How Do I Get My Ex Back Now?

You made every mistake after the break up. Now you’re wondering “how do I get my ex back now?” I can help you no matter how many mistakes you’ve made. Don’t worry about the mistakes, that is the past. Everyone makes these mistakes, but not everyone knows what to do after that…I will tell you, OK?

How Do I Get My Ex Back After All The Mistakes?”

The first thing you need to do is calm down. Believe me when I say it is still possible to win back the love of your ex. In fact they still do love you, love just doesn’t disappear. Remember that love doesn’t turn on and off like a water valve. People can say they don’t love you, but that doesn’t make it the truth. “So, if they still love me why did my ex say something like that?”

The reason they said that is because you were begging, and pushing them for a reason for the break up. They had to tell you something to get you to stop, right? Once you stop thinking it is true, you will come to realize why they said it in the first place. If you want to get your ex back you have to believe that you can, because they still love you. No matter how many mistakes you made, and what they might’ve said to you.

OK, So How Do I Get My Ex Back?”

The first thing you need to do is send an effective no contact message. How will you know what to write? I will tell you, OK? A good no contact message needs to be direct, and emotionless. This is a great example of an effective no contact message:

I agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.

This will turn the tables on your situation and flip your ex’s switch. You just went from needy, begging, and heart broken, to confident, and in charge…you have some big decisions to make. After you send that message stick to the no contact rule. If possible find a good plan to follow that will help you personally evolve during your no contact period. “How do I get my ex back now?” You stop begging, and take back control of your situation.

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008 to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free plan to get your ex back fast, and start getting your life back today. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.

Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.

If this article was useful or helpful to you in anyway, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.

154 Comments

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  1. Hi,first i want to offer my special thanks to dear S.W.YOU are just a real coach i asked Goddy to send me in this situation. my ex and I were lovers for more than 2 years,everything were going well but some small arguments which were over without the real cause of it be solved. little by little these unsolved small problems made me sooooo angry to the boiling point. till then i was like an angel who appreciated him, understood his situations,loved him but suddenly i turned to a nagging girl and said i want to break up on and on, but he didn take me serious. until i messaged him all my angry words in purpose to hurt him as a revenge for my hurt feelings 🙁 after that he replied OK EVERYTHING IS OVER!!!!! i told him i am sorry i really didn mean that i was js angry with his not paying attention to me.I massaged him 10 times and called him several but no reply!!!!!!!(and i didnt contact him anymore) it is now 4 days and i wonder if he really meant a break up or he will come back soon after become calm.i want to add that these days he is really busy and i think he will think over our argument later and find it an ordinary one and will contact me. we were planning to marry. he always told me that I am the only girl he does not have problem with. but his sudden decision is somehow strange for me! I want to know if NC massage is a good idea in my case?what should i do now??

    tnx beforehand dear S.W.

    1. Hi,

      It seems like these “unsolved small problems” need to be addressed, and if you keep sweeping these problems under the rug it will eventually lead to the end of your relationship completely.

      A break up is the end of one phase of a relationship, and possibly the beginning of the next phase…if it was meant to be.

      I think using the no contact rule to reveal his true feelings would be a great idea, just use the NC message agreeing to his decision to break up.

      The words: “OK EVERYTHING IS OVER!!!!!” says breakup to me.

      Don’t worry, life is one long evolution, and change is inevitable.

      If you learn to “grow” with the changes, and you will find your true happiness.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get your man back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  2. I was dating my boyfriend for 9 months. I was told that not most high school relationships lasts forever. But from out of the blue he told me that it was over.He felt as if the relationship was too long for him and that I deserve someone better(Also mentioning we had nothing in common). I have tried the NC rule and avoided him. Buts its not working! Is there any hope for getting an ex-bf back? It’s been 4 days and i miss him so much! Please help!

    1. Hanna says:

      I have tried the NC rule and avoided him. Buts its not working!

      Hi,

      That is NOT how you correctly use the no contact rule to reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings.

