How Do I Get My Ex Back Now?
You made every mistake after the break up. Now you’re wondering “how do I get my ex back now?” I can help you no matter how many mistakes you’ve made. Don’t worry about the mistakes, that is the past. Everyone makes these mistakes, but not everyone knows what to do after that…I will tell you, OK?
“How Do I Get My Ex Back After All The Mistakes?”
The first thing you need to do is calm down. Believe me when I say it is still possible to win back the love of your ex. In fact they still do love you, love just doesn’t disappear. Remember that love doesn’t turn on and off like a water valve. People can say they don’t love you, but that doesn’t make it the truth. “So, if they still love me why did my ex say something like that?”
The reason they said that is because you were begging, and pushing them for a reason for the break up. They had to tell you something to get you to stop, right? Once you stop thinking it is true, you will come to realize why they said it in the first place. If you want to get your ex back you have to believe that you can, because they still love you. No matter how many mistakes you made, and what they might’ve said to you.
“OK, So How Do I Get My Ex Back?”
The first thing you need to do is send an effective no contact message. How will you know what to write? I will tell you, OK? A good no contact message needs to be direct, and emotionless. This is a great example of an effective no contact message:
I agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.
This will turn the tables on your situation and flip your ex’s switch. You just went from needy, begging, and heart broken, to confident, and in charge…you have some big decisions to make. After you send that message stick to the no contact rule. If possible find a good plan to follow that will help you personally evolve during your no contact period. “How do I get my ex back now?” You stop begging, and take back control of your situation.
Need Some Free Help Getting Your Ex Back?
If you need a free step-by-step system to help you “get my ex back”, I have one. I run a revolutionary Blog, and Forum that takes a whole new approach to winning back your ex, and it works! I don’t care how many books you bought or read. They are all lacking the most important ingredient, personal support, which is what I am offering you.
If you want help getting your ex back, join my free newsletter for access to a free step by step system to get your life and your ex back fast. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.
Until next time,
S. Williams
~I know that “love hurts” but with my help you will get strong enough to kick love’s ass~
http://www.howtogetyourexbackfast.com
Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You are free to reprint this article, as long as you do not change anything in the article – it must be in it’s original form…including my name, website address, and this statement.
hey scott i was thinking about resending the NC message again but i dont know which one to send. i told him one night that i dont think we should be together if he isnt willing for us to try and work things out, the next 4days we was talking and both agreeing we can work things out as we love eachother but will take time the next day sum1 told ex that im dating sum1 else and he turns around and says he doesnt want to work things out anymore. there was no physical i dont want to be with u anymore from either one of us
Gem wrote:
Send the same one for sharing a child just edit the beginning to read “I still agree”…make sense?
Hi,
I still agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time, unless it concerns our child. I will be in touch when I am ready.
Send this message, keep following the plan, and read chapter 6 of MOMU.
Gem wrote:
Didn’t you tell him you were dating while you were broken up?
It would have been better to tell him yourself during the reconnection process, then for him to hear it from someone else.
You were broken up, a free woman…what’s his bitch anyways?
Just start over and learn from your mistakes.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
i meant after we got back together he thought i had meet sum1 else as i live with his mum and i asked her to read a txt from her son as i left phone at home and this lad at work who i no txt me and she read it and assumed we was dating but it was just flirting on this lads part who likes me but he nos im not imterested
Hi,
We dated for 2 1/2 years. He broke up with me last summer, I had no contact with him, and he said he started missing me after that and we got back together. We were long distance. But even after that, we still kept having the same problems, i was demanding and insecure because I had no friends at the college I was at and he joined a fraternity. Now, I moved to the city his college is in and I admitted my flaws and said I would try my best to improve but he said he is done trying because I kind of showed him that I haven’t changed. I begged and I cried and he said he’s just not wanting to try for a relationship that’s failed so much before and he knows me too well to think that I’ll change or that our relationship will change. He said he was hoping to keep me in his life as friends. What do I do? Do I have any chances left??? He admits to having strong feelings for me, but hes not sure if he loves me anymore (but he told me he loves me like a few days before that when I asked). I did something really bad, I forced myself over at his place because I had no where to stay (I purposely threw my key away) and I want to apologize for it in person after some time. Please tell me where to begin. I know I made mistakes but he is my one true love
Julie wrote:
Hi Julie,
If you want any to have chance of getting him back you must stop acting so crazy, and needy.
Men (most people) are not attracted to people who act crazy, and needy…this scares them whether they have feelings for those people or not.
You need to calm down and follow the free plan (link at the top of my Blog).
