How to Rule The No Contact Rule – You Need to Read This Right Now!

 

picture of woman using a cell phone

 

The no contact rule works, as long as you know, how to use it.

If you want to “rule” the no contact rule, then, keep on reading.

I will tell you how to use the no contact rule to get your ex back fast.

Why “fast”?

The no contact rule speeds up your ex’s personal evolution (getting past the breakup), and, this saves you time.

OK.

Just like any strategy, there are rules and regulations, and, the sooner you learn them, the sooner you will succeed.

Stop, whatever you’re doing to get your ex back, and, keep on reading.

No one can fail with the no contact rule if they use it correctly.

 


 

What The Rulers Know

 

Rulers (people who rule) know that nothing comes without hard work, and, sacrifice.

What are you willing to do to get your ex back?

Anything, you say?

Alright, if you really mean that, then here is the first “key”, to ruling the no contact rule.

You must focus on having complete emotional control.

This means you have to be able to cut your ex, loose, and, not worry day and night that they are going to get mad, and, leave you.

Guess what?

They already left you, and, now, you are in relationship limbo, waiting for “something” to happen.

Stop waiting for “something” to happen, and “make” something happen.

Learning to cope with strong emotions is not easy, but, it is possible, especially, if you do some research and find tools, that will help you achieve, your emotional stability.

Get to your local library (or search online) for some free information on self-help.

The more you self-educate yourself, the quicker you become a ruler of, the no contact rule.

The real key to success after a breakup is strong emotional self-control.

 


 

You Can Not Get A Little Pregnant

 

You cannot get a little pregnant, and, you can not “just try” using the no contact rule, and, expect it to work.

You must believe in it, and, understand how it works.

You have to stop contacting your ex, be polite, but, be firm, and, just do it.

If you have worked hard to gain emotional control (as I suggested earlier), you will be ready, and, able to do this.

OK, now what?

If your ex, contacts you, do not reply to any emails, texts, or calls.

If you run into them in public, just tell them you are not ready to talk, and, you need some time to think about “things.”

This will send a strong message, that, you are very serious about changing the way, your relationship has been headed, lately.

If you break down, and, start contacting them, again, out of “fear” of losing them, you will eventually lose them, for good.

Why?

The more you break no contact, the less serious your ex will take you, and your chances of getting back together, get smaller with each time you break no contact.

The no contact rule can save your relationship, if, you know how to use it, correctly.

The bottom-line is, if you really want to get your ex back, you must use the no contact rule, correctly.

Even though, I have shared some great tips with you, about the no contact rule, you really need to read the free breakup survival plan.

If you have any comments, or, questions for me, about using the no contact rule, please write them in the comment box below, and, I will answer them ASAP!

 


 

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

 

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008, to overcome breakup pain, and, get their lives back.

I even have an “About” section, that I recommend you read.

I realize the address, of my site, is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but, I “really” teach people, how to get their lives back, not just their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me, (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter, for access to the free breakup survival plan, and, start getting your life back, today.

The answers you need, to start your personal evolution, are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come, and get them.

Once, you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise.

If you have any comments or questions, please write them, in the comment box, below.

If this article was useful, or helpful, to you in any way, please show your appreciation, by giving me a “+1″, using the buttons, below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.

313 Comments

Add a Comment
  1. Me and my girlfriend dated for 2 years and currently go to the same
    College as she decided to follow me here. We started our relationship very well and towards the end my attitude changed because I got very complaisant because I knew she would be there. We both stated we’ve never been this in love before and over the 7 months we’ve been broken up we’ve hung out and done things like a happy couple would do: have sex, cuddle, hangout, go shopping, dinner, hands. But also some days we don’t talk at all and things are all over the place. I broke up with her the first time but over the 7 months I’ve been showing her that I’m a changed person and she’s acknowledged it and says she never expected me
    To change and want this so bad but she unfortunately says she doesn’t want a relationship right kow because of how busy she is…and boy she is really busy I tell you. But I’ve just seen it as a challenge to show her a better side of me
    But it’s been such a roller coaster ride to
    The point where I’m so needy and I don’t wanna act like that. I need the power and control back and I just don’t have it
    Right now because I’m venerable and always available. I walked away a week ago and said it’s lot
    Our time right now and that we both need space. Do you think my
    No contact should last longer than 30
    Days? It’s been a week and she hasn’t contacted me
    But she did like a picture of
    Me and a friend who
    She hates so I know she’s vulnerable. She told me
    Weeks ago about what we should do about our future when I graduate so I know she’s seen me in her future. I know there’s something here, the bond and connection we have is unbelievable when we are both connected on point. But when she wakes up feeling she needs to be independent she’s cold and distant. Did I do the right thing by walking away? How do you think the no contact will help me? I miss her so much it hurts and she lives 30 seconds away from me. How should I feel right now? Thank you!!!

