How Bad Do You Want to Get Your Ex Back? – How Do You Rate?
You’re telling everyone how much you miss your ex and you want them back. But do your actions match your words? Take this test and find out. If you are not happy with what you find out in this test, then you need to ask yourself this question. How bad do you want to get your ex back?
Just Going Through The Motions
Picture this, you just bought a treadmill and you want to get into shape. You jump on set it to 4MPH for 30 minutes, and then you start walking while holding on to the safety rails. This is a good start, but could you be doing better? What if I tried a little bit harder, could I reach my target weight faster? So you’ve been talking about how to fix your relationship, but are you just going through the motions? Could you be doing more to get your ex back?
Take A Little Risk
After a little while you decide to let go of the safety bars, because you’re getting more confident, and you want better results from your workout. That’s a great idea you’re putting in more effort which will yield higher results. Maybe it’s time to apply the same strategy to getting your ex back? Instead of just looking for free information on the Internet, and in the forums, maybe you should invest some money into a good plan that will help you get better results…what do you think?
Take It Up A Notch
Hey, now that you’re getting the hang of this why not kick it up a notch, and start swinging your arms? This will definitely burn more calories in the same amount of time, as well as tone your upper body, so why not? Same thing with your plan to win back your ex. Maybe you can start actually reading and applying what you have inside the book you bought to help you with your relationship problems. Why not give it a try?
Going For The Gold
OK, now you’re feeling like you can go for it and start running. Well then take off and give it a shot. You see thinking about something and actually doing it are two different animals. This can apply to your strategy to save your love life as well.
At some point in the plan, you’re going to have to use no contact to win them back, and that scares the crap out of people. But you see if you’re going to “go for the gold” and get your ex back, you have to put fear aside and just go for it…make sense? So how do you measure up? Are you giving it all you got to get them back?
If you need a good coach to help you reach those goals, and “go for the gold” join my newsletter. I will share all my videos, tips, and advice with you, and help you take it up a notch to get your ex back fast. If you have any comments or questions for me, please write them in the comment box below, and I will answer them ASAP!
Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?
My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008 to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.
If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free plan to get your ex back fast, and start getting your life back today. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.
Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.
If this article was useful or helpful to you in anyway, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.
Until next time,
S. Williams
http://www.howtogetyourexbackfast.com
Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.
Related posts:
- How to Get My Ex Back – Good Bonds vs Bad Bonds It seems the biggest obstacle in learning “how to get my ex back” is knowing the difference between a good...
- How to Win Your Love Back After a Bad Break Up You can win your love back after a bad break up if you know what to do. As a matter...
- A Long Distance Relationship – A Good Idea or Bad Idea? Is starting a long distance relationship worth it? Is it any more riskier or harder than a traditional close distance...
- Use This Amazing Mind Trick To Get Your Ex Back You can get your ex back, without even trying…want to learn how? Then keep on reading and I will tell...
- Get Your Ex Back Faster Than Anyone Else Can Using These 3 Super Simple Tactics You can get your ex back faster than anyone else can if you follow these 3 simple tactics. Your broken...
Hey my girlfriend and i broke up about 6 weeks ago two weeks ago she started seeing another guy. Ive stuck to the plan of no contact the only time ive seen her is at the bars and i usually just say hi make small talk and go about my buisness. Friday nite she text me after i saw her at the bars she wanted to know what brought about this change in me. I told her ive just had alot of time to myself to work on me. She said that she couldnt understand how i could move on so fast, saying that our break up was horrible and long, which i disagree, she also said i never went out with her the year we were togather which is also not true, but i must admit the last 8 or 9 weeks we were togather we didnt go out. She said that it seems like i seem happier and i look different which she said she guesses is good. when she asked how i could have moved on so quickly I told her it seemed like she had moved on quickly and i was just doing the same. She at first text back if that what you want, but then text back that she was sorry but did not want to pass up a chance that might possible make her happy (i think referring to the fact that she starting seeing a new guy so quickly as we dated for over a year) But that she still wanted to try and be friends when we say each other.
Wondering how to proceed should i keep the lines of communication open by texting her every once inawhile just to say hi, as i think asking to get lunch or something while she is seeing this new guy would push her away. Please some advice is needed
Dear S. Williams,
First of all I want to excuse myself because of my poor english, but this is not my native language.
I would like to tell you my story – I will try to keep it short – because I really need your advise. But still I have to tell you the vitals.
