I can greatly enhance your chances of getting back together with your ex boyfriend, and have him down on his knees begging with these 2 killer tips. Do you have the feeling that everything you try only creates more distance between you and your ex boyfriend? Do you find yourself asking the question “What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back” almost daily?
If saving and rekindling your relationship is very important to you, and it must be if you’re reading this article, you have to calm down…why? Because your anxiousness to get your ex back fast will cause you to over react, and will only cause your ex to pull away from you…make sense? Even though it is very hard to struggle against this because it is only human nature, you must learn good emotional control before it gets ugly…if you want to succeed.
Excessive calling, sending emails or texting will drive him away so you must stop these things immediately. I know you are wondering “What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back, before he finds a new girlfriend?”, but you must first focus on what you are doing to push him further away.
Here are some tips you can use to get your ex back. They will have him crawling back to you, and answer that question “What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back?”.
Killer Tip 1
Follow the no contact rule. I know you think you know how to follow it correctly but believe me 99% of the people don’t…so find a good plan. The no contact rule is not just about ignoring your ex boyfriend it is about letting go of him, and finding yourself again, and this is very important. Most people think NC is about ignoring them until they want to get back together again…wrong!
Killer Tip 2
Once you pull back and stop chasing your ex boyfriend, he will begin to miss you…at first he will be surprised that you “gave up”, and it will cause a shift in the way he thinks about you. I know you’re asking yourself “What can making him think I am not interested anymore do to help me get my ex boyfriend back again?” This is what you can learn from following a good plan to “get my ex boyfriend back”. Especially a plan that is backed up with excellent personal support…want to know where to find one? OK, keep reading before your ex boyfriends dating a new girlfriend he found on a singles dating site.
Free Step by Step Plan
If you are in a break up situation you have to learn how to think with your head, and not with your heart. If you want my help to “get my ex boyfriend back”, join my free newsletter for free videos, advice, support forum, and a free step by step plan to get your life/ex back fast. On my Blog you will find the answers and the support you seek, along with a free step by step plan. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.
Until next time,
S. Williams
~I know that “love hurts” but with my help you will get strong enough to kick love’s ass~
http://www.howtogetyourexbackfast.com
Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You are free to reprint this article, as long as you do not change anything in the article – it must be in it’s original form…including my name, website address, and this statement.
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Hi S.W.
I will never get tired of hearing this. Everytime I hear it I become more and more empowered to not contact him. Yes I still miss him but missing him no longer controls my actions. As I mentioned to you before we broke up over a year ago and then we both stopped contacting each over for about 4 months…but that is not the same as No Contact. He knew I was still in the “wind” waiting for him. I took back my power the minute I sent the NC letter. FYI – I am on Stage 2 and I did buy the book. On with my personal evolution…
hi there, my husband left me after 15 years and two kids, he has no one else and he works constantly, i have constantlt texting hin all the timeto come home and its made him angry and now wnt reoly to my texts i dont knowwhta to do for the best. he says he never coming back but deep down i dont believe him and i still get on with his family yet he wont open up to them and he never discusses us to my face or talk about it only through textx hesays to move on hes not coming back what do i need to do to make him come to his senses, please help me lisa
I have had to send my ex 2 nc messages already and he has accused me of playing head games with him. So I am not so sure if I should send him another. Most of the time I am the one who contacts him anyway. He just responds. However, I feel I have stopped chasing him but I am kidda in limbo as to what to do next. If I send him another nc he will definatlly know something is going on. He has told me he does care for me but he does not want to be with me. However, when I talk about moving on it does upset him. He told me I must have never really loved him them….HELP PLEASE
iv just sent my first nc text and and had no reply is that suppose to hppen, what if i dont get any response at all, really worried this isnt going to wor ;(
Renee wrote:
Hi Renee,
They say that Repetition is the mother of all learning…so keep reading, and learning, OK?
You’re doing a Great Job Renee! (Thumbs High)
Thanks for you comment.
S.W.
Take Care,
beckyg wrote:
Hi Becky,
Sending the NC messages is not the reason your ex is accusing you of playing head games…breaking NC is why, understand?
If you are certain you can stick to NC this time, go follow the free plan on my blog…step-by-step.
There is much much more to this plan then just sending the correct NC message, and the plan will show you the rest of the steps.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
Everyone has the same fear, that is natural.
Some people get responses right away…some get them later…some not at all.
But remember you asked to be left alone, and if they aren’t contacting you that is because they’re respecting your wishes.
Now stop focusing on negative things, and follow all the rest of the steps in the free plan, OK?
Stay Strong!
S.W.
thanx s.w todays a new day i have taken his number off my phone so i cant ring or text ! but his daughter and son do stay in touch and iv learnt not to ask what there dad say says is trhat a good thing !!!! lisa
lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
Yes…That’s a good thing!
Good Job Lisa! (Thumbs High)
Stay Strong!
I always thought the point of No Contact was silence no matter what. I am not sure I see the need to announce it, unless your ex is stalking you. Goodbye is goodbye. Most of the time the dumper will never call anyway, because of the guilt. Then at some point when they do, if you are over them then I think it’s okay to respond, if you’re not over them then don’t respond. The dumper will get it, when they don’t get an answer from you it means that you don’t want to talk to them yet. No need to send a NC letter, it’s kind of like stating the already obvious and takes up your valuable time that should be spent getting over the dumper. That’s just my two cents.
KF wrote:
Hi KF,
You thought wrong…but then again you’re not alone.
That’s why I built this Blog to educate people…people that want to learn that is.
KF wrote:
You don’t get the concept behind using no contact correctly at all.
Even if you never want your ex back (which is highly unusual) you need to kick start your personal evolution…and using the correct no contact message will do that for you.
