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How to Get Your Ex Back Using The Infamous “Missing” Link

Now That You Have The "Missing" Link Go Use No Contact Correctly

You want to get your ex back, and, you have bought every book out there, but, you still can’t get anywhere, right?

You need the “missing” link.

What is that?

Keep on reading.

It seems a chain is only as strong, as the weakest link.

But, what if it’s missing a link, altogether?

How to get your ex back using the infamous “missing” link.

 


 

The “Missing” Link

 

Every one of those books out there refers to using some version of the no contact rule, as your first step in, getting your ex back.

But, none of them really go into much detail.

I am going to fix that, here and now.

NC is just keeping your ex “out of the loop” personally, while you follow a plan on how to survive your breakup.

Here is how to start, and apply, no contact, in a variety of situations.

 


 

The First Step

 

Politely tell your ex, that you need some time and space, to work out some personal issues, and, you”ll be in touch, when you’re ready.

Also, tell them that you would really appreciate it if they would respect that, and, not contact you, unless it was something like, shared children, or financial affairs.

You can use any version of this you like, but, this is a general idea…OK?

The no contact message is a lot more effective (and powerful) when you’re polite.

 

Scenario 1 – You work for the same company

 

Just keep things polite, and do not engage in any conversations that are personal, just keep it all about work.

 

Scenario 2 – You Have The Same Circle of Friends

 

Pretty much the same advice, be polite, and, do not discuss your personal life with them, or, with your friends, when your ex is present.

Same thing if you happen to run into them, out in public, stay cool.

 

Scenario 3 – You share a child or children together

 

Once again, when picking up, or dropping off your kids just be polite, and, keep it all about your kids.

Same thing when you go to any of your kid’s events, where your ex will be present.

 

Scenario 4 – You’re roommates, live in the same house, but not room

 

Just be a polite roommate, keep to yourself, and, if it is too uncomfortable, make arrangements ASAP, to live somewhere else.

 


 

What If Your Ex, Keeps Contacting You?

 

Politely ignore them, you are not being rude, they are.

If they continue to contact you, resend the recommended NC message, as outlined in the free breakup survival plan.

The biggest excuse there is, (and, I do mean excuse) to break no contact is my ex just won’t leave me alone, so I had to.

No, you didn’t, and, now you have shown your ex, that they can still control you.

Now that you know how to get your ex back using the (not so missing) “Missing” link…get back out there!

If there is still something missing in your attempts to win your ex back, then, subscribe to my free newsletter, and, let me help you.

I can supply you with a chain of information, designed to teach you how to survive a breakup, and, how to get your ex back.

If you have any comments or questions for me, please write them in the comment box below, and, I will answer them ASAP!

 


 

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

 

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008, to overcome breakup pain, and, get their lives back.

I even have an “About” section, that I recommend you read.

I realize the address, of my site, is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but, I “really” teach people, how to get their lives back, not just their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me, (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter, for access to the free breakup survival plan, and, start getting your life back, today.

The answers you need, to start your personal evolution, are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come, and get them.

Once, you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise.

If you have any comments or questions, please write them, in the comment box, below.

If this article was useful, or helpful, to you in any way, please show your appreciation, by giving me a “+1″, using the buttons, below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.

416 Comments

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  1. When we meet ( as we are work partners) she starts criticizing about our past fights – the reasons why she broke up – and who bad and cruel I was to her. ( she is wrong) because she is deep in severe misunderestanding. What should I do? should I listen and keep silent?

    1. Jack_56 said:

      What should I do? should I listen and keep silent?

      Hi,

      No, don’t even listen, just delete anything she sends you without reading it.

      Block her on all your social networks, and do not acknowledge her attempts to get your attention.

      She needs to learn how to survive without you in her life, and you need to focus on yourself.

      You can’t save anyone until you learn how to save yourself first.

      This is all explained in the free plan.

      I highly recommend that you take the time to read the free plan, and answer your own questions about how to correctly use the no contact rule.

      Learning how to help yourself is a priceless skill.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  2. Hi. I was helping her with her Ph.D thesis. And I promised her to help her to the end. Now she always blame me that I promised to help even if we are not in a relationship. I dont know what to do? She is trying to use guilt-tripping.

    1. Hi,

      I am sure she promised to stay with you forever too (before the break up), so much for promises, huh?

      How can she expect you to concentrate and supply any kind of academic support while you’re trying to deal with this break up?

      You have to handle one thing at a time, and right now, getting your life back on track is more important.\ than helping her with school work.

      It doesn’t matter what she wants, you have to get your priorities straight.

      You can use the no contact rule to reveal your ex girlfriend’s true intentions, and evolve past this break up, if you use it correctly.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex girlfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  3. Hi,

    i just want to ask, I’m planning to send the NC message, but I thought I could ask, Wouldn’t it seem weird to send the message when my ex already have someone new after a few days we broke up?? I know I should send it straight away, but I was the one who requested to be friends. The first day we broke up, she didn’t agree, but the second day, she suddenly changed her mind, and wanted to add me back on facebook.

    Thanks.

    1. Hi,

      No, it wouldn’t seem “weird”, it would send a clear message that you will not be treated as left-overs, and have plans for your life.

