How Do I Get My Love Back?

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If you have lost the love of your life, and you’re wondering ”how do I get my love back?” I can help you. Many people just fall to pieces, don’t make this mistake. There is a way to get your love back again, but you have to have a plan first.

The First Step

Before you fly off the handle begging and pleading…seek out advice first. Many people will make this mistake at the time of the break up, but if you stop, and regain control you will not mess up your chances. This temporary insanity will not hurt your chances, it is pretty normal so relax, OK? You somehow feel that a timer has started at the exact moment that your ex broke up with you, like your relationship has an expiration date…it doesn’t.

If you can master your emotions to the point of leaving your ex alone, you have made the first step to answering the question; “how do I get my love back?” I recommend that you find a plan that will help you follow the no contact rule. This works in so many ways to heal both you, and your ex, and to bring you both back together again in the future. Please believe me when I tell you there is hope. The feelings you are feeling right now are just panic, doubt, and fear…they will pass with some help.

Do Not Make This Mistake

Once you find a plan don’t start watching the calendar asking; “so when will I get my love back?” If you are only focused on getting your ex back as fast as possible…it will take a lot longer. You are probably saying “what do you mean? I wanted them back yesterday.” This is exactly what I mean. You’re impatience will distract you from your personal evolution, and this is a very important part of the process that will bring your love back again.

Time is not against you, it is on your side. This time alone will help your ex to miss you, and will give you time to explore what went wrong, and how to fix it when you get back together with your ex. Your mind is actually working against you because panic and fear are in the drivers seat. Don’t let this discourage you from following the no contact rule. The reason people fail to get their love back again, is because they give up hope. “How do I get my love back?” You find a good no contact plan, and you stick to it until you get your ex back.

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008 to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free plan to get your ex back fast, and start getting your life back today. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.

Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.

If this article was useful or helpful to you in anyway, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.

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142 Responses to “How Do I Get My Love Back?”

  1. Kat says:

    Hi Scott, I have a baby with my ex and although this doesn’t change anything it does make it quite challenging. I feel pretty empowered even though I have made so many mistakes to push him further and further away from me. He even text me to say that “we no longer exist.” These words have echoed through me piercing my heart but I now no longer know whether I want to be back with such a cold hearted person who ran back to his ex wife after only three weeks of my asking him to leave our home. He told me at that time that he didn’t want to leave but I expected him to fight for me and instead he just ran right back into her arms. Why? She has a 9 year old son with him but she has two little girls a 2 year old and a 1 year old with another guy she met after they broke up. I saw him at the club he goes to twice and both times he was talking / holding hands with girls that were not the ex wife? What is going on? I don’t understand but I guess what I saw both times I didn’t like. I vowed I would never go back to that club. He didn’t even buy Christmas gifts for our baby so maybe I’m beginning to realize this guy was not who I thought he was during those three years.

  2. S. Williams says:

    Kat wrote:

    I saw him at the club he goes to twice and both times he was talking / holding hands with girls that were not the ex wife?

    Hi Kat,

    This guy sounds like an asshole to me, but it’s your life, and if you want him back I can help.

    I believe you’re already a member of our forum, so just follow the steps in the free plan, and get your life back first.

    Don’t worry about what your ex is doing…help yourself first.

    Take care of yourself so you can be a great mom to your child because it looks like your child is stuck with an asshole for a father.

    If he plays around that much just be thankful you didn’t catch a STD from him.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  3. JAP says:

    Hi, My 4months bf and I broke up 6 days ago. His main problem is MONEY. He said he loves. will miss me, don’t wanted to hurt me and even cried like a baby because of the break up… anyway he asked for time alone so we could think about if we really wanted to be together. For the 1st 2days I was confused because the reason to ended our relationship. 2 days later after the break up I went out with friends, got drunk and decided to drive by his place. I parked my car so I could cry but instead I ended up falling sleep and when I woke up I couldn’t turn the engine on that left me no other option that knocked on his door, nobody opened so I broke into the house, he wasn’t in his room so I called him from a phone I found in the leaving room. He helped me to get AAA and and even said he miss me BUT when I walked out of the house and closed the door his cousin woke up, and went directly to the kitchen to get a knife…I had to tell him that it was me, passed the cell to him so he could talk to my ex and after that I left the place. The day after that horrible night I called my ex to apologize and asked him to meet up, he declined my petition saying this: “I told you what I told you on Sunday. I’ll try to call you later. Sorry, I have to go”. I never acted like that in my life, the situation went out of hands. Since the last phone conversation when he promised to ‘try to call me later’ and never did It’s been 5 days; I haven’t call or txt neither update my facebook profile because I don’t want o make a fool of myself ever again and also I know he wants to be left alone. Do you think this is the right thing to do? What’s next? What else???:(((((((

  4. S. Williams says:

    JAP wrote:

    I know he wants to be left alone. Do you think this is the right thing to do? What’s next? What else???

    Hi,

    This is the perfect time to go read the free plan (link at the top), and send the recommended no contact message ASAP.

    Don’t worry about what has happened, focus on the present and the future…take action.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  5. Anna says:

    Im slowly losing steam. Everytime i start to refocus somethings happens. When i started my first NC i felt all the power shift to me, it was great but then i gave it back to him allowing him to come and get his stuff. Our friend called me to let me know he was dating and i felt failure, i had it wrote all over me. I sent the second one and it was not as empowering, it was as though i already knew he didnt care if i spoke to him. Then i started working on me again and reading my help books and started seeing things i needed to work on and then boom. I run into him at the store and he made a point of holding her hand the whole time. Then my friends had there birthday last night and told me he was invited so i spent the whole time getting ready worrying about what i was going to wear incase he was there. I went to phone my friend and out of habit i called him instead there numbers are similar. I said sorry for calling him and he said it was alright. I felt like a tool. but he just laughed it off. Then I called him mother today to get a reference of a guy out there and i talked to her for a bit. He took his new woman out there even though his mother told him not to and then i found out he was lying to his parents about her. I have no idea what to do he has just changed so much, his mom has even noticed it. Im lost, I can only help me but what is his deal. His new woman wasnt that nice to him when I ran into them. Must keep moving forward, but really if i re send this NC is it going to change anything or am i too far gone.

  6. S. Williams says:

    Anna wrote:

    Must keep moving forward, but really if i re send this NC is it going to change anything or am i too far gone.

    It is never too late in the game to win.

    Resend the recommended NC message, and kick start your personal evolution again.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  7. JAP says:

    Hi Scott…I sent the note 4days on saturday night before going out with friends. No reply from him as expected. As of my personnal progress I’m planning a trip to cancun on May (I need vacations), I’m hiking again and even went out on a date. Also, as I mentioned on my previous comment I’ve been keeping myself away from Facebook. No pics, no updates, no comments from friends, NOTHING! The main point is to give him ZERO info about my life/whereabouts. Now, he doesn’t uses his acct but to accept friend requests or chat a bit with people back in his country. Should I remove him from my friends list? I don’t want to act based on emotions neither look inmature by taking FB too seriously. Lookig forward to hearing from you soon.@ S. Williams:

  8. amy says:

    hi i was only going out with this guy for 4 months i think he really liked me. I had just lost a previous partner to meeting him i said and did all the wrong things and i pushed him away now i want him back. I havent seen him in the 8 months but i have had some contact with him through email. He has said things like he is kinda seeing someone but i know for sure that he isnt.I got intouch with him again at xmas time wishing him ahappy new year he replyed saying he spent it with his dad getting drunk and had suffered a hangover and was becoming misrable i got the impression he wasnt having a good time off it. he sais he was thinking about sending an email wishing me all the best but i beat him to it. I asked him if he would fix my computor he seamed really up for doing t for me but got an email saying things had come up and he wouldnt be able to fix it fir thr foreseeable future and that he was sorry. i sais i much prefered it when we were speaking to each other he said that he always thought we were friends but that was all and that he didnt think it would amount to anything else. thongs got a bit more ugly and it resulted in him telling me o f off and leave him alone.basically i think he is just pushing me away now i sent an email saying ok i will do exactly that but i just want you to know that what you sais has upset me and hurt me and that its a shame we cant be friends before i found your sight now i think i may have blown my chances of ever getting him back.

  9. S. Williams says:

    JAP wrote:

    Should I remove him from my friends list?

    That is your own personal choice, if it helps you to stick with your personal evolution then do it.

    You can always add him back later when you reconnect, right?

    Sounds like you’re doing everything you need to do to get yourself back.

    Remember, you have to get your life back before you can get your ex back.

    Keep following all the steps in the free plan, and use all the free support tools as well.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  10. S. Williams says:

    amy wrote:

    i think i may have blown my chances of ever getting him back.

    Hi,

    If you want to reveal your ex’s true feelings for you, follow the free plan at the top of my Blog.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  11. amy says:

    is there any point me sending the nc thing as i already said that i would leave him alone a couple of days ago.He might think ive totally lost it as im not sure who really ended it but im sure that he was looking for more this is whats driving me mad cause im not sure what my ex wanted from this or me.

