Make Your Ex Boyfriend Come Back – Use This Secret Weapon
If you want your ex boyfriend back you need to learn how to use this secret weapon. It is a secret because most people choose to ignore it, did you? Before you can succeed in getting your ex back you must master this technique first…what is it you ask?
Make Your Ex Boyfriend Come Back Faster And Easier
Do you believe that we are the masters of our own destinies? If you do, then you realize that you must first master yourself, before anything else, correct? What’s the first thing that happened when your ex boyfriend told you he wanted to break up, or just take a break for a while? Suddenly you pictured the rest of your life without him…right? That’s a pretty big conclusion you just jumped to…why? Most people tend to panic first, and listen to reason later. If you can reverse that situation, and not even panic at all, your quest to make your ex boyfriend come back to you will be quick and painless…sound good?
If you can stop yourself from panicking long enough to let that sink in, you’ll start to see the bigger picture. If you want chances or odds, they’re about even at the moment, and they will shift back and fourth, as you do things wrong, and then do them right. But, what if you do them right, right from the beginning? That’s right, the odds will always be in your favor, and get better with time until you get your ex boyfriend back again…excited yet? If you do the opposite of what 99.9% of women in your situation do you will get better results, and win back your ex before they do.
Make Your Ex Boyfriend Come Back The Painless Method
This seems to simple doesn’t it? Well, it is really that is why it is over looked. Most women try throwing themselves at their ex to make their ex boyfriend come back…doesn’t work. Even if it does…not for long. Try to remind them about how much they said they loved you…why? This will only make you sadder, and them more distant. If they promised to love you forever, and you throw that up in their face, you’ll only drive them away. Who wants to be reminded of a broken promise? No, what you want to do is to attract them back. Your panic needs to be replaced with a plan. A plan to keep you on track with daily progress, and self-control…understand?
That was the hard, ineffective, and VERY painful way to make your ex boyfriend come back to you. Now, let’s look at the “painless” method…OK? I had referred to using a “secret weapon” earlier in this article, and now I will tell you what it is, if you haven’t already guessed it. Emotional Self Control E.S.C. This is what will be the difference between success and failure, hard and easy, painful and not so painful ( I know I said painless, but you know what I mean, right?). You must take the time to get your emotions under control first, and then use a plan to work things out and get your ex back. You are going to be light years ahead of all the other women out there in your same position. Use this method to make the pain go away, and make your ex boyfriend come back.
If you have any questions about how to do this (learn E.S.C.), or about your current situation. Please write them in the comment box below, and I will answer them ASAP. I just want to ask you one more question; Fast and easy, quick and painless…or slow, hard, and very painful, which method would you prefer to use to make your ex boyfriend come back? Let me know what I can do to help you get your ex back?
Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?
My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people for more than 3 years to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.
If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free plan to get your ex back fast, and start getting your life back today. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.
Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.
If this article was useful or helpful to you in anyway, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.
Until next time,
S. Williams
http://www.howtogetyourexbackfast.com
Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.
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Hi Jourden,
Has he mentioned getting back together? The best thing to do is follow a good plan, and I can recommend one right here.
The statement “if it’s meant to be, then we will be together” sounds pretty vague to me.
Be careful that he only wants to get back together for sex purposes, and not for real(kind of like having his cake and eat it too).
You must take control of the situation (correctly) to find out what his true intentions are…understand?
Your best chance for success is to follow a plan right now before you make any big mistakes, and set yourself back a few months.
I hope this helped.
Take Care,
S. Williams
Hello,
So here is the deal, me and my boyfriend broke up about two months ago and i will admit that at first i was desperate oh boy, i called i cried i txt him i was sad and just wanted it to all be a dream, well then we stopped talking for a while and one day out of the blue he txt me, and we have been talking almost everyday now, he still knows that i want him back and i am still pretty emotional about it, i love him very much three years is a long time. And, i don’t know what to do, he says if it’s meant to be we will get mach together, but i don’t know i am scared and i really do believe we are meant to be, i just don’t know what steps to take? Help please
ok my situation is kinda complicated and i dont know what to do…me and my ex broke up 3 months ago…he told me he really likes me and wants to b with me but its not goin anywhere..mind u thngs were goin great for like a month..well he sed he wanted to be friends and we still talked almost everyday..we still c eachother alot and about70 percent of the time we see eachother we do hookup..even tho he has told me we shouldnt …he tex me or calls me back wen he says and over these few months we hav gotten to kno eachother more and i think we both see that we are more alike then either of us thought..I have the magic of making up but i dont know what to do what should i do weve been getting along so great dont know what to do
hello there,
i am in the same situation and i was about to buy the magic of making up but not sure about it.. is it that good? what’s the essence of it?
are u back with your ex.
i have to say that it’s true, begging, crying doesn’t work at all, if anything it send the boys the opposite way. strange how like can be. it tells me that being sincere doesn’t really pay off,
what do you think
H
Hi,
The essence of what I teach people here is not how to get their ex back, but how to get their life back first.
All your questions will be answered by reading the free plan, and following ALL the steps.
Take Care,
S.W.
P.S. Buying books won’t help if you don’t have a plan, and a support system to help you. The free plan gives people both things.
Hi Shay,
If you’re getting along great, why change anything?
Let me answer that…you’re not happy with the relationship you have now, and want more, right?
He is having his cake, and eating it too. (hooking up when he wants without any commitment)
If you want more out of this relationship, you have to break this old one, and come back later, and start a new one.
Have you talked to him about becoming more committed to each other?
If you have, and he is avoiding it, or telling you if it was meant to be then it will be, then start using the plan in the book…and stick to it.