Start at the beginning and follow every step.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi S,
I need some advice, but I do not want to post my situation online here, is there any way to respond without posting in publically?
Regards,
Jayci Enriquez
SO it’s been three days since he officially said that he’s done trying for the relationship. The night he broke up with me, his frat threw a party and and I guess he didn’t expect me to come, he even said it wouldn’t be a good idea because he wouldn’t have fun if I were there (we had gotten into a fight at the previous party we went too together) and it really hurt. But instead of crying all night I went to the party and he was shocked that I came! Guys were asking me to dance left and right and he just sat by the bar looking depressed. I asked him for a ride back home because my ride was “too drunk” and he reluctantly gave it to me and I didn’t give him any special attention. I called him today and we had a lighthearted 20 min conversation about what else happened this weekend, and I said I had to go because I had stuff to do
My question is – am I stepping into the friend zone too quickly? I was thinking of not contacting him at all after this, but I think it would be dramatic to send the No Contact letter at this point. Can you have no contact without sending the message?
Hello scott. (this is so funny, i think i e mailed you last night and i wrote: hello saul, because I saw your signature as S.Williams and I thought of Saul Williams the performer…)
I’ve been dumped less than a week ago, from a year and a half relationship. I do know he still loves me and I certainly do. He couldn´t stand the usual fighting for me nagging about him not being able to be organized and stuff like that. I was also having a very bad time with my job, which I thought was hell because the people at my office were taking me for granted, and I was letting all my anger and fear on him. Anyhow, I told him I was out of control and I was going back to my shrink, he said it was great and even took me to my first appointment. The stupid fights kept going though, and he said he was having a hard time himself with his life (little income, sick parents, low self esteem) and that he thought he couldné cope with all that trouble around him eventhough he loved me. He said he really thought there was no way out. Since we broke up, I’ve been sticking to the NC rule firmly! Actually I am not willing to contact him because I do believe he has to do a lot of mind search and he will come to the point where he will understand how important I am in his life, because i do know I am. He was amazed before at how much he had improved personal stuff because of me.
So eventhough I miss him like hell, I am not giving up on NC. I do have ups and downs and sometimes I do feel awesome, but others just push me down and I just want to cru all day and stuff. I’m already reading the MOMU for the third time, and also the articles and topics from your page/forum, and they really give me a boost of self confidence even when most people around me keep telling me the usual: “you should move on” story. I know they’re worried about me and think it might be the best way. But I also know I must fight for the things I want in life and accept there were some BIG mistakes not only from his side but from mine, and that I am willing to change those not because of him but because I really don’t enjoy being a pushy, needy, nag nag person.
He broke up with me 3 days before my birthday, and he texted me at 10am with this: I thank my God upon every remembrance of you and I’m sure He shall supply everything you need. Wish you only the best with all of my heart, for this and for all the days of your life. By the way, I am very connected to God, and eventhough I never pushed him to be the same way, he always asked me stuff that somehow leaded him the want to be connected to, which of course I thought was pretty cool.
When I left home by 1pm, the doorguy handed me a book he left me as a gift, with just a card with his name on.
I just texted back saying: “thanks!” thats it.
The problem is that his birthday will be february 3rd, and I still don´t know how should I behave about it. Am I supposed to keep the NC rule? I just don´t know what to do about it.
Anyways I just wanted to say thank you and God bless you for having such a wonderful site. it´s been so much help even if I just found it a few hours ago.
Hope to hear from you soon!
ps: I forgot to say that 2 days after the breakup, I quit my job, but… My bosses wouldn´t let me. I was so surprised to know they thought I was irreplaceable and how they wanted to talk to me about changing everything that was bothering me in order for me to be happy with my job. I am a fashion styler, I work at a men´s publication sort of like GQ or ESQUIRE. A day after my bosses were already calling me to tell me they had new ideas for me to carry on editorials I would love to work on and stuff. And by the way, I had a nice job offer which I’m giving a good thought about. So things have been improving somehow and I’m happy for that.
J.
Jayci wrote:
Yes.
Look in the yellow pages for a private counselor in your area.
Take Care,
S.W.
Julie wrote:
Yes.
Julie wrote:
You’re wrong…you’re just scared to send it.
Julie wrote:
Yeah, but it won’t work.
If you’re afraid to follow the free plan there is nothing I can do for you.
Keep looking elsewhere until you find the type of help you are comfortable using, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
jane wrote:
Does that mean you sent the recommended NC message and are following the free plan on my Blog?
jane wrote:
If you’re following the free plan do not send any kind of birthday greeting.
Take Care,
S.W.