      That’s why you feel like it is not working.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  3. WAIT. You’re right. I shouldn’t be caring about what HE is doing or what HE is thinking. I should only care about myself…correct? Only fix myself and move on from this failed relationship?

    I think I know what I should be doing, but I always have thoughts of him and our good times. Do you know how I can try to forget this? It’s just that no matter what I do, something always has to remind me of him! even unconsciously. 🙁

    Thanks for all your help, I’m sorry for the bother. I appreciate your time and advice though.

    1. Hi,

      Using the no contact rule correctly will help you evolve past the break up, and move on from the old failed relationship.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back fast, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  4. Wouldn’t he think it would be weird, since we have already been not having contact for a long time now?

  5. Sorry I meant effective, instead of affected*

  6. Hi, I really don’t know how to start to get my life back…It’s been about 3 months since my break up with my ex boyfriend and 2 months since we last talked. I sent a NC message before I came to your site. It was similar, but I added that we should be friends in the future…

    I made plenty of mistakes during our break up and begged/cried in front of him and I think my NC message wasn’t as affected as it could have been. It’s too late now to send another one, because he has a new girlfriend…I thought it could be a rebound

    Do you have any tips on getting over this break up?! Or getting him to at least talk to me? It’s been a while and he hasn’t even tried talking to me…I feel like I wasted my time being with him as a couple and now he just doesn’t even seem to care for me. I’m not crying anymore, but I really need some advice on how to get him out of my head or to stop feeling jealous about his new relationship.

    I just feel pathetic because I miss him so much but at the same time I want to get over it. I haven’t talked to him in almost 3 months now it’s still hard for me to see him move on and not even try to contact me…I don’t know…

    What do you think? I’ve already looked at your plan and everything else on this site! Thank you very much for your help.

    1. Hi,

      Looking at my site isn’t the same as following the free plan.

      If you want to get your life back quickly you need to use the no contact rule correctly.

      It is never too late to send the recommended NC message, why?

      Because this is about starting your personal evolution, not getting your ex back.

      It doesn’t matter what he is doing.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      If you want my advice, I say to send the right NC message, and get your personal evolution started ASAP.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  7. hello
    i never thiuth i would write to u.
    i think i would never have the chance again i think i screwd up after 6 years of being together he left from the home we where living together i started begging crying its 2 months know and i am still doing this…
    i cant stop i miss him so much my life has falling apart i lost my job i lost alot of pounds i even tried to kill my self im so depressed i feel like im helpless…

    1. Hi,

      If you are suicidal please go seek professional psychological counseling immediately.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  8. Its been about 6 days i havnt contacted her should i still find a way to send the NC message should i send a letter by post

    And if i follow the free plan will my life be bavk on track with my ex girlfriend 🙂

    1. Hi,

      Yes, you need to send the recommended NC message as outlined in the plan.

      If you follow the free plan to get your ex back correctly, you have a 50/50 chance of starting a new relationship with your ex girlfriend, and a 100% chance of getting your life back.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  9. Hi scott

    Me and my girlfriend of 4 years broke up about one month ago i did all the mistakes i called her over 100 times aday messged her like 80 times a day ,rocking up to her house at all times of the night doing all crazy shit this went on for about 2weeks so i decided to leave her alone for a while but while i was leaving her alone i was getting incontact with her friends to see if she is alright and how she was doing i ended up braking after 10 days so i went to her house with a box of flowers and a love letter i made she wasnt happy she sent me a message “u think a buch of flowers and a letter some1 else rote for you is gnna make me take you back..pffft its to late… and stop fukin cuming to my house you stalker ….and stop fukin annoying my mates they dont want to get involved so just stop..move on with your life grow up coz i will be”

    I had replied to that message “look im not stalking you i just wanted to give u that letter that i rote coz it was from my heart …the only reason i contacted your friends was to try help us out because it seems your friends have a big influence on u to keep you away from me but if thats what makes you happy to not talk to me and not contact me after a 4 year realationship then so be it.. But as i sed in the letter ull always have a place in my heartand never ever be scared to contact me koz im always here fot you … Just remember i cared when nobody else did and if some1did
    i cared more”

    I have noway of getting incontact now she has changed her number on me she also sed when we first broke up that shes much happier being single that shes free she dosnt have me on her back that she dosnt want a future with me the reason i think she broke up with me was kozz she sed i wasnt treating her right i was always angry at her shes also sed that i have changed im not the same anymore.

