How Do I Get My Love Back?

If you have lost the love of your life, and you’re wondering ”how do I get my love back?” I can help you. Many people just fall to pieces, don’t make this mistake. There is a way to get your love back again, but you have to have a plan first.

The First Step

Before you fly off the handle begging and pleading…seek out advice first. Many people will make this mistake at the time of the break up, but if you stop, and regain control you will not mess up your chances. This temporary insanity will not hurt your chances, it is pretty normal so relax, OK? You somehow feel that a timer has started at the exact moment that your ex broke up with you, like your relationship has an expiration date…it doesn’t.

If you can master your emotions to the point of leaving your ex alone, you have made the first step to answering the question; “how do I get my love back?” I recommend that you find a plan that will help you follow the no contact rule. This works in so many ways to heal both you, and your ex, and to bring you both back together again in the future. Please believe me when I tell you there is hope. The feelings you are feeling right now are just panic, doubt, and fear…they will pass with some help.

Do Not Make This Mistake

Once you find a plan don’t start watching the calendar asking; “so when will I get my love back?” If you are only focused on getting your ex back as fast as possible…it will take a lot longer. You are probably saying “what do you mean? I wanted them back yesterday.” This is exactly what I mean. You’re impatience will distract you from your personal evolution, and this is a very important part of the process that will bring your love back again.

Time is not against you, it is on your side. This time alone will help your ex to miss you, and will give you time to explore what went wrong, and how to fix it when you get back together with your ex. Your mind is actually working against you because panic and fear are in the drivers seat. Don’t let this discourage you from following the no contact rule. The reason people fail to get their love back again, is because they give up hope. “How do I get my love back?” You find a good no contact plan, and you stick to it until you get your ex back.

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008 to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free plan to get your ex back fast, and start getting your life back today. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.

Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.

If this article was useful or helpful to you in anyway, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.

143 Comments

Add a Comment
  1. Hi,my girlfriend of two years broke up with me last week. she doesn’t want to talk about it,she says that she want to be friends, i am loosing my mind, of course i didn’t see this coming, and i was begging her not to leave. our relationship is kinda complicated in a sense. i have tried everything that i could possibly think of, to get her back. I dont know what else to do, i want her back

  2. S.W.,

    Thanks for the response though I don’t understand the “free plan” completely. When I asked a common friend about her a month ago I really had no idea what had become of her and other relationships. This person is very unique and very private including withdrawn from social interaction. To illicit a response from her side has always been an impossibility but I was always gentle with her the years we were freinds. She only has a small circle of family she is close to. I found out her parents had died and included sympathy in my letter.

    I was thinking about meeting the common friend for coffee and finally opening up to them about my history with my ex. ???????????????

    I was also thinking about sending her another note with a recent picture of me along with that book titled “My Boyfriends Back”( about 30 year old reunions with ex’s)??????????????????????

    How does that sound?

    As for the question of my friend I am with now, she knows I want to break out on my own soon as I have told her I need to be alone. It is just a matter of weeks.

    1. Hi,

      I gave you my advice.

      I help people get their lives back after a break up, not reunite after “30 years”.

      Take my advice or leave it, and just do what you feel is right.

      Good Luck!

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      1. S. W.

        Thanks for advice. I agree, NC is best!

        andrew

        1. You’re Welcome! 🙂

  3. Hi!

    I was in love with a woman(my first love) that changed my entire life for the better. We broke up when I moved because of work and tried again a few times the long distance route till she broke it off completely. I tried to reconnect but finally gave up and got married & raised two great kids and then got divorced. I am since living with a lady that really cares for me but a lot younger. I never wanted to find out what ever happened to my first love because of the pain & emotional stress it brought me.

    This past summer I was reconnecting with old friends I had not seen in years(avoided so not to hear about my first love I have come to realize now) and asked about her. Why I did this I don’t really know but can’t get her out of my mind now. She lives alone in another city but has ties with our common friend and is a success in her career.

    I wrote her a letter a few weeks ago my first to her in decades. I just told her I heard about her through our common friend and that she was a special person I had lost contact with. I left it at that.

    Any advice to try to contact her or more NC.

    Hi!

    I haven’t been sleeping much since a sent the letter to my ex and waiting for advice about step two in contact. By the way she never married and moved into her parents house I got from a mutual friend.

    I was thinking a gift on her upcoming birthday , say a book like the one in 2005 “My Boyfriends Back” – a collection of stories of long time relationships that got together…….I got the book on order?

