I Want My Ex Boyfriend Back – Does He Still Like Me?
Do you wonder “Does he still like me?” Are you thinking “ I want my ex boyfriend back”, but you do not know what steps to take. There are 3 loving signs to watch for that will tell you that your ex boyfriend wants you back, and that he still cares about you.
Getting Ex Back
Does your ex boyfriend still keep in touch with you on a regular basis? This is a good answer to your question “Does he still like me?” Keeping in touch means he isn’t ready to let you go. Remaining friends keeps his foot in the door. If you’re thinking “I want my ex boyfriend back”, then this is a good sign.
Get My Ex Back
Does your ex boyfriend date much? If he hasn’t been dating that is probably because he is not ready to move on, and he still likes you. Don’t get over anxious and try to make any moves just yet. Take your time, and find a good plan. I know your heart’s screaming “I want my ex boyfriend back”, but you must be patient…OK?
Get Your Ex Back
Does your ex boyfriend move in close to you when you are talking face to face? This is a really good sign that he still likes you. Especially if he makes a lot of eye contact, and sometimes touches you as well. I know you’re thinking “OK, he does still like me, and I want my ex boyfriend back, so whats next?”
Winning Back Your Ex
You’ve just discovered some great news…But, you must be careful. One wrong move and you could send your ex running away from you again. If you are emotionally unbalanced (excited) you need someone or something to keep you in balance (focused)…Right? If you have any comments, or questions for me about how to get your ex boyfriend back, please write them in the comment box below, and I will answer them ASAP! What can I do to help you get your ex back? What are you willing to do to “get my ex boyfriend back?”
Until next time,
S. Williams
~I know that “love hurts” but with my help you will get strong enough to kick love’s ass~
http://www.howtogetyourexbackfast.com
Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You are free to reprint this article, as long as you do not change anything in the article – it must be in it’s original form…including my name, website address, and this statement.
Dear S. Williams, about a month ago, my live-in boyfriend and I had a terrible fight and awful words were said. My boyfriend had been out of work and he was always in the house (mostly in front of the computer) and not actively looking for work. He would subtly try to critize me until I felt controlled and I fought back by kicking him out of my house. I had done this before for many reasons. However, my feelings for him are still there and the passion between us has not dwindled. In a nutshell: he feels betrayed that I kicked him out and that he had to rent his own home. I know he blames me for everything, whick was part of our problem. However, against my better instincts, I saw him romantically and most recently I went to his home for the purpose of sex and intimacy. I know this was a mistake because it dragged my emotions to the surface and made me miserable. And of course, as a further mistake, ended up crying in front of him until he felt bad. I know he loves me and I do want to reconcile (as we had several times in the past) but he has a wall up and considers himself single and actually telling me he is just interested in having sex with other women but not a relationship. I know I’ve made deadly mistakes and it kills me that he is trying to move on. Although he wasn’t my perfect mate, I feel a deep connection with this man. And in the past (9 years) he would come back to me after a period of time. I’m afraid he won’t do that again, because I’ve pushed him away further. Do you think there is any hope? And is there a trick I can use to get over this emotional black pit. I really feel helpless here. Please help. Mary Ellen..
Hi Mary Ellen,
It seems like you have some other issues to work out before you two can be a couple again.
If you’re always fighting you are bound to keep breaking up…make sense?
I would start using no contact to draw out his true feelings.
I know it’s scary, but so is fighting and breaking up…Right?
Take a look at this free report about why lovers leave:
I Want My Ex Boyfriend Back
There is always hope, and you just need some guidance…that’s all!
I hope this helps you.
Take Care,
S. Williams
Hi scott, I am wondering if you have any advice for me that might be different from other readers. I have been dating a wonderful man since November, but when his ex-wife realized that he was moving on, she immediately got back in the picture. I am having a truly tough time. I have told him that I need 30 days to get my mind straight, and that he needed time to think, too. He did not call things off, but is confused and stopped returning my texts and things. I do not think he is in a relationship with the ex, but he is definately wanting to make sure he is doing the right thing. They have a 5 year old, and I have a two year old from a precious marriage. I feel that this man was the one for me and it hurts so badly to be caught in this totally unexpected love triangle. I have his son at school. I am the music teacher, and I see him every day. I love his Dad. I know his Dad loves me too. We had a wonderful relationship. I am hoping that he will wise up to the ex and realize that she just wants what he an give her… financial stability and family stability. That is big, though. I know that in his heart he loves her, too. Ouch. Help? I do want this man back, but only under the condition that his contact with the ex is due to having a child together. It is too painful otherwise.
Norene Patton
Hi Norene,
I would start using no contact to draw him back to you.
Unlike what most people believe, it is not better to smother someone when you are trying to attract them back, instead you need to become unavailable…understand?
If you chase them, they will run right into the arms of someone else.
Do not focus on how hard the obstacles are you are facing, but rather on a good plan to follow around those obstacles, and win your ex back.
I truly believe that you can get him back, you just need a great plan.
Take a look at this:
Get My Ex Back
Take Care,
S. Williams
Dear S. Williams, thank you for your previous adviice but unfortunately, I didn’t follow it. I know it was wrong, but I have recently been seeing my ex two or three times in a row and we’ve been acting casual but still passionate. I did a real stupid thing last night and showed up at his house unannounced. Long story short: it ended badly this morning with him calling me very awful names and threatening to not answer the door if I did it again. I feel extremely demeaned and that I have made the biggest mistake. I do want him in the future and in the past he has always been the one to contact me. I feel pretty low and helpless right now. Do you think it’s a lost cause or is there hope. He has screamed at me like this in the past. What should I do. I feel like crap.
Hi Mary Ellen,
I am sorry to hear about your fight, but you need to start using no contact, and using it correctly.
If you continue to “push” him away with unwanted contact, you could possibly ruin any chance of getting him back.
You really need a good step by step plan to follow, I suggest you take a good look at this one:
Stop Fighting And Start Getting My Ex Back
The faster you start using this plan, the faster you will get him back…understand?
Take Care,
S. Williams
Hello Scott,
I have ordered so many get your ex back programs in the past three years and purchased so many books from Barnes and Noble that they roll out the red carpet when I pull up! The problem is not a single one of them has been able to address my problem. It seems that maybe there isnt much intrest in it or it doesnt happen often enough to write about. So Im hoping maybe you can shed a little light since you seem to have a good grasp on things.
I was with my boyfriend for 7 years. He broke up with me because he said its just not working for us. I found out he had already met someone and was seeing her behind my back. That first year of the breakup he kept going back and forth between us and talking about how he isnt ready to make a committment. He would break up with her and come back to me and break up with me and go back to her. This was maddening and yes i am partialy to blame because I allowed it and was needy and clingy. All the classic mistakes I made. He finally chose her but only after I wouldnt allow him to come back and forth any longer. He is 39, Im 44, and she is 29.
Now after going to a therapist, I’ve learned what issues I brought to a relationship and discovered what I had done wrong as well as him. He did start therapy but quit. So Im a much healthier person and I know how to make better choices.
The problem Im having is thru this 3 years that we have been broken up, he is still with her but still contacts and finds excuses to see me. I keep it strictly plutonic and it seems we have actually become the friends we should have been to start with. I will always love him. But, why does he stay in contact? What is this purpose and does it really mean that he is still interested in me? We have the same interests and she does not. He even went as far to tell me that he created a monster and apologized for doing all the hurtful things that he did do to me and how wrong it was. But he has never made mention of us getting back together.
So can you tell me if you have experience with dealing with such a long time contact of the ex? I cant find answers anywhere. I would appreciate it very much if you could lend some advice on what you think it is. Do I want to get back? Only if he made the necessary changes to be a better person and right now Im thinking he hasnt if he is still dating her and still contacting me.
Thank you so much!
Lynn wrote:
Have you ever correctly applied no contact as I outlined in my FAQ’s here on the Blog?
Why don’t you join the forum and post your whole break up story under Heart Break Hotel, and we will all do our best to help you out…OK?
You can either use one of the topics already started or start your own.
I don’t answer relationship questions on the Blog anymore…that’s why we have a forum now.
My ex, rarely contact’s me but when we are both at a mutual gathering he will say hi and bye but, passes me and pokes me, then grabs the bridge of my nose what does this mean?
@ Xana:
I would say he is flirting with you and if he is touching you I would say he is really flirting with you.
Hi Scott,
My first love and I broke up two years ago and Christmas this past year he called me and we began to talk again…almost every day. In april in came down for a week (I live in Fl now, he’s in GA) and it was wonderful! He was even hinting at marriage (!) He went back home and I visited him a month later and he acted very distant and strange. We broke it off at the end of my trip because he said “nothing was there”. That was 2 months ago. The past 3 weeks he has been calling me between 2-3 times a day and is occasionally flirty. He is even planning another trip down here. He calls me if he has a question, just to say hey, basically I feel like he’s trying to find reasons to call me.. He is very cautious and is super quiet about his emotions and feelings…what’s going on?!?
christi wrote:
He doesn’t know how he feels about you, and wants to keep you on a “leash” so to speak.
Join our forum and start working with a plan we use that is based on the book the magic of making up.
Before you join our forum please read the guide lines and how to use the forum posts here:
Please Read Before Joining Our Forum
Hi-
I read your note aboves and it was completely my situation… but we are in long distance…. Please help…
We begin to see each other when we both had an assignment in Asia Jun’08 (last year). We did several trips in few countries together, it was perfect. He went back to US in early Sep’08 after his assignment is over, but I stayed in Asia as I got a great job offer. We were happy, but sometime in early Nov’08 he called and told me he was not ready for long distance relationship. I cried, hold on to him, managed to make him talk to me everyday… about the daily stuff, what are we doing, checkin up on each other.
Then, I went to see him in early Jan’09 for a week as his date in company annual dinner and to celebrate his promotion. It was good time again, we watched the Obama inauguration in bed, holding hand. But soon after valentine’s day, he withdrew again, told me not ready for long distance relationship but again, we keep talking to each other everyday.
Recently he bought a new house and I told him I wanted to visit him. He said no and told me he made it clear that he was not ready for long distance commitment –> this was two weeks ago, so I told him I’m going to Kenya (his favorite place) instead of visiting him.
We keep talking everyday but then this morning (asia time)this happened. I couldn’t reach him at earlier hour, so i was like “where were you” and he said he went out with a girl, and another couple to lake for waterboarding.
I was jealous, so I begin to say do you like her and if that’s a double date and he said yeah he likes her cause she’s cool to hang out with but it was not a date… it was blur what happened next but at the end he told me I should not call that much anymore (yes, I always call first, but he always pick up the phone, reply the emails / chats)… then i asked if he even liked me, why he didn’t want me to visit, and if i had been in US right now would the relationship have been better, if he wants to meet again, etc… again his answer was blur now (i think i was upset)although i don’t think it’s a positive answer … but at the end i made him promise to look for me if he changed his mine, and he said i know where to find you…
what do you think? partly i believe he still does have feeling for me, but sometime i am not sure (just like now)… what should i do?
i wanna use no contact, but what if the contact lost forever?
thanks for the words…
okay, so my story is similar to the others. I had a boyfriend about a year when I was 17 and he moved an hour away. We stayed “friends” for another year or two, but there was always a connection between us. i got pregnant from someone else and we sort of lost touch. That was 13 years ago. About a month ago we found each other via the internet and have talked or chated every day since. I feel like a teenager who is in love. He says he also has these feelings….love was never mentioned, by either of us. The thing is I’m married and he is engaged. I do not want to stop what I’m doing but sometimes we have pretty deep conversations. What should I do?
First off this is really not what I do, I help people in break ups get back together again.
Steph wrote:
Not really the others aren’t married pursuing an engaged man.
Steph wrote:
If love was never mentioned, how do you know that he “feels like a teenager in love?”
Hopefully you don’t act like a teenager and betray your husbands love, trust, and respect.
Steph wrote:
You have to make a choice:
If you love this old boyfriend more than your husband you should tell him and get a divorce.
If not and you want to stay true to your husband stop talking to this other guy, it will be the best for both of you.
Life is a series of tough choices…time to make a choice.
Okay. My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago. He says he wants to get back in touch with many people he lost in touch with and he wants to be independent and not be in a relationship for a while. I was too overcontrolling. At first he wouldn’t talk to me, but now he is slowly starting to talk to me again. We text every now and then and talk on the phone. We are meeting up next week to hang out. But he says he just wants to be friends. I asked him if maybe by the end of the summer he would be willing to give our relationship another try and he said we would talk about it. I decided to wait for him until then and I hope he is willing to give me another chance. But I don’t want to be waiting around all summer if I don’t really have a chance. He says he still loves me but he is going out all the time and I feel like he doesn’t even miss me. Do you think I have a good chance of getting him back? What should I be doing so I have a better chance until then?
Kayla wrote:
I think you should join our forum and follow the plan that has got 4 people their ex’s back in the past month.
Make sure you read the forum guidelines before joining and posting anything…OK?
http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first
Dear, S. Williams,
so me and my boyfriend broke up right.? and we went out twice. Thr first time i broke up with him and the second it was a mutual decision. we both wanted too. My feelings weren’t that deep for him. But now im in love with him. He texts me a lot. he says hi and theres a message where hes all calling me “sweetie and honey” and then he wa slike ? Im always going to be here for you okay sweetie” and he tells me “I love you” and sometimes i tell him good night when i’m about to sleep and he replis “oh good night. sweet dream honey”. But he also LOVES my best friend. but then he tells me this? and he used to tell me he was deeply in love with me. I don’t know. if he has a dillema between me or my best friend. And i don’t know if he likes me. A lot of my friends tell me it does look like he likes me cause he cares and how he looks atme and stuff but im not completely sure because he also likes my best friend. So do you think he likes me? and what should I do to get him back?
and he’s always saying im beautiful gorgeous etc.?
@ S. Williams:
So it just means hsi flirting nothing else? No hidden feelings there?
Amelia Perez wrote:
Go here and read the guide lines, if you accept them join our forum, we can help you.
http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first
Xana wrote:
Do you flirt for no reason at all?
Most people are flirting because they are “interested”.
It’s up to you to find out how interested they are…we have a plan if you want to join out forum follow this link:
http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first
okay, so I was with this guy for about 5 months but, we were extremely close and I could talk to him about anything. we broke up about 2-3 months ago, and at first we talked alot. he said that he still loved me but just couldn’t be with me at that time. I was upset but I wasn’t heart broken. About a month after we broke up I started feeling extremely upset and found myself thinking about him non-stop. I ended up telling him how i felt. He said he wished I had told him a two weeks earlier because he had just started dating a new girl and as much as he wanted to get back together he didnt want to hurt her. He said he wanted to be friends and still have me be his best friend. But after that night we didn’t talk much at all. I tried not talking to him, and that worked for a few weeks. but then the texts I sent him went un answered and I would cry all the time because I missed him so much. We’ve both dated since the break up but i feel like i can’t find anyone who I’m willing to be open with. he is still with that same girl but recently i talked to him and he said she’s cheated on him and messed up big time.
The thing that bothers me is that the only time he texts me now is when he is horny. He gets upset when i just want to talk or be friends. he did say though that he can see us being together in the future. I don’t know what to do, I honestly think that he is the guy for me. I can’t see my life without him. How can I make him realize that i really do love him when he won’t text me back or call me? and how can I get him to come back to me? that is the only thing i want, it would mean everything to me to have one more chance.
Katy W. wrote:
If you want my help to get your ex back follow this link:
http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first
Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.
Hello. I’ve been dating a really great guy. But then i did something really stupid and broke up with him and after a while, i started dating to try and get my mind off him. Now after breaking up,i still like him…any ideas what to do? he hasnt dated and we have usually flirt alittle. I want to get back with him but im unsure of what to do.
Cheryl wrote:
If you want my help to get your ex back follow this link:
http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first
Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.
@ S. Williams:
hi..why am i blocked??
melissabeary wrote:
You did not follow the forum rules, you can still read but you can not post anymore.
I told you to read the guidelines very carefully, too many people do not follow the rules.
Hi, so i’ve been seeing my bf for 3 months and he has commitment issues. The thing is it was so natural between us from the word go, he always gives me a lot of eye contact, affectionate and says nice things all the time. But the past 5 days he has been quiet, barely texting or calling me so I confronted him and asked if he was still happy. He said he wasnt unhappy but didnt know what he wants and it was getting to him. He wants to meet to talk about it. What should I do, I don’t want to break up, I want to work at it. Should I completelty ignore him by text and calls until then?
thanks
kk22 wrote:
I think that the plan we follow in our forum will help you.
If you want my help to get your ex back follow this link:
http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first
Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.
This question is to S. Williams. how can I try to get back with my ex if I never see him? It would be easier if I saw him here and there but I don’t. He lived about 45 minutes away and he moved up closer to be near me so we could spend more time together but we broke up. Or I broke up with him and I haven’t texted or called him at all. I took our son’s phone away because he was texting him all the time begging him to come back and our son was telling his father that I was losing alot of weight and I looked like I did in high school. My ex was so proud of the way I looked in high school. He told the boys that I wass still hot but really hot in high school. Our son was texting him quite a biut and this was upsetting him because of his medical problems and he was hurting big time. His sister told me all of this. He had said that he would contact us in September when things were better but now I’m not so sure.Alot has happened and I think with time maybe he will come around when things have cooled down and gets better for him.I have loved this man since I was 16 yrs old and believe me this no contact thing is killing me. I am concentrating on myself and keeping busy but he is always on my mind. I have lost alot of weight and my self esteem is improving big time and I feel good about myself but I miss him so much!My friends tell me he walked away because of his impotentcy and that this condition blew his mind. You see when he asked if I had dated while we were apart I fibbed a little and said yes but that my boys never met them and he saw that as just a sexual relationship. But the truth is I never did because I wasn’t interested in dating just raising my boys that’s aLL. So how can I ever try to work out our relationship if he’s on the go all the time . I thought that with patience and space that maybe everything will work out hopefully. Thanks !!
