How to Get My Ex Back – Good Bonds vs Bad Bonds
It seems the biggest obstacle in learning “how to get my ex back” is knowing the difference between a good bond with your ex, and a bad bond with your ex boyfriend/girlfriend. If you have a moment I would like to explain what I mean…OK? Hopefully this will open your eyes, and you can start to move forward and win your ex back again.
Get My Ex Back – Bad Bonds
While every one thinks it’s a great idea to stay friends with their ex in hopes of winning them back, it really isn’t. Why? Because this is creating a bad bond between you and your old relationship with them. If you’re really serious about “getting my ex back” this is the last thing you want. Your old relationship is where the big fight, or mistake happened. Let’s bury that using no contact, learn from your mistakes, and come back healed, and ready for a fresh start with your ex.
How to Get Back an Ex
I know that you’ve heard, and read horror stories about using no contact, but it works, and I can prove it if you want to contact me. Instead of worrying about your ex moving on and forgetting you, you should think about this bad bond you’re protecting so much…how good is it really? They keep you on a leash while you settle for “little crumbs” of attention from them, as they go on with their lives…is this what you want? You can “get my ex back” if you’re willing to do what it takes, and that means following a good plan, and sticking with it…OK?
Win Back Your Ex – Good Bonds
Here is the kind of bond you really want, you just don’t know it yet, but with some help you’ll begin to see. The old saying you have to let something go to see if you really ever had it, is completely true. If you want to get your ex back, this is what you’re going to have to do. The best way I know of doing this is using no contact with personal support. Let me say that again, using no contact with personal support. That is the missing piece of the puzzle in just about every plan out there…personal support. You need to break the old bad bond in order to create the new good bond.
Getting Back Ex
Listen, you can be friends with your ex, I am with mine, but it is usually after you both move on from the old relationship first, not right after the break up. It just doesn’t work trying to be friends after a break up because each person is trying to move on while holding on to each other with casual chit chat…how does that work exactly? It doesn’t and that’s why you are in a lot of pain, right? Plus, lets face it, you don’t really want to be friends. You are holding on hoping to get your ex back, right?
How to Win Your Ex Back
No contact is very hard to handle alone. Many people fail because they get depressed and quit no contact and start using the same old tactics that failed before. If you have any comments, or questions please write them in the comment box below, and I will answer them ASAP! How can I help you get your ex back? What are you willingly to do to “get my ex back?”
Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?
My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people for more than 3 years to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.
If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free plan to get your ex back fast, and start getting your life back today. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.
Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.
If this article was useful or helpful to you in anyway, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.
Until next time,
S. Williams
http://www.howtogetyourexbackfast.com
Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.
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I have followed the no contact for over a month and we broke up 6 weeks ago; my ex boyfriend broke up because of my neediness and I have since gone into counseling and am doing really well with conquering my own self assurance issues. I read the magic of make up and following ghe plan but still have had no real connection to getting him back. He is suppose to be giving me some stuff back soon but that doesn’t make me feel any closer to seeing us together. How and what should I do to win him back?? I am now starting to doubt if he still thinks of me or even cares. With the more distance and no contact can’t he begin to move on faster? Before he broke up he did say he loved me but there were things he didn’t love about me but I am now working on those issues so if we did get back he would see a huge difference! Please help me to do the right thing and get him back; I miss him so much!!!
Hi Lisa,
You have gone 30 days without contacting him in anyway?
Has he tried to contact you at all?
If so, what did you do?
Do not try to read too much into him giving you your stuff back, that doesn’t mean he is done with you.
You’re getting counseling…very good Grasshopper!
Emotional control is the “key” to victory, but you are running a little astray with all your worrying about him moving on.
You see Lisa he has to move on…
Move on from the old failed relationship, and that is what no contact does best.
A person can not just erase their love for you that easily, as hard as it is for you to accept this break up, it is equally as hard for the other person as well.
Don’t kid yourself…it is!
Now, what should you do?
Hmmm…
You have a great plan in the Magic of making up, I suggest you keep following it.
If you have truly been faithful with no contact, and you’re feeling emotionally ready to accept a “no” the first time you try to set up a meeting with him, then I say go ahead and start using chapter 6.
You have to have faith in the yourself, and the plan to be successful, and get your ex boyfriend back.