Start using no contact, just tell him you need some time to think about things, and you”ll contact him in a month or so.
Or…
You can just let things keep going the way they are.
After all you’re getting along so well.
It’s all laid out in the book, and it works.
I recently had a problem with my Blog, and had to rebuild it, from scratch.
I had a success stories page on my old Blog, and I am going to rebuild it on this one as soon as I can.
When you get a chance to read it you will see many people had the same doubts about using NC, and the plan in the book, but it worked for them, and it will for you too.
The choice is yours, and I am here to help.
Take Care,
S. Williams
hey there,
I need some help,
i have got the impression that my ex boyfriend is trying to contact me after a whole year not being in contact. I’ve followed some of the advice of not being emotional etc but it’s hard.
have you got more tips to give me and by the way why being sincere and honest doesn’t work, it goes against the basic of life of being nice to one another, no?
It’s strange
H
Hi,
This is covered in the last stage of the free plan…Reconnection.
Take Care,
S.W.
I filed for divorce after a few years of my husband distancing himself from me, acting like a single man and not sharing in the parenting responsibilites, and ultimately (the straw that broke the camels back), finding out he was involved with some young girl at work (he is 38). We have four young sons. He refuses to admit to the relationship (it is on film), is very defensive and angry, and trying more to protect and shield his reputation (no one at work knows), then figuring out his part in any of this. I would love to reconcile if he would take accountability and respnsibility for his choices, and WANT to come nack to this relationship. We only communicate with email about the kids. What advice do you have for me?
Hi Nicole,
I have to ask…how did you get your husband on film?
If your divorce isn’t final…
Have you tried marriage counseling?
You see I can help you with the “attracting him back” part of your problem, but I can’t do much for the “accountability and responsibility.”
He has to make a conscious decision to change, and then do it…understand?
My advice would be if you don’t want to divorce him, then don’t and try to work things out first…if you still love him, divorce should be your last resort.
I know it’s hard, but believe me I deal with a lot of lonely broken hearted people daily, and you don’t want to go there…really you don’t.
Marriage counseling would be the first step.
You can join my newsletter for more free advice, and maybe that will help you understand how men and women really relate to eachother.
Instead of Algebra, they should have been teaching how relationships work back in high school…maybe the divorce rate wouldn’t be so high.
I hope this helped, and I really hope you and your husband can work things out…especially for your boys sake, as well as your own.
Take Care,
S. Williams
Hi,
My boyfriend broke up with me 4 months ago after 3 yrs of relationship (2 yrs living together then 1 yr in different country).
We brokeup bcoz i wanted to get married soon for my parents concerns but he wanted 3-4 yrs with out any such commitment and he told me to move on if i cant wait.Then he said he doesnt feel as much committed as i am in relationship. He was not seeing anyone else and we were great together even after long distance but his family was against this relationship.I cried a lot and begged him to meet me once but he didnt.I was miserable but i had no choice but to live with it.
After 1.5 months of break up he called me and wanted to be friends, I accepted. About 10 days we were fine and i didnt bring up the past relation. During this time i felt he just wanted to get me the same way as i was but without any strings attached. It hurt me and i brokedown emotionally and told him I cant be frds.He didnt contact after that. After a month i called him he was polite and concerned but he didnt called me back. So i texted him which he was replying only to the point. I got pissed and stopped texting as well.
Then after 15 days he texted me to ask if am doing alrite and told abt his success at work and said he just wanted to know if I am alrite and he will catch with me later.I congratulated him and since i was already pissed at him I replied even if i am not alrite he would be the last person to know. he replied sorry and bye. I replied again congratulating him on his success and wished him luck for future.
I love him a lot but i didnt like the way he treated me during the breakup.I want the same him,who use to love me a lot.Do i have any chance to win him back?? Did i already pushed him away by rude reply??Is he really changed so much and will never come back?? please advice.
wht shd i do??
thx a lot
Hi Anna,
Nothing you did would make it impossible to get your ex boyfriend back.
I would stop contacting him until you learn how to do it correctly…OK?
Your best chance to win him back is to get the book, and start reading about, and following the plan.
You will learn what went wrong, and how to fix it…sound good?
The faster you act, the quicker you will win him back.
I look forward to working with you to get your ex boyfriend back again.
Take Care,
S. Williams
thanks for quick response ..
So i shouldnt say anything to him now for my straight reply?
I feel even if we become friends after reading this book I wont be able to get more as he himself wants to be just friends.
Does this book has something for long distance relations too?
Will this books plan work for my specific case..I already bought one book and got some help but not the exact plan.
Hi Anna,
You’re Welcome!
A big part of the plan is to use no contact…are you willing to do that?
Long distance relationships are basically the same as regular relationships, except you are not together as much.
Part of this plan will require meeting face to face after about a month or so.
Will you be able to do that?
Your attitude must be positive for any plan to work…understand?
It is very hard for me to be able to predict if your specific case is different from everyone else’s.
All I can tell you is if you buy the book, and it doesn’t help you, just request a refund.
Did the other book offer you free personal support like I do?
To get on my private personal support email list, make sure you follow the directions on this site, and then forward me a copy of your clickbank receipt…it’s that simple.
You can also join my free newsletter for more free relationship advice.
Take Care,
S. Williams
Hi,
I already used no contact for 4 months but inbetween it was on and off talking. I am ok to do it again if it helps.
My ex is coming back after a month but i cant be sure that he will meet me. last time he came he broke off over mails/chat and never met. Shall i ask him to meet me?
thanks
Hi Anna,
There is a lot more to no contact, then not contacting your ex…understand?
