How Do I Get My Ex Back Now?

You made every mistake after the break up. Now you’re wondering “how do I get my ex back now?” I can help you no matter how many mistakes you’ve made. Don’t worry about the mistakes, that is the past. Everyone makes these mistakes, but not everyone knows what to do after that…I will tell you, OK?

How Do I Get My Ex Back After All The Mistakes?”

The first thing you need to do is calm down. Believe me when I say it is still possible to win back the love of your ex. In fact they still do love you, love just doesn’t disappear. Remember that love doesn’t turn on and off like a water valve. People can say they don’t love you, but that doesn’t make it the truth. “So, if they still love me why did my ex say something like that?”

The reason they said that is because you were begging, and pushing them for a reason for the break up. They had to tell you something to get you to stop, right? Once you stop thinking it is true, you will come to realize why they said it in the first place. If you want to get your ex back you have to believe that you can, because they still love you. No matter how many mistakes you made, and what they might’ve said to you.

OK, So How Do I Get My Ex Back?”

The first thing you need to do is send an effective no contact message. How will you know what to write? I will tell you, OK? A good no contact message needs to be direct, and emotionless. This is a great example of an effective no contact message:

I agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.

This will turn the tables on your situation and flip your ex’s switch. You just went from needy, begging, and heart broken, to confident, and in charge…you have some big decisions to make. After you send that message stick to the no contact rule. If possible find a good plan to follow that will help you personally evolve during your no contact period. “How do I get my ex back now?” You stop begging, and take back control of your situation.

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008 to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free plan to get your ex back fast, and start getting your life back today. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.

Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.

If this article was useful or helpful to you in anyway, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.

154 Comments

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  1. I hope the exes or someone of the exes don’t copy/paste the NC message, but I did that to see if there was search results and they were…

    1. Hi,

      I have addressed this concern waaaay too many times…lol

      Because this plan is about getting your life back, and NOT about getting your ex back, it doesn’t matter who knows about the free plan or the NC message.

      If you truly understood the whole (simple) purpose of NC you would be clear on this…keep reading and learning until you do.

      What is the whole purpose of the no contact rule?

      If you don’t know the “correct” answer to that question, please do not attempt to use the free plan, OK?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – This is a free self-help program.

  2. How do you know when you’re ready? Well the best answer to that question would be when you didn’t need to ask that question at all…you”ll just know it inside. Everyone evolves at their own pace…it’s not a race. If you have your emotions under control you won’t be so jumpy to go ahead when you know you’re not ready. That is why I advise everyone to work on yourself before trying to involve someone else (your ex). DO NOT RUSH THROUGH NO CONTACT.

    if you have your emotions under control you won’t be so jumpy to go ahead when you know you’re not ready. ?????? huh

    lol so like if ur not jumpy or anxious, ur ready or the opposite?

    and of the reaching out to ex for NC dk how to go about it. he changed his cell number perhaps tho i have it cuz i got a text from him about a month later we stopped talking and that was in October of 2010. do i double check the number with the sister or mutual friend or just send the text to the new number i got a text from him recently or well about 3 months ago? i can also do email too….hope it’s the same one too. was thinking facebook message, but i may just delete my fb account temporarily since not having a virtual life was suggested to be better…

    finally, when contacting how do we go about it? i know long distance is skype, web cam is an option, a call too perhaps? and in person it’s the thrilling date/meet like sky diving correct? the approach is just that: want to chat/meet up; something like that? i wouldn’t want to make it over indulging and under qualified for the meet/chat…

    let me know, ur great at what u do it seems! keep it coming and much respect and props for doing this all on your and willing to help others. greatly appreciated and grateful. i actually have ran onto this website twice, might be a reason to try it out? 🙂 hope all is well

    1. Hi,

      If you want the best results, go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  3. Ok. I have to ask this after reading a few breakup and NC posts. Is it normal for an ex to break up with you in an email and then never hear from him again? It’s been 3 weeks. I sent the NC message, nothing. I had sent 4 other emails before this site and nothing. I am just wondering if this is a sign that he has moved on. It seems unlikely I will ever hear from him again.