  2. hi. i have a strange one, my ex left 4 weeks ago saying he had no feelings and didnt feel attached to me, it was a major shock for me cos from the seconed he said it i just didnt belive him, i felt there was another reason for this as he had always had feelings for me (known him 15yrs and were together 15 months) and he activly showed them daily. anyway the night he left i was too shocked to plead or cry so i silently watched him pack up all his belongings, nothing was said from his part either, just as he was about to leave i said can we not sort this out he said theres no point, he then says he will be back the next day to collect his more valuble belonings and also some clothes and also give me my keys he then left. from that point i didnt contact him at all, no texts emails phonecalls nothing, he didnt turn up the next day either. 9 days past with no contact and out of the blue he texts and says how r u? i was again shocked and couldnt reply because all i kept thinking was what is this?? why is he texting?? what do i do?? about an hour past and i finally decided to reply i just said im good thanks u? he replied straight away and said im getting there, so what u up to? i then replied back and said nothing much watchin tv, u? again he replied, this went on for about 10 mins then he text asking if we were ok for conversations, i wasnt sure what he ment so i asked him, he replied i just mean are we ok to talk, i relied back i am open for conversation but i dont think i can do the friend thing, i need time. he then replied now im confused??? he then sent a message asking if i would be ok if he came tgo mine for a few drinks and a conversation, at this point i will admit i started getting excited and full of hope but also sceptical, i waited a long time before i relied and all i said was when where u thinking, for the first time he didnt rely straight away i got his reply about 25mins later basicaly sayin he was 5 mins away, i was completly blindsided by that. so he came in and i could see he ws nervous but he smiled at me and sat on the sofa next to me, he was looking pretty good and his body was very open in my direction he kept eye contact throuout the night and always smiling, we ended up chatting for 14hours, the who night basically just talking about what we have been doing day to day he told me about some stuff to do with his familly some things he had been dealing with, he was acting like nothing had happend and not once did the topic of us or the breakup or what he was even doing here came up the entire night, when he left it had basically been a really good night lots of laughs and really no awkwardness at all, we said goodbye no hug no kiss and that was that he left, i decided later on that day i would text him and just say thanks for last night i enjoyed myself, he imediatly text back saying im glad u enjoyed urself, i have just woken up but it was worth it i really enjoyed myself! he then said how do u fancy some company again tonight? i repkied with yes i would like that. we made a time and these texts where way more friendly he even added kisses on the end, so again he ca me up and again he lookedgood and again we talked all night and he was flirting body language everythin was open towards me, so again after having a great night he left again no hug or kiss just a will see u later, he said i will text u later when i wake up and i said yep ok, that was over 2 weeks ago and i havent heard a peep out of him, no text nothing, i have not contacted him either but what i need to know is why do that come back 9 bdays later only to leave again, and his stuff is still here and he still has my keys, whats going on in his head for him to do this??

    1. Hi,

      I wouldn’t worry about what is going on inside his head.

      It sounds like he is using you (when he needs company), and you are letting him get away with it.

      How screwed up is it to make plans with someone, and then disappear – who needs someone that can’t be depended on?

      I suggest getting your keys back, or just changing the locks, boxing up his stuff, and then sending him the recommended NC as outlined in the free plan.

      He won’t deal with his emotions until he has too – do you want waste your life waiting around in relationship limbo?

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  3. hi, i was recently dating a woman, and we both fell for each other.She was in an abusive relationship for many years. shes been thru the mill emotionally and physically.we both have children from previous marriages. we recently seperated , with her saying she wanted to be friends.as you can imagine its been pretty hard. we have had a little contact, however ive given her the space she deserves.. altho the romantic in me, put some flowers on her step, just to remind her im still around

    1. Michael said:

      She was in an abusive relationship for many years. shes been thru the mill emotionally and physically.

      Hi,

      It is very common for people in breakups to make excuses for their ex’s behavior rather than except the fact that they were rejected.