    I was also thinking a picture of myself now?

    A phone call on her birthday?

    An written invitation to meet for coffee when I am in the area in a few weeks?

    An birthday card in a few months with a note that I will be in the area for a sporting event next spring?

    1. Hi,

      Since this break up was “decades” ago, following the free plan from the very beginning would seem like a weird idea, right?

      But is it any stranger than trying to re-ignite a long lost love affair?

      I don’t think so.

      What have you got to lose, nothing.

      All your other ideas (card, flowers, phone call, etc.) would be something she’d expect.

      Sending the recommended no contact message without any changes would definitely get her attention.

      I guarantee that.

      You had since married, and divorced, but now she is back on your mind, and you are reliving the break up all over again, so the free plan will work for you.

      Listen…

      If I had taken my idea for this website to a highly educated relationship therapist, they would have laughed at me.

      I created it anyways, and I have helped a lot of people, why?

      Because it works, and it will work for you too.

      I don’t give a fuck what people think, I try something, and if it works I keep on doing it.

      Since this is about evolving past a break up (no matter how long ago), it can not fail.

      The main focus here is to evolve past the broken heart she left you with when she stopped trying to make your relationship work.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex girlfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – I have to ask…does your current live-in “lady” know about your feelings for your lost love? You can’t expect good things to happen to you if you are doing bad things to other people.

  4. hi S.W.

    i have no where else to write this so thought id write it here. i was posting my nc diary and break up story yesterday and it was coming close to the 24 hour mark, i was at work so i couldnt post it until then. i had my break up story posted and was writing my nc diary when i got blocked even though i was still logged on and you said in one of your posts u wont block if the person is still logged on. could u please unblock me, i really want to join.

    all the best, username: berrybelly.

    1. Hi,

      I have to wonder, is it really wise to conduct personal business while you’re at work?

      You posted your break up story and then logged off, which is not what you agreed to do when you registered for our break up help forum.

      I only assist “serious” people, and serious people follow the rules.

      Once you have lost your posting privileges on the break up help forum they will not be restored.

      This is why I ask everyone to thoroughly “read and understand” the forum guidelines and TOS before registering.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      1. i meant i could not post my stories earlier because i was at work, i was not posting them while i was at work.

        my internet connection must have disconnected because i would not log off in the middle of writing my NC diary.

        its not fair to assume i am not serious, thats not your place to say. if i was not serious i would not have bothered posting these comments in the first place.

        i read and understood the guidelines that why i posted the first comment because i didnt understand why i had been blocked hence my internet connection must have went while i was logged on.

        i dont think its fair that now i cant join because of something out of my control but thanks anyway. The articles were very helpful and its supportive to read other peoples stories.

        1. Hi,

          I am glad you brought up the subject of “being fair”.

          I have been offering the free plan to get your ex back and break up help forum for over 2 years now, and I don’t find it “fair” that people ask for my advice/help/support, and then do not do what they agreed to do.

          However, it happens anyways…it happens A LOT.

          But I don’t let that stop me from doing what I set out to do.

          Life isn’t fair, it is what YOU make of it.

          Serious people have and still do, make good use of this free support system to get their lives back without ever posting on our forum.

          And yet, there are some people who spend endless hours posting on our forum and still do not succeed.

          The free plan to get your ex back, like life, is what “YOU” make of it.

          I don’t have the time or resources to investigate every claim of misfortune while using the system.

          I have to act quickly and effectively as I am only a one person operation.

          You can get your life back (and hopefully your ex) without ever posting on our breakup help forum if you use the free plan to get your ex back correctly.

          If you feel you have been treated unfairly, by all means please seek advice/support elsewhere.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

          1. Hi,

            I understand. I didnt mean my message in a bitchy way or anything and definitely didnt want to be a crybaby, i hate them!

            Anyway just wanted to say i am grateful for your free plan and website, i was feeling pretty lost before i found it. Im on day 3 of NC now and determined to get my life back 🙂

            Thanks for your time, All the best.

            1. Good Attitude…

              Now stick to the plan until you Kick Loves Ass!

  5. If the relationship I want to get back was a “rebound relationship” to help my ex get over his past girlfriend, do I still have a 50/50 shot of winning him back if I follow the plan?

    Thank you.

    1. Hi,

      You always have a 50/50 chance of getting your ex boyfriend back.