      Trying to “stay friends” in hopes of undermining her new romantic interest will not work, it will only work against you and keep you trapped in relationship limbo.

      Staying friends seems like playing it safe, but it really is just putting a leash on yourself and waiting to be petted…that is pathetic.

      Fortune always favors the bold, not the meek.

      Stop stalling, and send the recommended NC message as outlined in the free plan.

      When you stand up for yourself, you gain respect.

      The strongest “healthiest” relationships are built upon “mutual” respect.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      If this helped you, give me a Google +1, so Google gives me some respect…Thanks!

      1. Hi,

        Okay, I’ve drafted it, but I thought I could add in “Though it’s a little late, I just want to tell you” in front of the NC message, the rest stays the same. Is that feasible?? or does that give them any other message, that I may or may not have intentionally include?

        1. Hi,

          You don’t need to kiss your ex’s ass by apologizing, that’s weak.

          I teach people to kick loves ass, not kiss it.

          You are either all the way in, or all the way out…it doesn’t work any other way with the free plan.

          If you’re all the way in, send the recommended NC…no changes.

          If you’re not comfortable following the free plan as it is laid out, I suggest you go find support somewhere else.

          I can’t help you because you will not follow my instructions (your choice not mine).

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  4. Ok man so you banned me from your forum (club & pet student’s no offence ment).

    I truly beleived in NC and in your idea (the plan) and was happy to follow it to the word. I jumped off the cliffe the ”plan”, only to find the safty net has been taken away like… your on your own pal, (yeh thank’s buddy). Anyway i’m still following NC the ”plan” be it on my own.

    You can take it or leave it. your a bully you pray on weak people and hand out your yard stick (just an obversaion no offence ment) but on the other hand I think people do benifit from your forum so keep it up man.

    Just remember the student learn’s from there mentor. WTF if the mentor is screwed up in the brain and need’s to get a life? (no offence ment).

    Hope you get your life back man, a plot of land, build a home and live a happy life with your son and dog. WTF, has that got to do with NC?

    If you are man enough you will dream up some answer.

    Kindest Regards kickass xox

    1. Hi,

      Overreact much?

      You can still follow the free plan (I gave you), and read the forum posts, and if you followed directions you would have made a forum buddy or two (if they could stand you), and that is all the support you would need.

      Don’t blame me for your mistake, you were warned in the forum guidelines (if you even read them).

      You were banned from posting because you were abusing the privilege.

      If you “actually” read the forum guidelines as you said you did before I approved your forum membership, you would’ve seen that I do not allow excessive whining in our forum.

      All you did was whine about your ex girlfriend, that doesn’t do anything for you, or the other members who were trying to help you.

      Every time they reached out, you refused their advice.

      I expect members to support each other, not drown the other members in their fucking crybaby tears.

      There are plenty of other forums on the internet where you can go seek sympathy. I offer a plan, and support, not sympathy.

      I state clearly in the forum guidelines that our forum is not that kind of place, and if you don’t abide by the forum guidelines, you will loose your ability to post in our forum.

      So, what happens when the student is fucked in the head, and doesn’t listen to the mentor?

      He (kickass) gets his ass kicked out of the forum.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  5. Hi Scott,

    After two months of NC my ex texted some of my close friends. Basically, he told them that he wanted to change. I chat with one of these friends frequently and told her to not reply. But then last weekend, she told me that she replied and I found out that one other friend did that too. I didnt ask what they said exactly. As far as I ca remember, I never look miserable in front of them. I told them how much I wanted to move on. Should I worry my friends and ex talking to each other about me? I havent broken NC yet but he did try to call me several times. I picked up once because the number shown on my mobile was strangely a local number where I live, while we dont live in the same country. I only said hi, and the line was cut off due to bad signal. He tried again, I didnt answer. Did I send mixed-signal here? Should I resend the NC msg again? Thank you.

    1. Hi,

      All you can do is ask your friends to mind their own business, if they will not respect you, then you need to stay away from them as well.

      Worrying isn’t going to help, you have to take positive action.

      If he keeps trying to contact you, re-send the no contact message again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      1. Hi Scott,

        Thank you so much for replying. It seems that I cant stop them to keep in touch with my ex. I told them not to. They did it anyway. They told me about it eventhough I didnt ask. I live thousands miles away from the ex and my friends. They have probably met, but just never told me. Anyway I shouldve focused more on myself and stopped bothering it. Thank you once again. I’ll resend the NC msg next time he tries to reach me again. Have a wonderful weekend.

        1. You’re
          Welcome! 🙂

  6. ps sorry i got rejected for the forum – do you know why i did because i thought i followed the steps – i sent the NC message

    1. Hi,

      No, you didn’t follow the instructions correctly.

      If you are not serious enough to take the time to read, and follow instructions, DO NOT join our forum you will only get rejected or banned.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  7. ok yes thats very true he said to me he dosent answer to anyone but himself and i dont think he ever did love me – so 4yrs of fakeness – oh well i suppose i better follow the steps and forget about what his doing

    thank you

  8. but isnt he doing exactly what im trying to do – he started the NC first cut everything off from me, phone emails, landline everything so his getting his life back anyway – that makes me feel inferior like its too late because his already seen me act desperate the last 2 months

    ps i also told my ex in anger i moved on and he didnt react so have any made it worse by pretending?