There are steps to take during the no contact period, to prepare yourself for the “reconnection” stage.
If you do this correctly he will want to see you.
If you want to succeed you need to follow a proven plan.
I am not sure you fully understand how to use no contact, judging from your statement; “I already used no contact for 4 months but inbetween it was on and off talking. ”
You did not use no contact correctly if you were “talking on and off”…understand?
I can help you, but you need to have a good plan, if you’re really serious about Winning Back Your Ex Boyfriend.
I am waiting to help you, when you’re ready.
Take Care,
S. Williams
Okay, so here is my story. I met this guy online & we immediately hit it off. We had a ton in common & could talk for hours. I’m 5 years older than he is & at the beginning, he was initiating & courting as a guy should do. He kept asking me to initiate more (i.e., calling, texting, etc.) I told him I’m very traditional when it comes to dating, but because it was important to him, I would make an effort to do so. We had not had the exclusivity talk, nor had we had sex. But, we were talking almost every day & seeing each other every weekend & some nights during the week. Almost a month ago, we had a date & had a great time. The next morning, I woke up & had a sweet text msg from him that he’d sent me after our date…but I had already fallen asleep. I responded to the text & then sent him another one later in the day about some band he liked. He never responded. I didn’t hear from him that night (Fri) and so on Sat afternoon, I sent him another text (trying to initiate like he’d asked) and it took him almost 9 hours to respond to. He responded that he’d been out with his family and would give me a call the next day. However, when I got home that night, I saw that he was surfing around on the dating site where we met. It pissed me off because instead of calling me…he chose to troll around on this site looking for other women. I sent him a response to his text saying, “Call me crazy, but I just don’t sense that you’re that into me. If so…it’s ok…but you just need to let me know as I don’t want to be led on.” Well that started WWIII.
He didn’t respond to the text and the next morning, I woke up regretting the text. I sent him an email and apologized, but told him that I had been receiving some mixed messages from him and that if the chemistry wasn’t there for him…then he just needed to let me know. His response…”That text really pissed me off…we can talk about this later.” I didn’t talk to him that night, and so the next day I sent him another email and told him that I was sorry that I pissed him off, but that I was pissed off too. He wants me to take more initiative…and when I do, he doesn’t respond. I told him that if he still wants to play the field…that is fine…I get it (b/c he’s much younger)…but that I would need to excuse myself from this relationship because that doesn’t work for me. I told him that I really liked him and wanted to continue dating him, but not if he’s interested in dating a lot of other women. He responded that he really liked me too and wanted to continue dating, but didn’t want to jump into a relationship just because there was the opportunity to do so. I agreed with him and told him that I wanted to make sure that we were a good match as well before “defining” anything…however, my experience tells me that it’s hard to build something with someone when you’re still on dating sites looking for someone else.
I thought we had worked through everything as he called me a few times later that week. However, that following Friday, I received an email from him telling me that he’s been doing a lot of thinking and he thinks its best that we just be friends and see where things may go in the future. He went on to say that he thinks I’m very attractive, smart, and have a ton to offer. He tells me that I’ve been such a great addition to his life and that he REALLY wants me to remain in his life and he asked if we could be friends.
Because this is not my first experience with this sort of thing…I waited a few hours to respond, and I sent him an email back totally agreeing with him. I told him that I’ve been thinking the same thing and that as much as I hoped thing would work out between us, I can now see that we’re much better off as just friends. I told him that I wish him the best and that there are no hard feelings. He IMMEDIATELY responded to this email and said, “Thanks for making this so easy. I really appreciate it. And by the way…you never know, maybe at some point it’ll happen between the two of us. I really, really do want to remain friends and want you to be a part of my life.”
I didn’t respond after that. A week later, I was on Facebook. I had posted some pictures from the night before when I went out with some friends. He’s a friend on my page and he started IM’ing me. It was just a casual conversation, but there was a pic of me with this guy and he asked if I had already met someone else. I told him no, that he was just a friend. He then re-emphasized that he wanted to be friends and suggested that we get together soon and hang out. I just said, “yeah, sure…let me know.” Since our breakup, he has been back on the dating website incessantly. I have since tried to start moving on with my life. I’ve had a few dates and this past Tuesday, I accidentally (I swear it was an accident) sent him a text. It was actually supposed to be sent to the guy I had a date with on Sat night. It said, “Hi there…just got ur voice mail…I’m in an all day meeting…but I’ll be around later tonight if you want to chat! I had a blast on Sat nite too & can’t wait to see u tomorrow…what time should I expect you??” After I sent it…I realized that I had selected the wrong name (damn iPhone). So I sent a follow up text and said, “OMG…I was sending that to someone else & accidentally hit ur name since it is above theirs in my contacts…I’m so sorry! BTW…you were so right about everything. Something real exciting has happened recently…I have to go for now, but I’ll tell you about it soon! Hope you’re doing great!” He responded by saying, “LOL…I was wondering if I had amnesia or something.” I didn’t respond after that.
Then, this past Thursday, I posted a funny pic on my Facebook page and he IMMEDIATELY made a comment about the picture. Another friend also made a comment and I responded to my friend’s comment, but not my ex’s as I am trying to not give him any attention so that he will hopefully miss me and want to give our relationship another chance.
I don’t feel as though I have chased after him, I have remained as positive as possible, and I have been in “no contact,” with the exception of the inadvertent text message. I feel like I’m doing everything I’m supposed to be doing…however, I’m still not seeing him returning to me. He is still in my heart and I would like nothing more but to have him come back and want to give us another chance. It’s been almost a month since we’ve broken up and because we didn’t date for very long (2 1/2 months) I’m not sure if there is still a chance of reconciliation.