One more time…focus on emotional control, and stop wondering if you will fail.
You can never win, if you’re afraid to lose…understand?
If you have any more questions, feel free to come back and ask me anytime.
Take Care,
S. Williams
When going into No Contact, should I blocked her from things like MSN messenger? or should I leave it open to her?
Hi Steve,
That would probably be the a good idea, you can always unblock her later when you’re done using no contact.
Take Care,
S. Williams
Hi Scott,
Thanks for your response to my question. The information is very informative and may be helpful. Yes, we have communicated within the 30 day no contact only because of some stuff that was going to be given back to me. It was under my request to have him give it back but I don’t really care about the stuff I just used that excuse so that I could still have a connection and be able to see him at least for one more time. So he has only contacted me after I left him a message regarding if we could meet to get my stuff back. He responded by only wanting to meet for 5 minutes pretty much to just give me the stuff and leave. I was trying to see if we could possibly meet for a drink or dinner something along those lines so that we get a chance to discuss things as adults and perhaps have some closure but he doesn’t want to meet other than to just give me the stuff. I am now at a loss as to how to connect on a more personal level because once the stuff is given back there will be no more excuse for me to contact him. It would literally have to be him rethinking his decision and I don’t see how that is going to happen if we keep having distance and no contact. So this is where I need your help! I am reading the magic of making up and everything makes sense but it doesn’t seem like I can use anything in my favor for my situation. Any suggestions would be appreciated greatly. I miss him and I know if we had another chance things would be so strong and better than before especially since I am working on improving the negative aspects of what we had. Please help!!!
Hi Lisa,
You just have to be patient, and let no contact do it’s job.
It may take another 30 days or so, but if he is going to miss you, and want you back in his life again, he has to come to that decision on his own.
If you chase him, he will only run away…understand.
No matter how panicked you are feeling, stick with no contact…he needs time to think.
You should be working on your emotional control in the meantime.
I would suggest that after at least 30 straight days without any kind of contact, that you refer to chapter 6 and plan a get together…if he refuses just wait another two weeks and try him again.
If he contacts you first (after you initially asked him to meet for coffee) let him leave you a message…you don’t want to seem desperate.
He will then get the idea you’re not just going to be hanging around waiting for him anymore.
You can’t make him come back, but you can draw out his true feelings for you.
After all if he really doesn’t love you, do you still want him back?
I don’t think so, so let’s find out how he truly feels about you…OK?
Take Care,
S. Williams
This is good information. My ex says it’s over in anger all the time. He still asks very jealous when we have spoke. I am doing no contact. I still have all my stuff at his house, so we do have to speak on occasion.
Hi Jackie,
I am glad you’re finding the information here on my Blog useful.
Make sure to visit “Start Here First” and follow all the instructions…OK?
Take Care,
S. Williams
I read the book and have been following the steps. I left him a letter agreeing with the breakup, no contact or limited contact. He attempts to check up on me and leaves jealous voice mails. Now I guess I try to move on and see what comes of it. I know he still cares, but is that enough to bring him back? I guess time will tell. He goes out 4 or 5 nights a week. That makes me a tad nervous. Tic toc. Thanks for your reply.
Hi Jackie,
If you have the book “The Magic Of Making Up” you shouldn’t have to “guess” about anything, just follow the step by step plan, and do all the exercises.
Do Not over think the plan, even though it might seem so simple that it couldn’t possibly work, it does.
Just erase everything else about your old relationship from your mind, and start from the beginning of the book again.
Sometimes it takes a few readings to catch on and see the “whole” picture.
Take Care,
S. Williams
Thanks…I will do just that. I/we need the time away. To erase that last ugly memory from both our minds. thanks
“A person can not just erase their love for you that easily, as hard as it is for you to accept this break up, it is equally as hard for the other person as well.” Scott, you are so right.
But, I mean that makes sense in theory. People can grow in ways that never come back to the other person as well, so, what happens if it all works out that way? And please dont tell me that its supposed towork out however destiny meant for it to be…..that is bullcrap, is it not?????
losangels wrote:
Destiny is not Bullshit, but you can change your own destiny everyday.
Ask Scarlett she changed hers when other women would’ve divorced him…it wasn’t easy but she did it.