    Im just confuzed i dont no whatvto do please help i miss her and really want her back 🙁

    1. Hi,

      There is always some way to get your NC message to her if you’re really serious about following the plan.

      I help people get their lives back, not get your ex girlfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  10. Hi, My long distance girlfriend called it off with me one week ago. This was quite shocking for me since it was only two weeks ago that she had booked flights to come and spend a weekend with me mid-way through May. What also surprised me during the breakup call is that she said she will still be coming over for the trip and will be staying with her cousin(same town that I live in). She said that she is scared to spend that weekend with me for fear of being horrible to me, since she feels the distance and time issues are too much now for the relationship to succeed.(We both live in the UK – 1 hour flight)

    We had been seeing each other since meeting in my home town on Xmas 2010 and while the distance was tough for us both she had mentioned about making future plans with possibly moving away together etc.
    During the breakup call I did mention that we had the chance to retrace some locations where we first met/first dates which made her feel sad/depressed. Should I try and use these emotions again?

    I accepted her withdrawl and said I respect her decision. She said that we couldn’t not meet up when she visits in May. Since the call I didn’t make any sort of contact until yesterday. She sent me a text hoping i was ok and having a great weekend. I responded later that day with a similar text and that was all. I don’t understand why she told me that she missed me/thinks i’m the best thing that happened to her etc on the phone and then breaks up with me after she had booked flights to come and spend time with me!

    How do I handle this for the next two weeks before she comes over? I would like to make her aware that I would also like to move to a different location with her but I don’t think she thought I was very serious about that possibility. Obviously I don’t have time on my side in this situation since its a distance thing and I probably won’t see her again after her May visit. How does no contact help me here?

    I already know my girlfriends cousin and she is trying to help me take the right path.

    Edit – I didn’t initiate any contact with her after the breakup…only responded to her text.

    1. Hi,

      If you try to win your ex back in the next 2 weeks you will only make things worse…believe me.

      Forget about trying to get her back when she comes to your area.

      I suggest you stop scheming about how to get your ex girlfriend back, and use the no contact rule to evolve past the break up and get your life back again.

      I help people get their lives back, not get their ex girlfriends back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  11. Hey Scott,

    Sent that NC message word for word.
    Thanks for the advice 🙂

    1. You’re Welcome! 🙂

  12. Made every mistake possible except for ex sex. I initiated the break up since he was emotionally distant and was finding excuses to fight about anything and eveything, but I never meant it i guess I just wanted to go back to how we used to be. I said it was my final decision. However, the next day I went back to find out he made a decision to move on after our serious 2 1/2 yrs together plus marriage talks. he’s 28 I’m 26. He said he felt trapped, wanted his freedom, not feeling it anymore, dont want a commitment, wants to find someone better, called me a liability – funny that considering I took up a crappt job and put my degree aside to support us financially for 8 effn months while all he did was play video games argh :'( !! It’s been 3 months since the breakup. I’ve done all the begging n pleading. Sent a NC text msg a month ago, broke it in 2 weeks. Pushed to reconcile again and again – epic fail lol. He said he doesn’t want to meet up or talk or txt or anything anymore. He said he liked another woman and was considering a long term relationship with her….(yeah goodluck with that peter pan) lol. I handled It calmly. He Wished me all the best 3 weeks ago and since that day, i havent contacted him. I probably should have sent another NC msg to get that power back, but didn’t, I forgot about it. It was my bday on the 12th, he text me: happy birthday karma. I wish you nothing but the best in life. Be yourself and be happy. Take care and god bless. I txt back the next day “thank you”. Been a week now.

    Should I send another NC msg? How do I word it? He doesn’t contact me anyway. Your thoughts Scott? Yes this time I’m gonna follow the plan seriously and not confuse myself and give into weak moments.