@ S. Williams:
Yes I did sent the message, yesterday, I guess 30 hours ago, or so… I just got back home and he answered this: I do also agree with you, on all the points touched below. Don’t worry about anything, I understand the distance and the silence; in fact I think both are more than necessary for us right now. Big decisions don’t come usually quick or easy. I’ll be here.
Of course I will continue firmly the NC rule, believe me, but what about his answer? is that any good? Please let me insist. I WILL NOT CONTACT HIM. I have no trouble with that, believe me. I just want to know if at least that answer is a good start. And YES, I keep reading, outlining and taking notes of the free plan. It’s been just a few days and I already feel I’m getting my life back. I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE with the FF Technique, it’s just amazing! I don’t feel the crave to cry and isolate anymore.
Thank you!
J.
ps: I already have a NC diary on the forum and Im waiting for a buddy to support me here as well.
jane wrote:
You don’t have to wait for a forum buddy…go ask someone.
If you read someone’s NC diary and they seem like someone you can relate to, PM them and ask to be support buddies…it’s that easy.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi Scott
I sent the nc message about 2 months ago and followed both your free plan and the suggestions describe on the “Magic of Making Up” book.
I feel ready to reconnect but my situation is a bit different, as we are in different countries at the moment. It’s gonna be 3 months before we returns and I’m not sure how to reconnect online/phone. How did other people reconnect with their ex’s LD? Any suggestions? Thank you.
Sasha wrote:
Hi Sasha,
I am a little confused.
If you read and followed the free plan, how did you miss the section on LDR reconnections?
Plus, there are success stories in our forum of people who reconnected in a LDR, go read them, and their NC diaries to see how they did it.
If you were really serous about being successful you should have joined our forum a long time ago.
Take Care,
S.W.
I’ve come to your forum looking for help because I feel like i’ve tried as much as I can, and things have only gotten worse because of it ( I made the mistakes said not to make when trying to get ex back). We are each others first love, I love him sooo much and he often tells me he still love me too, just that he no longer sees us getting back together. I know there is no way I’ll be able to handle being just friends (already tried-failed) because we have too much history together (3 years). It has been about eight months since we’ve broken up and i’m still dealing with the pain of loosing him. I have already started the no contact, since he really wants to be friends and communicate with me, and it has been about a month so far since i’ve talked/responded to him. I guess my question is- is there still a chance I can get him back or is it to late? Is he gone forever?
A Wilson wrote:
Hi,
Did you start no contact properly?
By that I mean did you follow the free plan on my Blog, and send the recommended NC message word for word?
If not go read the free plan, and send that message ASAP to get your self started on the right foot, OK?
A Wilson wrote:
Nothing is “gone forever” except your old failed relationship.
If you follow this plan, and he has deep feelings for you, you will get back together again.
You both must evolve past the old relationship, but that won’t happen until you follow all the steps of the free plan, understand?
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi Scott, I followed NC and it seemed to work according to plan since a month later I received a very friendly message from my ex requesting a coffee meeting. We messaged back and forth about this, but in the end he didn’t follow through – my ex suggested that the beginning of the week would be good and then I heard nothing more… That was about a week and a half ago. I’m now unsure as how to proceed. I would appreciate any suggestions. Thanks.
Sandy wrote:
Hi Sandy,
Who messaged who last?
If you had messaged him, then wait for him to contact to make the first move, because you’re awaiting his response, right?
You don’t want to seem desperate.
If he is waiting for a reply from you, then get back in touch with him, OK?
Move slowly, 30 days is very rarely enough time to use NC for a successful reconnection.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
He was the one who messaged last – I wasn’t going to suggest a specific time and day, so left that up to him (since he contacted me and requested it), and still haven’t heard anything. Prior to NC I made every mistake you could possibly list under the what not to do after a break up, so I feel my chances are pretty slim anyway. I guess I’ll just sit tight and hope for the best. Thanks for your advice.
Sandy wrote:
You and everyone else on this Blog, you’re not alone…believe me.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
One question.. What if we are both using the no contact rule?
Philly wrote:
Hi,
Then you shouldn’t have any problem with your ex bothering you until you are ready.
Follow the steps in the free plan, and focus on yourself, and your personal evolution.
It doesn’t do any good to worry about what your ex is or isn’t doing, OK?
It does not affect the results of the plan in any way, shape, or form.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi S.W.
Why can’t I access the forum…it’s all new and the posts are gone???