There are a lot of people in our forum that will attest to that.
You can learn what I am talking about by following the free plan on my Blog…and it don’t even cost two cents.
Take Care,
S.W.
today has been quite hard not to get in touch but iv done it! i write what im feelin down with positive thoughts!!! im feeling good about things for the first time in a long time and see an end to this misery and hopefully things will turn out just how i want them!!!! thanks again lisa
lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
That’s Great!
I hope you’re following all the steps in the plan, and you have joined our forum.
The personal support in there is phenomenal.
Keep up the great work Lisa! (Thumbs High)
Stay Strong!
S.W.
my daughter has been texting her dad which is good but has been asking him to come home and telling her dad that miss him and still love him and that we all do and tells him if im having a sad day and stuff do i stop her from doing that or let her carrying on as i dont want to seem to be interfering and make it look bad, its day 3 and im sr=truggling a bit but i wont give in!!! i do miss his presence around though but i can do things on my own x lisa
lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
I don’t think it will hurt o let her daughter text her dad.
This isn’t about her…it’s between you and him.
Just stick to polite NC, and keep following the rest of the steps in the free plan.
This is only the beginning of your personal evolution, there is more work to be done…keep learning, and evolving…OK?
Stay Strong!
S.W.
hi had to break the no contact rule today as i had to to talk urgently about our daughter, never spoke about us or anything just our daughter and was very pleasent and he sounded glad to hear from me do i send the no contact message again or just carry on as it was only about our daughter. this is the first time i spoke to him with wailing on about how i mis and love him and come home, that was good and felt good to, lisa x
lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
No, you don’t need to send the no contact message again.
It is OK to communicate with your ex about shared responsibilities as long as you keep it to the point.
It sounds like you did great!
Read the free plan, and follow all the links about no contact to learn how it works, OK?
Great Job Lisa! (Thumbs High)
Stay Strong!
S.W.
I’m on my 5th day off no contact I’m doing crap I’m thinkin I won’t see or hear off him agen x
natalie10 wrote:
Natalie that is just your doubts and fears whispering in your ear…shut them up by following the free plan, and getting support in our forum.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
S. Williams wrote:
I’m also wondering like KF. What specifically is the difference between starting your own personal evolution with an NC letter and starting your personal evolution without it? Not clear what the letter specifically does that’s so important. Can you explain? It sounds like you’re saying “just do it”, but when it comes to your life I’d like to hear some helpful description of what the letter in particular does.
Thanks
Jaye wrote:
Still over analyzing…
Try reading the free plan instead of asking me question after question, OK?
I spent a lot of my time writing it to answer every question I have ever heard…do you think you’re the first to ask me these questions?
Like I said before if you doubt the plan…go look somewhere else, OK?
No plan will work for people who are just too afraid to do anything about their situation.
That’s the truth.
Now either go read the free plan, or go find another site for help.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi,
I have been reading your blog for sometime now. Let me say that you are doing such a nice thing for people who have been heart-broken.
Here is my situation. He broke up with me about 6 months ago. And I initiated NC right away. I let 4.5 months go like that; meantime I did all the right things in summer – vacation with friends, going to gym as I used..talking to other guys etc.
Then I IM’d him saying hi about a month ago, and since then we have been talking regularly. I can tell he feels very comfortable with me sharing whats going on with his life..e.g,he is telling me how bored he gets talking to this girl. And he hasks me about the guy I have been talking to. I don’t tell him much about it..keeping things a little suspenseful..
Anyways, how long I should let things go on like this? I dont want him to think we are friends all on a sudden. I am meeting him next month..and hopefully things will start turning around..
Do you have any suggestion about my situation? You think I am on the right track?
waiting to hear back from u!
~ Elma
Actually I should have pointed out – I am worried that he thinks we both have moved on. I have been friendly with him over this past month and never talked about the breakup, but how do I subtly let him know that I still want him, just don’t need him. I don’t want him to think I don’t have any more feelings for him anymore!
What signs I should be looking in him to find out what whether he is missing me?
I’d so appreciate your help!
elma wrote:
Hi Elma,
Don’t worry…what good will it do you anyways, right?
Instead take action…I have an action plan for you…love hurts only when you do it the wrong way.
I want to help you learn a better (right) way…sound good?
Go follow the free plan, and we will talk in our forum.
I feel your pain, and I want to help.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
elma wrote:
Hi Elma,
This was a mistake…why?
Because when you want to reconnect you make contact to set up a short face to face meeting as outlined in the free plan on my Blog.
I am afraid by chatting away with him you put yourself back in the just friends zone.
That is why I suggested in my previous comment that you start over again following the free plan.
I know you think it is crazy to start over again, but that is the only way I see for you to make things right, understand?
The sooner you start doing NC correctly, the sooner you will succeed.
Take Care,
S.W.
im so angry with myself to get sucked in to his mind games we ended up arguing when he rang about the children so i have sent th nc again today! how do go about talking about the children with out him going about he isnt coming back when its not me who asked but the kids and moaning at me that he cant afford wherehe is living and about me going out with my friends saying at least i can afford to go out but he cant afford his bills and food!! is that a subtle way saying he has made a mistake but wont admit or just playing games with me he says he wants a divorcethen says when we argue dont divorce me then and says he depressed and low and that i dont know how he feels !! he crazy hdont jknow how to respond but i am staying strong and still going to the gym and going out with my friends!!!! lisa
lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
If he won’t talk with you calmly about your children, then politely say good bye, and hang up.
Soon he will learn to act civil with you, or you won’t talk with him at all.
