How to Get Your Ex Back Using The Infamous “Missing” Link

Now That You Have The "Missing" Link Go Use No Contact Correctly

You want to get your ex back, and, you have bought every book out there, but, you still can’t get anywhere, right?

You need the “missing” link.

What is that?

Keep on reading.

It seems a chain is only as strong, as the weakest link.

But, what if it’s missing a link, altogether?

How to get your ex back using the infamous “missing” link.

 


 

The “Missing” Link

 

Every one of those books out there refers to using some version of the no contact rule, as your first step in, getting your ex back.

But, none of them really go into much detail.

I am going to fix that, here and now.

NC is just keeping your ex “out of the loop” personally, while you follow a plan on how to survive your breakup.

Here is how to start, and apply, no contact, in a variety of situations.

 


 

The First Step

 

Politely tell your ex, that you need some time and space, to work out some personal issues, and, you”ll be in touch, when you’re ready.

Also, tell them that you would really appreciate it if they would respect that, and, not contact you, unless it was something like, shared children, or financial affairs.

You can use any version of this you like, but, this is a general idea…OK?

The no contact message is a lot more effective (and powerful) when you’re polite.

 

Scenario 1 – You work for the same company

 

Just keep things polite, and do not engage in any conversations that are personal, just keep it all about work.

 

Scenario 2 – You Have The Same Circle of Friends

 

Pretty much the same advice, be polite, and, do not discuss your personal life with them, or, with your friends, when your ex is present.

Same thing if you happen to run into them, out in public, stay cool.

 

Scenario 3 – You share a child or children together

 

Once again, when picking up, or dropping off your kids just be polite, and, keep it all about your kids.

Same thing when you go to any of your kid’s events, where your ex will be present.

 

Scenario 4 – You’re roommates, live in the same house, but not room

 

Just be a polite roommate, keep to yourself, and, if it is too uncomfortable, make arrangements ASAP, to live somewhere else.

 


 

What If Your Ex, Keeps Contacting You?

 

Politely ignore them, you are not being rude, they are.

If they continue to contact you, resend the recommended NC message, as outlined in the free breakup survival plan.

The biggest excuse there is, (and, I do mean excuse) to break no contact is my ex just won’t leave me alone, so I had to.

No, you didn’t, and, now you have shown your ex, that they can still control you.

Now that you know how to get your ex back using the (not so missing) “Missing” link…get back out there!

If there is still something missing in your attempts to win your ex back, then, subscribe to my free newsletter, and, let me help you.

I can supply you with a chain of information, designed to teach you how to survive a breakup, and, how to get your ex back.

If you have any comments or questions for me, please write them in the comment box below, and, I will answer them ASAP!

 


 

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

 

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008, to overcome breakup pain, and, get their lives back.

I even have an “About” section, that I recommend you read.

I realize the address, of my site, is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but, I “really” teach people, how to get their lives back, not just their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me, (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter, for access to the free breakup survival plan, and, start getting your life back, today.

The answers you need, to start your personal evolution, are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come, and get them.

Once, you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise.

If you have any comments or questions, please write them, in the comment box, below.

If this article was useful, or helpful, to you in any way, please show your appreciation, by giving me a “+1″, using the buttons, below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.

414 Comments

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  1. I don’t want my ex back, l want to learn how to keep away from him and mend my broken heart.

    1. Hi Anne,

      You came to the right website.

      The choice is always YOURS, when it comes to reconnecting with your ex.

      In the meantime, you should subscribe to my free newsletter, and, follow all the instructions, in the emails that follow.

      They will guide you through the free breakup survival plan, with daily instruction, and advice.

      You are NOT alone.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  2. Ana H. (Iogenesis)

    Hi, again. This is my last question about no contact and it is very important. I’ll try to make it very very short and clear.
    You know my story (I joined 2 days ago). I started no contact (sent the message no changes) yesterday for second time. The problem is we have a baby and I know No Contact can be “broken” only if its something about our baby.

    The problem is that I moved with my parents and they were helping me with the baby and supporting me (I help them on weekends with the familiar business) so they were taking care economically of the baby for about 2 months, when my ex didn’t have a job. Now he has one and he is sending me about $25 dollars every thursday. I need to do the birth registration stuff but dad told me: “You and D. are in your right to take care of your baby but if you decide to give him (D.) the right to give the baby his last name, you need to find another home and look for a job without my support.