      I guess it gives them an excuse not to move on, but (in my opinion) that is a BIG mistake.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  4. Hi,

    I broke up with my boyfriend 9 weeks ago, for the first 2 weeks of the break up, i text him, apologising wanting to talk till eventually he turned around and said im not going back, you have made your choice now deal with it, just like i have to etc…stupid thing is end of each week i emailed him saying how i understand what i did was wrong, most i left it was 2 weeks then i text to say i was moving to devon. I talked to a friend who was also his friend about him, asked about him and i know she prob told him a lot of things. I know that didn’t help.

    What made it worse was, my dad got involved, asked him is this it for ever etc, he said i have no answers for you, when my dad assumed he was never taking me back he said a”another person in your family saying things i never said, maybe you should stay out of it, would do her some good, life isnt that clean cut, what ever happens, happens. That was proberly 5 weeks after the break up. then a week later, he blocked me on facebook, dad asked why an he said its something he had to do, then my dad sort of had a go at him and my ex went mad, said he wanted to be alone. a day after i text him wanting a straight answer, tried calling him but as exspected he hung up and never replied. Since then i have implied the 3 week no contact rule, i havnt talked to my friend about him in a week.

    Its been 3 weeks and 3 days since that no contact rule, he still hasnt spoken to me and now i feel like i pushed him to far and now he’s never going to talk to me.

    Is it to late now?

    1. Hi,

      As far as it being too late to get your ex back, only time will tell, and it won’t be because of what happened in your break up, if you don’t get back together in the future, it will be because you are not compatible enough to sustain a healthy relationship.

      It takes more than love to keep a relationship alive, and that is the main reason why men pull away from the women they love.

      It is NEVER too late to start using the free plan, to get your life back, and evolve past the break up.

      Keep your family, and friends out of your personal life, as far as the break up is concerned, and do not discuss the details of NC, or the free plan with them, OK?

      This is not because what you are doing is a big secret, or anything, it is because people misunderstand the whole principal behind the no contact rule, and they start giving you the wrong advice.

      You cannot follow my advice, and theirs…it won’t work.

      Pick someone’s advice to follow, and stick to it.

      The choice is yours.

      My advice works, go read the success stories on our forum, and on my Blog.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  5. Hi S.W

    Yesterday I invited her out for lunch as you recommended. It went well. First she didnt accept the invitation but I ensure her that it would be a simple friendy lunch. She came over and I tried to show a diiferrent guy from whom she knew before.

    The 1st question is if I need to continiue NO CONTACT again after that meet up? and try to be cool until she suggests the rekindling?

    The 2nd question is that can I make her jealous indirectly ? becasue I wanted to test her and said I need to be somewhere tomorw at 10.00 a.m and she got joulous and kept texting me to learn who I m going to meet and why? but she tried to hide her emotions and said that she guesses that I m getting around her about our business. and I texted her back and said that “No ! this is personal and has nothing to do with our company.kept texting me and tried to learn who I am going to meet.

    thanks for your comments in advance.

    Jack

    1. Hi,

      You are NOT following the free plan correctly.

      The free plan suggests using a lunch date as a first reconnection, but only after using the no contact correctly long enough to get over (evolve past) the break up, and break free of your obsession for your ex.

      This usually (in most cases) takes 12 months.

      You have not been correctly applying the no contact rule to your breakup situation for 12 months, and you definitely have not evolved past the breakup or your obsession for your ex girlfriend.

      If you want to be successful, you MUST get your life back (end your obsession).

      To accomplish that you need to re-initiate the no contact rule by resending the recommended NC message (no changes), and then sticking to the plan for at least 12 months.

      If this was really true love, she will be waiting for you in 12 months, if she moves on, she never really loved you as much as you think, and it was for the best…accept it.

      If you are not going to follow my advice please seek guidance elsewhere…OK?

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S. W.

      1. Hi

        thanks for the reply. I do underestand what you mean. I think I exactly follow your free plan. As we work together , I didnt contact her for almost 7 weeks. sometimes she called or texted me to inform me sth about our business. But I will keep going . besides I didnt underestand what mistake did I make? I did the lunch date correctly . There was no sign of passion on my part.
        I really appreciate your help.

        all the best,

        1. Jack_56 said:

          besides I didnt underestand what mistake did I make?

          Hi,

          You broke NC way too early, and trying to make her jealous isn’t a very good idea.