Life is what you make of it…right?
Hey
And my girlfriend broke up a few weeks ago and I still want to be with her really bad. She told me still loves me and still cares for me but she doesn’t want to be with me I think she’s just not ready. I’m thinking of doing no contact but I know she will try to contact me. Do I text back or answer her calls? Oh and I’m very nervous about doing this because she already told me she likes my ex friend. They see each other probably every day… we don’t go to the same school anymore. And we do still talk and get into fights when we do. Please help what do I do!
todd wrote:
Hi Todd,
You came to the right place.
I have a step by step plan to get your ex back, and guess what?
It’s Free!
No reason that you can’t start using it today to help yourself, right?
Go to the top of my Blog and look for the link, OK?
Take Care,
S. Williams
how long should the no contact be? what happens if he doesnt contact me bk?i just sent him my nc.. im hurting badly.. i block him on msn.delete him from my facebook.. im sked..
@ Leen:
I answered your earlier comment/question.
i have been using the NC for a week already, he did not respond to the NC message i sent him and has not even tried to contact me yet, my mom tells me he does not care and is moving on and it worries me.
The reason we broke up or whatever is we broke up cause he cheated on me, i forgave him then we started working things out well 2 weeks after we were working things out his friend stopped by my house to see how i was well my ex called him not realizing he was at my house telling him how he planned on getting laid that night, his friend told me and i flipped out and asked him about it, and was like by the way your friend is over here he hung up on me and was like were not getting back together ? I am lost, I mean what if my mom is right i dont know ?
Hi,
Don’t worry about what your mom thinks.
As far as his friend…how do you know you can trust him?
Maybe he is looking to get laid too, and by getting you pissed at your ex he is creating an opportunity for himself.
You fucking his friend to get back at him…works out good for his “friend” don’t you think?
Follow the free plan, and use the support tools to help you get through all this.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
ya i see wat u are saying
i am trying it is hard a 2 1/2 year relationship, and we do though need are space, hetold me he will always love me but does not love me like he did i do not know if that is a bad sign or not
oh and by the way i resent the NC message. and he write bakc why are u sending this now and i did not respond
sam wrote:
Great Job Sam! (Thumbs High)
Don’t worry about his response….now go and follow the rest of the steps on the free plan.
The link is at the top of my Blog.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
this no contact thing is driving me nuts at this time of the year, he rang me on a private number that i did not know and i answered and he was at a party and put girls on the phone so i hung up then he texted and said “what do you want!!do what you want!!im over the games if winning is what u want you won WHATEVER…..please move on, im stoaked that other guys are chasing you” out of the blue this is so random i think its because he read my facebook page and saw that guys were interested. it drives me nuts I WANT HIM BACK NOW! he is sooo stubborn and i have a feeling he wont ring me thats how stubborn he is it worrys me, i am following no contact but worried
maggie wrote:
Hi Maggie,
Worried he won’t ring, huh?
Then why is he going out of his way (using a private number) to contact you?
NC is working just hold your ground.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
hey,
I’m kinda new to this….to make a long story short, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year and 6 months of being together…Unfortunately, I have been making the mistake of chasing her for the past 7 months…She says that she still loves me and wants to be with me even though she’s dating other guys. The funny thing is that she always wants to see me and spend time with me but doesnt want to start a new relationship and begs me to stay in her life when I try no contact…When we’re together u couldn’t tell if we were together or not but when we’re apart, its like we’re just friends with benefits. What should I do? Should continue to see her or start no contact and dont look back?…I know she wants me back, just not a relationship…should I stick around and be there for her or start NC? Please help! I don’t want to make the mistake of pushing her away……
Hi,
Your ex girlfriend is playing you, she is having her cake and eating it too…are you?
The free plan is about getting your life back, and breaking the leash your ex has on you.
If all you are worried about is getting your ex back you will be trapped in the friend with benefits zone forever.
Do you want her depicting your life for you?
That’s fucking ridiculous, there are way too many women in the world to let one take advantage of you, right?
Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.