    When I broke No contact was for this reason. I told him he has the right to give the baby his last name in order to have rights about him (but also obligations) but that I didn’t have any house to move in and I don’t have a job. He told me that I was not a child and I need to leave my parents in order to be independent and to take responsability of the baby. We argued because I told him I needed to finish University and obviously he is not going to help me with house, money or whatever. He said “It’s only about money, you are thinking just in yourself, if you don’t give the baby my last name its OK, do whatever FITS better with you, he will be my son no matter if he is here or in China. You are afraid of leaving your parents and living your own life, and now your dad wants to fuck up me” Then I dropped the No contact message again (you’ve already read it) and he answered sending kisses to the baby.

    This morning I tell my dad that I’m moving because I want to take my own decisions about my son and he agreed. He is going to give me a house in Ensenada and a small business where I can work and earn what I need. He respects my decision of giving my baby his dad’s last name, although he is ANGRY with my ex because my dad give him a job, house, money support when my ex needed money with problems with his other son, and also my dad give my ex money to pay the last UNIVERSITY semester and help us when the baby born, and my ex WAS NOT GRATEFUL with my dad, instead, he was so mean and angry because he says my dad wanted to control his life by giving him terms in order to keep the job (now you can understand why my dad was so angry with him).

    Well, now I’m moving in order to be independent and take my own decisions, but I need some advice here. Should I break contact in order to tell him that we need to take the baby to the birth registration (don’t know how to say this in English) and that now we are going to take responsability of the baby? Because I think its his right, and maybe he will be ANGRY if I don’t give the baby his last name or if I don’t notify him about the birth registration, he will be saying that my parents are controlling me and that I am afraid of living life. What should I do? Thanks for reading :/

    1. Ana H. (Iogenesis)

      Sorry, when I said “My dad GIVE my ex money, university, help him with his other child and with ours,… etc” I meant “GAVE”, past tense, you know 😛 Thanks. So, should I call my ex to tell him I’m giving him the right to take care “officially” of our baby by giving the baby his last name in the birth register, or should I wait him to call although HE THINKS I’m going to choose stay with my parents and that means no rights for him and he doesn’t know I’m moving to Ensenada?

    2. Hi,

      Using the no contact rule when you share a child with your ex is pretty straightforward – keep your conversations about your shared child’s business and nothing else.

      If you are contacting your ex to discuss your shared child’s business – this is NOT breaking NC – everything else is off limits while you are using the no contact rule to evolve past the breakup, and get your life back.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  3. I already started with my No Contact rule. I sent the recommended message and I screwed things up because I ended begging. Then my ex started blaming on me and finally I ignored him and started agreeing with everything he was saying, so he became deperate and changed his words into “I know I am your true love, but you lose me…” “You are pretending you are strong, you have to say what you really feel, don’t be so rude, speak the language of love…” etc. I just agreed when he said he doesn’t wanted to be “hurt” anymore and he was “afraid” to be in a relationship again with a selfish person like me (indeed he was treating me so bad in the past and ignoring me!) but I didn’t discuss and I said OK. Then I asked him to stop sending me messages. BUT you wrote in my NC Diary that I should sent the No Contact message again. I did it and he replied “You’ve already sent that yesterdady. I think it things are very clear now, unless you had sent again the message WITH ANOTHER PURPOSE. My dad says “hello” to our baby. Hope you and the baby are well”

    It’s driving me nuts! I feel silly for sending the message AGAIN!!! How sending the message again can help this situation’ (He ended the relationship 2 weeks ago, we were 2 years together and we have a baby). I sent the message but I think is a mistake, please, explain how this can be good for my situation. Plus, I don’t want to contact him ever, if we are meant to be together I really feel he DOES need to contact me and do all the work because I was working in the relationship a lot in the past, I love him but I don’t feel I have to keep giving him whatever he wants.

    Just tell me why it is not a silly thing to resend the message 10 hours after I sent it first time, I think he thinks I’m silly and I’m playing games, and he will drive away because of this. Thanks for reading. I’ll wait for your answer.

    1. Ana H. said:

      Just tell me why it is not a silly thing to resend the message 10 hours after I sent it first time, I think he thinks I’m silly and I’m playing games, and he will drive away because of this.

      The only thing that is “silly” is to send the NC message, and then break it because you are too scared to stand by your decision.

      You are right – he will think you are “playing games” if you keep sending the NC message, and then breaking your own NC request…make sense?

      You have to resend the NC message (no changes) to reestablish your request for NC, and to show your ex you are back in control.

      My advice is if you don’t want your ex to think you’re playing games – resend the exact NC message as outlined in the free plan, and then stick to it by following ALL the steps in the free plan.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  4. Hi SW

    What if you have already done this plan 1.5 years ago and it worked,The correct NC message was sent and 1.5 years later you break up again because stupidly we both didn’t resolve our underlying issues?
    I have complete faith in the plan but can it work again 2 years later after she knows what to expect,has seen the NC message before and is now saying, “Its proven that we wont work because we keep breaking up and I don’t believe you will change as much a I want to believe so I’m not taking that chance again”

    Will this NC help to change those feeling…..a second time?