Hi Scott!
i m from a long way,Bangladesh:-). . . .i appreciate immensely wt u r doing. . .
here’s my story.we r med. student same year.we had an affair of 3.5years n we were fully commited to each other.bt we had some strong ideological n intellectual differences.day by day d distance between us increased.i couldn’t tolerate that,n i quarelled n cried n hurt him a lot.he is very silent type,got hurt bt said nothins,solved nothing.it was a frustrating situation. . . .
then on 08.04.09 i broke up d affair.he initially tried to talk to me,then just stopped.on d otherhand i understood i couldnt live wthout him.i know,there’s little chance to be happy together,bt i just want to be with him.i need to be with him.i love him too much to let him go,i knw its too late to say that. . .
for d past 5 mnths i’ve done all d things u listed as ”mustn’t do”s.n he just says all d feelings r finished for him. . .
i found ur blog n forum today n i will join them soon. . . . .plz tell me wt i can do to get him back,plz???!
Take care. . .
sarina wrote:
Hi,
First you need to get your life back, and evolve past the old failed relationship…how do you do that?
You follow all the steps in the free plan on my Blog (upper right-hand side).
Take it one step at a time.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi.My problem is that i was dating with a guy since November 2009 but after a couple a weeks he started not to want to be with me so much(after almost 2 weeks we were together).He had lots in his mind with work but thats not the reason, i think.Anyway he started calling me friend and other names etc and i felt that he is putting me out of his life,we werent talkin on the phone for 2 or 3 days.The last time we talked(and we were together i think) were on 24/12/09 when he called me,25/12 when i called for wishes, on 30/12 when he called and on 1/1/2010 when i sent him a msg for wishes and he didnt reply.From 1/1 until 11/1/2010 that i found a mail from him ,we hadnt called.I didnt reply to that mail,and he started calling me.I answered it, we talked and he ask me if i have some time to go for a coffee with him.I said yes but he was sick and we didnt go out.He keep sending me mails and we keep a touch in that level until i called him again and he asked me for a second time to drink a coffee with me.I said ok again i called him after a week to arrange the date.He said yes we will talk.i was waiting for that and he cancelled it.Sooo the next day i was sooo frustrated and i send him a msg”please dont call me again we dont have anything else to say,enjoy ur life”.And he called me a week after that.He told me “what things are that?enjoy ur life etc?You could call me and say that im an asshole”I said ok lets talk about it.He said to talk what? and by the way this black dress looks nice on you(he was watching another woman perhaps cause i was miles away from him)After that we discussed it and he said that he is willing but he has problems with his work(goin out with friends,drinking etc has time?)Anyway i sent him a msg “how are you?”after 4 days of our last call and he replied 2 days later”how are you ,i havent forget you,im busy” i called him the next day we talked,he talked about his work, i didnt talk too much,as always.And thats all,i dont know what he has in his mind.What he wants.Since December we have to meet each other.I m not gonna call him again but i want HIM to call me again and i want him to want me back .Grgrgr,is he gonna call again??
We didnt have the time to know each other.I dont know whats happening?
Also he never said that he want to break up with me he just did his presentance and phone calls rare!!He knew me just 2 weeks before he started hbehave like that.
Evi wrote:
Hi Evi,
If you are not officially broken up, and you find yourself stuck in relationship limbo…you need to take action.
The free plan has a NC message for just your situation.
Go read the free plan, and follow all the steps, this will help you to reveal your boyfriends true feelings.
Take Care,
S.W.
Well i have sent him a msg and i told him “I would like you not to call me again,i dont think we have something else to say to each other,im complete with everything,its better not to keep in touch,have a good time,enjoy ur life” and he answered after a week asking me why i send the msg and i should have called him even to call him an asshole.
And i felt that he wanted to close the phone and i said ok lets talk about it and then he explained that he was busy,he has the will but he cant distinguish bussiness relations and personal relations,and he didnt want to cancell the date etc.
So 2 days after that talk, i send him an msg to his mobile(in order to show him that im not ungry with him,in order to call again) “How are you”,he replied 2 days later “I havent forgot u im just busy” and i called him after 1 day(last friday)and we just talk in general.
Of course he hasnt said “im breaking up with u” but he has shown it.We have to see each other since 19/12/09.Isnt that a break up??But i also feel that he doesnt let me to act like i want.When i wanted to call him i was shaking,even when we were together.I felt isolated.
EVI wrote:
That NC message sucks…follow the free plan, and send the recommended NC message word for word (no changes).
Then follow the rest of the steps.
That is if you really want to be successful, if not ignore what I just told you.
1. im afraid to doit( i dont know why?)maybe cause he doesnt like msg,he thinks its childish and if i want something to say its better to call(thats his opinion).2.it has been only 2 weeks from the last msg and im afraid that he will think”is she stupid or what?”she is saying the same again and again with the same way??
