How Do I Get My Ex Back Now?

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You made every mistake after the break up. Now you’re wondering “how do I get my ex back now?” I can help you no matter how many mistakes you’ve made. Don’t worry about the mistakes, that is the past. Everyone makes these mistakes, but not everyone knows what to do after that…I will tell you, OK?

How Do I Get My Ex Back After All The Mistakes?”

The first thing you need to do is calm down. Believe me when I say it is still possible to win back the love of your ex. In fact they still do love you, love just doesn’t disappear. Remember that love doesn’t turn on and off like a water valve. People can say they don’t love you, but that doesn’t make it the truth. “So, if they still love me why did my ex say something like that?”

The reason they said that is because you were begging, and pushing them for a reason for the break up. They had to tell you something to get you to stop, right? Once you stop thinking it is true, you will come to realize why they said it in the first place. If you want to get your ex back you have to believe that you can, because they still love you. No matter how many mistakes you made, and what they might’ve said to you.

OK, So How Do I Get My Ex Back?”

The first thing you need to do is send an effective no contact message. How will you know what to write? I will tell you, OK? A good no contact message needs to be direct, and emotionless. This is a great example of an effective no contact message:

I agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.

This will turn the tables on your situation and flip your ex’s switch. You just went from needy, begging, and heart broken, to confident, and in charge…you have some big decisions to make. After you send that message stick to the no contact rule. If possible find a good plan to follow that will help you personally evolve during your no contact period. “How do I get my ex back now?” You stop begging, and take back control of your situation.

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008 to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free plan to get your ex back fast, and start getting your life back today. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.

Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.

If this article was useful or helpful to you in anyway, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.

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154 Responses to “How Do I Get My Ex Back Now?”

  1. Gem says:

    hey scott i was thinking about resending the NC message again but i dont know which one to send. i told him one night that i dont think we should be together if he isnt willing for us to try and work things out, the next 4days we was talking and both agreeing we can work things out as we love eachother but will take time the next day sum1 told ex that im dating sum1 else and he turns around and says he doesnt want to work things out anymore. there was no physical i dont want to be with u anymore from either one of us

  2. S. Williams says:

    Gem wrote:

    hey scott i was thinking about resending the NC message again but i dont know which one to send.

    Send the same one for sharing a child just edit the beginning to read “I still agree”…make sense?

    Hi,

    I still agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time, unless it concerns our child. I will be in touch when I am ready.

    Send this message, keep following the plan, and read chapter 6 of MOMU.

    Gem wrote:

    i told him one night that i dont think we should be together if he isnt willing for us to try and work things out, the next 4days we was talking and both agreeing we can work things out as we love eachother but will take time the next day sum1 told ex that im dating sum1 else

    Didn’t you tell him you were dating while you were broken up?

    It would have been better to tell him yourself during the reconnection process, then for him to hear it from someone else.

    You were broken up, a free woman…what’s his bitch anyways?

    Just start over and learn from your mistakes.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  3. Gem says:

    i meant after we got back together he thought i had meet sum1 else as i live with his mum and i asked her to read a txt from her son as i left phone at home and this lad at work who i no txt me and she read it and assumed we was dating but it was just flirting on this lads part who likes me but he nos im not imterested

  4. Julie says:

    Hi,

    We dated for 2 1/2 years. He broke up with me last summer, I had no contact with him, and he said he started missing me after that and we got back together. We were long distance. But even after that, we still kept having the same problems, i was demanding and insecure because I had no friends at the college I was at and he joined a fraternity. Now, I moved to the city his college is in and I admitted my flaws and said I would try my best to improve but he said he is done trying because I kind of showed him that I haven’t changed. I begged and I cried and he said he’s just not wanting to try for a relationship that’s failed so much before and he knows me too well to think that I’ll change or that our relationship will change. He said he was hoping to keep me in his life as friends. What do I do? Do I have any chances left??? He admits to having strong feelings for me, but hes not sure if he loves me anymore (but he told me he loves me like a few days before that when I asked). I did something really bad, I forced myself over at his place because I had no where to stay (I purposely threw my key away) and I want to apologize for it in person after some time. Please tell me where to begin. I know I made mistakes but he is my one true love

  5. S. Williams says:

    Julie wrote:

    Please tell me where to begin. I know I made mistakes but he is my one true love

    Hi Julie,

    If you want any to have chance of getting him back you must stop acting so crazy, and needy.

    Men (most people) are not attracted to people who act crazy, and needy…this scares them whether they have feelings for those people or not.

    You need to calm down and follow the free plan (link at the top of my Blog).

    Start at the beginning and follow every step.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  6. Jayci says:

    Hi S,

    I need some advice, but I do not want to post my situation online here, is there any way to respond without posting in publically?

    Regards,
    Jayci Enriquez

  7. Julie says:

    SO it’s been three days since he officially said that he’s done trying for the relationship. The night he broke up with me, his frat threw a party and and I guess he didn’t expect me to come, he even said it wouldn’t be a good idea because he wouldn’t have fun if I were there (we had gotten into a fight at the previous party we went too together) and it really hurt. But instead of crying all night I went to the party and he was shocked that I came! Guys were asking me to dance left and right and he just sat by the bar looking depressed. I asked him for a ride back home because my ride was “too drunk” and he reluctantly gave it to me and I didn’t give him any special attention. I called him today and we had a lighthearted 20 min conversation about what else happened this weekend, and I said I had to go because I had stuff to do

    My question is – am I stepping into the friend zone too quickly? I was thinking of not contacting him at all after this, but I think it would be dramatic to send the No Contact letter at this point. Can you have no contact without sending the message?

  8. jane says:

    Hello scott. (this is so funny, i think i e mailed you last night and i wrote: hello saul, because I saw your signature as S.Williams and I thought of Saul Williams the performer…)

    I’ve been dumped less than a week ago, from a year and a half relationship. I do know he still loves me and I certainly do. He couldn´t stand the usual fighting for me nagging about him not being able to be organized and stuff like that. I was also having a very bad time with my job, which I thought was hell because the people at my office were taking me for granted, and I was letting all my anger and fear on him. Anyhow, I told him I was out of control and I was going back to my shrink, he said it was great and even took me to my first appointment. The stupid fights kept going though, and he said he was having a hard time himself with his life (little income, sick parents, low self esteem) and that he thought he couldné cope with all that trouble around him eventhough he loved me. He said he really thought there was no way out. Since we broke up, I’ve been sticking to the NC rule firmly! Actually I am not willing to contact him because I do believe he has to do a lot of mind search and he will come to the point where he will understand how important I am in his life, because i do know I am. He was amazed before at how much he had improved personal stuff because of me.

    So eventhough I miss him like hell, I am not giving up on NC. I do have ups and downs and sometimes I do feel awesome, but others just push me down and I just want to cru all day and stuff. I’m already reading the MOMU for the third time, and also the articles and topics from your page/forum, and they really give me a boost of self confidence even when most people around me keep telling me the usual: “you should move on” story. I know they’re worried about me and think it might be the best way. But I also know I must fight for the things I want in life and accept there were some BIG mistakes not only from his side but from mine, and that I am willing to change those not because of him but because I really don’t enjoy being a pushy, needy, nag nag person.

    He broke up with me 3 days before my birthday, and he texted me at 10am with this: I thank my God upon every remembrance of you and I’m sure He shall supply everything you need. Wish you only the best with all of my heart, for this and for all the days of your life. By the way, I am very connected to God, and eventhough I never pushed him to be the same way, he always asked me stuff that somehow leaded him the want to be connected to, which of course I thought was pretty cool.

    When I left home by 1pm, the doorguy handed me a book he left me as a gift, with just a card with his name on.

    I just texted back saying: “thanks!” thats it.

    The problem is that his birthday will be february 3rd, and I still don´t know how should I behave about it. Am I supposed to keep the NC rule? I just don´t know what to do about it.

    Anyways I just wanted to say thank you and God bless you for having such a wonderful site. it´s been so much help even if I just found it a few hours ago.

    Hope to hear from you soon!

    ps: I forgot to say that 2 days after the breakup, I quit my job, but… My bosses wouldn´t let me. I was so surprised to know they thought I was irreplaceable and how they wanted to talk to me about changing everything that was bothering me in order for me to be happy with my job. I am a fashion styler, I work at a men´s publication sort of like GQ or ESQUIRE. A day after my bosses were already calling me to tell me they had new ideas for me to carry on editorials I would love to work on and stuff. And by the way, I had a nice job offer which I’m giving a good thought about. So things have been improving somehow and I’m happy for that.

    J.

  9. S. Williams says:

    Jayci wrote:

    Hi S,
    I need some advice, but I do not want to post my situation online here, is there any way to respond without posting in publically?
    Regards,
    Jayci Enriquez

    Yes.

    Look in the yellow pages for a private counselor in your area.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  10. S. Williams says:

    Julie wrote:

    My question is – am I stepping into the friend zone too quickly?

    Yes.

    Julie wrote:

    I was thinking of not contacting him at all after this, but I think it would be dramatic to send the No Contact letter at this point.

    You’re wrong…you’re just scared to send it.

    Julie wrote:

    Can you have no contact without sending the message?

    Yeah, but it won’t work.

    If you’re afraid to follow the free plan there is nothing I can do for you.

    Keep looking elsewhere until you find the type of help you are comfortable using, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  11. S. Williams says:

    jane wrote:

    Since we broke up, I’ve been sticking to the NC rule firmly!

    Does that mean you sent the recommended NC message and are following the free plan on my Blog?

    jane wrote:

    The problem is that his birthday will be february 3rd, and I still don´t know how should I behave about it. Am I supposed to keep the NC rule? I just don´t know what to do about it.