I’ve dated this guy for 8 months, and on memorial date he broke up with me.. It was great our relationship. We would spend HOURS (like 18) together, he basically lived with me. But we had to separate for summer vacation, cause I had to move back home, an he lives in another state.
But maybe a few days after breaking up with me, he’s with someone new. And they’ve only dated for a like 2 months, but he’s calling her his fiancee. But before he broke up with me. I asked is this a break or is it official (meaning we wouldn’t date again). he said a break.
And since I’ll be moving back soon, we WILL see each other cause it’s unavoidable. I just wonder should I just let it go? Or is there hope there?
- Like he’s known her for years and never once expressed any desire to date her.. and now he is.
But after meeting me for the first time, he told me he was falling for me. And it only took a couple weeks before he admitted he loved me..
And now just recently we’ve tried the whole friends thing, but it just makes me feel awkward. B/c I want to his girlfriend, not his friend. And I honestly don’t know what to do. Cause I’m seriously confused.
Help. PLEASE!!!
Elizabeth. wrote:
Your best bet would be to follow the plan we have in our forum.
If you want my help to get your ex back follow this link:
http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first
Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.
My boyfriend and I’ve dated for 14 months now, everything is perfect. We get into fights sometimes and we’ve broke up for a day or so twice already. We broke up last week now because he lied to me about something petty and than after a day of thinking it over, I decided it wasn’t worth it. I tried getting him back but he refused and said ‘this is for the best.’ Since then I went 2 days without talking to him and now he calls daily at least once to see how I am doing. When I call him though to see how he is, I feel like a nuiscence. I try to avoid calling him and waiting for his call but it is tough. Usually when we broke up, I would cry and apologize and he would give in. This time it is not working and I let him go on my terms. I regret it deeply. Last night, I heard from one of his friends that he invited a female co-worker over. I called and asked him about it and he said it meant nothing and that he isn’t ready to jump into another relationship but that he just wanted to hang out. I am perfectly available to hang out with him at all costs but he doesn’t give me the chance. He wouldn’t admit to me whether or not he likes her, so I’m wondering if he cares about how I’ll react to this news and he still calls me everyday, does he still like me? Or Should I move on?
my ex said too me on msn , i wanna be mates on msn , i dont wanna see you again because everytime i see you it makes me love you all over again and im not ready to go down that road , then like 2 days later ( the day he went on holiday) i was on the phone to him and he asked me to go 2 the airport and sit with him too keep him company but because i was ill i couldnt , so i said ill go to yours when i get back and he said ok , then just before i went i said so saturday and sunday ill walk round yours? and he said dunno but im about to get on plane so talk when im back , i love you . i replyed love you 2 and he hung up . what do i do ? does he still like me or do i move on ?
Toni wrote:
The best way to answer that question would be to join our forum and follow out step by step plan.
If you want my help to get your ex back follow this link:
http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first
Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.
Jessica wrote:
The best way to answer that question would be to join our forum and follow out step by step plan.
If you want my help to get your ex back follow this link:
http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first
Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.
Cheryl wrote:
@ Cheryl:
@ Cheryl:
CHERYL wrote:
First you have to attract him back then once you have his attention you can work things out.
If you want my help to get your ex back follow this link:
http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first
Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.
Hey, I was wondering if you could help me. I know you get a lot of questions. My boyfriend and I dated and lived together for 5 years. We really were in love for a long time. Things changed for us-well for me. I got bored and I didn’t know myself outside of the relationship. I broke it off and for the next year and a half we were on and off. I was always the one who broke it off. Finally, 6 months after our last break up, I finally feel like I’m grounded in who I am, and that I want to commit to him and start a family. I felt like a did before but there was a catalyst to the initial break up that is now solved. However, since I’ve drug him through the mud so much. He is saying he is happy and has made the decision to not try again. I feel like he still loves me. He is seeing someone else as well. How in the world can I get him back? I’ve really hurt this guy with my indecisiveness in the past. I feel terrible, and I want to make sure that I never hurt him again. I know that we really have something and our relationship was full of laughter and love. I know that I can make him happy. I want this and I want to start a family with him. What can I do to help him come to the realization that he can trust me to not hurt him and give this another shot?
Stephanie St.Amand wrote:
Hi Stephanie,
We ALL make mistakes but you can learn from them and evolve.
If you want him back you must start the evolution and let the old failed relationship(s) with your ex die and be forgotten.
Then you must finish evolving yourself come back and start a fresh new relationship with your ex.
How can you do this?
By following the information on my Blog and the free step by step plan in our forum.
If you want my help to get your ex back follow this link:
http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first
Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.
Don’t forget to sign up for my free News Letter for free videos, tips and advice on How to Get Your Ex Back.
Just click on the link under the little red heart in the upper right hand corner of my Blog.
Things are still weird between me and my ex, next week makes six months we been apart yesterday we were both at a friends birthday in a bar he said hello, but it seemed like he tried so hard not to look at me or talk to me and when ever he passed me he would make sure to sing the song that was playing or dance kind of in either a nervous way or try hard to show me his having a good time, then when I went to say goodbye we exchanged a few words nothing important. Friends tell me he hasnt said anything since we have broken up about what he feels or anything. Is he actually having a harder time at dealing with our break up? He has put up such a good front, but what are the tale tale signs that things arent what they seem???
Xana wrote:
I would say the fact that he is “nervous” around you is because he is hiding something…wouldn’t you?
Also if he is not in a relationship that would seem to indicate he is not ready to “move on.”
I say you would have a great chance of getting your ex boyfriend back, if you wanted to.
If you haven’t already I would suggest you get yourself the book the magic of making up, then start following the free step by step plan in our forum.
You can find the forum here:
http://www.howtokicklovesass.com
Thats the thing, I broke off our relationship beacuse of problems in my life I was stressed, but a day after said I wanted to resolve it, then he said at the time ‘no, i want to be alone right now’ did he say that because he was hurt??? Then we had a random chat and I said would do we still have a chance and he said now no but he would like to think so in the future’. Then months later he confuses me with avoiding to talk but then when I talk to him its ok, he still holds back. I sent him a message today saying that Id like us to be able to talk normally like before but if he prefers it the way things are just a hi an bye I would respect that and he didnt get back to me. Im so damm confused. He has given mixed signals, he might be moving on but does he want to because he hasnt tried to get me back..What should I do?
Xana wrote:
You have a decision make and I can not make it for you, understand?
You can “forget about it and move on”, or you can take the advice I gave you previously and take action to win him back…what will it be?
I told you before his actions indicate you have a good chance, if you follow my advice…ASAP!
My ex and I broke up a year ago this week. We work together so I see him 2 or 3x a week. We became best friends the night we met, and were an official couple just weeks later. It was the most amazing relationship of my life, I fell in love immediately.. as did he. Everthing was fairytale perfect until we had an unplanned pregnancy 5 months into the relationship and terminated. It was an extremely difficult decision that we made 100% together and was very horrible for us both. He was so supportive and loving toward me during this time but seemed to lose all sexual interest. He broke up with me just 2 months after our choice after a little disagreement about something silly. I was devistated and he really gave no reason. We didn’t speak for 2 weeks until our friends set us up on the 4th of July to try and get us back together. It worked, that night he was very nice but acted completely indifferent toward me until we all jumped into a pool and began having a blast with our friends. He slowly came around and that night he kissed me and admitted that he’d really missed me. We got back together, he got a job at my work, and things went back to normal for a month. Although he always said that I’m the most beautiful girl he’d ever dated and that I was the best he’d ever had sexually, there was very very little physical intimacy.. and when I brought it up one night it turned into a small fight and he broke up with me. We talked a few times a week for the next month and he would always end the conversation with “I still love you.” Then we both started seeing someone at the same time and our communication stopped. Since we work together I’ve seen him 2 or 3x a week since. We’ve remained friendly at work since. He’s always been a big flirt with women, including the girls at work.. all but me. He doesn’t play around with me the way he does the others and doesn’t speak to me often. Again totally indifferent. On the anniversary of our termination I asked him if he would let me talk to him about it. He said maybe.. but ignored a text and a call from me that day. Things were very tense between us for months until recently when he finally apologized for ignoring me saying he his girlfriend (the same girl he started seeing after we broke up) wouldn’t have liked it and that he’s buried that piece of his life and doesn’t want to reopen it. Ever since, things have been more friendly than ever between us. On the 4th of July he randomly showed up at coworkers party he knew I was at and sat talking to me until 3am.. mentioning how things aren’t going great in his realtionship. He still mostly ignores me, but he randomly brings up happy/funny things from our past and for just a moment will act like the man I used to love so much.. but still never going out of his way to speak with or see me. Many time as I walk by him I’ll look up and awkwardly catch him staring into my eyes.. as though he’s looking into my soul.. it’s very strange. He’s been so sad and quiet lately, I’ll ask him occasionally if he’s okay and he usually says he “just got a lot on his mind” or is “just thinking about things”.. with no more explanation. Which brings me to why I’m here. I’m still deeply in love him, I do everything I can not to show it and I’m pretty good at it. But this past weekend we had a moment alone in a store room when he asked me if I was going out that night (which is odd.. he’s never asked me this). I said no, I was going out of town with some girlfriends.. which happened to be the same city we had to travel to for the termination. He then said “I hate going there” and I absent-mindedly asked a suprised “why?” “because you have to drive past the hospital to get there.” I was so shocked I thought I’d heard him wrong, he has refused to talk to me about it for over a year despite my frequent request and great pain. I just mumbled a “oh my gosh, yeah, I know.. I um.. I mean.. why do you say that?” “I guess I’m just dwelling on things lately.” I didn’t know what to say after that and he walked away. I’m desperate for an opinion. I still love him with all my heart and don’t know how to act toward him. I just wish I could comfort him and make whatever is hurting him go away.. but I just go on acting like I don’t care.. letting my love for him slip out here and there when I can’t stop myself.
Jessica wrote:
If you can not live the way you are now, then you should use the plan in our forum to pull him back towards you again.
Once you have reconnected later on, you can discuss what is bothering him about the termination.
If you want my help to get your ex back follow this link:
http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first
Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.
Don’t forget to sign up for my free News Letter for free videos, tips and advice on How to Get Your Ex Back.
Just click on the link under the little red heart in the upper right hand corner of my Blog.
Hello Scott! So I am new to this forum and of course I am here because my ex boyfriend has recently broken up with me. However this is the 3rd time he’s broken up with me in about a span of 2 years (been together for 4 total). Long story short, it was smooth sailing for 2 years, the first break up occurred when we both started college, got back together because he was jealous over some myspace comments, were together for 6 more months, then broke up again, came back because he didn’t want to lose me, and finally were together for a good year, and just two weeks ago just broke up with me again. Every time it’s out of the blue and random. He pretty much gives me the same old ‘speech’ tells me he needs to find out who he is, thinks were drifting apart, thinks I deserve better. I’ve never gone through a specific method to get him back, I do all the mistakes of crying n begging then I leave him alone, and he has always just contacted me within 4 weeks wanting to get back together. Even though I know if we get back together again we could just continue a cycle of breaking up and making up but I have so much love for him and I’m not ready to let go despite all of the pain. What is our opinion on the situation?
Christina wrote:
Hi Christina,
It seems like you never took control of the situation and just waited the 4 weeks for him to come back.
This time why don’t you take “control” and use the plan we follow in our forum.
By using this plan you will cause he to feel like he could really lose you, and this work force him to be honest with himself about how he really feels about you.
Plus I think you will really like the feeling of finally being “in control” for a change.
If you want my help to get your ex back follow this link:
http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first
Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.
Don’t forget to sign up for my free News Letter for free videos, tips and advice on How to Get Your Ex Back.
Just click on the link under the little red heart in the upper right hand corner of my Blog.
Good Early Morning Dr. S.Williams
My boyfriend and I were dating for just about a year. Halfway through the relationship I had personal issues so severe that my boyfriend offered to take me under his wing and into his home. We’ve broken up just recently and his reasons were because we were arguing too often due to the fact that he started to get overly irritable at basically everything. I know it had to deal with the fact that we were living together almost too soon and we both seemed to need our own space… I am just heavily concerned because I can truly say he was my first real love alongside my first heartbreak… I want him back and within these few days that we’ve been broken, it seems like he’s been going out and coming home late.. I’m worried. Please Help! & Thank you
Mimi wrote:
Hi Mimi,
Thanks for the promotion…but I am NOT a doctor, just someone trying to help, OK?
Mimi wrote:
You’re best bet would be to NOT chase him and start using a plan to put the no contact strategy into play.
How can you do that?
By joining our forum and following the step by step plan we have for free.
Not only will you have a plan to follow, but you will have the support of all our members as well, sound good?
If you want my help to get your ex back follow this link:
http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first
Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.
Don’t forget to sign up for my free News Letter for free videos, tips and advice on How to Get Your Ex Back.
Just click on the link under the little red heart in the upper right hand corner of my Blog.
Yea ive read all of your no contact phases and I am definitely not a chaser. But I just want more info in regards to the way that he has been acting, is that a good sign or a bad sign? Thanks
Mimi wrote:
The way he’s acting in like “going out and coming home late”?
I assume that you’re still living with him, correct?
Well if he hasn’t asked you to leave…that’s a good sign.
His going out might just be the “the break” you both needed from each other, as you mentioned you were both in each others face a lot.
Hoped that helped!
we use to live together. but since the break up I have already relocated back to my house and i only know he’s been going out because he seems to ‘accidental dial’ me.. but is it even possible to do that on an Iphone that is strapped horizontally to his waist?
Thanks again S. Willams
and sorry I have so many concerns
Mimi wrote:
Perfect!
It will be a lot easier to follow the no contact strategy when you live apart.
Take my earlier advice and join our forum and follow the step by step plan we use.
@ S. Williams:
Dear Ms Williams,
I really need some help! My ex and i broke up around 6 weeks ago. he asked for a break, so i gave him one. however, he kept contacting me during the break saying he misses me and and wants to sort stuff out. He than asked for the break to be over.. than a few days later he text me in the mddle of the night telling me he loves me and called me a few times. i was asleep!! so i missed it. i calld back the next day. no reply. he than ended it a few days later. BY TEXT! I didnt even reply to his text nor did i contact him. 5 weeks later i text him to see how he was .. he was kinda blunt.. so i left it.. than i admited that i was alright with the break up but i did miss him.. he than said he was seeing someone else. i know this isnt true because i would know from other people. so i leave it and he starts shouting at me and hes REALLY mad at me for no reason! he wont even tell me.. i leave him alone.. a week later im online and i find hes blocked me.. but i havent harassed him or anything.. i dont know what to think about all of this!
Some help will be really appreciated =(
A.a.a wrote:
Hi A,
I would go to the free plan on my Blog (at the top) and start following it…each and every step.
This will give you back control of your life, and this break up situation, OK?
Go get started.
@ A.a.a:
it sounds like it all started off when u missed his phone call and didnt tell him that u were sleeping so he assumed u werent interested anymore s it s alwaays over stupid shit ,its all about the details ,it always starts small ,and nowing men they go through fits of paranoia about u,and yes ure likely right he is not seeing anybody,he probalby still wants you hes just waiting hoping that u call him cause he probably never will,balls in your court.
but than when i admited that i missed him.. why did he completely over react?! and hes blocked me and etc..
than why the rage and anger.. i cant understand .. i tell him i miss him and he over reacts.. so i leave him be
Hi,
What if we are still together but I think he lost his intrest in me? He is very nice but not as hot as he used to be its seem our relationship is growing cold. is the No contact rule work?
Nilou wrote:
Yes, you could use the no contact message for taking a break.
Have you tried to talk about it, why he doesn’t seem very interested anymore?
Try that first…if he is not responsive…try taking a break (not break up) and initiate no contact, and follow the free plan on my Blog.
@ S. Williams:
Yes I told him that I think he has changed , we used to be happy but now hes lsoing intrest , then he said ” No my love I have not changed.” but I can see he is not talking to me alot , he prefer to be with his freinds rather than me. you see action speak lauder than words. By the way this is a LDR and I didnt come online for one day and half and he didnt bother himself to ask me where I was! pls. advise me.
Nilou wrote:
Hi Nilou,
My best advice will be to follow the free plan on my Blog.
Focus on that, and follow each and every step, and you will see great results.
You can edit the NC message to read “I think we need to take a break”…instead Of “I agree with the decision to take a break”…make sense?
In a sense you will be asking for a break (not break up), and initiating no contact at the same time…pretty cool, huh?
Just follow the plan, and we will work on your NC message in the forum, OK?
Get started right away!
@ S. Williams:
Dear S. Williams ,
Thank you for your reply…but I beilive the free plan on you Blog is for those who are already Break Up , I did nt not break up with him we even did not had any argument , dont you think I f I send him a NC Messsage he might think I am making excuse to go back to my husband? because out of sudden I want a break? he might think I wanna go back to my husband(I filed for devorce but its not finilized yet and he is still living with me)
Nilou wrote:
You’re right, the plan is for people in a break, or break up situation.
But you want your relationship to change, and he doesn’t want to talk about it, right?
What better way to get his attention than asking for a break, and then initiating no contact?
You will find out how serious he really is about your current relationship.
You could go for counseling, but I bet he will refuse, because he claims there is nothing wrong, but you disagree, right?
That is the best advice I can offer you, if you don’t agree maybe another site can help you…good luck!
Once more Thank you so much for your time and answering . Actually I like your idea , I am sending him NC massage just for Break not Break up and wait for 30 days…what next at my position LDR? I cant ask him for 30 minute out….
Pls. advice.
Nilou wrote:
You can do the reconnection by phone, email, or web cam chat…if there is no way to get face to face with your ex.