I would like to get your take on this situation and ask what advice might you have for me in how I can possibly turn things around for us??
Thanks
Hi Angie,
It is really hard to be “friends” with your ex, and win them back as more than friends.
You will need to get serious about using no contact correctly.
It seems to me that he wants to keep you on the “hook’ because he wants to be more than friends, but because you stay in touch so much, he knows you’re waiting for him.
As long as he feels that he isn’t losing you, he will continue to do what he is doing.
Sometime traditions need to be thrown out the window, and if you really want him back you”ll need to be more like he asked to you be in your past relationship.
I would focus on that as well while you’re using no contact.
You don’t want to be in a relationship if you can’t be yourself…right?
Oh BTW 5 years is not a big age difference, so don’t worry about that either.
Anything is possible if you want it bad enough, but are you willing to change for him?
You can find more advice on my free newsletter, and learn how to get your ex boyfriend back for good.
Let me know if you have anymore questions…OK?
Take Care,
S. Williams
So, how exactly do I use no contact correctly? And how do I make him feel as though he is losing me so that he will want me back? I have not initiated contact with him. When he posted a comment on my Facebook page, I did not acknowledge it. I have gone out on dates with other guys…which he is now aware of due to the inadvertent text message. I have not begged, cried, pleaded with him to take me back. My status updates on my Facebook have all been positive, outgoing, etc., primarily because I’m a positive, outgoing person…but also, because I don’t want him to think I’m miserable without him.
I’ve read every self help book there is out there on how to get back with an ex and I feel like for the most part…I’ve done everything the books have suggested. So, now I guess I’m looking for step-by-step instructions based on my particular situation. What do I need to do exactly to turn this situation around?? I’m completely at a loss…
Thanks
Hi Angie,
The first step is to just politely ignore his communications, unless it is work related, or you share a child together.
I don’t believe that any of this applies to your situation, so just be polite, and if he contacts you, just reply once the first time, and tell him you need some time to think over some personal matters, and would appreciate it if you could have some space.
After that just do not reply to his messages, this will make him start to think that you’re moving on, and he just might lose you for good.
If you see him in public just say hi, and smile, and just keep on moving, do not get pulled into a long conversation and talk about your personal life.
Same thing for text, emails, phone calls…etc.
Once your behavior changes towards him he”ll change the way he thinks about you…maybe you won’t be there when he decides it’s time to come back.
Here it comes…
But won’t he think I moved on, and then move on himself?
If he moves on…he was never coming back.
I really doubt it because he so much wants to remain “friends”, and keep you in his life…right?
If he moves on then you have closure, and can move on yourself.
The “key” to really being successful is developing very strong emotional control, so you don’t “cave” on sticking with no contact…understand?
You have to be strong, if you want to find out the truth…
Is he coming back, or is he leading me on?
Did you join my newsletter yet?
It has a lot of great information, delivered twice a week.
I hope I cleared up what no contact is about, although there is so much more to it, too much to cover in this comment box.
If you’re interested I can recommend the plan that personally support.
It has helped a lot of people learn how to correctly use the no contact rule to get their ex back.
Take Care,
S. Williams
Yes, I am interested in “the plan” that you personally support…please provide more details.
Hi Angie,
You can read more about it here:
Get my Ex Boyfriend Back
I’ve already purchased and read this book. Perhaps I need to read it again!
Hi Angie,
Yes…
If you need a “step by step plan” you will not find a better one.
If you have any more questions, give me a shout…OK?
Take Care,
S. Williams
How can I get the step-by-step plan without purchasing the book all over again? I don’t need the book…just the step-by-step plan. Is there a way to just purchase that part?
Hi Angie,
I’m afraid I don’t understand your question.
The step by step plan is in the book, if you want my personal email support you will need to become my customer.
If you already have the book you can request a refund here, and then buy it from me here.
Other than that you can continue to ask me questions on my Blog…OK?
Take Care,
S. Williams
Ok so can u tell me what u think is going on…me an my ex have been broken up for 3 mths we have never lost contact…we broke up because he said he doesnt see us goin anywhere we were just together 5 mths but we were inserperable and got really close really fast(we were actually broke up during that time because he wasnt ready for a realationship and had went back to dating) and he said we were supposed to be just dating but we were spending alot of time together and talking everyday…now as i was sayin before we havbt lost contact we still talk alot go to dinner movies etc…we have sex…he helps me with bills etc when i need it and vice versa…when we are together it seems like we are actually together he still looks at me the same..flirts and stuff like that…but i still dont think he wants a official relationship i do worry alot about losing him…im not sure how to take it im not sure what he wants things have been good during our “friendship” weve been talkn about different thinggs and actually learning that we have alot more in common then we both thought and it seems like we have been gettin closer what do you think about this what should i do
Hi Shavon,
If you’re happy with this situation, I wouldn’t do anything just enjoy it for what it is…dates, and sex.
If you want more, than you are going to have to work for it.
I would suggest using no contact to draw out his true feelings for you.
If he can have his cake and eat it too…why should he make a choice?
But, you’re afraid to use no contact because you might lose him, right?
Well, you can not win, if you’re afraid to lose.
I would suggest that if you want more from this relationship, you need to follow a plan of action.
The choice is yours, keep things the way they are and hope for the best, or use no contact and risk losing him.
If he really doesn’t ever want to get serious with you, aren’t you just wasting your time with him?