    1. karma says:

      Should I send another NC msg? How do I word it? He doesn’t contact me anyway. Your thoughts Scott? Yes this time I’m gonna follow the plan seriously and not confuse myself and give into weak moments.

      Hi,

      Use the recommended no contact message as outlined in the free plan…word for word.

      It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t contacted you, this is in-case he thinks about contacting you in the future, he needs to know where you stand without a doubt, make sense?

      There is a reason I help people get their lives back and not to get their ex boyfriends back, and I explain it in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  13. I am so distraught and heartbroken. My friend who I was corresponding and seeing off and on for 20 years broke it off with me and wanted to remain friends with me ” with or without sex”. For the past 6 months he and I exchanged letters and sexy pictures( we’re a a distance from each other) almost 10 times a day. We met in Vermont and had a fantastic time, sex was unbelievable! Then we met in Florida and sex was wonderful .We brought each other tons of things as presents to one another. We hugged what felt like 5 minutes at the airport. I did sex acts for Jim that his ex wives never did for him. But when I returned his emails were very neutral and didn’t respond hardly at all. He said it was a mistake to send those sexy pictures and emails and ” sorry for the confusion ” and will write about anything else. Now we were doing this for over 6 months already. He said the next time we could meet is 6 months from now in another part of the country. He said ” don’t get me wrong , the sex was great”. But he haid ” what has happened i was afraid would happen”. I was always affectionate, totally respectful and appreciative of him. I wrote to him telling me I felt like he was pushing me away. He said he wasn’t pushing but he wont write fantasies or exchange pics with me anymore. I asked him if he has a girlfriend and he said no and he wasn’t even looking for one until and doesn’t want a commited relationship until his son graduates from HS( in about 4 years) . my confusion lies with he constantly emailed me, and now nothing! When I said I could fly up to his area sooner than 6 months, he told me he was so busy until October, and we would have to abhor for that time. I am de aster! He emotionally and physically pulled away overnight. We had a marvelous time on our last trip, I don’t understand it!!! I had to start no contact for myself for 2 days already. Of course he didn’t write to be back before NC! I just cry all day long! What’s going on? Will NC help me to write to be back? Please help.

    1. Hi,

      I help people get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The answers do not lie in the past, they are waiting for you once you begin your personal evolution.

      Using the no contact rule correctly will not only help you get your life back, but it will also reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings for you as well.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  14. Hey Scott

    In January my ex boyfriend broke up with me and we were broken up for about a month. We then tried to work things out again but ended up breaking up again about a week ago. We were engaged and together for about 2 years. I feel like I broke all the rules like it says in this blog and my ex told me that he doesn’t love me anymore and a lot of other hurtful things. They keep replaying in my head and I cant stop thinking about what I could have done to make this work. We were so in love and were inseparable. I don’t know how he could tell me all these hurtful things after all we have been through. He did not answer any of my calls and it seems he is doing his own thing now days. I really want him back and I really thought we were meant to be. I sent the NC message yesterday and I also bought the Magic of Making up ebook. Your site really helps dealing with the break up but I’m just worried about my ex finding someone new and liking life more without me in it. I am going to go through with the plan though. I”m trying to really be positive in this working! Just thought you could give me a little more hope in this working out.

    Thanks!

    1. Ariel says:

      I’m just worried about my ex finding someone new and liking life more without me in it.

      Hi,

      You have a 50/50 chance of getting your ex back, which gets better everyday you stop chasing him, and start doing things right.

      Your ex boyfriend could not just fall out of love with you like that, 2 years and an engagement doesn’t just disappear, but you have to stop panicking, and let the old relationship go…it wasn’t working, that’s why it ended.

      You need to stop trying to prevent the break up, leave your ex alone, and work on pulling yourself back together (get your life back).

      I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s.

      I explain this in more detail in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Let go of the old relationship, have faith in true love, work on getting your life back, and you will be happy again…I promise!