Take Care,
S.W.
thanks so much for answering
One more question….we’re in college, her school is about 2 hrs away from mine and we’ere from the same hometown. During the thanksgiving and winter breaks she said she wants to stay with me and spend as much time together as possible. I already told her that she could…besides i figure that its beter that she spends time with me than the guy sje’s dating..My question is by keeping her from the other guy, am i helping the situation or just making it worse..Should I spend that time with her to show her what she’s missing then start NC or tell her that I can no longer see her for the holodays and start NC..If she doesnt spen that time with me, she will most likely spend it with someone else….Yesterday used to be our annivesary…Just last night she tOld me happy anniversary, this completly through me off…I’m going up to her school to see her this weekend. Later on today ro be exact..is this a good time to start NC or should I spend this time with her to get her accustomed to being with me again then abruptly start NC…..???
Hi,
You are fucking clueless, you know?
I just explained that the free plan is not about getting your ex back, and all your questions pertain to getting your ex back…I can’t help you.
Take Care,
S.W.
Well I guess I gotta do what I fotta do……I’ll give her the NC letter tomorrow when I see her…I somewhat understand what you’re saying…I must get my own life back before I attempt to bring someone else into it….The time is now to start…after I give her the letter tomorrow ill update the site,,,,thanks for the help, cant to become one of the sites success stories…
In addition to that, would it be wise to do what she’s doing…Keep her around and date other people as well?? Or completely cut her off for those 30 days…..Im just worried that if I cut her off now….it’ll just push her to someone else and all the quality time i’ve been longing for will also go to someone else…….Will dating other people while seeing her help me regain the upper hand? Or is NC the only way?
kevin, follow the free plan and NC rule!!! it workss!!! let her go out with as many guys she wants to! there’s an article saying that and S. Williams will not tolerate any more tries and giving chances to people on once your in your forum and speaking of your ex, wanting them back, etc. Keep it positive! don’t worry about the ex, it’s about YOU and only you! keep it that way, not any other way! need any help, there’s many many people that can help you on the forum, they, we are all going through the same thing!
So remember, it’s NC all the time unless you have to speak because of a project, work, or have a child. If she calls, don’t answer, if you answer not knowing it’s her, just be polite and cut the conversation short, and keep the NC rule! Let her date other people! If she really loves you, she won’t forget you right away and may do things to get you mad, thinking, etc. Don’t let it get it to you!
It is April 28th 2011 and I am not sure if you are still up and helping….
Right now my boyfriend and I are broken up. We have been going out for about a year and a half. We fight often but less than we use to, still often. I get “crazy” he gets quiet.
I have done pretty much everything in the book for him to not want to be with me but i have never cheated on him.
He is and has expressed his complete done with me. In many ways i understand. We are yin and yang, black and white. But I do love him much. I also understand that I need to change much about me for us to have a successful relationship.
Please tell me it is not too late. Right now he lives at my place with me. He is moving out in the next day or two. During the last couple days i have done much to push him farther away; cry, beg,scream, criticize, just everything. I realize that i should just shut up but I don’t.
He does not have a cell phone and he works where I do most of my grocery shopping. please help
Hi,
You can not stop your ex from leaving, and trying to do so will only make matters worse.
The best thing to do is to use the no contact rule to evolve past the breakup, and get your life back.
I help people get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriends back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.
Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.
Thank you for writing.
Take Care,
S.W.
Heya he dumped me’ at July while his cousin there giggling on the phone background. When he wasn’t with his cousin he’s all ‘i miss you l, we gotta meet up and chat’ then when he work
His cousin he’s all blunt and says don’t bother and rather still
Be mates but wouldn’t be happy me’ being with someone so I said look I’m gonna remove you for a while so I can get my head sorted and move on and removed him off facebook then he blocked me’ :S! And haven’t contacted me’ after! Haven’t contacted me’ nearly a month and I haven’t untaxed him as well! He’s very stubborn person! He’s a Leo! It his birthday soon 2 days after mine and I’m not to sure if I call him to say happy birthday? I do miss him and want him back.
Hi,
It doesn’t matter how much “you want him back”, if he “truly” doesn’t want you, right?
Plus, before you start chasing your ex boyfriend and kissing his ass to get him back, why don’t you make sure he is worth the effort?
I would completely ignore his birthday, and if he tells you happy birthday, just say “thanks”, and that’s it.
The no contact rule will help reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you.
I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.
Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.
Thank you for writing.
Take Care,
S.W.