    1. Hi,

      Listen.

      I help people get their lives back, not their ex boyfriends, or ex girlfriends.

      If your ex boyfriend doesn’t want to come back there is nothing you can do but move on, and find someone who loves you enough to commit to a serious relationship.

      But you don’t even know what he wants, and I highly doubt he does either.

      That is why the no contact is your best option, it will help you get over the break up and get your life back, and also force your wishy-washy ex to make a fucking decision.

      If he chooses someone else it wasn’t because of anything you did, he was going to do that anyways, why?

      He doesn’t love you enough to commit, or he just doesn’t commit to anyone but himself.

      Either way you are better off without him.

      Don’t pretend to know more than you do, let time reveal his true feelings for you.

      Stop asking me “what-if” questions and start following ALL the steps in the free plan.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  9. thank you scott – i have been depressed for 2months and he really has confused me 23 yrs old and his 11 years older than me – i also think he lies about deleting my messages because last time we argued he was almost replying verbally to my text messages.

    i gave you a +1 rating i think your websites brillant – its given me confidence just reading stories on here – that in itself is amazing as its actually stopped me crying for the first time! thank you

    ps im worried he will type the NC message in google and see i got it from this website – but i dont think his that lame that he would do that

    do you also think 2 months is a along time and my many mistakes over a long period of time have given me no hope – i want the old person i fell in love with back not the one who has hurt me so bad for the last 2 months

    1. Hi,

      It doesn’t matter if he discovers where you copied the NC message from, he can’t stop you from getting your life back, and he will realize that.

      The no contact rule is about getting your life back, not your ex boyfriend…you are more important than he is.

      Once he realizes things are going to change forever, he will start to evolve and make life style choices, choices he would never make unless he had to.

      Anything that happens from here on out will only make things better if you don’t let yourself fall back into your old ways.

      This is your personal/emotional evolution, and the only one who can hold you back, is you.

      1-2 months is average for most of the people who follow the free plan. Most people try everything they can before finding my site, don’t worry about it.

      Thanks for the +1 vote, my site is getting buried by all the marketers that spend their time building search engine rankings instead of “actually helping people”.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  10. Hi there – its been 2months and a bit since we broke up – i have only just found this website. Prior to seeing this website i made all the mistakes you can think of – after a month of not seeing him he sent me emails saying he still cares and we met up it was nice but i couldent trust him so the next day i kept going to his and the arguments started all over again (that was the end of september)

    throughout october i wouldent leave him alone and he got so so angry and blocked all my emails so they kept bouncing back to me.

    now my question is as he hasent replied to any of my texts and blocked all emails is there any point sending the NC message (i sent it yesterday the 9th of october – do you still think if i made that step after all the prior mistakes i still have a chance (plus i think his moved on with a new woman)

    can you just give me your advice on whether me sending the NC message (without changes)was still the first step and would you say theres any hope – i sent the NC message by text but how do i know if his even read it or got rid of the phone

    thank you so much

    ps when i said couldent trust i kept going to his house questioning him about certain things and he even admitted lieing to me

    sorry for not sending the message all in one go – i forgot to add i did get a delivery report saying message was recieved – but that dosent mean he read it cause he said he will delete any texts he gets from me – if i try and post a letter also with the NC message then i will look silly if he did read my text?

    1. Hi,

      Yes, sending the NC message without any changes was the correct first step.

      Don’t worry about if he read it or not, if he contacts you again, send the same exact NC message, and then you know he got it.

      I personally think he is full of shit, and he is lying about deleting your messages.

      You have a 50/50 chance of getting your ex back, but the real questions is, is that the right thing to do?

      Using the no contact rule correctly will reveal your ex’s true feelings for you.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  11. Hi,

    7 year LDR. I wanted time, so I told him. 6 weeks later I wanted to be with him again. He didn’t. He said he didn’t trust me anymore and wanted to stay alone.

    He told me to forget him. I said OK, sent him the NC letter, stopped calling and ignored his calls. I answered one by mistake, he said he wanted me back, he missed me. I was so happy! But 2 days later he said he was just feeling alone, and wanted me to be his FWB. I said I wanted to stick to NC, but he kept calling (this week). Last night I sent him a text telling him we should talk (I was drunk and shouldn’t have.) He will call later.

    Don’t know what to do anymore. NC card is already used, he doesn’t respect NC, and I don’t know what he wants from me.

    What should be my next move???

    Thanks.

    1. Aru said:

      Don’t know what to do anymore. NC card is already used, he doesn’t respect NC, and I don’t know what he wants from me.

      What should be my next move???

      Hi,

      You can play the “NC card” more than once.

      In fact, there have been some people who needed to use that card quite a few times before becoming successful.

      The idea is to learn form your mistakes, not repeat them.