          Trying to make her jealous shows you are still desperate to get her back which is a sign of ex obsession.

          You must do your best to keep all contact with your ex girlfriend about business, and keep everything personal to yourself.

          This will take practice, but it is very doable.

          It takes at least 12 months to evolve past a break up, and get over your ex obsession, and when you have daily/weekly contact it might take even longer, so be prepared.

          In the end, you will have your life back, and you will also know where you stand with your ex, and if you even want her back again, but you have to be patient, and persistent, and stick to the no contact rule long enough to get your life back (evolve past the breakup and your ex obsession).

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

          1. “and if you even want her back again, you have to be patient
            and persistent and stick to the no contact rule long enough
            … ”

            Would you please justify this from her side? Dont you think she might imagine that I am gone and get over her and forget about her? Remember! its HER who dumped me! Dont you think she might be happy that she gets rid of me during this long time no contact? Like so many dumpers , she has her own (false)reasons that I was not a proper choice (though I did all I COULD for her). How can I show her I made some changes? May be she think that I am cool because there si no love relationship between us! She might thik that if she gets back to me I would turn into that needy guy.

            I cant thank you enough for your patients to reply my detailed and complicated situation.

            1. Jack_56 said:

              Would you please justify this from her side?

              Hi,

              There is nothing to “justify”, this about getting your life back, not your ex girlfriend.

              I explained this to you before, and it is explained in the free plan, as well.

              Thank you for writing.

              Take Care,

              S.W.

  6. Hi.

    Thanks for the advice, but fortunately I have my life back. I dont feel depressed anymore. I have my own life but at the same time I want to get HER back. (I dont need her though)

    1. Jack_56 said:

      Thanks for the advice, but fortunately I have my life back. I dont feel depressed anymore.

      Hi,

      You might not be depressed, but you’re still obsessed with getting her back…that is just as bad.

      If you “really” don’t need her as you say, then forget about her and live your life, if you two were meant to be together time will tell.

      Stop writing about her, and then you will stop talking about her, and finally you will stop thinking about her…that is when you will finally be over her and the old failed relationship and ready for something new.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  7. she shows nothing . no feeling. im not sure if she is pretending or not but as a work partner she finds an excuse to text me (mostly about work) but i think she is just trying to keep in touch. but she seems almost cool. Do u think she is suffering too and resisting ? is this no contact of three weeks the time for her to get used to foget me and on the contrary helping HER to be accostumed?

    1. Hi,

      If you read and “understood” the main idea behind using the no contact rule as outlined in the free plan, it is about getting “your life” back, not your ex.

      So, what your ex says, does, feels, eats, thinks about, etc…

      Doesn’t matter, and it will only impede your progress if you obsess about it.

      Focus on following all the steps of the free plan, and on your personal evolution, not on getting your ex girlfriend back.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  8. Hi.

    I am following NO CONTACT (the THIRD WEEK). As we are work partners, sometimes we have to meet. She keeps criticizing about our relationship, her long-held misconceptions about me. I m staying strong. But she doesnt want to stop nagging. What should I do.

    1. Hi,

      If she is going to make your work life hell, I would seriously consider finding another place to work, or a new work partner.

      Until then re-send the NC message (no changes) every time she talks to you about anything but work, and keep ignoring her persistence to talk about your old failed relationship by changing the subject back to work, and telling her you are not ready to talk about it.

      The free plan and the no contact rule only work when you stick to the plan…no exceptions.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  9. Oh . i am spending the second week of my NC. We meet today at the office ( as we share a business). after formal 30 min talk about work, she didnt leave the office nor didnt she let me go because she started to talk about her studies as if she didnt want me to leave. She seemed to miss me. But I tried to be strong and firm. She followed me to my car and I was the one who said good bye. After we got into our car, she called me and started to talk about new language learning system she recently found.
    She was very careful not to make me sad. she treated very causiously. BUT I really missed her and all I could to was to pretend to be cool.

    Oh . now when I got back home, I really miss those days we were together. Oh I truely feel that I do love her.

    Do you think its a sign in her?

    Besides, in response to my NC message , she didnt directly replied that email , but she angrily criticized about an issue regarding our business. Anger was quite abvious in her email she sent a few min after my NC message. What do you think?

    Thanks a million for replying.

    1. Hi,

      If your ex will not respect your NC message…send it again, and keep sending it until she gets it through her head that she can’t force you to talk to her.

