Does Your Ex Want You Back?

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Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back – Does The No Contact Rule Work?

Are you interested in getting your ex boyfriend back? Learn how the no contact rule can help you. This strategy when done correctly will help you to get your ex back. Getting your ex boyfriend back is not as hard as you may think. So keep on reading, and lets find out how the no contact rule will help you get your ex boyfriend back.

Winning Back Your Ex By Pulling

When you chase your ex boyfriend he will most likely run. This is the first, and worst mistake you could make when getting your ex boyfriend back…Why? Because you want to pull him towards you not push him away with unwanted attention, and contact. This is where the no contact rule becomes your best weapon to get your ex boyfriend back. I know you’re wondering; “How can I get my ex boyfriend back if I do not keep in touch with him?”

Well, once you stop chasing him he will start to feel as if he has pushed you away for good. He will wonder if you are gone for good or what? Now you are back on his mind, and that is how it starts. Getting your ex boyfriend back with the no contact rule works. So you see that winning back your ex boyfriend is a lot easier if you pull him towards you, and not chase him away by pleading for his attention.

If Your Patient With The No Contact Rule You"ll Get Your Ex Back

Getting My Ex Boyfriend Back After No Contact Starts Working

Once you have your ex boyfriends attention again what do you do next? The best way to use the no contact rule to help you get your ex boyfriend back, is to take it slow once he starts coming around again. Most women go crazy, and jump the gun, and start professing their undying love, and start apologizing for everything.

All this should be done slowly and carefully. Tread lightly when you start getting your ex boyfriend back. Do not let your success with the no contact rule go to your head there is still a lot of work to do, and you will need a good plan to follow. Winning back your ex boyfriend will take time and patience. I suggest finding some good information with a plan to lead you through the rest of the process. Using the no contact rule as a tool to getting your ex boyfriend back works…if done correctly.

Don’t Let This Mistake Stop You From Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Why would anyone do this? I mean, do you really think by randomly searching the internet, that you are going to succeed? You need a plan, a plan that works, and you need it now. It doesn’t matter if you get the plan I recommend, or someone else’s, just get a plan, and start following it…OK? I will coach anyone who has a plan, for free, so stop wasting valuable time, and get busy winning your ex back. If you have any comments or questions for me, please write them in the comment box below, and I will answer them ASAP! What can I do to help you get your ex back? What are you willing to do to get your ex boyfriend back?

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people for more than 3 years to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free plan to get your ex back fast, and start getting your life back today. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.

Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.

If this article was useful or helpful to you in anyway, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.


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  1. My ex and I were completely in love. He introduced me to his mother about 3 weeks after we became exclusive, he met my family as well. We went on 2 trips together. He alluded to marrying me. He spoke of the future, having children, he had me picking out his kitchen sink and closet doors for his apartment that we were going to live in. He would ask me to answer his cellphones, said he had nothing to hide from me. He was possibly going to move to another city because of work and asked me to come with him. I’m still kicking myself for not “holding out.” We had sex for the first time after 1 month of dating. I noticed he was becoming distant after 2 months. But then he “came back.” He was sweet again, caring, etc. We took a trip together, also in our 2nd month, we got back from the trip and for 3 days we didn’t see eachother, he would send me text each of those days saying he missed me and loved me. He said he was busy with work. Then one day I went out to the movies with a male friend, I casually mentioned it in coversation the day after over the phone and I suddenly didn’t hear him anymore, he went silent. Literally. I hung up and called him back thinking something was wrong with the phone and he never answered again until 3 days later when I called him from a payphone because I was sure he was ignoring me and I didn’t want him to know it was me. He was busy, I said, ok, we’ll talk later and I waited for him to call me. He didn’t so I ended up going over to his house one early sunday morning, woke him up, I was mad because he was completely ignoring me. I asked him what was going on, he said he had been busy with his workload since coming back from our trip the week before. I asked him why he had been ignoring me for 4 days and he said he didn’t want to fight or discuss things with text and said that he had not received my calls on his cell. But it turns out he had gone over to my house 2 days before after he got off work late one night. But he never knocked on my door or gave me call to come out or something. Said he regretted going over because it was so late. Anyway, he never admitted it but it was clear that he was not ok with me going out with my guy friend. I had always assumed that there was no problem because he NEVER mentioned anything until that day. So I was frustrated and left. I was feeling insecure and decided that I would break things off first and later that day I did something totally immature and impulsive. I wrote him this long email and broke up with him in that email. A few hours later I regretted it, I called him, but he had already read it. And he was angry and didn’t forgive me and didn’t take me back. Anyway,after this happened he wouldn’t take my calls, and would only answer sometimes when by chance we were both logged in to facebook.(FYI I was pretty sure that after all this arguing we did on fb that he would’ve blocked me but he hasn’t and I can’t bring myself to do it either) I ended up going over to his house one more time about 3 weeks later to try to fix things. We fought again and he tore this letter that I had written to him and said he didn’t want to see me anymore. The break up dragged on for a little over a month, I did the whole awful, needy, desperate thing, and said some very hurtful things to him. I miss him so much. I think we had something good and I just horribly overreacted to his distance. And everything just escalated from there. I dont’ understand what happened, we were so happy. I’m still hoping that he’ll come back to me. It’s barely been a few days with no contact. What’s your insight on this?? Thanks. P.S. Some background info: he’s 40 and I’m 37, he’s 2 years divorced, went through the death of his brother and sister a couple of years ago and that of his father 10 yrs ago.