  12. S. Williams says:

    amy wrote:

    is there any point me sending the nc thing as i already said that i would leave him alone a couple of days ago.He might think ive totally lost it as im not sure who really ended it

    There is a version for that exact situation…go read the free plan, and follow every link.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

    P.S. If you don’t feel the free plan is for you, keep on looking else where for the help you seek. I can’t help you.

  13. Renee says:

    Hi S.W.

    Trying to access the forum…what happened?

  14. S. Williams says:

    Renee wrote:

    Hi S.W.
    Trying to access the forum…what happened?

    Hi,

    The old forum is located here:

    http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com

    I am experimenting with new forum software because the old forum software is not being updated anymore.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  15. Sandy says:

    Hi Scott, Well my ex contacted me again for coffee and we ended up meeting this time – chatted for about an hour, and as we parted he said ‘see you soon’. That was a couple of days ago. I have no idea if he wants me back, and I’m unsure as what to do now. Do I wait until he asks me out again? Thanks.

  16. S. Williams says:

    Sandy wrote:

    Well my ex contacted me again for coffee and we ended up meeting this time – chatted for about an hour

    Hi Sandy,

    If you’re following the free plan on my Blog, you’re only supposed to meet for about 30 minutes.

    This leaves your ex wanting more, if you talked about your relationship at all, this will drive him away as well.

    Because he said “see you soon”, I would wait for him to contact you again.

    You should always be in control of the meetings, and keep them short and light, and away from the subject of the breakup, reconnecting, or yours/his personal life, understand?

    If you don’t understand read the free plan again, and read chapter 6 of the book MOMU.

    The reconnection phase is like meeting, and starting to date someone new, until you can relate to it in this way, you’re not ready to reconnect.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  17. amy says:

    hi sw, i wrote the nc word for word saying i didnt regret that i had broke up with him ect ect, that was on monday he replyed the day after saying that i think your a good person tracy and i wish you the v best for the future but we both need to move on as iam no good for u and that it would be best that i didnt contact him. I have kept to the nc and didnot reply back. so at that should i just leave it at that because i really do not know what to do now i wasnt expecting that response from him i feel i may have lost him.

  18. Sandy says:

    Hi Scott,

    Thanks. The conversation we had was great – light and upbeat. I totally forgot about the time. We didn’t once touch upon the break up or anything remotely unpleasant. Given this was the case, was hanging out for an hour still a wrong move?

  19. Sandy says:

    Oh, and I totally forgot to mention that he asked if he could borrow a book from me. Should I wait until he asks me again for it? I guess this is a good sign, since he wants to make contact again.

  20. S. Williams says:

    amy wrote:

    i wrote the nc word for word saying i didnt regret that i had broke up with him ect ect

    That is not the recommended NC message.

    It doesn’t say anything about not regretting anything, are you sure you sent the right message?

  21. S. Williams says:

    Sandy wrote:

    Oh, and I totally forgot to mention that he asked if he could borrow a book from me. Should I wait until he asks me again for it? I guess this is a good sign, since he wants to make contact again.

    It sounds like you are moving too fast, and getting put back into the friends zone…is that where you want to be?

    How long did you use no contact, did you follow the free plan, and send the recommended NC message?

  22. Annie2010 says:

    Help Scott! I feel sick and was up most of the night. I found out my ex is seeing another girl. I sent the nc message last Saturday and have heard absolutely nothing from him. Now I know why. The MOMU says not to panic but I can’t help it. I am in shock that he’s moved on so quickly especially after telling me how much he missed me a week after the break up. I feel all hope is gone now. Any suggestions?

  23. S. Williams says:

    Annie2010 wrote:

    I am in shock that he’s moved on so quickly especially after telling me how much he missed me a week after the break up.

    Just read what you wrote to me.

    No one can move on that fast…no one.

    He is just dating to get you to break NC, and it’s working…isn’t it?

    I have seen people get their ex back even after they had moved in with someone else…dating doesn’t mean shit.

    In fact it can help…how?

    When he sees that you aren’t going to run back to him, he will get worried.

    He will think his plan backfired, and he will start to think like you are right now…oh on she’s moving on!

    Plus he will see that this new girl is not like you, and he will miss you even more.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  24. 12 stars says:

    I messed up after I started NC. It was 5 days and I talked to him on the phone. I need to restart and get on with it. Do I need to send a new message or just start NC without a message?

  25. S. Williams says:

    12 stars wrote:

    I messed up after I started NC. It was 5 days and I talked to him on the phone. I need to restart and get on with it. Do I need to send a new message or just start NC without a message?

    No problem, it happens.

    For the best results, send another NC message, don’t change any words…he needs to know that you are serious about this.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  26. Annie2010 says:

    Ahhhh, wish I would of read that earlier today. Yes, I broke NC. I’m so mad at myself. But I had to text him after I found out who he went out with. Anyway, we got into a huge text fight and now I’m seriously considering whether I even want him back. A really nice guy I knew awhile ago asked me out and I’m going!!! Right now, I’m angry and my ex is a loser. I deserve so much better! I have to seriously think about things so I guess that means if I want him back then I have to resend the NC message. Thanks Scott! I’ll keep you posted.

  27. S. Williams says:

    Annie2010 wrote:

    Ahhhh, wish I would of read that earlier today.

    Well, that’s the whole idea of asking for advice, you wait to get it before taking any action.

    Annie2010 wrote:

    I guess that means if I want him back then I have to resend the NC message.

    The NC message and the free plan are about “you” not your ex.

    You are doing this for you, to get your life back…send the message again, and stick to the plan.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  28. Annie2010 says:

    Thank you. I don’t know if I want him back. I have so much anger towards him right now. I am going to work on myself first and then decide if he’s even worth it.

  29. Elizabeth says:

    Hi S.W.,

    Happy Valentine’s Day to you and yours.
    I’m having a moment right now. I’m thinking about my ex and the beautiful Valentine’s Day we had last year. I live in FL and he flew me to VA to be with him.
    I know part of my evolution is to not worry about what and why my ex is doing, but admittedly, I do. I think about the new woman in his life and how she is receiving all the love, affection, & gifts that I used to. I’m sure he sent her something for VDay.
    I took pictures of my VDay gifts from him last year and wanted to send them to him.do you think he’s remembering our time together last year as I am?
    I also think about how we maintained a LDR. It was hard, but he flew to FL almost monthly (his parents and family live in my same city). She lives in another city in FL, about 4 hours from me. Before our break up, he said they were just friends and that he wouldn’t visit her because he knew noone that lived in her city. My mind says, “if he can fly to me, then he will fly to her.”
    Tomorrow will be 6 wks since we’ve spoken. 3 wks of NC.
    He seems to be doing more evolving than me. I can’t even find a “quality” man to date. If I go on a date with a guy that’s unattractive, unkempt, etc., why bother? My dates see me as a “good catch”, but I’ve been on a date with 1 guy who hadn’t shaved or had a hair cut in months. Another who has 8 kids!!!!!
    Through all of this, I’m thankful I haven’t broken NC.
    I look forward to your advice and help. NO ONE understands the mechanics of loosing the one you love like you do.

  30. S. Williams says:

    Elizabeth wrote:

    I took pictures of my VDay gifts from him last year and wanted to send them to him.do you think he’s remembering our time together last year as I am?

    Hi Elizabeth,

    Happy V-Day!

    Don’t be stupid…do not contact your ex.

    The best V-Day present you could give yourself today is strength.

    Elizabeth wrote:

    He seems to be doing more evolving than me. I can’t even find a “quality” man to date. If I go on a date with a guy that’s unattractive, unkempt, etc., why bother? My dates see me as a “good catch”, but I’ve been on a date with 1 guy who hadn’t shaved or had a hair cut in months. Another who has 8 kids!!!!!

    You are focusing, and fantasizing about all the negative things.

    He’s doing great with his new girlfriend (you don’t know this for sure), you only date losers (lots more fish in the sea)…this is counter-productive bullshit.

    What you think about, you bring about.

    Think about finding a nice guy, and having fun.

    The more fun you have, the less you will think about your ex, the less you think about your ex, the more you evolve, the more you evolve, the closer you get to being happy again…with or without your ex.

    That is the key to success, not getting your ex back, getting your life back.

    That is exactly what will attract him back into your life.

    You CAN NOT depend on your ex for your happiness…it doesn’t work that way.

    You’re Doing Great Elizabeth! (Thumbs High) :-)

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  31. Elizabeth says:

    Mr. Williams,

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate you kicking me in my ass so I could get out of the pity party I was having for myself.
    I, indeed, gave myself the best gift ever–”strength!!”
    I spent V-Day with my family. We looked at old photos, had great food and laughed about old memories.
    My mantra is…what you think about, you bring about.
    I must admit, I didn’t know if you were gonna respond yesterday, due to it being Valentine’s Day, but I’m glad you did because your inspiration allowed me to forge ahead. Thanks again.