      Keep all your talk about business, and when she tries to change the subject to something personal, tell her you would rather not talk about that, and get up and leave, or ask her to leave your office.

      If you don’t stick to the plan, you will “both” suffer.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  10. Dear Sir,

    I read your “No CONTACT” rule. What if I work with my ex. She is a work partner. We have to meet sometimes at the office.
    What should I do ?

    1. Hi,

      That question is covered in this article on my Blog about how to handle no contact in different situations.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex girlfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  11. Hi,

    Okay so I have been seeing this guy for a little over a year…and its ben a very complicated situation. I personally feel like something serious could have happened if only this guy had let his guard down. I know that sounds like a typical girl being pathetic over a guy that aint all that into her BUT you guys obviously dont no my situation. See, this guy is on the shy, keeps to himself, had a very negative past history…kinda like a broken object that I’ve been trying really hard to fix. I’m the first girl he’s ever even gotten this close to, as he has never shared this side of him to anyone and the longest relationship hes ever had was 3 months with other girls. Anyways, after all this time of analyzing and being a crazy person and hoping for the best, i was thrown with a really big curve ball. So, last weekend I was gone out and he came by too see me. Him and my good friend got into a really deep talk about relationships and he was telling her to not ever settle in life and to wait for “the one” …and then he said that that is why he is still single …because he is not gonna settle and is still waiting for the one…and then added in “im not saying its not her” meaning me (but according to my friend it sounded more like a cover up, cu he realized what he just said and how it sounded pretty rude….Anyways I was completely slapped across the face by that comment…so the next day when i found out what he said I completely ignored him because I didnt want to let my emeotions get the best of me and he tried messaging me once and I ignored him. This guy has taken me totally for granted so I am completely taking him out of my life but obviously in the back of my head I would hope that “no contact” would make him realize that the one and only girl that was ALWAYS there for him is no longer there…so anyways I dont no if this is a lost cause or if there is any minor hope…that he would actually come begging back lol?

    1. Hi,

      The free plan is not about getting your ex boyfriend to “come begging back”.

      It is about evolving past the breakup, and revealing your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you.

      You can’t fix someone else because you don’t know what is best for other people.

      They need to make the choice about what they want, and do not want, not someone else.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  12. I am the one who broke it off for many reasons. I sent the NC message. How do you keep the NC if he lives across the street? Not speaking to him is easy, but if he wants to see me, he can look out the window and know when I’m home, when I’m not home, etc.

    1. Hi,

      If you read the free plan, and all the articles on my Blog regarding the no contact rule, you would have learned that NC is not about hiding from your ex, just cutting them out of your personal life.

      When your ex sees you out his window, unless he can read your mind, he doesn’t know what you’re thinking about or what’s going on in your life.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  13. Hi SW,
    I’ve sent the NC letter 3 months ago. It was really hard at the beginning, but it got a lot easier as time went by. I had so much on my plate that I had to be able to move on without him. I thought the NC might help me get over him and for a while I thought it did. Now that I’m back home, all I can think about is him. I haven’t initiated contact because i’m a chicken and I’m scared of what I might hear. Do you think this means I’m still not ready yet? Do you suggest I wait longer? Thanks again for all your advice.

    1. Hi,

      The whole idea behind using the no contact rule as outlined in the free plan is to get your life back, not your ex boyfriend.

      The average time it takes for someone to successfully get their lives back and become themselves again is 12+ months.

      3 months is NOT enough time to expect yourself to be free of the past relationship.

      Keep following ALL the steps in the free plan, and keep putting your ex boyfriend, and the break up behind you…live in the present.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  14. hi Scott,

    Thank you for all these efforts. I understand how important it is to get yourself back and to be yourself in a relationship. I had a long distance relationship for 1.5 years, we were in different countries. He went to my country and stayed with me for the whole christmas holiday, and half year later I went to his country and stayed with him and his family. We had a lot of disagreements this time, although we had many good memories too. After I got back to my own country, my temper was even worse. Eventually he said he needed space to think. Then He finally decided to break up with me, saying that he wasn’t sure what he wanted now, and that he would only be happy without me. (Ironically when we were in love he said the opposite.) It was a struggle because it’s our first love. I agreed that we broke up. It’s been two months now and he had contacted me a few times, sometimes it’s me who initiated email exchanges, more often it’s him, especially this time after I haven’t contacted him for more than a week. He and I both still love each other, I know. And I realized the problem with me was that I lost myself gradually as the relationship moved on, one possible reason was I loved him more and more and because we were in different countries it’s hard to unite. I’m sure I should have started the NC much earlier. But my questions are:
    1. when I googled the standard NC letters you offer, it came out in the google search. And you said we shouldn’t alter it to accommodate our own style. So, what if my ex find it wierd and google it and find out that I’m trying to get him back? It’d not be good.
    2. I don’t have a chance to meet him in person if I don’t go through the pains to get a visa, buy expensive tickets to fly to his country. And I’m off to other parts of the world to study next year. Would this plan still work? (sorry it’s not doubting you, but I do want to listen to your advice before I initiate any move.)