You did the right thing sending the NC message again.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hi Williams,
Do you suggest that i send him another NC sms?cos the one i sent was from a different love doctor,slightly different from yours but it did get him curious.and here i have you to respond to me.i must say i see thank you for this previledge.sorry i made a mistake typing my email.
sapphire wrote:
Yes, follow the steps in the free plan on my Blog.
You will find the link at the top of my Blog.
P.S. Stop double posting your comments, or I will block you from commenting on my Blog, OK?
Can I ask a question in your blog there is a part were it says if your ex wants to be a friend you say this is a stalling move what do u mean by that scott my ex was texting me bein very nice asking if he doesn’t mind if he texts an really wants be friends I’ve hit him with no contact today got a very nice reply that I didn’t respond to do u think he’s doing this stalling thing u mentioned I just want no about this stalling he was very very angry the other week I think its progress that he seemed nice agen but I’m stayin nc thanx
natalie10 wrote:
Hi Natalie,
I mean that he is putting off making a decision about whether you are just a friend or more than that.
If he can keep you in the “friends” zone…he will not have to make a decision…will he?
You will be in there forever.
But!
Once you take control by following the free plan, and send the recommended no contact message…he is forced to personally evolve, and make a decision.
Plus now you are not focusing on getting him back, and are now focusing on your own personal evolution.
Now the emotional “dust” will begin to settle, and you can make an intelligent decision about your future down the line…when you’re finished evolving in time.
Just keep reading and following all the steps in the free plan, OK?
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Yes I understand now I’m sorry I emailed u I just could of kicked myself for lettin him suck me in scott so ignore the emails I had to make that mistake to learn from it but I have a weird sense of strenth I’m goin to get ur ebook I think I need it an if it helps u keep this site up to help people like me its worth every penny thanx nat
natalie10 wrote:
If you mess up NC just send another NC message (exactly like the first one).
Keep doing it until you succeed…don’t worry about looking foolish…just focus on your personal evolution, and succeeding.
That’s called personally evolving…keep up the good work!
@ S. Williams:
the double posting was a mistake.i thought that since i had made a mistake typing in my email,i was going to have my replies sent to the wrong person.i wont do that again.
sapphire wrote:
Thanks!
It helps keep my Blog clean, and easier to read.
im so angry at myself for letting my self get sucked in we contact each other about the children which is great than he ends up arguing with me so i hang up iv sent the nc twice before this do i send it again or just leave it? the last call was we shouldnt be arguing and it was left like that i we havnt ben in touch with each other since do i just leave it or send again! thanx :0)
lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
If you discussed your past relationship, or your present personal life…then yes you should send it again.
Don’t let yourself get sucked into discussing anything (except the children) until you are ready, OK?
Keep starting over until you get it right.
He thinks he can win by making you break NC…but you will get stronger, and he will get weaker as time goes on.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hi scott is that the case as we do nc properly we get stronger an they get weaker why is that I’m in my 2nd day of no contact properly now so I hope its true that I can pull his real feelings through is there a good chance now that in proper nc I can move him out of just friends shit thanx muchly
@ S. Williams:
Hi
I sent my ex a NC email this morning and received a response righrt away saying:
OK-i rspect that. Take care.
What does this mean? Is it a good sign? Seems he is not affected by what i said and is ok with it.
Pls advise
copy wrote:
Hi Copy,
That doesn’t mean anything.
He is just trying to play it like he doesn’t care, stick with NC for a month, and work on your personal evolution.
I bet he will change his mind when your finished.
I hope you sent the recommended NC message as explained in the free plan.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
h there i have sent the nc message again! and he thought i was crazy sending the same text again and said dont ever contact him again thought i was going insane, he wasnt happy at all, is that a reaction to get or carry on with the nc it so hard when we have kids together xx ;0)
lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
If you had to send the NC again it must be because he got you to break it, right?
If he would just stop trying to get you to break NC, then you will stop sending him the message.
As far as being insane…I don’t think sending a message qualifies you as crazy.
It sounds to me that NC is pissing him off because you’re not reacting the way he wants, and you’re taking control.
Great Job Lisa! (Thumbs High)
Hi Scott,
I did send a copy of the proper NC sms yesterday.Even though i’ve not heard from him yet,i’ve started work on myself.I guess it’ll take time.
Thank you for your support.
sapphire wrote:
Yes, it will…
Give yourself 30 days, and then re-evaluate your situation.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hi scott went out for the first time in a month it was amazing my ex is textin another one of my friends now after I nc his ass is that switch startin to flip I’m feeling a lot better do u think I’m making progress on me an flippin that switch scott thanx muchly
@ natalie10:
Hi Natalie,
Yeah, it sounds like you flipped his switch alright.
Great Job Natalie! (Thumbs High)
Even thow he isn’t textin me is that still a good sign he’s bein affected by nc its quite ambarresing that he’s textin another friend lol
natalie10 wrote:
If your ex is spying on you through your friends…he is quite desperate.
You just focus on your personal evolution, and leave him to his own evolution…which you started with NC.
P.S. Tell your friends not to give him any info about your personal life…he’s trying to circumvent NC.
Stay Strong!
spoke to him today about the chldren and it was very pleasent, he asked how i was as iv been unwell and what the dr said and he went to tell me something then said it didnt matter when i asked what do you want to say he said he forgotten and wasnt important xx for the first time in a long time he was really nice , nc working ithink , and im feeling goood about myself to!! i find it easy not to contact him unless about the kids!! thanx sw your great glad i found this sight as i believe its working and im in controll for the first time in a long time!! i have my moments but i pull my self together!! the children have a lot of contact by phone and they tell there dad i love him every day wish they wouldnt but but i dont interfere xx thank again !!!!
lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
I am glad you found my Blog too.
It’s great that you’re personally evolving, and taking back control.