    If you’re following the free plan do not send any kind of birthday greeting.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  12. jane says:

    @ S. Williams:
    Yes I did sent the message, yesterday, I guess 30 hours ago, or so… I just got back home and he answered this: I do also agree with you, on all the points touched below. Don’t worry about anything, I understand the distance and the silence; in fact I think both are more than necessary for us right now. Big decisions don’t come usually quick or easy. I’ll be here.

    Of course I will continue firmly the NC rule, believe me, but what about his answer? is that any good? Please let me insist. I WILL NOT CONTACT HIM. I have no trouble with that, believe me. I just want to know if at least that answer is a good start. And YES, I keep reading, outlining and taking notes of the free plan. It’s been just a few days and I already feel I’m getting my life back. I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE with the FF Technique, it’s just amazing! I don’t feel the crave to cry and isolate anymore.

    Thank you!

    J.

  13. jane says:

    ps: I already have a NC diary on the forum and Im waiting for a buddy to support me here as well.

  14. S. Williams says:

    jane wrote:

    ps: I already have a NC diary on the forum and Im waiting for a buddy to support me here as well.

    You don’t have to wait for a forum buddy…go ask someone.

    If you read someone’s NC diary and they seem like someone you can relate to, PM them and ask to be support buddies…it’s that easy.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  15. Sasha says:

    Hi Scott
    I sent the nc message about 2 months ago and followed both your free plan and the suggestions describe on the “Magic of Making Up” book.
    I feel ready to reconnect but my situation is a bit different, as we are in different countries at the moment. It’s gonna be 3 months before we returns and I’m not sure how to reconnect online/phone. How did other people reconnect with their ex’s LD? Any suggestions? Thank you.

  16. S. Williams says:

    Sasha wrote:

    It’s gonna be 3 months before we returns and I’m not sure how to reconnect online/phone. How did other people reconnect with their ex’s LD? Any suggestions?

    Hi Sasha,

    I am a little confused.

    If you read and followed the free plan, how did you miss the section on LDR reconnections?

    Plus, there are success stories in our forum of people who reconnected in a LDR, go read them, and their NC diaries to see how they did it.

    If you were really serous about being successful you should have joined our forum a long time ago.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  17. A Wilson says:

    I’ve come to your forum looking for help because I feel like i’ve tried as much as I can, and things have only gotten worse because of it ( I made the mistakes said not to make when trying to get ex back). We are each others first love, I love him sooo much and he often tells me he still love me too, just that he no longer sees us getting back together. I know there is no way I’ll be able to handle being just friends (already tried-failed) because we have too much history together (3 years). It has been about eight months since we’ve broken up and i’m still dealing with the pain of loosing him. I have already started the no contact, since he really wants to be friends and communicate with me, and it has been about a month so far since i’ve talked/responded to him. I guess my question is- is there still a chance I can get him back or is it to late? Is he gone forever?

  18. S. Williams says:

    A Wilson wrote:

    I have already started the no contact

    Hi,

    Did you start no contact properly?

    By that I mean did you follow the free plan on my Blog, and send the recommended NC message word for word?

    If not go read the free plan, and send that message ASAP to get your self started on the right foot, OK?

    A Wilson wrote:

    I guess my question is- is there still a chance I can get him back or is it to late? Is he gone forever?

    Nothing is “gone forever” except your old failed relationship.

    If you follow this plan, and he has deep feelings for you, you will get back together again.

    You both must evolve past the old relationship, but that won’t happen until you follow all the steps of the free plan, understand?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  19. Sandy says:

    Hi Scott, I followed NC and it seemed to work according to plan since a month later I received a very friendly message from my ex requesting a coffee meeting. We messaged back and forth about this, but in the end he didn’t follow through – my ex suggested that the beginning of the week would be good and then I heard nothing more… That was about a week and a half ago. I’m now unsure as how to proceed. I would appreciate any suggestions. Thanks.

  20. S. Williams says:

    Sandy wrote:

    We messaged back and forth about this, but in the end he didn’t follow through – my ex suggested that the beginning of the week would be good and then I heard nothing more… That was about a week and a half ago. I’m now unsure as how to proceed. I would appreciate any suggestions.

    Hi Sandy,

    Who messaged who last?

    If you had messaged him, then wait for him to contact to make the first move, because you’re awaiting his response, right?

    You don’t want to seem desperate.

    If he is waiting for a reply from you, then get back in touch with him, OK?

    Move slowly, 30 days is very rarely enough time to use NC for a successful reconnection.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  21. Sandy says:

    He was the one who messaged last – I wasn’t going to suggest a specific time and day, so left that up to him (since he contacted me and requested it), and still haven’t heard anything. Prior to NC I made every mistake you could possibly list under the what not to do after a break up, so I feel my chances are pretty slim anyway. I guess I’ll just sit tight and hope for the best. Thanks for your advice.

  22. S. Williams says:

    Sandy wrote:

    Prior to NC I made every mistake you could possibly list under the what not to do after a break up

    You and everyone else on this Blog, you’re not alone…believe me. ;)

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  23. Philly says:

    One question.. What if we are both using the no contact rule?

  24. S. Williams says:

    Philly wrote:

    One question.. What if we are both using the no contact rule?

    Hi,

    Then you shouldn’t have any problem with your ex bothering you until you are ready.

    Follow the steps in the free plan, and focus on yourself, and your personal evolution.

    It doesn’t do any good to worry about what your ex is or isn’t doing, OK?

    It does not affect the results of the plan in any way, shape, or form.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  25. Renee says:

    Hi S.W.

    Why can’t I access the forum…it’s all new and the posts are gone???

  26. sarina says:

    Hi Scott!
    i m from a long way,Bangladesh:-). . . .i appreciate immensely wt u r doing. . .
    here’s my story.we r med. student same year.we had an affair of 3.5years n we were fully commited to each other.bt we had some strong ideological n intellectual differences.day by day d distance between us increased.i couldn’t tolerate that,n i quarelled n cried n hurt him a lot.he is very silent type,got hurt bt said nothins,solved nothing.it was a frustrating situation. . . .
    then on 08.04.09 i broke up d affair.he initially tried to talk to me,then just stopped.on d otherhand i understood i couldnt live wthout him.i know,there’s little chance to be happy together,bt i just want to be with him.i need to be with him.i love him too much to let him go,i knw its too late to say that. . .
    for d past 5 mnths i’ve done all d things u listed as ”mustn’t do”s.n he just says all d feelings r finished for him. . .
    i found ur blog n forum today n i will join them soon. . . . .plz tell me wt i can do to get him back,plz???!
    Take care. . .

  27. S. Williams says:

    sarina wrote:

    plz tell me wt i can do to get him back,plz???!

    Hi,

    First you need to get your life back, and evolve past the old failed relationship…how do you do that?

    You follow all the steps in the free plan on my Blog (upper right-hand side).

    Take it one step at a time.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  28. Evi says:

    Hi.My problem is that i was dating with a guy since November 2009 but after a couple a weeks he started not to want to be with me so much(after almost 2 weeks we were together).He had lots in his mind with work but thats not the reason, i think.Anyway he started calling me friend and other names etc and i felt that he is putting me out of his life,we werent talkin on the phone for 2 or 3 days.The last time we talked(and we were together i think) were on 24/12/09 when he called me,25/12 when i called for wishes, on 30/12 when he called and on 1/1/2010 when i sent him a msg for wishes and he didnt reply.From 1/1 until 11/1/2010 that i found a mail from him ,we hadnt called.I didnt reply to that mail,and he started calling me.I answered it, we talked and he ask me if i have some time to go for a coffee with him.I said yes but he was sick and we didnt go out.He keep sending me mails and we keep a touch in that level until i called him again and he asked me for a second time to drink a coffee with me.I said ok again i called him after a week to arrange the date.He said yes we will talk.i was waiting for that and he cancelled it.Sooo the next day i was sooo frustrated and i send him a msg”please dont call me again we dont have anything else to say,enjoy ur life”.And he called me a week after that.He told me “what things are that?enjoy ur life etc?You could call me and say that im an asshole”I said ok lets talk about it.He said to talk what? and by the way this black dress looks nice on you(he was watching another woman perhaps cause i was miles away from him)After that we discussed it and he said that he is willing but he has problems with his work(goin out with friends,drinking etc has time?)Anyway i sent him a msg “how are you?”after 4 days of our last call and he replied 2 days later”how are you ,i havent forget you,im busy” i called him the next day we talked,he talked about his work, i didnt talk too much,as always.And thats all,i dont know what he has in his mind.What he wants.Since December we have to meet each other.I m not gonna call him again but i want HIM to call me again and i want him to want me back .Grgrgr,is he gonna call again??
    We didnt have the time to know each other.I dont know whats happening?

  29. Evi says:

    Also he never said that he want to break up with me he just did his presentance and phone calls rare!!He knew me just 2 weeks before he started hbehave like that.

  30. S. Williams says:

    Evi wrote:

    Also he never said that he want to break up with me he just did his presentance and phone calls rare!!He knew me just 2 weeks before he started hbehave like that.

    Hi Evi,

    If you are not officially broken up, and you find yourself stuck in relationship limbo…you need to take action.

    The free plan has a NC message for just your situation.