Are you brave enough to find out the truth?
Take Care,
S. Williams
ok so my situation is kind of different, me and my ex boyfriend live together so its heard to use the no contact rule…we have only been broken up for about 2-3 weeks now, he broke up with me because i would always question him about everything and i mean everything I never trusted. Iv always had trust issues and i know what i need to do to work on them but how do i show him that? one min hes nice and the next hes acting so different why is he acting like that? do i still have a chance to fix things with him? if so what can i do to get him back?
Hi Mandy,
You can still use no contact even if you live together.
Just keep your personal life to yourself, and only talk about things you need to discuss, like rent, and the bills you share together…other than that, just keep to yourself.
To learn more about this take a look at:
How To Win My Ex Boyfriend Back
Take Care,
S. Williams
First, let me thank you for publishing this blog and taking the time to personally answer questions.
I believe that it is possible for me to get back with my ex boyfriend. Sigh! It seems like this in turning into an on-again, off-again relationship. I broke up with him in 2008. We got back together but now I understand that it was a “premature reconciliation”. He broke up with me April 2009. I broke contact to wish him Happy Birthday in late 2009. After a couple of text messages, I went no contact again.
My relationship with this man was my epiphany. Because of the pain the pain that I experienced due to the breakup, I started to become more self-aware. At first, I blamed him for the relationship’s failure but came to realize that I also had a part in the relationship’s demise.
Okay, after 6 additional months of no contact, I got back in contact with him on May 29th through email. After three weeks, we then moved on to texting.
Unfortunately, I am the only one initiating contact. I contact him every week or two just to say hello and keep the lines of communication open. He flirts with me and I flirt right back with him. The emails are always brief.
After one month, I bought up the idea of a light lunch. No response.
I let two weeks pass and sent him a flirty email. He then said that we could do dinner. The whole point of the dinner is to see if we still have the chemistry that we used to have.
I’m quite nervous about the dinner. I’m not worried about sleeping with him on our first date. I didn’t when we started dating initially and I wont do so now.
I am worried because I am the only one initiating contact, at this time. It seems that my interest level is much higher than his is. I am trying to stay in control of my emotions and I’m also attempting to keep my expectations in check.
This is the first man that I’ve ever attempted to reconcile with. I’ve tried to forget about this man but it’s not happening. I’ve swallowed my pride and want to attempt this reconciliation. I don’t want to look back with any regrets.
I have high hopes that we will reconcile but I am also at a point that I believe that I can move on with no regrets if it doesn’t happen. Again, thank you for all that you do for us.
Okay, here’s my confusing situation…y boyfriend and I been together for almost 4 yrs. We’ve been together as well for that long. Earlier last month we’ve been having issues about some serious stuff ( he wanted to have sex with some other girls or have a threesome w/ me and the other girl ) I told him that’s something that I need to think about and it’s not that easy to do. I honestly want to have a honest , normal relationship and while we had our up and down on that situation, my ex boyfriend started talking to me out of nowhere, he asked if I’m getting married anytime soon and I just told him about the issue me and my current bf having.. And I don’t think it’s gonna workout and I m gonna break it up some how.then my ex start telling me I shouldn’t agree to do what my bf tells me to do bc I’m better that that and blah blah…. And he said I still like you, whenever you break up I’m down to date you again. The think is I told him I like him too just bc he said he liked me but I may have
gave him the wrong imperission, the truth is I told him we can hangout as friendsbut I don’t want to hook up with him, I need some times for myself bc I was in a bad situation. He freaked out and got mad at first as soon as I said, that and said “this world is a fucked up place and I’m going to sleep.” but less than a five minutes he came back and said he understand where I’m coming from and there would not be any pressure to do so but he’ll be there for me as a right now as a buddy. We talk every now on. He Sent me a friend request on facebook as well. The thing is I kinda feel bad for him I’m in a situation that I don’t know where this road would take me. I don’t want to make any promises and nor want to waist his time waiting for me till I break up with my current bf then start dating me. When I take to him I don’t talk about dating I only talk as a friends, bc I don’t think I have athe sane feeling for him as I used to have when we started dating while back. My current boyfriend apologized and begged me to not leave him he made a huge mistake he even brought something like that up and I said I’m happy that u told me instead of doing something behinde my back and everything went back to normal he improved and he admitted that he loves me to death and we do anything for bc im the only one for him and i trust him. . Bit I just don’t know what to tell my ex now. Bc he probably thinks either I’m trying to keep him around even I told him I’m not trying to hookup with him bc I think it’s wired and not right, or he’s just waiting for me to break up with my current bf, so he can ask me out again. But I do t know how to tell him that even if I become single I don’t think it’s a good idea for me and him get back together bc I only feel like being friends, and nothing else. I need a suggestion how to tell him that so he would not waste his time for me….
Rosemov says:
Hi,
Just tell him what you just wrote to me, be honest.
You are not interested in dating him, but if he wants to be friends you are open to that.
If he acts like an asshole, just ignore him, and do not remain friends with him anymore…make sense?
Honesty is always the best policy.
Take Care,
S.W.
I am really confused as to if there is any hope for this relationship. I have been on again off again for the past five years. This past time I broke up with him after becoming continually stressed with things going on at home. A week later he contacted me saying “im sorry, i hope you are okay” and the following three weeks was me calling him saying i needed him and finally giving him an ultimatum of being with me or not. He chose not.
A couple of months went by and I added him on facebook. I also happened to run into him at the bank, and pretty soon he started inviting me over. I declined the first couple of times, but I went over to drink the other night. I played it really cool, maybe too cool. I was really forward with him and mentioned having sex with other guys. He started crying and asked “what do you want me to do” and i said “i dont know, just have sex with me” We did end up having sex and he kept crying and showed me letters I used to write him and pictures of us.