Great Job Lisa! (Thumbs High)
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hi scott thanx muchly for ur reply an time its weird I don’t no how he’s got my m8s details he doesn’t no her he sed to her nat has mentioned u a lot to me it would be nice to put a face to the name x isn’t that a bit weird she hasn’t replyed to him don’t really no what I make of that scott I’m still strict nc not even tempted I did tell him in that nc msg not to contact my other m8 I had to as I nearly got fired for me an my m8 arguin but the rest was word for word hope that was ok really dint want loose my job scott thanx natalie
Hi Scott – NC 4mo. 2yr long-dist relationship-NY/CA. She dumped me f/a local ‘friend’ who was ‘helping’ her, cause, “you weren’t there,” she said. “I needed someone here.” (she’s sleeping with him, too). Last saw her in CA August, she said, “I want us to be friends.” I asked if she was in love with him. She said, “no” & “I’m not sure I know how to love.” She surely loved me–at least it seemed that way to me! :-( She’s Russian btw & has been married 2X before. She snt 1 ‘hello’ txt 2mo ago, which I ignored. My bday came & went w/no mssg–that hurt. Im in contact w/her daughter, who Im helping with college planning, etc. Last week, I sent ea of them a religious Christmas card, but kept the mssg to my Ex very simple, just wishing her & her daughter a blessed Christmas. I enclosed an iTunes gift card to the daughter, cause we have sort of a father-daughter relationship. She lives with her Mom, but I doubt they discuss me. Russian’s usu don’t dicsuss parent’s relationships. Did I break NC doing this? I’m working hard to evolve & becoming me again… I still love her & think about her every day. My friends (men & women) all advise me to “move on.” They all say she didn’t treat me very well, but LDR is vry challenging–only those who’ve tried it really know. I want to contact her this Spring–Her bday is early Spring (Pisces) BUT HOW????? I can’t just show-up in CA and say, “I was in the neighborhood”??? I need a plan. Anyone else in this situation???!!!! Ideas? P.S. Your site is excellent, but lacks specific advice about LDR reconnection. That would help a lot, maybe condifying other’s experiences & success? Thanks, Scott!
Will wrote:
Hi Will,
You’re wrong about the LDR information.
I have listed some ideas in the free plan, and there are 3-4 LDR break up success stories in our forum…so this plan works for LDR too.
Some of them are living in two different countries.
Have you been following the free plan, and using the free support tools?
It doesn’t sound like it.
The people who do all the hard work are successful, the one’s who don’t aren’t…it’s really that simple.
If you didn’t send the recommended NC message and follow NC, you need to start ASAP.
Following NC correctly means not sending stuff to her and her daughter.
She can’t miss you if you are always there in one way or another.
Your attempts to “help” her daughter only look like bribes to your ex…bribes for her (your ex’s) attention.
You need to start following the plan…from the beginning.
Take Care,
S.W.
hi there iv been doing so well and today it went all wrong im so peed with myself this time of year is making me think of all the xmases we had together has a family not a single bad one, then today iasked my hubby about xmas presents for the kids and he was so off with me and biting my head off, he sent me a ext saying that he was right that i would never change, what does that mean? im so damn confused so iasked him if he wanted a divorce o let me know so that i can start the new year with a clean slate, was that the wrong thing to do i think iv played right into his hands! so di i send the nc again, he said the kids need to stop texting him what iv been up too and to stop them asking home for xmas! he driving me crazy!!! but i am putting myself first and gettting on with life, without him and im doing it, but i do love and miss him! is it beginning to get to him and what he has lost well i hope so!! have a great xmas and newyear s.w :0)
lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
It sounds like NC and the Holidays are taking their toll on both of you, but you’re not alone.
When he is acting this way do not let him drag you into it with him…you have a choice…politely say “good-bye” and hang up, or get dragged into an argument.
Do not play into his hands, he is trying to make you feel responsible for his decision.
Since you sent him the NC message again (hopefully the one the free plan recommends) don’t contact him any more.
As far as your kids, do your best to get them to stop contacting him as well…this will drive him crazy.
Suffering through one not so great Christmas to get your family back isn’t too much to ask…is it?
He will soon have to eat his words, and that will flip his switch even more.
Don’t let his behavior make you think he doesn’t care about his family any more.
He is obviously hurting and when people are in pain they lash out.
Just stay out of the way and let him work through the pain on his own, OK?
Have a Great Holiday Season, and I hope the New Year brings your family back together again.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
To make a long story kinda short…I’m 17 years old, and I found out my boyfriend of 5 years lied to me again, for the third time.These lies are about the SMALLEST things..I found out the day before I left on my cruise..at that time, he was begging for me back, saying we’ll make things work when i get home, and it’ll never be too late to make it work with us. I couldn’t text when i was gone but when i turned on my phone when i got to the airport, i had a txt from him two days before saying “i hope you’re having fun, i miss you. i love you so much. i’m sorry” I txt him back when i get home and he wants nothing to do with me..i freak out and ask for him back and finally get him to talk..he tells me time is best for us and will bring us closer..so i we were friends and okay when we saw each other at school..but then i find out he told this girl that he never told me we’d get back together. so i txted him and got so mad and we said some really harsh things and said we were done for good…that was a little over a month ago..i’d left him alone after that but two weeks later, he finds out my grandma passed and he txted me saying he was so freakin sorry and he’s here whenever i need to talk..a week later, i asked if he’d consider meeting me to talk and he said not that night but another night for sure. it’s been a little over two weeks since then, and when he sees me in the halls, he wont look at me and if he sees me, he goes SO far out of his way to make me jeaous..it’s gotten kind of amusing. He broke up with me a couple of summers ago, and i made out with someone and so did he. He has never been able to get over me making out with this boy though, because they were friends..the girl that he told that he was never coming back to me to, was the one girl that the guy i had made out with has EVER been close to serious with..so it seems like he’s trying to get me and the guy back by talking to her..this is killing me..do you think me giving him some time and space for a while will make him come around? It’s been a little over two weeks now with absolutely no contact at all.