    Go read the free plan, and follow all the steps, this will help you to reveal your boyfriends true feelings.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  31. EVI says:

    Well i have sent him a msg and i told him “I would like you not to call me again,i dont think we have something else to say to each other,im complete with everything,its better not to keep in touch,have a good time,enjoy ur life” and he answered after a week asking me why i send the msg and i should have called him even to call him an asshole.
    And i felt that he wanted to close the phone and i said ok lets talk about it and then he explained that he was busy,he has the will but he cant distinguish bussiness relations and personal relations,and he didnt want to cancell the date etc.
    So 2 days after that talk, i send him an msg to his mobile(in order to show him that im not ungry with him,in order to call again) “How are you”,he replied 2 days later “I havent forgot u im just busy” and i called him after 1 day(last friday)and we just talk in general.
    Of course he hasnt said “im breaking up with u” but he has shown it.We have to see each other since 19/12/09.Isnt that a break up??But i also feel that he doesnt let me to act like i want.When i wanted to call him i was shaking,even when we were together.I felt isolated.

  32. S. Williams says:

    EVI wrote:

    Well i have sent him a msg and i told him “I would like you not to call me again,i dont think we have something else to say to each other,im complete with everything,its better not to keep in touch,have a good time,enjoy ur life”

    That NC message sucks…follow the free plan, and send the recommended NC message word for word (no changes).

    Then follow the rest of the steps.

    That is if you really want to be successful, if not ignore what I just told you.

  33. EVI says:

    1. im afraid to doit( i dont know why?)maybe cause he doesnt like msg,he thinks its childish and if i want something to say its better to call(thats his opinion).2.it has been only 2 weeks from the last msg and im afraid that he will think”is she stupid or what?”she is saying the same again and again with the same way??
    But ill think about it!!I prefer him to call first and ill play with him,to make him jealous etc.

  34. S. Williams says:

    EVI wrote:

    1. im afraid to doit

    Two Words…No Wonder!

    There is nothing I can do to help you until you have the “guts” to follow the free plan.

    I teach people how to kick loves ass…not kiss it.

    Have fun being his little bitch.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  35. EVI says:

    Another question.the point with the 1st step is to make him to reply,ok?He did ,even with my nc msg.Why cant i go to step 2??The meaning was the same.Can u explain me the difference??

  36. S. Williams says:

    EVI wrote:

    Why cant i go to step 2??

    Why don’t you go to step 3?

    Go find some “balls” and come back when you’re ready to follow my advice, OK?

    Free advice is not enough, I have to “convince” you to use it?

    That’s a fucking laugh…go find someone else to bother, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  37. Annie2010 says:

    Okay, doing good with no contact. See the ex at school everyday and still no contact. We are the talk of the whole school, but I really don’t care. My ex is making it really easy for me to get over him. I honestly don’t know if I want him back. I think he’s hurting more than he’s letting on because he is acting and doing things that I never thought he would do in a million years. He is hanging out with a really slutty girl that he told me he would never go out with someone like that, I heard he’s been drinking, going to parties, flirting with every girl that walks by him, even flirting with teachers (gross), talking bad about me to his friends and acting extremely cocky. He’s even posting stuff on his facebook referring to me but not naming me. (I know this bc a friend told me, I didn’t look.) Right now, I have no idea who he is. It’s like his whole personality changed in the last 3 weeks. I have no idea what this means or why he’s acting this way? Any ideas? Thank you.

  38. S. Williams says:

    Annie2010 wrote:

    I have no idea what this means or why he’s acting this way? Any ideas?

    I guess he wants to see what it’s like to live without a conscience.

    People are always evolving, and sometimes not for the better.

    Following the plan, and correctly using NC will give you both time to personally evolve.

    Focus on yourself, and let him evolve on his own.

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  39. Annie2010 says:

    Thanks!! Guess I’m evolving for the better and he’s going down hill fast! Just makes it easier for me to move on, but I can’t help but feel sorry for him. Oh, well, thanks for the input. I’ll keep you posted. NC is the way to go.

  40. Hannah says:

    Scott, do u think it is even possible for my ex and i to get back together even when i made so many mistakes after the breakup and he went with someone else but they broke and i made more mistakes…i became his friend bt he said he dsnt want a relationship n i knw he is scared becuz of the past and i want to show him i am changing n i want to be with him and not the friend and i do want to get back to myself…is it possible to get him back after all these mistakes and the new ex grl he had?

  41. S. Williams says:

    Hannah wrote:

    is it possible to get him back after all these mistakes and the new ex grl he had?

    Hi Hannah,

    Life is one long evolution, people will change and do things you don’t understand.

    If someone leaves to go “test the waters” you have to let them, after all nobody owns another person, right?

    If you focus on yourself, and let your ex go through this period of evolution, you can get back together again.

    You have to let go, and move on from your old relationship.

    You can’t get that back any more than you can get back yesterday, understand?

    That is the whole purpose of NC and your personal evolution…to evolve past the your mistakes, and the old failed relationship.

    You can’t not get to the future (together with your ex again) if you won’t let go of the past (old relationship).

    Don’t think about all the mistakes you made, think about what you did right.

    You found this site, and decided to follow the plan…good choice!

    Don’t worry about what happened, or what he is doing, focus on your personal evolution and you will get what you deserve.

    You’re doing Great Hannah! :thumbup:

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  42. Jonathan says:

    Hey scott, just to follow up.
    I sent her the message,
    Her response was.
    Why do you keep sending that old message all the time.. This is the 3rd Time :l No effect.

  43. Jonathan says:

    What do you think i should do to this, Sorry about the personal question. But do you think i should leave it, Or explain my self That i need time to evolve and i need this time to think things over. :banghead:

  44. S. Williams says:

    Jonathan wrote:

    Her response was.
    Why do you keep sending that old message all the time.. This is the 3rd Time :l No effect.

    Her response doesn’t matter.

    Jonathan wrote:

    But do you think i should leave it, Or explain my self That i need time to evolve and i need this time to think things over.

    Did you read the free plan?

    Where in the free plan does it tell you to explain NC to your ex?

    Read and follow the steps in the free plan.

    “But Scott there isn’t a part of the free plan that covers the ex’s response.”

    That’s right, because their response doesn’t mean shit, they are not even supposed to respond…you asked them not to.

    If you think NC is having no effect, and you truly believe that…you’re chance for success is fucked.

    What’s the point of following the plan, or my advice?

    Is this just something you’re doing to stay “busy”?

    If you want to give up…give up, but please stop asking dumb fucking questions, OK? 8)

    I don’t waste my time with people who can’t read, and follow a plan. :cursing:

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  45. Jonathan says:

    Haha, i totally agree with you :)
    Okay i wont respond. Ill follow the plan, And follow as i have been tought thanks for your insight :) :hurray: :party:

    Kick Loves arse :kickbutt:

  46. thursday2010 says:

    Hey, I admit I committed the whole contacting him before we’re ready thing and it backfired. He ended up telling me that we just weren’t emotionally equipped to handle each other. And that we’re not what the other is looking for – at least not right now in this particular stage of our lives.

    So I replied with an email, (before I even learned about the whole NC thing) said thanks for explaining it to me, agreed with his decision, wished him luck with everything in his life, and that I’ll always care for him…

    Now my problem is that I think my message sounded like a “goodbye forever” letter. I didn’t mean that. I just wanted to be the one to act maturely for once and respect him. I know we both needed space. But upon rereading my message, it seems like I was closing the doors on him forever.

    WHAT DO I DO NOW? I still want him back… How do I contact him first after that letter?

  47. S. Williams says:

    thursday2010 wrote:

    But upon rereading my message, it seems like I was closing the doors on him forever.

    WHAT DO I DO NOW? I still want him back… How do I contact him first after that letter?

    Read the free plan, and send the recommended NC message, word for word…no changes.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

    P.S. Don’t reply and tell me you will feel stupid sending another message. If you really want to succeed do what I told you, OK?

  48. Danielle says:

    We’ve been broken up for over a year, and I used this plan 3x (not the same exact NC letter as you offer now it was very different), I didn’t follow the rules as told and highly regret it because I did see it working. He was a girlfriend now; they break up constantly and he cheats on her with me, *or has many times. We have been talking in between the break up multiple times I have 3 major questions before I get started on the plan again:

    1. Do I send the NC letter, even under this circumstance
    2. His license is suspended, he can’t drive- therefore when I ask him to lunch would it be accepted if I were to drive him (there are no buses or taxis out here)
    3. The past experiances i’ve had with this is that he never follows through with the plans for lunch, or doesn’t give a straight answer or simply just invites me over for lunch at his house. How would I respond to that in an affective way?

  49. S. Williams says:

    Danielle wrote:

    I have 3 major questions before I get started on the plan again:

    I have one major question:

    Danielle wrote:

    He was a girlfriend now; they break up constantly and he cheats on her with me, *or has many times.

    How do you know he won’t cheat on you, like he does to her?

    I wouldn’t trust anyone who cheats on their present love…at all.

    That is what I call a lying, fucking scum bag. :cursing:

    Here’s my best advice:

    You don’t need a plan, you need a new love interest…start dating around your area, leave this asshole alone.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  50. lisa says:

    Hi,
    my ex broke up with me 2 months ago. After making all the usual mistakes of pleading, being angry with him, begging etc. I requested a last meeting which was a month ago.
    I met him and told him that I wouldnt want to see him ever again, dont want to be friends or get a happy birthday msg. He kissed me, hugged me, said “bye baby” and I literally ran outside the pub before he could see me crying.
    Since then there has been no contact.
    Will your NC msg still work or doesnt look it a bit odd after we already wished each other a good life?
    Cheers!

  51. S. Williams says:

    lisa wrote:

    Will your NC msg still work or doesnt look it a bit odd after we already wished each other a good life?

    The NC message written (word for word) is very effective, I have the success stories on my Blog, and in the forum to attest to it.

    If you want help getting your life/ex back again, read and follow all the steps in the free plan on my Blog.

    If you’re not interested I wish you luck somewhere else.

    Oh BTW – If you’re ‘really” worried about looking “a bit odd”, I would re-think trying to get your ex back after you wished each other a good life.