We were together for 3 and a half years. This was a really good relationship: had the same ideas about family, we had so many plans for the future (he asked me every single month if I am still willing to be his wife when we finish the collage), shared hobbies, liked the same music and books, really enjoyed talking and also we never had any problems with intimacy. He was the “MAN”, loved me with so much adoration, the way I can love and he really cared about me the way I needed to be cared for. But since I’m here, you can guess what happened. And because of this I can only blame myself. We never cheated, nor I had to be afraid of this. I was soooo sure that he loves me and that’s the way it always will be. Slowly I became too self-assured, and thought that I can do everything. I can say everything when I’m nervous,I can blame him for every little stupid thing, because he KNOWS that I love him and what else matters? This is how the little fights started. But I did not consider that while I was not taking them so serious, he got hurt. I guess he started to feel that he can not make me happy anymore, so he came to the conclusion that we don’t really match. After a childish fight (4 weeks ago) he told me that maybe it would be the best if we just stay friends. And what was my reaction? I told him, “allright, you can come over and take your stuff from my house”!!! I thought he is not serious, because we love each other truly… I thought he will think it over and will ask me to forgive him. But instead of course I pushed him farther away in this “break up idea”. A few days later he called me and he asked me if he could join me when I go to the doctor. So he escoreted me, and I noticed that he walked really close, he touched my arm and my hair many times, and even he forgot about himself and we were walking hand in hand for a short time. Of course I asked him to stop this thing, I need him more than anything… I was even crying. I could not help… Later he told me on the phone that he just went with me as a FRIEND! I don’t know what to think. Anyway.. he went for easter holidays with his family, and I still hoped he will change his mind. I did not call him (I never called him since the first “breaking up” sentence), he was connecting me. Six times a day at least. I still hoped this nightmare will end when he comes back. But our next (and last so far) meeting was when he picked up his clothes and books from me. This time I was stronger, even if I was shocked that he shaved his beautyful hair – I guess just wanted to show me he is moving on. I didn’t ask anything, I didn’t cry. But when I said good bye, he hugged me really tight and he was crying. But still he was strong enough to walk away..So we agreed that we will stay friends, because we need to know whats going on with the other. It was a week ago, since then he only sent me an sms that he found a book of mine and he wants to give it to me. I replied that I don’t need anything, he can keep it. I did not want to see him again, it was far too painful the last time. I also knew that I will not be able to control my emotions. I am still deeply in love with him. And after that… nothing. No calls, no more sms, no contact on the internet.
So this is my story.
I still think this was a relation that is worth to fight for! I do understand the mistakes I’ve done, and I am willing to change. I also have the “Magic of making up”, read it a few times. I understand that I have to let him go and I have to learn to live without him – no matter how hard it seems right now – to get the biggest possible chance to reunite. I also follow the plan to work on myself, to learn how to control my emotions. But I’m not sure where to start… Shall I send the “second chance letter” as the first step? Or shall I just call him and tell that I need some time for myself, therefore I will not contact him for a while? Or just continue not to talk with him for a month? Yesterday I deleted him from the MSN and skype. I also closed my blog, because I know he was reading, therefore he knows perfectly well what is going on with me.
Please help me, all your suggestions would be really apperciated.
Thanks for listening!
Susy
Nick wrote:
That was a personal question and you should’ve ignored it, that’s how NC works.
Nick wrote:
This is a GREAT example of why you shouldn’t try to reconnect with your ex after using NC using text messages.
Do you have a book, or a plan to follow?
Nick wrote:
Once again…do you have a plan for using NC?
If not get one and follow it, my advice and the content on this Blog is designed to work along with a book with a plan in it.
You don’t seem to have a “clue” about how to properly use no contact.
No I used no contact for over a month like the book said then i finally contacted her. Becuase the book said that if she does not contact you after 30 days its okay for you to contact her. Now she is seeing another guy I want to stay in some form of contact and she seems to be receptive to text messaging as she will initiate contact by texting me. And im sorry she didnt ask me in person at the bars what brought about this change in me she asked me lata via text message.
She also said i seem happier and different, which she said was good via text messaging@ Nick: I have followed the plan of no contact for thirty days but the plan is not detailed enough for exactly after thrity days. Should I only call her and never text message I need some advice on filling the gaps, not a simple get a plan speech I have a good overall plan but its still hard to know how to respond about certain situation If she text me something personal about our past relationship I can just ignor it now can I
Susy wrote:
You need to let your ex know you are going into no contact.
