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How Long to Get Over A Breakup?

picture of time passing
How long to get over a breakup?

That would be just as hard to answer as how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.


Because it will vary with each person, and each situation.

The tootsie pop does have a shortcut though.

You can just bite into it, and, hope you don’t crack a tooth.

But, is there a shortcut for getting over a relationship breakup?

Yes, there is.

I know a faster way to heal your broken heart, and, prepare yourself to get your ex back.



Why Do People Break Up?


One big reason would be they are not compatible.

If that is so, then why did they get along so well in the beginning?

That’s easy.

They didn’t know each other that well in the beginning of the relationship, and, it was mostly a physical attraction.

One of the fastest ways to mend a broken heart is to realize that sometimes people grow apart as they get to know each other, and it is no one’s fault.

There is always a certain amount of risk involved in relationships, and sometimes things do not work out.

How long to get over a breakup?

Well that depends on how long you refuse to let go of the old failed relationship.



Wouldn’t It Be Better To Stop The Breakup?


You know, in a simpler world you would think that two people who cared for each other could work things out, and find a solution other than breaking up.

But it is funny how quickly love can turn into anger (hate).

It seems that our passion can reverse itself in the complete opposite direction almost instantaneously.

That’s just the nature of our emotions.

With “both” of you in this very unbalanced emotional state, do you think it is wise to keep pressing to resolve the matter?

The answer is no.

This is where just about everyone screws up.

They panic and attempt to save the relationship on the spot.

Breaking up with your ex truly serves a purpose in the growth of your relationship, if you handle it correctly.

The trouble is, most people don’t look for help until they have really messed things up, and, said things they can not take back.

Now it is too late.

It’s too late to stop the breakup, but, it doesn’t mean that you and your ex are over for good, remember that.



Will 30 Days Of No Contact Be Enough To Get Over The Breakup?


Everyone knows of the no contact rule, and that “magical” 30 day miracle.

I have been working with people in broken relationships long enough to tell you straight away…30 days rarely (and I mean rarely) is ever enough time.

Don’t disillusion yourself with the rumor that 30 days of no contact will have you back in your ex boyfriend’s or ex girlfriend’s arms.

It probably won’t happen.

I say “probably” because anything is possible, but that doesn’t make it likely.



What Is The Best Way Of Moving On After A Breakup?


That depends on how long it takes for this information to sink into your skull.

In my experience people “say” they want to use the no contact rule correctly, and then all they do is worry about getting their ex back.

They lie to me, and themselves.

They refuse to let go of the past, and the old “failed” relationship because they are worried they will never get their ex back again.

How long does it take a person like this to get over a breakup?




Is There A Faster Way To Get Over A Breakup?


Yes, there is.

Don’t let this happen to you.

Start using the no contact rule correctly and focus on getting your life back, not your ex.

Become a breakup survivor.

You will never be ready for a “meaningful” relationship with anyone until you decide to move on from your broken relationship.

If you keep one foot in the past you can not move forward into the future, and you remain trapped in relationship limbo.

How long to get over a breakup when you’re in relationship limbo?

I think you know the answer to that…F-O-R-E-V-E-R



Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?


My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008, to overcome breakup pain, and, get their lives back.

I even have an “About” section, that I recommend you read.

I realize the address, of my site, is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but, I “really” teach people, how to get their lives back, not just their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me, (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter, for access to the free breakup survival plan, and, start getting your life back, today.

The answers you need, to start your personal evolution, are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come, and get them.

Once, you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise.

If you have any comments or questions, please write them, in the comment box, below.

If this article was useful, or helpful, to you in any way, please show your appreciation, by sharing with others, using the buttons, below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.


Add a Comment
  1. So I was talking to somebody for about 6 months very long distance.
    She was really into me,and vice versa.She would call me knowing the cost it was on her phone bill.
    When January came she told me she was seeing somebody else. No fighting,no sign.
    It blew my mind.
    I stopped messaging her completly, I told her I’d let her go.