    If you’re more worried about getting your ex back, then looking “a bit odd”, the free plan works.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  52. lisa says:

    well i wanted to give my last appearance some dignity:-) thats why the good life bit
    Thanks for replying.
    I’ll do it.

  53. Sandy says:

    Hi Saul,

    I’ve been following your plan step-by-step and it really did seem to be working. However, my ex has suddenly got himself a new girlfriend. I am absolutely devastated. We split up nearly 9 months ago, and he hadn’t been seeing anyone during that time, hence I rated my chances of getting him back highly. Do you think there’s any point in trying to get him back now? I feel that too long a period of time has elapsed and now that he has a girlfriend I feel like giving up even though I love him so much.

    Thanks for your time.

  54. S. Williams says:

    Sandy wrote:

    We split up nearly 9 months ago, and he hadn’t been seeing anyone during that time, hence I rated my chances of getting him back highly. Do you think there’s any point in trying to get him back now?

    Hi,

    Who is “Saul”?

    Before you can get your ex back, you need to get yourself back first.

    Follow ALL the steps inf the free plan on my Blog, and start your personal evolution.

    Your ex needed to date so he can compare her to you, and that will make him miss you even more…count on it, OK? :wink:

    The first step to getting your ex back, is not wanting them back, it sounds crazy, but it is true, go read the Real Life Success Stories.

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  55. Sandy says:

    Hey Scott (sorry for getting your name wrong),

    Thanks again for the advice. My ex is now ignoring me completely since he has his new girlfriend and blew me off for coffee. Should I try no contact again? I can’t stand the thought of him not contacting me ever again! Even if exes have girlfriends will they still respond to no contact?

    Sorry for all the questions.

    Cheers :)

  56. S. Williams says:

    Sandy wrote:

    Even if exes have girlfriends will they still respond to no contact?

    Yes, they will…follow the steps in the free plan.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  57. Nigel says:

    Hi I’ve bought your e book and stuff enlisted on the extra help. I was wondering if you could advise me on this situation.
    My ex gf dumped me end jan 2010, we were still in contact for six weeks we are both adults together for three and half years living together.
    Four weeks ago she started nc on me and sent police around to tell me not to contact her. There is no third party on either side And she was always treated very good. What can I do. She meant the world to me

  58. S. Williams says:

    Nigel wrote:

    Hi I’ve bought your e book and stuff enlisted on the extra help.

    Hi,

    First of all, it is not “my book” it is written by TW Jackson.

    I just offer free support for people who ask for it, and use it correctly.

    Nigel wrote

    Four weeks ago she started nc on me and sent police around to tell me not to contact her.

    You need to consult a lawyer, I am NOT a lawyer.

    If she has a restraining order against you, or anything of that nature you better not try to contact her.

    Consult a lawyer and find out if you would be breaking the law if you sent her the recommended NC message as outlined in the free plan.

    Be careful, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  59. Sasha says:

    I was involved with my first guy for 2 years, but we never officially dated. We saw each other almost daily (sex & hanging out), but he always avoided talking about commitment because he was “emotionally unavailable”. Every time I tried to use the NC rule I failed – he has his way of charming me back in the whirlpool – but last month I was pretty serious about it: we either date or I’m out of here. He said “OK, as you wish” and stopped talking to me. I just found out he is in an official relationship with some girl he’s known for 2 weeks only!

    Do you think a strictly enforced NC would make him get over the pain and potentially make him have second thoughts, or is everything lost?

  60. Sasha says:

    Sasha wrote:

    Do you think a strictly enforced NC would make him get over the pain and potentially make him have second thoughts, or is everything lost?

    I meant would it make *me* get over the pain (not “him” – typo)

  61. Jake says:

    I did everything really, really wrong, for weeks…begging, pleading, trying to be friends, hanging out with the ex, having sex with her, to the point where we even agreed we shouldn’t talk to each other and then I still went back and convinced her to hang out and continued to call, text…to the point that she got sooo frustrated she basically had to read me the riot act and tell me she was going to follow through on what we decided (no contact) and that I had to also because what I was doing was wearing thin and she thought I wasn’t going to stop until she either got pissed off or disliked me…yeah, I messed this up big time.

    So since that time, I haven’t contacted her at all in almost two weeks.

    Here is the problem I see with sending the NC message: After all of that and how weak and clingy I let myself appear, to tell her that I’d appreciate it if SHE not contact ME will just seem absurd to her. I think things had gotten so bad that we both know the furthest thing from her mind right now is probably contacting me. In the last message that she left, when she said what I said she said above, she did say, “It’s hard cutting someone out of your life, but when you decide that’s what you have to do, that’s what you have to do.”

    So don’t you think going on almost 2 weeks of NC I could do more harm than good by sending a message that will seem kind of absurd (I think she will just roll her eyes at it and look at is as something that’s obvious and just another attempt of mine to get a response from her)?

    thanks

  62. S. Williams says:

    Jake says:

    So don’t you think going on almost 2 weeks of NC I could do more harm than good by sending a message that will seem kind of absurd (I think she will just roll her eyes at it and look at is as something that’s obvious and just another attempt of mine to get a response from her)?

    Hi,

    No, I don’t, and I have heard this argument many times, but if you truly understood the free plan, and how we use NC you would know that this about you, and has nothing to do with what your ex says, does, or feels.

    There is only one way to get your life back, and that is by sending the recommended NC message, and then follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan.

    Your choice.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  63. Jake says:

    OK, I hear you, but given the circumstances, I want to tweak the message in the following way. Remember that I have spent weeks and weeks never even suggesting I agreed with her decision, and it’s actually been a while since the initial break up, hence the change in the begining, just acknowledging that:

    I don’t think I’ve said this before now, but I agree with you about the decision to break up. I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you continued to not contact me during this time. I’ll be in touch when I’m ready.

    what do you think?
    thanks

    • S. Williams says:

      Jake says:

      what do you think?

      I think you should not change it, it will work better untouched.

      All you did was make it look like you’re trying to justify yourself…don’t do that.

      Read the success stories, the NC message kicks ass if you have the guts to use it correctly.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  64. Jake says:

    OK. I took your advice and sent it! Damn, that was really hard to do. I don’t anticipate any kind of reply to it. It felt kind of cold sending it and not completely genuine, I have to admit. Maybe because I guess I simply DON’T agree still with her decision.

    Oh well. One thing that was clear was that what I was doing wasn’t working.

    What if in the nearly two weeks or so since I last spoke to her she had started to soften a little and miss me? Could this message have reaffirmed her convictions?

    thanks,
    Jake

    • S. Williams says:

      Jake says:

      What if in the nearly two weeks or so since I last spoke to her she had started to soften a little and miss me? Could this message have reaffirmed her convictions?

      Hi,

      The “what ifs” will be your down fall.

      Here is what I suggest, and what I tell everyone who asks for advice on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan, and follow ALL the rest of the steps.

      You have already taken the hardest step, now use the rest of the plan, and it’s free support system.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  65. Bharati says:

    m in LDR past 1year..we met twice n got intimate.now he got a overseas job which means we cant meet for nxt 4 yrs n my family may pressurise me to marriage in about an year.he realised this n said we should be friends. I charged him for seducing me n breaking the promise of marriage.he got hurt.After two days he said..he left his high paying job n also wouldnot consider me again(breakup)..i begged n pleaded for a month after that.he was tough.he felt i questioned his character n integrity. n that trust was missing on my part.he said we ll are friends and ll be so in future.
    then i maintained two weeks NC.I stayed invisible in Y! n gtalk.he desperately waited(our log in n staying online timings r different…he coped to mine) for me but din try to call(i called him last jus a week after breakup)Then he posted on his blog that I know only deceiving and worth only death.nxt day I texted “I cant be friends after brkup..we shall move on”..he asked reason for this reaction.i said his definations(intentions) hurt me.now a week passed.I texted”how r u?” did not get any reply.. called twice..he dint lift..then sent SMS “ur silence is anger or ignoring..do I remind only pain n digust yet”..he called me n asked wt happened..n said that I messaged “lets not be friends” so he thot he shouldnt disturb me. he spoke v formally n no word about relationship.dint ask how i am.I did.n asked why i changed my idea of not being friends.n then phone line got cut.
    dear forum,how do I handle this situation.
    I told him that he should ask his friends about what people do in relationships.he is against telling personal things to others.his friends nobody knows that he is seeing me.I told him that few of my friends know that we r seeing each other which he dint like.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      There is only one way to get your life back, and that is by sending the recommended NC message, and then follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  66. Vindy says:

    I am maintaining NC last three weeks.
    I was in a long distance relationship keeping in touch mainly through chat and phone.
    he said we are friends and remain so. which i refused.
    I cut him off from all chat and social networking.
    now he doesnt contact me but he writes one hate post on his blog every week.why does he interpret my NC negatively?
    will this affect his coming back?

    • S. Williams says:

      Vindy says:

      I am maintaining NC last three weeks.

      Hi,

      Did you follow the free plan on my Blog?

      Vindy says:

      I cut him off from all chat and social networking.
      now he doesnt contact me but he writes one hate post on his blog every week.why does he interpret my NC negatively?
      will this affect his coming back?

      People get upset when you take away the power they hold over you by trying to keep you in the just friends zone.

      It’s funny how your ex boyfriend wanted to be friends real bad, and then when you refused, now he hates you?