    1. Hi,

      People can fall into (and out of) love very quickly sometimes, and this seems to be the case with your ex.

      We are all born with a “gut instinct” that we must be loyal to, because when we start to second-guess ourselves, we are truly lost.

      You want to second-guess your decision to breakup because it is causing you pain, but just think of all the pain you have prevented yourself from experiencing in the future.

      Take the word of someone who has spent the last 18 years trying to salvage his life after having a son with an incompatible woman…it wasn’t (and still isn’t at times) very easy.

      You don’t have any children to worry about, and you have plenty of time to find the right man.

      No one can go from texting you everyday, to just ignoring you, if their feelings haven’t changed…but he is too scared to admit it, so he just keeps driving you crazy with his passive-aggressive behavior.

      I am 53, and I have experienced the death of my mother, father, oldest brother, and sister, and I am not out there in the world treating people like shit, so you can stop trying to make excuses for his bad behavior.

      Your inner gut feeling told you the truth, and you (wisely) acted upon your beliefs, and saved yourself from making a big mistake (even bigger) by staying with this man.

      Learn to trust your instincts, and learn to let go of the things that will only cause you pain and regret, and move on.

      You don’t really want him back as much as you want to stop feeling regretful, and alone. The sooner you start NC (the right way) the sooner you will stop feeling this way, but it will take time.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Make a commitment to yourself to stay in no contact for at least 12 months, and do not focus on getting your ex back – let your ex go.

      Your main focus is to break your dependency on your old relationship (and your ex) for happiness, and reestablish your life as a Happy Healthy single person.

      This is much more important than getting your ex back, and in 12 months you will realize what I’m saying is true.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,


      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

      1. 12 months?? A year to heal, it’ll be like i’m still in a relationship with him, minus the boyfriend. LOL I had hoped to have a family by this time in my life, after so many heartaches, I was SO sure it was going to be with him, finally the right guy had come along. He was everything I had looked for in a man. Thanks for you response.

        1. Hi,

          If he were ‘the right man” you wouldn’t be here, would you?

          Players have a knack for figuring out what a woman is looking for in a man, and then pretending to be all those things, until they get bored, and move on.

          Or, he just fell out of love with you, it happens, only he knows for sure.

          Maybe it’s time to start looking for “different” things in a man.

          It is much better to wait to start a family, then it is to start one with the wrong person…take it from me.