I read the letters and asked “so can we be together” with no answer.
When I left I asked again and he said “i dont know” and i said “what do you mean you dont know? You did last night” and he said “Really?” and smirked and left to work. I then called him last night and confessed my love to him, and that i was sorry, and if we would ever be together again. He said “i dont know, you cant come into my life so quickly and expect me to know right away” He admitted that he still loved me and cared about me but he kept on saying “why dont you just go fuck some other guys?” He also mentioned that he had been talking to another girl, and I’m so scared he will start dating her and completely get over me. I have already established the no contact rule, and I know I need to work on myself before I can get him back, but I just want to know if it will still work on him if I already ruined the first reunion and if he does end up dating another girl
Listen…
You are pissing me off Jane.
Don’t keep posting on my Blog using different names.
I gave you good advice…use , or hit the fucking road.
I am a real busy man.
Take Care,
S.W.
Scott,
After following your plan and three months of NC, I am meeting up with my ex next week. The call went well and he seemed happy to hear from me.
The plan is to stay non-personal in the short meeting and just enjoy catching up. But, what do you do if your ex tells you that he’s started seeing someone?
Thanks.
Turtle
Hi,
Just change the subject saying; “we are not here to talk about our personal lives, let’s just keep it light…OK?”
If you don’t think you can hear something like that without losing control…you are NOT ready to reconnect.
It sounds like you have been focusing too much on getting your ex back, and not on getting your life back.
That will screw up yours/his personal evolution.
This plan has, and always will be about getting your life back…not your ex, understand?
Apparently not.
Take Care,
S.W.
She left 4months ago an moved to another state, been NC for 2months now. I never begged or asked her to stay (but I did make it clear I would move with her if she wanted me to), I respected her wishes when she said she wanted to go and needed some space and to take a break. The first two months only had a handful of conversations. She was cold and it was tough, mostly because they day she left me she said she loved me and that we would get through this. Now she lives 2,000miles away and has a new bf I’m told, but she asked about me recently and how I was doing. People told her I’m diong great. The thing is I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, NC, lost 15lbs, go out with friends, even went on two dates….but I still love her deeply. I can’t get over that I will never see her again, and it kills me. I feel like she abandonded me and just erased me from her life, when we had such a great relationship. She could never give me a reason for leaving me other than she just didn’t want a relationship and needed some space, but now she’s with some new guy? I feel so hurt but won’t talk to her, is she going to realize she made a mistake someday. I loved her with all my heart and the day she left we were both crying in each others arms and now it’s like I don’t even know her. It’s awful. It’s been 4months since I last seen her an 2 since we last spoke. I feel dumb for wanting her to realize and come back to me.
Hi,
I don’t know if you’re following the free plan (NC), or not.
If you are following the free plan you should know it is NOT about getting your ex girlfriend back, it is about getting your life back.
You MUST get your life back first, focus on that, not about how to get your ex girlfriend back, and you will start to see things turn around for you, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi,there’s this guy I’ve bn seeing for a while now. Thing is, we always fight without actually enjoying the relationship. 3mths ago we had a major fight and we stopped talking or seeing. I miss him and I’ve bn calling him lately. He says we’re still together but that things won’t be different until I change. I don’t think I’m the problem though. What should I do?
Hi,
I can help you get over the break up and get your life back…focus on that first, and then worry about your ex boyfriend later.
Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.
Take Care,
S.W.
I was seeing this guy for about 8 months and we have known eachother for about a year now. He told me everyday that he loved me and that i was perfect for him. We are both 18 and he was pretty much my first boyfriend. I loved him so much and I could tell he loved me. Everything was going fine Until a couple days before we broke up he acted weird and I asked him if he wanted to be with me and he told me that he didn’t know what he wanted anymore so I asked him to meet up with me the next day and he agreed. So we met up and we barely talked at first, then he had to go so I walked him home and we were talking like old times and he had his arm around me. When we got to his house he hugged me and then made out with me . Then he said “I’m gonna miss you” and walked away. I texted him the next day saying “so I guess you sill don’t know what you want?” and got no reply. I haven’t talked to him since except 2 days ago when I sent him a message On myspace saying I hope things are going good and that i thought this was good for us. He still has me on his top friends and it still says in a relatioship but he deleted me off facebook. I’m just really confused. I love him and want him back and it’s only been a month with NC. Do you think he will come back?
Hi,
If you want to get your life back, and reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings for you…follow the free plan.
Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.
Take Care,
Scott
so me and my ex have been broken up for a week now. and honestly hes confusing me. he says hes not in love with me but he loves me. he also says that he has the exact same feeling for me but he just doesn’t want to be my bf. we’ve broken up once before(but it only lasted 6hrs before he begged me to take him back), im afraid that hell find someone else before i get the chance to finish the NC thing.(he also wants to be fwb but i dont think im gonna do that) so what im asking is whats his real feelings? how can i get him back fast and STAY together?
Hi,
Unless you want to keep breaking up and getting back together, and then repeating the same cycle over and over again, you need to change what you’re doing, right?
As long as you worry about getting your ex back, you won’t personally evolve past the break up and get your life back, and until you get your life back, you won’t be happy.
Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the Steps.
Take Care,
S.W.