Chelsea wrote:
Hi Chelsea,
I think you should follow the free plan on my Blog.
You can find the link at the top of my Blog in the middle.
Take Care,
S.W.
hi s.w wow what a day i have to send the n c message again i think, he has got on his eye horse bbecause my daughter told him some other guy was interested and sent me flowers and gifts i didnt know she had sent this but have put a stop to it like you suggested she didnt mind at all, he then sent me radom messages saying i dont love you any more that i should move on and he wants a divorce< then to tell me he hasnt met or been with anyone else, why would he tell me that! im not sure if he means it that he dont love or want to be with me< is it because hee wants his family back who knows also my daughter told him that she couldnt careless if he came back or not too, has he said all this to hurt and punish me because he wants to come back to his family or he reallys means it or was it a bad reaction to the fact he thinks im moving forward without him, HE HASNT GOT TO ME IM GOING TO GIVE MY KIDS A GREAT XMAS like you said hopefully with your advice and blog i will reunite my family back, HE ALSOSAID HE LEFT BECAUSE HE SAID I USED HIM AS A BANK CARD, a taxi and treated him ike a second class citizan all i ever did was put our family first, have a great new year and thanks :0)im a surviver!!!
@ lisa:
Don’t over think things.
Just send the recommended NC message word for word…no changes.
After that follow the rest of the steps in the free plan, and focus on your own personal evolution.
Do not look too far ahead…focus on making it through each day, one at a time.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
ok i wrote you the other day abbout the ex and you told me use the no contact
but i guess i went alittle to far..lol..i told him i was going to date other men because i was tired of the head games
bad move?
He said NOTHING just went home..
robin wrote:
Hi Robin,
I told you to follow the free plan.
If you have a proven plan to follow you don’t need to improvise.
This plan works best if you control your emotions and follow all the steps.
When he contacts you again…send him the recommended NC message in the free plan…no changes, OK?
Stay Strong!
S.W.
iv sent the recommended nc again and he through a strop and said he has clled barred me and our kids numbers and that we can text and call all we liked he wouldnt get them, Well all i can say is our kids means nothing and it has shown himself to be very messed up, well after all this im not sure if is the man i wont back in my life for shutting our kids out , thank you for the time you given me this has made me meore impowerewd and strong that i can go on with or with out him and thank to the site and blog my life is sweet i miss him but do i want him back after all this, i will carry on with nc and see what happens thank again if you can give me some advice why he reacted like this would be cool!!!!! you have helped me and to reevaluate my life and i like the person i found in myself!
have a great new year xx i sure will! why did it react that wayxx
lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
He is pissed off because you have taken back control, and he will try every trick he can think of to get it back, by making you break no contact again.
Don’t fall for his tricks.
You need to follow the rest of the steps in the free plan, sending the NC is only the beginning.
If you don’t follow the rest of the steps, and use the free support tools, you are bound to fail yet again.
Get smart, and use the free tools.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hey sctt now he’s bein gone without a tract for two days an didn’t answer if he has somebody else do I send the breakup nc or the one for relationship limbo nc thanx
natalie10 wrote:
If you broke up, then send the recommended NC message for that situation.
If you were just taking a break and never officially broke up use that version.
The free plan explains it all for you…go read it, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
hi happy holidays !!!! my husband sent me texts saying things like i dont care wot you do you have met someone else ” i havent” and that he wants a divorce and thats all, and that was on xmas day he ignored his children xmas day when they called wouldnt speak or see them, BUT I IGNORED THE TEXTS, EVEN THOUGH THE TEMPTATION WAS THERE, for upsetting them by not seeing them. he spent xmas day all on his own then sent that text last night, why be so cruel, if he didnt give a stuff y say i dont care what i did or do in all the texts very strange! but im getting strongerby the day xx ant advice on y he reacted like that would be a god insight, have a great new year!!!!! is he struggling and pissed off that he left and now missing what he could of had esp christmas time who knows but i am sticking to the plan!!!!
lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
You got it!
You have heard of the saying: “cut off your nose just to spite your face”.
That’s what he did, and now he is realizing it…give him time, and be patient.
This marks the beginning of his personal evolution.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hi,
I was in a relationship for about a year before we were forced to go “long distance”… it wasn’t easy but as far as I was concerned we were both happy. After a quick argument one night, he suddenly broke up with me thinking that he had been “suppressing his true feelings” which were no longer romantic. I was completely devastated, but what was worse was that we had spent thousands of dollars in plane tickets to see each other.
I went two weeks later, and we slept together, and acted the same way but his decision would not budge. He claims I am his best friend, the most important person in his life and that he desperately needs me. After torturing myself trying to be his friend for a month I decided to send him a no-contact message. It has been 2 weeks, and in one week I will be in his town (staying in a hotel, and seeing some friends of my there). He knows I will be there, and I am pretty sure he will call me.
I am certain, however, that I cannot be just friends with the person who I am in love with. So if and when he calls and asks to see me, what should I do, and how should I act to get him back. I feel like this time may be the last chance I have.
Thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it… Happy holidays!
Lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
What is a no contact message?
Did you use the one recommended in the free plan on my Blog?
Have you read, and followed all the steps in the free plan?
There is a lot more to this process than just sending a NC message…especially if you didn’t send the right kind.