  32. S. Williams says:

    Elizabeth wrote:

    I must admit, I didn’t know if you were gonna respond yesterday, due to it being Valentine’s Day, but I’m glad you did because your inspiration allowed me to forge ahead. Thanks again.

    I am on duty 7 days a week…I need to get a life. ;)

    You’re welcome…glad I could help.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  33. JAP says:

    Hi Scott…Ok, I’m working 100% on my evolution. Last week I changed my look and I feel great about it. I bought myself a new phone, a new fragrance & new pair of sunglasses! I booked a dentist appt + a friend agreed to hike with me next sat morning – yuju!

    I have a question…why doesn’t he contact me? Not that I’m planning to break NC rule BUT the day we broke up he told me in tears: “I’m in love with you. In 3-6months from now is going to be harder for both of us” He even said it! “I love you” – I know I sent the NC message but seriously, I don’t think that’s the real reason why he’s keeping his distance. I read in the MOMU that indifference is the opposite of love…is that what’s going on here? Your opinion is well appreciated.
    @ S. Williams:

  34. S. Williams says:

    JAP wrote:

    I have a question…why doesn’t he contact me?

    Hi JAP,

    One reason might be because you asked him not to, another might be because he is not ready to talk to you.

    JAP wrote:

    I read in the MOMU that indifference is the opposite of love…is that what’s going on here?

    Everyone likes to jump on the indifference train.

    I believe your biggest problem is that you are not focusing on your own personal evolution, and you are still too wrapped up in what your ex is doing…who cares?

    Focus on yourself, it takes more that buying a few new things and getting a hair style…it takes time.

    If your ex really meant what he said, things will work out, but you can not predict when or where…just keep on evolving.

    The sooner you let go of the old failed relationship, the faster you will see results, and this just takes time…be patient.

    You’re doing great! (Thumbs High) :)

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  35. Annie2010 says:

    Hi Scott. Well, saw my ex at a party Saturday night and did not talk to him at all. I found out he’s been hanging out with a girl and she was with him at the party. I couldn’t believe it. My ex always told me that what he loved most about me is I have class and very strong morals. The girl he was with has absolutely no class and doesn’t know what the word moral means. Why would he go out with a girl that is totally opposite from me? He always told me how lucky he was to find a girl like me and now is with someone totally opposite from me. I don’t think he’ll be bringing her home to meet his family that’s for sure. I think he’s just using her to get back at me because I noticed when we were in the same room he was all over her but when I would leave the room he would walk away from her or push her away from him. I don’t get it? He broke up with me, why would he dangle his new girl in front of me like that? I need a male’s perspective on this. Thank you!!!!

  36. S. Williams says:

    Annie2010 wrote:

    I don’t get it? He broke up with me, why would he dangle his new girl in front of me like that? I need a male’s perspective on this.

    Hi Annie,

    I don’t think this only pertains to males, but he is trying to get you jealous so you will break NC.

    He doesn’t like the idea that you took control of the situation…just ignore him, and focus on your own personal evolution.

    There is nothing he can do to stop you.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  37. Annie2010 says:

    Thanks Scott! I am really focussing on myself. My heart has been aching since we broke up but something about seeing my ex with his new girl released something in me. My heart no longer hurts. I honestly don’t think I want him back. I have heard so many terrible things that he has been doing since we broke up. It’s almost like the guy I knew and loved has died, and he’s become a totally different person that I want nothing to do with. Thanks for all your help. Staying strong!

  38. Jonathan says:

    Hey scott, after many attempts, Of the NC I didnt send the message everytime. Some times i just stopped talking to her for a few days,
    And ill tell you about last week.. I didnt talk to her for 2 days, and one night i said Night nite, Her reply was. Wow you actually spoke to me… :l Night xx . Then we went out for valentines day just the other day.

    Since monday 15th Feb around 12pm, she told me that she didnt wanna talk to me 24/7, So i said I totally agree with you, its probably for the best have a good week. Then stopped texting her. That night at about 1030Pm she said, Good night xo.
    My response was night nite.

    Anyway Wednesday night 17th Feb, She texts me saying.
    I like you, But iv come to the realisation that we cant be friends, Better if we dont see each other or talk. You know why, Goodnight x.

    We did agree to try and be friends and see if we could rebuild things before i started NC with her Monday. Due to her saying she didnt wanna talk to me all the time.. Why did this backfire on me.

    Help from any one would be very appreciated thanks! Been broken up for 2 months now, On and off, with fights and make ups, I want her back, thats why this method i have attempted once again.

  39. S. Williams says:

    Jonathan wrote:

    Hey scott, after many attempts, Of the NC I didnt send the message everytime. Some times i just stopped talking to her for a few days,

    Hi Jonathan,

    Now that you’ve played around with NC…do you want to get serious, and see some great results?

    If you said “yes”, then go read the free plan (top of my Blog), and follow all the steps.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  40. Jonathan says:

    Hi their, yes im serious, So do i respond to the message, or just leave it, Is she being serious, or just trying to Bluff me?

  41. Jonathan says:

    DO you give personal help, Or just refer people to the Free plan?

  42. S. Williams says:

    Jonathan wrote:

    DO you give personal help, Or just refer people to the Free plan?

    I am one fucking person, there is NO possible way I can personally hold everyone’s hand and guide them.

    I created the free plan to do that automatically, and it’s free.

    Anything you want to know is in that plan (except for the stupid questions, I don’t answer them).

    Jonathan wrote:

    Is she being serious, or just trying to Bluff me?

    Like that stupid question..what am I a fucking psychic?

    If a FREE plan is not enough “personal help” for you, take your whiny, complaining ass somewhere else, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  43. jonathan says:

    wow you took the free plan, or personal help thing way outa hand, what I meant was. Was their anyway, I could contact you one on one, and seek advice. Like the ex2 system, has a personal advice line, but I preferred to come to you, because I know your a great guy. Well, this is awkward. Should have explained my self better.
    Take care.

  44. S. Williams says:

    jonathan wrote:

    Like the ex2 system, has a personal advice line

    Yeah for a “fee” probably.

    I won’t take advantage of people that way.

    Everything I have to say about getting your ex back is in that plan, or in my articles, and it is plastered all over our free forum.

    People who really want help, just go for it, and those are the ones who succeed.

    It’s there for the taking, but I am NOT going to serve it to you.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  45. Jonathan says:

    S. Williams wrote:

    jonathan wrote:
    People who really want help, just go for it, and those are the ones who succeed.

    Yeah nah i know what you mean aye scott, I mean i have purchased the Magic Of Making Up, The Ex2 System and other How To’s all giving the same advice..
    On the other end, you have the ones who say, Stay friends with you ex and try and rekindle what use had.

    But then that leaves you out of the personal evolution, and thats what this is all about, Its about being able to live life with or with out your ex.

    If you get them back thats a plus, But You dont want to get them back if you are still emotionally unstable. This will most likly damage the relationship.

    I found that the Ex2 System, Was alot easier to follow, Then TMOMU.. Also came with an audio that i just listen too,

    I just posted what i did earlier, because out of confusion, I thought i was healing, but then once i hear from her, i go back to where i began, so obviously im not ready.

    And her saying that we should not be friends.. I would usually start begging and pleading for her to be friends, as i was afraid to loose her.. But im following the plan, I need my life back, Thanks for this forum, As hard as it is now, i will follow it.
    Thanks, and take care scott.

  46. S. Williams says:

    Jonathan wrote:

    I mean i have purchased the Magic Of Making Up, The Ex2 System and other How To’s all giving the same advice..

    I created the free plan, and the system we use to try and fill in the missing pieces.

    All the books are pretty much the same, but you can pick up a nugget or two that is different from each one, so it’s not a total loss.

    Information is power, but this journey is just about impossible to do alone, and not everyone can afford $125 an hour for one-on-one counseling.

    I believe everyone deserves the help they need to get their life back, and you will find it here.

    I am NOT a relationship guru, I am an internet marketer who believes in great customer service…even if they are not my customers.

    I learned what I know by living life, and working to help people who asked for my support.

    This has been a personal evolution for me as well, I am right beside everyone else evolving too.

    Like everything in life, it starts off hard, the first step is the hardest, and most important.

    But after that…you”ll be kicking loves ass…I promise!

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  47. Jonathan says:

    Yes i do know that all the books are pretty much the same, I just got that desperate to find answers that i was taking things the wrong way, I mean she have pretty much forgiven me for everything, shes told me she will always forgive me, She said no matter what i do wrong, she always seems to forgive me.. But just because you forgive it takes time to forget..
    So in that time, ill follow the Ex2 System. ( Find it alot easier to follow)

    And ill use this website to seek extra feedback if needed.
    But you are a champ, and so many people will be happy at what your trying to accomplish here :)

    Thanks heaps for your time.