I recently was dumped by my boyfriend of 1 year (4 days before our one year anniversary). He heavily pursued me and couldn’t get enough of me for the first 5 months of our relationship. We planned to move in together as we both moved East together, and things had very serious intentions. I was invited everywhere, we both met each others families regularly, and all our friends knew and spoke about how this relationship was different then either of us had ever felt before. When we arrived on the east coast, I had left a job to freelance and he was beginning a new high-pressure job with a family business. On his first day of work, I felt something was wrong and we had a discussion in which he admitted that he didn’t want to live together anymore. His reasons (that he told me) was that he was terrified of losing me if something went wrong and that he didn’t know how to balance the priority of having to focus 300% on his career and his desire to always put me first. He was very emotional and cried, stating he was afraid I would leave him. It was obvious to me that all the change was a real shock to him and he became frightened. From this point on things changed, and we split our time between two apartments. He travelled frequently, I found myself “depending” on him more and more for my entertainment and happiness without knowing what I was doing. He began wrestling more and more with the fact that he was in “the real world” now and regressed by needing more and more time with his college friends on his weekends. He still kept in contact and was as devoted as ever emotionally, but I could feel the shift in his ability to face our commitment and due to my growing unhappiness. As time passed and we spent less time together, I felt we were growing apart. Not emotionally, but literally in time and space. As my unhappiness grew, the less he wanted to include me and the more I became someone he just came home to. This went on for several months. He would always see it, we would discuss it tentatively and optimistically (but not in depth enough to bring relief) and say things would be better and that this was just a rough patch. Things would be ok. As you can imagine, we had less fun together and it was much less light hearted with all the pressure building up. Emotionally, our feelings remained the same but there was an unspoken trouble. Each time the issue was raised, even whether or not we would/should continue together, the answer was that it was natural and would pass as we adjusted. Family, work and life continued to merge together.
The week before our breakup had been spent with his mother, him telling me it was a good chance for me to bond with her, him sitting with my family, etc. Before memorial day I had a bad night where I was stressed about work. I was brooding, quiet and preoccupied. His frustration in not being able to relax me was tangible. The next day on a car ride he admitted that he was having questions about being able to handle the pressure of making me happy and balancing his career. He said he felt the same way, and had since we met, and that it wasn’t a change of heart. We had a long emotional chat, both of us cried, and after a small breather he retracted his statement and said he was excited to work it out. It was a “good thing” we had talked he said, we discussed a plan and talked about WHY things were happening. I felt completely relieved and he mentioned that he could feel the change for the better caused by our honest discussion. He said he didn’t need to think anymore. We said goodbye and went to spend the long weekend apart with our plans. I heard from him normally that night, but the next day he started dropping off my radar. Over the long weekend I gave him a lot of space, contacting him once a day in a light-hearted manner just to keep in touch. He never initiated, which is unusual. By the end of the weekend I asked him what was going on. I told him I was happy we had our conversation the week before, that I was excited to make changes and that his words and our chat had a big impact on me. He said that “to be honest” he was still thinking things over. After a confirmation/small repeat of the things I had said in our chat the week before, I told him I was not going to contact him to give him the time and space to think it over. He waited 2.5 days after the weekend apart before calling me and asking to come by that night to chat.
4 days before our one year anniversary, he ended things with me. When he arrived, he told me he couldn’t balance everything. He had brought most (not all, perhaps by accident) of my stuff and began taking his things. He cited that we hadn’t been happy, he still felt the same, but that he just couldn’t handle the pressure. He kept using phrases like “wanting to keep the door open” and how he “couldn’t bear to have me hate him” if things continued and I remained unhappy. He referenced his upcoming travel (the majority of 2 months during this summer, beginning one week from the conversation) and his fear that I would be miserable. He kept stating how he didn’t want to lose me in his life, that I was the most amazing woman he had ever met, there was no one like me, etc. and that if it was “meant to be it will be”. He was so emotional that his face was shaking not to cry and he hugged me twice. We kissed once. He said that he wanted to be friends (to which I said no and he said he would assume I didn’t mean that) and that he would call me when he was back from his trip, I would see him again (he said that several times) and we would do coffee or lunch. I “discussed” with him a little and made it obvious I did not agree with his reasoning, as I had meant what I had said in the previous convo and was already well on the way to regain my happiness, independence, and fun mood. Of course, the more I said the more he resisted and said “he had made up his mind”.
The day after the breakup, in the evening, he texted me asking if he could come by to pick up his spare car key the next day as he was selling his car. I had known about him wanting to make this sale, so the reason was not fabricated. I waited until the next AM to respond simple “sure what time”. He wrote back a time range, and said he would also bring a jacket I had left at his place. That he would call me when he got to my area. I wrote back (in order to take control) a specific time within his range and said only “3 works”.
He called me when he was 5 minutes out from my apartment, and began talking as he would have updated me in our relationship (minus the pet names etc). Telling me in detail about his work plans, weekend plans, referencing his family, discussing the potential sale of his car that day, etc. He chatted for about 3-4 minutes, joking and easily, asking me how I was and getting a simple “good but super busy” type general answer. I was pleasant, happy and let him lead the convo completely. He mentioned that he had forgotten one or two things of mine to bring me, and said either “that at least he gets to see me” or “would get to see me again”. As he neared the subject of his arrival, I told him I had another call to end the convo first but that I would bring down the key when he arrived and to call me. (There is no street parking so that was an unfortunate necessity). I made sure to look amazing, had changed my hair color, lost weight in our time apart that he hadn’t really seen during the 30 minute breakup, and wanted to be sure I looked good. I came down and handed him his things, waited for him to hand me mine, and said bye and walked away. I was composed and not rude or cold, but also evidently not interested in discussing or intending to stand around to chat.