I am not sure how long it has been since your last contact?
But if it’s been more than 5 days don’t send the letter, just send him a letter explaining that you need time to think about your life and what to do with it, and you”ll be in touch.
Ladies and Gentlemen that’s the short version of how to “properly” initiate NC there’s more about it in my FAQ section.
Don’t ignore him unless you don’t want to get him back.
Instead use NC by telling your ex you need time to think about your life and it’s current direction…be vague…keep them guessing about what’s on your mind…it creates curiosity, and it not only killed the cat, but it can get your ex back as well.
Nick wrote:
First off this isn’t a recipe…30 days is just a benchmark, it may take longer…OK?
Read chapter 6 in the Magic of Making up it offers many good ideas on how to reconnect, follow the guides lines and formulate your own plan.
It would be pretty much impossible to write one plan to fit all people and their unique situations, Right?
S. Williams wrote:
But if it’s been more than 5 days don’t send the letter, just send him a letter explaining that you need time to think about your life and what to do with it, and you”ll be in touch.
Don’t ignore him unless you don’t want to get him back.
Instead use NC by telling your ex you need time to think about your life and it’s current direction…be vague…keep them guessing about what’s on your mind…it creates curiosity, and it not only killed the cat, but it can get your ex back as well.
Dear S. Williams,
) I think it will be enough then to write just about what you’ve told me. Is it the best to write a hand written mail, or can I just send an e-mail? I don’t have any problems with “snail mail”, he used to write me many times. Also I do understand that this is something more personal, but is it what I need or would it be better to be a little formal? 
Thank you for your answer, and also for your blog. It really helps many of us to “survive” the hard time we have.
I was just wondering about the letter because even if it’s been more than 5 days since our last contact ( been around 8 days by now) I think he is still sure that I did not agree with the break up and I still want him back eagerly. (and of course this is soo true but..
Thank you for your patience, I know it is not easy with me… but after I messed up so many things, I really want to do this right.
Susy
Ive read chapter 6 and its sound sgood doing the phone call to arrange a date, my only problem is that my ex-girlfriend my not be willing to go on just a casual lunch with me or something since she is seeing a new guy, as she will feel pressured to be out with me and seeing a new guy. Its a tricky situation I feel like the guy is just a reboun but its impossible to know.
Susy wrote:
8 days isn’t too bad…8 weeks that would be a different story.
Go ahead and send him the letter T.W. Jackson recommends in his book.
Susy wrote:
You’re welcome, and thank you for posting your comment because other people will learn from your experience as well.
Nick wrote:
How do you know that until you call her…right?
If she says no, politely say OK maybe another time, and then say good-bye and try again in a week or two.
Plus if “lunch” sounds too much like a date…what about coffee?
This will just be a short meeting (30 minutes) out in a public place during the day to “catch up” on things.
Don’t talk about the past (your old relationship) don’t ask about her dating situation either.
Talk about subjects (school, sports, work) you both have a common interest in, and just enjoy each others company…no pressure your old friends right?
The whole idea is to let your ex see you again as the new (not clingy, needy) person you’ve become.
And to place this new image in their mind, don’t make another date there, just say thanks for coming and good bye.
Since you invited her offer to pay, but if she refuses then let her pay you’re not there to argue…right?
Read her body language try a few of the tricks mentioned in the book, if the time seems right (don’t be too forward on the first meeting).
Are you starting to get the picture?
Keep reading chapter 6 until the “light” comes on in your head and you understand what you’re trying to accomplish…OK?
Dear S. Williams,
After an hour of thinking I finally wrote a “mix” letter, telling him that I do agree and I’m fine with the break up… and also wrote that I need some time now for myself, tried to keep it vague, so I hope he will be curious about what is going on with me.
I know that this is just the beginning of the road. We had such a close relationship. He was not just my love but also my best friend. We spent hours daily on the phone or on the net if we could not meet… I miss it so much, and I’m sure I will in the upcoming weeks. But I also understand that this chapter is over now (To really accept it – I guess this is the hardest part, isn’t it? ) and I have to start a very new page.
Thank you again for your kind answers! I have sent some suggestions for the forum. I will come back to read the other comments and posts in the blog, and can’t wait to see the forum
Susy wrote:
A++
You’re right on the money!