          Take Care,


  2. I am sorry for the long message but I have to get this off my chest and I also need to explain my story.
    Here goes: My ex boyfriend and I met on May 11 2011 and we fell in love immediately. Our connection is like no other! And I’m not just saying that, he said it as well. It was a mutually feeling. I was in a 7 year relationship and didn’t love that ex with a fraction of the force that I love my current ex boyfriend. I know with every single molecule in my DNA that he and I are twin souls. We were immediately connected to each other when we met. And it wasn’t only a sexual thing either. It was a very loving and emotional relationship. It felt like we’ve known each other forever, and we were only getting reacquainted when we met. We became inseparable and saw each other at least 5 times out of the week and texted every single day, all day. We both enjoyed each other’s company. He took me to Arizona to meet his dad and stepmom in June, and in July we went to Chico, CA to meet his best friend in the world, his sister and mother. We never fought! I mean, we’d have tiny disagreements but nothing serious. It was a very loving, happy, selfless and affectionate relationship. He’d bring me flowers every two weeks. He was a very thoughtful and loving boyfriend. The plan was for us to relocate together to Chico, once my lease was up at the end of October. (HIS IDEA).
    One of his closest friends passed away in late July and I stuck by his side the way a girlfriend is supposed to. In early August he broke up with me. I was upset one night because his ex girlfriend had called him a few times and she seemed a little persistent, and it annoyed me and made me feel insecure. (She was just concerned for him because of the passing of his friend, at the time I was to jealous to see it for what it was). So I text him and told him that if he still had feelings for her that I’d step aside. This had him baffled and upset because he assured me that he was in love with me. He came over after his shift was done at work and we started to talk, talking kind of turned in a little argument, and I take full responsibility for that. He mentioned how he wanted me to get on birth control and then he mentioned an incident that occurred when we went to visit Chico, CA. Basically, I was in the car with his best friend’s wife and other girls and we were all talking about pregnancy and our periods. It kind of slipped that my boyfriend and I have sex without taking precautions and that I have an irregular period and so I wasn’t on birth control and didn’t have a desire to get on birth control. (I have fertility issues, so I don’t see the point; I’m 30 BTW, if that makes any difference). Anyways, I didn’t think anything of it at that time, because we were all sharing and I just figured it was a conversation amongst girls and it would stay between us. Not that anything I said was a secret just that I didn’t think that it would be discussed again. So when my ex boyfriend mentioned it, it took by surprise and I got really upset and called it gossip. He left soon after and said that he needed a couple of days to think, a couple of days turned into a few days. He wouldn’t answer my calls and I went nuts… I even showed up at his place because I was worried for him. He ended up breaking up with me and saying that he felt things were moving too fast. He said that he needed to get healthy and he was moving to Chico without me. Anyways, of course I went crazy and did all of the things that both Jemima and TW say not to do. He quit his job and left to Chico on September 1 2011, but before he left we spend a couple of days together because my sister was in town for her 21st birthday. We had sex on September 1 2011, (we actually have had sex on 3 occasions after the breakup) and we never took any precautions (sorry TMI). We kept communication after he left but it was minimal. On September 15 2011 I asked him to called me and he did, and I told him that I was going to move to Chico, CA at the end of October because I was done living in Vegas and the original plan was always to move to Chico. BTW, I don’t work (because I can afford not to work) and don’t have any friends or family in Las Vegas, they are all back east. So I’m not leaving anything behind. I told him that I was going to get my own place and that at least I had him as a friend in Chico. I proceeded to ask him to help me move down there, he said that he was going to think about it. I gave him the weekend and he sent me the email below. After I read it I