    It was pretty rough for me for about a month,or so.
    She then messaged me about end of Feb,she said she was wrong,and she wanted me back.I figured the no contact worked.
    Follow that 2 to 3 weeks later.There was a lack of communincation,I knew something was up.
    She said that she knew since neither of us had the money to get each other that it was for the best.
    I tried to talk to here about this,and got somewhere,but to my shagrin, we had been playing a online game that I thought would be good for us.

    She said in the game’s chat. I’m so happy you’re still talking to me.
    I told her that I loved her and admired her.She didn’t respond back.
    I knew that wasn’t good,and that led into me blowing up into letting her know I’m not a door mat,and I’m not interested in just being friends.
    She never had the never had the nerve to discuss this over the phone,only in text.Very frustrating.
    I haven’t messaged her since,or vice versa.

    I see her on a friends Facebook who lives in the same city.She added me before she knew her,and i introduced her to my ex. She’s all over K’s Facebook.

    I love this chick,but It pisses me off how she handled this when we never fought,and she went and jumped ship for another.

    1. Hi,

      Usually people ask me questions, but, since you did not ask me a question, this time I am going to ask you a question.

      What have you learned from this experience?

      Give it some deep thought before answering, OK?

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,


  2. My ex-byfriend dumped me slightly more than 3 months ago. He’s my co-worker and I still get to see him 5 times a week.

    I have been employing NC all along and we have not talked to each other. Not even a ‘hi’.

    During the NC I have a better control of my emotions, go out and have fun with friends, as well as work on the things he expressed disapproving before.

    Should I break this NC now? If so, how?

    1. Hi,

      You are not ready to break NC…why?

      If you didn’t send the recommended NC message as outlined in the free plan you haven’t been using the no contact rule correctly.

      If you have just been giving your ex boyfriend the “silent treatment” waiting for him to break, you haven’t been using the no contact rule correctly.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,


      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

      1. thanks! but is it still meaningful to tell him not to contact me when he already hasnt done so for months?

        i m a bit confused.


        1. Hi,

          The concept of the no contact message doesn’t have you confused.

          What “really” has you confused, is that you realize what you have been doing isn’t working, but you’re afraid to send the NC message.

          Welcome to a place called in-between a rock and a hard place…how long will you be staying?

          You put yourself in this position, and only you can make the choice to get out.

          Send the recommended NC message and get the hell out from in-between a rock and a hard place, it sucks in there…take it from me.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,


          If you could take a moment and give me a positive rating on Google +1 I would appreciate…Thanks!

          1. Er…so I should just send him the NC letter, then start saying hi and casual things with him?

            1. Hi,

              Er…No contact, means no contact.

              What part of that confuses you?

              Thank you for writing.

              Take Care,


              1. So I should send him a NC letter now. Then carry on the silent treatment? I see him in the office everyday. So I shouldn’t take the initiative to talk to him right?

                1. Hi,

                  Sending the no contact message is NOT the “silent treatment”, your message explains your actions.

                  Attempting to use the no contact rule without sending the recommended NC message is the exact equivalent of the silent treatment.

                  This is all explained in the free plan, go read it.

                  Thank you for writing.

                  Take Care,


  3. Hey Scott.
    My story is a bit weird, and I would most likely have your opinion on this. 8 months ago (about april time) I was a wreck, and ended up here, being a random girl asking some question what to do, I remember I signed up, but never really got back because I was busy with my real life.
    Either way, me and the “ex” had a pretty tough break-up, and after I send the no-contact message, I was not a weakling (like many others) to cave in and write to him anyways. I never initiated contact once, while I was a wreck. However, 2-3 monthes later he contacted me, saying he had some of my old CD’s and DVD’s and asked if I wanted them back, and I responded to him with “sure” and thought of this as a “reconnecting”

    However, when we met up (this is the funny part) he wasn’t ready.
    I gave him his T-shirts, he gave me my CD’s and after some small talk (I was pretty happy back then, my life was colorful again.) he randomly said “Uhm, Johanna, this is too awkward. I have to go..” and boy I have NEVER seen a guy walk so fast, so quickly. I think, the reason he left, was because he started crying, because it seemed like he was about to do that, lol.