This is the part people have the hardest time understanding.
Once you wrap your head around the fact that you’re never going back to the old relationship…the easier the rest of the trip will be.
You have to “let go” of that in order for you and your ex to “evolve” to the next level.
Everyone sees this as “giving up” on their ex, but they’re wrong.
You’re not losing your ex you are gaining a chance to have an even better relationship with them.
Success really depends on how you look at the situation…glass half empty, or half full?
Keep your glass half full and you”ll never be thirsty…Right?
Susy wrote:
Thank you! I look forward to reading them.
hi s williams
great blog with great advice, I have recommended it to all my friends.
I need some advice on the no contact rule please. I split up with my boyfriend just over a week ago, we live an hr apart so we only get to see each other once every week or two depending on work. anyway to cut a long story short when we fell out i never got in contact with him altho i was really upset. luckly enough i stumble across your blog which has help me a great deal, well last week i sent him a short letter as you suggest telling him that i agree with the breakup and maybe its time i moved on with my life, i wasnt expecting to hear from him then last nite he sent me a text saying that he couldnt offer me what i wanted (i dont know what he meant by this) he also said that he felt it unfair that it’s me who has to travel to see him (he’s a head chef so doesnt get much time off) and that he loved making love to me but he doesnt want me to think that all the wanted was sex which i know it wasnt, he finished of the text by saying that he wishes things were different, he misses me and i should take care X.
im so confused of what to do, should i reply to his text or should i continue with the no contact rule.
i have plans to buy the ebook you recommend my laptop has gone on the blink so im using my brothers computer dont want him to know my business.. so i would be grateful if you could advise me what to do until i can purchase the ebook next week.
thank you for your time
eiregirl wrote:
No, don’t reply this will undo everything you did by properly initiating NC…Great Job!
He has some thinking to do, as well as you and no contact will give you both that time you need.
eiregirl wrote:
I am glad you found my Blog in time too.
Hopefully when I open the forum shortly it will make it easier to find my Blog.
This way people will find the help they need before they make too many mistakes.
The books are great but without a site like this to fill in the “missing pieces” they usually don’t help much.
Hang tight you’re doing the right thing.
Thank you for your advice.
i will keep up the NC but how do i know he will still be interested in me, im not sure he is by that text he sent. can i ask your advice please, do you think he’s still interested in me.
thanks again, cant wait until the forum is up and running
eiregirl wrote:
I can not tell you that, but he liked making love to you, I bet he is going to miss that…give him 30 days without you at all and see what happens.
When you get the book and start reading you will understand things more.
In the meantime think about what needs to happen to make this “new” relationship work when it’s time to reconnect…OK?
His last remark was meant to make you panic and beg him to come back, just so he could say “no.”
He wanted to see if he still had you under his thumb, by not replying you’re telling him where to stick that “thumb” for the time being.
thank you, you have given me the courage to carry on with the NC. I really appricate all the advice you have given me.
S.Williams,
thanks for having this site, but more so for responding to the above posts. Please take a look at my situation and let me know how to proceed. I’ve been reading a number of books,including the magic of making up and the material is conflicting.
I am 25 years old, my ex fiance is 27. About 7 months ago, he broke up with me. Prior to the break up, he moved to another state (2 hrs)to attend medical school, I also began grad school. The plan was for me to finsih up my studies in 8 months, and move where he is, while commutin on the weekends. The transition was tough, but not the reason for the break up. His family, whom i’ve know for 6 years, began interfearing, they werer always calling him when we were together, it was extremely frustrating and I began fighting about it. He basicially told me that he didn’t want to be with me anymore, beaause I wouldn’t be a good wife in the future, we were no longer compatiable.
I could not believe what i was hearing and did’t think he was serious, after all we were together for 5.5 years and had never broken up… i told him to take a break for one month to think things through as i believe we both needed a break, during the break, we called every day, he indicated that he loved me and did not want to lose me, but then visited his family for thanksgiving, during that week i didn’t hear from him. So i called him after 10 days of no contact, he told me that he had decided to go through with the break up… i tried calling his family, my family called his family.. no luck there!!!
I begged and plead and didn’t believe it was really over for 3 months. I then decided to go see him, we hung out for a few hours, we both had a good time, but did not talk about the break up or getting back together.
When i came back, i decided not to contact him and didn’t for 6 weeks. I then sent him the letter indicating that i had agreed with the break up- his response was “I want my ring back”….