But ill think about it!!I prefer him to call first and ill play with him,to make him jealous etc.
EVI wrote:
Two Words…No Wonder!
There is nothing I can do to help you until you have the “guts” to follow the free plan.
I teach people how to kick loves ass…not kiss it.
Have fun being his little bitch.
Take Care,
S.W.
Another question.the point with the 1st step is to make him to reply,ok?He did ,even with my nc msg.Why cant i go to step 2??The meaning was the same.Can u explain me the difference??
EVI wrote:
Why don’t you go to step 3?
Go find some “balls” and come back when you’re ready to follow my advice, OK?
Free advice is not enough, I have to “convince” you to use it?
That’s a fucking laugh…go find someone else to bother, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
Okay, doing good with no contact. See the ex at school everyday and still no contact. We are the talk of the whole school, but I really don’t care. My ex is making it really easy for me to get over him. I honestly don’t know if I want him back. I think he’s hurting more than he’s letting on because he is acting and doing things that I never thought he would do in a million years. He is hanging out with a really slutty girl that he told me he would never go out with someone like that, I heard he’s been drinking, going to parties, flirting with every girl that walks by him, even flirting with teachers (gross), talking bad about me to his friends and acting extremely cocky. He’s even posting stuff on his facebook referring to me but not naming me. (I know this bc a friend told me, I didn’t look.) Right now, I have no idea who he is. It’s like his whole personality changed in the last 3 weeks. I have no idea what this means or why he’s acting this way? Any ideas? Thank you.
Annie2010 wrote:
I guess he wants to see what it’s like to live without a conscience.
People are always evolving, and sometimes not for the better.
Following the plan, and correctly using NC will give you both time to personally evolve.
Focus on yourself, and let him evolve on his own.
Stay Strong! :rambo:
S.W.
Thanks!! Guess I’m evolving for the better and he’s going down hill fast! Just makes it easier for me to move on, but I can’t help but feel sorry for him. Oh, well, thanks for the input. I’ll keep you posted. NC is the way to go.
Scott, do u think it is even possible for my ex and i to get back together even when i made so many mistakes after the breakup and he went with someone else but they broke and i made more mistakes…i became his friend bt he said he dsnt want a relationship n i knw he is scared becuz of the past and i want to show him i am changing n i want to be with him and not the friend and i do want to get back to myself…is it possible to get him back after all these mistakes and the new ex grl he had?
Hannah wrote:
Hi Hannah,
Life is one long evolution, people will change and do things you don’t understand.
If someone leaves to go “test the waters” you have to let them, after all nobody owns another person, right?
If you focus on yourself, and let your ex go through this period of evolution, you can get back together again.
You have to let go, and move on from your old relationship.
You can’t get that back any more than you can get back yesterday, understand?
That is the whole purpose of NC and your personal evolution…to evolve past the your mistakes, and the old failed relationship.
You can’t not get to the future (together with your ex again) if you won’t let go of the past (old relationship).
Don’t think about all the mistakes you made, think about what you did right.
You found this site, and decided to follow the plan…good choice!
Don’t worry about what happened, or what he is doing, focus on your personal evolution and you will get what you deserve.
You’re doing Great Hannah! :thumbup:
Stay Strong! :rambo:
S.W.
Hey scott, just to follow up.
I sent her the message,
Her response was.
Why do you keep sending that old message all the time.. This is the 3rd Time :l No effect.
What do you think i should do to this, Sorry about the personal question. But do you think i should leave it, Or explain my self That i need time to evolve and i need this time to think things over. :banghead:
Jonathan wrote:
Her response doesn’t matter.
Jonathan wrote:
Did you read the free plan?
Where in the free plan does it tell you to explain NC to your ex?
Read and follow the steps in the free plan.
“But Scott there isn’t a part of the free plan that covers the ex’s response.”
That’s right, because their response doesn’t mean shit, they are not even supposed to respond…you asked them not to.
If you think NC is having no effect, and you truly believe that…you’re chance for success is fucked.
What’s the point of following the plan, or my advice?
Is this just something you’re doing to stay “busy”?
If you want to give up…give up, but please stop asking dumb fucking questions, OK?
I don’t waste my time with people who can’t read, and follow a plan. :cursing:
Take Care,
S.W.
Haha, i totally agree with you
:hurray: :party:
Okay i wont respond. Ill follow the plan, And follow as i have been tought thanks for your insight
Kick Loves arse :kickbutt:
Hey, I admit I committed the whole contacting him before we’re ready thing and it backfired. He ended up telling me that we just weren’t emotionally equipped to handle each other. And that we’re not what the other is looking for – at least not right now in this particular stage of our lives.