      No one wants to be in a relationship with a desperate, needy, insecure person.

      You can not attract love that way…make sense?

      Go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  15. Hey there,

    I just wanted to thank you for all of the advice, but after seeing him today for the last time, I realize that I no longer have any interest in rekindling that relationship.

    I was just suffering from a broken heart, that I now know I don’t have.

    I have some exciting prospects on the horizon now, starting with dinner tonight. Can’t wait!

    1. Marie says:

      I just wanted to thank you for all of the advice

      You’re Welcome!

      Good Luck with everything! 🙂

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  16. And if I was wrong. What should I do now?

  17. Me and my ex been doing pretty good so far, but we kinda got into an argument after she brought up how hard it is to please two people(me and the new guy) and keeps on setting boundaries on what we can do. For example, all of a sudden,no kissing and cuddling. Her excuse is that it might confuse her and make things harder.This has to be the the 3rd time this week alone that shes brought this up nd it really pissed me off. How can we move forward if you’re constantly worried about someone else? How can we make progress if you’re holding back? Everytime we get together and enjoy ourself, its like she feels bad about it when its all over. She says it because she doesnt want to hurt anybodys feelings. I feel like if she really wants us to work and loves me like she claims then she should have no problem focusing on me. Im not even asking for a relationship. I planned on waiting a few more weeks before we talked about focusing on each other. But since the problem continued to arise, i told her that she needs to make a decision now. Was I wrong?

    1. Hi,

      It sounds like she is having fun pulling on your chain, don’t wait for her to make a decision, since you are NOT happy, break it off, and start NC to evolve past the break up.

      This will get you out of her little game, and reveal her true feelings for you.

      Stop chasing her, and let her focus full time on this other guy.

      Go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  18. T says:

    Shall I just reply his text? Or I should just ignore him.

    Hi,

    Two weeks is NOT enough time, figure on about 4-6 months (or more) to really see the best results from no contact.

    With that being said, just ignore his obvious attempt to “test the waters”, and stick to NC.

    Make sure you are following ALL the steps in the free plan.

    Thank you for writing.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

    1. Thanks,
      I think I need to start it over again. He said he is now ready to talk about what happened when he broke up with me. I shouldn’t open up the door for him too soon!
      Anyway It has been only 2 weeks NC process but I feel so much stronger and I don’t really care how the relationship with him turn up anymore. I am ready for anything. I can live without him for sure 🙂 Thank you again for bring me back alive.

  19. Hi,
    I have been following no contact rule, and have been moving on my life since I sent him NC message 2 weeks ago. I am getting better and feel good about myself even more. Today I got a text from my ex ” I hope you are OK? It is strange here ATM” I don’t really know what does he want? Shall I just reply his text? Or I should just ignore him.

    Thanks
    T

  20. P.S. How do I keep from having small talk with him if he begins to ask me about how I am or what I’ve been up to? How can I keep the conversations strictly about business without being rude or immature?

    1. Hi,

      This is covered in the free plan, read it for more ideas.

      Just tell him; “I do not want to talk about any of this right now, let’s just focus on the exchange and be on our way”.

      If he doesn’t respect your wish to avoid certain subjects, then he becomes the “rude immature” one, right?

      Always be polite, until you are not allowed to be polite anymore, if he insists on forcing the issue then just grab your stuff, say “goodbye” and leave.

      Once you get home, send the recommended no contact message and follow ALL the steps in the free plan.

      You are always in control.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      1. It has been 4 weeks since the break up and I am at a loss as what to do. He says he misses me and is sorry for how things went. Lets be friends. ok, so do I just leave him alone? I did so pretty stupid e-mails and text messages, is there still a chance for us?

        1. Hi,

          You have a 50/50 chance of getting your ex boyfriend back, if you focus on getting your life back first.

