How to Write An Effective No Contact Message
I thought I would create this post to make it easier for people to understand what to write, and why.
The idea behind the no contact message is to be direct, polite, short, and to the point.
This is NOT the place to apologize, or to place any blame on anyone…understand?
Use my example messages word for word and you will get great results.
This is the beginning, the point of “no return”, as scary as that seems this is also the beginning of the “evolution” that will get your ex back…OK?
Now…stop second guessing and take some action! 
A Good Subject Line – You Were Right – (after all you’re going to agree with their idea to break up, right?)
A Good NC Message (if they broke up with you)
Hi,
I agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.
*Note – If you share custody of children you can alter the part: “I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.” to read: “I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time, unless it is about our child/children. I will be in touch when I am ready.”
A Good NC Message (if you broke up with them)
Hi,
I do not regret my decision to break up with you, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.
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Now!
If you’re not sure if you’re broken up or not (maybe just taking a break)…then use this form of that message to get yourself out of “Relationship Limbo”…OK?
Hi,
I agree with your decision to take a break, I really believe it is the best thing for both of us right now. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.
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Some More Thoughts About How The NC Message Works
Syl said:
So it would be weird to send out another message (the good NC message you posted) to let him know i agree with him to break up AGAIN right?
I don’t know if it would be weird to reaffirm “his” decision to break up, or not.
That message that I recommend is sort of cold and clean like a lawyer would send.
There is no emotion in there and that really catches people off guard, and because it is so short and vague they will start to get curious…right?
I know I didn’t write any of these books that you guys read and use, and because of that I was able to think outside of their boxes, and re-work a way to start NC even though people have already done it unsuccessfully.
I had to find an answer to the question: “I already started NC and it isn’t working, or I didn’t understand how NC works and we haven’t talked for “x” amount of time…is it too late, what do I do now?”
This little NC message seems to get reactions from everyone who has used it lately…why not give it a try?
The main thing you want to do is remind them it was “their” decision to break up and now you are making some big decisions and you don’t want to be disturbed while you make them.
Is any of this a “lie” your ex did break up with you right?
You do have a big decision to make…whether to “move on” or not.
And you don’t want any contact from them, and by telling people they can’t have something makes them want it more…right?
What is happening here?
You are in a sense now breaking up with them, and raising curiosity.
Why would she send me this message now?
What big decision is she talking about?
She will be in touch…what will she say?
“Switch Flipped” NC Message mission accomplished!
*Note – There is a lot more information about the no contact rule on this post:
The Real Truth About The No Contact Rule
Make sure you read it before sending your NC message, OK?