    Eitherway, it’s been 4-5 monthes from that point, and I even had something going with another guy (and then I really felt that I was over the ex-ex) however since I dumped the new guy, my thoughts have wondered back to the ex-ex.

    Unlike most guys people write about, he was very mature, and accepted my decision back then (more or less) and we haven’t talked since. He moved away to another town a bit far from me, so we would be a long distance relationship if we had stayed together, which we talked a lot about that we would be okay with. (We were together for 18 monthes, he is 19, I am 17)

    However, because it’s been so long since we last talked, I don’t know how I should start a conversation with him, without it being awkward. Also because we ended it in a very, very bad way. I’m not friends with him anymore on Facebook, so I guess it would be weird to write him that way. Also, I always remembered his phone-number because I used to call him up so many times when we were together..

    I just wonder, if it’s been 8 months without him ever contacting me, should I just let it go, because he obviously isn’t interested in my whereabouts? Or could he be thinking the same as me, and therefore not have contacted me? Do you have any advices on my situation? 🙂

    x Johanna

    1. Hi,

      I would just let it go, and keep on focusing on living your life.

      If he was all weepy when you last met he probably has some emotional issues to work out, leave him be, and let him sort his life out.

      People are changing and evolving all the time, sometimes couples grow apart, and sometimes they grow even closer together, but you can’t rush things.

      There is plenty of time to establish a brand new relationship if it was meant to be.

      Just keep on dating, one boyfriend in 8 months isn’t many for a teenaged girl.

      Get out there and live your life in a positive way, and you will attract everything you desire.

      You can’t control other people’s lives, but you sure can control your own.

      Stay Strong and Positive!


  4. I was dumped a little over a year ago, and sent the prescribed NC e-mail about 10 months ago. I have to see the ex periodically at social getherings, and we don’t talk there. Because we have so many mutual friends, and got along great when we were dating, I still think I’d like to reconnect at some point. But I can tell that even after a year, I’m still angry. I need a new job, and want to re-establish myself socially first. How bad would it be if I had to wait another 6 months to a year?

    And just so you know, my real focus here is to get my life back on track. Part of my discomfort in approaching him is that I’m just not very pleased with how life has turned out. I still have a lot of work to do on this, and was hoping another 6 months would get me to a place where I’d feel better abouT talking with him. Is that too long?

    1. Hi,

      That is not too long, you take as much time as you need to get your life back again.

      Focus on the being happy in the present, and the future will take care of itself.

      This is why I tell people to focus on getting their lives back, not their ex boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife.

      You have to be happy with yourself before you can start sharing your life in a meaningful way with someone else…make sense?

      There is more to the free plan to get your ex back than just sending the NC message, and waiting to evolve.

      It is a process, and the steps are all in the free plan.

      Make sure you follow ALL of them.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,


      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  5. Ok.. Thank you.. So if he contacts to me I have to nicely ignore it. OR send a message “Please do not contact¨”??
    I did the wrong follow up last time…

    1. Hi,

      The whole point of no contact is to not make contact with your ex or let him make contact with you.

      If he contacts you ignore it, unless it is about shared affairs which is explained inside the free plan, go read it, read the whole thing and follow every link and read that too.

      This is all explained in detail inside the free plan under the no contact rule links which explain just about every situation imaginable, and how to correctly handle them.

      And it is all for free!

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,


  6. First break up, we started seeing each other after 2 months. Now we broke up for the second time…. I sent him again the NC message. The second time can it take longer to get over the heartbreak for both?

    Normal humans, how long does it take to start thinking nostalgy??

    1. Hi,

      The whole point of the no contact rule (when used correctly) is to survive the break up and get your life back, not your ex boyfriend.

      You reconnected way too soon, that’s why you are broken up again.

      The highest success rate I’ve witnessed is from the group of people who used the no contact rule for 9-12 months.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,


      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

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