    1. Frank said:

      What if you have already done this plan 1.5 years ago and it worked,The correct NC message was sent and 1.5 years later you break up again because stupidly we both didn’t resolve our underlying issues?

      Hi Frank,

      That statement right there tells me one thing.

      You got back together too soon, and just resumed your old failed relationship.

      This plan is not about trying to convince your ex to come back, it is about leaving the old failed relationship behind, and getting your life back.

      A fresh start.

      I recommend that you follow the free plan again, and send the recommended NC message as outlined in the free plan (no changes), and this time stick with NC for at least 12 months.

      This should give you both time to evolve past the break up.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

      1. I have to agree with you.This plan DOES work but like you said…its about getting ourselves back and it sure does make life enjoyable again.I have faith in you SW because Ive worked with you before and what you say does work,the plan works. I have registered on the forum and I have sent the NC message word for word.I know the drill. 🙂

          1. Hi SW just re read the free plan again as suggested…I found what we didn’t do the last time…

            The section entitled “Stage 2 – Personal Evolution”

            It says, Evaluate all the things that went wrong and led up to the break up.What are some of the things that lead back to the breakup.Make a list of things to change about yourself and things you didn’t like about your ex to talk about later when you reconnect later in the plan.

            We never spoke about these things, the things that we should of. This is the main reason we had broke up again because we ignored them…

            Do you feel 12 months is really the key to this if I/we missed this step…Don’t get me wrong, I fully trust you in the trenches!

            I would NEVER contact her if I haven’t evolved properly (this evolution is about me), its relationship suicide. So my question is…If I evolve to a point where I’ve kicked loves ass ,would I still need to wait 12 months if we actually talk about what went wrong this time which was always the missed crucial step? Even after 12 months,if we don’t talk about this,we still will have same issues. Bitchslap me if you think its needed. 😉

            Your thoughts?

            1. Hi,

              People that worry about following the free plan for 12 months are desperate, clingy, and needy, and they’re definitely not secure about their ex’s feelings for them if they think their ex will forget about them and move on after only 12 months.

              Maybe a lot of your problems in the past relationship were based upon this lack of security in the relationship, and your need for your ex above all else.

              Let’s find out, and stick to the plan for 12 months.

              You can’t lose.

              If your ex moves on she was never really there for you, and now you know, and you can move on yourself.

              Chances are you will slowly realize her lack of commitment as time passes, and you will let go of the old relationship, anyways…if she really has no commitment to you or the relationship.

              If she evolves past the break up she will be much more willing to sit down and hash out your relationship conflicts.

              This whole personal evolution takes time, a lot more time than 30 days, or a couple months.

              Give it plenty of time, commit yourself to 12 months.

              In the meantime, get out there and live life, and be grateful for all the good things you have, and stop worrying about what you don’t have.

              Take Care,

              S.W.

  5. Also, months ago I already sent the letter, very similar to the first one, he asked that I not email, post or contact him.

    sending another after working so hard just to get a hello out of him may destroy what I’ve worked on to keep some form of friendship, not close. BTW I am very close to his grandchildren 6 and 8 and his two daughters, whom I’m allowed to see…but no one else, not his sister’s etc.

    1. Hi,

      You still need to send the recommended NC message, as outlined in the free plan.

      The plan works the best when you follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  6. Hi, my ex who lives in Ireland said for 6 months he wasn’t happy, broke up with my right after Christmas the same day I got his present. I continued begging, pleading eerything i wasn’t suppose to do. Then mid march he announced he met someone and straight into a relationship, the day I was suppose to arrive. He wouldn’t look me in the face, I’ve been very nice as I dont like fighting, never have. I was with him for 7 yrs and in September was to move there permanently, my daughter is going to college there. This girlfriend..rebound? lives in Kerry, we are in Cork, thats almost 4 hrs away. He will never move, nor she as she’s a teacher and work is scarce/family there….his family Cork. I have an apartment right around the corner from him. When he emailed me as I was trying to be friends, he said he wishes all the goodness that came into his life to come into mine. He also said, your either in Love or Not, no gray area’s. He sounds like he’s in the honey moon stage and I’ve been told, you can’t break that. He’s my one True Love, My Soul Mate, his relationship with her is via internet.

    1. Hi,

      People change, and so do their feelings, and there is really nothing you can do about it.