He is looking to have his cake and eat it too…good for him, bad for you.
What are you willing to do about it?
Go read the whole free plan, and then start over and follow every step, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
P.S. 3 weeks is never enough time-this process is about getting your life back first, and you don’t sound like you have yours back yet…you’re still addicted to your ex. Follow the free plan.
Hi scott I want a thumbs up off you I think I’ve done some good evolving I’ve realised why my relationship went wrong its becoz I never got over my other exs death so I’ve got intouch with some old friends I lost wen that occurred an they r goin help get confident like my old self its all about me not my current ex nc will keep him in check coz I’m goin be that strong women he fell for not a doormat wat do u think to this scott
natalie10 wrote:
Great Job Natalie! (Thumbs High) :-)
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hey
Ive read your step by step guid to Getting your ex back and I was just wondering if I just start the NC rule without informing him of my plans, will it still have the same affect? Its been two weeks to the day since we broke up. Until yesterday we were in contact, even hanging out my ex and I, I then nagged and let my emotions explode and now Ive just stoped talking to him and same friends. Will the NC have the same affect if I just stop contact?
Hi Scott
I am doing so much better. I am learning so much more about my self. THANK YOU!!!
Question: Does the plan only work if i make contact after nc or can i be patient and see if my ex makes contact? Was not sure becaue NC says that I will contact him when I am ready maybe he will just wait for me to reconnect..
Please advise.
Kathy wrote:
Hi kathy,
No…it won’t, that’s why it is a crucial part of the free plan.
Take Care,
S.W.
copy wrote:
Hi Copy,
The reconnection process can be either started by you, or you can wait until your ex contacts you…it’s your choice.
The real thing to focus on is when you are ready.
If your ex tries to reconnect before you are ready…you should not respond.
In 99.9999% of the cases you will evolve faster than they will, so when they try to contact you before you’re ready, it is because they want you to break NC and get back in the “just friends” zone again.
Just like you worry about NC and want to break it…so will they, don’t let it happen you’re in control, OK?
Do not worry about reconnection…focus on your personal evolution.
You’re desire to look too far ahead shows that your personal evolution is far from complete.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
I’ve been in no contact with my ex for over three weeks, I still need to send him the nc message to make it work? It may seem like i’m just doing it to make him break it.
Laura wrote:
Hi Laura,
You HAVE NOT been in no contact if you didn’t send the recommended no contact (word for word)…you just stopped contacting your ex…big difference.
It is amazing what you will learn by reading.
Take Care,
S.W.
Go read the entire free plan, OK?
hi s.w he finally came round to see the children day after boxing day then said he couldnt have the kids new years eve ” knew it was coming” as he was gpoing out” HE WASNT” AS HE HAS NT BEEN OUT FOTR YEARS HE SAID i always go out then he said will it stop you going out i said no! then he texting our daughter to say it okay i will cancel, see is game didnt work as i never responding its brilliant its really geting to him, he also said he wants a divorce hes not comimg back and he dont care what i get up to or who with ” WELL HE OBVIOUSLY DOES” THEN SAID I HAD TO PAY FOR THE DIVORCE CUZ HE CANT AFFORD IT, its him who wants one not me so why should i file< im guessing he doesnt really want and hates me getting on with things ane having a life with out him!!! and using our children to get at me now as im not responding! so thanks for alladvice and tips ans the free tools im geeting it ! what do you think xx happy new year!!! lisa :0)
lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
Yes, I think you are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Now stick to the plan, and that light will get bigger and brighter as you move closer to it, and your happy ending.
Great Job Lisa! (Thumbs High)
Stay Strong!
S.W.
hi s.w he rang me today to discuss arrangments for him to pick up children and money for their new school uniform, then he started ranting a raving on if i dont go out so much i would have money and that im always out yes which i am entilteld to now and having fun as im not going to mop about, i so wanted to say its nome of your buisness what i get up to and when and where and who with but i didnt and he started sayiny i needed to be more careful wityh money and how he hasnt got any , he left his doing he put himself there not me like it says in the blog and yourself i calmly said bye and put the phone down because of that do i send th e nc again, why does he have such big issues with me being out! i think its getrting to him and wished hed never left he wont admit to that but that makes me feel good that hes bothered when he says hes not!!! im so in controll im glad its getting to him!!!! hapy new year ;0)
lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
You have to discuss matters about your children with him, as long as you keep it all about business (your children) there is no need to send another NC message.
Great Job Lisa! (Thumbs High)
Stay Strong!
S.W.
P.S. You should consider joining our forum for even better support from your peers.
i certanly will use the forum!!!! he has over stepped the mark this time, he told my children through text that he doesnt love mr anymore and that thyey need to understand that and this is the same guy who said he wouldnt pick our children up untill 11.30pm so i cant go out? then says he doesnt give a shit abt me and still wants me to divorce him! i dont get him what he is playing at, why tell our kids that ? well all i can say is he is very green eyed monster and hates that im havin the time of my life or he really doesnt care or love me, im sticking to the nc regardless !!!!!!!! if some insight on why he is behaving in such a manner would be good, THANKS S.W;0)
lisa wrote:
What does a child (and most adults) do when they don’t get their way?
They throw a fit, and act like little babies.
hi there! he is now picking the children up early,but did tell the kids that he couldnt careless what i do because he know longer loves me, im getting sick of him telling my children that through text message, They are getting pretty sick of it to, they tell him when iv been out and stuffand that they want to see him more and thats how he responds, SO THE children are not going to tell about my personal life, thet thought they were helping,but only wants to know what they have been up to thats it, Finding all very bizarre! either he does or he doesnt,im thinking he does care and love me but wont do anything about it and to tell our children that stinks! im going into enjoy my new years in the uk and enjoy yours heres to 2010!!
lisa wrote:
I am with you Lisa…
Here’s to A Great 2010!