    1. Hi,

      The only way to know if your ex has moved on or not, is to be able to read his mind, can you read minds?

      I didn’t think so, because if you could you wouldn’t be here asking your question, right?

      You can’t control what other people do, and you can’t read their minds, so why should you wait for them to tell you what to do?

      You shouldn’t…

      You use the free plan to get your life back, and then make an intelligent decision about what to do about your ex later on.

      But you have to get your life back first, understand?

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      It doesn’t matter if your ex comes back or not, the old relationship with your ex is gone, you need to let go of that and move on.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – Once you have your life back, you can learn how to attract anything you want into your life, by learning the secret to manifestation here:

      The Quantum Cook Book

      You don’t have to wait for good karma to find you, you can attract it.

      You can get the kind of love you want and deserve, if you know how to attract it.

  4. *its an LDR btw

  5. I have initiated NC (about a week ago) however my ex is constantly on a dating site (plenty of fish) and has been since we split up (about 4 weeks ago). I won’t go into detail about the whole story, but the long and short of it is after we finished she still led me on for a few weeks whilst being on this site and when i confronted her about it she went mental and basically told me she hated me, never loved me, never wanted to speak to me again, wasted 12 months of her life on me, she was fucking someone else (turned out to be a lie to hurt me), but she had found someone she liked (this was all just before NC commenced)…

    I am sticking to NC, but being able to see she’s online (all the time) is making me very uneasy…and making me think she’s just going to move on. Its very odd as she was the last person I though would do this.

    1. Hi,

      I don’t know how you are using no contact, but if you are not following the free plan, you’re not using it correctly.

      The free plan is not about how to get your ex girlfriend back, it is about getting your life back first.

      Stop worrying about what your ex girlfriend is doing, and start focusing on healing yourself, getting past the break up, and getting your life back again.

      This will make you much more attractive to your ex girlfriend in the future…make sense?

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  6. hi
    my ex posted on his blog in third person..our breakup affair n my NC.
    He claims love from girl’s side is no more present but he cant push away the girl from his memories.
    its been more than 30 days of jus no chat though online initially then 50 days of strict NC. though he traces my invisible status on Y! and comes online. he dint contact me on phone or offline message since my no contact.
    jus once he called asking me about decisions. but then I resent the NC message later.
    I feel hez waiting for me to initiate..i now understand that he wouldnt..from his blog story.
    next month both of us ll be home in the same city.so i see it an opportunity to reconnect
    should I talk from this place n arrange ?
    I need your advice because this is not fully LDR..we can talk n have web cam chats and family traditions like getting engaged soon at this age.

    1. Hi,

      It doesn’t sound like you were following the free plan when you started no contact with your ex boyfriend.

      You can try reading the last part of the free plan for advice about reconnecting with your ex boyfriend in an LDR situation.

      If your reconnection fails I would advise you to start the free plan from the beginning, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  7. Hey, so i did the NC letter and i got the most random email from my ex today (NC message sent almost 2wks ago) it was a forwarded email to like 6 other people but still. he had to put my email in to send to me. It was just of a link… to pills you can buy online. i dont get why he emailed me uselessness. Is he trying to get me to break no contact or randomly sent an email accidently to me?

    1. Hi,

      Ignore any attempts from your ex boyfriend to contact you.

      It doesn’t matter what he says or does, just follow ALL the steps in the free plan, OK?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  8. I broke up with my bf two months ago..n maintaining NC
    After a month or so.. once we chatted.. I was bit rude and closed it quickly..
    Immediately ..I sent the nc message ..he did not reply..
    later after one week …he caught me online.. n aasked if I am ok now or still unsure..
    I said ok.. then he asked if he could call.. I said yes..
    He asked me 1. why I had to send the message when he never disturbed me
    2. what big decisions I had to make
    3. asked me pressingly what I am thinking

    I told him ..I just didnt want to keep in touch after breakup and
    my big decisions were tht.. I was asked by friends n parents ..if I am going to look for marriage proposals..for which I told I needed time.

    I felt I could not answer well.. well..because I am not feeling fully secure thinking away from relationship..
    I shall maintain strict NC now.. until he calls me by himself..