      But, you can do something about how you feel right, you can evolve past this break up, and get your life back again.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  7. Hi Scott,
    I’m trying to figure which NC letter to send to my (girlfriend?) of 16 months. I moved out 2 months ago, but we kept talking but I kept my distance since I was hurt and cautious. So, our last call the other night was showing me she was confused and needed space (but she did not actually say it…I’m ahead of the curve, I hope).

    Anyway – 2 days since we spoke. Who broke it off? I think this one is the right one:

    Hi,
    We need to take a break. I really believe it is the best thing for both of us right now. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.

    Is that correct?
    Thanks!

    1. Hi,

      Don’t kid yourself.

      When you moved out, you broke up.

      Actions speak louder than words.

      Just because someone doesn’t have the courage to say the words, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

      I recommend you use the NC message that says “break up” in it, for the best results.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  8. This is the 2nd time he broke up with me. The first time was after 2 years into the relationship, he wanted to patch back after 2 months, then after we patched back and less than a year later, he wanted to break again. I want to get my life back. Its been 5 months into this 2nd break up already.

  9. Hi,

    I just found out about your plan now after 4 months of the break up.
    Initially we had to have contact a lot as we had to move out of each others place and shared a lot of things. Then after all was sorted i told him i need to stay away from him for a while (although we have common friends). Then we reached the point where we became friends again (i said i was ready to just be friends)… so i went over to his new place to see it and just to catch up. We didnt discuss about the past, just about work and what have we been up to and what we like.

    We’ve been in contact quite a lot through messages since his family was here visiting and wanted to see me as well. Then bumped into him in a club but was just polite and said hello to him and his rother visiting then turned arounf and enjoyed time with my friends.

    On the 1st of april i fooled him… Sent him a message that i feel sick and so on.. making him believe that i might be pregnant.. and he asked if that is even a possibility… any way in the end i told him it was an Aprils fool joke. Then yesterday he sent me a text saying hes going to Las vegas with his best friends… and i wished him a nice trip and asked when he was back…

    So after all this story i guess i cannot use the NC plan? Or can i? How???

    Thanks

    1. Ana said:

      So after all this story i guess i cannot use the NC plan? Or can i? How???

      Hi,

      It is never too late to use the no contact rule ‘correctly’.

      You have tried staying in the ‘just friends zone’, and it is obviously not working very well or you wouldn’t be here asking for my advice, right?

      So, before you start telling me how stupid you will feel sending the recommended no contact message to your ex boyfriend at this point in time, remember how it feels to be stuck where you are now, in the just friends zone ‘spinning your wheels’.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  10. thanks alot for the reply.

    before NC she used to call me to ask some questions about her studies or our work. When my handphone was ringing she seemed to be jealous and asked my who was calling. Is that a sign she still loves me despite she says she has no feeling?

    I venture to ask you sth may be its out of my anxiety and terrible mood from the break up. You have a part in your blog about successful stories but I really like to know if there have been any failure?

    thanks

    1. Jack_56 said:

      You have a part in your blog about successful stories but I really like to know if there have been any failure?

      Hi,

      Of course, people fail all the time, why?

      They do not stick to the plan long enough, get too anxious, give up, and put themselves right back where they started.

      Everyone has a 50/50 chance of getting their ex back, but I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s.

      The people who focus on using the no contact rule to get their lives back, never fail, they either get their ex back, or they get someone even better than their ex.

      The bottom-line…they are very happy (ex back, or not), and that is all that matters.

      Anyone who doesn’t realize that (happiness is all that matters) is fully obsessed with getting their ex back, and they will most definitely fail…why?

      Love and obsession are two different animals.

      One is a natural part of life (love), and the other is a mental illness (obsession).

      The whole idea behind getting your life back is to evolve past the break up, and the obsession to get your ex back.

      If a person will not allow their self to do both of these things, they will not succeed.

      They will make themselves miserable, and no one will want to be in a relationship with them, even their friends will not even want to be around them.

      They will have built a prison for themselves, one paranoid brick at a time.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  11. Hi,
    I am on the fourth day of my NC. What if I send her a work report? I read your NC rule for work partners but I fear she suppose I used it as an excuse to text her.

    Can I send our weekly work report?

    1. Hi,

      Is the work report necessary for your “work relationship”?

      If so, you need to send it.

      If you read the article about how to handle the no contact rule with a work partner it explains that you need to keep all your communication strictly about work, and nothing else.

      With that said, how could sending your ex a “work” report be considered breaking NC?

      There is nothing personal about it, you don’t discuss your breakup, personal life, or NC…it is all about work, therefore it is okay to send.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

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