      It is all a bullshit act, go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps to get your ex boyfriend back by getting your life back first.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  67. Hannah says:

    My ex boyfriend broke up with me in July. We were long distance so didn’t talk much over the summer and he broke up with me then. Because it was summer and there were many things to preoccupy my time, the breakup didn’t seem to affect me as I thought it would. I even thought I was over it. I sent him a message saying:

    “I just want to let you know that I am totally okay with the break up. But seriously, a lot of amazing things have been happening that I wouldn’t change for the world and I know that the breakup really was for the best. So no hard feelings–I actually knew it was heading in that direction long before you said anything.”

    School began again and since this last week I’ve been really stressed by his presence. He immediately, by the end of the week, got into a relationship with another girl and was really awkward around me. He asked if he could start dating again early in the week because he didn’t believe my first message and I said “of course, we broke up.”

    The relationship between him and this new girl is really putting a strain on my nerves. I guess I wasn’t as over him as I thought previously (of course it being summer and never seeing him probably had an impact on it). So my question is that even though I sent that message to him and then said I was “cool with him dating,” do I still send a NC message again? (this template) ? I will see him every day because of where I go to school.

    Or should I change the message just a bit to say that though I agree with everything and am cool with him dating, I would still appreciate he not contact me?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hannah says:

      So my question is that even though I sent that message to him and then said I was “cool with him dating,” do I still send a NC message again? (this template) ? I will see him every day because of where I go to school.

      Or should I change the message just a bit to say that though I agree with everything and am cool with him dating, I would still appreciate he not contact me?

      Hi,

      Don’t use the excuse that you will see him everyday to edit the NC message, and fuck up NC, OK?

      That previous message sucked, you need to send the recommended NC as outlined in the free plan without any changes, that is if you want the best results, if not do whatever you please.

      Once/if you send the appropriate NC message follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  68. abhi says:

    I broke up with my bf two months ago..n maintaining NC
    After a month or so.. once we chatted.. I was bit rude and closed it quickly..
    Immediately ..I sent the nc message ..he did not reply..
    later after one week …he caught me online.. n aasked if I am ok now or still unsure..
    I said ok.. then he asked if he could call.. I said yes..
    He asked me 1. why I had to send the message when he never disturbed me
    2. what big decisions I had to make
    3. asked me pressingly what I am thinking

    I told him ..I just didnt want to keep in touch after breakup and
    my big decisions were tht.. I was asked by friends n parents ..if I am going to look for marriage proposals..for which I told I needed time.

    I felt I could not answer well.. well..because I am not feeling fully secure thinking away from relationship..
    I shall maintain strict NC now.. until he calls me by himself..

    What do u advise?.. btw we r in LDR..keeping in touch thru chat mostly n phone calls..
    I wish to meet him this november during holiday season when we both go home..before that I want to stick to NC. n reconnect during that month.

    Thanks in advance!

    • S. Williams says:

      Abhi says:

      What do u advise?.. btw we r in LDR..keeping in touch thru chat mostly n phone calls..
      I wish to meet him this november during holiday season when we both go home..before that I want to stick to NC. n reconnect during that month.

      Hi,

      The reason your last contact didn’t go well was because you broke no contact too soon.

      I would advise that you re-send the recommended no contact message (without changes), and then follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan on my Blog.

      Make sure you read the entire free plan, and understand how it works before you re-send your NC message.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  69. tiffany says:

    Hey, so i did the NC letter and i got the most random email from my ex today (NC message sent almost 2wks ago) it was a forwarded email to like 6 other people but still. he had to put my email in to send to me. It was just of a link… to pills you can buy online. i dont get why he emailed me uselessness. Is he trying to get me to break no contact or randomly sent an email accidently to me?

  70. Michelle.A.J says:

    hi
    my ex posted on his blog in third person..our breakup affair n my NC.
    He claims love from girl’s side is no more present but he cant push away the girl from his memories.
    its been more than 30 days of jus no chat though online initially then 50 days of strict NC. though he traces my invisible status on Y! and comes online. he dint contact me on phone or offline message since my no contact.
    jus once he called asking me about decisions. but then I resent the NC message later.
    I feel hez waiting for me to initiate..i now understand that he wouldnt..from his blog story.
    next month both of us ll be home in the same city.so i see it an opportunity to reconnect
    should I talk from this place n arrange ?
    I need your advice because this is not fully LDR..we can talk n have web cam chats and family traditions like getting engaged soon at this age.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It doesn’t sound like you were following the free plan when you started no contact with your ex boyfriend.

      You can try reading the last part of the free plan for advice about reconnecting with your ex boyfriend in an LDR situation.

      If your reconnection fails I would advise you to start the free plan from the beginning, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  71. MP says:

    I have initiated NC (about a week ago) however my ex is constantly on a dating site (plenty of fish) and has been since we split up (about 4 weeks ago). I won’t go into detail about the whole story, but the long and short of it is after we finished she still led me on for a few weeks whilst being on this site and when i confronted her about it she went mental and basically told me she hated me, never loved me, never wanted to speak to me again, wasted 12 months of her life on me, she was fucking someone else (turned out to be a lie to hurt me), but she had found someone she liked (this was all just before NC commenced)…

    I am sticking to NC, but being able to see she’s online (all the time) is making me very uneasy…and making me think she’s just going to move on. Its very odd as she was the last person I though would do this.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I don’t know how you are using no contact, but if you are not following the free plan, you’re not using it correctly.

      The free plan is not about how to get your ex girlfriend back, it is about getting your life back first.

      Stop worrying about what your ex girlfriend is doing, and start focusing on healing yourself, getting past the break up, and getting your life back again.

      This will make you much more attractive to your ex girlfriend in the future…make sense?

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  72. MP says:

    *its an LDR btw

  73. staystrong says:

    Ok. I have to ask this after reading a few breakup and NC posts. Is it normal for an ex to break up with you in an email and then never hear from him again? It’s been 3 weeks. I sent the NC message, nothing. I had sent 4 other emails before this site and nothing. I am just wondering if this is a sign that he has moved on. It seems unlikely I will ever hear from him again.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      The only way to know if your ex has moved on or not, is to be able to read his mind, can you read minds?

      I didn’t think so, because if you could you wouldn’t be here asking your question, right?

      You can’t control what other people do, and you can’t read their minds, so why should you wait for them to tell you what to do?

      You shouldn’t…

      You use the free plan to get your life back, and then make an intelligent decision about what to do about your ex later on.

      But you have to get your life back first, understand?

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      It doesn’t matter if your ex comes back or not, the old relationship with your ex is gone, you need to let go of that and move on.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – Once you have your life back, you can learn how to attract anything you want into your life, by learning the secret to manifestation here:

      The Quantum Cook Book

      You don’t have to wait for good karma to find you, you can attract it.

      You can get the kind of love you want and deserve, if you know how to attract it.

  74. normadine says:

    How do you know when you’re ready? Well the best answer to that question would be when you didn’t need to ask that question at all…you”ll just know it inside. Everyone evolves at their own pace…it’s not a race. If you have your emotions under control you won’t be so jumpy to go ahead when you know you’re not ready. That is why I advise everyone to work on yourself before trying to involve someone else (your ex). DO NOT RUSH THROUGH NO CONTACT.

    if you have your emotions under control you won’t be so jumpy to go ahead when you know you’re not ready. ?????? huh

    lol so like if ur not jumpy or anxious, ur ready or the opposite?

    and of the reaching out to ex for NC dk how to go about it. he changed his cell number perhaps tho i have it cuz i got a text from him about a month later we stopped talking and that was in October of 2010. do i double check the number with the sister or mutual friend or just send the text to the new number i got a text from him recently or well about 3 months ago? i can also do email too….hope it’s the same one too. was thinking facebook message, but i may just delete my fb account temporarily since not having a virtual life was suggested to be better…

    finally, when contacting how do we go about it? i know long distance is skype, web cam is an option, a call too perhaps? and in person it’s the thrilling date/meet like sky diving correct? the approach is just that: want to chat/meet up; something like that? i wouldn’t want to make it over indulging and under qualified for the meet/chat…

    let me know, ur great at what u do it seems! keep it coming and much respect and props for doing this all on your and willing to help others. greatly appreciated and grateful. i actually have ran onto this website twice, might be a reason to try it out? :) hope all is well

  75. normadine says:

    I hope the exes or someone of the exes don’t copy/paste the NC message, but I did that to see if there was search results and they were…

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I have addressed this concern waaaay too many times…lol

      Because this plan is about getting your life back, and NOT about getting your ex back, it doesn’t matter who knows about the free plan or the NC message.

      If you truly understood the whole (simple) purpose of NC you would be clear on this…keep reading and learning until you do.

      What is the whole purpose of the no contact rule?

      If you don’t know the “correct” answer to that question, please do not attempt to use the free plan, OK?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – This is a free self-help program.

  76. T says:

    Hi,
    My ex and I were together for nearly 4 years but we were married a year then he broke up with me. We met in my country and then we had a long distance relationship. He came and live over in my country a few times in last 3 years, we didn’t get to see each other much because I always away traveling on my business. Till one day he asked me to married him and decided to move back to his country. A year later he broke up with me because he thought we can’t get along.
    I know our marriage life was a boring routine and I didn’t show him enough I love and care about him,not much physical contact between us. I think he felt lost and loveless. He went up and ask an advice from a girl at his work and it is turn out he likes her :(

    It has been 4 weeks since the break up. I had to live with him in the same house for last 3 weeks before I have moved back to my country.It was so painful seeing him being cold to me…I think he is now dating someone else, it hurts me even more…

    Since I got back, I email him once just to asked if he is OK? Then he replied and complained he tired to contact me to see if I am ok but I didn’t respond for him. Then I have read your blog and I have sent him NC message 3 days ago. He seems to be responding or he doesn’t care? I didn’t hear anything back from him at all…

    He is still on my facebook list I have blocked him but somehow I added him back on and he acept my request within 5 mins! This is breaking the NC rule?, shall I not let him see what is going on with my life at all? Or it is ok if he has seen what has been happening with my life through facebook. I have never contact him since I have sent the NC message over.It is so so hard but I will keep NC message going.