went even crazier and started crying, texting, repeatedly calling, left him a voice mail crying and lastly responded to his email. He has ignored me since he sent the email below and my last attempt in contacting him was September 19 2011, 12 days ago. I read the Jemima and TW eBook and decided to send him the “win him back” letter this morning. I am still moving to Chico, but I am going to stick to the NC rule and not contact him. I’m going to try at all cost to avoid bumping into him and I’m even making new friends online so I have a distraction. Am I breaking the NC by moving to Chico? I already rented my place and cannot back out of it and I really feel that if we’re near each other that the possibility of us getting back together is greater than if I stayed miserable in Las Vegas (I hate this place). Even though I am moving to Chico, I really plan to stick to the NC rule and avoid bumping into him. Anyways, below is his email to me. Let me know your thought! I really need advice.
    “I had to write this email to get this off my chest. I’m apologizing ahead of time for my brutal honesty, but like you already know, I don’t know how to be any other way except honest and forthcoming. You deserve my honest opinions completely uncensored.
    When you told me last week that you had decided to move to Chico, I stayed quiet because I didn’t want to say something based on my emotions I was feeling at that exact moment. I didn’t want to blurt out how I felt about it and end up saying something I would regret. Now that I’ve had the weekend to think about it and analyze the situation, I’m comfortable now in my feelings and my opinion on the matter.
    I do not want you moving to Chico. I think it’s a terrible idea. There is NOTHING for you here in Chico. You tell me that you’re moving here to be friends with me, but I don’t believe you. We weren’t friends before our relationship, and we haven’t been good friends since the breakup. I feel like you’re only making this decision to be closer to me to try and repair our relationship.
    It’s extremely painful for me to tell you this, but it needs to be said. I’m not in love with you anymore.
    I DO still love you and care about your well-being and your health. But I don’t at this moment see a future for us together. And how you came to the decision to move to Chico bewilders me. You had never even heard of Chico before you met me. There’s nothing here for you. You are moving to Chico without even talking to me about it and asking how I feel about it. I don’t want you here. I moved out of Vegas to get myself back to where I used to be. I need to heal myself, and having you here will not help me. If you move here, I feel like it will only be detrimental, and the person who will be hurt most will be you.
    If you move to Chico for us to be “friends”, it won’t happen. We will not be friends if you move to Chico. I will make sure of this. You can’t go from being with someone and being in love to “Just Friends.” If you want to move to California, I think you should by all means. But you belong in a big city with more opportunities. You’re 30 years old, you know how to be social and make friends. Stop using the excuse of not having friends as a crutch. You WILL meet new people. And if you want to move somewhere where you have friends, move to where one of your friends is. Move to Hawaii. You’d love it. Do not move to Chico. You will only be severely disappointed even more than you already are.
    I think we need to take some time apart from each other with NO communication. No texts, no phone calls, no emails, no visiting. I need to do my healing and grieving, and you need to focus on what it is you want to do. I need you to respect my wishes, because my mind is made up. I’m sorry that this email is probably hurting you, but it needed to be said. It’s not a normal decision to decide to move to another state to follow your ex when you don’t know ANYONE else there and there is no career field for you there. You’re making decisions based on your feelings; you’re not using your head. I can’t even believe you actually came to that decision and thought it was logical. And then you asked me to fly back to Vegas to help you pack your entire apartment up and drive your U-Haul from Vegas to Chico because it is “cost effective”. Are you serious? That is definitely not happening.
    I am strongly convinced you should definitely NOT move to Chico. If you want to grow and heal from this and possibly have a friendship later in the future, you need to NOT move to Chico.”