So I replied with an email, (before I even learned about the whole NC thing) said thanks for explaining it to me, agreed with his decision, wished him luck with everything in his life, and that I’ll always care for him…
Now my problem is that I think my message sounded like a “goodbye forever” letter. I didn’t mean that. I just wanted to be the one to act maturely for once and respect him. I know we both needed space. But upon rereading my message, it seems like I was closing the doors on him forever.
WHAT DO I DO NOW? I still want him back… How do I contact him first after that letter?
thursday2010 wrote:
Read the free plan, and send the recommended NC message, word for word…no changes.
Take Care,
S.W.
P.S. Don’t reply and tell me you will feel stupid sending another message. If you really want to succeed do what I told you, OK?
We’ve been broken up for over a year, and I used this plan 3x (not the same exact NC letter as you offer now it was very different), I didn’t follow the rules as told and highly regret it because I did see it working. He was a girlfriend now; they break up constantly and he cheats on her with me, *or has many times. We have been talking in between the break up multiple times I have 3 major questions before I get started on the plan again:
1. Do I send the NC letter, even under this circumstance
2. His license is suspended, he can’t drive- therefore when I ask him to lunch would it be accepted if I were to drive him (there are no buses or taxis out here)
3. The past experiances i’ve had with this is that he never follows through with the plans for lunch, or doesn’t give a straight answer or simply just invites me over for lunch at his house. How would I respond to that in an affective way?
Danielle wrote:
I have one major question:
Danielle wrote:
How do you know he won’t cheat on you, like he does to her?
I wouldn’t trust anyone who cheats on their present love…at all.
That is what I call a lying, fucking scum bag. :cursing:
Here’s my best advice:
You don’t need a plan, you need a new love interest…start dating around your area, leave this asshole alone.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi,
my ex broke up with me 2 months ago. After making all the usual mistakes of pleading, being angry with him, begging etc. I requested a last meeting which was a month ago.
I met him and told him that I wouldnt want to see him ever again, dont want to be friends or get a happy birthday msg. He kissed me, hugged me, said “bye baby” and I literally ran outside the pub before he could see me crying.
Since then there has been no contact.
Will your NC msg still work or doesnt look it a bit odd after we already wished each other a good life?
Cheers!
lisa wrote:
The NC message written (word for word) is very effective, I have the success stories on my Blog, and in the forum to attest to it.
If you want help getting your life/ex back again, read and follow all the steps in the free plan on my Blog.
If you’re not interested I wish you luck somewhere else.
Oh BTW – If you’re ‘really” worried about looking “a bit odd”, I would re-think trying to get your ex back after you wished each other a good life.
If you’re more worried about getting your ex back, then looking “a bit odd”, the free plan works.
Take Care,
S.W.
well i wanted to give my last appearance some dignity:-) thats why the good life bit
Thanks for replying.
I’ll do it.
Hi Saul,
I’ve been following your plan step-by-step and it really did seem to be working. However, my ex has suddenly got himself a new girlfriend. I am absolutely devastated. We split up nearly 9 months ago, and he hadn’t been seeing anyone during that time, hence I rated my chances of getting him back highly. Do you think there’s any point in trying to get him back now? I feel that too long a period of time has elapsed and now that he has a girlfriend I feel like giving up even though I love him so much.
Thanks for your time.
Sandy wrote:
Hi,
Who is “Saul”?
Before you can get your ex back, you need to get yourself back first.
Follow ALL the steps inf the free plan on my Blog, and start your personal evolution.
Your ex needed to date so he can compare her to you, and that will make him miss you even more…count on it, OK?
The first step to getting your ex back, is not wanting them back, it sounds crazy, but it is true, go read the Real Life Success Stories.
Stay Strong! :rambo:
S.W.
Hey Scott (sorry for getting your name wrong),
Thanks again for the advice. My ex is now ignoring me completely since he has his new girlfriend and blew me off for coffee. Should I try no contact again? I can’t stand the thought of him not contacting me ever again! Even if exes have girlfriends will they still respond to no contact?
Sorry for all the questions.
Cheers
Sandy wrote:
Yes, they will…follow the steps in the free plan.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi I’ve bought your e book and stuff enlisted on the extra help. I was wondering if you could advise me on this situation.
My ex gf dumped me end jan 2010, we were still in contact for six weeks we are both adults together for three and half years living together.