    Thanks, July

    1. July said:

      when I googled the standard NC letters you offer, it came out in the google search. And you said we shouldn’t alter it to accommodate our own style. So, what if my ex find it wierd and google it and find out that I’m trying to get him back? It’d not be good.

      Hi,

      This is not about getting your ex back, it is about getting your life back, so it wouldn’t matter one way or the other who saw/read the letter/the plan online.

      If you only focus on getting your ex back your chances for success are slim, very slim.

      I have been doing this for three years now, and I never heard of anyone failing because their ex found the letter online and discovered the free plan, it is not a secret…lol

      What I have run into (repeatedly) is people who are afraid to send the NC message (unaltered), and then making excuses why they shouldn’t send it.

      You can use the no contact rule to reveal his true feelings, and to evolve past the breakup.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  15. hi SW,
    i knew a guy and we really got along well. At first I just wanted a caring friend after my previous painful relationship but then things went a bit further. I kind of got used to his company and then he stopped contacting me. I thought it was my over-mentioning my ex and guys i used to date and some of my life attitudes that scared him away. So I hang out with my friends again and intended to start new dates and move on with my life. A week later, he emailed me apologizing hard and explained why he hadn’t contacted for a while. I don’t really buy it, though…The statements seemed sincere. However, I still think that last time he cut loose was because he wanted some space of his own and I don’t have a problem with that. And obviously he might thought I started to get sticky. I’m not usually sticky. His writings seemed normal, the way we used to communicate.I don’t know where this relationship is going but I definitely don’t want to lose him as a friend.
    So my question is: how long should I wait until I reply?(several emails of his right now and I have kept that reply waiting for three days so far)What attitude should I take and what should I possibly write to reply?
    Should I just write about my getaway these days in a plain way as if I had never ever worried why he didn’t call?
    thx a lot.
    my emotional control is fine so far.

    1. Hi

      There is a simple way to tell if someone means what they said, their actions match their words.

      If your instincts are telling you something doesn’t feel right, they are correct.

      The only way to become friends again is to evolve past the failed relationship, and that takes time.

      You can use the no contact rule to reveal his true feelings for you, and to evolve past the break up.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  16. It’s been my 6th month of NC, I’ve been coping with it well, of course there are some low moments but I was able to manage it until recently my ex’s mom tried to contact me, I received 2 messages and a friend request from her on Facebook. I didn’t reply to her, however her attempts in getting in touch with me got me wonder if I’m doing the right thing ignoring his parents…it’s really hard as I love them so…but at the same time I know I’m still not ready to be in touch again as I still hold negative emotions against my ex…what should I do I’m really struggling…is it possible it was my ex trying to get his parents contact me as he was too afraid to break the NC rule?

    1. Hi,

      His parents should understand and realize that their efforts to contact you this soon after a break up is not the smartest idea.

      Just continue to do what is right for you, and you can reconnect with them in the future…when you’re ready.

      This will be a great test of their friendship.

      A good friend would understand and give you space, and a false friend would judge you for your actions.

      They could also be trying to act as ambassadors for their son, and that is none of their business.

      Your instincts tell you to avoid contact with them, listen to your inner self.

      Thank you for writing.

      Stay Strong and Positive!

      S.W.

      1. Thank you Scott!!

        I’m definitely gonna stay stronger and more positive than I am now.

        Happy holiday to you and your family!!

        1. You’re Welcome! 🙂

          Happy Holidays to you and your family too!