Stay Strong!
hi s.w hey there ! he so not happy he thinks iv beenlying to him “i havent” when i was out new yearts eve and he had our daughter he wasnt happy sd i was a lier for going out but i never said a word so he told our daughter to tell he doesnt want to speak to her agn and no wonder dont love her !! so my daughter was so upset by this she told him i wasnt lying and he was just ftying to find excuses not to luv me and there isnt any, well as things go he text our daughter and said he needed time to think about things and he cant when she keeps txting him, IS THAT A GOOD SIGN OF THINGS TO COME? WELL I HOPE SO but im not going to get in touch im sticking to my guns xx what do you think!:0) XX
lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
These are signs of his struggle with his own personal evolution…he is beginning to change.
Stick to your guns, and consider joining our forum for more personal support from people just like you going through NC too.
Make sure you read the free plan first, and understand the steps to follow before you attempt to join our forum.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
I have started NC. And ya know I am much happier,He had put me in the FRIENDS ZONE while he would go out skirt chasing!
But now I have the control! He can no longer mess with my head weather we ever get back together or not It’s ok.Because I am not letting him control me! And I have my life back!
robin wrote:
Great Job Robin! (Thumbs High)
Stay Strong!
hi! this is the first time i leave a post here, and english is not my first language, so i’ll try to make my point to get an answer :D.
my ex boyfriend and i broke up about 2 months ago, it was a mutual desicion and we also agreed to stay friends and went out two times “as friends” after that, on those dates it was just like if we were still boyfriend and girlfriend “in all aspects”, besides, we talked on the phone everyday (he was the one who called mostly) and all of this got me confused, -i really think hi still loves me, we beroke up because we fought to much and he like, can’t stand fights, he’s too sensitive and gets very affected (to me fights are more some sort of catharsys, after fights i feel lighter) but we really love each other and when we don’t fight everything is sooooooo perfect, for both os us-; so today i told him that we shouldn’t see or talk to each other anymore cuz i get confused by all this and he agreed and said the what he least wanted was to hurt me or make me feel bad in any way so he thought it was best not to see each other anymore untill we could be toghether without having feelings for one another. So now my question is: what kind of “no contact note” should i write to him, since we both agreed no to see each other anymore? the notes on the book were about agreeing on what he said on stopping contact, but what if we both got to that conclusion toghether?. I really need the help, thanx!!
patty.w wrote:
Hi Patty,
If you read the entire free plan (all the links too) you will find a perfect NC message to send.
I could tell you right here and now…but if you’re serious about solving your own problem you will take the time to find the answer yourself.
It’s waiting in the free plan…go find it.
Take Care,
S.W.
hi!!, i’ve read the free plan and the other articles, really, i tried getting the answer myself before asking you, but the part i still have doubts about is: “I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time”. Should I put that part if we both agreed not to contact? wouldn’t it be redundant?. I’m sorry i know i seem too dumb or something, but i really want to do this right. Thank you sooo much!
patty.w wrote:
Hi Patty,
That is the most important part of the message since it is a no contact message.
Don’t worry about being redundant…just send it word for word.
Do not over think a simple plan.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
hi s.w my ex is coming over today to see the kids hasnt told me he doing that told them, the only thing is imslightly greading it because he told the kids that he doesnt love me and its over for good. THEY KEEP ASKING HIM TO COME HOME and stuff , and he got fed up with it and said its soul desstroying that thy keep asking and may no havr contact again for them to also move on with out him, why a dad would say that is awful, and i actually called him my ex i used to find that hard, as we havnt spoken and he said he wouldnt come round the house again and then he is in very confused waht do you think i hope hes not playing games<, THE FORUM IS GREAT!!! how do i react around him because im think hes coming round to put the kids straight on thing and upset me and them in the process i wont let it show why else would he be coming round because he never does !!!! :0)
lisa wrote:
Hi Lisa,
Just let him say what he wants to say, and don’t say anything.
Let him dig his own grave, just stay out of his way.
It should be pretty apparent by now to you and your kids that he is full of shit.
He came for a show, but don’t give him one…tell your kids the same thing…daddy is acting like an idiot, just ignore him until he gets over it.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
hi sw ! he didnt kick off or anything very strange when he told the kids that he wasnt going to be contacting them anymore he was pleasent and just said ti thenm stop sending spiteful texts that was it! so hes gone from being very angry man to someone who was nice today,then said he will text them tomorrow, what the hell is going on! we never talked about us or anything or the fact i sent an nc, We spoke but only small talk and the kids, i think he wanted me to ask about is night out but i didnt,IS That a good sign because you dont change over nighrt when he was angry and been angry and slagging me off to the kids saying he didnt love me anymore and he didnt want to speak or see me ever again very strange indeed, :0)
lisa wrote:
Great News!
It sounds like he is personally evolving…give him time.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
thank you so much for such a quick reply!!
patty.w wrote:
You’re Welcome!