  48. S. Williams says:

    Jonathan wrote:

    So in that time, ill follow the Ex2 System.

    You can use whatever book you like, but in-order to use our forum you must send the recommended NC message in the free plan, that is what will really start your personal evolution.

    Every member has sent that message, and the ones who refuse will be removed, understand?

    This was clearly stated in the forum guidelines you were supposed to read before joining our forum.

    Hopefully I don’t have to block you, and I will if you don’t follow the forum guidelines.

  49. Jonathan says:

    No an issue, i responded on my Diary, But that was before you posted this ..
    Sorry about that. Ill do as follows. Please read it still if you wanan know what i said.

  50. Jonathan says:

    Abuse the shit out of me Please!
    Gf Sent me a message saying Hi. TOday ( around a week of Limited-No Contact)
    I still have not go my Phone charger Back. Hoping she will drop my item back if i reply?

  51. Jonathan says:

    My response was, Hi.
    Her response was, Sorry was just checking if my phone was working :)

    Wtf is that bullshit!

    :kickbutt: KICK LOVES ARSE!

    Did not reply – TO THAT BULLSHIT!

    6 Hours passed Did not talk to her, Following NC. She sends a message saying ‘ How Are You ? ‘
    No Response from me,
    Should i reach out, or just let them go? :!:

    :banghead:

  52. S. Williams says:

    Jonathan wrote:

    Should i reach out, or just let them go?

    Send the NC message again, word for word, and then ignore messages…go buy another fucking charger. 8)

    Next time don’t lend your stuff out, I don’t any more…tired of losing my stuff.

    You’re letting her make you her little bitch…did she send a dress to wear? :roll:

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  53. gemma says:

    my ex sent me a message today asking why i deleted him off facebook as its a way he can contact me to do with our son so i told him that i dont want him in my personal business as hes my ex not my friend and if he wants 2 see our son he can phone. he said he heard i had a new bloke and was asking how old he is as he doesnt want a silly little boy in our sons life, i said i wont bring silly ppl into his life, its my personal life so he sud butt out. i dont get why hes interfein coz he made it cleat he was happy how he is and didnt wanna b with me plus he said i was controlling him, ha was other way around

  54. S. Williams says:

    gemma wrote:

    its my personal life so he sud butt out.

    Exactly!

    It’s none of his fucking business. :cursing:

    Great Job Gemma! :thumbup:

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  55. Josh says:

    S. Williams, can you please help me? :( I don’t know how I can do your plan, because, my relationship with the one I love more than anything in the world ended with me doing all that stuff to try to get her back (all the stuff you said not to do), then she wouldn’t talk to me at all or respond to me or listen to me at all. I have no way to get in touch with her now and if I send her letters or anything she doesn’t read them, so there’s no way I can do ‘no contact’ because she’s already done it (and it’s been SIX YEARS). Please god I miss her so, so, so, so, so, so, so fucking much, you have no idea. I could never put it into words. Is there still a way you know I can get her back?

  56. Jonathan says:

    Hehe, No Unfortunatly I did not get a dress.. wtff. Doesnt even make sense.
    I did not reply, Turned my phone of because i wanted an early night :)
    Turned it on the smorning, And a message ready. Or not bahah whatever aye.. Im glad i didnt reply, If shes going to be a bitch about me not replying then wtf is she texting me for..
    I actually am feeling alot better these days. S.W, I mean i have my bad days. Where all i can do is think about her, But im actually trying to keep other girls in my life, and text then and hang out with them instead. And im following The Fractions Formular By Derek Rake, Seduce out of your league.
    Good stuff, I think ill keep it up. And i will forward the NC message again. THanks :)
    Ps im no longer the bitch.
    He who cares least controles the relationship.
    :party:

    Stay strong! :rambo:
    J.E

  57. S. Williams says:

    Josh wrote:

    there’s no way I can do ‘no contact’ because she’s already done it (and it’s been SIX YEARS).

    Hi Josh,

    If it has been 6 years since you broke up, or spoke with your ex, I would highly suggest you seek counseling to help you move on.

    Maybe once you move on with your life a chance will present itself for you to reconnect with your ex again in a new relationship.

    Good Luck!

    S.W.

  58. amy says:

    hi sw, if thats not the recommended nc letter then what is? im i too late now because he also said that my emails were freaking him out and that he was gonna block my emails.I feel such a fool how can i possibly turn it around after sending the nc message saying that i didnt regret breaking up with him and that i had big decsions to make in my life and not to contact me that i would be in touch when i was ready. Is that any wonder that he has wrote me an email back like that. I really dont know what to do now please help me i have made an even bigger mess of things.

  59. S. Williams says:

    amy wrote:

    hi sw, if thats not the recommended nc letter then what is?

    Hi,

    This is all explained in detail in the free plan, look for link on my Blog.

    Don’t worry about anything, just follow all the steps in the free plan, and send the recommended NC message (word for word)…no changes.

    That is all there is to it, if you can not calm down and follow a simple plan, I can not help you.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  60. Josh says:

    S. Williams wrote:

    Josh wrote:
    there’s no way I can do ‘no contact’ because she’s already done it (and it’s been SIX YEARS).
    Hi Josh,
    If it has been 6 years since you broke up, or spoke with your ex, I would highly suggest you seek counseling to help you move on.
    Maybe once you move on with your life a chance will present itself for you to reconnect with your ex again in a new relationship.
    Good Luck!
    S.W.

    So are you saying you can’t help me then, I should look for help elsewhere? This site makes it sound like you can use this plan to get back your ex, the person you love more than anything in the world, no matter how much time has passed. I don’t want counseling to get over her, I have talked to therapists and decided with them as well as myself that what I need is to have her back in my life again somehow. You can’t help with that, it’s been too long?

  61. S. Williams says:

    Josh wrote:

    You can’t help with that, it’s been too long?

    Pull your head out of your ass for a minute and listen…

    You said yourself “you can not use NC” go read your own fucking comment if you don’t believe me, OK?

    I help people use NC by following the free plan, you say you can’t use it, not me…you said that.

    Maybe there is another site that can help you, I work with NC here.

    I think if you stopped feeling sorry for yourself and did some reading on my Blog, you would be able to help yourself…many people have.

    Josh wrote:

    I have talked to therapists and decided with them as well as myself that what I need is to have her back in my life again somehow.

    Here’s some free advice (I won’t charge $150 an hour like therapists do)…

    1. You can’t make someone fall in love with you.

    2. You can’t make someone come back if they do not want to.

    I offer a free plan, you are more than welcome to follow it, and help yourself.

    If that is not what you’re looking for…keep on looking, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  62. Josh says:

    S.W., I didn’t say I would not or could not do no contact, I am asking, is there any way for me to do it given my situation?

  63. S. Williams says:

    Josh wrote:

    S.W., I didn’t say I would not or could not do no contact, I am asking, is there any way for me to do it given my situation?

    Now you’re lying…and I quote:

    Josh wrote:

    so there’s no way I can do ‘no contact’ because she’s already done it (and it’s been SIX YEARS).

    Ring any bells?

    That is a direct quote from one of your comments…you calling me a liar? 8)

    Click on your name just above that quote, it will bring you directly to your comment.

    I can’t stand fucking liars. :twisted:

  64. Josh says:

    Ugghh…alright fine, then I said it, but I didn’t recall saying it. I’m not calling you a liar I just didn’t pay that much attention to what I was saying. What I MEAN to say is, I’m not sure if I can still do NC because it seems like she has already done it to me. Is there still a way that I can also use it, using the free plan, to get her back?

  65. Cherish says:

    Hi there,
    hope you are doing wrong. I would like to tell you about my broken heart story. May someone can give me an advice, which I would very appreciate.
    my bf broke up with me on January 21th, 2010. He told me, that he has no feelings for me anymore – after a 4 years long-term relationship (!). I have to say, that this situation occurred the first time on September 2009. We had a normal discussion about feelings and our special situation. He was so cold to me and I knew that something changed in our relationship. He got a lot pressure @work and @home. He has to support his family which is fine for me! Because of his religion we had to hide our relationship so far. I asked him more often, when he would like to announce our relationship to his family. He was not sure about this, so he told me he has to think about it. He is very unique. We do have different cultures and religions. But I agree and accept his religion. Then once in a while we didn’t see each other that much:( I did not want to lose him so I decided to give him some space. It is so weird – he told me he loves me and one month later he broke up on accident with me. Because I confronted him on our anniversary with his coldness. He started to cry. He is very emotional. To keep it short, for one week I kept the no contact rule – just to see if he does miss me. He missed me, but I don’t know actually if he missed me like a friend or gf ;( But he respected the no contact rule at all and didn’t contact me. After 5 days I wrote him a message, he still acted cold. so after 2 weeks we met each other to talk about the situation. He apologized saying I am a wonderful woman and he wished his feeling would change, but it doesn’t. He lied to me 3 month, because he thought he could make his heart to love me again, but things does not work the way he planned.
    He was so sorry but wanted to keep in touch with me, but he totally understand my feelings and situation and respect the no contact rule and if I am doing better I shall contact him again. He does not wanted his staff per mail, he told me that we gonna meet each other again. He is totally into his job. He lost every social environment. I asked my brother to still keep in touch with my ex bf. My Ex BF replied that at the moment he need to be with himself alone, because happened to recently :-(

    I started again with the NC rule and for about 17 days now, I don’t have a clue how he is doing etc. I am feeling very bad and horrible. Feeling I lost my heart. Please can you help me? We had a special relationship we were best friends and lovers :-((( I still love him very much. I am so scared that I am loosing him completely…. Please dont tell me it is hopeless…that would break my heart again ;-((((((

  66. Cherish says:

    sorry typo: hope you are doing well….