          I help people get their lives back, not their ex boyfriends, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

          Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  21. Wow, all of that makes perfect sense. I’m gonna stick to the activities I’ve been doing, and really try to focus on them while I’m doing them, instead of letting my mind wander…

    Also, I’m kind of mixing a couple of NC letters, most of it is coming from TW’s book though. What do you think of this?:

    Hi ____,

    I just wanted to send you a quick note to say that I agree, your decision to split up was probably the right thing for the both of us. I’m totally okay about it. If I’m honest, it seemed to be in the stars for a while. I also wanted to say I’m sorry for making it so emotional; that was unnecessary. Oh! I had some great news come my way the other day! I’d love to fill you in…but in the future. You and I both need some space right now.

    –Me

    1. Marie says:

      Also, I’m kind of mixing a couple of NC letters, most of it is coming from TW’s book though. What do you think of this?

      Hi,

      There is a lot of useful information in the book MOMU, but the letter sucks.

      That is why I created a better no contact message for the free plan.

      Everyone that has used the recommended NC message in the free plan has experienced much better results.

      In my opinion, the second chance letter was created for after a quarrel, not a serious break up.

      The NC message in the free plan, draws a line in the sand, and kick starts both yours/his personal/emotional evolutions.

      Of course the choice is yours, but I really think you will feel better after sending the NC message I recommend (without changes).

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  22. Hello Scott,

    I’m scared, and devastated. I left you a couple of messages previously, so thanks for the advice you’ve already given me. I just found out that my ex is starting to date other girls. I made the mistake of logging back into my online profile, and seeing pictures he posted with his arm around her. We’ve been broken up for a month to the day. I feel that there’s no chance anymore. I never wrote the NC letter, because i purchase TW’s book several weeks ago, and didn’t see it mentioned until I read the “Mind Reading” book of his. In that book he said it was best to send it if the break up were a week old or younger…this was not my case by the time I bought the book.

    Is it too late for me? I’ve been busy with my own life, and I am happy half of the time, but this news just brought me waaaay down. Also, he is stopping by to get the rest of his stuff tomorrow. I know to be strong during that moment and not discuss personal info. but I fear he has moved on for good.

    He had, after all, told me that he had been having doubts about our relationship since summer time…though he didn’t officially call it off with me until February. I feel that because of this he moved on long ago…

    Any input? Thanks so much in advance.

    1. Marie says:

      but I fear he has moved on for good.

      Hi,

      Let’s address this remark first, OK?

      If you are afraid, you attract more fear, and fear is a negative feeling, obviously.

      The first thing you MUST do is put your fears, and negative emotions on a leash by creating positive feelings in your life, in anyway you can.

      We have started a topic about this very subject in our forum:

      The Law of Attraction and Relationships

      Go take a look at this topic and read all the posts, I think it will switch on a light if you read them enough times.

      Do you know why break ups hurt so much?

      Because people will not let the negative feelings go, and they dwell on them as if by punishing themselves long enough, things will turn around, but they won’t.

      They will only get worst…guaranteed.

      The law of attraction is proof.

      Marie says:

      Is it too late for me? I’ve been busy with my own life, and I am happy half of the time, but this news just brought me waaaay down. Also, he is stopping by to get the rest of his stuff tomorrow. I know to be strong during that moment and not discuss personal info.

      This is a PERFECT opportunity to send the correct no contact message, the one outlined in the free plan.

      Do not discuss anything with him when he comes for his stuff, make the exchange, and get out of there.

      If you feel this will be too hard for you, have someone else do it for you.

      After he comes to get his stuff, send him the message. and do not change the wording.

      After that don’t worry about anything except following the free plan, and finding ways to make yourself happy.

      If you don’t let go of the break up, and start creating more positive energy (feelings) in your life, your situation will remain the same or even get worst.

      Go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  23. Me and my ex have been casually dating almost a month now, in the “momu” it says that i should have sex with her as soon as possible. Well we did, ironically almost immediately afterwards, the guy that she just started seeing called. Its not like their in a relationship or something and she said that she had a great time and doesn’t regret us having sex. However, she later told me that she felt bad about what had just taken place. this happened about a week ago. Then Yesterday, while we were on the phone planning our next get together, she said next time we’re together we are not having sex. What does this mean? She’s been calling me and initiating all of our conversations. But why would she blurt out not sex without warning?