Four weeks ago she started nc on me and sent police around to tell me not to contact her. There is no third party on either side And she was always treated very good. What can I do. She meant the world to me
Nigel wrote:
Hi,
First of all, it is not “my book” it is written by TW Jackson.
I just offer free support for people who ask for it, and use it correctly.
Nigel wrote
You need to consult a lawyer, I am NOT a lawyer.
If she has a restraining order against you, or anything of that nature you better not try to contact her.
Consult a lawyer and find out if you would be breaking the law if you sent her the recommended NC message as outlined in the free plan.
Be careful, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
I was involved with my first guy for 2 years, but we never officially dated. We saw each other almost daily (sex & hanging out), but he always avoided talking about commitment because he was “emotionally unavailable”. Every time I tried to use the NC rule I failed – he has his way of charming me back in the whirlpool – but last month I was pretty serious about it: we either date or I’m out of here. He said “OK, as you wish” and stopped talking to me. I just found out he is in an official relationship with some girl he’s known for 2 weeks only!
Do you think a strictly enforced NC would make him get over the pain and potentially make him have second thoughts, or is everything lost?
Sasha wrote:
I meant would it make *me* get over the pain (not “him” – typo)
Hi,
Nothing is lost, just go read, and follow ALL the steps in the free plan on my Blog.
Take Care,
S.W.
I did everything really, really wrong, for weeks…begging, pleading, trying to be friends, hanging out with the ex, having sex with her, to the point where we even agreed we shouldn’t talk to each other and then I still went back and convinced her to hang out and continued to call, text…to the point that she got sooo frustrated she basically had to read me the riot act and tell me she was going to follow through on what we decided (no contact) and that I had to also because what I was doing was wearing thin and she thought I wasn’t going to stop until she either got pissed off or disliked me…yeah, I messed this up big time.
So since that time, I haven’t contacted her at all in almost two weeks.
Here is the problem I see with sending the NC message: After all of that and how weak and clingy I let myself appear, to tell her that I’d appreciate it if SHE not contact ME will just seem absurd to her. I think things had gotten so bad that we both know the furthest thing from her mind right now is probably contacting me. In the last message that she left, when she said what I said she said above, she did say, “It’s hard cutting someone out of your life, but when you decide that’s what you have to do, that’s what you have to do.”
So don’t you think going on almost 2 weeks of NC I could do more harm than good by sending a message that will seem kind of absurd (I think she will just roll her eyes at it and look at is as something that’s obvious and just another attempt of mine to get a response from her)?
thanks
Jake says:
Hi,
No, I don’t, and I have heard this argument many times, but if you truly understood the free plan, and how we use NC you would know that this about you, and has nothing to do with what your ex says, does, or feels.
There is only one way to get your life back, and that is by sending the recommended NC message, and then follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan.
Your choice.
Take Care,
S.W.
OK, I hear you, but given the circumstances, I want to tweak the message in the following way. Remember that I have spent weeks and weeks never even suggesting I agreed with her decision, and it’s actually been a while since the initial break up, hence the change in the begining, just acknowledging that:
I don’t think I’ve said this before now, but I agree with you about the decision to break up. I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you continued to not contact me during this time. I’ll be in touch when I’m ready.
what do you think?
thanks
Jake says:
I think you should not change it, it will work better untouched.
All you did was make it look like you’re trying to justify yourself…don’t do that.
Read the success stories, the NC message kicks ass if you have the guts to use it correctly.
Take Care,
S.W.
OK. I took your advice and sent it! Damn, that was really hard to do. I don’t anticipate any kind of reply to it. It felt kind of cold sending it and not completely genuine, I have to admit. Maybe because I guess I simply DON’T agree still with her decision.
Oh well. One thing that was clear was that what I was doing wasn’t working.
What if in the nearly two weeks or so since I last spoke to her she had started to soften a little and miss me? Could this message have reaffirmed her convictions?
thanks,
Jake
Jake says:
Hi,
The “what ifs” will be your down fall.
Here is what I suggest, and what I tell everyone who asks for advice on my Blog.
Go read the free plan, and follow ALL the rest of the steps.
You have already taken the hardest step, now use the rest of the plan, and it’s free support system.