    1. Hi,

      Your ex boyfriend took getting “cold feet” to a whole new level.

      I think he has frostbite.

      If you use the no contact rule correctly you can reveal his true feelings for you.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,


  3. Hi,

    My ex and I were good friends/ housemates before we started dating. We got together because we found out that we had been liking each other since the beginning (almost a year) so we decided to give it a try. After a month of being dating/ in a relationship, i found out that he was still in contact with his ex-girlfriend very often on gchat and I got pissed off. He claimed that they were just very good friends but he compromised that he was going to cut the tie off. But the next day, he wanted to break up with me because of my insecurity and he didn’t want to keep making compromises. So i agreed with the breakup.

    But I still like him and I can’t accept we breakup because of that reason. It has been a week, and I had been using “no contact” or “limited contact” rule (because we are housemate) and it seemed work very well. He started coming back home early after work and wanted to talk to me a lot. He showed a lot of caring like what he used to do. And all I did was acting cold and trying to limit the contact with him.

    Bad thing is that we had sex last night after drinking a couple bottles of beer together. He invited me to drink and insisted in teaching me how to play poker. And I couldn’t resist. We had sex and I know we both still remember. We both acted very normal today but I could feel a bit coldness from him. I don’t know what to do now and I am afraid he is going to start hiding from me again.

    Please help! Should I go back to “no contact” rule again? I know having sex with ex was such a big mistake and it ruined my whole plan. I seriously need advices!



    1. Hi,

      It sounds like he wants a FWB kind of situation, and you played right into it by trying to reconnect way too soon (mistake) using sex (another big no-no).

      You can reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you by properly using the no contact rule.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get him back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,


  4. Hi! My name is Fantasia. First off, I have been putting a lot of research into the No Contact Rule and I really don’t know if it works in my case. See, the person that I am trying to get back is not exactly an ex, but we have been dating since May 5th. We stopped dating just a few weeks ago. Anyways, I developed deep feelings for the guy, but I really feel like I turned him off on our last date. To make a long story short, he didn’t compliment me like he usually does and he definitely stopped flirting with me. It made me feel horrible and I just started acting distant towards him. On the ride back to my house, he was in the car saying that he has no idea why I suddenly started acting the way I did and quite honestly I felt so lame acting like that. I think that is what turned him off and now he doesn’t even text/call/facebook/comment/etc me anymore. How can the No Contact Rule help me with this situation? And how does this rule tie into facebook? He is my facebook friend. Should I delete him or just leave my profile up and not contact him? And FYI, I really want him in my life, but I don’t want to jeopardize anything with me contacting him or something. Oh! And I haven’t spoken with him since last Tuesday. Thanks!

    1. Hi,

      It sounds like you had a bad date, and you “both” helped it escalate into a big problem.

      There is an effective way to find out his “true” feelings for you using the no contact rule.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get your man back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      As far as FaceBook goes, it would be best to stay off it all together while you are personally evolving past this break up.

      FaceBook is a disease (an actual topic started by a forum member).

      If you worry that following the necessary steps to use the no contact rule correctly will ruin your chances for reconciliation, they will…why?

      What you think and feel creates your life, and that is why it is important to focus on getting your life back at this time, and not on the break up or your chances of getting back together.

      You have to approach this one step at a time…no skipping steps, understand?

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,


  5. and no…I will not contact him..:)


  6. Hi!

    NC email sent word for word!

    I must add that it was ME that broke up with my boyfriend. Well, it wasn’t quite a breakup..kind of a feeling of being in a limbo relationship (like you stated as an example). He basically doesn’t know if i’m the one for him. He’s in limbo with his job and the stress is making it impossible to see a future with me. I’ve tried being understanding but as you have stated I need to take care of myself. This is really hard because I love him so much and he loves me I know. We have gotten so close over the last year we have been dating. Our relationship was more than just sex…which by the way, he has repeatedly stated that he finds it hard to be intimate with someone he’s in love with and that someone is me. He gets to this point of a serious relationship and shuts that part off.

    All that said, I couldn’t take the physical rejection…not just sexually but just being intimate. Maybe I need to grow up myself and act like an adult and work through this with him, but like he said there’s no guarantee I will still be who he wants to be with as a life partner. He wants to go to therapy and I think that’ great but again he says there is no guarantee we will be together. I couldn’t sit around and wait so I took the first step and ended it today. I applied the NC rule through email just now.

    I’m really scared because I already knew I could choose not to talk to him without the NC rule but something in me said I needed to prove it to myself and send the email. SO I did! I’ll update you on my progression.

    thank you for this site…:)

    1. You’re Welcome! 🙂

      1. Oh just got an email response please any advice would be helpful:


        I will respect that, as it’s probably best for me as well, at least for a little bit. I think you have my PO Box key and I need to drop off your parking pass. I can come by when you’re not there. I also want to get my part of the mail stuff when it comes…

        I know, what stupid stuff for me to bring up in this email but I don’t know what else to say without sounding dumb or dramatic.


        Subject: You were right.

        I agree with your decision to take a break, I really believe it is the best thing for both of us right now. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.