      But…

      You have a 100% of getting your life back if you follow the free plan to get your ex back.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  6. hey ,
    iam ajit paul , and m 19 , actully i dnt speak english all da time , so m little weak in dis , m girlfrnd leave me , cause of some reasons , dat i dnt speak to her to much , she is out of town thees days , and i think forever , , and now she ,s not replying me , , give me some tipss , plzzzz

    1. Hi,

      The best thing to do at this stage is not to chase her, and start using the no contact rule correctly.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex girlfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      The fastest way to get your ex girlfriend back, is to get your life back first.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  7. My ex broke up with me a month ago, and I havent started NCproperly yet.. But im about to. I saw him the other day, and he wore a shirt that I gave him.. I know he still isn’t over me even though he says so, so does it mean anything??? Or is it true that guys don’t put sentimental value into stuff and it’s only girls? Should I forget about stuff I left at his place while NC or ask them back before I NC?

    1. Hi,

      I recommend you get your stuff back before you start using the no contact rule, why?

      Because this will make a bold statement that you are NOT playing some game to get him back, which in turn will flip his emotional switch and make him think about what he “really” wants.

      Plus, it won’t be as awkward…make sense?

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Once you get your stuff back from your ex boyfriend, go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, and evolve past the breakup.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  8. hey,
    i’ve been following the free plan for quite some time now, and i think i messed up….after following no contact, i managed to get my ex and my life back. However, my impatience caused us to fall apart again. She says that she still loves me but is afraid of the same thing happening over and over again. As a result, i started the whole plan over again. After completing NC, we spent the whole weekend together. I dont know if this was such a good idea. We both agreed that it was one of the best weekeneds ever and she constantly told me how much she missed me and loves me. The problem is, we had sex over the weekend and shes dating other guys. She said that it made her feel like the only reason I came was to have sex. This is not the case and I miss her already. I feel like I rushed the rehealing process. I cant eat,sleep,focus, or stop thinking about her. What should i do? Should i start the free plan all over again or just be patient and continue to work on getting back together? She said that we should take things slow and see what happens but I’m not sure if I’m ready. I dont know what to do. I mentioned NC to her and she said that I was breaking her heart. what should i do? I dont want to push her away, when finally starts to come back.

    1. Jerry says:

      The problem is, we had sex over the weekend and shes dating other guys. She said that it made her feel like the only reason I came was to have sex. This is not the case and I miss her already. I feel like I rushed the rehealing process.

      Hi,

      If you were truly following the free plan, you would have known better than go away for a weekend during reconnection, that is known as premature reconciliation and it is discussed in video #4 in the Break up Help Videos section of my Blog.

      I suggest starting NC over and following ALL the steps in the free plan, and yes, that means re-sending the recommended NC message (no changes).

      Thanks for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      1. Okay, I gave her the NC letter not too long ago and immediately left. Since she has emailed me twice. The first said “what, are u leaving”. The second said “why”. I wont be able to order your book until later on this week so I’m a little lost. But,what does this mean? Should tell her why I gave her the letter? or should I just not respond?

        1. Jerry says:

          Should tell her why I gave her the letter? or should I just not respond?

          Hi,

          First of all, the letter (the recommended NC message) is self explanatory (if you didn’t alter it), so you do not need to explain yourself any further.

          Second, what does the phrase “No Contact” mean to you?

          If you are baffled, that means you did not read the free plan and follow all the (NC) links, and read the articles at the end of those links…why didn’t you?

          Your questions are all answered in the free plan.

          DO NOT attempt to join our forum unless you fully understand the free plan, you will only get banned.

          Thanks for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

          PS – I didn’t write the book, TW Jackson did, I created the free plan.

  9. Hi, tried the no contact but had to speak to my girlfriend to sort out details. She told me she was moving back in for financial reasons. Three days later she moved back in. It has been really tough on the first night she was upset. I tried to ignore her but couldnt. So I took her out and made her feel good. The past few days have been tough but she has been cold rather than upset. On sunday it was a bit to much. I didnt beg for her back but cried, asked questions and mentioned that I would like to start things again in the future. She said she had been having some doubts about the break up but that is what she wants. But it felt good to get it all out – bit to hard to keep it in when you see them everyday.

    I am moving out tomorrow and have told her that I want no contact and that I have let go. We are spending tomorrow together to say goodbye. What are my chances

    1. Hi,

      Since the free plan is only about getting your life back, your chances are real good, if you stick to the plan.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      If you use no contact (the free plan) correctly it will reveal your ex girlfriends true feelings for you, as well.