    Thanks

    T

    • S. Williams says:

      T says:

      He is still on my facebook list I have blocked him but somehow I added him back on and he acept my request within 5 mins! This is breaking the NC rule?, shall I not let him see what is going on with my life at all? Or it is ok if he has seen what has been happening with my life through facebook.

      Hi,

      You would be much better off just closing your facebook account while you use the free plan…why?

      Because the temptation to look at your ex’s account will be very strong, and if you do look I am sure he will have some thing he wants you to see on there, that will only upset you.

      Once you take control with NC your ex will try to get you to break it, so they can feel like they still have you on the hook.

      If you’re serious about getting your life back, don’t fuck around with facebook.

      The NC message is only the first step, make sure you read the free plan and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  77. T says:

    Hi,
    I have not contact my ex for nearly a week after my nc message.Is it OK if I want to contact my ex’s sister. Will it break the rule? I am a good fiend of her and I need her to help me get my tax return paperwork from my ex as I am living in different country with my ex. I don’t want to email or call him to ask about it because I don’t want to break the rule.

    Thanks
    T

    • S. Williams says:

      T says:

      I need her to help me get my tax return paperwork from my ex as I am living in different country with my ex. I don’t want to email or call him to ask about it because I don’t want to break the rule.

      Hi,

      You can contact your ex to resolve financial matters, just keep it about the tax forms, and nothing else.

      If your ex boyfriend asks about NC, the NC message, the break up, or your personal life, just reply with “I am not ready to talk about that right now, lets stick to the subject, OK?”, and then bring the conversation right back to your tax forms.

      If you would rather have someone else do that for you, that will work as well, but contacting your ex over shared matters like: finances, business, legal issues, or children is NOT breaking NC.

      Contacting your ex and discussing the break up, NC, or your personal dating life IS breaking no contact.

      This is explained in the free plan, just follow all the links about the no contact rule.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  78. Jerry says:

    Me and my ex have been casually dating almost a month now, in the “momu” it says that i should have sex with her as soon as possible. Well we did, ironically almost immediately afterwards, the guy that she just started seeing called. Its not like their in a relationship or something and she said that she had a great time and doesn’t regret us having sex. However, she later told me that she felt bad about what had just taken place. this happened about a week ago. Then Yesterday, while we were on the phone planning our next get together, she said next time we’re together we are not having sex. What does this mean? She’s been calling me and initiating all of our conversations. But why would she blurt out not sex without warning?

    • S. Williams says:

      Jerry says:

      Then Yesterday, while we were on the phone planning our next get together, she said next time we’re together we are not having sex. What does this mean?

      Hi,

      The obvious answer would be she wanted to be up front about where the date was going, and where is wasn’t going..

      And maybe it is a test to see if sex was the only reason you got back together and started dating her again.

      Something tells me that the whole love making thing didn’t go over too well with her, maybe it was too soon?

      I didn’t write the book MOMU, and I don’t understand why it is important to have sex right away.

      Except for the obvious reason, it feels great.

      If anything, sex clouds the issues, why?

      Is it a physical, or emotional relationship?

      I think you should definitely establish a solid emotional relationship before bringing sex into the the picture.

      Just back off the sexual part of the relationship, and wait for her to initiate it next time.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  79. Marie says:

    Hello Scott,

    I’m scared, and devastated. I left you a couple of messages previously, so thanks for the advice you’ve already given me. I just found out that my ex is starting to date other girls. I made the mistake of logging back into my online profile, and seeing pictures he posted with his arm around her. We’ve been broken up for a month to the day. I feel that there’s no chance anymore. I never wrote the NC letter, because i purchase TW’s book several weeks ago, and didn’t see it mentioned until I read the “Mind Reading” book of his. In that book he said it was best to send it if the break up were a week old or younger…this was not my case by the time I bought the book.

    Is it too late for me? I’ve been busy with my own life, and I am happy half of the time, but this news just brought me waaaay down. Also, he is stopping by to get the rest of his stuff tomorrow. I know to be strong during that moment and not discuss personal info. but I fear he has moved on for good.

    He had, after all, told me that he had been having doubts about our relationship since summer time…though he didn’t officially call it off with me until February. I feel that because of this he moved on long ago…

    Any input? Thanks so much in advance.

    • S. Williams says:

      Marie says:

      but I fear he has moved on for good.

      Hi,

      Let’s address this remark first, OK?

      If you are afraid, you attract more fear, and fear is a negative feeling, obviously.

      The first thing you MUST do is put your fears, and negative emotions on a leash by creating positive feelings in your life, in anyway you can.

      We have started a topic about this very subject in our forum:

      The Law of Attraction and Relationships

      Go take a look at this topic and read all the posts, I think it will switch on a light if you read them enough times.

      Do you know why break ups hurt so much?

      Because people will not let the negative feelings go, and they dwell on them as if by punishing themselves long enough, things will turn around, but they won’t.

      They will only get worst…guaranteed.

      The law of attraction is proof.

      Marie says:

      Is it too late for me? I’ve been busy with my own life, and I am happy half of the time, but this news just brought me waaaay down. Also, he is stopping by to get the rest of his stuff tomorrow. I know to be strong during that moment and not discuss personal info.

      This is a PERFECT opportunity to send the correct no contact message, the one outlined in the free plan.

      Do not discuss anything with him when he comes for his stuff, make the exchange, and get out of there.

      If you feel this will be too hard for you, have someone else do it for you.

      After he comes to get his stuff, send him the message. and do not change the wording.

      After that don’t worry about anything except following the free plan, and finding ways to make yourself happy.

      If you don’t let go of the break up, and start creating more positive energy (feelings) in your life, your situation will remain the same or even get worst.

      Go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  80. Marie says:

    Wow, all of that makes perfect sense. I’m gonna stick to the activities I’ve been doing, and really try to focus on them while I’m doing them, instead of letting my mind wander…

    Also, I’m kind of mixing a couple of NC letters, most of it is coming from TW’s book though. What do you think of this?:

    Hi ____,

    I just wanted to send you a quick note to say that I agree, your decision to split up was probably the right thing for the both of us. I’m totally okay about it. If I’m honest, it seemed to be in the stars for a while. I also wanted to say I’m sorry for making it so emotional; that was unnecessary. Oh! I had some great news come my way the other day! I’d love to fill you in…but in the future. You and I both need some space right now.

    –Me

    • S. Williams says:

      Marie says:

      Also, I’m kind of mixing a couple of NC letters, most of it is coming from TW’s book though. What do you think of this?

      Hi,

      There is a lot of useful information in the book MOMU, but the letter sucks.

      That is why I created a better no contact message for the free plan.

      Everyone that has used the recommended NC message in the free plan has experienced much better results.

      In my opinion, the second chance letter was created for after a quarrel, not a serious break up.

      The NC message in the free plan, draws a line in the sand, and kick starts both yours/his personal/emotional evolutions.

      Of course the choice is yours, but I really think you will feel better after sending the NC message I recommend (without changes).

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  81. Marie says:

    P.S. How do I keep from having small talk with him if he begins to ask me about how I am or what I’ve been up to? How can I keep the conversations strictly about business without being rude or immature?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      This is covered in the free plan, read it for more ideas.

      Just tell him; “I do not want to talk about any of this right now, let’s just focus on the exchange and be on our way”.

      If he doesn’t respect your wish to avoid certain subjects, then he becomes the “rude immature” one, right?

      Always be polite, until you are not allowed to be polite anymore, if he insists on forcing the issue then just grab your stuff, say “goodbye” and leave.

      Once you get home, send the recommended no contact message and follow ALL the steps in the free plan.

      You are always in control.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  82. T says:

    Hi,
    I have been following no contact rule, and have been moving on my life since I sent him NC message 2 weeks ago. I am getting better and feel good about myself even more. Today I got a text from my ex ” I hope you are OK? It is strange here ATM” I don’t really know what does he want? Shall I just reply his text? Or I should just ignore him.

    Thanks
    T

  83. S. Williams says:

    T says:

    Shall I just reply his text? Or I should just ignore him.

    Hi,

    Two weeks is NOT enough time, figure on about 4-6 months (or more) to really see the best results from no contact.

    With that being said, just ignore his obvious attempt to “test the waters”, and stick to NC.

    Make sure you are following ALL the steps in the free plan.

    Thank you for writing.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

    • T says:

      Thanks,
      I think I need to start it over again. He said he is now ready to talk about what happened when he broke up with me. I shouldn’t open up the door for him too soon!
      Anyway It has been only 2 weeks NC process but I feel so much stronger and I don’t really care how the relationship with him turn up anymore. I am ready for anything. I can live without him for sure :) Thank you again for bring me back alive.

  84. Jerry says:

    Me and my ex been doing pretty good so far, but we kinda got into an argument after she brought up how hard it is to please two people(me and the new guy) and keeps on setting boundaries on what we can do. For example, all of a sudden,no kissing and cuddling. Her excuse is that it might confuse her and make things harder.This has to be the the 3rd time this week alone that shes brought this up nd it really pissed me off. How can we move forward if you’re constantly worried about someone else? How can we make progress if you’re holding back? Everytime we get together and enjoy ourself, its like she feels bad about it when its all over. She says it because she doesnt want to hurt anybodys feelings. I feel like if she really wants us to work and loves me like she claims then she should have no problem focusing on me. Im not even asking for a relationship. I planned on waiting a few more weeks before we talked about focusing on each other. But since the problem continued to arise, i told her that she needs to make a decision now. Was I wrong?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It sounds like she is having fun pulling on your chain, don’t wait for her to make a decision, since you are NOT happy, break it off, and start NC to evolve past the break up.