        1. Hi,

          Since you are using the NO CONTACT rule, my advice would be not to reply with anything more than a date/time to come pickup his stuff and drop yours off.

          Take him up on his suggestion to come when you are NOT there.

          You said what needed to be said, now start your personal evolution by following the free plan to get your ex back.

          I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,


  7. Hi,

    My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago, we were dating for almost a year. Through the year we were always fighting, mainly because I start drama and fights about little things. Both him and I knew I had a problem so I went and seek help from a professional. We almost broken up a couple of times, but we both would agree on giving more time for me to stop being so dramatic. Well last week, he broke up with me saying he doesn’t want this anymore, and that we are not meant to be after a fight we had. I couldn’t help myself contacting him every second day last week even though we agreed on not talking for a while. He was being very nice and considerate every time we talked, until the last talk we had he was being cold and said he doesn’t have any feelings for me and he said we both should move on. He said there’s possibilities in the future we can still be together, but he’s not saying yes and he said we are letting fate decide that. He recently got contracted to a city far away for four months, he said he will visit home and will call me to have coffee. He said we can be friends in the future, but not right now because we both need to move on. Have I broke the no contact rule because I called after we broke up in the first week? From what I said, do you think I lost my man forever?

    1. Jess says:

      Have I broke the no contact rule because I called after we broke up in the first week? From what I said, do you think I lost my man forever?



      What are you 12 years old?

      First of all…you can not break the no contact rule if you never correctly started using it in the first place, make sense?

      And I highly doubt you have been following the free plan…it’s just a hunch.

      Relationships end, that’s a fact of life, and if you ever want another “fulfilling” relationship with anyone else (including your ex boyfriend), you MUST let go of all the old failed relationships in your life first.

      I help people get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,


      PS – Only fools leave their lives up to fate, we create our own lives with our thoughts and feelings. We started a topic about The Law of Attraction and Relationships in our forum.

  8. Hi, My fiance recently broke my heart and left me because he was not ready to be married. I understand this feeling of his however I want to be with him and I do not want to wait for him to come aroung while he “sews his wild oats” I did have a difficult time with our break up because I had to move out and back in with my family, and I lost my “family” (him) My grandmother was also diagnoised with cancer two weeks after we broke up and I had very little support outside the family so I leaned on him, which he was not happy with. I am still having a difficult time leaving him alone because I have recently found out so much about myself and I want to share it with my best friend. Please help, I know he is the man I want to grow old with even though we may not be ready to be married, I can’t wait for him to realize that he is ready to have me.

    1. Hi,

      You can’t stop him from wanting his freedom, but you can use the no contact rule to reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings for you.

      By correctly using NC you will also evolve past the break up, and get your life back again.

      You will learn how to be happy with or without your ex.

      I help people get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriends back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,


  9. Hi S.W.,

    I religiously followed the NC rule for 22 days straight. He emailed me on the 22th day and asked me to talk. I met him the two days later at a coffee shop. I followed all the reconciliation rules (picking a neutral place, keeping it under 1 hour, be cheerful and smile a lot). He told me he wants to fix things. I calmly listened to what he wanted to say but didn’t express my thoughts about the breakup or getting back together as I wasn’t ready for that. It was a friendly and pleasant meeting up. The next day he emailed me saying that he wants to fix things but he doesn’t know how. We broke up because our vision of future differs too much. I expect marriage but he doesn’t know what he wants. I emailed him back asking him what his vision of future is (thought after 22 days, he’d figure that our). He replied 2 days later saying that “I`ve been trying to answer this question for 2 days. I can`t believe I`m having such trouble with it.”

    I think I should probably just walk away from this man and let him figure it out on his own. I should go on with my own life. But I still don’t want to ruin the chance of getting back with him in the future. What should I reply to him? I’d love to heard your advice.

    Thank you very much!

    1. Rae says:

      I think I should probably just walk away from this man and let him figure it out on his own. I should go on with my own life. But I still don’t want to ruin the chance of getting back with him in the future. What should I reply to him?


      It sounds like you broke NC way too soon.