      But for now…focus only on getting your life back, not your ex girlfriend.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  10. Hi S.W.

    My ex broke up with me a few days ago. And since then, I tried initiating no-contact twice and failed. The first time I initiated it and said I was going to try to move on and be happy, I smsed her in a really happy tone, she smsed me back immediately, and said she was very heartbroken and shattered. This flipped an emotional switch in me and caused me to reply back saying I love her and promised to wait for her and stuff. And she said she wanted me to wait a few months to get back her feelings back. She said she wanna celebrate my birthday (coming up in a month’s time) and go overseas with me this coming dec holidays. And when she said she felt really hurt when I said I will get my friends to celebrate my bday instead.

    I contacted her the next day and asked how she was. And this time round, we had a one hour chat on what had went wrong with the relationship and we both promised to change. After we hung out, she said initially that ok, we have one last chance, and then right afterwards she said sorry, she was confused and she only wanted to be best friends now. But after that she said a lot of unpleasant thing like “ok, I give you one last chance” (this denotes that she’s having the power), and a few things saying that the relationship breakdown is more my fault than hers, and I have to change and stop a few of my behaviour. But finally she smsed this “i like you but i don’t love you. sry” All these sms finally got me to snap someway in my inner circuits. I decided that the current her is not worth having anymore, and I did NC on her this morning when she asked whether she wanna meet today for a movie.

    I am still going to carry on NC. =)

    Am I doing things rite?
    James

    1. Hi,

      Are you following the free plan?

      If not, you are NOT using no contact correctly.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Then you will be doing things correctly, OK?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  11. What if I waited over 2 months to send the N.C. message? Is that too late? Do I stil have a chance?

    1. Hi,

      Since the free plan is all about getting your life back, 2 months is not too late.

      Go read the free plan, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  12. Update*** He called before I recieved a response. I was calm as I knew what he was going to say… He said, “It was working”. He thought it was going to but nothing. He said he was sorry for dragging me along. I said. I appreciate his apology and respect his decision. Then I said I had sent him an email I hope for him to read and said good-bye. The email was the NC. Did I do the right step? Also in 30 days do I still try to meet up as outlined in the book or do I wait longer?

    1. Correction : “HE SAID IT WASN”T WORKING”

    2. Joan says:

      Then I said I had sent him an email I hope for him to read and said good-bye. The email was the NC. Did I do the right step? Also in 30 days do I still try to meet up as outlined in the book or do I wait longer?

      Hi,

      I hope you sent the recommended no contact message without any changes, if not you need to send the correct one.

      Now just ignore ALL his attempts to contact you, no matter what he says, do not break no contact, understand?

      The NC message is only the first step, follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan.

      30 days is just a bench mark, I would wait at least 60-90 days that seems to be the most successful time range, but it could be longer, why?

      Because you “both” have to let go of the past “failed” relationship, and some people hold onto things longer than others do, any attempt to rush through no contact will result in failure.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      1. I followed your plan to T…. I think the longer you can wait and draw out no contact the better.

        My ex and I didnt have any real contact after i sent the no contact email for 29 days. and this was a total of 60- days AFTER our break up.

        (he went no contact on me first after breaking up)

        Well he kept a bunch of my things at his house.

        Finally, nearly 40 days after the NC letter I sent him and 71 days after breaking up he met up with me at a local mall very briefly to give me my coat, a pair boots and my favorite earrings.’

        The funny thing is is that we both knew I still had a lot of stuff at his house.
        But instead of just asking me to go there and clear it out, we met briefly at a neutral spot.

        Nothing really happened, very light conversation. I was friendly but not too fake.

        Anyway two weeks after that meeting he and I got together as friends for coffee.

        and a few days after that went to the movies..

        Now 5 months after our break up we are on a new phase in a new relationship.

        People… Draw out no contact, don’t rush things, send th eno contact and stick to it…. then take little actions to move things forward.

        1. Hi,

          Great Job!

          You found out that there is more to surviving a break up than just getting your ex back.

          You must evolve past the breakup, and get your life back

          Take things slowly and if they don’t work out, next time try focusing on attracting what you want in your life, as a feeling, not a person.

          What I mean to say is, focus on attracting the type of love you want, not the type of person you think could give you that love.