Good Support is what this Blog is all about.
hi s.w i v just sent my ex the no contact again, think is he came round to “talk” which ended in him saying he doesnt love me he isnt taking me back and all he wants is a divorce, and put all the blame on me for our relationship breakup,A and said i couldnt of been upset when he left because i go out every weekend havin fun, then said he didnt care what i did or do, THEN got my daughter involved bt y tellig her he hates me, he didnt give a flying fuck if i got knocked over by a bus and also told her that if she rings or text him again he wouldnt see her anymore ” how childish” then he sent me a sarcy text saying ” this is the last text from me calling me a liar and vicious and i have moved on from you,i hope i never see you againdo not contact me again< i dont as i put the nc in place but our kids do and i have caused this by not listening, and that i hope i was happy sending the kids to do my dirty work" i havent, i have never bad mouthed him or anything in front of the kids been very good about it when i could easily make the kids resent him but im not like that, hes doing it all himself, but he did say to me if i dont do this and that i wouldnt see him again blackmail and he says it to our kids to, even after all this even when he said not to contact him again i only ever about the kids nothing else like you said in the blog, even though he said all these things and sent the nc again, was the right think to do an what do you think his game is? he did ask our daughter who this guy was who liked me, My daughter told him and that i wasnt interested, which im not i need time for me, THEN AGAIN SAID HE COUDNT CARE LESS, any insight would be great because i dont see what he thinking and feeling apart from he cant stand me hates me et etc < hope you had a good hoiliday season. ;0)
lisa wrote:
Re-send the recommended NC message and follow the plan, you might think about using our forum for support.
Before you join or post in our forum make sure you have read the rules and guidelines and you understand them.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
dear scott,
Hello!
My boyfriend of 4 yrs broke up with me…
i ask him twice if he has a new gf he said…
Yes, 2 weeks..i think he is in the rebound
because after the break up i’ve done all the mistakes
text terrorism,begging etc…
QUESTION 1: IS HE REALLY ON THE REBOUND?
I cried when he confirmed that he has a new gf
and he cried also very hard(w/c doubled my pain)…
he said the reason why he broke up with me
is for me..he wants me to finish my study with medal,
If I graduate he said he will feel that he finish
his studies too..we are turning 22 this year,
we are in college, he is afraid I will become
pregnant and cannot continue my study..because
we are having sex for 6 months b4 we broke up,we are both in college.
We go to diffrent school, his new gf is his classmate.
QUESTION 2: why he is not giving me information about the girl when i ask about the girl’s name etc?
is he guarding her?or he is concerned to me?
we both cried hard that night..and he said it is so
very hard…more than 4 yrs were together.
He embraced me and cried,
He said he will not change his number, we can still talk,
and I can come back after I graduate.
After the talk, we ate on a resto and he is staring at me
and he touched my face, and telling me
do not cry anymore, take care of myself.
I KNOW THE NO CONTACT RULE NOW..but my 3rd question is
HOW GREAT IS MY CHANCE OF GETTING HIM BACK,
BECAUSE HIS REBOUND OR NEW GF IS HIS CLASSMATE
SCOTT,thanks for all the articles you have posted.
sorry it is to long.but I need everything to be answered.
Thanks scott!
-marie
dear scott,
I have already send him a NC message
but broke it, because
one of my friend texted me that he
saw my boyfriend(because they didn’t know we broke up)
with a girl on his
motorbike…
I broke the nc by asking my bf not
to go on that mall atleast for 2 months with that
girl because many of
my friends are going on there and i hate
explaining myself why we broke up, and
nobody knows we broke up except his family
he said ok, they will never go there.
I ask how was their date,
he replied and ask where am I,
I dont asnwer he said if im okei,
i said im okei, i asked are u happy?
he said he was happy
(
should i take him back if he is already happy?
how long his rebound will last?
thnks scott
I need your guidance,
AND lastly… we planned that
we will celebrate his bday on feb 12,
I asked him if we will continue the plan
he said, it’s up to me…
should i cancel it?
(im stupid ryt?):(
i have not responded to my ex boyfriend’s attempts to ring and text me over the past 3 months. He has a girlfriend still. He has been asking if we can talk and meet for a coffee and he loves me still. I have not responded. I am still feeling angry and heart broken so I have remained quiet while i decide what to do. I am going on holiday this week for 3 weeks and I feel strongly that I could talk to him clamly when I return but not before. He sent me an email the other day and i responded today saying ” I am going away for a few weeks we can speak when I get back”. he has not yet replied. Have i totally messed up?
marie wrote:
Hi,
I don’t answer questions like that, especially the kind that require a mind reader to answer, understand?
I offer a free plan, go follow it, or keep looking until you find the help you need, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
gilly wrote:
Have you been following the free plan?
gilly wrote:
If you were following the free plan, and correctly using NC you messed up.
If you haven’t been following the free plan, start now, the link is at the top of my Blog.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi,
yes ive been following the free plan closely and now feeling like im able to try and reconnect with him. I am now willing to talk with him as he wishes. I would like to reconnect (and meet to talk over coffee as he suggested) BUT as I am going away on holiday tomorrow for a few wks I would prefer to meet and talk etc when I return and do it properly. That is why I decided to reply to his email today and say “i am going away for a few weeks-we can speak when i get back”. your free plan has got me to this reconnection stage and has worked great-its just a shame he wants to meet and talk when im off now on holiday. i just dont want to blow my chance to talk and im worried ive blown it by letting him know what im doing for the following few weeks. maybe ive killed the attraction now ive finally spoken up and agreed to talk? maybe hell loose interest knowing im not around? any advice or reassurance would be so appreciated
thank you for all your words of advice and support!
gilly wrote:
Do you have the book The Magic of Making up?
You need to read chapter 6 to learn everything you need to do during the reconnection phase.
If you don’t have this book I highly suggest you get it and read it while you’re on holiday.
gilly wrote:
As long as you didn’t have a long personal chat with your ex, you are still in good shape.
The point being if you catch up through, chat, email, or text…why would he want to meet face to face…understand?
He will be curious about what you have been up, and that is the attraction to meet and talk.
You really need to prepare by reading chapter 6 in the book The Magic of Making up…you don’t want to fall into premature reconciliation.
This holiday gives you the perfect time to read about, and learn what you need to do when you come back.
Take Care,
S.W.