanks to you S. Williams! More power to you and to this site!

    1. Hi,

      I know you will be successful using the no contact rule, and the free plan to get your ex back to evolve past your break, and get your life back.

      All you have to do is stick to the plan, and take it one step-at-a-time.

      I wish you success!

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      1. I am confused as to what message to send based on my situation.

        I broke up with him with him while drunk and din’t remember. For the past 3 weeks I have done everything to get him back. Began with the pleading, begging, promise I’ve changed, staking attitude. We became friends with benefits ( he was clear about not seeing me as a girlfriend for him anymore due to me disrespecting him immensely while drunk) yet we slept 3 times, all initiated by me which he reminds me of often.

        I have asked for a last chance various times and he says he just can’t see me the same way after I crossed that line of respect, however I am not willing to degrade myself to the point of being his “prostitute”.

        At the beginning when we spoke of what went down he had told me that he still wanted to be friends but that it was best to not see each other for a while, of course I ignored that and chased him hoping to change his mind till it came to this. It has been 3 weeks since the breakup but we have taken no time apart.

        Now I was thinking the message should go something like “You were right when you said we should not have any contact after what happened….”…..since my intention was not to break up with him and I don’t really remember since I was drunk, and he hasn’t broken up with me, he simply won’t give another chance.

        I know this is off topic, but what are the chance of getting him back when I have hurt his ego and he lives off of his pride? He obviously cares and desires me, I hurt him a lot but now it’s more about his pride then anything else.

        I appreciate any input….yesterday we made love and then he sent me to sleep in the sofa because he didn’t want his family to assume we were working things out….which is what drew the straw for me.

        Our relationship was only 6 months long (although long enough for me t fall in love for the first time)….and we are both in our late 20′s if that is of any importance.

        1. Hi,

          It doesn’t matter what you said when you broke up with him…you are broken up, right?

          I help people use the no contact rule to evolve past a break up, and reveal their ex boyfriend’s true feelings.

          I also help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

          The fastest way to get him back is to get your life back first.

          Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

          PS – Use the recommended NC message (no changes) for someone who broke up with their ex.

  7. wantmylostloveback

    Hi Sir,

    The relationship is 2 years and 4 months, but the last 4 months is a relationship limbo. This last 4 months is like riding in a roller coaster, or being involve in a demolition thing. He hasn’t told me pointblank that it is over, but the way he treats me, ignores me, took me for granted,played with my feelings, simply says that “I DON’T LOVE YOU THE WAY I USED TO”. So, last month I decided to tell him that I can’t take it anymore, and I want my self-worth back (thru text only). But honestly, I am in a limbo if really “I can’t take it anymore” or “I can’t take it anymore, just for now”. I regretted sending that text because he cut contact with me. But after 3 days, he did contact again. But I declined, he pursued, but I am firm. Human weakness, after a week of no contact, I fall of the wagon. I decided to contact him. I should say we were back. But sadly, JUST FOR A WEEK, because of the same old scenario of him taking me for granted. I’m hopeless. But I come across your site and hoping what it can do for me. I WANT TO OBTAIN MY HEART’S DESIRE. But, I am open to the possibility that if it is not God’s will, at least I will get speedy healing. So 3 days ago, I sent him the NC message. He replied the next day saying “WHAT BIG DECISIONS?”. I did not reply after that. Did I do the right thing of holding myself to give a reply? If not, then what should I be telling him to answer his question “WHAT BIG DECISIONS?”?

    I would appreciate greatly if you can give me feedback on this. I am really confused.

    Thank you and more power to you! Godbless!

    1. wantmylostloveback says:

      So 3 days ago, I sent him the NC message. He replied the next day saying “WHAT BIG DECISIONS?”. I did not reply after that. Did I do the right thing of holding myself to give a reply?

      Hi,

      Yes, you did the right thing, and you need to keep on doing the right thing if you want to succeed using the no contact rule.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The quickest way to get your man back and keep him, is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

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