Our breakup was 11 days ago, and this exchange was 8 days ago. I did not initiate contact once and have adapted the no contact rule since the breakup, only responding when I knew he needed to pick something up from me to conduct a transaction. 3 days ago, 5 days after our last interaction, he left on an international trip until the end of the month.
Since then, I have followed all the steps in The Magic of Making Up and haven’t broken the NC rule at all. I went out and got my motorcycle license, got accepted to a new graduate school program, went out with friends, and even used the facebook trick of hinting that a guy might be interested on my wall. I feel great, rational and that I’ve added value to myself/returned to the fun person he met (to demonstrate that the days of no fun/moping are over) for MYSELF and not “for him”.
Please help! Are there any special circumstances related to him traveling that might cause me to need to extend my NC time? Right now my plan is to wait until he returns from the trip, as he said he would contact me after he got back. Generally, he is very level headed and does exactly what he says. I know that our emotional bond and his attachment was very serious and deep. I want to be sure I handle this in a way that permanently gets me back to independence, confidence, happiness and being the pursued instead of the girl that sits at home needing him! I am working hard to not just demonstrate that, be really BE that and am doing great! Am I missing anything?
Hi,
There really isn’t a plan outlined in the book The Magic of Making up for correctly using the no contact rule, that’s why I created the free plan.
For the best results use the free plan as your step-by-step NC guide, and MOMU as your relationship adviser.
I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.
Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back.
Take this one day at a time, do not try to look too far ahead.
As you emotionally evolve past the failed relationship, the answers will come to you.
Be patient.
Thank you for writing.
Take Care,
S.W.
Please help me…
I was in a 6 month relationship with someone who was great in every sense. My insecurities led to get drunk and curse him out. the third time I broke it off with him and literally told me he was not a man, this was days before he had a big surprise planned for my birthday. 4 days later I called him since i didn’t remember what I had said. he told me I left him dry inside. hurt him so much when all he did was love me. He said he wants us to be friend but in the future and that is best to not have any contact. This happened 3 weeks ago……..Since then I have cried begged apologize and sore I have changed and will never speak without thinking first. At first he ignored me and told me all was said…..since then we have made love once. But I have told him him it will not repeat since I don’t want to be friend with benefits. he told me either. He says he cares for me but after what I did he can’t imagine himself with someone who treat him so bad. If given the chance he would sleep with me, but he he says he can’t see himself in a relationship with me….I have tried not contacting him, but the fear of him moving on and forgetting about me keep me in contact. We are like a couple with the exception of sex and him reminding me that he has left everything clear to me. Even his family is telling me to give him space but he has a very big ego which I crushed…..It all has been my mistake. That’s why I am trying so hard. I love him so much, but I hurt him really deep. I made him cry like a baby when I wrote him card….sorry if this is too much info….. The point is when you love someone, you want to be in their presence. I love being in his company even if it hurts not to have the title of girlfriend anymore, and it hurts even more to think that I can say anything if he decides to date someone else, although his family says he is not that type of guy. My plan so far has been to hang out with out drama so that he sees that things are different and by staying in his life, his feelings for me won’t die out.
Hi,
I can’t help someone who is NOT willing to help them self. You have to do your best to overcome your insecurities, and not let them run your life.
If you are not willing to fight to get your life back, who will?
I help people properly use the no contact rule to evolve past a break up, and reveal their ex boyfriend’s true feelings.
I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.
Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.
Thank you for writing.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi …..how are u? Thx for helping me out here.
I was in a long distance relationship for 7.5 months the first few months were great after a month of talking online phone he came to see me we spent half the day together. It went very well as soon as I got home I had an email that we are meant to be together……and yes all the other sweet stuff that comes after. (I saw him few times) end of oct his company was bought out and he would not have a job he was stressed out about that and with me sending emails I’d prob get one email in return after that to after a week or so. Than in mid Nov after he didn’t have a job he wouldn’t initiate any emails and no phone calls (he doesn’t have a cell) after my emails ……I would be lucky if I got one email after a week or a couple of weeks. Sec of Dec I found out about a couple of lyes and that got me mad I sent him some nasty emails on Facebook and deleted him and he blocked me. And the next few weeks were hard for me ….I sent him cursed to pleading and begging emails. None of it worked and got one kinda angry email from him ….but nothing like don’t email me. I was on fb and saw his exgf and his pic up as a profile pic so I guess they are back together. Even today if I email him I won’t get an email back. But I’m sure he reads all of them. This is my third day I havnt contacted him.
Please help me! I really really do love him!
Hi,
I guess the loss of his job didn’t stress him out so much that he couldn’t start messing around with his ex girlfriend, huh?
As usual, these “lame” excuses are used to cover up the fact they don’t want to be in a relationship, and they just don’t have “the balls” to say it, so they play games.
You don’t have to play games, get off FaceBook, and delete anything he sends you.
If you use the no contact rule correctly you can evolve past the breakup, and reveal his true feelings for you.
I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.
Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.
Thank you for writing.
Take Care,
S.W.
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Ok I’ll try that, I do love him …..but if he wants to be with his gf …I guess I can’t do nothing. I just wished he at least called me so I could have closure. He does have another fb account where he keeps it private from the general public. I found that out a couple of weeks ago. Anyways I hope the no contact rule works. Thanks
Hi,
Don’t “try”, trying is an excuse to fail…DO IT!
You can do it…you can give yourself “closure”.
Use the no contact rule as outlined in the free plan, bury the failed relationship with your ex boyfriend, and get your life back.
Thank you for writing.
Take Care,
S.W.