    What do u advise?.. btw we r in LDR..keeping in touch thru chat mostly n phone calls..
    I wish to meet him this november during holiday season when we both go home..before that I want to stick to NC. n reconnect during that month.

    Thanks in advance!

    1. Abhi says:

      What do u advise?.. btw we r in LDR..keeping in touch thru chat mostly n phone calls..
      I wish to meet him this november during holiday season when we both go home..before that I want to stick to NC. n reconnect during that month.

      Hi,

      The reason your last contact didn’t go well was because you broke no contact too soon.

      I would advise that you re-send the recommended no contact message (without changes), and then follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan on my Blog.

      Make sure you read the entire free plan, and understand how it works before you re-send your NC message.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  9. My ex boyfriend broke up with me in July. We were long distance so didn’t talk much over the summer and he broke up with me then. Because it was summer and there were many things to preoccupy my time, the breakup didn’t seem to affect me as I thought it would. I even thought I was over it. I sent him a message saying:

    “I just want to let you know that I am totally okay with the break up. But seriously, a lot of amazing things have been happening that I wouldn’t change for the world and I know that the breakup really was for the best. So no hard feelings–I actually knew it was heading in that direction long before you said anything.”

    School began again and since this last week I’ve been really stressed by his presence. He immediately, by the end of the week, got into a relationship with another girl and was really awkward around me. He asked if he could start dating again early in the week because he didn’t believe my first message and I said “of course, we broke up.”

    The relationship between him and this new girl is really putting a strain on my nerves. I guess I wasn’t as over him as I thought previously (of course it being summer and never seeing him probably had an impact on it). So my question is that even though I sent that message to him and then said I was “cool with him dating,” do I still send a NC message again? (this template) ? I will see him every day because of where I go to school.

    Or should I change the message just a bit to say that though I agree with everything and am cool with him dating, I would still appreciate he not contact me?

    1. Hannah says:

      So my question is that even though I sent that message to him and then said I was “cool with him dating,” do I still send a NC message again? (this template) ? I will see him every day because of where I go to school.

      Or should I change the message just a bit to say that though I agree with everything and am cool with him dating, I would still appreciate he not contact me?

      Hi,

      Don’t use the excuse that you will see him everyday to edit the NC message, and fuck up NC, OK?

      That previous message sucked, you need to send the recommended NC as outlined in the free plan without any changes, that is if you want the best results, if not do whatever you please.

      Once/if you send the appropriate NC message follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  10. I am maintaining NC last three weeks.
    I was in a long distance relationship keeping in touch mainly through chat and phone.
    he said we are friends and remain so. which i refused.
    I cut him off from all chat and social networking.
    now he doesnt contact me but he writes one hate post on his blog every week.why does he interpret my NC negatively?
    will this affect his coming back?

    1. Vindy says:

      I am maintaining NC last three weeks.

      Hi,

      Did you follow the free plan on my Blog?

      Vindy says:

      I cut him off from all chat and social networking.
      now he doesnt contact me but he writes one hate post on his blog every week.why does he interpret my NC negatively?
      will this affect his coming back?

      People get upset when you take away the power they hold over you by trying to keep you in the just friends zone.

      It’s funny how your ex boyfriend wanted to be friends real bad, and then when you refused, now he hates you?

      It is all a bullshit act, go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps to get your ex boyfriend back by getting your life back first.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  11. m in LDR past 1year..we met twice n got intimate.now he got a overseas job which means we cant meet for nxt 4 yrs n my family may pressurise me to marriage in about an year.he realised this n said we should be friends. I charged him for seducing me n breaking the promise of marriage.he got hurt.After two days he said..he left his high paying job n also wouldnot consider me again(breakup)..i begged n pleaded for a month after that.he was tough.he felt i questioned his character n integrity. n that trust was missing on my part.he said we ll are friends and ll be so in future.
    then i maintained two weeks NC.I stayed invisible in Y! n gtalk.he desperately waited(our log in n staying online timings r different…he coped to mine) for me but din try to call(i called him last jus a week after breakup)Then he posted on his blog that I know only deceiving and worth only death.nxt day I texted “I cant be friends after brkup..we shall move on”..he asked reason for this reaction.i said his definations(intentions) hurt me.now a week passed.I texted”how r u?” did not get any reply.. called twice..he dint lift..then sent SMS “ur silence is anger or ignoring..do I remind only pain n digust yet”..he called me n asked wt happened..n said that I messaged “lets not be friends” so he thot he shouldnt disturb me. he spoke v formally n no word about relationship.dint ask how i am.I did.n asked why i changed my idea of not being friends.n then phone line got cut.
    dear forum,how do I handle this situation.
    I told him that he should ask his friends about what people do in relationships.he is against telling personal things to others.his friends nobody knows that he is seeing me.I told him that few of my friends know that we r seeing each other which he dint like.