  67. S. Williams says:

    Josh wrote:

    What I MEAN to say is, I’m not sure if I can still do NC because it seems like she has already done it to me. Is there still a way that I can also use it, using the free plan, to get her back?

    I am not a mind reader, you should have calmed down and explained your situation to me.

    Yes, you can!

    Just start at the beginning of the free plan, and follow every step, it’s your job to figure out how to send her the NC message…there must be someway.

    Just mail it to her with the line on the bottom of the envelope: Attention – You Were Right – This Is My Last Letter.

    That should get her to open it, and read it.

    Then just follow all the rest of the steps in the free plan, it is that simple.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  68. amy says:

    ehi sw, i think i may have sent the wrong nc message it seams that he has ended it with me. what i didnt say in his reply was that he said that he wanted nothing to do with me that he was gonna block me from him getting anymore emails. that he has tried being nice to me and being nasty hoping that i would take the hint and when have i ever tried to contact you. I by chance emailed him back telling him basically that i now understand and that i would back of bla bla bla. He emailed me back saying that he was glad that i has moved on and no he hadnt blocked me and that he had tons of isssues himself and wasnt the best person to give advice and he was really bad for it but i shouldnt analyse things to much or dwell on the past. what i want to no is him not blocking me does he still like me cause that last email i sent he seamed really angry with me plus i dont know if he quite understands that i want us to try again.I think my past may have affected the way i was towards him plus he knew i was still grieving loosing a partner and i know that he told my brother that he didnt want to get in the way of that but i do want to try with this guy again and see were it goes.

  69. Josh says:

    Ok, you’re right, that might work. It’s worth a shot anyway. And at the end, this will end up with me and her getting back together again?

    Thank you, Scott.

    Take Care,

    -Josh

  70. S. Williams says:

    amy wrote:

    i think i may have sent the wrong nc message

    If you read, and followed the free plan, and sent the recommended NC message word for word…you sent the right NC message.

    If you didn’t use the NC message I the free plan word or word…send it now.

    As far as all thew rest of the drama in your comment, that doesn’t mean shit.

    If you follow the plan, you will succeed, it’s that simple.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  71. S. Williams says:

    Josh wrote:

    And at the end, this will end up with me and her getting back together again?

    50/50 chance…which is way better than the odds you have now, right?

  72. S. Williams says:

    Cherish wrote:

    I started again with the NC rule and for about 17 days now

    Hi,

    I have no idea what NC plan you’re following, and what type NC message you sent.

    Go read the free plan (top of my Blog), and if you didn’t follow all the directions in the plan, and send the recommended NC message (word for word)…start over and do it now.

    Then follow all the rest of the steps in the plan…17 days isn’t shit…this takes from 3-6 months or more.

    If you really want them back, you will do what it takes, right?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  73. Josh says:

    S. Williams wrote:

    Josh wrote:
    And at the end, this will end up with me and her getting back together again?
    50/50 chance…which is way better than the odds you have now, right?

    Yes, you’re right. I also just wanted to let you know, Scott, that as I mentioned previously, I am not “stretching the truth”, it is simply that as I said, after all the things I have been through since she left me, it has been very traumatic, and my memory is shot to hell, so I really can’t remember now whether it’s been exactly 6, 7, or 8 years, and I said that. I am doing my best to remember/guess. :cry:

  74. James says:

    Hi sw just wanted to say that i have taken my fist step in the rite direction. Today again after a week my ex contacted me and we spoke. I have now sent her the no contact message exactly as what you have. and automatically she replied asking what big descitions? hen replied again saying that apparently i am goin off the rails and need to see a doctor and then again saying she is only saying this because she cares and because were close. I have not replied to any of these and i am now not going to. She made her descition and now i need to try re build my life. as you say its 50/50 either she will want me back or i will move on.
    Thanks!

  75. S. Williams says:

    James wrote:

    I have now sent her the no contact message exactly as what you have. and automatically she replied asking what big descitions? hen replied again saying that apparently i am goin off the rails and need to see a doctor and then again saying she is only saying this because she cares and because were close. I have not replied to any of these and i am now not going to.

    Excellent Job James! :thumbup:

    That’s the way to kick loves ass :kickbutt:

    She made her bed, and you just fluffed her pillows :willy_nilly: now she can lie in it.

    Now follow the rest of the steps in the free plan, and focus on your personal evolution.

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  76. amy says:

    hi sw, i wrote him an email that i was good that i had moved on and that the past was better kept in the past and that i was no were ready for another relationship at that time,and possibly i was now that i have moved on with my life. He hasnt replyed back i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing. anyways i have decided to leave things at that and not have any contact with him and see what happens and see if this guy was for real or not.

  77. S. Williams says:

    amy wrote:

    hi sw, i wrote him an email that i was good that i had moved on and that the past was better kept in the past and that i was no were ready for another relationship at that time,and possibly i was now that i have moved on with my life.

    Hi,

    That is not the recommended NC message.

    You’re not following the steps in the free plan, so you are on your own.

    Good Luck!

    S.W.

  78. amy says:

    hi sw, are you saying because i aint sent the proper nc message that i dont have a chance of getting him back or finding out how he really feels about me. wont he think that im playing with his head or playing games if i send the proper nc message after what i said in the previous email sorry i dont mean to go on but he is right he hasnt tried to contact me since he decided to call it quits and all the nc messages suggest that so i dont quite understand it or how it is meant to work. i do apppreciate the help and advice you are giving me.

  79. S. Williams says:

    amy wrote:

    hi sw, are you saying because i aint sent the proper nc message that i dont have a chance of getting him back or finding out how he really feels about me.

    Yes, you either follow the plan correctly, or not at all.

    Everyone who has been successful has followed the plan correctly.

    I give the plan away for free, you have to bring the courage to use it correctly.

  80. jenna says:

    Hi Scott,
    i don’t have a no contact option. you see im 18 and attending my last semester of high school… my ex goes to the same school as me and is on the bus with me to and from school. is there a way that i can pull away and only talk to him when i have to? and is the program for people of all ages because i know alot of people may not take my breakup seriously due to my age.

  81. S. Williams says:

    jenna wrote:

    is the program for people of all ages

    Hi Jenna,

    If there were an age limit it would be mentioned in the free plan.

    Go read the free plan, top of my Blog, you can follow this plan.

    People who have lived in the same house have followed the free plan, and were successful.

    The only stipulation with the free plan, is that you read it, follow it, help yourself, and not ask me 100 questions, understand?

    Everything is covered in the plan, one way or the other…use your common sense and you will be fine.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  82. amy says:

    hi, im feeling really hurt just now reading back on his second last email before i sent the wrong nc message ifeel he probably just wanted to use me for sex. otherwise he wouldnt have given up so easliy and walked away. His words just cut me like a knife he came across so angry and nasty. i wished he had blocked my emails hes just as bad as i am. I feel that i hate him at this paticular moment in time.

  83. S. Williams says:

    @ amy:
    Don’t worry about what happened in the past.

    Send the right NC message and get your personal evolution started, and create a better future for yourself.

  84. Joey says:

    My Girlfriend and I broke up after three months of dating because I let the little things get to me and I hurt her feelings on two consecutive weekends by calling her hurtful things like unaffectionate,tomboy,and just let jealousy get the best of me. I knew I was wrong and apologized, but two days later she called suggesting a 1 month break. She said “it’s not a break up just a break”, I agreed after apologizing again numerous times to the break. It has been 3 weeks and she has not contacted me via anything (call, text, etc.)I have texted her once a week to ask her how shes doing but thats it. I fear she really just wanted to break up in the first place. I have been using this time to learn from my mistakes, sure it hurts and the memories just make it harder, but I truly know I was wrong and I still have feelings for this girl. I just hope I didnt break her heart beyond repair.. she said I changed. What advice do you have for me? I love her.

  85. S. Williams says:

    Joey wrote:

    What advice do you have for me?

    Hi,

    The best thing to do right now is use the free plan on my Blog (link at the top), and send her the recommended NC message for a break (not break up).