      This will get you out of her little game, and reveal her true feelings for you.

      Stop chasing her, and let her focus full time on this other guy.

      Go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  85. Jerry says:

    And if I was wrong. What should I do now?

  86. Marie says:

    Hey there,

    I just wanted to thank you for all of the advice, but after seeing him today for the last time, I realize that I no longer have any interest in rekindling that relationship.

    I was just suffering from a broken heart, that I now know I don’t have.

    I have some exciting prospects on the horizon now, starting with dinner tonight. Can’t wait!

  87. Ariel says:

    Hey Scott

    In January my ex boyfriend broke up with me and we were broken up for about a month. We then tried to work things out again but ended up breaking up again about a week ago. We were engaged and together for about 2 years. I feel like I broke all the rules like it says in this blog and my ex told me that he doesn’t love me anymore and a lot of other hurtful things. They keep replaying in my head and I cant stop thinking about what I could have done to make this work. We were so in love and were inseparable. I don’t know how he could tell me all these hurtful things after all we have been through. He did not answer any of my calls and it seems he is doing his own thing now days. I really want him back and I really thought we were meant to be. I sent the NC message yesterday and I also bought the Magic of Making up ebook. Your site really helps dealing with the break up but I’m just worried about my ex finding someone new and liking life more without me in it. I am going to go through with the plan though. I”m trying to really be positive in this working! Just thought you could give me a little more hope in this working out.

    Thanks!

    • S. Williams says:

      Ariel says:

      I’m just worried about my ex finding someone new and liking life more without me in it.

      Hi,

      You have a 50/50 chance of getting your ex back, which gets better everyday you stop chasing him, and start doing things right.

      Your ex boyfriend could not just fall out of love with you like that, 2 years and an engagement doesn’t just disappear, but you have to stop panicking, and let the old relationship go…it wasn’t working, that’s why it ended.

      You need to stop trying to prevent the break up, leave your ex alone, and work on pulling yourself back together (get your life back).

      I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s.

      I explain this in more detail in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Let go of the old relationship, have faith in true love, work on getting your life back, and you will be happy again…I promise!

      No one wants to be in a relationship with a desperate, needy, insecure person.

      You can not attract love that way…make sense?

      Go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  88. Sandylien says:

    I am so distraught and heartbroken. My friend who I was corresponding and seeing off and on for 20 years broke it off with me and wanted to remain friends with me ” with or without sex”. For the past 6 months he and I exchanged letters and sexy pictures( we’re a a distance from each other) almost 10 times a day. We met in Vermont and had a fantastic time, sex was unbelievable! Then we met in Florida and sex was wonderful .We brought each other tons of things as presents to one another. We hugged what felt like 5 minutes at the airport. I did sex acts for Jim that his ex wives never did for him. But when I returned his emails were very neutral and didn’t respond hardly at all. He said it was a mistake to send those sexy pictures and emails and ” sorry for the confusion ” and will write about anything else. Now we were doing this for over 6 months already. He said the next time we could meet is 6 months from now in another part of the country. He said ” don’t get me wrong , the sex was great”. But he haid ” what has happened i was afraid would happen”. I was always affectionate, totally respectful and appreciative of him. I wrote to him telling me I felt like he was pushing me away. He said he wasn’t pushing but he wont write fantasies or exchange pics with me anymore. I asked him if he has a girlfriend and he said no and he wasn’t even looking for one until and doesn’t want a commited relationship until his son graduates from HS( in about 4 years) . my confusion lies with he constantly emailed me, and now nothing! When I said I could fly up to his area sooner than 6 months, he told me he was so busy until October, and we would have to abhor for that time. I am de aster! He emotionally and physically pulled away overnight. We had a marvelous time on our last trip, I don’t understand it!!! I had to start no contact for myself for 2 days already. Of course he didn’t write to be back before NC! I just cry all day long! What’s going on? Will NC help me to write to be back? Please help.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I help people get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The answers do not lie in the past, they are waiting for you once you begin your personal evolution.

      Using the no contact rule correctly will not only help you get your life back, but it will also reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings for you as well.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  89. karma says:

    Made every mistake possible except for ex sex. I initiated the break up since he was emotionally distant and was finding excuses to fight about anything and eveything, but I never meant it i guess I just wanted to go back to how we used to be. I said it was my final decision. However, the next day I went back to find out he made a decision to move on after our serious 2 1/2 yrs together plus marriage talks. he’s 28 I’m 26. He said he felt trapped, wanted his freedom, not feeling it anymore, dont want a commitment, wants to find someone better, called me a liability – funny that considering I took up a crappt job and put my degree aside to support us financially for 8 effn months while all he did was play video games argh :’( !! It’s been 3 months since the breakup. I’ve done all the begging n pleading. Sent a NC text msg a month ago, broke it in 2 weeks. Pushed to reconcile again and again – epic fail lol. He said he doesn’t want to meet up or talk or txt or anything anymore. He said he liked another woman and was considering a long term relationship with her….(yeah goodluck with that peter pan) lol. I handled It calmly. He Wished me all the best 3 weeks ago and since that day, i havent contacted him. I probably should have sent another NC msg to get that power back, but didn’t, I forgot about it. It was my bday on the 12th, he text me: happy birthday karma. I wish you nothing but the best in life. Be yourself and be happy. Take care and god bless. I txt back the next day “thank you”. Been a week now.

    Should I send another NC msg? How do I word it? He doesn’t contact me anyway. Your thoughts Scott? Yes this time I’m gonna follow the plan seriously and not confuse myself and give into weak moments.

    • S. Williams says:

      karma says:

      Should I send another NC msg? How do I word it? He doesn’t contact me anyway. Your thoughts Scott? Yes this time I’m gonna follow the plan seriously and not confuse myself and give into weak moments.

      Hi,

      Use the recommended no contact message as outlined in the free plan…word for word.

      It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t contacted you, this is in-case he thinks about contacting you in the future, he needs to know where you stand without a doubt, make sense?

      There is a reason I help people get their lives back and not to get their ex boyfriends back, and I explain it in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  90. karma says:

    Hey Scott,

    Sent that NC message word for word.
    Thanks for the advice :)

  91. Alan says:

    Hi, My long distance girlfriend called it off with me one week ago. This was quite shocking for me since it was only two weeks ago that she had booked flights to come and spend a weekend with me mid-way through May. What also surprised me during the breakup call is that she said she will still be coming over for the trip and will be staying with her cousin(same town that I live in). She said that she is scared to spend that weekend with me for fear of being horrible to me, since she feels the distance and time issues are too much now for the relationship to succeed.(We both live in the UK – 1 hour flight)

    We had been seeing each other since meeting in my home town on Xmas 2010 and while the distance was tough for us both she had mentioned about making future plans with possibly moving away together etc.
    During the breakup call I did mention that we had the chance to retrace some locations where we first met/first dates which made her feel sad/depressed. Should I try and use these emotions again?

    I accepted her withdrawl and said I respect her decision. She said that we couldn’t not meet up when she visits in May. Since the call I didn’t make any sort of contact until yesterday. She sent me a text hoping i was ok and having a great weekend. I responded later that day with a similar text and that was all. I don’t understand why she told me that she missed me/thinks i’m the best thing that happened to her etc on the phone and then breaks up with me after she had booked flights to come and spend time with me!

    How do I handle this for the next two weeks before she comes over? I would like to make her aware that I would also like to move to a different location with her but I don’t think she thought I was very serious about that possibility. Obviously I don’t have time on my side in this situation since its a distance thing and I probably won’t see her again after her May visit. How does no contact help me here?

    I already know my girlfriends cousin and she is trying to help me take the right path.

    Edit – I didn’t initiate any contact with her after the breakup…only responded to her text.

  92. James says:

    Hi scott

    Me and my girlfriend of 4 years broke up about one month ago i did all the mistakes i called her over 100 times aday messged her like 80 times a day ,rocking up to her house at all times of the night doing all crazy shit this went on for about 2weeks so i decided to leave her alone for a while but while i was leaving her alone i was getting incontact with her friends to see if she is alright and how she was doing i ended up braking after 10 days so i went to her house with a box of flowers and a love letter i made she wasnt happy she sent me a message “u think a buch of flowers and a letter some1 else rote for you is gnna make me take you back..pffft its to late… and stop fukin cuming to my house you stalker ….and stop fukin annoying my mates they dont want to get involved so just stop..move on with your life grow up coz i will be”

    I had replied to that message “look im not stalking you i just wanted to give u that letter that i rote coz it was from my heart …the only reason i contacted your friends was to try help us out because it seems your friends have a big influence on u to keep you away from me but if thats what makes you happy to not talk to me and not contact me after a 4 year realationship then so be it.. But as i sed in the letter ull always have a place in my heartand never ever be scared to contact me koz im always here fot you … Just remember i cared when nobody else did and if some1did
    i cared more”

    I have noway of getting incontact now she has changed her number on me she also sed when we first broke up that shes much happier being single that shes free she dosnt have me on her back that she dosnt want a future with me the reason i think she broke up with me was kozz she sed i wasnt treating her right i was always angry at her shes also sed that i have changed im not the same anymore.

    Im just confuzed i dont no whatvto do please help i miss her and really want her back :(

  93. James says:

    Its been about 6 days i havnt contacted her should i still find a way to send the NC message should i send a letter by post

    And if i follow the free plan will my life be bavk on track with my ex girlfriend :)

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Yes, you need to send the recommended NC message as outlined in the plan.