      You need to go read the free plan, and start NC over.

      That means following ALL the steps in the free plan, including sending the recommended NC message as outlined in the plan (without any changes).

      I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s.

      If you don’t get your life back first, you will never be ready for a new relationship, with or without your ex.

      You are holding yourself back.

      Thanks for writing.

      Take Care,


  10. Hi,

    First I’d like to thank you for making the effort to help the broken hears heal and to win our ex back. You probably get a lot questions daily. I will try to keep this short.

    My ex-boyfriend and I dated for about 8 months. We broke two weeks ago. The trigger was I found his chat log with his friend saying negative things about our relationship. When I confronted him, he said it’s totally untrue. He was trying to save his face because after our last argument he was angry so talked too big in front of his friend about breaking up with me and stuff. The next day he felt stupid telling his friend that he didn’t actually break up with me. I was very angry so I broke up with him that night because I didn’t know what to believe.

    Two days later, I was less angry. I thought maybe I should give us another chance or at least find out what is true. So I called him. Before I said anything, he told me that he’s sent me an email. The email was about how sorry he is and he knows that ha has lost the best girl for him. He wants me to be happy and thinks I deserve someone better. The next day he sent me two more emails telling me that he has doubt in himself. His not sure if he can live the family life. He also mentioned about his depression issue lately due to the lose of his mom.

    I was shocked because at the beginning of this relationship, he clearly told me that I am the first girl who ever made him consider marriage. Just a few months later, now he has a commitment issue. I didn’t reply or contact him for a week. I removed him from facebook and stopped going on skype and msn (we used to talk online everyday). During this week, he said to my friend that he wonders if we can ever be friends again. He told the friend that I have systematically deleted him from my entire existence. He called me tough-minded.

    A week later, I sent him an email saying that I agree with what he said and I feel sad that it ended this way. I told him that unfriended him on facebook not because of hate, but to give us space to think what we really want. He replied almost immediately saying that he has started talking to someone about his depression issue and I am the topic of the conversations a lot. He hopes that he can share them with me some day. At the end he said, he’s very very glad to hear from me.

    We have contacted each other in any form since this email. It’s been a little over a week. I know deep down, I still have feelings for him and hope that he could contact me. But as time goes by, this hope just get smaller and smaller. I’m thinking of following the NC for a month (3 weeks left). If he still haven’t contacted me by then, I will move on? Do you think if this is a good plan?

    Sorry that I still made this a novel. I don’t expect a reply from you but if I do get one, it will definitely brighten my day. Thanks for reading.

    1. Rae says:

      I’m thinking of following the NC for a month (3 weeks left). If he still haven’t contacted me by then, I will move on? Do you think if this is a good plan?


      First of all I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s…why?

      Because you have to evolve past the break up, clear your head, and regain your life from “the panic zone” before making any important decisions.

      Don’t kid yourself into believing you have to “rush” before you lose him, you already lost him, the questions is, do you “really” want him back.

      Was what you had really that good, or just an illusion?

      The saying “Love is Blind” should be “Love Makes You Blind”, when you let your emotions make your decisions, they are usually the wrong one’s depending upon the emotion you are feeling when you make them.

      The sad fact is that everyone going through a breakup makes their decisions under the feeling of desperation, this is NOT a good feeling to make decisions under…make sense?

      When you properly use NC, you take away the desperation, and gain back your life (control) again, and then once you can see with clear eyes and think with a clear mind, then you make your decision (about getting your ex back)…not a second sooner, or you will regret it.

      I truly believe we create our own destinies, and that fate only happens to those you do not take the time to create their destinies.

      They leave it up to fate…bad choice.

      The first thing you need to do, is go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,


      PS – You will get your life back (much faster), and you can learn how to create any destiny you want, by learning this secret:

      Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice

      You don’t have to settle for fate, you can create your own destiny.

      You can create the kind of destiny you want and deserve, if you learn how to attract it.