    1. Hi,

      There is only one way to get your life back, and that is by sending the recommended NC message, and then follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  12. OK. I took your advice and sent it! Damn, that was really hard to do. I don’t anticipate any kind of reply to it. It felt kind of cold sending it and not completely genuine, I have to admit. Maybe because I guess I simply DON’T agree still with her decision.

    Oh well. One thing that was clear was that what I was doing wasn’t working.

    What if in the nearly two weeks or so since I last spoke to her she had started to soften a little and miss me? Could this message have reaffirmed her convictions?

    thanks,
    Jake

    1. Jake says:

      What if in the nearly two weeks or so since I last spoke to her she had started to soften a little and miss me? Could this message have reaffirmed her convictions?

      Hi,

      The “what ifs” will be your down fall.

      Here is what I suggest, and what I tell everyone who asks for advice on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan, and follow ALL the rest of the steps.

      You have already taken the hardest step, now use the rest of the plan, and it’s free support system.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  13. OK, I hear you, but given the circumstances, I want to tweak the message in the following way. Remember that I have spent weeks and weeks never even suggesting I agreed with her decision, and it’s actually been a while since the initial break up, hence the change in the begining, just acknowledging that:

    I don’t think I’ve said this before now, but I agree with you about the decision to break up. I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you continued to not contact me during this time. I’ll be in touch when I’m ready.

    what do you think?
    thanks

    1. Jake says:

      what do you think?

      I think you should not change it, it will work better untouched.

      All you did was make it look like you’re trying to justify yourself…don’t do that.

      Read the success stories, the NC message kicks ass if you have the guts to use it correctly.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  14. Jake says:

    So don’t you think going on almost 2 weeks of NC I could do more harm than good by sending a message that will seem kind of absurd (I think she will just roll her eyes at it and look at is as something that’s obvious and just another attempt of mine to get a response from her)?

    Hi,

    No, I don’t, and I have heard this argument many times, but if you truly understood the free plan, and how we use NC you would know that this about you, and has nothing to do with what your ex says, does, or feels.

    There is only one way to get your life back, and that is by sending the recommended NC message, and then follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan.

    Your choice.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  15. I did everything really, really wrong, for weeks…begging, pleading, trying to be friends, hanging out with the ex, having sex with her, to the point where we even agreed we shouldn’t talk to each other and then I still went back and convinced her to hang out and continued to call, text…to the point that she got sooo frustrated she basically had to read me the riot act and tell me she was going to follow through on what we decided (no contact) and that I had to also because what I was doing was wearing thin and she thought I wasn’t going to stop until she either got pissed off or disliked me…yeah, I messed this up big time.

    So since that time, I haven’t contacted her at all in almost two weeks.

    Here is the problem I see with sending the NC message: After all of that and how weak and clingy I let myself appear, to tell her that I’d appreciate it if SHE not contact ME will just seem absurd to her. I think things had gotten so bad that we both know the furthest thing from her mind right now is probably contacting me. In the last message that she left, when she said what I said she said above, she did say, “It’s hard cutting someone out of your life, but when you decide that’s what you have to do, that’s what you have to do.”

    So don’t you think going on almost 2 weeks of NC I could do more harm than good by sending a message that will seem kind of absurd (I think she will just roll her eyes at it and look at is as something that’s obvious and just another attempt of mine to get a response from her)?

    thanks

  16. Sasha wrote:

    Do you think a strictly enforced NC would make him get over the pain and potentially make him have second thoughts, or is everything lost?