  17. Today is my 1st day of the NC rule. MY bf of 3 years decided that he could no longer “do this” and that our relationship was becoming “unhealthy”…
    Whether I agree with that or not I’m not sure, but maybe i was just blinded and wasn’t actually paying attention to how bad things we’re getting. I’m not exactly implementing the NC rule to win him back, I’m doing it for me. I need to make a clean break, I told him I respected his choice, and asked him to not contact me. I plan on changing my number, and completely remove myself from his life.
    I know it’ll be hard, so I’m sure I’ll spend a lot of time writing on here to distract myself from him, and to keep myself on track.

  18. My ex and I have been broken up from 3 months now. I have rarely contacted him first and as of a week ago, did not respond to his texts or call. He has not tried again in a week. Is NC too late for me?

    1. Hi,

      It is NEVER too late to start NC and “correctly” use the no contact rule to get your life back again.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get your man back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  19. S.W

    here’s my situation. This girl whom I love say I am just her friend. I am confused she wants and accept me to treat her like a girlfriend. We held hand, go to dinner, watch movies together, etc…but she tell people i am not her boyfriend. So i was wondering, is your no-contact rule good for my situation?

    1. Hi,

      Yes, the no contact rule as I teach people to use it will help you reveal her true feelings for you.

      It is too confusing when people send mixed signals, huh?

      Go read the free plan, and send the NC message about taking a break.

      This will flip her emotional switch and make her think about what she really wants from you.

      When people don’t have to deal with a situation, they won’t.

      Use the no contact rule and the free plan to get your ex back to “help” her decide what she wants, and in the meantime you can start moving on with your life too.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  20. Hi william,
    currently I am trying to move on after my girlfriend of 2 years left me. I had never loved anyone so much like the way I loved her and I still do deep with in me. After we split, we’ve met twice but talk about nothing. I love her but I want to get over her. There are days I think about her more than anything but I keep convincing myself that she’s gone, that I’ll get a better person.. but it hurts..
    Any serious tips on How to let go of her veryfast…Please. thx.

    1. Hi,

      The best way to handle your current situation is by using the no contact rule correctly.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex girlfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  21. S.W.,

    My ex and I live on opposite sides of a very large city and it is 99.9% likely that we will not run into each other. I have not spoken with him since he broke up with me. Do I still need to send the NC letter, or just continue being strong and not contacting him? He has not tried to contact me to date either.

    1. Hi,

      If you take the time to read all the articles on my Blog about the no contact rule, you will understand that the NC message is the most important part of your personal evolution, why?

      It flips your ex boyfriend’s emotional switch, and starts his personal evolution to evolve past the break up.

      Your ex will not start evolving without it, you MUST send the recommended NC message as outlined in the free plan if you want to achieve the fastest results.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      The fastest way to get your ex boyfriend back is to get your life back first.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  22. My boyfriend broke up with me 4 days ago. We had been together for 2 years, the past 4 months of which have been long distance. He broke up with me because he says he can’t do it anymore and has run out patience with me. I think it may have been because I was trying extra hard to compensate for the distance and expecting the same from him. Anyway, I initiated the no contact rule yesterday. Will it work even when it’s long distance?

    1. Hi,

      Yes it will work for LDRs, and here is why.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back, start your personal evolution, heal your heart, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  23. Hello,
    About 5 months ago my girlfriend of 2 months broke up with me because she claimed she still had feelings for her ex, she was with him for 3 days and then came back to me and stayed with me for about 5 days and went back and this process continued for about a month, Her mom took something the wrong way and told her that she could not date me ever again. She accepted that and went back to her ex and stayed with him for about 4 days, then she came back to me and told me that we would figure out a way to go date behind her moms back. 3 days later she gave up on that idea and she started talking to a new guy, they dated for about a month until she found out that he cheated on her 4 times. She broke up with him and i’ve tried to tell her my feelings and get her back but she says she just needs to be single because she cant handle another breakup because of the stress from her heart condition. I think if she tried hard enough and wanted it bad enough we could easily find a way to get her mom to accept me. She texts me every now and then to see how im doing but only as a friend. I sent her a no contact message this morning asking her to not contact me because i need some time to decide if i should move on or not. She said “oh..well okay if thats what you want. i guess if you need to hear anything health wise about how im doing then someone else can fill you in.” I didn’t reply and i left it at that. What should i do from here?

    1. Hi,

      Your NC message doesn’t sound like the recommended NC message as outlined in the free plan.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex girlfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The correctly worded no contact message is the first and most important step of your personal evolution.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back, start your personal evolution, heal your broken heart, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

How to Survive a Breakup © 2008 -