Take Care,
S.W.
m in LDR past 1year..we met twice n got intimate.now he got a overseas job which means we cant meet for nxt 4 yrs n my family may pressurise me to marriage in about an year.he realised this n said we should be friends. I charged him for seducing me n breaking the promise of marriage.he got hurt.After two days he said..he left his high paying job n also wouldnot consider me again(breakup)..i begged n pleaded for a month after that.he was tough.he felt i questioned his character n integrity. n that trust was missing on my part.he said we ll are friends and ll be so in future.
then i maintained two weeks NC.I stayed invisible in Y! n gtalk.he desperately waited(our log in n staying online timings r different…he coped to mine) for me but din try to call(i called him last jus a week after breakup)Then he posted on his blog that I know only deceiving and worth only death.nxt day I texted “I cant be friends after brkup..we shall move on”..he asked reason for this reaction.i said his definations(intentions) hurt me.now a week passed.I texted”how r u?” did not get any reply.. called twice..he dint lift..then sent SMS “ur silence is anger or ignoring..do I remind only pain n digust yet”..he called me n asked wt happened..n said that I messaged “lets not be friends” so he thot he shouldnt disturb me. he spoke v formally n no word about relationship.dint ask how i am.I did.n asked why i changed my idea of not being friends.n then phone line got cut.
dear forum,how do I handle this situation.
I told him that he should ask his friends about what people do in relationships.he is against telling personal things to others.his friends nobody knows that he is seeing me.I told him that few of my friends know that we r seeing each other which he dint like.
Hi,
There is only one way to get your life back, and that is by sending the recommended NC message, and then follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan.
Take Care,
S.W.
I am maintaining NC last three weeks.
I was in a long distance relationship keeping in touch mainly through chat and phone.
he said we are friends and remain so. which i refused.
I cut him off from all chat and social networking.
now he doesnt contact me but he writes one hate post on his blog every week.why does he interpret my NC negatively?
will this affect his coming back?
Vindy says:
Hi,
Did you follow the free plan on my Blog?
Vindy says:
People get upset when you take away the power they hold over you by trying to keep you in the just friends zone.
It’s funny how your ex boyfriend wanted to be friends real bad, and then when you refused, now he hates you?
It is all a bullshit act, go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps to get your ex boyfriend back by getting your life back first.
Take Care,
S.W.
My ex boyfriend broke up with me in July. We were long distance so didn’t talk much over the summer and he broke up with me then. Because it was summer and there were many things to preoccupy my time, the breakup didn’t seem to affect me as I thought it would. I even thought I was over it. I sent him a message saying:
“I just want to let you know that I am totally okay with the break up. But seriously, a lot of amazing things have been happening that I wouldn’t change for the world and I know that the breakup really was for the best. So no hard feelings–I actually knew it was heading in that direction long before you said anything.”
School began again and since this last week I’ve been really stressed by his presence. He immediately, by the end of the week, got into a relationship with another girl and was really awkward around me. He asked if he could start dating again early in the week because he didn’t believe my first message and I said “of course, we broke up.”
The relationship between him and this new girl is really putting a strain on my nerves. I guess I wasn’t as over him as I thought previously (of course it being summer and never seeing him probably had an impact on it). So my question is that even though I sent that message to him and then said I was “cool with him dating,” do I still send a NC message again? (this template) ? I will see him every day because of where I go to school.
Or should I change the message just a bit to say that though I agree with everything and am cool with him dating, I would still appreciate he not contact me?
Hannah says:
Hi,
Don’t use the excuse that you will see him everyday to edit the NC message, and fuck up NC, OK?
That previous message sucked, you need to send the recommended NC as outlined in the free plan without any changes, that is if you want the best results, if not do whatever you please.
Once/if you send the appropriate NC message follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan.
Take Care,
S.W.
I broke up with my bf two months ago..n maintaining NC
After a month or so.. once we chatted.. I was bit rude and closed it quickly..
Immediately ..I sent the nc message ..he did not reply..
later after one week …he caught me online.. n aasked if I am ok now or still unsure..
I said ok.. then he asked if he could call.. I said yes..
He asked me 1. why I had to send the message when he never disturbed me
2. what big decisions I had to make
3. asked me pressingly what I am thinking
I told him ..I just didnt want to keep in touch after breakup and
my big decisions were tht.. I was asked by friends n parents ..if I am going to look for marriage proposals..for which I told I needed time.
I felt I could not answer well.. well..because I am not feeling fully secure thinking away from relationship..
I shall maintain strict NC now.. until he calls me by himself..
What do u advise?.. btw we r in LDR..keeping in touch thru chat mostly n phone calls..
I wish to meet him this november during holiday season when we both go home..before that I want to stick to NC. n reconnect during that month.
Thanks in advance!
Abhi says:
Hi,
The reason your last contact didn’t go well was because you broke no contact too soon.
I would advise that you re-send the recommended no contact message (without changes), and then follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan on my Blog.
Make sure you read the entire free plan, and understand how it works before you re-send your NC message.
Take Care,
S.W.