    Then follow all the rest of the steps, following this process will help her to deal with her feelings for you faster.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  86. sam says:

    i think my situation is hopeless i did do the no contact for about 3 weeks broke it and contacted him then we just quit talking for about 3 weeks and i found out he had a girlfriend, and when i sent him another text and they had been only dating for a month i said tryin to play it cool that i dont care ( i am happy for you, and i am happy, dont have the same feelings anymore) well he got pist off and said dont talk or text him anymore and i brought out the bad in him and he doesnt care, and then i found out he is engaged i dont know what to do we were together for like 3 years ????? I really miss him like crazy ?????

  87. S. Williams says:

    sam wrote:

    i dont know what to do

    Hi Sam,

    NC doesn’t work unless you follow a good plan, and stick to it, understand?

    I recommend that you read and follow all the steps in the free plan on my Blog (link at the top).

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  88. lish says:

    so its been 2 months since my bf and i broke up. i sent the message 2 weeks after the breakup, and after three weeks he contacted me. a week after that he contacted me again. i’d make him wait for a response. plus, i was busy anyway doing my thing :D a couple of days after that we agreed that we miss each other, but the time apart has been really good for both of us, and we’d see how things went. since then he’s been contacting me every day. being flirty, and even calling me the nicknames he used to call me when we were together. that started last week. there were only two days in this time period we didn’t talk to each other. i do not initiate any contact, i let him do all of the work. he even asked if maybe we could get together soon… just two days ago he told me he got his ticket to go to colorado in june, and when i said that i wanted a vacation, too, he told me i should go with him. that same night he called me to tell me about a condo he’s looking into buying. it’s a one room loft, and he kept telling me how i’d love it, and how it’d even be fine for “another person” to live there. dropping hints??

    i’m still just playing it cool. doing what i’ve been doing. i just don’t want to be stuck in this “in between” stage. 8-O

  89. lish says:

    i also forgot to add that he signed online (which he rarely does) after we hadn’t talked all day sunday, and we spoke via webcam. that was the first time in 2 months that we had seen each other, and it went very well!

  90. S. Williams says:

    lish wrote:

    i’m still just playing it cool. doing what i’ve been doing. i just don’t want to be stuck in this “in between” stage.

    Then I suggest you start correctly following the plan.

    You broke NC way too soon, and that is why you are stuck back in the just friends zone.

    Start over and follow all the steps in the free plan, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  91. Anna says:

    Hey,
    so me and my boyfriend broke it off about 2 weeks ago (we lasted about 7 months), but he would have done it sooner if I wasn’t crying all over the place. He said he didn’t have those feelings for me, and that he loved me as a friend and cared for me. This is the second time he breaks it off with me…The first relationship we lasted about 8 months, and though we had good times, we also had our arguments. When he broke it off the first time he said that he didn’t love me, but wanted to remain friends. I was a disaster, and spent 10 months trying to pick myself up, even when he kept coming back and forth (i had told him to never talk to me again, but he still kept sending me messages, voicemails, texts, calls, even when I didnt pick up). Well when he finally came back I was so happy because he realized he loved me, but the second time I screwed it up because I was under alot of stress and we just ended up arguing. Well finally he got fed up and broke it off again. My question is will the NC rule work this second time around? I know it would work between us the third time since I know what I did wrong, and he hasnt repeated any of his mistakes.

  92. S. Williams says:

    Anna wrote:

    My question is will the NC rule work this second time around?

    Hi,

    Seeing that you NEVER used NC correctly, this would actually be the first time, and yes, it will work great.

    Go read the free plan on my Blog, and then follow ALL the steps, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  93. Anna says:

    thanks for answering my question. I wanted to know if the NC works even if you had closure with the ex? I didn’t want to, but since I did agree that the break-up was a good idea it ended up with closure.

  94. S. Williams says:

    Anna wrote:

    I wanted to know if the NC works even if you had closure with the ex?

    Yes, it does.

    The only time it will not work is if your ex doesn’t love you anymore…that’s a no-brainer actually.

  95. amy says:

    hi sw,well he did get in contact a couple of days later saying how good it was 2 see me and if i was still up for meeting for a coffee he was gonna get these tickets for dynamic earth that it would give my little girl something 2 do while we had a chat and that he would be intouch 2 let me know if he got them or not.i couldnt beleive it when he emailed me 2 tell me the tickets had been put on hold as his work had layed him off another three weeks and if he had a job 2 go back 2 that they were made redundant in june.i duuno what to now now or what to think because now hes telling me that he cant make any plans or promises as he has alot of things to sort out before he can think about going for coffees but that he would defo be in touch in the near future if im still up for it what should i do get on with my own life and in the mean time get on with my own life.

  96. S. Williams says:

    amy wrote:

    i duuno what to now now or what to think because now hes telling me that he cant make any plans or promises as he has alot of things to sort out before he can think about going for coffees but that he would defo be in touch in the near future if im still up for it what should i do get on with my own life and in the mean time get on with my own life.

    Hi,

    Do just that…get on with your life, he could be just making excuses.

    The whole point of the free plan and NC is to get your life back.

    If you are still hanging around waiting for him to come back, you are not following the free plan.

    You attempted to reconnect, now wait for him to reach out to you, in the meantime get out there and start dating again…life is too short.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  97. amy says:

    will me dating other guys not push him even further away from ever getting to gether again?

  98. S. Williams says:

    amy wrote:

    will me dating other guys not push him even further away from ever getting to gether again?

    How do you push someone away, who willingly walked away?

    When your ex broke up with you, he walked away, and he is staying away…right?

    You can’t push them away, they already left…you’re grasping at straws because you’re afraid to do what needs to be done.

    The problem is your lack of courage, that is what is going to keep you trapped and unhappy.

    I have everything you need to help yourself…in the free plan along with free support, but I can’t make you use it…you have to make that choice.

    I opened your cell door, and showed you the way out, all you need are the guts to walk out of your prison and be happy again.

    You are keeping yourself trapped, not your ex, your ex is a free man off doing what he wants, while you wait around for him to come back…pitiful. 8)

    Your choice.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  99. Amool says:

    Hi
    thanx for the free plan and support
    i sent my ex sms with the NC letter 10 days ago.. he tried to reach me on messenger yesterday and today he sent me an e.mail complaining that i;m egnoring him in messenger and asking how i feel and what’s going on with my life..
    should i ignore his messeges or answer him..
    we broke up 2 months ago

    waiting for your advice
    Amool

  100. S. Williams says:

    Amool wrote:

    should i ignore his messeges or answer him..

    Hi,

    First your ex has totally disregarded your request for NC by contacting you, right?

    He is showing you no respect at all, like what you want doesn’t matter, only what he wants.

    Do you think it is a good idea to respond to him? 8)

    Let’s reward his lack of respect for your wishes by being a good little puppy, and doing what he wants.

    Then he will think you are full of shit, and you are NOT serious about the NC message you sent him.

    This will put you right back at step one of the plan again, is that what you want?

    NC means no contact, did you read the “whole” free plan?

    It will tell you what to do.

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  101. hope says:

    S.DUBB WASSUP MAN , IM FEELING MYSELF SLIPPING JUST A LIL AFTER DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB. I’VE COMPLETED NC ALREADY , ME ND MY EX HAD OUR FIRST DATE ND IT WAS HARD TO GET HER COMFORTABLE BUT I ENDED UP HAVING HER LAUGHING ND IN COMFORT AGAIN. I KNOW I FUCKED UP THO BECAUSE A COUPLE DAYS AFTER OUR MEETING SHE TEXTS ME TO SAY HI ND WE’VE TEXTED A COUPLE TIMES DURING THE WEEK. I SEENT A VIDEO TODAY WHERE T.W JACKSON SAID TEXTING CAN BE A BIG ATTRACTION KILLER DURING THIS PERIOD , ND I’VE BEEN DOING IT SMH. I CALLED MY EX UP TODAY THO ( WE HUNG UP ON TUESDAY ) ND SUGGESTED WE HUNG OUT THE FOLLOWING TUESDAY ND SHE SAID SHE CANT BECAUSE SHE PLANS ON STUDYING THIS WEEK FOR A BIG TEST COMING UP. WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW , I KNOW I SHOULDN’T TEXT , WHAT ABOUT SPEAKING ON THE PHONE ? I DONT WANT TO FUCK THIS UP , IVE BEEN DOING SO GOOD. WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING WITH MYSELF ND THE PLAN NOW ?

  102. S. Williams says:

    hope wrote:

    WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING WITH MYSELF ND THE PLAN NOW ?

    Hi,

    Just read the last part of the free plan about reconnection, and if you need more input, you can read chapter 6 in the book The Magic of Making up.