    I meant would it make *me* get over the pain (not “him” – typo)

    1. Hi,

      Nothing is lost, just go read, and follow ALL the steps in the free plan on my Blog.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  17. I was involved with my first guy for 2 years, but we never officially dated. We saw each other almost daily (sex & hanging out), but he always avoided talking about commitment because he was “emotionally unavailable”. Every time I tried to use the NC rule I failed – he has his way of charming me back in the whirlpool – but last month I was pretty serious about it: we either date or I’m out of here. He said “OK, as you wish” and stopped talking to me. I just found out he is in an official relationship with some girl he’s known for 2 weeks only!

    Do you think a strictly enforced NC would make him get over the pain and potentially make him have second thoughts, or is everything lost?

  18. Nigel wrote:

    Hi I’ve bought your e book and stuff enlisted on the extra help.

    Hi,

    First of all, it is not “my book” it is written by TW Jackson.

    I just offer free support for people who ask for it, and use it correctly.

    Nigel wrote

    Four weeks ago she started nc on me and sent police around to tell me not to contact her.

    You need to consult a lawyer, I am NOT a lawyer.

    If she has a restraining order against you, or anything of that nature you better not try to contact her.

    Consult a lawyer and find out if you would be breaking the law if you sent her the recommended NC message as outlined in the free plan.

    Be careful, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  19. Hi I’ve bought your e book and stuff enlisted on the extra help. I was wondering if you could advise me on this situation.
    My ex gf dumped me end jan 2010, we were still in contact for six weeks we are both adults together for three and half years living together.
    Four weeks ago she started nc on me and sent police around to tell me not to contact her. There is no third party on either side And she was always treated very good. What can I do. She meant the world to me

  20. Sandy wrote:

    Even if exes have girlfriends will they still respond to no contact?

    Yes, they will…follow the steps in the free plan.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  21. Hey Scott (sorry for getting your name wrong),

    Thanks again for the advice. My ex is now ignoring me completely since he has his new girlfriend and blew me off for coffee. Should I try no contact again? I can’t stand the thought of him not contacting me ever again! Even if exes have girlfriends will they still respond to no contact?

    Sorry for all the questions.

    Cheers 🙂

  22. Sandy wrote:

    We split up nearly 9 months ago, and he hadn’t been seeing anyone during that time, hence I rated my chances of getting him back highly. Do you think there’s any point in trying to get him back now?

    Hi,

    Who is “Saul”?

    Before you can get your ex back, you need to get yourself back first.

    Follow ALL the steps inf the free plan on my Blog, and start your personal evolution.

    Your ex needed to date so he can compare her to you, and that will make him miss you even more…count on it, OK? 😉

    The first step to getting your ex back, is not wanting them back, it sounds crazy, but it is true, go read the Real Life Success Stories.

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  23. Hi Saul,

    I’ve been following your plan step-by-step and it really did seem to be working. However, my ex has suddenly got himself a new girlfriend. I am absolutely devastated. We split up nearly 9 months ago, and he hadn’t been seeing anyone during that time, hence I rated my chances of getting him back highly. Do you think there’s any point in trying to get him back now? I feel that too long a period of time has elapsed and now that he has a girlfriend I feel like giving up even though I love him so much.

    Thanks for your time.

  24. well i wanted to give my last appearance some dignity:-) thats why the good life bit
    Thanks for replying.
    I’ll do it.

  25. lisa wrote:

    Will your NC msg still work or doesnt look it a bit odd after we already wished each other a good life?

    The NC message written (word for word) is very effective, I have the success stories on my Blog, and in the forum to attest to it.

    If you want help getting your life/ex back again, read and follow all the steps in the free plan on my Blog.

    If you’re not interested I wish you luck somewhere else.

    Oh BTW – If you’re ‘really” worried about looking “a bit odd”, I would re-think trying to get your ex back after you wished each other a good life.

    If you’re more worried about getting your ex back, then looking “a bit odd”, the free plan works.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

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