      If you follow the free plan to get your ex back correctly, you have a 50/50 chance of starting a new relationship with your ex girlfriend, and a 100% chance of getting your life back.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  94. natasa says:

    hello
    i never thiuth i would write to u.
    i think i would never have the chance again i think i screwd up after 6 years of being together he left from the home we where living together i started begging crying its 2 months know and i am still doing this…
    i cant stop i miss him so much my life has falling apart i lost my job i lost alot of pounds i even tried to kill my self im so depressed i feel like im helpless…

  95. Liz says:

    Hi, I really don’t know how to start to get my life back…It’s been about 3 months since my break up with my ex boyfriend and 2 months since we last talked. I sent a NC message before I came to your site. It was similar, but I added that we should be friends in the future…

    I made plenty of mistakes during our break up and begged/cried in front of him and I think my NC message wasn’t as affected as it could have been. It’s too late now to send another one, because he has a new girlfriend…I thought it could be a rebound

    Do you have any tips on getting over this break up?! Or getting him to at least talk to me? It’s been a while and he hasn’t even tried talking to me…I feel like I wasted my time being with him as a couple and now he just doesn’t even seem to care for me. I’m not crying anymore, but I really need some advice on how to get him out of my head or to stop feeling jealous about his new relationship.

    I just feel pathetic because I miss him so much but at the same time I want to get over it. I haven’t talked to him in almost 3 months now it’s still hard for me to see him move on and not even try to contact me…I don’t know…

    What do you think? I’ve already looked at your plan and everything else on this site! Thank you very much for your help.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Looking at my site isn’t the same as following the free plan.

      If you want to get your life back quickly you need to use the no contact rule correctly.

      It is never too late to send the recommended NC message, why?

      Because this is about starting your personal evolution, not getting your ex back.

      It doesn’t matter what he is doing.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      If you want my advice, I say to send the right NC message, and get your personal evolution started ASAP.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  96. Liz says:

    Sorry I meant effective, instead of affected*

  97. Liz says:

    Wouldn’t he think it would be weird, since we have already been not having contact for a long time now?

  98. Liz says:

    WAIT. You’re right. I shouldn’t be caring about what HE is doing or what HE is thinking. I should only care about myself…correct? Only fix myself and move on from this failed relationship?

    I think I know what I should be doing, but I always have thoughts of him and our good times. Do you know how I can try to forget this? It’s just that no matter what I do, something always has to remind me of him! even unconsciously. :(

    Thanks for all your help, I’m sorry for the bother. I appreciate your time and advice though.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Using the no contact rule correctly will help you evolve past the break up, and move on from the old failed relationship.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back fast, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  99. Hanna says:

    I was dating my boyfriend for 9 months. I was told that not most high school relationships lasts forever. But from out of the blue he told me that it was over.He felt as if the relationship was too long for him and that I deserve someone better(Also mentioning we had nothing in common). I have tried the NC rule and avoided him. Buts its not working! Is there any hope for getting an ex-bf back? It’s been 4 days and i miss him so much! Please help!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hanna says:

      I have tried the NC rule and avoided him. Buts its not working!

      Hi,

      That is NOT how you correctly use the no contact rule to reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings.

      That’s why you feel like it is not working.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  100. alice says:

    Hi,first i want to offer my special thanks to dear S.W.YOU are just a real coach i asked Goddy to send me in this situation. my ex and I were lovers for more than 2 years,everything were going well but some small arguments which were over without the real cause of it be solved. little by little these unsolved small problems made me sooooo angry to the boiling point. till then i was like an angel who appreciated him, understood his situations,loved him but suddenly i turned to a nagging girl and said i want to break up on and on, but he didn take me serious. until i messaged him all my angry words in purpose to hurt him as a revenge for my hurt feelings :( after that he replied OK EVERYTHING IS OVER!!!!! i told him i am sorry i really didn mean that i was js angry with his not paying attention to me.I massaged him 10 times and called him several but no reply!!!!!!!(and i didnt contact him anymore) it is now 4 days and i wonder if he really meant a break up or he will come back soon after become calm.i want to add that these days he is really busy and i think he will think over our argument later and find it an ordinary one and will contact me. we were planning to marry. he always told me that I am the only girl he does not have problem with. but his sudden decision is somehow strange for me! I want to know if NC massage is a good idea in my case?what should i do now??

    tnx beforehand dear S.W.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It seems like these “unsolved small problems” need to be addressed, and if you keep sweeping these problems under the rug it will eventually lead to the end of your relationship completely.

      A break up is the end of one phase of a relationship, and possibly the beginning of the next phase…if it was meant to be.

      I think using the no contact rule to reveal his true feelings would be a great idea, just use the NC message agreeing to his decision to break up.

      The words: “OK EVERYTHING IS OVER!!!!!” says breakup to me.

      Don’t worry, life is one long evolution, and change is inevitable.

      If you learn to “grow” with the changes, and you will find your true happiness.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get your man back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  101. alice says:

    Ok you’re right. your words heal my wounded heart in a great way. i live in Iran and we speak in Persian, so the translation of NC message seems a little unconventional for me, esp. the last part of it,anyway i will do it asap. in your above reply you mentioned ” just use the NC message agreeing to his decision to break up”!! do you mean i should write js the first part of NC message or the whole one!

    tnx for your consideration

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Use the whole version that was written for when your ex breaks up with you, this is all outlined in the free plan to get your ex back, just follow ALL the links for NC and read the information.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  102. alice says:

    hi, I have sent the NC message exactly like the sample one. first i hesitated to send it or not!!!i thought a little foolish to ask him not to contact me since he didn’t do it till we broke up!but now i feel extremely happy and satisfied i did send it. it made me feel free of sitting and waiting for his call!!!NOW it is me who decides when to contact ;)and as i guess he didnt reply! also i feel at the beginning of an exciting journey.. I know the last relationship had a lot of simple problems which were at the first place my own fault. i was a little needy girl and he was misusing my weakness.he was great to me if i knew how to be strong and self-confident. i made a lot of mistakes. but it is not the end of the world. he told me when we broke up i will lose weight ( i was thin but he encouraged me to gain some weight :) ) but i have decided to eat well and i continue going to the gym! i will dance every evening to improve my dance skill. it is a new world to explore in my soul! dear Scott, I am completely ready for this evolution! :) and a question, now in NC period should i be completely far away form his radar? disappearing from the earth?
    tnx for your care and kind support

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I would highly suggest staying off all social networks, and removing him from your social network accounts.

      Live in the real world, not the virtual one.

      In the virtual world (social network sites) it is oh so easy for him to keep tabs on what you are doing…it is none of his business.

      The no contact rule works more efficiently when you cut him him out of your social circle, and you stay out of his.

      How to handle running into him in public is covered in one of the many articles about NC that is linked to the free plan to get your ex back.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  103. Jessica says:

    Hi,

    I have sent the recommended NC message and was not expecting him to reply back.But guess what he replied back saying

    “Sorry but what is this!! i didn’t understand it. when did i contact u ? you are absolutely free ..u need not to get in touch with me for anything..”

    So I am confused what to do??Does that mean I should reply back because his reply made me sound silly to him..

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      This is a normal reaction, don’t worry, and don’t reply.

      You pissed him off with your NC message, and he is trying to confuse you and make you feel silly…Good Job!

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get your guy back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  104. kaykay says:

    Hey there! I have a question. My boyfriend left me 3weeks ago now. Last week before even coming upon this site I told him that I agreed with the breakup and it was time for me to move on and that im sure we will talk again one day. I did that on my own..however it was his birthday yesterday and I did send him a quick “happy birthday!” and he replied to me. But I left it like that and never said anything further. I do not have to send a NC message do I? Since I feel that would look rather odd since ive already said it once… Ive deleted him from fb and have not contacted him at all other than wishing him a happy birthday.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      You don’t “have to do” anything, unless you want to get the best results in the shortest amount of time.

      If that is the case, stop making excuses and follow ALL the steps, OK?

      I help you to use the no contact rule to evolve past the break up and reveal their ex boyfriend’s true feelings.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  105. Jessica says:

    Hi,

    I did a big goof up while posting my break up story and NC diary.I am not able to add it again.Am I blocked or what??

    Thanks

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If you did not follow the forum guidelines you were banned from posting.

      You do not NEED to post in our forum to be successful using the no contact rule and the free plan to get your ex back, to evolve past your break up.

      Some people even have more success after being banned from posting.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  106. Jessica says:

    Hi,

    Ok..Thanks

  107. Tee says:

    I planned to send this no contact message to my ex in hopes to get him back…
    It said
    ‘I understand where we went wrong, I’m sorry for my part in it. Time for bygones to be bygones. I accept that we are over, our old relationship wasn’t a lasting one. Your right about putting space between you and I. Because I love you I respect your decision and will let you go now for good. Its time to move on, work on ourselves and see other people. In order to do so I need to cut you off. I’m grateful for your help, Good luck in all your endeavors and I hope your family is well too. No hard feelings. You can’t fight for something that doesn’t want to be fought for so I’m bowing out.’

    But do you think your one will work more to my advantage? I signed up up and still waiting for my plan..
    Thanks

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      That message will not work.

      A no contact message does not need an apology, it should be emotion-less, like my recommended NC message is.

      If you joined my newsletter, you will receive a link to the free plan, just follow ALL the steps.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  108. Tee says:

    I have signed up and am yet to receive anything.
    Thank you

  109. Tee says:

    Okay so I sent the no contact message word for word.. And straight away I got a reply saying ‘uhm okay’..
    We have nearly been broken up for a month, and his started seeing some one already am I thinking too much of this relationship?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Yes, stop obsessing over something you have no control over (his new relationship), and start focusing on getting your life back by following ALL the steps in the free plan.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

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