    Remember, a plan only works of you follow it, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  103. pear says:

    if last contact was him telling you do not contact, i will not repond, you have to move on, does a nc message apply? breakup happened a few months ago, but there was contact by phone, email, sms from both ends, met up once on his initiation, contact kept up till just a wk ago, when a text like this was received. it seems to shift point of contact on me, as if he was being harasssed!! when it was not like this. we also no longer friends on facebook, even though he hardly uses it!!

  104. S. Williams says:

    pear wrote:

    if last contact was him telling you do not contact, i will not repond, you have to move on, does a nc message apply?

    Hi,

    Yes, it still applies.

    This plan (the free plan) never has, or will depend on what your ex says or does.

    Read the free plan, and follow ALL the steps, when you send the recommended NC message, send it without any changes.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  105. pear says:

    am literally typing the no contact message word for word now. quick question – we exchanged text re his stuff which wéas at me as he lived there. I have since put this into boxes and a friend of his has picked these up and taken them to his place. I am not bringing this up in the NC message; but given our last exchange I do not want him thinking the NC message is some way to threaten not to give back stuff or for him to contact me back! Thankyou

  106. S. Williams says:

    pear wrote:

    I have since put this into boxes and a friend of his has picked these up and taken them to his place. I am not bringing this up in the NC message;

    If it was already taken care of, then you don’t need to mention anything about it in the NC message.

    Keep it unchanged for the best results.

  107. Bethany says:

    I hope you can help me. I am so confused about what we are but technically we are on break. I havent contacted him for a month. But there are some complications:He lost his father a few months ago(i thinks its terribly hard for him):(, and 90% of my things are still at his house, and i feel like im on a time crunch because he might he leaving in july/aug to afganistan. But since this month of no contact he hasnt contacted me and i understand he is probably going through lots of grieving and maybe isolation periods because of that, but if i get my own place within a couple weeks i would have to get my things and then that would be so hard and it would break the no contact rule. I dont know what to do. The only thing that i just recently did was send him a cheer up kinda card with some money in it for taking care of my bird overthere. But i didnt get mushy at all.

  108. Bethany says:

    Oh, i forgot to add that he wanted me to recover at my parents place because i had back surgery in january. And also i sent the card because i wanted him to know im there for him and i feel for what hes going through. So i dont know if thats the same as a average break or whatever.

  109. Joan says:

    I’m so lost. Long story short. My b.f and I were dating over a year and July he started acting withdrawn. I tried everything to make him excited.. then one evening he called me and said it was over. I cried and cried and begged. We agreed to meet up that weekend and talk. He said he didn’t know if he loved me anymore. I though everything was fixed when I left that weekend…boy was I wrong. For 2 months I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster. One min he is holding me and kissing me and the next saying, “I don’t know if there is anything”. Then we are back to kissing and I love yous…and then nothing. This weekend I called and called. Finally he called me back. At the end of the conversation. It was Take care Good-bye I’ll call you back later. 3 days go bye.. I called and he said we need to talk and he would call at 8. Now what do I do?????????????????

  110. Joan says:

    Update*** He called before I recieved a response. I was calm as I knew what he was going to say… He said, “It was working”. He thought it was going to but nothing. He said he was sorry for dragging me along. I said. I appreciate his apology and respect his decision. Then I said I had sent him an email I hope for him to read and said good-bye. The email was the NC. Did I do the right step? Also in 30 days do I still try to meet up as outlined in the book or do I wait longer?

    • Joan says:

      Correction : “HE SAID IT WASN”T WORKING”

    • S. Williams says:

      Joan says:

      Then I said I had sent him an email I hope for him to read and said good-bye. The email was the NC. Did I do the right step? Also in 30 days do I still try to meet up as outlined in the book or do I wait longer?

      Hi,

      I hope you sent the recommended no contact message without any changes, if not you need to send the correct one.

      Now just ignore ALL his attempts to contact you, no matter what he says, do not break no contact, understand?

      The NC message is only the first step, follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan.

      30 days is just a bench mark, I would wait at least 60-90 days that seems to be the most successful time range, but it could be longer, why?

      Because you “both” have to let go of the past “failed” relationship, and some people hold onto things longer than others do, any attempt to rush through no contact will result in failure.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • 1jenny says:

        I followed your plan to T…. I think the longer you can wait and draw out no contact the better.

        My ex and I didnt have any real contact after i sent the no contact email for 29 days. and this was a total of 60- days AFTER our break up.

        (he went no contact on me first after breaking up)

        Well he kept a bunch of my things at his house.

        Finally, nearly 40 days after the NC letter I sent him and 71 days after breaking up he met up with me at a local mall very briefly to give me my coat, a pair boots and my favorite earrings.’

        The funny thing is is that we both knew I still had a lot of stuff at his house.
        But instead of just asking me to go there and clear it out, we met briefly at a neutral spot.

        Nothing really happened, very light conversation. I was friendly but not too fake.

        Anyway two weeks after that meeting he and I got together as friends for coffee.

        and a few days after that went to the movies..

        Now 5 months after our break up we are on a new phase in a new relationship.

        People… Draw out no contact, don’t rush things, send th eno contact and stick to it…. then take little actions to move things forward.

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          Great Job!

          You found out that there is more to surviving a break up than just getting your ex back.

          You must evolve past the breakup, and get your life back

          Take things slowly and if they don’t work out, next time try focusing on attracting what you want in your life, as a feeling, not a person.

          What I mean to say is, focus on attracting the type of love you want, not the type of person you think could give you that love.

          I am willing to bet that when you attract that kind of love, that it will last a lifetime.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  111. Bobby says:

    What if I waited over 2 months to send the N.C. message? Is that too late? Do I stil have a chance?

  112. james says:

    Hi S.W.

    My ex broke up with me a few days ago. And since then, I tried initiating no-contact twice and failed. The first time I initiated it and said I was going to try to move on and be happy, I smsed her in a really happy tone, she smsed me back immediately, and said she was very heartbroken and shattered. This flipped an emotional switch in me and caused me to reply back saying I love her and promised to wait for her and stuff. And she said she wanted me to wait a few months to get back her feelings back. She said she wanna celebrate my birthday (coming up in a month’s time) and go overseas with me this coming dec holidays. And when she said she felt really hurt when I said I will get my friends to celebrate my bday instead.

    I contacted her the next day and asked how she was. And this time round, we had a one hour chat on what had went wrong with the relationship and we both promised to change. After we hung out, she said initially that ok, we have one last chance, and then right afterwards she said sorry, she was confused and she only wanted to be best friends now. But after that she said a lot of unpleasant thing like “ok, I give you one last chance” (this denotes that she’s having the power), and a few things saying that the relationship breakdown is more my fault than hers, and I have to change and stop a few of my behaviour. But finally she smsed this “i like you but i don’t love you. sry” All these sms finally got me to snap someway in my inner circuits. I decided that the current her is not worth having anymore, and I did NC on her this morning when she asked whether she wanna meet today for a movie.

    I am still going to carry on NC. =)

    Am I doing things rite?
    James

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Are you following the free plan?

      If not, you are NOT using no contact correctly.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Then you will be doing things correctly, OK?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  113. Ben says:

    Hi, tried the no contact but had to speak to my girlfriend to sort out details. She told me she was moving back in for financial reasons. Three days later she moved back in. It has been really tough on the first night she was upset. I tried to ignore her but couldnt. So I took her out and made her feel good. The past few days have been tough but she has been cold rather than upset. On sunday it was a bit to much. I didnt beg for her back but cried, asked questions and mentioned that I would like to start things again in the future. She said she had been having some doubts about the break up but that is what she wants. But it felt good to get it all out – bit to hard to keep it in when you see them everyday.

    I am moving out tomorrow and have told her that I want no contact and that I have let go. We are spending tomorrow together to say goodbye. What are my chances

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Since the free plan is only about getting your life back, your chances are real good, if you stick to the plan.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      If you use no contact (the free plan) correctly it will reveal your ex girlfriends true feelings for you, as well.

      But for now…focus only on getting your life back, not your ex girlfriend.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  114. Jerry says:

    hey,
    i’ve been following the free plan for quite some time now, and i think i messed up….after following no contact, i managed to get my ex and my life back. However, my impatience caused us to fall apart again. She says that she still loves me but is afraid of the same thing happening over and over again. As a result, i started the whole plan over again. After completing NC, we spent the whole weekend together. I dont know if this was such a good idea. We both agreed that it was one of the best weekeneds ever and she constantly told me how much she missed me and loves me. The problem is, we had sex over the weekend and shes dating other guys. She said that it made her feel like the only reason I came was to have sex. This is not the case and I miss her already. I feel like I rushed the rehealing process. I cant eat,sleep,focus, or stop thinking about her. What should i do? Should i start the free plan all over again or just be patient and continue to work on getting back together? She said that we should take things slow and see what happens but I’m not sure if I’m ready. I dont know what to do. I mentioned NC to her and she said that I was breaking her heart. what should i do? I dont want to push her away, when finally starts to come back.