      If you use the no contact rule correctly, you will get your life back again, and all the rest will fall into place.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  12. Not sure if this will apply to me. I have been seeing my guy exclusively for 3 months. How we stopped seeing each other had to do with me trying to ease drop on his conversation with his roommate & I was caught. Long story. My guy had been acting strange for some time & when I tried to confront him on this at his house he wouldn’t let me in & said he roommate (who is male) was in a bad mood. Roommate saw us talking outside & said he was confused & went back inside. My guy told me to go home & we will talk later & not to worry about it basically. But since he had been acting so strange for the past week I decided I was going sneak around & see if I could ease drop. I know childish, but my curiousity got the best of me. Well he caught me & yelled at me and told me to go home! In which I did. But since then I had sent him several amoung several texts & VM to him for the past 2 days after. Basically apologizing & asking if it is over. And no response & then he finally did & said “GOOD BYE! FOR GOOD! LEAVE ME ALONE..” In which I did & it crushed me, so I said good bye but called & left a VM apologizing again & said I cared & I will give me his time to himself. So would the NC still apply to me? Or would I word it differently?

    Confused

    And oh I should mention It has been almost 4 days now since I have said anything to him.

    1. Hi,

      4 days without talking is nothing to worry about, you need to use the recommended NC message (no changes).

      You can reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you by using the no contact rule.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  13. Hello!

    My ex and I have been together for two years and 8 months and been living together since. We’ve been through hell together and back and each time something causes us to break up, we would always eventually come back together again. The whole time I’ve been a great gf to him and a great friend. I have been taking care of him since and took him in because he had trouble finding a job and he had no where to go, literally. As soon as he felt his life was coming together, (because he thought he was getting a job), I found out that he’s been cheating on me with another girl and wants to leave me. He obviously planned to never tell me about her, I found out for myself. That whole “the grass is greener on the other side” attitude. She’s very unattractive btw with two kids by someone else, on welfare and she doesn’t have a job and neither does he. She is being taken care of by her friend. And the fact that they hardly don’t know each other, (He’s only know her for a month).

    When I confronted him, he kept saying he did it because he is unhappy. I kicked him out and he’s been staying with her. When I tried to get him to work it out, he refuses. Saying he’s cares about her, doesn’t want to hurt her feelings and yet he doesn’t hardly know her. I know for a fact he doesn’t love her. Then he turns around and says that it is hard for him to choose and says he wants me and her. Then when he gets in front of the other women, he fronts off and says I don’t want to be with you anymore, that “so and so is my woman now.” (I know, bs right?) He said he wants to do his own thing.

    We get into a huge fight the night leaves after he gets his stuff. A week later he calls me but my uncle picks up the phone. He says to my uncle to tell me that he will come by for the rest of his stuff, which he knows damn well he has nothing else in my place and whatever is left here I told him I would drop it off at his aunt’s place and he agrees. He never shows up and he doesn’t call back after that and I haven’t heard from him sense and I never tried to get into contact since. But then I find out that around the same time he calls me he tries to stay with his foster sister for a week and then when she says no, he asks to stay with a friend of mine who lives several blocks away from me for a week. He tells him no. Suspicious, right??

    And the fact that he kissed me when we were talking (this was around the same time I was begging him to work things out when I found out. Yea, I’ll admit that, but it was the first and last time) means he still has feelings for me right? He kissed me the way he used to kiss me as if were dating for the first time. I felt my absence and us reuniting re-kindled something. I have so many doubts about what I feel and thinking that I get so confused. He said he wants to work things out with me the day we talked when it happened but as soon as he gets in contact with the other woman, (because he said he wanted to go back to get whatever he left at her place) he changes his mind and says she’s my woman now. He fronts off in front of her because she was there. And then I hear from him a week later, “telling my uncle he’s stopping by to get his stuff” and then he never shows up and I never hear from him again.

    I’ve given him a place to stay, been really a perfect gf to him. He came into my life with nothing and I’ve shared everything with him! I’ve exposed so much positive side to life to him, we had a lot of fun together, have done things together he has never done before and made a huge impact on his life. We went places because we both love traveling. He has no transportation, I do. And neither does the other woman because she takes the bus. He litterally went from sugar to sh*t. Even though what he did to me was beyond cruel, I miss him very much. It’s been 3 weeks since it has happened and since the break up. I don’t want to call him, I’m waiting for him to call me because if I do call him, it will just give him a major ego trip. So that’s why I want to apply the NC rule and I have been sticking with it. I even blocked him from my FB.

    Recently, I found out that a friend of mine ran into him and his new girl at the bustop. He introduced her to my friend as his fiance. He kept telling my friend how he was unhappy and how he is now over and over and over again. And then he asks about how I am doing. My friend tells him that’s I’m doing great and he says he’s glad I’m doing great.

    I guess I’m hoping this female is just a fling, or a rebound girl and I’m hoping he comes to his senses and tries to contact me and would want to work things out with me. Because I’m clearly better than this girl, better looking and I have a lot more to offer. I’m hoping he will realize how special I am and realize that he will never find another like me. EVER. I still love him. This is the first time he’s cheating on me btw. I want to forgive him but I dont know if I can ever trust him again. Can the whole idea of the NC rule still apply even when he’s living with her and in the company of another women? Even though I did beg and plead and we fought and got each other angry, is it too late? (Sorry for the whole life story)

    How will the NC message for me will work if my ex is living with the other woman and I don’t know the address? I don’t know his email address and he doesn’t have a cell phone. Calling there is out of the question as well. And not to mention I already blocked him from my FB. Is it too late? Will the NC rule still work for me without the message? I haven’t been talking to him or heard from him since the break up, cheating on me incident which was 3 and a half weeks ago.

    1. Hi,

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – Sending the recommended NC message is crucial to your success, and necessary if you ever intend on becoming an active member of our Break up Help forum.

      Find a way to send it to him, do not deliver it by calling, VM, or by telling him face to face, it must be in writing.

      You could unblock him on FB send the message, and then block him again.

      I know women value security in a relationship, you have to honestly ask yourself; “how safe and secure could you ever feel with a unreliable man like this?”

      1. I see.

        But it takes 48 hours to reblock him after you unblock someone.
        I don’t want him to send any messages to me or replies when he gets it.

        And does this sound like this girl is a fling or a rebound? I felt that with my absense and not being around or hearing from me, it will get him to rethink about our relationship and contact. And maybe even want to work things out. They have only been dating for a couple weeks or a month. The break up is still fresh and their relationship is new.

        But it’s hard for him to do all that when he is in the company of another woman.

        1. Hi,

          That isn’t a problem, you just ignore his replies (if he even does)…delete them.

          It is very important to use the no contact rule correctly, and that means sending the no contact message.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

          1. I went ahead and sent him the NC message. So what next? 😀

            I have to admit, I was afraid to send it because I was afraid that the message would push him farther away from me, ruining the chances of getting back together or re-kindling something new (even though I know he’s with someone right now and living with her) and to be honest, I do want him back 🙁 I still feel like this girl is a rebound.

            But I read all your blogs and I know this is the time to work on myself. The break-up is still fresh ( 3 1/2 weeks fresh) so I know it will take time and I know I have to give it time. (I am a impaitient person lol) I want everything to happen now so I remind myself, it’s not going to happen overnight.

            1. missminx says:

              I went ahead and sent him the NC message. So what next?

              Great Job!

              It takes real courage to send the recommended NC message, and you did it.

              As far as what to do next, you should be following the free plan to get your ex back, it will tell you how to join our free break up help forum.

              You can get real support from fellow ass kickers who are evolving past a break up just like you are, plus I answer questions as well.

              Thank you for writing.

              Take Care,

              S.W.

              1. Thank you very much 🙂

                Btw, do you think she is a rebound girl from what I told you? Just what some advice.

                And so I can on ahead and re-register with the forum??

                1. Hi,

                  This doesn’t sound like a very strong relationship, it seems like he just wants to hide from things for a while, but I wouldn’t worry about that.

                  You will see the fastest results if you focus on getting your life back, not your ex.

                  Let your old failed relationship go, and you WILL get your life (happiness) back, one day at a time.

                  Not only will you be happier than before, you will be much stronger than before too.

                  All the members of our forum will attest to that fact.

                  You can register for our forum, but you MUST obey ALL the rules…read the forum guidelines and terms of service BEFORE joining.

                  Thank you for writing.

                  Take Care,

                  S.W.

                  1. Thanks so much! 🙂

                    And guess what? The same day I sent the NC message, what does he do? He calls me that same day! Not even an hour has passed! Of course I dont pick up the phone, my uncle does and he uses that same excuse. “I’m coming to pick up my stuff.” and he doesn’t have any stuff here and my uncle said he sounded mad!

                    My mom warns him not to come over and tells him there is nothing here like we have been telling him. The next day I didn’t expect him to show up but he did, but he brings his rebound girl with him! A lot of nerve, right? I stayed inside of course and didnt see him or talk to him. My family was out there to intercept them and stop them from coming to the door. They parked way on the other side and hid. He was hesistant to coming up at first but the other girl kept pulling him and edging him on to continue.

                    My uncle stops him and tells him to leave, that he has no reason of calling or showing up. He gets mad, throws a fit and they leave (temporaily). He calls the cops to get his stuff, the cops show up and I talk to them and I tell them everything that happened and they believed me and advised me to get a restraining order against them both. The cops leave and talk to the ex who were waiting somehwere and they leave and he or she still had to nerve to call me an hour later but no one picks up and I havent heard from him sense. My aunt tells me that they were hugging and kissing outside but the only reason he did that was because my aunt was outside and of course he knew she was going to tell me. He’s not the person to show or express affection in public, never was. Just another front like when he talked to my friend. And of course the relationship is new but eventually it will get stale. A rebound relationship never lasts long right? That’s what I have been hearing.

                    Surprisingly, he hasn’t blocked me from his FB page or replied to the message yet. I’m still waiting for the 48 hours to reblock him.

                    I felt he was truly “happy” and over me he wouldn’t go through all this trouble trying to get to me or whatever the reason may be. What do you think from a guy’s point of you?

                    1. Hi,

                      I think he was trying to get you jealous, and I think you can do better than a guy like him.

                      Thank you for writing.

                      Take Care,

                      S.W.

  14. hi scott..

    me and my ex have brock up amonth and 2 weeks ago..i was in a no contact period but i think it didnt work in some points especially i was in a rush to get him back…

    the reason for my braek up is he is 4 years younger than me,and looks like his familly have put a realy strong affect on that on him and he broke up…
    one of my friend told me yesterday that my ex told him that he have made the decition and wont think about me ever again..and dont wanna talk about it too…

    i havent spoke to him for 3 weeks or so….what my friend told me really made me feel panic i guess…i felt like i should move on with this.so i send him ur recomended NC MASSAGE just now and started regaining my life back..

    its not he i want … its my life….

    but in my case do u think that i can change him…he is 23 and iam 27…i trully love him and when we were together he too….its bit hard to make up my mind….

    but i remove everything which remind me of him and became clean…and also i deactivated my FB too.

    i need my life back..and if possible my ex too……
    will this work for me in my situation and how???

    zuzan

    1. Hi,

      Yes this will work for your situation, as long as you stick to the no contact rule, and follow all the steps in the free plan to get your ex back.

      Just be patient, and get ready to personally evolve, survive your break up, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      1. hi scott,

        Thank u very much for ur words…it gave me so much confidence…i learn by my mistakes.i no if i rush througth things it wont work out at all…

        wether to get my ex back or not,what i want is to live my life HAPPILY…thank u soo much for ur support…i feel at least there is someone out there to help me when i need it the most….

        Thank u,
        and take care

        zuzan

  15. I’m in LDR for 2 years now. Things went fine at first, and we’ll meet once in 2-3 months until since early this month, he began to withdraw and suddenly initiated his own ‘no-contact program’ with me…why i said this it’s because he no longer text/email/chat/calls me like we used to do. This happened since a month ago.

    I had been the one who constantly trying to keep up with him, wondering what’s wrong with our relationship…if he is thinking to break up, and do all the calling/text/chat once in few days. The answer I always got is ‘I’m blank’ ‘I don’t know’ ‘I got problems now and I don’t want you to get involved.’ …3 days ago a friend of us asked me if we’re okay, I lied to her by saying yes…she said she didn’t believe me because she told me that was chatting with him and when she inquired about how’s things between me and him, he told her ‘I feel like I wanted to be single again.’ and changed the topic. (and she posted the chat messages to me)

    Now…should I start with the NC? Please advice…

    1. Hi,

      Now would be a great time to start using the no contact rule to reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  16. hi scott,

    i have been in NC with my ex for closer to 3 weeks now.but 3 days ago he called me unexpectedly..so i was surpriced..

    he was all asking about how i am doing,about my job and etc.i was bit exited but managed to be cool and relaxed and end it by saying that i have to go now coz i have to go out for some work.and i said i call him some other time when i have time..and then he asked me where i am going and said ok and hung up..

    what i wanna no is what to do now.? i didnt call him after words..coz i feel like i should have more time to be cool with the break up..
    is it ok to call him within a week or so, or do i have to wait for some time…give me some advice

    thanks
    jenn

    1. Hi,

      I am assuming you have been following the free plan to get your ex back, if so…

      Your ex boyfriend wasn’t respecting your NC request, and you rewarded him by answering the phone and answering questions.

      That was a big mistake!

      Resend the recommended NC message as outlined in the free plan to get your ex back, and then stick to the plan.

      The no contact rule only works when you stick to it.

      Remember this is about getting your life back, not your ex boyfriend.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  17. Hi Scott,

    So sorry I didn’t mean to violate the terms and conditions applied! Because I read the follow up plan twice… and it stated that I should post my break up story and NC diary at the same time! my bad for assuming that I should post it in one post! ): So sorry! I am being serious. I didn’t mean to refuse not to or to disobey your terms ): Please gimme another chance.

    Take careee.

    1. Hi,

      The point is if you can’t read and follow directions, the free plan to get your ex back will not work for you.

      There are no more chances, I suggest you look for advice and support somewhere else.

      And pay attention next time.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  18. Hey Scott,

    I subscribed to the free plan last Sunday, however I have some difficulty logging in where it mentioned that the ‘user doesn’t exist’, thus I tried to re-register again. I did send my NC letter to him and started posting up my break up story and supposedly to proceed with my NC diary and my personal evolution.

    He broke up with me about a month ago because he got back together with his ex. I can’t deny there were so many issues in between us – our different schedules, his inferiority towards me, and his ex girlfriend who is his current girlfriend who kept on bugging us.

    About 3 hours after emailing him the NC letter, he messaged me out of nowhere sending pictures of his cars after an accident. I don’t wanna break my NC, and that I decided to completely ignore him. He kept on messaging, asking how I am doing as he is pretty sure that I’m doing fine. He tried emailing me as well, to acknowledge me about his accident. He even called ( I didn’t pick up ) and texted that he needed help from me in terms of transportation.

    I am so puzzled right now, I mean is he only taking advantage of me because he knows how silly I was few weeks back after the broke up that I begged, pleaded him to reconcile, I was having the bad time of my life getting depressed when he was happy with his new girlfriend. I did all the DONT’s right after the break up for 3 weeks, until I decided to stop for 1 week, and thank God I your site, Scott. ( that’s when I decided to send the NC letter ) Just because I did love him so much, does that give him the bonus that he can ask me for help now… when I am coping up better? I mean, where is his current girlfriend? What does he want from me? I am confused.

    Help me out, Scott!

    Thanks.

    1. Hi,

      If you get a message that your account doesn’t exist, it is because your account was closed to due violating the TOS or Forum Guidelines.

      All these answers you are asking yourself about your failed relationship will be answered in time, but you MUST focus on getting your life back using the free plan to get your ex back, and the no contact rule first.

      Don’t worry about your ex boyfriend, let his current girlfriend take care of him, and you focus on yourself, and allow yourself to get over this break up.

      The only one holding you back and hurting you, is YOURSELF.

      Everyday you waste whining about the break up us another wasted day.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  19. hi scott.,
    me and my ex broke up 3 weeks ago.last week i sent him nc massage.and i never spoke to him ever since..i read ur free plane and the other articals.and those have helped me so much to make up my mind and move on with my life.thank u so very much for ur great advices..

    the reason we broke up was as he said he some times feel like he need space in big time.he didnt like to speake to me at that times…he ignored me and didnt even care about me at all.this made me so mad..

    this have happend befor even.we have been together for 4 years now.but we mannaged to get over it some how.but he used to say that it will affect to both of us if we get marry.

    he loved me so much.but he was thinking about something which could happen within 10 or 15 years and broke up.(he have 3 sisiters,they all are married and all the marrages are messed up.he is bit scare about marrage) BUT the reall problem he have is his job….it is a depressing job…so i feel like he took it over me.

    scott i belive that i can work this out.when he get over with it. he is in a city 3rhs from where i am.so i dont get to see him at all.the only communiction system we had was phon.but now i have stopped that too.

    scott,is this is a common situation in men? i want things to be ok..even if it takes months thats also fine.sometimes i feel bad coz he wanted me to move on with my life. which is what i am dong now.i am afraid that he would think like i have forgotten him.though i send him the nc he havent respond to it yet.he is a bit resistant lover…

    but what ever it is i am in the plan for sure…
    scott what do u think….give me an advice..

    thanks…
    Romes

    1. Hi,

      The only important thing right now is your happiness.

      People will use all sorts of “excuses” when they don’t have the courage to tell someone the truth.

      You can use the no contact rule to find out the truth.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  20. Hey Scott.

    I will keep this short, but I really hope I can make you get the feeling:

    What you do is VERY noble. It must be really hard at times, supporting so many people, and having many of them sound so bossy.

    I don’t think they do it on purpose, they’re just desperate. But still, sometimes, what you get on the receiving end is some sort of “bad” feedback.

    Don’t let this ever put you down. I don’t know how to stress this concept enough : YOU ARE SOOOOO VEEEEEERYYY N O B L E.

    What you do, giving your time and energy for free…

    People like you make this planet a better place, and your actions definitely make your soul/heart/core-energy a much healthier engine (the same way a Porche is valuable for its engine more than any of its other luxuries? Like that.)

    YOU REALLY ARE CHANGING LIVES AROUND THE G L O B E.

    Making a difference, touching SO many lives.

    It’s PURE BEAUTY.

    Thank you so much.

    1. Thank You, and You’re Welcome! 🙂

      I hope that I am making a positive difference in people’s lives.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  21. Me I have been divorcedfor 4 months now me and my ex have had some heated moments. We share in custody i live in the house she in a room she rents. Last night for no reason we got together for dinner i asked she accepted after dinner we went danceing and had a blast. After 3 am we left i asked if she wanted to sleep over and i would drive her home in the morning she accepted. Well we had sex today i asked her about it and she said she don’t remember it asked her if she would like to go out for a movie tonight and she replied thats not going to happen.
    Please Help
    Tom

    1. Hi,

      Having sex with your ex wife is not going to help you get her back, it will only fuck things up more, as you have seen for yourself.

      I can show you how to use the no contact rule to evolve past your divorce and get your life back.

      I help people survive a divorce and get their lives back, not get their ex wife back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the divorce, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  22. My ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago. It will be a month this Saturday. I stopped having contact with him probably 1 day after. I never sent the NC message though, I had it all written out but my friend’s told me not to send it. So I never did. Instead, we both just went cold turkey not talking to each other.

    Is it too late to send the NC message? Esp since he hasn’t spoken to me in 3 weeks. (I did find out he uses his friend to keep tabs on me though).

    1. Hi,

      What about your friends?

      You listened to them this far, why not keep on listening to them, it sounds like they run your life for you.

      I help people help themselves, and that takes courage.

      If you are going to let your friends tell you what to do, you don’t have what it takes to use the no contact rule properly.

      It is NEVER too late to send the NC message and get your life back.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get your guy back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Stop second-guessing yourself, and listening to your friends, they just like playing in your life, they get to meddle without any consequences.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  23. Hi S, William

    My ex and I broke up about a month ago, since then I have been pleading begging him, I even went to see him, and thought things were sorted out.
    He said he wants to be friends. & I Agreed sent him an text saying if its friends you want then im willing to do it to get closer to you.

    yesterday, i saw him.
    and we text all day. I found myself pleading again. and in the end i said yes we can be friends what ever makes you happy and im wlling to work at it.

    now he thinks we are cool and friends.
    he is the sort of guy who if i retract my statement and say i dont want to be friends hell see me as being immature and wanting to cut of all contact.

    so please. what do I do?

    Honey

    1. Hi,

      Your ex boyfriend is a selfish idiot, and you are a sap.

      If he had any feelings for you, he would just cut you loose instead of feeding you enough crumbs to stay interested, and keep you trapped in the “just friends” zone.

      Since he has no balls, you are going to have to gather the courage and use the no contact rule to set yourself free.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  24. Hi Scott.

    I sent the recommended NC message exactly three weeks ago today. When I sent it, he waited until he got home to ask me to talk about the message. He asked me twice at different times during the day, but I did not talk about it. For the past month I have been sleeping on the couch in the living room, and on several occasions he has told me to come sleep in the room and that he didn’t feel right with me sleeping on the couch. However, I do not give in. We have been doing our own thing, and I have been been going out with friends and even spending a couple of nights out of the house, as well as he has. He also went on vacation for a week, and when he got back, I was getting ready for work and he came up behind me and gave me a kiss on the back of my neck. There are times when I catch him staring at me, but I just continue to mind my business.

    He tries to constantly make some type of physical contact with me either by touching my leg, hand or hair and he has initiated small talk with me and has asked if I lost weight and how much did I lose and made a comment about my hairstyle. I give short responses not to be rude, but I never go into detail about my life. I’ve also been packing my stuff since I have to move out by the end of June,and he has been present a couple of times when I have been packing.
    This past weekend, I spent the night at my friend’s house and didn’t return until Sunday afternoon. When he got home that night, I was doing some more packing, and it took him a while to say hello, then a few minutes later he went out and got back late that night.

    When he got home, I was sleeping on the couch and he stood there for a few seconds and then went to the room. A few minutes later, he sends me a text saying that he didn’t realize that things were that bad that I couldn’t wish him a Happy Father’s Day. He also said that he has tried to keep things good bewteen us but it seems that I don’t want to be bothered. He went on to say that through all of this he still loves me very much and he misses me although he does not expect these words to change anything. He said that he knows I’ve moved on but felt that he needed to let me know that. He wishes that things could be better between us.

    I did not respond; however, in the morning before I went to work, I told him that I did wish him a Happy Father’s Day, and he said that he didn’t hear me. I didn’t say anything else and just left. Last night, I bumped into one of his mother’s friends. The friend called me later on to do a family member a favor from my ex’s computer. I had to call him because his computer crashed, and I didn’t want him to lose anything on the computer. I told him that his mother’s friend was at the house with the family member and that I was helping him write a resume but the computer crashed. Everything was resolved and he thanked me. When he got home, he came to me and again placed his hand on my leg, stayed there for a few minutes staring at me and said thank you for helping them out. The friend, however, told me to tell my ex not to let his mother know that he was at the house. My ex asked me why and that it seemed strange so I told him to call him so that he could explain it to him. Apparently, the mother told her friend that he shouldn’t come to the house uninvited and that he and I had broken up along with a few other things I’m sure.

    Have I been handling things correctly considering that I am still living there and am fully aware that I can’t completely ignore him or be rude?

    Thank you.

    1. Hi,

      There is a forum member going through a similar situation, and you can read her NC diary here:

      Using No Contact When Living With Your Ex

      It seems like you have the general idea, but just to clarify a few things…

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – Allowing him to constantly touch you is NOT a very good idea, and will fuck up both of your personal evolutions. If you’re “really” serious about NC, tell him to stop. He is NOT respecting your NC request. If you are not serious about NC and getting your life back, keeping doing what you’re doing.

      1. Hi Scott.

        Thank you for your response.

        There were times when I did push his hand away when he tried to touch me, but I thought that by not reacting or responding to his touching me that it served the same purpose. I do understand that I actually have to make it clear to him by being firm about my decision.

        I am definitely very serious about following NC and will follow your advice as far as the touching is concerned and about getting my life back. I really believe that it will be a lot easier once I move out. I have no problem ignoring him at home, but he is the one that always initiates some type of communication. As I stated before, I manage to keep the responses short with an aloof attitude.

        Thank you for your constant support.

        Thank you very much for your constant support.

        1. You’re Welcome! 🙂

  25. Scott,

    My ex and I sort of mutually agreed to not talk for a while. That was two months ago. Do I still need to send the NC message? I think it would seem redundant to do that.

    The only problem is, we did not specify who would contact who first so it’s still kind of up in the air. We also didn’t specify a time.

    I hesitate to send an NC message two months after we mutually agreed on NC so I am not sure what the next step is for me.

    BTW, I’m going to stop posting to Twitter TODAY! Thanks for your advice on that.

    md

    1. Hi,

      It won’t seem redundant.

      You want to move on and get your life back, you’re tired of waiting and wondering, right?

      Sending the recommended no contact message will get the ball rolling again.

      You don’t need to both agree on a time to reconnect, it is about when you are ready, then you contact your ex to explore the possibilities of a new relationship.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

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