    1. Jerry says:

      Then Yesterday, while we were on the phone planning our next get together, she said next time we’re together we are not having sex. What does this mean?

      Hi,

      The obvious answer would be she wanted to be up front about where the date was going, and where is wasn’t going..

      And maybe it is a test to see if sex was the only reason you got back together and started dating her again.

      Something tells me that the whole love making thing didn’t go over too well with her, maybe it was too soon?

      I didn’t write the book MOMU, and I don’t understand why it is important to have sex right away.

      Except for the obvious reason, it feels great.

      If anything, sex clouds the issues, why?

      Is it a physical, or emotional relationship?

      I think you should definitely establish a solid emotional relationship before bringing sex into the the picture.

      Just back off the sexual part of the relationship, and wait for her to initiate it next time.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  24. Hi,
    I have not contact my ex for nearly a week after my nc message.Is it OK if I want to contact my ex’s sister. Will it break the rule? I am a good fiend of her and I need her to help me get my tax return paperwork from my ex as I am living in different country with my ex. I don’t want to email or call him to ask about it because I don’t want to break the rule.

    Thanks
    T

    1. T says:

      I need her to help me get my tax return paperwork from my ex as I am living in different country with my ex. I don’t want to email or call him to ask about it because I don’t want to break the rule.

      Hi,

      You can contact your ex to resolve financial matters, just keep it about the tax forms, and nothing else.

      If your ex boyfriend asks about NC, the NC message, the break up, or your personal life, just reply with “I am not ready to talk about that right now, lets stick to the subject, OK?”, and then bring the conversation right back to your tax forms.

      If you would rather have someone else do that for you, that will work as well, but contacting your ex over shared matters like: finances, business, legal issues, or children is NOT breaking NC.

      Contacting your ex and discussing the break up, NC, or your personal dating life IS breaking no contact.

      This is explained in the free plan, just follow all the links about the no contact rule.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      1. Thank you 🙂

  25. Hi,
    My ex and I were together for nearly 4 years but we were married a year then he broke up with me. We met in my country and then we had a long distance relationship. He came and live over in my country a few times in last 3 years, we didn’t get to see each other much because I always away traveling on my business. Till one day he asked me to married him and decided to move back to his country. A year later he broke up with me because he thought we can’t get along.
    I know our marriage life was a boring routine and I didn’t show him enough I love and care about him,not much physical contact between us. I think he felt lost and loveless. He went up and ask an advice from a girl at his work and it is turn out he likes her 🙁

    It has been 4 weeks since the break up. I had to live with him in the same house for last 3 weeks before I have moved back to my country.It was so painful seeing him being cold to me…I think he is now dating someone else, it hurts me even more…

    Since I got back, I email him once just to asked if he is OK? Then he replied and complained he tired to contact me to see if I am ok but I didn’t respond for him. Then I have read your blog and I have sent him NC message 3 days ago. He seems to be responding or he doesn’t care? I didn’t hear anything back from him at all…

    He is still on my facebook list I have blocked him but somehow I added him back on and he acept my request within 5 mins! This is breaking the NC rule?, shall I not let him see what is going on with my life at all? Or it is ok if he has seen what has been happening with my life through facebook. I have never contact him since I have sent the NC message over.It is so so hard but I will keep NC message going.

    Thanks

    T

    1. T says:

      He is still on my facebook list I have blocked him but somehow I added him back on and he acept my request within 5 mins! This is breaking the NC rule?, shall I not let him see what is going on with my life at all? Or it is ok if he has seen what has been happening with my life through facebook.

      Hi,

      You would be much better off just closing your facebook account while you use the free plan…why?

      Because the temptation to look at your ex’s account will be very strong, and if you do look I am sure he will have some thing he wants you to see on there, that will only upset you.

      Once you take control with NC your ex will try to get you to break it, so they can feel like they still have you on the hook.

      If you’re serious about getting your life back, don’t fuck around with facebook.

      The NC message is only the first step, make sure you read the free plan and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

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