      “Destiny is not a matter of chance, but of choice. Not something to wish for, but to attain.” ~ William Jennings Bryan ~

      1. Hi Williams,

        I can’t thank you enough for your reply. I printed it out and am going to carry it with me. I think it will help me resiste the urge during the moments when I’m tempted to contact him.

        I just registered at your forum and am waiting for approval. I understad that sending the NC message is a must step in order to follow the free plan. However, (if you remember) in my last post I mentioned that a week ago I already sent him an email having the similar meaning as the NC message. Should I send him another NC message? Or should I leave it the way it is and just continue with the free plan?


        1. Rae says:

          I understad that sending the NC message is a must step in order to follow the free plan. However, (if you remember) in my last post I mentioned that a week ago I already sent him an email having the similar meaning as the NC message. Should I send him another NC message? Or should I leave it the way it is and just continue with the free plan?


          Sending the recommended NC message as outlined in the free plan is the most important step, you can’t skip it.

          Plus, you can’t become a member of our support forum unless you follow the plan like all the other members did.

          Take Care,


  11. Dear S.W.,
    I have just finished the no-contact period. But, in my situation, things are a bit tricky. My ex and I are part of the same youth organization, so, whether we like it or not, we get to see each other on a regular basis. Although we are still “friends”, and we act absolutely normally when we see each other, we had no “one to one” contact at all outside our meetings. No calling, no e-mail, no chat! Till last week, when we went to a mutual friend’s party, and he brought along a female friend. This friend was trying to be his “advocate”, always hinting at what a nice couple we make, and how good we looked together. Not to mention the links he posts on Facebook, showing the world how lonely and unhappy he feels! Cheesy, but funny! 😀 The following day, I had something to tell him, and I had to e-mail him. He sent a very affectionate reply straight away.
    Now I’m thinking about asking him for a coffee and a chat in town, just to talk things through, without scaring him away. Should I?
    Background info: it wasn’t a proper relationship, but more of a summer fling (which didn’t go very far, since I’m more of the cautious type). At a certain point, he started blowing hot & cold, and I pulled away, saying that I didn’t like unclear situations and game-playing, and that I deserved better. And I think I must have hurt his pride… 🙂 Now I still have strong feelings for him, although I realise how immature he can be!
    What would you advise me?

    Thanks! 😉

    1. Hi,

      NC has no period, 30 days is just a benchmark which is almost always too short.

      This is why I advise people to follow the free plan, and focus on getting their lives back, and not about how to get their ex’s back.

      If you go chasing him now, I can almost guarantee you will end up right back where you left off.

      You want someone who knows what they want, and if he hasn’t made any kind of move to ask you out, he still doesn’t know what he wants.

      I always love how women think they know what a man wants, and how to help him get it.

      Listen, if a man wants something bad enough, he goes after it…maybe he doesn’t want you as badly as “you think” he does?

      What are you going to do…go buy some ball bearings at the hardware store and give them to him so he has some balls?

      life doesn’t work that way, he has to find his own pair.

      I highly suggest you stop playing this little game, and truly focus on moving on, and see what he does.

      All the feelings in the world can not make someone have the same feelings for you, welcome to reality.

      Take Care,


      P.S. If you’re really serious about trying to reconnect, it is all laid out in the free plan.

      1. :-)))) The thing about the balls was sooo funny! Now that Christmas is coming, you gave me a good idea for a present! 😛
        I did my part with “focusing on moving on”. Last month I went on a short trip to Prague, where I met another guy, whom I actually like, and with whom I’ve been in non-stop contact since. Many of our mutual friends know about this guy, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they told HIM as well. The result? I felt he was starting to “warm up” to me again. But, I think he has to make a more determined move too. Or at least have the BALLS to give me an explanation or a straight answer: yes or no – and this is not a subjective matter (like someone’s feelings), but a matter of respect and being an adult! 😉 BTW, I’m a couple of years older than him. You can’t pursue someone (yes, it was him who pursued me in the first place), show tons of interest, then leave him / her in the dark for no apparent reason! At least I’d like to know what happened… if he has the BALLS to admit! 😀
        I think I will try your plan out!

        Take care,

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