    • S. Williams says:

      Jerry says:

      The problem is, we had sex over the weekend and shes dating other guys. She said that it made her feel like the only reason I came was to have sex. This is not the case and I miss her already. I feel like I rushed the rehealing process.

      Hi,

      If you were truly following the free plan, you would have known better than go away for a weekend during reconnection, that is known as premature reconciliation and it is discussed in video #4 in the Break up Help Videos section of my Blog.

      I suggest starting NC over and following ALL the steps in the free plan, and yes, that means re-sending the recommended NC message (no changes).

      Thanks for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • Jerry says:

        Okay, I gave her the NC letter not too long ago and immediately left. Since she has emailed me twice. The first said “what, are u leaving”. The second said “why”. I wont be able to order your book until later on this week so I’m a little lost. But,what does this mean? Should tell her why I gave her the letter? or should I just not respond?

        • S. Williams says:

          Jerry says:

          Should tell her why I gave her the letter? or should I just not respond?

          Hi,

          First of all, the letter (the recommended NC message) is self explanatory (if you didn’t alter it), so you do not need to explain yourself any further.

          Second, what does the phrase “No Contact” mean to you?

          If you are baffled, that means you did not read the free plan and follow all the (NC) links, and read the articles at the end of those links…why didn’t you?

          Your questions are all answered in the free plan.

          DO NOT attempt to join our forum unless you fully understand the free plan, you will only get banned.

          Thanks for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

          PS – I didn’t write the book, TW Jackson did, I created the free plan.

  115. EllevenOkay says:

    My ex broke up with me a month ago, and I havent started NCproperly yet.. But im about to. I saw him the other day, and he wore a shirt that I gave him.. I know he still isn’t over me even though he says so, so does it mean anything??? Or is it true that guys don’t put sentimental value into stuff and it’s only girls? Should I forget about stuff I left at his place while NC or ask them back before I NC?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I recommend you get your stuff back before you start using the no contact rule, why?

      Because this will make a bold statement that you are NOT playing some game to get him back, which in turn will flip his emotional switch and make him think about what he “really” wants.

      Plus, it won’t be as awkward…make sense?

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Once you get your stuff back from your ex boyfriend, go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, and evolve past the breakup.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  116. ajit says:

    hey ,
    iam ajit paul , and m 19 , actully i dnt speak english all da time , so m little weak in dis , m girlfrnd leave me , cause of some reasons , dat i dnt speak to her to much , she is out of town thees days , and i think forever , , and now she ,s not replying me , , give me some tipss , plzzzz

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      The best thing to do at this stage is not to chase her, and start using the no contact rule correctly.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex girlfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      The fastest way to get your ex girlfriend back, is to get your life back first.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  117. Jennifer says:

    If the relationship I want to get back was a “rebound relationship” to help my ex get over his past girlfriend, do I still have a 50/50 shot of winning him back if I follow the plan?

    Thank you.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      You always have a 50/50 chance of getting your ex boyfriend back.

      But…

      You have a 100% of getting your life back if you follow the free plan to get your ex back.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  118. berrybelly says:

    hi S.W.

    i have no where else to write this so thought id write it here. i was posting my nc diary and break up story yesterday and it was coming close to the 24 hour mark, i was at work so i couldnt post it until then. i had my break up story posted and was writing my nc diary when i got blocked even though i was still logged on and you said in one of your posts u wont block if the person is still logged on. could u please unblock me, i really want to join.

    all the best, username: berrybelly.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I have to wonder, is it really wise to conduct personal business while you’re at work?

      You posted your break up story and then logged off, which is not what you agreed to do when you registered for our break up help forum.

      I only assist “serious” people, and serious people follow the rules.

      Once you have lost your posting privileges on the break up help forum they will not be restored.

      This is why I ask everyone to thoroughly “read and understand” the forum guidelines and TOS before registering.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • berrybelly says:

        i meant i could not post my stories earlier because i was at work, i was not posting them while i was at work.

        my internet connection must have disconnected because i would not log off in the middle of writing my NC diary.

        its not fair to assume i am not serious, thats not your place to say. if i was not serious i would not have bothered posting these comments in the first place.

        i read and understood the guidelines that why i posted the first comment because i didnt understand why i had been blocked hence my internet connection must have went while i was logged on.

        i dont think its fair that now i cant join because of something out of my control but thanks anyway. The articles were very helpful and its supportive to read other peoples stories.

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          I am glad you brought up the subject of “being fair”.

          I have been offering the free plan to get your ex back and break up help forum for over 2 years now, and I don’t find it “fair” that people ask for my advice/help/support, and then do not do what they agreed to do.

          However, it happens anyways…it happens A LOT.

          But I don’t let that stop me from doing what I set out to do.

          Life isn’t fair, it is what YOU make of it.

          Serious people have and still do, make good use of this free support system to get their lives back without ever posting on our forum.

          And yet, there are some people who spend endless hours posting on our forum and still do not succeed.

          The free plan to get your ex back, like life, is what “YOU” make of it.

          I don’t have the time or resources to investigate every claim of misfortune while using the system.

          I have to act quickly and effectively as I am only a one person operation.

          You can get your life back (and hopefully your ex) without ever posting on our breakup help forum if you use the free plan to get your ex back correctly.

          If you feel you have been treated unfairly, by all means please seek advice/support elsewhere.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

          • berrybelly says:

            Hi,

            I understand. I didnt mean my message in a bitchy way or anything and definitely didnt want to be a crybaby, i hate them!

            Anyway just wanted to say i am grateful for your free plan and website, i was feeling pretty lost before i found it. Im on day 3 of NC now and determined to get my life back :)

            Thanks for your time, All the best.

  119. andrew says:

    Hi!

    I was in love with a woman(my first love) that changed my entire life for the better. We broke up when I moved because of work and tried again a few times the long distance route till she broke it off completely. I tried to reconnect but finally gave up and got married & raised two great kids and then got divorced. I am since living with a lady that really cares for me but a lot younger. I never wanted to find out what ever happened to my first love because of the pain & emotional stress it brought me.

    This past summer I was reconnecting with old friends I had not seen in years(avoided so not to hear about my first love I have come to realize now) and asked about her. Why I did this I don’t really know but can’t get her out of my mind now. She lives alone in another city but has ties with our common friend and is a success in her career.

    I wrote her a letter a few weeks ago my first to her in decades. I just told her I heard about her through our common friend and that she was a special person I had lost contact with. I left it at that.

    Any advice to try to contact her or more NC.

    Hi!

    I haven’t been sleeping much since a sent the letter to my ex and waiting for advice about step two in contact. By the way she never married and moved into her parents house I got from a mutual friend.

    I was thinking a gift on her upcoming birthday , say a book like the one in 2005 “My Boyfriends Back” – a collection of stories of long time relationships that got together…….I got the book on order?

    I was also thinking a picture of myself now?

    A phone call on her birthday?

    An written invitation to meet for coffee when I am in the area in a few weeks?

    An birthday card in a few months with a note that I will be in the area for a sporting event next spring?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Since this break up was “decades” ago, following the free plan from the very beginning would seem like a weird idea, right?

      But is it any stranger than trying to re-ignite a long lost love affair?

      I don’t think so.

      What have you got to lose, nothing.

      All your other ideas (card, flowers, phone call, etc.) would be something she’d expect.

      Sending the recommended no contact message without any changes would definitely get her attention.

      I guarantee that.

      You had since married, and divorced, but now she is back on your mind, and you are reliving the break up all over again, so the free plan will work for you.

      Listen…

      If I had taken my idea for this website to a highly educated relationship therapist, they would have laughed at me.

      I created it anyways, and I have helped a lot of people, why?

      Because it works, and it will work for you too.

      I don’t give a fuck what people think, I try something, and if it works I keep on doing it.

      Since this is about evolving past a break up (no matter how long ago), it can not fail.

      The main focus here is to evolve past the broken heart she left you with when she stopped trying to make your relationship work.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex girlfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – I have to ask…does your current live-in “lady” know about your feelings for your lost love? You can’t expect good things to happen to you if you are doing bad things to other people.

  120. Andrew says:

    S.W.,

    Thanks for the response though I don’t understand the “free plan” completely. When I asked a common friend about her a month ago I really had no idea what had become of her and other relationships. This person is very unique and very private including withdrawn from social interaction. To illicit a response from her side has always been an impossibility but I was always gentle with her the years we were freinds. She only has a small circle of family she is close to. I found out her parents had died and included sympathy in my letter.

    I was thinking about meeting the common friend for coffee and finally opening up to them about my history with my ex. ???????????????

    I was also thinking about sending her another note with a recent picture of me along with that book titled “My Boyfriends Back”( about 30 year old reunions with ex’s)??????????????????????

    How does that sound?

    As for the question of my friend I am with now, she knows I want to break out on my own soon as I have told her I need to be alone. It is just a matter of weeks.

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