But remember there is much more to this plan then just waiting 30 days, follow all the steps in the free plan during your 30 days of NC, OK?
Just start following the free plan, and in the forum there are people just like you (in LDR’s) who are using email, and chat with good results.
hey
so my boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago .. we had not really been fighting but he said he is unhappy. he has tourettes aswell and says he thinks he may be depressed. he had a talk last week where he said he wanted to break up but i asked for us to work on it and he agreed. then a week later i came home and he was sitting on the couch and said he wanted to end things that he wasnt happy. we’ve been together almost two years and have lived together for over a year. i asked if we were ending things for good or if we were going to talk about it .. he said when he is ready that we can maybe talk about it and try to work it out. for now i am moved back in to my parents house but i am completly devestated. i love him more than anything. i have agreed to give him space and some time but i would like to know what i should do? believe him and wait to talk about it or just move on? i want him back and i would like to know how to get him back.
please and thankyou for your help
hey
so my boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago ..
we had not really been fighting but he said he is unhappy.
he has tourettes aswell and says he thinks he may be depressed.
we had a talk last week where he said he wanted to break up but i asked for us to work on it and he agreed.
then a week later i came home and he was sitting on the couch and said he wanted to end things that he wasnt happy.
we’ve been together almost two years and have lived together for over a year.
i asked if we were ending things for good or if we were going to talk about it .. he said when he is ready that we can maybe talk about it and try to work it out.
for now i am moved back in to my parents house but i am completly devestated. i love him more than anything.
i have agreed and am ok to give him space and some time but i would like to know what i should do?
believe him and wait to talk about it or just move on? i want him back and i would like to know how to get him back.
please and thankyou for your help
justine wrote:
Hi Justine,
I will tell you a little secret…
before you can get your ex back, you have to get yourself back first.
If you don’t know what I mean you will after you have been following the free plan, and interacting with our forum members…who are going through the same plan as you.
Don’t hesitate any longer and get started with the free plan right here on my Blog, OK?
i know we’ve only been broken up for two days .. but i am happy with myself .. i just want him back .. i understand the no contact rule and giving him space .. but i said yesterday that i was going to give him a week to think about it .. then contact him and ask him if we are going to talk about it eventually and try to work it out or if i should just move on? also he’s been talking to his exgf who he went out with for 4 years i think she broke up with him and she cheated on him a bunch of times. i’ve never done anything like that to him and love him with all my heart .. so why is he doing this? help please .. i dont understand
if you love him that much then you shouldn’t give up that fast just yet, as tdub said you can reunite with your ex regardless of situation, more the reason not to give up and as scott said you only fail when you fail to take action so don’t think about moving on so quickly… unless that’s what you really want, but it seems like it isn’t since you love him with all your heart, follow the free plan like scott said, and join the forum
Ok last Saturday i caught my GF lying saying she was going to be with her sister but instead went to a party with some old friends. i was ok with this just asked why she lied. then the truth came out. she told me she cheated on me with a kid and she regrets it. it was the excitement of being with someone new. and it happened 3 months ago. then she told me that she needed her time and space. the thing is during all this i was flipping and crying. and she showed no emotion towards me about it what so ever. we been together a year. and have had talks about some serious things like marrage. but now she said she wants to live the single life before she regrets it later in life. she told me a few times in the past year. she feels that one day me and her will get married and have kids but she wants to be able to live the single life cause she has always been in a relationship. i forgive her for cheating and i have made peace with it. and i am not mad at her or ther other guy. and this past week i have been bringing up and bothering her alot. and i admit i have spyed on her with my facebook and myspace. and she says she did love me and she always will love me. she went out with friends this past weekend and got wasted. and she called me at 3am crying and i rushed to her side. and was there for her but she told me her calling me didnt change her decision. she says she misses me and txt’s me randomly. and i told her today (todays the 1 week breakup mark) that i am not going to contact her. if she wants contact me. and when i reply i leave it short. as of today before i was txting non stop. but is there hope for a new start. but she also told me she doesnt want to give me hope for a relationship cause shes not 100% sure if its going to happen. she said she was happy with me but not the relationship. we did live with each other since day one and we work together and we didnt really do much besides sit at home or at her familys house. i love this girl so much and would do anything for her. shes a very quiet girl and its hard for her to open up and talk about things to people. i am scared she wont ever tell me if she wants me back if she ever does. and how do i get her to want and need me back? please i am begging for information. i cant stop crying for this girl
i did delete my facebook. i am considering deleting my myspace. but how do i get her to want me back. i have read your stuff but i am still confused on everything. i just want to try to build something with her. shes a great girl. i just think shes confused on things and has to relize that. she told me shes not out to date she just want to have fun and not have the guilt or to explain her self to me. sometimes i believe if i didnt catch her in a lie. we would be ok
Glavin wrote:
She isn’t that shy if she was willing to cheat on you, right?
You’re best bet is to stop thinking about what to do, and follow the free plan on my Blog.
Just follow the steps…no thinking involved, in fact it would help if you didn’t think about it…and just did it.
Glavin wrote:
She wants her freedom, then give it to her…you can’t stop her from leaving, but you can use the process in the plan to see how she really feels about you.
well some of her friends contacted me and told me that she feels beautiful and attractive when she has guys txting her to hang out and stuff. but there guys are just using her to get what they want. i love her for her beauty in and out. but i am just lost on how i show her that. i have read ur plans. but its all confusing. is she out to feel good about herself but in the end going to get hurt. my main concern right now for her is the fear of her getting really hurt or depressed. i am ok with our relationship status right now cause i love her and want her to have her space. but i dont want to see a great girl like that being used. thats what happen with the guy she cheated on me with. he made her feel great and she went for it. but now her friends are telling me he is now going for her friend and isnt even talking to her anymore. btw this guy has a GF and is cheating on her all the time. so what can i do so she doesnt feel that way?
i did send her a txt today saying what u said about ur glad with her decision and about the no contact. and she replyed back ok? idk how well thats going to go
Glavin wrote:
Time will tell…
Now go and follow all the rest of the steps in the free plan on my Blog.
where exactly are the rest of the steps after the nc letter?
justine wrote:
They are all in the free plan link at the top of my Blog.
thankyou .. im trying but it’s so hard i feel lost.
i just sent him the nc text message buuut
before that i was upset and i texted him and asked if he was seeing anyone and he said no and then i said im 100 percent fine with giving him time and space and asked if i was wasting my time and he said right now you are .. so then i texted him the nc text and said i agree with the breakup that it will be the best for the both of us right now i have something exciting to tell him (saw that in one of the sample ones) and i dont want him to contact me.. he then texted me back and said i need to tell him what i have exciting and that i was the one who contacted him and that he wants the key back to the aparment where he’s living that’s in my name .. what do i do now
justine wrote:
Don’t reply, if the apartment is in your name you have a right to a key, right?
He is pissed because you have taken control of the situation away from him.
Now, go and follow every step in the plan…the NC message was just the beginning…you’re about to start your personal evolution.
@ Glavin:
that dude totally deserves to get his ass kicked fo realz
but ya follow the plan
well i followed the plan and it bit me in the ass. i went over to her to talk about things and such. and she finally opened up to me for the first time and thats cause i went there strong didnt give in and didnt try to beg for her back. and she felt it was time to let it go. she told me that she loves me and misses me everyday but 2 scared to tell me cause she didnt want to give me hope we are getting back together. she says she feels her love for me is getting stronger everyday but shes waiting till the day she needs me. she said her gut and heart want us to be together really bad. but her mind says she needs to try to live a single life. cause she needs time to herself and her family and friends right now. and this morning i told her what step one said about NC. and it bit me in the butt. when we talked she said she was so furious that i was being a jerk and being like the guys in her past did she was disgusted with me. her last ex told this to her after they were together for almost 4 years. and she hasnt talked to him since she doesnt even want to deal with a jerk. she said she wants to be single and live right now for herself so me and her in the future dont have what happened to us to happen again. and i understand. she said that if i find someone else thats all me and she will have to live with her mistake. (she teared up saying that to me.) but i understand where she is coming from. but she also said she doesnt know how being single might change her. she said that she doesnt want to promise me we are going to get back together but she strongly feels its going to happen. she said she doesnt know when but she feels it might be sooner than she though. which i was glad to hear. i didnt show i was glad to hear it i just took it in with out a smerk. right now we agreed to make a list of the goods about our relationship and what can be improved in the future. and the goods and bads about being single. i think i took the step in teh right direction. cause ik who she is and i know how she looks at things and it took sometime to understand and stop thinking about what i want but about what she wants. it helpped me understand. i believe the NC might help with someone. but in my situation it didnt it caused more of a mess cause she didnt want a jerk. she wants someone who cares and supports her and is glad that shes doing this for us and not just herself. maybe i am wrong but she opened up to me more today than she ever had. it took some good thinking and research to get her to open up. but i did and it worked. i wish all you best of luck in getting your ex back. i havent gotten mine back but i did gain something and that is her respect for me. and her trusting me to open up to me with out be sobering and crying and begging for her back
ok thankyou
that’s what i was thinking .. if the apartment is in my name and all my furniture it still there then i should still have a key but he said he didnt feel comfortable that while we are broke up i have one. i noticed while i was leaving that he had his exgf added back on to msn and has her under the favorites list (they dated for four years but she cheated on him a few times and also has a boyfriend now) should i be worried about this or? also when i went by there today (to get some mail) i noticed that he had taken down all the pictures of us together and everything i had given him (aswell as the note i left him when i moved all my stuff) but instead of throwing it all out, he has it in the top drawer of a dresser .. im not sure if im reading too much in to this or if im trying to keep my hopes up .. but does that mean something?
Glavin wrote:
WTF plan are you following?
There is nothing in the free plan on my Blog about going over there to talk things over…this is a process that takes 30-60 days.
And you were using no contact for what…less than 24 hours?
You didn’t follow the plan, and you failed, but you can always start over again.
The plan only works when you follow it correctly…you just proved that, didn’t you?
justine wrote:
He should have thought about that before he dumped you, huh?
justine wrote:
Well, if he hasn’t asked you to pick up your stuff…that would mean he has doubts about what he is doing…stick with NC and hold your ground.
Follow the rest of the steps in the plan, and join our forum…you will find great personal support in there…you don’t have to go through this alone.
that’s the thing .. i went there and took out all my personal belongings but left all of the pictures of us together there and the notes and everything else and instead of throwing it out because i left it .. he has it put away.
also what do you think about the other ex gf situation? thank you so much for your help
justine wrote:
Do not fight it…that is what “she” will be hoping for, and that will only make you look worst, and her better…understand?
Now, you really need to get started following all the other steps, OK?
i told her the no contact rule. and she told me strait up that she will never contact me nor tell me how she feels cause she doesnt want an asshole. her other exs did this and she hasnt spoke to them ever they try to get in touch with her. and did while we where together but she didnt want anything from a guy who doesnt show her respect for her decision and asked for us to talk about why i made that decision cause she knows i would never say that, but everything is working out now. she plans on staying with me tommorow and a few nights a week. i just got off the phone she called me about the convo we had. and she says she feels good with whats going on between us. she said she just needs some time to herself to think. she told me that she talked to her mom after i left. and she told me her mom said to wait a few weeks and be single just to get things figured out and think about what she wants with our relationship and how we can better it and that we are going to start doing the dating thing all over again. baby steps. but she feels stronger feelings for me after i picked up my emotional mess. she doesnt feel presured anymore and really want to move ahead with us after she has time to think about things going on in her life. shes learned alot alrdy and knows it was a mistake. she said she should of just sat with me and said i am going to stay with my family a few days to clear my head. and now since she broke up with me wants to just think about her life and what made her decide why she went with the break up. some people the nc works with us it wouldnt. but tommorow she wants me and her to sit and talk about things we would like to see out of our new relationship. ik i wanna fix what went wrong. and she does 2. and came to me and gave me the worlds biggest hug and kinda started to cry but she acted like she wasnt. but i knew she was going to start crying. i do want to say i have read your steps and i did use them to help me out and pick my self up. i am in alot better mood and see things alot better. like not take relationships for granted and stuff. and you have helpped me alot. i just didnt get it enough time for it to work out. she said her biggest mistake was not talking to me and trying to fix our relationship. she said she felt she had to say she needed to break cause she though i would understand it. i didnt at first. but now its time to collect my tears and look towards a brighter future. I thank you again s.Willian. i have recommended your website to my roomate and another friend. they said they will try and see what happens. idk if its to late for them cause ones been out for 6 months and other for 11. ill admit i didnt follow steps all the way but it tought me more than just the NC but to Look at my own life
Hi Scott,
I have failed many times on NC.
But now Iam on a strict NC rule where Iam following this for last 3 weeks.My ex works with me in the next bay but still I have been following it sincerely.On the first week my ex 3rd day my ex came very close to me in the coffee room right behind me and tried to get really close but I walked off coolly.On the 2nd week he was giving me looks and was very disturbed.He seemed angry,perturbed and upset and was looking in my direction many times.Once when I passed by his seat he gave me a very angry look.Now its the 3rd week and he has completely stopped looking in my direction.He talks to everyone else and is completely cool.He even mentioned about some other girls whom he is thinking of dating to my other friends.But no glances in my direction.No looks.Absolutely no attention.
Is he trying to make me break my NC or is he moving on?
Fyi I have been workin on my personal evolution,participating in new projects,woking out and being the nice person that everyone is happy to meet in office.But he is still stubborn.
Glavin wrote:
You should continue to follow the plan, and continue your personal evolution…it is an important part of getting back your life, and your ex.
Pinky wrote:
Hi Pinky,
Don’t focus on him…focus on yourself, and he will come around…keep on evolving because it’s working, OK?
Hi Scott,
Do you mean to say his not talking to me and being cool is going to work in my favour in future?Because Iam fearing he is moving on completely….
Pinky wrote:
It sounds like he is angry because you won’t break NC…are you following the free plan…do you have the book?
Have you tried to set up a short meeting as outlined in chapter 6?
Plus it is part of the plan for you, and your ex to move on completely from your old relationship before you can start a fresh new one…you both have to let go.
Hi Scott,
Even though I have evolved personally I still want him.
I still love him with all my heart.Iam fearing the rejection part of it because he has not made any demonstration of an interest to get in touch with me or contact me.Not even a simple hi on SMS.
I feel Iam not ready yet.Iam still on NC and personal evolution.I have let go all the bitter things and shortcomings of the old relationship and ready to start everything new with him.But is he having the same thought…I dont know.The fear of being insulted again is scaring me a lot.Do I need to still wait and stick to NC for some more time.This guy has insulted me a lot during the breakup.If he does it again all the self work that I have done till now will go down the drain.I might go into depression again.As an expert what do you feel?Should I wait for him to open up to me..or make the move to contact and take the risk?The love between us was really very deep and emotional.As I have mentioned before I never got any closure from him.He just stopped talking to me because of his professional commitments.(he is still deep into them).He told me he cannot handle this relationship now because he feels sensitive about it and will not be able to concentrate on his career.That was the last thing he spoke to me.I felt complete emotion and sensitive love in his voice when he said that.Should I wait for him to complete his projects and then talk to him….would he appreciate that I was a patient woman who gave him the space he wanted to do what he wanted in his career…will it help him to love me and come back…
@ Pinky:
I have got the book and following it step by step.Only the reconnection is scaring me.
Pinky wrote:
I would stop analyzing your situation, and just focus on the plan…it never helps to look too far ahead…one day at a time, OK?
im trying but it’s so hard
i have not texted him or even tried to call but i just got a text message from him that says he wants his fan back (that was in our apartment, even though theres one left there) and the key
i havnt responded back but he sounds so angry, it hurts
justine wrote:
Of course he’s angry…he’s not getting his way anymore…I would ignore his texts that are not about anything important.
It seems he is just sitting there thinking of reasons to contact, after you asked him not too.
He better remember that the place he’s living in is in your name…don’t want to piss off his landlord.
Don’t try to follow the plan…follow it, and get involved in our forum.
The people who have been the most active in our forum, are the one’s who have been successful in getting their lives back…and their happiness.
okay, im sorry i ask so many questions but im just so confused.
so the next step is to get a personal journal .. do you mean by like a diary type thing?
i understand the nc rule but if he calls/texts me and says he wants to talk .. do i still ignore it if im not ready and message him when i am .. or go talk? thank you
justine wrote:
Yes, get a notebook to write your daily feelings in…do you have the book MOMU?
NC is straight forward, don’t respond to him unless it is work, business, child related, and then keep it all about business, nothing personal…this is covered if you read through all the links in the free plan.
The sooner you stop worrying, and start focusing on the plan…your confusion will start to go away…understand?
Only you can make the choice to take control of your situation…and focus.
Make sure you join, and participate in our forum…this very very important.
yeah i read about all those reasons for contact but i didn’t remember seeing anything about that! so only contact him when i am ready.
i don’t have the book momu .. i tried to order it with my paypal account, but you have to have a credit card aswell to order!
all the furniture in the apartment is mine aswell .. should i wait for us to talk before i remove it all?
i went out and bought a notebook and im going to start that now.
thank you
justine wrote:
You can use a Visa, or Mastercard gift card (buy at any department store) in place of a credit card…the book will really help you.
justine wrote:
I have written a lot of articles about using NC, you can read them by clicking on the no contact link at the top of my blog.
But no contact is just the beginning, there is much more to the plan, so I really advise you get MOMU ASAP to help you get started.
But in the meantime, focus on following the free plan…and join our forum…OK?
joined the forum
starting my pros&cons list
is it normal to have more pros than cons at this stage?
justine wrote:
Nope…but somewhere along your personal evolution that can sometimes change…take the time to really explore your past relationship, OK?
Now…don’t be shy, get out there and interact with the other members, OK?
This is when the “magic” starts…when you reach out to help other people you learn a lot about your own situation.
Hi Scott,
I broke up with my girlfriend about one and a half month ago.
We was together for one year and then I came to study abroad and the problem started.
What happen was we had an argument and I told her I want to break up but actually it was just my temporary emotion.
Then next day I wait for her call to reconcile, she always do this but this time she was absent.
So I called her,she said she still love me and want to be together but I still say no at that time.
After no contact for one day,I call her asked about to getting back together but she said she doesn’t love me anymore!!!
So I asked her if she met someone but she didn’t. She said she just hurt too much and don’t want to be my girlfriend anymore.
She said she was too tired and have no time for keeping contact in this long distance relationship.
I cried, beg her for a chance but she cannot give me.
After she rejected me I called her everyday, she said we can be friend and I can call her anytime I want to.
On her birthday I sent her a gift and little diary I wrote before we broke up. That day is the first time she called me,
she said she really like the present and my diary made her cry. She said if I met someone please let her be the first one to know.
My hope was glow and three day after that I cried and beg her again for a chance.(what a stupid person!)
Exactly, she rejected me,said she still upset about me. She also said she cannot wait for me , she have to move on.
So I said I will move on as well, but I cannot at all.
I tried no contact for two days and I called her again, she picked up the phone and her sound looked like she’s very glad I contacted her again. She said she really miss me and sorry that she didn’t make a call first.
Everything seems better right? But after that, I continued contact her everyday and she became cold again.
I could stand it for just one week and then I asked about how she feel with me now.
She said she doesn’t know she still love me or not but she isn’t ready for reconcile and she is happy with her own life.
After this, things getting worst and worst . I keep contacted her everyday but she is very cold.
At last I asked her the same boring question that she is still love me or not and this time, she said NO
She cried and said I don’t have to wait for her anymore she will not come back.
Next day I called her and send a message to say sorry that I forced her and made her cry.
She said its ok and I promise to her I will be just her friend and will not try to force her back again.
I still keep contact her everyday . She is very cold and sometimes she reject my call.
So I think I will stop contact her for a while before everything getting worst.
What make me really concern is ” Do I still have any chance to reconcile with her?”
Because I make mistake many times and it seems like she doesn’t want to talk to me now.
In this one and a half month I keep contact her almost everyday and I’m worry “Is it too late to start No contact?”
Anyway we will meet in December and I wish I could make things better before that time
Thank you a lot for reading my story
@ marianne:
You have posted this twice in our forum, and now again on my Blog.
But, you haven’t made one move to start using the free plan…WTF is the matter with you?
Posting your break up story multiple times isn’t going to solve your problem…taking action is, so start taking some action, and follow the free plan on my Blog, OK?
sorry I just worry about I have done to much mistake and the plan can still help me?
marianne wrote:
Everyone worries about the same thing, but once they start following the free plan, and interacting in our forum…they begin to understand, and become much happier.
Marianne you must take action if you want to take control of your situation…you have to do it…no one can do it for you, understand?
@ S. Williams:
i overlooked my pros and cons list .. and i still have more pros than cons.
actually, last week after we had our first talk/fight (can read about it in my breakup story) i did up a list of all the things i loved about him and everything i appreciated that he did and it was three pages long, and i could have went on. i was planning on giving it to him this week (but we broke up friday) so i gave it to him that night when i left.
justine wrote:
As I mentioned in our forum that list will change as you evolve, and think about things more.
Hi,
I kicked my boyfriend out, because I felt we needed a break from one another and I never meant it to be permanent. I didn’t tell him that, because he wouldn’t have gone. It took me a month to realize my mistakes and realize that I want him and I love him. We kept in contact because we have a 2 yr old daughter together. I was texting him one night and he texted me back quite a few times. The next day I texted him and asked him if there was something else he really wanted to say, but couldn’t. He replied, “I wish things were the same maybe one day” I took that as he still wanted us to be a family as well. so I thought long and hard about what I did wrong and needed to work on and then I texted him 2 days later to come by the house so we could talk, but in response his girlfriend that I didn’t know he had called me and started running her mouth and calling me names. I got him on the phone and I asked him “why did he send me that text if he had a girlfriend and we were over?” He had me on speaker phone so she heard it and he said he didn’t remember texting that.I asked him to come by the house and get some of his stuff so that we could talk and She insisted on coming to the house with him and so he brought her. He wanted to see the text and I showed it to him and her and he said that he didn’t remember sending that, but when she wasn’t in the room he told me he was sorry. I have asked him to talk to me alone and face to face, but because of her he wont. I want the chance to apologize to him for my mistakes and to ask him to give our family another chance and let me prove to him that we can have a good relationship as well as a happy family. I just feel that if I could talk to him he would consider it and decide to come home to me and his 2 yr old daughter being he didn’t want to leave in the first place. I just need advise. Does he still care about me? does he still want to be a family? How can I get to talk to him with out her? How do I get him back before it goes any further and people get hurt more? Please help! I cry myself to sleep every night and it’s about 4am before I fall asleep. My daughter cries often saying she wants her Daddy to come home and for me to get him? We are both hurt and suffering and I just want to make things right!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP US!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. I don’t know, but I feel he just doesn’t want to hurt this new girl so he is torn! I’m not sure.
follow the plan, and send the NC letter and keep NC, if you break it it will hurt your chances so don’t! unless it’s something involving the child, if it is don’t talk about your relationship
then hire a gang to kill that b*tch, just kidding… just follow the free plan and all should be well, join the forum and start your own topic, paste what you wrote here in the heart break hotel, then after you send the NC msg, start your NC diary and let your evolution begin
That’s funny about the gang thing. I’m new here and don’t know how to get to the forum, start my own topic, how to get to Heart break hotel or the NC msgs Please help. Thanks in advance. Just on a personal note in your opinion do you think he even wants to get back together? Just don’t want to waste my time on a lost cause.@ Yoyo:
Bobbie wrote:
Hi Bobbie,
Your best bet to get him to realize his true feelings for is to follow the free plan on my Blog.
Go to the top of my Blog and find the free plan link, and then read, and follow every step…do not skip anything.
Once you initiate NC…keep yours/his personal life out of any contact, and only respond to contact about your child…all this is covered in the plan.
The sooner you focus on the plan…the sooner your pain will fade…promise.
Bobbie wrote:
If he was secretly reaching out to you, then I believe he has second thoughts about making this break permanent.
The girlfriend will not stand a chance against his child’s mother…just follow the plan before you make things worst.
Hi Scott,
I spoke to you before as well.
I have the feeling that the NC is backfiring on me as my ex has stopped looking at me and when I crossed him face to face on the hallway he did not even look at my face.Now I feel scared to break NC as well as stick to it.I feel its better I disappear from the scene for sometime till he cools down?
Pinky wrote:
The plan is only a suggestion…do what you feel is right for you.
Finding another job would help a great deal, and then you wouldn’t have to see your ex all the time.
thanks for your valuable guidance scott at all times.does it imply that my battle is lost.if i go to some other job and stop even looking at him then it seals the relationship i guess
Pinky wrote:
Why does it seem like everyone wants me to tell them if their battle is won or lost when I am not the one fighting it?
No, it doesn’t mean it’s over…it will just make the NC have more of an affect on your ex, and you too.
it’s not we want you to tell us if our battle is loss or won, just that you seem to have a lot of knowledge with this
and as this being my real first time going through something like this .. i feel comfortable and less nervous about following the advise of someone else 
justine wrote:
I understand, but it is not so much following my advice, as it is following a plan.
I know it’s hard to trust whats on the internet with so many people who just take your money, and run.
But if you read my Blog, and our forum it should give you a good idea about who I am.
And once you understand the kind of person I am, you will instantly know that I would NEVER advise people to do something that I wouldn’t do myself.
I take what I do very seriously…I care about the people who come to me for help, and highly value their trust…it’s worth more than money to me.
well i hope you know you’re appreciated too! reading all of this stuff in the past week has helped me a lot! im glad i found it so soon after breaking up. thankyou
Hi Scott,
I tried to call my ex and set up a short meeting.
He yelled at me and asked me why did I call him?
I told him calmly that I called just to ask how he was and nothing else.
He seemed irritated and said Iam busy and cant talk to you now.
I said its fine for you to not talk to me but there is no need to be rude on someone who is being just a courteous caller.
He said its my wish.I told him you dont shout at your friends right.Then who has given you the right to shout at me as no one deserves to be shouted at especially when Iam no longer your girl.He did not reply.I told him thanks a lot.It was nice knowing you and hung up.After 30 days of NC and after having given him the space he asked for and acting with dignified calmness I think I have realised that this relationship was never meant to be.I deserve better and hope and wish he deserves someone who can tolerate him.I think my happiness is more important than him.I have understood a lot about myself in the last few weeks and I think my personal evolution is more important than my ex lover.This closure is what I wanted I guess and its nice to understand that this drama is over
Pinky wrote:
That is the key to getting your life back, and the whole purpose behind using the free plan on my Blog.
Once you have moved on from the old relationship for good…things start to happen.
But, in the meantime you have your life back now go enjoy your life.
justine wrote:
I am glad I could help you!
Hello , im not sure if you can help me but Im realy scared, me nd my fiance had been together for 2 years, we have had many problems and arguments over me trusting him, due to the fact he cheated on me when we was going through a bad time a year ago…it really hurt me but I love him so much and he told me and i respected him for telling me hence i took him back.
We moved to spain for a short while and it didnt work out so we moved back, to London, since we been back we have been renting a new apartment, we been here for 2 months now, until this week i have found it really hard to trust him and i’ve argued for reasons which dont even matter.
I have started to panic, as it all got to much, and he ended it as i couldn’t trust him. I reacted in a bad way and tryed to harm my self and ended up in hospital.
He pciked me up and took me back to our apartment from the hospital, when we got home we had a chat, and hugged and we both cryed, and he said it aint easy for him and he loves me so much but he can’t live his life like this.
I begged for him to stay and told him to help me, he said he will help me get better by taking me counciling, but he can’t be with me, in a relationship.
Ive begged him to give it me one last chance but he keeps saying its not going ot happen as he dont feel the relationship is movin anywhere.
I have been constantly texting him tryin to make him give this relationship a go but he is sticking to his decision, and the conversation gets heated from his side.
he says he loves me but his had enough and dont want to be unhappy any longer.
i dont know what to do anymore i love him so much and want him back, i feel really scared and don’t want to loose him, my sister has told me not to contact him anymore and to wait for him.
But i think its to late as i have pleged to promise him that i will trust him, and to give the relationship one more shot.
sorry i hope you understand what im trying to say (we are a gay couple)
Thank you
Jay Vek wrote:
Hi Jay,
It’s never too late to start doing things correctly.
Go to the top of my Blog and find the link to the free plan, and start at the beginning and follow each and every step, OK?
After you get started with the free plan…I would highly suggest you seek out some counseling for your trust issues.
me and my exboyfriend have been dating since aug he is a great guy but i dont know what his problem is if he is scared or what but in the beginning it was all about our future together then he would break up with me like 3 times now needs alone time, says i need someone better than him, doesnt make enough money to take care of me, its always something that i have told him i dont care about. i just want him we have never had a fight we get along great. we have incredible intimate time together he always says no one else like me. when we are broke up which so far has been the most of like 2weeks. he still texts me everyday something how r u doing, or just idle talk, i have told him i miss him before and he will say me 2??? i definatly have done the no contact thing and it does work, and i have just contacted him once he does me? but what now does this man love me or want me or gonna come back to me or what? i really do love him
kandyie wrote:
Hi Kandyie,
He sounds confused, and using the free plan on my Blog will help both you and him get back on track.
The way we do no contact works much better than the conventional way.
You can’t let him have his cake (space) and eat it too (keep in contact with you daily) otherwise this could go on forever, understand?
The link to the free plan is at the top of my Blog.
can you help me get my ex boyfriend back, please help ok heres my story he broke up with me 2 weeks ago and im devestated i really want him back but i dont know how ive made mistakes like calling him and begging him back but i dont know what to do we had sexual intercourse last night but he doesnt me back,and he wont talk about the break up what shall i do to get him back and fast pleas ehelp me im desperate i love him x
Gemma wrote:
Hi Gemma,
It sounds like your stuck in the the “just friends with benefits” zone, but most of the benefits are his, huh?
If you’re really serious about fixing this situation, and getting your ex back you need to follow the free plan on my Blog.
The link is at the top of my Blog.
It’s time to take action!
S.W.
Hey there!
So I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of months ago because we used to go to the same college but I moved home to take some time off school and I just didn’t want to deal with the whole long distance thing. I knew he wouldn’t want to deal with it either so I just got it over with. We’ve stopped saying the “L” word to each other and we don’t talk nearly as much as we used to but he still calls me and tells me he misses me and wants to be with me. He’s just started dating a girl a few days ago and I’m furious because I’m going back to school (the same one we both went to, and he still attends), and I was hoping we could get back together but now I don’t know if that’s even an option. I’m also confused because he tells me he wants to be with me but now he’s with another girl.
I don’t want to be a homewrecker but I want my boyfriend back. I’ll pretty much do anything to get him to break up with her and be with me. What can I do?!?!
Thank you! xoxo
Megan wrote:
Hi Megan,
Dating is not the same as being married…so I wouldn’t call wanting to get your ex boyfriend back…home wrecking.
Plus he told you he wanted to be with you…so he is still mixed up.
If his current girlfriend gets hurt it is pretty much because he started dating too soon after you two broke up.
If you would like to explore the possibilities of whether your ex still has the same feelings you do, you can follow the free plan on my Blog.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi, me and my boyfriend dated for two months during the summer. We broke up cuz he thought i was accusing him of cheating and i think he thought i was a whore lke his ex girlfriend who he had witnessed cheating on him but that was over a year ago. And now he said he just wants me to leave me alone, and not talk to him, but the other day he texted me cuz i was ignoring himnand said he wants to put the past behind us and just be friends and it was all a mistake and he wasnt ready for a girlfriend!!! So i dont know if he likes me or what is going on, cuz its seems just when i fel lik ei am ovr him he comes crawling right back to me
Cara wrote:
Hi Cara,
If you want to take control of your current situation take a look at the free plan on my Blog.
If you follow every step you will learn a lot about yourself, and your ex too.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi S.Williams
So here’s my story I’ve been in a relationship for a year and a month with my ex boyfriend but everything started to go wrong about a month ago and last week he broke up with me. We were in a long distance relationship, not that far but we’d only see every 3 month or more because of our busy schedule at college/uni/work. So when we first started dating I was scared sometimes that he’d leave me one day cause of my bad experience in the past, so I use to run away and leave him quite often but he’d always catch me back. This august I went at his and stayed for a whole month, everything was perfect, we had little fights sometimes but it always went smooth after. When I came back to my house, it was still okay until I told him that I might be moving to our hometown which is like really far from here and I asked him what he wanted to do then he told me he didn’t wanna go back there so I broke up cause I felt like he didn’t want a future with me. But I understand better now that I was wrong to do this cause he did want one just not there. Then I asked him back out he accepted but said things won’t be the same cause he felt like I’m always gonna keep leaving him. A week after I had enough because every little things i’d tell him he’d get so angry and say that I kept complaining, I still stayed with him. He says he’s just had enough of my attitude of being over jealous and stuff like that, I’ve read your blog and I agree that I changed I became a bit possessive but he says he still loves me but he broke up last week and said we’ll never get back ever! I kinda panicked and started doing the texting terrorism thing but the day after I came across your blog I stopped I did the NC thing and I’m not sure If It’s working; I would go out have status and stuff up on facebook and msn and just after he’d put something too. It’s weird I don’t get it. Anyway yesterday I spoke to him because I’m going where he lives in a week time and I asked If he wanted see me, he answered that he wants to see me but that he felt it was too early for us to stay in the same house so I shouldn’t stay at his but at my friends but that we’ll still see. I’m confused he says It’s too early for what, is he scared that he’d probably try kiss me or something?!. I just spoke to him now I told him that It’s fine I won’t stay at his and I asked him If he really wants to see me because I don’t want pitty or anything I told him If he didn’t want to I won’t see him but then he’s like no If I didn’t want to see you I wouldn’t say I want to. And I just told me shall we talk like when we first met forgetting our history he said great idea we just spoke for about 30 minutes he even came on webcam showing me the improvements in his body (he does body building) he was laughing and seemed cool. I don’t know what to do next! He said we can talk this week sometimes, I’m scared I will see him next Sunday but do you think he still wants me? What should I do on the “friendly” date or say? I don’t want to ruin everything I worked for, It was hard doing NC for a week! and now he’s actually talking to me without being agressive! I will be in France only for a week so I’m scared should I just go for it or play it cool? Help!
Thanks in advance!
Nicole wrote:
Hi Nicole,
Are you following the free plan on my Blog?
I highly suggest you follow that for at least 30 days before trying to move forward.
Especially when your ex has proclaimed you will never get back together again.
Thanks for replying! I actually just checked this and I think I’m going to try follow it this week see what happens!
Thank you
Well, this guy used to be crazy about me. He would do anything to keep me happy. The thing was, I treated him horribly and never made it official, even though he wanted to. He started getting distant, and eventually lost feelings for me. I learned a whole lot from this experience, and we remain good friends.
I’m finding it extremely hard to stop all contact, he’s a great guy and I can’t help but feel like one day he’ll come back to me.
-We still text/call eachother everyday
-Everytime I ask to hang out, he’ll come by and he’ll always insist on paying for me
-He still cares about me, and supports me when I’m stressed
I am having trouble getting used to not seeing him as often. He doesn’t put in the effort to make plans, unless I ask. But, he still texts me to see what I’m up to on a daily basis.
How should I go about this? Is it possible he might develop feelings again and let go of the past? How should I treat him to prove to him I appreciate him but not be too obsessed? (ie. How often should I call/txt and ask to hang out). I want to prove to him I have changed my ways.
THANKS!
Lauren wrote:
Hi Lauren,
You have fallen into the “friends zone”, and the fastest way out of there is to make a clean break, and start over again.
That means using the no contact rule.
Go to the top of my Blog and find the link that says free plan.
Click on it, and read the free plan.
The sooner you start following every step of this plan…the faster things will change.
It will be hard work, but you want things to change, right?
Take Action Today!
S.W.
Hi S.William,
Long story short: we’ve been broken up for about 9 months now, was together of almost a year, half the time long-distance due to work. He called it off as he said “the spark was going out”. Two months after the breakup, I get an email asking how I was, etc. I replied and we were mailing/IMing almost daily for around 4 months. Most of the conversation was light & fun (deliberatey kept that way by me), and the serious stuff all came from him (like telling me about a girl he dated: he had “nothing bad or incriminating” to say about me, and the girl actually suggested we get back together!). The calls between us was also his idea (read: he missed tallking to me I guess).
After 4months, I decided I couldn’t keep up the non-committal routine any longer if it wasn’t leading somewhere, so I just asked him was there any chance for us still. His response: not at the moment, he’s got a lot of stuff on his plate, blah, blah, blah. I broke off all contact with him at that point, the last thing being an email where I explained that I still had feelings for him, but I couldn’t take the are-we-or-aren’t-we anymore and thus was calling it off. I also told him that like it or not his actions were all pointing to that he was still really into me (he initiated most of the conversations, kept making references to how much fun we had together, lots of flirty comments and compliments…)
I get a mail 3 weeks later, basically apologizing for the whole thing.
Verbatim: “I hate myself for putting yourself through so much confusion and can’t believe I didn’t think it through before getting in touch with you. I still care for you… perhaps more deeply than anyone outside my personal family. Which is why the last few months were so good sharing things with you again. Once you spell it out makes me realize how selfish I really am to just want a best friend but not commit to the relationship”. Goes on to wish me well, and that I deserve more than what he could ever offer. I never responded.
Fast forward 3 months later, and i still love him as much as ever. I know he’s already spelled it out its THE END, but can’t help but still wish somehow things would still work out. I know my chances are pretty much zero, but doesn’t stop me from hoping.
PS the LDR will have to be a fact of life even if we get back for at least another yr.
pamela wrote:
Hi Pamela,
The only advice I could offer you is to give the free plan a try…what have you got to lose?
The link to the free plan is at the top of my Blog.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi Williams,
I have seeing my ex for about 8 months and got pregnant he asked to have an abortion but i couldnt go thru another abortion again so he broke up with me. He is the man i ever fell in love with. it’s really hard to focus on me because we work together. we really didnt have time to miss each other. When I was about 3-4 months preg he met someone else. I asked him if he loves her he told me no. Back in september we started to see each other on a regular basis until now. I found out that he broke with her at that time but they got back together couple days ago. I love him and he is the father of my unborn child. I dunno what to do anymore. I need to know how to approach him about the fact that we never really talked like adults about where this is going specially that a child will be involve soon. please help me.
coke264 wrote:
Hi Coke,
You can’t make someone act like an adult if they don’t want to.
The fact that he asked you to have an abortion tells me he doesn’t want to be a father.
You made the decision to have this child, and you should face the fact that you will most likely be raising that child by yourself…nothing wrong with that.
Just make sure you get child support from him…no reason he shouldn’t be financially responsible for making babies.
As far as getting him to reach out to you…follow the free plan on my Blog…to the letter, and you will have the best chance at reconciliation.
Good Luck!
S.W.
Hi william well i have no idea how to start me and me ex dated for almost 3 or 4 years recently this i told him that i was going to mexico for my last trip. I said last trip because we well i was sure that i wanted and we planned to get married. he did’t want me to go but didn’t exact told me the reason not to go. it was just 2 months and a half sure enough texted and he called me almost every day and said that love me few months passes and i was back in california. the firts 2 weeks was fine and then one week stopped coming and later said to forget about him. one night told me that he doesn’t like me and that he cheated on me and his getting married and his having a child soon. So i ask myself and i asked him What was the rush for? if i was there on his side all the time all those years. that night i never seen him cry and that night he cried. sense then he stopped texting me like before. i can’t stop thinking about him or my feelings towards him. how can someone that told you all the time he will love me forever just stopped liking me. we had our differences but we managed to pull through. but know that women is having a baby its changed. he texting me to tell me how i’m i doing and all that, i tell him that he knows how i feel. And i told him how my life is without him and says to me ” That i was and still i’m for him someone very important in his life and not to worry that everything will be ok that we will be together on of this days that his sure of it and that he misses me sometimes” i’m still confused because of his cheating and lied to me i would love that to be true but yet i dont know if he lied to me once again.
Alma wrote:
Hi Alma,
The best way to sort this whole mess out is one piece at a time…step-by-step, right?
Well…
You can do that by following the free plan…you can find the link at the top of my Blog.
He’s not married yet…so there is still time to sort this all out.
But you have to take serious positive action today.
Take Care,
S.W.
Williams,
My ex and I have been on and off and we’re on our third major break up now. It’s been two weeks since I talked to him (and begged and pleaded him) but then he said he needed space. I didn’t contact him after “agreeing” with him for the space he wanted (as what I’ve been told to do on other help-me-get-my-ex-back websites). I showed and still showing that I’m happy and contented with my life and am not showing any bitterness at all. I’m just worried if this tactic is not working because until now (after two weeks) there has been no development, only when he returned yesterday the book he borrowed from me NOT personally but only through a friend. I can’t even say if that’s a “development” or our relationship falling apart.
Also, can you suggest things to do to prevent breakups, if God wills that I get him back again?
Mary Beth wrote:
Hi Mary Beth,
Before you worry about what to do when you get your ex back, let’s focus on getting your life back first, OK?
If you follow the steps in the free plan on my Blog (top middle of Blog) you will learn what went wrong, and plan on how to prevent yourself from falling back into these old bad habits again…make sense?
Your version of no contact isn’t working…but the version in the free plan does work, so the sooner you put it into action the better.
Take action today!
S.W.
I broke up with my exboyfriend a year and a half ago and he blocked me from his facebook and I called him a few times but there was no talk on getting back together it was just to say hi and how are you. I stopped calling him and didn’t have any contact with him for a few months, he unblocked me on facebook a month ago and started talking to me. one of his messages was an angry one about me having a guy I dated on my friends list and one of them was asking me out on a date. so he came over and cuddled like when we were still together but NO SEX , I did not allow that and told him so ahead of time he told me he wasn’t over for sex or to get me back he just wanted to see if I was ok. the next day he emailed me and said he had fun and we should do it again soon. I started asking questions as to why he wanted to hang out with me if he had no intention of having sex or being with me. and he replied that he misses me and then said we could hang out once in a while. he is sending me mixed messages and I don’t know what to think of it.
skye wrote:
Hi Skye,
He was checking to see if you still have feelings for him.
Because you allowed him to come over and cuddle, he probably figures after a few more cuddling sessions you will get horny, and break down…it’s only a matter of time.
You are only human, right?
My advice would be to take control of this situation by following the free step-by-step system on my Blog.
Draw a line in the sand, and find out his “true” intentions.
NC has a funny way of making the truth come out…it’s like a truth serum.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi S.Williams,
I had been dating my boyfriend for a year when we broke up in June. Before our breakup, things were always very rocky because we were away at separate colleges and not seeing each other would cause stupid fights and fake breakups. His problem was that he always wanted me with him, so he would expect me to just hang out with only him and his friends, or travel three hours every weekend to visit him at his school. The reason we fought so much was mainly because he would never come to me, I always had to go to him. So after a year of that, he comes home and we start fighting. He claimed he didn’t like the way I had been acting and that I hadn’t made him happy in months. I can admit, I am a hot-head, so instead of being rational and talking it out, i broke up with him. For two weeks after that, he tried to talk to me and hang out with me but I didn’t let him, he didn’t understand that I was hurt. So finally, we decided to meet up and everything was going great, because he was acting like we were still dating. Then I brought up the idea of getting back together after we had some time apart and he suddenly he got all mad and said that it didn’t work like that and that he’s not in love with me anymore and that it was done. Now I’m embarrassed about this next part; For the rest of the summer, I tried to get him to speak to me constantly, trying to get him to talk things out and work it out with me. I realized that by trying to do that, I pushed him farther away. So every time I tried to talk to him, he would be really mean and tell me to go away and a lot of hurtful things. Finally, the end of the summer comes and he told me that I could see him before he left to go away again. So, I saw him and first thing he did was kiss me. After a whole summer of yelling, he kisses me. And he tells me that we can’t date now because he doesn’t love me anymore but maybe eventually we could end up together who knows. So that was that. He left to go to school, and continued having an attitude whenever I tried to speak to him. Finally, this Thanksgiving break, he came home. We agreed to hang out and once again he was acting like we were dating, but he still said that he loves me but he doesn’t want to be with me and if we did get back together right now, he wouldn’t have any feelings. Since he left to go back to school, we’ve been talking daily and this time he’s not mean – he talks to me just like he used to talk to me before. He tells me that he’s young and doesn’t know what he wants right now. I don’t know if he’s scared that if we dated again, we’ll still have the same problems or what. I just wish things could work out for us.
Allison wrote:
Hi Allison,
You can make things work out by using the free plan on my Blog.
You will find the link to it at the top of my Blog.
Follow all the steps…no changes, and you will begin your personal evolution, and your journey back to happiness.
Take Care,
S.W.
Dear S.W.
I have to written here before. I have been in the process of getting my ex bf back for last several months. I went out with friends, went gym and all that. We started talking again (thru IMs mainly..we are long distance). He became very comfortable telling me everyting.
Finally, we met. Things went good. He gave out all the right signals. He was quite touchy feely with me and we talked very freely except our breakup part. I was cautious about not bringing up any bad memory at all during this visit. I kinda gave off the vibe that I am totally cool with everything, but also made sure he knows I enjoy his company and still like him.
Anyways, I have been back at home and we still talk in IMs frequently. Normally this lasts an hour or two (IM has been our convo media during our long distance relationship too).
He still hasn’t given me any signals that he’d consider getting back together. He flirts occasionally..like he said he likes how I smelt..and random stuff. He also tells me how easy it was to talk to me, which he doesn’t find with this the new girls he met (didn’t go out with any)
What do you think my next move should be? How long should I keep playing cool? Should I try to find out if he is thinking about me in a special way at all? or since he is not showing any outside signs, just let this go?
He means so much to me. I know my heart can break again but I don’t wanna give up yet.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Elma Thorton
ps. He broke up because he felt we didn’t connect that way anymore.
Elma wrote:
Hi Elma,
I am not sure what plan you followed, or if you were ever a forum member.
There is much more to the personal evolution process than going to the gym and all that.
It is going through this process (as outlined in the free plan) that gets your life back again.
Once you are “really” comfortable without your ex in your life…they want to come back.
If he is playing games with you, don’t make yourself so available to him, and start dating again.
If he really wants you, let him chase you now.
After all you’re “just friends” you are free to date, right?
If he has any real feelings for you, they will start to show when you pay less attention to him, and more to other men…that want to be more than ” just friends”, right?
Stay Strong!
S.W.
i dont think he likes me anymore. the last time we fought..it was on the phone..he called me names and said that i was a bitch and that he hates me. he screamed and throw his phone against the wall. but then the next day he texted saying that he was sorry and he told me not to reply the text. so i didnt. and i havent been contacting him since then. he said that he only loves me as a friend.
before the fighting we kinda met for a while. i told him that i was disappointed with him and he cried. i dont know what was that all about. seeing him cry, i cried as well and he held my hands. then later on said that he only hold my hands to make me feel better and tell me not to get the wrong idea.
and i also think that he’s still in love with his ex. because he keeps talking about her like. “our situation is the same, when my ex left me…bla bla bla” and i was very mad because we’re talking about how he left me.
but anyway, i think he doesnt like me anymore. is there any chance of getting him back?
gnarlyworm wrote:
Hi GW,
If he hates you, and thinks you’re a bitch, then why does he say that he…
gnarlyworm wrote:
I think he is full of shit, and you can prove it by following the free plan on my Blog.
The link is at the top of my Blog.
Take Care,
S.W.
Im very confussed with what he says and what he does. After breaking up with me a month ago. He right away said i could still come out to his parents place for christmas. He will hang out with me but always makes she to tell me that he doesnt love me anymore. Just as friends. He still asks how i am and the whole time we were at his parents for christmas he kept asking if everyone was making me feel comfortable and welcome. He even asked me if i wanted to go for a drive with him and we drove around for like 2 hours. Problem is hes got a lot of his old friends back in his life that didnt like me and i think hes starting to like them. Every time hes with me hes constantly checking his phone. Im not sure i would just like to know that im going to be sending this NC message and that he is actually going to miss me.
Anna wrote:
Hi Anna,
The free plan, and using no contact can not change your ex’s “true” feelings for you.
What it can do is reveal his true feelings, and give you your life back again.
This plan is about getting your life back, and finding out the truth.
If you stay in the “friends zone” wondering about these things…you could be stuck in there a very long time, do you want that?
If not, it is time to take action and discover the truth.
Go to the top of my Blog and find the link to the free plan, and read it all the way through once, and then start over and follow every step.
Take Care,
S.W.
me and my bf was goin on very very steadily for 2 years and our parents both sides agree but his mum was abit liek tht snobbish kind.
.. im so confused hope u clear my doubts. and he no’s very very well that i m still not over him . our break up reason was because he said he’s mum doesnt agree to our relationship as im abit of the stuck up and sn0bbish
he is very rich compare to me im jus moderate. tahst what makes his mum who is nt okay wt this (i thk so). during our rsip period we even had sex which was the biggest mistake that i ahve done but wat cn i do when things happen oni cn cry for it. but its been 1 n half year nw he still kip in touch wt me call me regularly but when he calls he du talk bout love but talk to me bout he dating a different gal i wonder whather he want me to ahte him for wat he is tellin or he is jus mking me jeles cuz im veyr very possessive. im so confused. he calls me name like honey, darling when he calls me after few beers. he alwiz calls me after drink not and never 1s wen he is sober
Leena wrote:
Hi Leena,
I can not clear your doubts, and tell you his true feelings, but following the steps in the free plan on my Blog can.
This plan is not for “weak” people…only serious people who want to take control of their lives again.
If you feel you’re strong enough, then please go right ahead and start using the plan…if not I wish you luck somewhere else.
It is obvious that when he is drunk his true feelings come out, and he still has feelings for you…what kind of feelings?
Use the free system to find out.
Take Care,
S.W.
dear scott,
my bf broke up with me n i asked him y n he said he didnt like me as much as he thought he did..so what does that mean? does he still like me…or should i just move on because hes a jerk.
ok. here is my story. my ex. one day my x just told me she didn’t want to be with me any more. we did have a lot of problems. and one day that i can back from my mother hose from tree days that i was there. she say to pick up all my cloths and live that she did not want me and her life any more but after i cry and bag for a chance she say she would give me a chance and she say she still love me but she does not miss me. she told me not to call her, just to text her. but i did called her one day so she got mad and did not answer my text. the i when to her house to bag her again for anther chance. and she told me no she say. she did not love me any more and that we would never be lovers again. and that not to touch her because i discus her.and then after some many bagging she say we can be friends but i did not took that i wanted her back so, i took her to work and keep bagging for the chance. and she say she would put a restrain Oder on me and would chance her cell. and then she fake a new girlfriend. she is seeing some one else but the just plying with each other anything serious. does she still love me. should i just let pass a couple of month and the email her. her b-day is in 4 months. i’m planing on email her happy b-day and then after days of that email, i will email her again telling her to give me her new sell that i want to be her friend that i just want a friend ship and nothing else. but that’s going to be the time where she can star trusting me again and i could have a chance.
Memi wrote:
Hi Memi,
You should follow the steps in the free plan on my Blog.
This will help your ex see you’re changing, and it will make them see you differently.
You won’t be begging you will be asking for space of your own.
You have to regain your life/yourself as a single person again before you can re-attract your ex.
Take Care,
S.W.
My ex just called me last nite after 1 week …he read my text of Sun. 1-10-10 which said ‘I miss u hon’…he said he misses me…I asked when he started to miss me and he said right after he told me he did not want to see me anymore…I was very jealous because he keeps in touch with his ex-girlfriend…I asked if we can work it out and he said he does not want to go through that again…what can I do? I am 62 an he is 58.
Please answer ASAP!
Thank u.
Lynda wrote:
Hi Lynda,
Thanks for the age update…but it doesn’t matter how old you are.
Because if it did people over 40 would have figured all this shit out by now, right?
They haven’t and love continues to baffle the shit out of us all.
If you want to take control of your situation, and get your life back with or without your ex, then follow the free plan at the top of my Blog.
If you want to keep chasing your own tail…do nothing.
Take Care,
S.W.
I am 26 yrs old and I’ve been in a relationship with this man who I love so dearly.for 1 1/2 on and off. He had trust issues since pretty much the beginning of our relationship and he had left me numerous times accusing me of something I’ve never done. I feel like I cannot live without him. He is all I want in a man minus his insecurity issues. I move away from my parents in late Sept. to move in with him an hr and a half away. I left my family and my job, to be with the man I love. Everything is going OK since we moved in together, with 1 or two fights. I find out I’m pregnant and I’m left confused. Now I love him and I told him that i wanted to have his child and I do, I was confused only because he wasn’t asking me to marry him and I made all these changes for him and he was showing me no commitment. We would go ring shopping and talk about it, but I felt like it was all empty promises. I ended up lying to him and making a horrible decision. I went back home to my parents and saw my doctor and discussed my options. I ended up thinking all these negative things, like I’m going to be a single mom, he’s never going to marry me and I ended up taking the abortion pill and faked a miscarriage. He knew something was up and he searched my arms for needle holes. I ended up having a bruise and I admitted everything to him. I feel like a monster especially since I do love him and i did want to have his child. I went behind his back and was selfishly thinking only about myself. I regret what I did more than anything. I m so sorry for it, and he left me since he was against abortion and he wanted the baby so bad. He called me a murderer and I’m left not knowing what to do with myself. I lost him and my child. I wish I had thought about it and been honest with him about my feelings so I wouldn’t be in this situation. He still calls every now and then to see how I’m doing and I still show up on him at his place and spend the night. I’m so hurt and I want him back to have another chance. What do you think I should do?
Rina wrote:
Are you having sex with him?
Is he banging a “murder?”
I think he is using the abortion as an excuse to hide his indecision.
If you didn’t want to be a single mother, I think you did the right thing.
He is against abortion, but finds nothing wrong with premarital sex?
Your instinct told you he would bail on you and the baby, and you were right.
But at least now he only bailed on you.
If you really want to find out your ex’s true feelings for you, read the free plan on my Blog (link at the top), and follow all the steps.
Take Care,
S.W.
hi there
my ex boyfriend who im still in love with is confusing me. he tells me that he’s getting married but still talks to me on msn and tells me that i’m prettier than his girlfriend. I dont understand him at all. he would ask me if i can come online at night and he didnt show up, he would reschedule to a different day, but he wouldnt give me his number or Call me. I can tell that he still has feelings for me but won’t admit. What should I do?
lyla wrote:
Hi Lyla,
He is trying to keep you in relationship limbo, he is using flattery to eventually get you to hook up with him.
If he is getting married and is sweet talking you, what does he do when he is with you?
Does he calls his last girlfriend and play the same game?
I would use NC to break out of this confusing situation, use the free plan at the top of my Blog.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hey.
Me and my boyfriend broke up last weekend because he kept accusing me of lying and said he didn’t trust me anymore. See i did lie to him in the past but i completly stopped but when we broke up i asked him if we could still be friends and he said yea…so everything was going good. i asked him if he trust me and he said i had to earn back his trust. but there was this girl on facebook that had added him the day before we broke up and he was telling me that it was me and he knew it but i told him why would i waste my time making some account and he only thought it was me because her birthday was the same day that we starting dating and she is into the same band as him, and has friends that he knows and i do too the ones at our school that we hang out with but she goes to the school right beside ours and there are alot of ppl from our school that are friends with people from that school. anyways i asked him how i could gt his trust back and he said tell me if your this girl or not and i said yes but im not ji just said that so that things would be good with us again, but than he started telling me that i still lied to him about not being that girl ven though he knew i was. but i lied him by saying i was but either way he wouldn’t have believed me. so we got into a fight but today i asked if were still good friends and he said yea and now he’s telling me about his ex girlfriend asking him back out. does that mean he likes me? i do miss him i’ll admitt it but he broke up with me for no reason so it hurts that he doesn’t know that. I wanna go back out with him. but i dunno if he is still into me or has feelings for me anymore…
Jackie wrote:
Hi,
The best way to tell if he is still into you would be to use the free plan listed at the top of my Blog.
Start at the very beginning, and follow all the steps.
Take Care,
S.W.
Ok. Well I Did Read It But What If Say Your The One That Asked To Stay Friends With Him And He Said Yea. But your Always The One Texting Him. Yet He still Replies To Your Texts He Told Me That I’m Different From The Other Ex Girlfriend He Dated Before And That Of Course He would Text Me and When I Asked Him If He Still Wanted to See Me Even Though Were Not Still Togethe He Said Yes. Should I Just Ask Him Questions Like I Was thinking Of Asking him If He Thinks In The Future If I Get Back His Trust If He Can See Us Getting Bck Together…I Don’t Know If thats A good idea Or not..Is It? Or Should I Stop Texting him And Wait For Him to Text Me. ?
Jackie wrote:
But this, but that…bullshit.
You’re just afraid to use no contact, stop making excuses already.
All your excuses don’t mean shit…follow the plan.
Jackie wrote:
I already told you what you need to do…but you don’t want to do it, your choice.
Do whatever you like, but don’t ask my advice unless you intend to follow it, OK?
I am a busy guy.
Take care,
S.W.
My boyfriend and I broke up in December. I did not call him at all for all this time (It’s been 2 months) nor did he reach out but we have mutual friends so I knew what he was doing and he knew what I was doing but I did not call! He expected me to and I didn’t. I was so in love with him and after all this time I was kinda getting over it. It wasn’t hurting as bad. Well guess what he texted me two weeks ago, I didn’t respond then he saw me at a party as I was leaving he was just getting there and we spoke. He texted me again later that day. I waited 4 days and responded simply with a hello Greg, you are too funny which was an appropriate response to what his text said. No response from him yet. I want him back and I think he broke his silence first so where do I go from here. His Bday is March 12. Send me your best advise! Thanks
CJ wrote:
Hi,
I really feel that he is just fishing around to see if your “still on the hook”, which you are.
Once he finds out you still have feelings for him, he will pull away again…why?
Because you never followed a plan, or used NC correctly.
There is A LOT more to it then just ignoring your ex until they contact you…a lot more.
You need to follow the free plan on my Blog, and send the recommended NC message (word for word), and then follow the rest of the steps.
That is my BEST advice.
Take Care,
S.W.
My ex-boyfriend and I dated for a year and 2 months. We spent New Year’s eve and New Years day together. A month later he told me he doesn’t feel the same about me and he doesn’t love me the same way as I love him. He said “I only love you as my best friend.” He said he needed time to figure some things out (his major and career). I was so heart broken. I was a wreck for a few days too.
Then a week of no communication, he texted me saying “I miss hanging out with you” we started texting eachother back and forth for the night then he said “wanna get lunch tomorrow?” So we got lunch a few days later (because my schedule was full) and everything was normal… friend wise.
We hung out together a few days later at his house (he had people over). I ended up staying with him and we had sex.
The next day, he told me he still sees “us” in the future. That made me really happy!
We started to talk and he brought up the fact that I wouldn’t be here with him next year (I’ll be going to Dental Hygiene school that is 45 mins away). He said he doesn’t think he can do a long distance relationship because he has done it before & things didn’t work out. I got really angry because when we are not in school, he is 5 hours away from me. During the summer we would drive to eachother every other week just to be together! It pissed me off because he said that!
So we stopped talking for a another week. And guess what he texted me again! He said he like to see me soon. Our friend (we have a lot of mutual friends) had people over so we ended up going to the same party.
We talked, he flirted – this time he ask if I wanted to go home with him, I said no this time. A few hours later he ask if he could come over, being a sucker I said yes. We had sex again.
We have had sex every now and then.
We started to talk a lot and he would invite me over to watch tv with him. And when we do watch tv, he is all over me (nothing sexually)! Like for instance, he did the “arm stretch,” then started to rub my arm and waist then he layed his head on my chest and was just holding me.
He even made me my favorite food to eat! We ate it together out of the same bowl & spoon! He then started to tease me and starting to tickling me. We ended up on the floor and he was on top of me. Then he came in with a kiss! I was scared I would get hurt again, so i said I have to go. And he said “no, don’t go stay!” and I said no i really have to go. He asked if he could come with me, and i said i don’t care. So he packed for the night. When we were in my car, he said do you really want me to come over/ And i said i don’t care if you want to then come. He grabbed my hand and said i do. so he stayed the night. the next morning we got lunch (I paid).
We talked after but it’s been 2 days there isnt a lot of communication…
i don’t know what to do. i am doing the “no contact” rule.
Jessica wrote:
Hi Jessica,
If you’re not following the free plan (every step) on my Blog (which you’re obviously not), you are NOT using NC correctly.
The link to the free plan is at the top of my Blog.
Take Care,
S.W.
So I messed up by responding huh? Damn! Well is it too late because I can go away like I did for 2 months, even longer. I just find other things to do and go out with other guys. I didn’t think I said anything in my message that would make him think I was ready to jump in bed with him but I guess I shouldn’t have said anything at all? Can I start over or is it too late because I’m thinking he will think I am going to reach out again but I’m certainly am not!
@ CJ:
I already told you what to do…follow the free plan.
Start from the beginning, and do every fucking step…no questions.
You would already be on your way if you weren’t wasting yours, and mine time posting another comment about the same old shit.
Some people fucking kill me, they come to my site and say help me I have a problem…”I’m Hungry”.
I say here is some free food.
Do they just say thanks and eat it, solve their problem and be happy?
Hell No!
They have to ask more questions. :banghead:
What hand should I hold the free food in?
Should I eat it now or later?
I have been hungry for a long time, is it too late to eat?
You came with a problem, I gave you a “free” solution…use the fucking solution, and solve your problem.
That is how it works, if you don’t like the free food I offered you, go look somewhere else, that’s all I have.
Anymore questions, or are you going to read, and follow the plan?
i read the plan, i definitely did not do it right.
thanks scott!
i’ll let you know what happens when something happens!
S.DUBB , I FUCKED UP BIGTIME . I ENDED UP TEXTING MY EX TODAY AFTER 12 DAYS OF NC , ABOUT 5 SECONDS AFTER I SENT IT SHE CALLS ME AND STARTS ASKING HOW I BEEN , HOW’S LIFE TREATING ME , HOWS MY MY FAMILY , SEEMED TO BE VERY INTRESTED. THEN SHE’ LIKE SHE’S GOING THRU SOME STUFF WITH HER FAMILY BUT SHE CANT TELL ME CUS WERE NOT FRIENDS . ONCE AGAIN ME TALKING TO HER AND TELL NG HER HOW I FELT GOT ME NOWHERE SMFH !! NOW I’VE DECIDED TO FUCKING STICK TO THE PLAN LIKE A FUCKIN MAN THIS TIME BECAUSE IM TIRED OF FEELING LIKE THIS. I SENT THE NC MESSAGE AGAIN ABOUT 5 MINS AFTER WE HUNG UP AND SHE CALLS ME AND IS LIKE IS THAT MESSAGE FOR ME , IM LIKE NOO I SENT IT TO THE WRONG PERSON THAN SHES LIKE NO DONT BE SARACASTIC ETC I REALLY WANNA KNOW , THEN SHES LIKE OKAY FINE , SO I SAY FINE AND HANG UP. THAN SHE TEXTS ME SAYING REFERRING TO THE NC MESSAGE SAYING ” YOU DEADASS GET ME MAD WITH THESE DUMB ASS TEXTS. TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED WHEN U DONE I WONT BE THERE. NO LIE YOU COULD PACK IT UP. I REALLY DONT CARE NOMORE.” IM A FUCKING IDIOT FOR NOT FOLLOWING A FREE PLAN WHEN EVERYTHING ELSE WAS WRONG , FINALLY REALLY HIT ME AND IM READY NOW FOR SURE. SHE SAID SHE THAT I SHOULD TAKE ALL THE TIME I NEED AND WHEN IM DONE SHE WONT BE THERE , WHAT DO U THINK , IS THIS JUST A REACTION OR IS SHE REALLY SICK OF THE NC TEXTS AND ME BREAKING THEM. IS IT TOO LATE ? IM READY FOR THE PLAN NOW , I PROMISE TO GOD.
ED wrote:
She is sick of you taking control, and then losing it.
I think she is really anxious for you (someone) to take control of your fucked up situation.
She can’t do it obviously, so she is hoping you can.
You really need to focus and follow through for the both of you, or you two will be stuck in relationship limbo for a long time.
The free plan is waiting, just send the NC message again, and then do not answer her calls, or respond to her NC messages.
The plan works, if you stick to it, if you need personal support, follow the steps in the free plan, and you will find a great free tool.
Stay Strong! :rambo:
S.W.
lol thanks Dubb , i got this man ! i dont think its necessary to send another nc message thought because i already did today and she called me asking did i send that to her and i was like yes and shes like blah blah blah , then we hang up . Than thats when she texts me tlkin bout she wont be there when im ready or w.e , but i didnt respond so im still good . i wont fail this time , ima take all the time i need to heal fuck 3O days , i tried my hardest the wrong way now ill try my hardest the right way
ED wrote:
See, that’s the part that worries me…don’t pick up her calls anymore…it sets you back.
Why do you think she called…to see if you would pick up, she was calling your bluff.
ED wrote:
That’s right…ignore her texts, and wait she will get even sneakier, and really try to freak you out :willy_nilly: and make you break NC.
Just remember it is all bullshit, you are in control, and she is the one who will panic now…be prepared.
Stay Strong! :rambo:
S.W.
me and my ex started talking again to try to start over. but we hung out this weekend and he was goin through my pictures and he seen a picture of this guy he doesnt like. he know i used to talk to him and i think it bothered him. and i asked him if he was mad and he said “no, i dont care”. but he hasnt text me nor called me since we hung out. i dont know what to do. i really like my ex still but i dont want to blow up his phone nor push him aways even more. what should i do!?!
jocelyne wrote:
jocelyne
wrote:
Wow that was a big effort on his part.
Why don’t you give the free plan a try, and give yourselves some time and space.
This plan will reveal your ex’s true feelings, if you stick with it long enough…at least 60 days or more.
The link is at the top of my Blog.
Take Care,
S.W.
So I did the no contact rule 3 weeks. I think it worked because…
He texted me seeing how i was doing 2 weeks ago. & wanted to get together.
So we have had lunch every now and then. And he would invite me to come over because he had people over. We have slept together about 3 times with in those 2 weeks. We started to hang out a lot, obviously. & everything was going great.
Well I didn’t talk to him at all last weekend, because I went home (first time since we didn’t talk at all after the first 3 weeks)
On Monday, my friend told me he had something to tell me about my ex. My friend asked my ex if he was trying to get back together with me because we’ve been hanging out a lot and my ex response was “Maybe, she is a really good girlfriend. I really like this freedom I have right now…be single”
So, I just assumed he still has feelings for me but rather be single because we just broke up.
Then we hung out on Monday night and had fun. I stayed the night too because we didn’t have class until 11 the next day. I woke up at 9am (from him kissing my lips) When I fully awoke, we just laid in bed chatting. He was so flirting with me too! Like he would kiss my neck, hold my hand, tickle me, rub my tummy, etc (very physical!). At one point I told him I miss us doing this every morning and he said me too. He pulled me in, kissed my head and was holding me. So that made me think wow he really does like me (i know i sound really stupid)! Then we got ready for school and parted ways.
I barely talked to him yesterday because he said he has a lot homework. But the whole time i kept thinking about him and thinking about us and what he told my friend and thought maybe he likes me again but doesn’t want to say anything..
So trying to initiate things (thinking 5 weeks was good enough) I talked to him today and told him “I think i might be falling for you again – I didn’t think I would to be honest.” (hoping he would say the same thing) and he said “maybe we should take some time away from each other” and I said “yeah, but I enjoy hanging out with you, even if we are just friends” and he said “I do too, but maybe we should wait a little while to hang out again” so I said “I feel like we just broke up again, lol. but I’m okay if we don’t hang out for awhile. I think it will be best.”
So now I am really confused. I am not sad or depress about it (which is a really good thing). What I am is confused. When he broke up with me he said he “needed time to figure somethings out and still see us together again just don’t know when.” I have a feeling this is going to take longer than I expected.
I am going to give him the space, because I also need it to. Do you think what I am doing/have done is right?
Kimberly wrote:
Hi,
I think you are kidding yourself, if you think what you have been doing is going to work.
He will get lonely, horny, and call you to get “the benefits”, and that’s about it.
If you want to use a “real” plan to reveal your ex’s true feelings, use the free plan on my Blog.
The link is at the top of my Blog, just read, and follow all the steps…without doubt or question…why?
One, because the plan works, and two, because if you don’t believe in the plan, why bother to follow it at all, right?
It’s free, it’s waiting…go use it.
Take Care,
S.W.
P.S. please don’t reply and ask me to interpret your ex’s words, I am not a mind reader, and they don’t matter anyways.
The free plan will get you all the answers you need, if you follow it correctly.
Hi Scott,
My bf dumped me around 3 weeks back. At that point I told him that I agreed with his decision and that it would give me the opportunity to reassess my feelings. Since then I haven’t contacted him at all. We broke up after a very bitter argument when he was drunk and I was terribly emotional
We had been having problems for only a month prior to that when he suddenly decided that things weren’t fine. And he decided this in my absence while I was overseas.
I think he has psychological issues – something his mum has pointed out to me. This probably has been triggered by his job loss last November. Now he’s blaming me for everything – even for his binge drinking and financial problems.
He has told me never ever to contact him and I don’t know this person anymore. He was the one who had chased me…told me he loved me and moved cities to be with me and now he’s kicked me out of his life cos he’s enrolled in uni and doesn’t want the pressures of a relationship. I love him deeply and while I have done the no contact flawlessly he hasn’t contacted me even once
He did ask a mutual friend in the first week about me and spoke to him at length about how he only cared now and was livid I had spoken to his dad. He had also mentioned that he was sure I would make him beg if he ever wanted to come back to me. My friend told him that would not be the case and also told him I only spoke to his dad out of concern.
I had sent one email to him to let him know his bills were still arriving here – this was a week back. No answer. I sent him another email y’day to ask for the money he owes me. He wrote back saying the following:
===============================
Yep that should be fine..
Have u still got the boxes with my stuff in it!? I need to organise to pick it up somehow.
Hope ur well
===============================
Yes all his stuff’s still here – including his passport. I replied back:
===============================
Great! Thanks heaps
Yes of course all your stuff is safe. Take your time with it – I know you have other things to take care of.
Have you redirected the mail? If not what do you want me to do if I receive any? Send them to your parents place? I have been returning to sender so far.
===============================
No response!!
Is he indifferent or merely suppressing his feelings?
Please give me some insight and guide me.
I really think I need another month before I am over the pain and in a situation to test waters.
Also he is not in a normal situation so I don’t think the usual NC messages will work on him yet.
Thanks in advance and looking forward to your advise!!
Rhia wrote:
You need to send the recommended NC message word for word, and then follow the rest of the free plan.
Rhia wrote:
If he has a mental illness consult a mental health professional, not a website to get your ex back, OK?
All I have to offer is the free plan, for people without mental illnesses.
If you feel the free plan will not fit your situation, please seek the appropriate professional help.
Good Luck!
S.W.
“Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.”
Hi once again..!!
I know you have advised me to send the NC message.
But I just want to ask you one thing. Shouldn’t I get a grip over myself before I initiate anything? It’s coming upto a month now and I am feeling better slowly. I am scared that if I drop him a message then I will put my hopes again and it might be a step backwards. On the other hand if I can wait a little longer – another month – then I will be in much better shape and it won’t hurt if he doesn’t respond.
I am thinking of my well-being at this point – knowing just how much I have been in pain and have struggled to get through this last 3 weeks without contacting him at all.
Another query was can I send the NC message to him via email? I have told him I don’t have any of his contact details – but it won’t be a problem sending him a message via facebook.
Thanks in advance
I don’t know if this the place for this. but i haven’t spoken or seen my ex all month. Short and sweet we spoke today. I tried to keep it about 10 minutes. I told I had to go but she keep talking. I asked her to lunch but she is sick. but she did say she would go next week when she is better. I know belive it when it happens. Better off today than I was. she talking now. before she wouldn’t even talk to me.
Hi Scott,
I just emailed my ex telling him about a legal notice that arrived at my address. I also added that I still cared for him and that if he wants to talk am open to it.
Was this fine?
Rhia wrote:
Hi,
I answered your initial question, and part of that reply was to read, and follow the free plan.
This is a self-help program, you have to read, and help/guide yourself.
All your questions are answered directly, or in-directly in the free plan.
The link is at the top of my Blog.
Take Care,
S.W.
@ bill:
Hi,
If you seek a plan to follow to get your life/ex back, feel free to use the free plan on my Blog.
This is a self-help program, you have to read, and guide yourself.
Take Care,
S.W.
Thanks Scott.
I am going through the plan. Do I have to start another month of no contact before I can send a NC message now that I have sent this email? I am not clear about this.
Btw I cannot open the link to see the NC messages.
Regards
Rhia wrote:
I tested all the links, they work fine.
My ex bf and I ended very amicably. I have just recently stopped initiating contact with him. (About a week ago) and he has since contacted me 3 or 4 times over txt msg. He cannot see my transformation because we live hours away from eachother, but I think he is surprised that I’ve suddenly stopped trying to get a hold of him. I think its working, but I’m also afraid that I will make a wrong move and he’ll move on. We did decide we could date other people, and he said he’s been on a few dates. We broke up because of distance, but the distance never bothered him before so I’m sure the spark was lost. Now that he’s kind of back to contacting me where do I go from here. What’s the next step? especially since we live in different cities? My original plan was to move in with him this summer, and now that’s not on the table, I’d love to be back by then so we can do that and grow together. Thanks.
pat wrote:
Hi Pat,
That is not the same as using the NC strategy correctly.
There is much more to NC then to just stop contacting your ex.
pat wrote:
There is no “wrong move” that will make someone who truly loves you “move on”.
Well, if you try to kill him, that might scare him off.
I have talked with people who had their ex’s cheat on them numerous times, and they still want them back.
pat wrote:
Well, since you never used NC correctly, I would suggest that you read the free plan on my Blog, and start from the beginning, and follow every step.
You don’t just want his attention, you want him back, right?
If you said “yes”, then take my advice, and start today.
The link for the free plan is at the top of my Blog.
Take Care,
S.W.
P.S. This plan has worked for people living in different countries, so different cities isn’t a problem.
hey scott….i have been approved to be a forum member, but cannot figure out how to post my breakup story. there is nothing to click to start it???? now can i reply to anyone else’s posts??? am i doing something wrong??? :banghead:
i meant to say NOR can i reply to anyone else’s posts to ask for another’s guidance on doing this…when i click reply nothing happens…. it like doesnt click???
me wrote:
Hi,
You joined yesterday and didn’t follow the forum guidelines you agreed to follow, and you were blocked.
Hint – You are supposed to do the 3 things you said in your request response “right” after you join, not when you get around to it.
This is final, don’t ask to be unblocked.
No one should join the forum until they are ready to take action, and get started.
Anyone reading this, take heed because it will happen to you too.
I have had to deal with way too many “sneaky” people, and these rules are the result.
I am only one person running a Blog and a forum by myself.
I don’t have time to follow people for days to see if they are ‘serious” or not, and if they are going to follow the plan.
I suggest you follow the free plan, and do everything it says because it works.
Too bad you lost your forum privileges, but they are privileges and should be taken very seriously…why?
Because I take what I do very seriously.
If this is not good enough I suggest you look else where for support.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi, my boyfriend who I have been with for almost 4 years broke up with me completely out of the blue this week, said he doesn’t want a relationship anymore and doesn’t think that it works like it used to. I am absolutely devestated and still love him especially as in recent weeks I thought we were getting on great. I have tried to talk to him and tell him I still feel the same but he just wants to remain ‘best friends’. However, he still texts me every day asking me how I am and stuff, should I text him back or not to make him miss me? Does it mean he still loves me, just cares or maybe has a guilty conscience? I’m scared if I don’t text him back nicely that he will go off me completely and move on. I am in desperate need of advice!
Janet wrote:
Hi Janet,
I am glad you found my Blog quickly, the sooner you act, the better.
Janet wrote:
That is what they “all” say…it’s a trick, and a trap.
He just wants to keep you from moving on while he figures out what he “really” wants to do.
Janet wrote:
See? This is what I was just talking about he still has feelings for you, but wants to be “free” too.
You won’t let him keep you trapped, while he plays around, will you?
Janet wrote:
That is really a big myth, your ex will not move on if you use no contact.
He will do just the opposite, and you will have control of your situation again.
I can help you, help yourself, go to the top of my Blog, and find the link for the free plan.
Read the plan all the way through, and then start at the top and follow all the steps.
It is time to turn the tables, and take back control of your break up situation.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi again! I am trying to do the no contact thing but he just texted me saying that he has a day off work tomorrow and asked me if I want to meet him for a bit. Now whenever I have seen him since the break up it’s been quite awkward trying to be friends and I know if I meet him tomorrow it won’t be any different, and if he wanted to talk about us I know he would specifically say that’s what he wanted to do because that’s what he is like. Do i just not text him back? I don’t know why he is clinging on when he broke up with me! Thanks
Janet wrote:
Hi Janet,
So you want my advice?
Yes, text him back, text him the recommended NC message (word for word) as outlined in the free plan on my Blog.
The link is at the top of my Blog.
Janet wrote:
I don’t know either, but I will guess he still has feelings for you, and wants to keep you trapped in relationship limbo while he makes up his mind…screw that!
Use the free plan, and get your life back, and let him waste all the time he wants making up his mind, don’t let him waste yours, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
hi scott,
it’s been almost 2 weeks since i haven’t talked to him. he has contacted me several times, but i ignored it because i felt like he didn’t need to know how i am doing or what i’m up to. :hurray:
one of my good friend told me today that he talked to my ex about me. i asked him what’d he said and he told me he asked my ex if he is going to get back together with me and my ex said “probably at some point.”
i really hate how he thinks he still “has” me. you would think by not contacting him or responding would make him feel otherwise.
how i do get him to think that he doesn’t “have” me anymore? and would want me more
Kimberly wrote:
Hi Kimberly,
This sounds like the perfect situation for the free plan, the link is at the top of my Blog. :thumbup:
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi Scott,
I ran into my ex at a friend’s house last night and he was the first to say hi. I just said hello and didn’t carry a conversation with him.
) Then he asked me if we could get lunch or something, I said I had to check my schedule, so I don’t know.
Later on, he pulled me to the side and put his hand on my waist and asked if we could talk. He told me, I don’t know why, that since we’ve been broken up he hasn’t talked or been with anyone else and it hasn’t even crossed his mind. (I think this is a good sign!
Should I go to lunch with him or keep doing the NC rule?
Kimberly wrote:
Hi,
I recommend sticking with NC for at least another month…Why?
If you reconnect too soon, you will just pick up right where you left off, and you will end up breaking up again…nothing has changed.
You both must evolve past the old failed relationship before reconnecting and starting a “brand new” relationship.
Stay Strong! :rambo:
S.W.
It’s been six weeks of NC. Today, my ex texts me and starts asking me about a guy I had a few dates with. I’m not interested in this guy at all but my ex is definitely jealous. He asked me if we could talk. I told him there’s nothing to talk about. He responded with an okay. Now I’m re-thinking that maybe I should of agreed to talk to him? I’m going to continue with NC. He’s still flirting with every girl he sees right in front of me at school. And I know he’s got plans this weekend to be with a bunch of girls at a party. (I know all of this bc people tell me.) I feel like he’s a totally different person than when we dated and I can’t see myself going back with him as long as he’s acting like this. But now I don’t know if he will contact me again since I rebuffed his text to talk. I guess if he really cares about me then he will try again.
Annie2010 wrote:
Don’t re-think the plan, that is what he wants you to do, why?
Let’s see…you lose control, and he gets back control…nice plan.
You give him an ego boost and he gets confident enough to go after more girls.
Don’t fall for any of this “typical” bullshit people try to pull to get you worried, and come running back to them.
He will be the one who is worried, and it sounds like he already is.
You’re doing great Annie! :thumbup:
Stay Strong! :rambo:
S.W.
Yes, you’re right again Mr. Williams. I actually feel a little empowered bc I put him in his place. He’s acting like some big player at school flirting with every girl he sees right in front of me but really he’s making himself look stupid and turning me completely off. Staying strong!!
hi scott,
so we didn’t end up getting lunch last week, but we did ended up running in to each other at a party…at 3 different ones! It’s hard to not run into him over the weekends because we have the same friends. but he took me home one night because i couldn’t drive. i ended up staying at his house…i know DUMB :cursing: . We didn’t hook up though! We just slept in the same bed, which was surprising!
Well the next day I told him we can’t do that again because I know he probably isn’t ready for a commitment, again. He told me he understands but still wants to hang out and be friends, because he likes having me around.
I was doing really well with the NC rule until I ran into him. It sucks really bad. And I’m starting to think I will never get him back (even though he said he wants to when the time is ready) because it’s been 7 weeks since our break up.
Kimberly wrote:
You what really sucks?
lame ass excuses
I gave you a free map, but if you don’t follow it you are not going to reach your destination.
This problem can be solved if you have the guts to do what is necessary.
Excuses are like assholes, everyone has one, and they usually stink.
You are right, Scott.
I’m glad you don’t sugar coat things. I’m glad you tell me straight up. It’s like a virtual slap in the face. THANKS!
I’m gonna kick this thing in the butt! It’s almost Spring Break for me and I am going on vacation, so that well be an easy week of not seeing him
Did I also tell you that I have been on 2 dates since I started to follow your free plan? (but obviously I am not following it correctly – but now i WILL)
Thank you for listening to my (to all of our) problems!
Kimberly wrote:
You’re Welcome!
Thanks for stopping by.
Take Care,
S.W.
My now ex-boyfriend and I broke up on March 1, 2009. We had been dating for over a year and I will admit that I did not handle it well at first. I turned into one of those girls who couldn’t stop making contact and telling him I loved him and all that stuff. Of course, this made him stop talking to me and avoid me. Originally, the break up was supposed to be a short break, but it turned permanent. For a long time, he couldn’t give me an answer as to why we broke up. Eventually he said it was because I asked him to change so much. However… He changed on his own because he thought that was what I wanted, I never asked him to change for me, and I would have preferred it if he didn’t. Anyways, Summer break started and I went to Georgia for 6 weeks, in these 6 weeks there was minimum contact with him, and I thought I had gotten over him. Unfortunately, when I got back home and saw him again, all of the old emotions came back and I made the same mistake of writing him a letter telling him I missed him. That did not go well and it ended up being blown out of proportion. It has been over a year since we broke up, I have tried dating other people, but it feels completely wrong. I still love him more than anything. I have changed in many ways and I want him to give me another chance. He and I have a lot of common friends that are caught between our breakup, and they feel the need to not invite one of us to a function to avoid awkwardness. He avoids me. I have tried to just talk with him as friends over things that have nothing to do with our history, and yet he still doesn’t give me the time of day. He is one of those guys who does not show emotion, ever. When I tried dating other guys, he would talk to them saying: “THANK YOU for dating her.” “I feel sorry for you”, and “She’s only dating him because he reminds her of me.” This makes him sound like he is not over me, and yet he continually states that he does not love me anymore, doesn’t want to be with me, and never wants to again. A few times I will have been doing good for a few months, and then, out of the blue, he writes me a huge long letter telling me that I “need to get over him.” Even though I hadn’t been doing anything to insinuate that I wasn’t. Like I said before… I love him more than anything, and I at least want some sort of friendship with him because I need him in my life in some way. I don’t know what to do anymore… I have really tried everything I can think of to get over this guy, and nothing is working… Being friends is fine with me, but he just keeps acting so weird around me when I am just myself and normal!
Any advice or insight you can give me would be VERY appreciated…
Also, I have asked to talk to him face to face and he refuses, saying: “I don’t want to talk to you face to face because I don’t want to do anything that would make you think I want to get back together.” If he doesn’t want to get back together, then how would he do something that would make me think that? It makes no sense!
Have I ruined my chances with him? What can I do??
Samantha wrote:
There is your BIG problem, you need him, as long as you need him, you will be screwed.
You need to evolve past this desperate feeling and get your life back again.
Chances are very good once you accomplish this, he will ant you back again.
Go to the top of my Blog, and find the link for the free plan, it is your best chance at getting your life/ex back again.
Take Care,
S.W.
I left my husband three months ago when I found out he was cheating on me. He still has this girlfriend and seems very close to her. However he plays mind games with me and makes sure he still has contact and uses the baby as a way to contact me. When the other girl is around he is a jerk to me but when she isnt he is as nice as pie. He has also told me that he hasnt given up on us 100% but then says that if it wasnt for the baby that he would try again in a heartbeat. What am I to think?
Sara wrote:
Hi,
I don’t know what “you” should think?
But I truly think you are better off without him.
Get some child support (if the baby you refer to, is his), and find someone you can trust…life is way too short to waste on unfaithful liars.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi,i have a question.
.And he gave me the message that he wants me for sex!!!
My ex made some moves to come back BUT he was talking about sexual things
I dont want that thing to happen, cause he didnt treat to me very nice when we were together and he broke up with me without a reason and ofcourse cause i dont find a reason to have sex with him,he had me and he left me.
And i just dont like to have sex without a relationship.
Anyway,the point is how to make him come because of me and not for my body.How to avoid making love with him but not to loose him as a friend??(i dont know if is good to keep him as a friend).
Also(i know its my egoism and no good idea)i would like to play with him until he will deside he wants ME!!!Is that a bad thought??
Thank you
Tinkerbell wrote:
Hi,
Follow all the steps in the free plan on my Blog…the link is at the top.
Take Care,
S.W.
I did all that and the results are as i wrote above.So, i have to do them from the beggining??
Tinkerbell wrote:
Yeah, usually if you want the plan to work, you start at the beginning, and follow ALL the steps for at least 3 months, and then re-evaluate your situation.
This is all laid out in the free plan, but IF you have “already done” all that, you would know that, and would not need to ask me dumb questions, right?
I somehow find it “Real Hard to believe” you have even read the free plan, never mind put it into action.
I don’t know why people come to my Blog and try to bullshit me. :banghead:
If you have anymore questions Tinkerbell, go ask Peter Pan, OK?
I read it.i published my story ,you sent me a msg that i have to publish it somewhere else.i asked you were to post it cause i was confused with the site and im still waiting your reply.
I am not here to bullshit you,neither myseflf.Ill try the plan again.
Anyway thanks.
Tinkerbell wrote:
Once again, i have no idea what you are talking about, but if you follow ALL the steps in the free plan, they tell you step-by-step what you need to do.
Hundreds of people have done it without a problem, so I know it works.
Tinkerbell wrote:
Good Idea! :hurray:
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi, i wonder if anyone can help me, i just dont know what to do, i was seeing a guy who i worked with, not for a long time then found out i was pregnant, when i told him we split up but he did say whatever you do ill be there. Well that was 5 years ago now, we have a son together, in the past it hasnt always been great between me & his dad, but nowadays we get on really well, he always comes to me if he needs to speak, he recently lost his mum and i was his first call, he comes to the house to see our son very frequently and we get on very well. When he babysits for me when i arrive home he literally runs out the house to leave, doesnt face me etc, been going on a while. Anyway last weekend i came home early and we got talking as he was packing his things up to go home and we had a cuddle as hes not well at the moment which led to further things. Anyway he then left, went home, i expected when i next saw him that he would be off (ish) with me but no everything was fine, we had our sons birthday party at a pub that he came to and sat chatting to me all of the night, stopped behind after with us, he never stopped chatting to me all night. The problem is he now lives with someone. I have never ever lost my feelings for him whatsoever although i do try & cover them up, i suffer rather badly with depression & panic attacks and have seen a counsellor, she advised me that i should tell him my feelings and then what ever response i get will either open or close a door for me to be able to move on. I didnt do this until last night, i sent a rather long text telling him that i love him and whatever his response i dont want it to effect the atmosphere when he comes to see our son, i told him i had been advised to tell him so here goes etc etc, i never got a reply back!! So in a way im sort of worse that i was before sending the text, because now do i assume he isnt interested, angry at me sending the text or what??? Its our sons actual birthdya tomorrow and hes meant to be coming round, he said he would contact me about arranging to come round, im really embarassed and dreading facing him, i just dont know how he feels what with the no response??!!! People mention all the time that we get on so well etc, they cant understand it all, theyve said he wouldnt have done what he did that other weekend if he didnt feel anything for you etc, but was it just being swept away in a moment and he could be regretting it now?? Is he just being ok now with me because hes frightened of upsetting me & ill tell his current partner?? My heads a total mess, i know i cant contact him again, ill have to leave it til he contacts me with regards to coming & seeing his son tomorrow but im thinking will he now text or will he avoid me or will he ignore my text and just ask when to come & see our son?? What does the NO reply mean??? sorry bit long winded and patchy but im all in a tiz!!
helen wrote:
Hi,
I woke up with a headache this morning, and there is no fucking way I am even going to attempt to decipher your fucking comment. :willy_nilly:
The best advice I can give you is to read, and follow all the steps in the free plan.
I have covered just about every situation under the sun, and if you really take the time to think about your situation, I am sure you will find a way to make the plan work for you too.
Calm down and take care.
S.W.
I dated someone for two months and we broke up two days before my birthday. Four weeks passed and I missed him terribly but he didn’t seem to care. Then, he had no place to stay so my mother invited him to stay for one night at our place. When I saw him my heart sank he was sleeping on the couch but I slept there so when I walked in I walked back out and sat down at the table. I had to wake him up so I tried everything, even tickiling but still no progress. I know I missed him and so I caressed his face, he suddenly woke up and placed my hand in his. I knew then that I still loved him but did I just push him farther away? :banghead: we even had sex but when I asked him back out he said no. He is probably a player like everyone says but for some reason I can’t let go of him no matter how hard I try and right now it seems as though he don’t even want me back but one of his close friends told me he did. He however uses the excuse ” I don’t want to hurt you anymore” This is understandable seeing how he cheated on me two times the whole two months we were dating. I don’t want it to be over just yet. I find it very hard to let him go.
Kayla wrote:
If he was really worried about “not hurting you” anymore, he wouldn’t have sex with you, and then dump your ass yet again.
Yet he takes any chance to get laid he can find…he is full of shit, he only cares about himself.
If you want to stop getting hurt, learn how to take care of yourself too.
In this case, I wouldn’t even recommend trying to get him back.
It was only 2 months and not very serious (he cheated twice).
Just give yourself time to heal, and tell your mother to stop letting him sleep over whenever he asks.
He needs to learn how to take care of himself, and to stop taking advantage of people’s good nature.
Take Care,
S.W.
@ S. Williams:
Ok so today i finally got my answer via text off my sons dad, he said he dint reply to text as he didnt know what to say but hes with his partner now and wont go back to me and he reckons he feels there nothing “there” between us, but he doesnt understand what nor why it happened the other night between us??? x
Dear S. Williams,
My “ex” & I started dating only 2 weeks ago(we’ve been friends for like 6 years) but he is a Marine & just recently returned from Haiti & we got together & it was just instant, so we decided to give us a shot. He had to leave early this past weekend when visiting me due to something back at base & then sent me this email which after later on we talked about, he whole heartidly means. And does want to grow close & then try again. I asked him straight up because I didn’t want to hold onto false hope. We’re planning on driving back to CT(where we both are from) in a few weeks still, lI’ve just never really been in this kind of position…here’s the email, I honestly care a lot for this man & see a lot of potential of something beautiful & don’t want to let that go. Any advice would be lovely
“So I had a lot of time to think yesterday and today and I spent quite some time talking to my parents about everything, and I’m not quite sure I’m in the best place in my life to be in a serious relationship. I can’t put you first in the relationship. I have to put my job first and I don’t want to put you through that. I’ve tried the long distance thing before and it didn’t work and it’s just as frustrating now as it was then. I know you wanted to move down to NC but I don’t want you to have to sacrifice your job to do so. I’m sorry about everything, but I think it would be best to break it off now before we both get too emotionally invested in the relationship. I think we jumped into it too soon. I’d still really like to be close and remain friends. We can grow closer as friends and then try this again down the road when I’m in a more stable place in my life.”
Thank you again,
Caitlin
CaitlinClover wrote:
Hi,
No one says you “have to let go”, but you don’t have to wait around either.
I would stay in touch, and you should also date, and let him know that you are not going to just wait around for him because you have a life to live too.
If this seems too hard for you to do (staying in the friends zone), you can always use NC and the free plan on my Blog.
This will help you personally evolve while your ex is away, and it will let him know that you are definitely not to going to sit around waiting for him to come back to you.
You were only dating for 2 weeks, the flu lasts longer than that…keep on dating and having fun.
Take Care,
S.W.
Wow, Scott a lot has happened in the last 3 weeks.
I went on to Spring Break and on my last day at the beach, my ex came to visit me. Good news? I thought so. Since he acted like my boyfriend the whole time.
Then we started to hang out a lot after the break. So I finally got the courage to ask him what is going on with us. And he said that he has been happy that we started to hang out again, and that he does want to be with me but isn’t ready for a relationship again.
He also told me that if he was to be with anyone, it would be only me.
Today, he told me he had a problem… A lot has happened to him and he basically wanted me to be there me for him.
But after he told me he doesn’t want a relationship now, I told him that I can’t be there to help him through his problem. Because I would probably lead into something that I don’t want to be in.
I know if I am there, he would have it easier. I care for him, and don’t want to see him hurt. But I think I am doing the right thing, because it’s about me and not him. Right?
Kimberly wrote:
Hi Kimberly,
I don’t know if you’re following the free plan, but if you are, you are not supposed to “hang out” with your ex during NC.
The only way he is going to take the NC message (if you even sent it) seriously is if you stick to the plan, and NC…no contact.
He will never make a decision one way or the other, if he can have his cake, and eat it too.
Take Care,
S.W.
I split from my boyfriend abt 5 weeks ago,we’d been living together for the last 6 months.We split because he didnt know what he wanted and also when I finally got him to talk to me he said that he was having serious money problems and that he needed to sort them out for himself,I offered to help but he said that he needed to know he could provide it himself and that if I stayed and things got really bad he’d take it out on me and he didnt want that to happen.The day I left he told me he loved me and to let him do this.He was and still is the love of my life,I miss him so much.When we split up I had to move out as its his house and ive moved back to where i lived before which is 70 miles away.Yes I did the typical thing I texted and phoned him everyday telling how I felt.He would talk to me and answered some of my texts,i asked if hed given up on us and he said no and did he mean all that he had said and he told me he did.Unfortunately I kept on at him and he stopped saying anything and ignored texts that had anything to do with feelings.Anyway i left him for a week and then just dropped him a text to say hi and thats how its been for the last week or so.Then he asked me what I was doing for Easter and ive planned a busy one,id gone to friends Fri night,clubbing with some new mates on the sat night.During the day sat he texted me and asked who i was going out with sat night,what time I was going out,had I met someone else etc.I dont want anyone else but just kept it cool and said that I was going with friends and that I hadnt met anyone else yet,i asked if he had and he said no.I went out sat night and left my phone at home and when i got back there was a text from him asking how I was doing and was I enjoying myself.I sent one back saying yeah great thanks,talk soon.Im really confused does this man still have feelings for me? my best mate said she thinks he does as why all he questions.He wont tell me how he feels and all ive got in the first few weeks is that he cant have a relationship with me at the moment and that nothing has changed for him yet.What do i do ? pleas help i love this man so much and want him back.We arent kids hes 42 and im 39.PLEASE HELP !!!
hayley wrote:
Hi Haley,
My best advice would be to use the free plan, and follow all the steps.
Your situation is not impossible, it is just a bump in the road, don’t let it drive you right off the road, OK?
You came to the right place for help/support.
Take Care,
S.W.
i love him but he likes another girl but i think he stil likes me cuz all his best friends tell me he wants to get back together but he doesnt ask me 4 the next week what do i do
stacy wrote:
Hi,
Follow the last part of the free plan, and set up a face to face meeting with your ex, this will begin the reconnection process.
If he refuses, or ignores your request, or comes to the meeting and says he doesn’t want a relationship with you…start NC by following the free plan.
Otherwise keep following the reconnection process in the free plan until you are back together again…the key is to take things slowly.
Take Care,
S.W.
hi,
my ex boyfriend finished me about 4 months ago, and we were dating for 10 months. His reason was because we argued a lot, but they were always solved within minutes and looking back we seemed perfect-we were really good together. The arguments were never serious or nasty.
The day after he finished me, he told me that he thought he had made a mistake, and that he couldn’t stop thinking about me, and then about 3 weeks later we met at a party and we kissed and he said that he still loved me and it wasn’t properly over, he just needed some space and time, but a few days later he told me he didn’t want me back.
Obviously i was so confused and frustrated. We still argue sometimes now, and they have turned really nasty and they are always so stupid but it is mainly because im so angry with him at the fact he doesn’t want me back.
I asked him why, and he said that we will carry on arguing, (but i know for a fact that i would try my hardest not to argue, and if i was with him, i would be so happy again that there wouldn’t be anything to argue over!)
Recently, i also found out that he lied to me before he got with me.. he told me he was a virgin and i lost my virginity to him thinking he had to, but i found out that he had actually lost it to some random girl who he never even liked and how he counts me as his first because he loved me. So another reason he won’t get back with me is because he thinks i will bring it up all the time, like “oh remember when you lied to me about that”
but i wouldn’t, as I too want to forget about it. I’ve tried to persuade him and he always says, well im never getting back with you so…
I don’t want to give up on him as i love him so much, and i miss him more than anything. When I ask him if he still loves me, he always say’s not anymore.. but some girl asked him the other week and he said he does still love me, just not in the same way?:S
I’m going to a party tomorrow night, and he’s going to be there.
What can i do to get him back?
please help
xxxxx
lauren wrote:
Hi,
You need to read the free plan on my Blog.
Stop trying to convince your ex to do anything, just send the NC message outlined in the free plan, and then leave him alone, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
my fiance of six years broke up with me because i was jealous and could control it, i kinda embarrass him in public. its been 2 mths since the break up. for the first month he used to call atleast one time per day, but now he hardly calls i call most of the time. Im confused cause i dont know if hes punishing me or its a real break up. he hasnt told friends or family taht we broke up, they just know we are not on terms. can i get him back? does he still want to be with me? please help
I love him with all my heart and soul and im so sorry for what i did, i just need another chance, but he wont talk to me about us or about what happen. sometimes when i call our conversations are normal and other times it seems as though im bothering him.
Whenever he picks me up by chance to take me to work i would kiss him on the cheeks he doesnt pull away or look anoyed. but im real confused. i cant focus on work or studies i want him back so badly, i love him so much. i mean is that a reason to break up? we have been through worst than that on his part and i never gave up on him. i know i love him because i see past all his imperfections they dont matter to me. im still close with his family, they want us to get back together, but they cant talk to him, he says taht its his problem and he’ll deal with it.
whenever he calls he would ask if im good, if i need anything …oh im still wearing his engagement ring, he doesnt have a problem with it. PLEASEEEE HELP ME…PLEASE
Sassy wrote:
Hi,
He is right, he needs to deal with it, and you and his family need to leave him alone.
The more his family tries to convince him what to do, the worst things will get, even though they mean well, they are fucking things up for you two.
The same goes for you, you need to give him his space, OK?
You need to read the free plan, and follow ALL the steps, and then tell his family to stay out of it…don’t try to talk him into anything, understand?
I believe you can get your ex back, but you need to stop trying to convince him to come back…leave him alone, and start NC.
Take Care,
S.W.
P.S. When you give him the recommended NC message (unchanged), give him back his engagement ring, this will help speed things along.
I have been talking with this man since June of last year. He even invited me to stay with him for 2 weeks while I was on vacation last year. He was broke up with ex-girlfriend at the time. They seem to have this off-again, on-again relationship that continues throughout the years and he keeps going back.I moved back down South in December of last year and I still communicated with him even though he had went back with his ex-girlfriend in October after my two-week stay in August. They broke up again in February of this year and he still was involved with me;then all of a sudden she comes back to him in April and he takes her back without no hesitation. Is he “Bi-polar or something. Some of her friends say she treats him really bad. Right now he is treating me like she is treating him. He’s been telling me he “Loves me” and he cares a lot for me and he thinks highly of me. I could’t tell from this behavior. He tells me he is jealous when the men starts talking to me. He will say “ok I’m getting jealous enough of flirting with the men I’m acting on feelings”.He even asked a lady in my face that if you wanted to get rid of a man you were not interested in could you, and she said “yes”, then he looked me dead in my face. What he was getting at was like I enjoyed the mens attention. And the thing about it is I actually care for him. I wonder is it the age difference in insecurity, because he is 63 and his ex-girlfriend is 60 and I am 50 years old. Sometimes he tells me you will end up someone young, and he will say to me well how long will you be with me. When I first meet him about two weeks into our dating he said to me “If I can’t satisfy you anymore will you still be my friend”. I have a cloud over my head with confusion,however I deserve more respect than this, because I’m not trying to be a yo-yo like him. What am I to do?
Ann wrote:
Hi,
What should you do?
You should stand up for yourself, and take back control of this situation, and your life.
The free plan is all about getting your life back, not your ex.
Once you get your life, and yourself back again, then you can decide what to do about your ex, but your happiness comes first, understand?
*Hint – You don’t need your ex to be happy again.
Go read the free plan, and start following ALL the steps, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
@ Sassy:
okay… rewind, i don’t try convincing him,when i call its just about one time per day or so, just to tell him that i miss him or ask how I’m doing. gave me the engagement ring and said he didn’t have a problem if i still wore it. his family dont try to convince him, they just ask him a few time whats up,if he is going to make up back. sometimes i feel so sad, that i just want to her his voice like before, or a hug, this is my first relationship and it means so much to me. in the past he has made worst mistakes and i never punished him like this. why is he doing this and how long will he do this. you dont know me but i know that im not a bad girlfriend i made the mistake of acting on my jealousy in public and im sorry for that.is that a reason for him to break it off with me.and how is he dealing so0 calmly with this. what are the signs that he still loves me and that things will be okay, if i just give him space, and maintain a no contact position.no calls, no emails. please tell me
Sassy wrote:
Hi,
There are no signs, you won’t find out his true feelings until you have used NC for at least 30 days or more.
There are no signs, or guarantees, you have a 50/50 chance to get your ex back.
Past experience with people in our forum shows that most cases take 3-6 months.
If you’re serious about following the free plan, and using NC, you have to give that ring back.
Now, you need to make a choice, use the free plan, or not.
I am not here to convince anyone, nor will I try.
I provide a free service…take or leave it.
Take Care,
S.W.
My ex boyfriend and I had a great relationship. We were crazy about eachother. But we were eachother’s first relationship, first everything, and senior year of high school was coming to an end. He had previously told me he wanted to go to college and be with me, even if we went to different schools. Suddenly, he started pulling away and I think he got scared of the commitment of being with me and of the idea of the future etc. Then he broke up with me. I went a little crazy and started messaging him nonstop, no doubt really scaring him away. We were on bad terms for a long time. Now a year later I messaged him, after almost a year of no contact during our entire first year of college, and apologized for the things I said and acting illogical and a crazy when we broke up, and he responded saying he was really sorry for acting insensitive to my feelings when all of it happened. He said he wanted to be friends, I agreed to be friends, and we are slowly being able to communicate again. We spoke today, it’s clear that both of us are timid about it, because It’s so different talking to eachother again. He seems to want to talk to me though. I loved him so much it like blew me away, and I know that he loved me that much too. I honestly think that is what scared him. Because we have so much in common, were crazy about eachother, and also..after we broke up I won some awards (pageants etc) and started cheering at one of the best colleges in the U.S. that has an incredible football team, it’s not that I’m not his type. I know he is special and I do not think our relationship is done. I don’t know how to go about trying to get him to love me again, but I would like to try. Also, his sister was one of my best friends and she goes to college with me so I am reminded of him pretty often(she and I were friends first, she’s older, he is my age and I met him through her). If you have advice for me about how to proceed I would really appreciate it. Thank you!
okay im taking your advise, gonna start the NC plan ..NO CONTACT, but if he calls should i answer him?
Sassy wrote:
No!
What part of No Contact has you baffled?
Geez! :banghead:
Read the free plan, and all the links for NC, there are certain situations when you need to communicate with your ex.
But if they just call, text, email you for any other reason you do not respond…read the entire plan.
If you fuck up NC, you have to start over again, so make sure you know what you’re doing, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
so i have sent the NC message and started my diary. its only been two days. within the two days he has called about 5-6 times, i answered the last time, he wanted to know how if i needed money to go to the doctor cause he heard i was sick, i refused it.
i dont get this guy, he breaks up with me, and still wants to take care of me. sometimes he’s pleasent sometimes he means.
the NC plan is helping me to regain the self esteem i lost when i was begging him trying to convice him that im sorry and that i just wanted one more chance. its making me realise taht both of us were wrong he just hasnt realised it yet.
sassy wrote:
Hi,
You broke NC when you answered his call.
Send the NC message again (unchanged), this will drive your message home…
I AM SERIOUS ABOUT NO CONTACT!
You are an ass kicker, so kick ass his.
Stay Strong! :rambo:
S.W.
i give up, he’s moved on, i love him and i want him back, but hes happy with his decision dont want to come between it. thanks scott.
sassy wrote:
Hi,
It is your choice to give up without even trying.
But if you were paying “any” attention to the advice, or the free plan on my Blog, you would have realized the plan is about getting your life back, not your ex.
Some people are so busy feeling sorry for themselves, they just don’t get it.
Take Care,
S.W.