Aonther 4 weeks, i contact him, indicating i wanted us to remain friends, mistake on my part… that wass 6 weeks ago. He doesn’t call or text eventhough we indicated that we wanted to reamin friends.. i don’t want to be just his friend. I love him and want us to get back together, i’m writing to you because i’m not sure what else to do. He hass never treated me badly, or abuse me in any way…which is why the berak up is so much harder. I’m not realy sure what chaneged with the family….
Please help
saddgirl wrote:
Do you have a plan to work with?
Did you properly initiate no contact with the letter (see FAQ #1,2)
You should have given his ring back, and stayed in no contact.
Have you joined our forum yet?
The Forum
saddgirl wrote:
Who knows?
Family can be a big pain in the ass sometimes, especially when they “over step” their boundaries.
Get a plan, and join our forum, and we will all help you…OK?
thanks for getting back to me.
No I don’t have a plan. I still have the ring and I’m not sure how to join the forum. The fact youre referring to is it form the magic of making up? Is too late to return to ring now?
saddgirl wrote:
The FAQ’s are in the “Start Here First FAQs” section at the top of the Blog.
Join the forum by clicking on The Forum link in my last reply to you, or by clicking on the button on the right hand side on the Blog.
It would be a very good idea to get the magic of making up because this blog and the forum are designed to work hand in hand with the plan in that book.
You can get it by clicking here: The Magic of Making up Book.
No, it’s not too late to return the ring, and re-initiate no contact again.
See you in the forum!
I already have a copu of the magic of making up. Ive also read the FAQ’A and joined the forum.
I just recieved an email form my ex, but it was in response to one I previously sent him.
My plan was to aks him to meet up with me, needed to know if he was available because we are in different states and I know he wil be spending the next 2 months with his parents(he lives two hours away from them s well).
The point of this was to get him to see the new me: I’ve lost 15 lbs and have a new outlook on things, (want him to see that i’m not the clingy person he knew). i can also use this ocassion to return his ring, keys and other jewelery his parent’s gave me. I don’t know if this is a good idea or i should just tell him this if he calls and mail the stuff… I’m expecting to hear from his by Friday, as i believe he will head home Saturday.
saddgirl wrote:
This sounds like a pretty good idea.
You need to be strong and confident to pull this off to your advantage…are you ready?
Just be polite don’t ask any personal questions, and don’t answer any either.
If he asks something personal tell him you are not ready to talk about things just yet…you need more time to think about your life and where it’s leading…OK?
The bottom line is you MUST be ready, don’t profess any feeling positive or negative…remain neutral and in control at all times.
This will leave him with a strong positive impression of you.
The point of this is to return his jewelry, and make him re-think his attitude towards you as a possible love interest once again.
He will think…wow she has changed and she seems like she doesn’t need me or anyone to be happy…did I lose her for good?
What can I do to get her back?
After that let time and silence do it’s work.
P.S. Maybe you could re-think having an user name that says sadgirl how about kickassgirl?
i have to be able to pull this off, and i’m a litle concern about whether or not i can. i’ve always been a strong person, but with him i can be an emotional mess. So this is my only concern. but will try. I also need him to agree to see me, i don’t want to just show up at the apartmet, but get him to meet me somewhere public.
Do you recommend me waiting for him to call (thre is always th epossibility that he wil lnot and then he will travel to his parents place where he will be for the next two months), or should i call/email him telling him i want to see him and should i say for waht? This has to happen ln Friday, Saturday the latest.
ps.youre awsome, thanks for taking the time to respond.
saddgirl wrote:
Join and participate in our forum and you will find the strength you need.
The forum is your best tool at this point.
in chapter 5 of the book, it says there about dating another one, i can do that but i feel that i’m not fair with the other person bec i’m only using him. i know very much that it’s my ex that i want not him.
my ex is someone that when he thinks of something, he’s impulsive so he will decide straight away like what happened to us. i’m afraid the nc will make him go away than come back to me. we went out the same day and had a nice time together and end up breaking up that time. he said that something was missing. he wanted to be with me but he doesn’t want to hold me back. he used to be a cuddly person but not anymore and he said that his previous relationship changed him a lot.
what if those times with nc, he decided that he wants to go back with his ex? or find another one?
hd wrote:
Good question for the forum.
I do not answer questions of this nature on my Blog anymore…you’re already a forum member post there.