          I am willing to bet that when you attract that kind of love, that it will last a lifetime.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  13. I’m so lost. Long story short. My b.f and I were dating over a year and July he started acting withdrawn. I tried everything to make him excited.. then one evening he called me and said it was over. I cried and cried and begged. We agreed to meet up that weekend and talk. He said he didn’t know if he loved me anymore. I though everything was fixed when I left that weekend…boy was I wrong. For 2 months I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster. One min he is holding me and kissing me and the next saying, “I don’t know if there is anything”. Then we are back to kissing and I love yous…and then nothing. This weekend I called and called. Finally he called me back. At the end of the conversation. It was Take care Good-bye I’ll call you back later. 3 days go bye.. I called and he said we need to talk and he would call at 8. Now what do I do?????????????????

  14. Oh, i forgot to add that he wanted me to recover at my parents place because i had back surgery in january. And also i sent the card because i wanted him to know im there for him and i feel for what hes going through. So i dont know if thats the same as a average break or whatever.

  15. I hope you can help me. I am so confused about what we are but technically we are on break. I havent contacted him for a month. But there are some complications:He lost his father a few months ago(i thinks its terribly hard for him):(, and 90% of my things are still at his house, and i feel like im on a time crunch because he might he leaving in july/aug to afganistan. But since this month of no contact he hasnt contacted me and i understand he is probably going through lots of grieving and maybe isolation periods because of that, but if i get my own place within a couple weeks i would have to get my things and then that would be so hard and it would break the no contact rule. I dont know what to do. The only thing that i just recently did was send him a cheer up kinda card with some money in it for taking care of my bird overthere. But i didnt get mushy at all.

  16. pear wrote:

    I have since put this into boxes and a friend of his has picked these up and taken them to his place. I am not bringing this up in the NC message;

    If it was already taken care of, then you don’t need to mention anything about it in the NC message.

    Keep it unchanged for the best results.

  17. am literally typing the no contact message word for word now. quick question – we exchanged text re his stuff which wéas at me as he lived there. I have since put this into boxes and a friend of his has picked these up and taken them to his place. I am not bringing this up in the NC message; but given our last exchange I do not want him thinking the NC message is some way to threaten not to give back stuff or for him to contact me back! Thankyou

  18. pear wrote:

    if last contact was him telling you do not contact, i will not repond, you have to move on, does a nc message apply?

    Hi,

    Yes, it still applies.

    This plan (the free plan) never has, or will depend on what your ex says or does.

    Read the free plan, and follow ALL the steps, when you send the recommended NC message, send it without any changes.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  19. if last contact was him telling you do not contact, i will not repond, you have to move on, does a nc message apply? breakup happened a few months ago, but there was contact by phone, email, sms from both ends, met up once on his initiation, contact kept up till just a wk ago, when a text like this was received. it seems to shift point of contact on me, as if he was being harasssed!! when it was not like this. we also no longer friends on facebook, even though he hardly uses it!!

  20. hope wrote:

    WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING WITH MYSELF ND THE PLAN NOW ?

    Hi,

    Just read the last part of the free plan about reconnection, and if you need more input, you can read chapter 6 in the book The Magic of Making up.

    Remember, a plan only works of you follow it, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  21. S.DUBB WASSUP MAN , IM FEELING MYSELF SLIPPING JUST A LIL AFTER DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB. I’VE COMPLETED NC ALREADY , ME ND MY EX HAD OUR FIRST DATE ND IT WAS HARD TO GET HER COMFORTABLE BUT I ENDED UP HAVING HER LAUGHING ND IN COMFORT AGAIN. I KNOW I FUCKED UP THO BECAUSE A COUPLE DAYS AFTER OUR MEETING SHE TEXTS ME TO SAY HI ND WE’VE TEXTED A COUPLE TIMES DURING THE WEEK. I SEENT A VIDEO TODAY WHERE T.W JACKSON SAID TEXTING CAN BE A BIG ATTRACTION KILLER DURING THIS PERIOD , ND I’VE BEEN DOING IT SMH. I CALLED MY EX UP TODAY THO ( WE HUNG UP ON TUESDAY ) ND SUGGESTED WE HUNG OUT THE FOLLOWING TUESDAY ND SHE SAID SHE CANT BECAUSE SHE PLANS ON STUDYING THIS WEEK FOR A BIG TEST COMING UP. WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW , I KNOW I SHOULDN’T TEXT , WHAT ABOUT SPEAKING ON THE PHONE ? I DONT WANT TO FUCK THIS UP , IVE BEEN DOING SO GOOD. WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING WITH MYSELF ND THE PLAN NOW ?

What's on Your Mind?

How to Survive a Breakup © 2008 -
%d bloggers like this: