Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back – Does The No Contact Rule Work?

Share

Are you interested in getting your ex boyfriend back? Learn how the no contact rule can help you. This strategy when done correctly will help you to get your ex back. Getting your ex boyfriend back is not as hard as you may think. So keep on reading, and lets find out how the no contact rule will help you get your ex boyfriend back.

Winning Back Your Ex By Pulling

When you chase your ex boyfriend he will most likely run. This is the first, and worst mistake you could make when getting your ex boyfriend back…Why? Because you want to pull him towards you not push him away with unwanted attention, and contact. This is where the no contact rule becomes your best weapon to get your ex boyfriend back. I know you’re wondering; “How can I get my ex boyfriend back if I do not keep in touch with him?”

Well, once you stop chasing him he will start to feel as if he has pushed you away for good. He will wonder if you are gone for good or what? Now you are back on his mind, and that is how it starts. Getting your ex boyfriend back with the no contact rule works. So you see that winning back your ex boyfriend is a lot easier if you pull him towards you, and not chase him away by pleading for his attention.

If Your Patient With The No Contact Rule You"ll Get Your Ex Back

Getting My Ex Boyfriend Back After No Contact Starts Working

Once you have your ex boyfriends attention again what do you do next? The best way to use the no contact rule to help you get your ex boyfriend back, is to take it slow once he starts coming around again. Most women go crazy, and jump the gun, and start professing their undying love, and start apologizing for everything.

All this should be done slowly and carefully. Tread lightly when you start getting your ex boyfriend back. Do not let your success with the no contact rule go to your head there is still a lot of work to do, and you will need a good plan to follow. Winning back your ex boyfriend will take time and patience. I suggest finding some good information with a plan to lead you through the rest of the process. Using the no contact rule as a tool to getting your ex boyfriend back works…if done correctly.

Don’t Let This Mistake Stop You From Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Why would anyone do this? I mean, do you really think by randomly searching the internet, that you are going to succeed? You need a plan, a plan that works, and you need it now. It doesn’t matter if you get the plan I recommend, or someone else’s, just get a plan, and start following it…OK? I will coach anyone who has a plan, for free, so stop wasting valuable time, and get busy winning your ex back. If you have any comments or questions for me, please write them in the comment box below, and I will answer them ASAP! What can I do to help you get your ex back? What are you willing to do to get your ex boyfriend back?

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people for more than 3 years to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free plan to get your ex back fast, and start getting your life back today. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.

Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.

If this article was useful or helpful to you in anyway, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.

Share

117 Responses to “Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back – Does The No Contact Rule Work?”

  1. stormy says:

    Hi, first I have already bought “the magic of making up” and another ebook. Both state the no contact rule. But heres my problem, We were close friends for years bfore we got together, we were together 2 years, and then he suddenly says he doen’t love me and hes been lieing to himself hes not happy.And I have constantly been begging n pleading for a month, he will listen and try to understand, and explain his point. But He wants to be friends, hes already talking to other females but says he has no interest or want for a relationship, he wants to be free with no limits. Still he calls, drops by my house when he wants to see me. Come to all our family events. (hes godfather to all my nieces and nephews). He will spend the night. As long as its what he wants to do. we have even sleep together a few time since. neither ebook says anything bout him being in constant contact with me. him actually wanting a serious friendship. Should I tell him to stop calling and coming around, or just stay in the friend zone and hope he comes to his senses??

  2. S. Williams says:

    @ stormy:

    stormy wrote:

    “neither ebook says anything bout him being in constant contact with me.”

    I answer that question as well in my FAQs, (1.A) have you taken the time to read my Blog?

    That’s what it’s here for!

    Here is a direct quote from page 10 of The Magic of Making up:

    “Avoiding Avoidance

    You want to take a break, but sometimes dealing with an ex in your daily life is inevitable. For example – you may work together, take classes together, or truly travel in the same circle of friends. Unless you want to hole up like a hermit, you don’t want to be rude and completely ignore your ex, but you just don’t want to open up the lines of deep communication. Just smile, be friendly, say, “Hello,” and then walk away or go about your business.”

    Now, cereal boxes don’t come with specific directions, yet we all figure out to use a spoon and shovel it into our mouths, right?

    Sometimes you just have to read between the lines, or just read my Blog, and you will answer your own questions.

    First question; what does no contact mean to you?

    To me it means breaking off all contact that is personal in nature.

    Read the books you have, I am sure in the magic of making up you will see that TW says to politely tell your ex you need some time, and would like it if they would give it to you.

    If they don’t respect your wishes, then ignore their attempts to contact you.

    How hard is that?

    If I had a dollar for every time someone thought “their” situation was “unique” I would be in the Bahamas right now instead of answering a question I have answered a million times before.

    News Flash Stormy!

    You’re situation is no different than anyone else’s…OK?

    Why don’t you read the Magic of Making up again, and follow the plan correctly.

    You will be Amazed at how well it works when you follow the directions, and do ALL the exercises.

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  3. stormy says:

    I was happy to find somewhere i thought i could get some clarification. Excuse me if my situation is no different than anyone elses and undeserving of a proper answer. I come here looking for advice and guidence, to receive a rant from you. I have been through enough, I don’t need judgement past on me. Of the entire book all it said of my situation was those 4 lines. Im confused and upset and needed some clarification. And yeah we all figure out how to “shovel cereal in our month” but not until someone take the time to show us how, they don’t just say eat!

  4. S. Williams says:

    stormy wrote:

    “Im confused and upset and needed some clarification.”

    Do you know why I built this Blog?

    To help the people that the other “marketers” will sell to, but will not support.

    Once again did you take the time to read my fucking Blog before you started whining?

    I am here to help people “help themselves” you bought those books from someone else, why didn’t they help you?

    Let me answer that, because they don’t care, and you rewarded them with money.

    I bust my ass, spend my money to provide a free service, and do you take an hour or two to read my Blog, before giving me your life story, and asking a question I have answered in many comments before? Nope.

    There is a real good reason for that section at the top of my Blog called “Start Here First”.

    The first question it answers is how to start no contact, what to do right after your ex breaks up with you.

    When someone can not take the time to read, and thinks that I have all day to answer the same question over and over again…that’s being selfish…period!

    I actually work personally with my customers besides doing this for free for everyone else, I make the time for you without any compensation.

    All I ask is that you take the time to read before asking your questions.

    Is that too much to ask?

    I guess so, but then again you didn’t buy the book from me, you rewarded some asshole who will take your money and then slam the door in your face.

    You don’t have the time to read my Blog, but you have the time to whine to me about being inconsiderate.

    Hello! You’re the fucking inconsiderate one.

    Here is some red hot advice for you, and everyone else out there.

    The sooner you pull your head out of your ass, and stop feeling sorry for yourself, the sooner I will be able to help you out of your painful situation.

    Like I say over and over, Emotional Control self help tools are the key to success when dealing with relationship problems…it’s drug free, and it works.

    Now, if this is just too “realistic” for you, then go hang out in a Heart Break Forum, and whine with all the other cry babies.

    My Blog is for people who want to get strong enough to kick loves ass…

    Are you ready?

    I am for “real” I am not here to take your money.

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  5. stormy says:

    I like you! Your very firey! I respect that. Hell yeah I want to kick loves ass!!! My head is now out of my ass and I refuse to go whine with the other cry babies!! So may we move forward?? I have never blogged before Iam a novice, I have read many of the clickable post with questions and pages. Is that the “blog”? If not I don’t know where it is. Second I apologize I did not read the start here section, I didn’t see it, I had read stuff in the post, catagories, and tag sections. I bought the book from “http://www.magicofmakingup.com/” And I don’t know why those asshole didn’t offer help. I should not have been so inconsiderate and selfish, you are trying to help people and I must have really frustrated you, I apologise to you and any other readers.

  6. S. Williams says:

    @ stormy:

    No problem!

    If you didn’t know how to use the Blog, that would’ve been the question to ask; How do I find things on your blog?

    More important than the articles themselves are the comments below some of them, that’s where I have been answering a lot of the same questions.

    That’s why I’m here to help.

    Isn’t it easier to breathe once you pull your head out of your ass? ;)

    I also just wrote an article about how to use NC, it will post tomorrow.

    I understand all you people are sad, but you won’t get anywhere if you don’t work to snap out of it, and start learning what to do to get your life back…understand?

    Even though what we really want is to get my ex back, in the end it is really about getting your life, and happiness back again…sometimes the “ex” doesn’t come back. (50/50 chance).

    I will tell you one thing for sure, the sooner you get serious about this, and focus, the better your chances are of getting both…really?

    Now, go read that section, and let me know if I need to add anything to it to make clearer…OK? I ask that at the very end of that section, but no one has responded so I figure it must be OK.

    Welcome back!

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  7. Sahr2 says:

    Hi,

    I recently visited your website and it looks quite useful. I was reading the article ‘Does My Ex Boyfriend Want Me Back? – 3 Revealing Signs’ and one of the signs was overreacting.

    What if he says that he hates you a few times and talks to you on the phone for almost an hour and then 3 weeks go by and he runs away from you when you try to talk to him in person. I know it sounds weird, but just wondering what that means.

    Basically, I didn’t give him the space he needed and I am wondering maybe that’s what he needs.

    thanks,
    Sarah

  8. S. Williams says:

    Sahr2 wrote:

    What if he says that he hates you a few times and talks to you on the phone for almost an hour and then 3 weeks go by and he runs away from you when you try to talk to him in person. I know it sounds weird, but just wondering what that means.

    Basically, I didn’t give him the space he needed and I am wondering maybe that’s what he needs.

    Hi Sahr2,

    Well if he runs away from you there isn’t much you can do…right?

    If you chase him he will only run faster, so…

    Maybe you should get yourself a plan like the one I recommend The Magic of Making Up.

    If you already have a book, and a plan to follow, then use the information on my Blog to fill in the missing pieces, and make a plan, and stick to it.

    If he still has any deep feelings for you, time will bring them out, even he starts dating other women that does not mean his feelings for you are gone.

    I think when a guy runs away from you he is scared, scared about some feelings that he can’t deal with right now.

    This would be a great time to follow a good no contact plan.

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  9. Sahr2 says:

    Anyway, sorry for this long comment, and I appreciated your last response.

    Do you think my ex was being over dramatic by indicating that he hates me but at the same time has the nerve to talk to me about all this in one hour? I just thought that if you hate someone, you will try to avoid the individual, however he has given mixed reactions. I thought that after 3 weeks time, seeing him in person would be appropriate, however he ran away. I don’t expect adults to physically run away, but this was the first time I saw this. Anyway, I guess people at all ages react differently to difficult situations.

    Now 3 weeks have gone by since he ran away and I don’t plan to contact him, however I don’t know what’s wrong with him. Do you think the no communication with him will make change his behavior? I’m just concerned that 8 weeks could go by and he still won’t contact me, however in one his previous e-mails he did indicate that he need 3 months to get over all our disagreements.

  10. S. Williams says:

    Sahr2 wrote:

    Do you think my ex was being over dramatic by indicating that he hates me but at the same time has the nerve to talk to me about all this in one hour? I just thought that if you hate someone, you will try to avoid the individual, however he has given mixed reactions.

    People say things that they don’t mean all the time, especially when under emotional stress.

    Believe it or not, this break up is hard on your ex as well.

    It can not be easy to make a decision like that, and most of time they make these decisions without thinking them all the way through, they believe that breaking up is the only solution…but they are wrong.

    That is why it is important to follow a plan to help (force) them to discover, and deal with their true feelings for you.

    You are in a sense saving them from themselves, and saving your relationship at the same time.

    I agree you have the toughest job, but someone has to do it…right?

    If both of you sit around waiting for the other one to take action, it may never happen.

    Sahr2 wrote:

    however in one his previous e-mails he did indicate that he need 3 months to get over all our disagreements.

    I think you just answered your own question about whether to use no contact, or not.

    But, stay strong if he tries to contact you too soon…OK?

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  11. nihal says:

    Hi, Thanks for sendin me to this blog. I find it quite interestin!
    I have a big in my relation and I don’t know what to do.
    I’d really be glad if u could offer any help or advice. In fact I hav been with my guy for about Four years, since we were students. At the beg I really really had no admiration for him. He was d kind that wld put me off!! cldn’t even imagin myself kissin him!! (but he was a good guy really). So, I rejected him. But, he kept tryin on and on through all the romantic ways that can thrill a woman. he showed real love that any woman dreams about ( from writin poems, to bringin flowers to kissin your hand ect…..) after sometime I really started developpin emotions for him, nd yeap I fell!! Once, he got sure of my feelings, he started askin abt more intimate nd phisical relation, which I rejected ( bec its against my religion/ standards nd I wld like to keep that to my weddin’ night). The strange thing is that at the beginin of the relation he wld accept all my opinions. When I said no sex b4 marriage nd thats one of my principles, he would agree nd the same goes for other issues. but, later all he wld do is start naggin abt the same issue on nd on until I wished I didnt love him. I started feelin the weakest in the relation, or he was makin me feelin so!! he wld show less nd less nd I found myself clingiy nd so neeedy. Lately, he came to me nd confessed that he had sex with someone, just for the hell of it cuz he cldnt go on like that!! He was desperate nd said that he has never stopped lovin me nd that I was always in his heart nd that he hated what he has done. To cut this short, he asked for forgivness nd I forgav him nd took him back. ( by the way, he has always been referin to me as his wife After I forgav him , he has become all the lovin hero again: calls me constantly, sweet words, acts, surprises. In short, he made me feel like a queen nd I cld c tears in his eyes nd feel love when he hugged or kissed me.
    So, we started planning for our marriage to come shortly. About two months later, he confessed he is afraid that he is attracted to me only sexually nd he is confused nd he doesn’t know why this happens to him ( keeps fallin in nd out for me) nd said he wld prefer to postpone marriage nd wish if we stayed lovers. ( though he is makin me go nuts) I reacted calmly nd said I agree abt No marriage but am not goin to be ur mistress so forget abt it!! I also said dont contact me untill u have really made ur mind nd even asked for a breakup! he rejected the idea nd showed so upset but I said this is my decision. Another thing is that just lately we would argue so often about my clothes. After 4 years , he comes now to tell me that he feels jealous If I wear jeans or shorts cuz the other guys wld stare at my A**** OR LEGS OR P*****. And this is one of the reasons why he is reconsiderin our marriage!! I find this crazy!! I really get suffocated when I think abt this ( bec he wasn’t like that at all!! When I first met him) Am disappointed!! I really Love this guy but am afraid nd I dont know how to proceed. One big mistake I did is tryin to contact him after our last dispute! He didn’t answer me. So, I stopped!! I didn’t contact him for 15 days now ( nd I don’t intend to). I wish he will be back as before, so loving, caring and open (nd initiate marriage)!! What shall I do? Any advice or help will be very welcome!
    D.H

  12. S. Williams says:

    nihal wrote:

    So, I stopped!! I didn’t contact him for 15 days now ( nd I don’t intend to). I wish he will be back as before, so loving, caring and open (nd initiate marriage)!! What shall I do?

    Hi Nihal,

    No contact is your best bet right now while you figure out your next move.

    Do you have a plan, or a book to learn more about getting your ex back?

    If not I suggest you get one, because my advice is designed to work hand in hand with the information provided in these books.

    This will help you with learning more about relationships, and how to fix them.

    But I am afraid your boyfriend will have to work on his jealousy on his own, that is “his” problem and he must take action to help himself to control that.

    Keep reading the Blog, and all the comments as well, make sure you stop by the section called “Start Here First”.

    I hope this helped.

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  13. nihal says:

    Hi,

    Thank u so much! I wanna get a book but am just confused bec there r soo many!! wld be glad if u suggested one! ( guess the magin of makin up?) Thank u again!

    Regards,

    Nihal

  14. S. Williams says:

    nihal wrote:

    Hi,
    Thank u so much! I wanna get a book but am just confused bec there r soo many!! wld be glad if u suggested one! ( guess the magin of makin up?) Thank u again!
    Regards,
    Nihal

    You’re Welcome!

    Yes, that is the the one book/plan that I work with…you can get it here:

    Nihal wants her ex back

    I look forward to working with you.

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  15. Sahr2 says:

    Hi,

    I was wondering whether the ‘no contact’ rule could apply to my situation where the break up was in the fall of 2007 and I didn’t give the guy enough space and just continued to contact him until I stopped in April of 2009. He was ok with being friends up in till summer of 2008, but that always bothered me, and then out of anger said some mean things. I don’t know if the ‘no contact’ rule can be used if all the bridges have been burned?

    thanks,
    sahr2

  16. S. Williams says:

    Sahr2 wrote:

    I didn’t give the guy enough space and just continued to contact him until I stopped in April of 2009. He

    The no contact rule will give him the space he asked for.

    Sahr2 wrote:

    I don’t know if the ‘no contact’ rule can be used if all the bridges have been burned?

    How can you be sure “all” the bridges have been burned?

    You have to approach this situation with a positive attitude, and a good plan…do you have either?

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  17. Sahr2 says:

    Scott,

    That’s a good point. I have the book but need to be more positive. I appreciate your feedback and optimism!

    sahr2

  18. Sophie says:

    HI,
    I wonder I you could help me out. See My ex broke up with me almost 2 months ago. At first I send him messages I apologyzed and even wrote him a letter telling him how sorry I was. A couple of weeks later I stopped sending messages to him and then let the time go by. Two weeks ago I send him a cute message and he send me a happy face and a kiss by text message and I went all happy. After that I´ve been sending him cute text messages every other day and he answers me which he never does if he´s not interested in someone so that leaves me thinking…. he called me on monday and he asked me to hang out some day then yesterday morning he told me to do something last night but after that text message in the morning he didn´t tell me anything, not even a text message not a call. I was so sad…. today i send him a cute message and he didn´t answer me after that i haven´t send him a message not even called him. I don´t know what to do i´m so sad because i got all happy knowing that he could be a little interested in me, oh well it seems he´s not!! Help me I don´t know what to do!!=S
    PS: He is the pastor´s son of the church I go to and I get to see him every weekend… I try to pretend I´m always happy, don´t know if i´m doing the correct thing…. Thank you very much for your help!!!
    So should I send him more messages or just keep on ignoring him since he was all rude enough to ignore me last night and left me waiting for his invitation??
    I think he is all use to let the ladies call him and stuff but i´m not like that i´m different!!!

  19. S. Williams says:

    Sophie wrote:

    See My ex broke up with me almost 2 months ago. At first I send him messages I apologyzed and even wrote him a letter telling him how sorry I was. A couple of weeks later I stopped sending messages to him and then let the time go by.

    Did you tell him why you stopped?

    You need to properly initiate no contact otherwise it won’t work as you found out.

    Sophie wrote:

    PS: He is the pastor´s son of the church I go to and I get to see him every weekend… I try to pretend I´m always happy, don´t know if i´m doing the correct thing…. Thank you very much for your help!!!

    It sucks pretending, why don’t you find another church to go to?

    Who wants to be reminded of their failed relationship every week?

    Sophie wrote:

    So should I send him more messages or just keep on ignoring him since he was all rude enough to ignore me last night and left me waiting for his invitation??

    If you’re really serious about getting him back, and understanding what happened and why, then get a book about relationship repair.

    The Magic Of Making Up System

    Once you get the book read it, and then start with the section of my Blog entitled “Start Here First“, and read my whole Blog.

    Then go back to the book and start with chapter one, and do every exercise.

    In the meantime use the information you read in “Start Here First” to properly initiate no contact if he tries to contact you again.

  20. Cheryl says:

    I have a history of 25 yrs with my ex. He came back in January and asked for another chance. You see I was the only woman that has ever truly loved him. He has Chrones Disease and has been sick since he was 14 he is now 42. We have a 13 yr old son together. We have broken up before and he always comes back to me. Our love is very strong but we have had problems along the way. He works long hours in the plumbing and heating business and he is always on call. He is the foreman at his job and he wants to buy the business. Because of this and his medical condition he’s always on the go. When he came back I understood this but I wanted a little more of his time so we could work on things and I wanted reassurance that this was really it.The medication he takes is forever and caused his impotency and when he and I were together this happened. He was devestated and embarrassed. He said he didn’t know if he could make me happy. Spending very little time together because of work and medical appointments I ended our relationship on his voicemail.I regret that very much! I tried to call him and his phone was shut off and I got mad. He shuts his phone off sometimes because it’s a work phone and when he finally sleeps he doesn’t want to be bothered with work calls. He said that he deal with it the following day. I texted him alot and asked to see him to talk. He wouldn’t talk to me at all. He said that he was with someone and a relationship with me isn’t possible. I know he still loves me and I haven’t contacted him in acouple of weeks.I love this man very much and I told him I wanted to sever all ties with him and from our son. I’m hurting so much and I never see him because he works 7 days a week. Idon’t know how things will turn out for us and I keep hoping they will turn out great with given time and patience.We always had a very loving and strong relationship and I know he misses me too. He kept asking me to be patient and everything will work itself out and hope for the best and I blew it. I keep myself busy but he is on my mind constantly. I pray everyday that we will be together soon.

  21. Cheryl says:

    @ Sophie:
    I know where your coming from. I haven’t contacted my ex in months.It’s very difficult to do but I’m taking one day at a time. When he’s ready to talk I guess then they’ll come around but the time in between is very difficult! Hang in there and we can only hope for the best.

  22. Cheryl says:

    @ Sophie:
    I know where your coming from. I haven’t contacted my ex in months.It’s very difficult to do but I’m taking one day at a time. When he’s ready to talk I guess then they’ll come around but the time in between is very difficult! Hang in there and we can only hope for the best.@ Sahr2:

  23. Cheryl says:

    I’m so glad you asked that question! I told my ex that I was severing all ties with him and I had no intention of seeing him ever again. Actually I told his sister that but I know she told him. We have a son together and I know he’ll come back but with him I want all or nothing. I haven’t contacted him at all and I’m dying too but I’m trying to be strong.

  24. lis says:

    @ stormy:

    you deserve soo much better then to be strung along by a guy who clearly does not respect you enough to give you the love you deserve. A man who is truly in love with you would not need to ‘free with no limits’ or ‘just not want to be in a relationship’. If the thought of not being with you doesnt make him sick to his stomach, then he is not worth the pain and heartache you will endure if you take him back because believe me this will be a cycle. Take it from a 23 year old that has played this game for 6 years. You deserve a loving healthy relationship and he is not in a state to emotionally give you what you deserve, and that is a guy who will be there for you 100%. good luck and god bless

  25. Kellet says:

    This is my first time ever asking for advice via the internet, but after going through hundreds of websites for “what to do’s,” I feel this is might be my only hope.

    I dated my bf for almost a year and a half. We lived together for over a year, before he moved back to his parents. Our relationship has always been great. We have had our fair share of fights , but we managed to always learn from them and pull through for one another. Back in October, I decided to break it off with him. It wasnt because I didnt love him, but after being in relationships for so many years (back to back) I thought I owe it to myself to be on my own, before this relationship went to the next level. I wasnt looking to be with anyone, I just wanted to be on my own, and maybe how I handled it wasnt the best choice. But nonethless, I broke it off, and during our break up, I would contact him. Pleading, crying, asking for him to be there for me, and inevitably come back to me. Personally, Im not the type to look back when I break up with someone, but this was different, and I have learned alot from my actions, and my moments of solitude. I tried to give him “space” while contacting him. I would txt, lighthearted messages, and try to support him from a distance. But just last friday, he sent me an email saying he didnt want my support directly, and wanted to figure things out for his life, on his own. He felt there was still a future for us, but not anytime soon. In addition, he was upset that I had placed him as a priority in my life. But with the newfound understanding in my life, I couldnt help but want to win back the man i love. I wrote back a few days later, saying I understood and respected the break up. ..

    Now Im getting nervous and worried. If I do this “no contact” rule, will I win him back? This is the man I love and is willing to do what it takes, but Im afraid that my attempts at this point (with the no contact rule) will be too late, and my future with him looks bleak.

    I dont know if this commented on, but along with the “no contact rule” does this mean putting my social networks on private and avoiding any online cues (such as away messages, signing on when hes on) It sounds sort of childish to ask, but I havent called or texted/email him, but dont know if these other alternatives will hinder at my progression.

    I Hope to get some clarity from asking these questions.

  26. S. Williams says:

    Kellet wrote:

    but dont know if these other alternatives will hinder at my progression.

    Hi Kellet,

    The only thing that can hinder your progress is you…if you can not stick with a plan and fight to get your life back.

    I can not help you.

    You have the same questions a lot of the people before you had, and they found their own answer in the process of going through their own personal evolution.

    People seem to think that I have an answer to every question, and situation…wow I must be a demi-god or something.

    Sorry I am just a mortal man who decided to try and help people who asked for it.

    I am not an expert…but I have helped people succeed.

    I offer the free plan to people who complain they can’t afford a book.

    The plan is the beginning of your journey…it’s a map.

    It starts with using the correct NC message word for word, and then it becomes different for each person…why?

    Because every person is different, and their situation is unique…but the problem is the same, and they all want the same result.

    This journey will help you get your life back first…why?

    Because if you don’t get your life back as a single person you will never get your ex back.

    I can’t explain each and every detail…but if you follow the plan, and stay strong you will succeed.

    Some people succeeded, and then decided they didn’t want their ex back…even though their ex was begging them to come back.

    I can not tell what you want, or what is best for you, only you can…and your personal evolution will help guide you.

    This plan is not about getting your ex back…it’s about getting your life, and happiness back…and that means different things to different people at different times in their lives.

    So how could anyone pin point that?

    You took a risk when you fell in love, right?

    Following the free plan is no different…is it?

    You won’t get anything in life worth a damn without taking a risk.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  27. Erin says:

    Hi, I’m 38 years old and my boyfriend, age 35, recently broke up with me after we had a huge argument. We were together for 4 months, madly in love with each other. He told me I was his soulmate, the love of his life, the best thing that ever happened to him, that he had never been happier before, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I felt the same way. It was like the one thing you always wished would happen came along and we were so happy together. His best friend of several years, a female, had been trying to break us up since we met saying I was not right for him and trying to convince him not to be with me. She never met me before because of her doing this so she doesn’t have anything to go on. His friendship with her was off and on while we were together. She again said more about me and he again ended his friendship with her but didn’t give me any details on what happened. My boyfriend and I went out togther one night, had some drinks and a really good time and when we got home, I stupidly brought his friend up at the wrong time. We both said things to each other and had an argument. When I tried to reach him the next day, she was at his house and we argued more and said some pretty unkind things to each other that we didn’t really mean. The next morning he texted me to never contact him again. I texted, called, emailed, apologized,mailed an apology letter, stopped by but he wouldn’t let me in, begged, acted desperate and he never responded. I got one email from him a week later outlining how upset he was at me, blaming me for everything, telling me I hurt him more than anyone ever has in his entire life, that he loved me so much and I ruined what we had, that I broke his heart, that he hopes I hurt half as much as he does, and to never contact him again. I again called, texted, and sent a nasty email back telling him it wasn’t all my fault and that I was heartbroken too. I bought the Magic of Making Up and it’s been 3 days since I stopped talking to him. I don’t think these techniques will work with him because I don’t think he will ever talk to me again. We did not have any other problems before this, complaints, or arguments. We had a huge fight and both acted stupidly. I can get past that but he can’t. He sees me differently now. I am going tow wait now and see if he ever contacts me again. I already do spend time with my friends, I always keep up my appearances and don’t have any extra weight to lose, and I am already active at work and socially, I excercise regularly already and eat healthy so I am not sure what to do with this Magic of Making Up advice other than just wait and see. I don’t have any extra time to take on additional projects so how can this advice help me other than just wait. Any other ideas?

  28. S. Williams says:

    Erin wrote:

    I bought the Magic of Making Up and it’s been 3 days since I stopped talking to him. I don’t think these techniques will work with him because I don’t think he will ever talk to me again. We did not have any other problems before this, complaints, or arguments. We had a huge fight and both acted stupidly. I can get past that but he can’t. He sees me differently now.

    Hi Erin,

    I don’t have much hope with that attitude you are entertaining at the moment.

    You have made the same mistakes that everyone else has…you’re situation is NO different.

    You were only with him for 4 months. I am sure problems would have popped up agter a while…they always do.

    But when you know how to handle them they will not be a problem.

    This guy should have known better than let his female friend tell him how to live his life…live and learn.

    IMHO-She sounds like a bitter bitch who needs to get a life of her own.

    And you can help her…how?

    By following the free plan on my Blog and kicking loves ass, and her as at the same time.

    She thinks she has won…she is WRONG!

    You can win, but you have to change your attitude about what you can, and can not do here, OK?

    I would bet my life that your ex will talk to you again…that is just your emotions doing the thinking…not your head.

    Your break up is still fresh with minimum damage…you’re in a great position.

    Go read the whole free plan once through, and then start at the top and follow every step.

    The faster you can follow these steps without questioning them, the faster you will kick her ass out of the picture, sound good?

    You came to the right place.

    We follow a totally unique plan that works, with support like you will not find anywhere on the internet, and it’s free.

    The basic plan is to get your life back first, and then get your ex back…everyone else thinks the other way around.

    Take action today!

    S.W.

  29. maggie says:

    what if he meets sombody elese in the 30days of no contact and foregets about me? what if he trys to ring or text do i answer?

  30. S. Williams says:

    maggie wrote:

    what if he meets sombody elese in the 30days of no contact and foregets about me? what if he trys to ring or text do i answer?

    Hi Maggie,

    Think about what you just said.

    If he can forget about you in 30 days, he wasn’t very much in love with you…was he?

    You can’t not try to look too far ahead and predict an outcome.

    If you could tell the future you would have seen this break up coming and would have been able to correct things before it happened, right?

    So it is obvious you’re not a fortune teller, so why don’t you calm down, focus, and follow a proven plan that works instead.

    If he tries to contact you, do not answer.

    You will understand once you have been following the system for a while.

    Warning-This plan takes courage and guts…if you don’t have any I would suggest you look somewhere else for help, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  31. Sally says:

    Hi Scott
    All though its going well, one thing does worry me. Im pretty sure it wouldnt happen. But i have a supportive family and set of friends, who are not best happy with my ex for hurting me. They promised me if they happened to bump into him they wouldnt say anything, just ‘hello’. However if one of them did happenb to see him (not likely, but cud happen) and they said something not nice would this break my nc, and the plan im following?

  32. Sally says:

    Hi one last thing, i have aslo been worried about that if my ex knew my family were not best pleased with his behaviour it would stop him from coming back. My family dont hate him they just dont agree or like his behaviour and im sure he knows this. Would this stop someone from coming back?

  33. S. Williams says:

    Sally wrote:

    All though its going well, one thing does worry me.

    Stop looking too far ahead…follow the plan…one-step-at-a-time.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

    P.S.Before you ask me any more questions read the free plan, and follow the steps to get free support in our forum.This is a VERY important part of the process.

    But make sure you read, and follow the guidelines first.

  34. maggie says:

    thanks i know it does and im willing to do anything, i can do it and im so happy i found this sight, im going to get the book aswell, i look forward to having him back =)

  35. S. Williams says:

    @ maggie:

    Great Choice Maggie! :)

  36. Sally says:

    Hi Scott i have read the free plan, and will continue to do so following the steps. Its early days for me and still get moments of insecurtity. Am i right in thinking if the plan is followed correctly any man worth their salt wud come back even if my family did not agree with their behaviour that led to the break up ans they knew this?

  37. S. Williams says:

    @ Sally:
    What do you think?

    If you need more support join our forum.

  38. Scott says:

    Where is the link for the forum?

  39. S. Williams says:

    Scott wrote:

    Where is the link for the forum?

    Hi Scott,

    Go to the top of my Blog and find the lionk for the free plan.

    Follow all the steps, and they will lead you to the forum.

    Make sure you read and follow the forum guidelines and free plan before joining, or it could be a very short membership, understand?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  40. mambo_dude says:

    I know about the No Contact rule and I am applying it. But it has been 2 weeks and he still has not initiated any contact with me. Should I initiate contact? Does this means that he will just forget about me and move on?

    I am very worried that applying this no contact rule will make him go and find other girls and forget about me.

  41. S. Williams says:

    mambo_dude wrote:

    I know about the No Contact rule and I am applying it.

    Hi,

    You’re not using it correctly.

    Are you following the free plan on my Blog (link at the top)?

    2 weeks of NC is not enough, and as long as you are worried about losing your ex, you will not get your ex back.

    If you don’t know what I mean, then you’re not following no contact correctly…start following the free plan.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  42. Anna says:

    I used the no contact rule for about 7 months and within that time I changed my phone number. Then I sent a text message to my ex.. and he was all curious about, but I really want him back even though I´m pretending to be his friend while he starts talking to me again and it seems to be workin. He text messages to me and invites me to go out but the thing is he calls me at 10 pm to go out. I know he is a dog and he even ask me to have sex with him even though we haven´t talked much. I´ve never had sex with him before because I know he just wants that and then leave me alone… and if I don´t I guess he´ll be there… Any advice??

  43. Sophie says:

    Thanks Cheryl I love what you wrote me!!! Believe me it has helped me…

  44. Sophie says:

    By the way I am Anna, that´s my first name I forgot to go by Sophie lol…

    I changed church by the way, when you told me to do so…

  45. S. Williams says:

    Anna wrote:

    I know he is a dog and he even ask me to have sex with him even though we haven´t talked much. I´ve never had sex with him before because I know he just wants that and then leave me alone… and if I don´t I guess he´ll be there… Any advice??

    Hi Anna,

    Yes.

    Find a new boyfriend.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  46. Maria says:

    Even though me and my boyfriend broke up a month ago, we didn’t contact each other that much. There was just some contact, but enough to make me fall a little a bit in the friend zone :S

    I sent him the no contact text message two days ago, and always keeps around a diary where I write down my feelings. I think I’m driving my parents crazy, so diary is a must XD

    So my question is: Will the message work, even though we didn’t contact each other that much after the break up :-D

    Thanks!

  47. Maria says:

    whoops! forgot to say, that I looove my wavavatar XD

    It’s expression looks just like me XD

  48. S. Williams says:

    Maria wrote:

    So my question is: Will the message work, even though we didn’t contact each other that much after the break up :-D

    Hi,

    It will work great, if you don’t break NC, and follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

    Maria wrote:

    whoops! forgot to say, that I looove my wavavatar XD
    It’s expression looks just like me XD

    Yeah, isn’t that weird?

    They are randomly computer generated images.

    Glad you like it :hurray:

  49. Vanessa says:

    HI,
    My Boyfriend told me he needs to sort himself out financially and that he is very confused he doesn’t know whether he has feelings for me anymore I haven’t heard from him in 4 days, does that mean he has forgotten about me and moved on or will he call me.

  50. Emma says:

    My boyfriend of 2 years has left me for another woman. Bad I know but we did have alot of issues in the relationship towards the end and it was rocky anyway.
    But I do actually believe that we could try and rekindle things and take things back to the start and learn from our mistakes. but he wasn’t interested in doing this and just wants to be ‘friends’.
    I’ve read the above blog about no contact. But does this rule still apply when he’s with another woman?

  51. S. Williams says:

    Emma wrote:

    I’ve read the above blog about no contact. But does this rule still apply when he’s with another woman?

    Yes!

    Go read the free plan, and follow ALL the steps, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  52. Monserah says:

    Dear S.W,

    I have gone through your free plan but I need to know whether it’ll still work if I did not send the NC message like you asked to do. I came across your site only today and right now I’m in the NC phase (minus the NC message) for 2 weeks.

    I’d be grateful if you could tell me whether I should still stick to your plan? Btw, I previously tried NC with the same person and it worked, but then misfired because I kind of gave in too easily.

    Any help would be highly appreciated.

    Thanks

  53. S. Williams says:

    Monserah wrote:

    I came across your site only today and right now I’m in the NC phase (minus the NC message) for 2 weeks.

    Hi,

    If you did not follow ALL the steps in the free plan, you are not using NC correctly.

    If you want to get the best results, you need to start from the beginning of the free plan, and send the recommended NC message (without changes).

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  54. Monserah says:

    @ S. Williams:

    Hey S.W,

    Thank you for replying. I would love to use ALL the steps in the free plan, that’s why I asked whether it is too late to send the NC message.

    My case is quite complicated. I kind of sent a NC message, then it worked (he said he wanted me back), then I gave in too easily and it misfired! The last message I sent him was that we need to talk and I haven’t heard from him since then. It’s been 2 weeks since we contacted each other. So I assume I can still send the NC message?

    Just another query – What if he’s playing a similar kind of game with me? I get the impression that’s why he’s doing- ignoring me until I beg him to take me back. So I wonder what the results will be if we’re both playing the same game? One of us will have to make the first step.

    P.S. He never said he wants to break up. He didn’t even say he wanted a break – he just went into NC with me for a week after an argument until I told him it’s best to break up and I started my NC game. I’m really confused of what he wants and to be frank, it’s killing me!

    I hope I made myself clear enough. Just wanted to clear those last few queries before I start the plan. Btw, kudos for your work and blog. I read other user comments and success stories – I admire what you’re doing.

    Thanks again.

  55. S. Williams says:

    Monserah wrote:

    P.S. He never said he wants to break up. He didn’t even say he wanted a break – he just went into NC with me for a week after an argument until I told him it’s best to break up and I started my NC game.

    Hi,

    NC is NOT a game.

    It is a plan to help you get your life back as a single person again.

    After that you can make an “unclouded” decision as what you want to do next.

    Send your ex the version about agreeing to take a break, even though he did not say he wanted a break, his silence did…understand?

    Don’t try to over analyze the free plan, just follow it because it works, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  56. Monserah says:

    @ S. Williams:

    Thanks again S.W! Actually, I was quite confused and thought that instead of sending the NC message now, I’ll wait until 3 weeks on NC (since 2 weeks has passed already) and send a casual mail about something that interests us (i.e. jump to the reconnection step).

    But now, I’ll send the NC message version about agreeing to take a break ASAP and follow your free plan. This relationship was the best I ever had and it was near perfect. I’m ready to do anything it takes to win him back.

    Btw, I hope your free plan still works in LDR? (I read that it’s better to have a face-to-face meeting for the reconnecting phase). We’re in 2 different countries, miles apart and it might take a couple of months until we meet each other again, if we do. For now, the only connection we have is through Instant Messaging services.

    Thanks a lot!

  57. S. Williams says:

    Monserah wrote:

    tw, I hope your free plan still works in LDR? (I read that it’s better to have a face-to-face meeting for the reconnecting phase).

    There are quite a few success stories for LDR’s in our forum.

    I was just pointing out that if it was at all possible, wait until you can be face to face to set up your first meeting (for maximum effect).

    But as you will read, reconnections have worked without being face to face…where there is a will, there is a way…after all, true love will NOT be denied.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  58. Monserah says:

    @ S. Williams:

    Thank you again! It feels good to know that I’m not alone in all this misery.

    Sorry, I’m bombarding you with questions (it’s maybe my anxious nature). One last question: upon second thought, I’m finding it a little awkward to send the NC message after 2 weeks of NC. I mean, I was the last one to send a message telling him we need to talk and then he never replied back (although we see each other online on IMs). I’m unable to make up my mind – should I send the NC message now or wait until he talks to me first and then I tell him this? But as far as I know, he might be expecting me to talk to him first since he does have some ego issues!

    I’m scared sending the NC message now makes me sound like a fool. Lol. I know you ain’t God or a fortune-teller, but I’m sure your experience can help me.

    Thank you so much

  59. S. Williams says:

    Monserah wrote:

    I’m scared sending the NC message now makes me sound like a fool. Lol.

    Hi,

    I have heard this line many times before, and my answer is…what is more important, your pride, or your happiness?

    The NC message is the most important part of the plan, just send it, and start your personal evolution.

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

    Monserah wrote:

    Sorry, I’m bombarding you with questions (it’s maybe my anxious nature).

    No problem, I want people to ask ALL their questions about NC on my Blog, before they join our forum.

    I DO NOT want people joining our forum who are not ready to follow the free plan.

    Get control of your doubts and fears before you join our forum…why?

    Spreading them in there will only confuse other members, and that will not help anyone, understand?

  60. Monserah says:

    @ S. Williams:

    Thanks for your understanding and cooperation S.W. I’ll send the NC tonight and then join the forum (I already subscribed to your free newsletter).

    I’m sure the NC message will get me sorted out because right now I’m just in a “relationship limbo” and it sucks because it’s leading to nowhere – it’s only confusing me and getting both of us messed up maybe. He might be worried to initiate a conversation since he’s scared I’m mad at him. So yes, NC message is a must.

    I also read the best is to send a letter but considering that it’s a LDR, the letter alone might take weeks to get to him. lol. I’ve no choice other than to send an email and maybe even an sms.

    Anyway, I’ll join the forum once I’m done sending the message.

    Thanks

  61. S. Williams says:

    Monserah wrote:

    I also read the best is to send a letter but considering that it’s a LDR, the letter alone might take weeks to get to him. lol. I’ve no choice other than to send an email and maybe even an sms.

    Hi,

    Email works great, a hand written letter is suggested in the book MOMU, but it really doesn’t matter, just get the message to him, that is the most important thing.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  62. Monserah says:

    @ S. Williams:

    Hi again,

    I just have a random query about the whole situation – what if my ex (who seems that he needs a break right now) is just sulking and acting like this due to the past fight we had where I said a couple of hurtful things? What I mean is that he might be just sulking and ignoring me, and yet doesn’t want to break up. It seems like he wants to see me begging, giving him a lot of importance and proving how much I love him – Does a NC message/rule still works in this case? I’m worried I’m scaring him away as he might think I don’t love him enough since I ain’t making any efforts to get him back.

    Any advice on that?

    Btw, I figured out sending the NC message would be more appropriate tonight since I had some very professional commitments yesterday.

    Thanks.

  63. S. Williams says:

    Monserah wrote:

    It seems like he wants to see me begging, giving him a lot of importance and proving how much I love him – Does a NC message/rule still works in this case? I’m worried I’m scaring him away as he might think I don’t love him enough since I ain’t making any efforts to get him back.

    Any advice on that?

    Hi,

    My advice is to stop over analyzing the free plan, and start following it.

    Everyone worries about the same things, and they worry for nothing, if your ex truly loves you NC will work.

    If they do not truly love you, nothing will bring them back, make sense?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  64. HMO says:

    After wallowing in my misery till 4:30 am yesterday, i decided to give the book a chance. i wish i hadnt listened to my friends and family by being too proud with him, he’s more proud than i am, i think thats where we went wrong. i broke up with him twice text msgs and he fought for me, when i ignored him for a week, he texted me that the vibe is gone and he wants me to be happy. i agreed with him and we left on a good note. he hasnt contacted me yet, its been one week and four days. the book doesnt mention anything abt the NC msg. im going to wait 1 week and a half then contact him. i deleted him from my facebook, i dont think its a good idea to add him again. with any other guy, i wouldve said to hell with him. this guy, we’ve been together for six months and i do honestly believe he is sincere and honest abt his feelings towards me. i was giving him a hard time… i think that he left me to see if i care about getting him back which i showed no interest in although i am dying to get him back but too proud, too tempted to send him that i love him, but again my pride and past failed relationships tell me not to. everyone says he will not come back. when he says no, its a definite no and thats what i liked abt him the most. i dont want to lose him, i am going over the relationship in my head and convince myself that i was used, but i used him to be happy as well, was too happy in fact the same as im too misreable now. what would happen if i tell him i love him now and i want him back. what is the NC msg

  65. S. Williams says:

    HMO wrote:

    what is the NC msg

    Hi,

    You can learn everything you need to know by reading the free plan on my Blog.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  66. Serienna says:

    Hi S.W.

    I have been following your work for a bit now. Well since my break up about a couple of weeks ago. Long story short My boyfriend and I have had our issues mostly about him not really appreciating the things that i go above and beyond for him. Which I have learned now from your advice that is 50% my fault for doing so. But we have been together for almost 4 years and I thought that we were ion love we talked about getting married I even travelled to Australia with him to finish his degree. Since we have arrived home things have been bumpy maybe because we aren’t living together and we are back with our parents. I’m not sure. But We recently attended his sisters wedding and almost immediately after the wedding he started to withdraw, I immediately began to ask him what was wrong and said that he wasn’t sure if I am the one that he wanted to marry. Broke my heart. He asked for space and I sorta gave it to him I was pretty upset. He came over about 5 days later and that was it he said he loves and will always love me but doesn’t think he makes me happy and that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore we kissed and hugged and emotionally tortured each other for the day and he left. The following weekend I called him and we had a sleepover WRONG IDEA i know but it happened and I asked him if things have changed and he replied they haven’t and said he loves me but feels the same way. I know that I should let him go but he makes me happy and he is my best friend. I haven’t talked or msgd him since…I also deleted our relationship status of Face book.( which he a hasn’t and I know he has been online.) Now I’m just waiting it out trying to keep busy. But it kills me It seems like he has done a 180 in just a couple of weeks… I know this was lengthy but what are your thoughts?

    Heartbroken xo

    • S. Williams says:

      Serienna says:

      Now I’m just waiting it out trying to keep busy. But it kills me It seems like he has done a 180 in just a couple of weeks… I know this was lengthy but what are your thoughts?

      Hi,

      Instead of “following” my advice, you should have been applying it to your situation with your ex boyfriend.

      If you really want to get to the bottom of things, and find out your ex boyfriends true feelings for you, then use the free plan on my Blog.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  67. Melody says:

    Hi S.W..
    I feel so much pain in my chest.
    Here’s my story…..

    Me and my boyfriend had been together over 2 years. We both are now 20. But he’s more mature than me… We did things together all long and he loved me so much. He chased after me about 1 year to get my love. But something was wrong between us since last month. He is different and he said he’s depressed. I feel like he even was not happy when we met up. I feel so sad… When I asked him, he said nothing much and tell you later… That’s what he replied to me. But I feel so upset.. Because he made me feel like I am not a special to him anymore.. But I think I made a mistake. I should have cared to him and talked to him gently instead I annoyed to him to treat me like before…
    Then one night, He said he need some time to sort things out and asked me to be his bestfriend for a while… He said he wanted to be alone. So I asked him whether don’t love me anymore and then he replied, ” I think so..” He didn’t say any official Break-up words to me.. But I begged him to reconsider it and He said he will…
    But is it really over?? I do NO CONTACT Rule about one week… Is there any chance that he will come back?? Please Help me..

    • S. Williams says:

      Melody says:

      Then one night, He said he need some time to sort things out and asked me to be his bestfriend for a while… He said he wanted to be alone.

      Hi,

      Read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps, there is a no contact message especially for this kind of situation.

      IT is not fair for your ex boyfriend to keep you in limbo, and the free plan will set you free, and reveal his true feelings for you.

      I highly doubt all his feelings for you have changed, use the free plan, and get your life back.

      He will sort things out on his own, he needs to do it by himself, and to also know you won’t wait around forever.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  68. Misty says:

    Hi S.W.

    It has been 1 month since me and my ex broke up.
    I have never applying NC method what so ever, but since the break up, I tried to not contacting him.
    He called me around 1 week ago just to ask how I’ve been doing and he wish me better life.

    What was that means?
    Do I still need to send NC message in this case?

    Regards,
    Misty

    • S. Williams says:

      Misty says:

      He called me around 1 week ago just to ask how I’ve been doing and he wish me better life.

      What was that means?
      Do I still need to send NC message in this case?

      Hi,

      This is the perfect time to send the recommended no contact message as outlined in the free plan.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps, OK?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • Sally says:

        Hey, I thought I was during the NC plan, but apparently I’m not since I never sent the NC message!
        It’s been almost 5 weeks since my ex broke up with me. We dated for 6 months, half of this time I went home to the US. We’re together the whole summer writing to each other and chatting. I was really disappointed though because he didn’t write as often as he promised. Then I saw a picture of him with another girl and for the first time we had a huge fight and he apologized, but we decided to talk it over once I was back in Germany. I got there I told him I was sad and disappointed because he is selfish sometimes and I deserve better. I told him as I was not asking for anything he didn’t offered himself and made it clear that I didn’t want to be with someone that wasn’t the least attentive towards me. He said he loved me, he wanted to be with me, that he could do better and he wanted to make things right. He tried for 5 days, it is was great, he is not perfect, but I liked that he tried and I was happy… until we went out clubbing and he did something that might not have been his intention but I flipped out (totally not the way I am, I’m usually pretty calm, I just have this whole luggage of anxiety and disappointment that was built over the summer) and told him to fuck off. Anyways, he left me there at 4 in the morning outside the club and I don’t even speak German!
        He came to see me two days later to tell me he need a few days to sort his feelings out. He said he felt untrusted, unworthy, and anxious for the past month since I confronted him about the picture. I told him to take his time, but I wanted him all in, otherwise there was no point. He came back a week later to tell me that he was not ready to commit and this didn’t feel right anymore and that we should break up. And I was like what?! I mean, I waited the WHOLE summer to be with him! I told him I understood he was feeling anxious and insecure, but it was normal after a rough summer. I said maybe we should take it slow. But he said no, he said I want to be single and I feel this is the right choice. So I said fine, I just hope you change your mind. So he left and haven’t heard from him since. I went to pick up my stuff a week ago, he packed them and left them there for me to pick up. I didn’t see him, he was working. But his brother is my friend and we study together and he was there and then we went for coffee. His brother hasn’t asked my why we broke up, and I was not going to volunteer info. I guess he wants to know because he always talks to me about his ex, especially that day he was telling me how much he loved her and blablabla I didn’t feel like sharing because though his a very good friend and I met my ex through him, he is still the brother. I don’t talk about it at all and limit myself to tell him how much fun we had over the weekend or other jokes (I’m pretty fun and spontaneous person, so I always have funny stories to tell). In essence I play it cool. I think his brother even thinks I’m seeing someone else since one of my friends insinuated it like a week ago. Anyways, besides that, no contact whatsoever, I’m doing ok, I miss him a lot, but I’m not gonna go after him cuz I know I deserve better, he dumped after telling me he loved me and convincing me to be with him during the summer. I was hoping he would realize he loves me and misses me with the NC plan, but apparently I’m not doing it!!! Should I send the NC message? What’s the point if he hasn’t contact me yet? I mean, we’re obviously not talking and sending him a msg saying we shouldn’t talk would sound out of place. I mean, I’m already going out and moving on… He would be like wtf, aren’t we just doing that?
        Anyways, should I just wait for him to contact me first?
        Thanks!

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          It is NEVER too late to send the recommended no contact as outlined in the free plan, why?

          Because this isn’t about getting your ex boyfriend back, it is about getting your life back.

          Stop worrying/over thinking, and send the message.

          Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  69. carlos t says:

    Hi,

    just wondering, ive been doing nc for 1 month now i see ex on train every day but we dont speak at all.About 30 days ago i started nc and like a jerk i broke it called and made things worse then during emailing back n forth she stated to not call, text , or email her, and after that i said some very hurtful things in a email ,i thought about what i had done a few days later and sent an apology email letting her know how sorry i was and that i would not contact her any longer in any form,well its been 30 days since and yes i do feel alot better now and just wondered if i should finally give her face to face apology considering i reall dont know if she got last apology email, or should i continue nc, even though i dont mind now being her friend again

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If you really want the best chance to get her back as your girlfriend use the free plan.

      Please don’t bullshit me, or yourself, saying you are alright with just being friends with her, OK?

      If that was all you were after you wouldn’t be posting on a Blog about how to get your ex back…right? ;)

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      You need to properly evolve past the old “failed” relationship before you can start a new one with anyone else.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  70. Some girl says:

    Hi,
    I would really like to understand how men cope with relationship issues. I had the man which I love, was perfect, but he simply did not manage to deal with my “character” as he said i.e. situations when he does something that I do not like and instead of telling him straight away, I was getting upset and a bit nervous as when he would notice me nervous he was doing the opposite-trying to fix me. This was leading to my inner anger to grow and I would explode to say something I do not mean! In such moment he would get very upset and twice said :I do not know how to escape from this relationship”. He stayed. He loves me. Until last time when it happened again and I accepted it. It turned to be that he is afraid of loving me, and me afraid of opening for love, because it was to intensive, too fast, I liked it a lot, but I needed time. We did not realize this on time, we were dealing with symptoms and that lead us to opposite direction where was worse. Surprisingly, when we do not have such “moment” things could be great again. But he seems confused, he said that, that is my character, we do not match bla bla… At the end I stopped talking to him. How to explain to him that I am just a woman, and when I get angry or frustrated all I need is just a hug and magic words: poor you, it will pass, I am with you?

  71. Amber says:

    Hey im 17 and my ex boyfriend is 18. Me and my boyfriend have been going out with each other for 2 months, and because he wasn’t treating me right I decided to be friends with him, so I asked him lets just be friends because you are not treating me right then he said okay then I said don’t you love me then he said yes I do, lets just take a break and I agreed to it. But after couple of days when he was on facebook I saw him commenting on other girls pictures and flirting with them and I got really angry I went and told his girl mate about this and also said his life story to her, then he texted me saying why am I telling everyone his life story, i didn’t know you can go round my back telling my life story to other people. Then I had to keep texting him and tell him how sorry i am. And then after couple of weeks he stopped saying i love you to me. And we linked once but after a long time and he still wanted a break and i misunderstood him, because i saw a status of him and some girl. but he said he didn’t love her apparently she came on to him. And last week i told him once again, do you love me? because i need to know and then he said he doesn’t know. And then I said i need to know though then he said why do you want to know. Then i said because i am in a situation where i don’t know if you love me or not. Then he said OK I’ll let you know next week and then this week Wednesday i gave him a long text about what i miss about me and him and the days we spent together and how much i love him and that the next day he gives me a text message saying “I THINK WE SHOULD BE MATES AND THATS BETTER. I AM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING, HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE ME. IF WE ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER THEN FATE WILL BRING US BACK ONE DAY”.

    Can you please help me because I don’t know what he meant by “if we are made for each other then fate will bring us back one day”. And does this mean that we will not be dating each other anymore?

    please help me because i really don’t know what to do and I was thinking not to contact him but i am scared what if he moves on and i dont want that because i really love him and want him back

  72. Amber says:

    Hey i dont want to order the book but can you just give me tips on how to get my ex back

  73. Daniel says:

    Hey Sean

    I’m assuming this method works with gay relationships too…

    My boyfriend broke up with me on 5 November. We had been in an intense LDR for about 3.5 months (although we saw each other every week, and according to him this was more than some couples living in the same city). Everything was going great until I asked him about his feelings for me. He said he was happy and enjoyed getting to know me but didnt want to feel the pressure that I was looking for a lifelong partner.

    4 days later we were together again and he tells me he wanted to stop the relationship because after thinking about it, he realised his feelings for me weren’t strong enough to justify being in such a set up (but 2 weeks before that he was ok with it and even telling me that eventually we would live together….).

    It was a very mature, non-violent breakup, but I obviously had the natural reaction of trying to convince him to change his mind over the next 3 days via a daily e-mail or txt message. Finally, 3 days later I called him and asked if he felt the same way, he said yes and there was no way to change his mind. I got angry and sent him a strong e-mail which I later apologised for (all this happened on the 3rd day of breaking up).

    My apology was something like:

    I’m sorry for my reaction yesterday, but I thought your decision was very unexpected. I was beginning to care a lot about you, but I respect your decision and you must do what you feel is right. I hope that one day if youre still searching for what we couldve had, and if im still looking, that we can give this another shot and learn from our mistakes. Until then, stay well.

    He replied (on the 4th day after breaking up) saying he understood why i got angry, but felt very sad for the entire day. But he thanked me for the apology and said that we should not communicate for a little while to heal all the wounds. And wished me all the best.

    So……basically he gave ME the NC message. I havent replied…I did speak to his friends after that but nothing to him since the 4th day after breaking up. It has now been 10 days since the breakup, 6 days since we last spoke directly with me following his instructions of NC.

    What do you suggest I do? Do i still send my own NC message?

    i really believe we should give this relationship another shot. Things were definitely intense and we rushed, but I’ve identified the mistakes and am 200% willing to give it another try. I just need him to realise this too…

    Thanks!!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      This plan (the free plan) is about getting your life back, and
      evolving past the break up…it is NOT about getting your ex
      back.

      This will work for anyone who can stick to the plan.

      If this is something you’re interested in, go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  74. Daniel says:

    oh…just as an extra…. I will be in his city again on 17Dec. So in about 5 weeks and I plan on going thereafter once a month as I do want to move there next year and am getting to know the city in my spare time. so…there is an opportunity to reconnect in 5 weeks, and once a month after that….

  75. robin says:

    I just broke up with a boyfriend of 3 years. We always had a rocky relationship because we are both very emotionally charged people, on the up side it made for a lot of passion. He says he hasn’t been happy for a while and I’m not gonna lie I was lazy the past few months. I did the calling, begging and nonsense. I guess I let myself get the best of me. He says were two different people because I stopped going to bars with him. That’s what he likes to do. I like bars too I always thought I was doing him a favor by letting him go with his buddies, but it back fired. He got used to me not being around.

    It was a downward spiral. You probably hear this a lot but I really do love this guy. Iv’e stuck with him through some really hard times. And for a while I was the one who wanted to break up. But the times we were on break I relized that he is the one I want. Now Iv’e let him go and I can’t blame him because of my actions.

    Is there really something I can do? He told me he fell outta love with me, wants other options, and doesn’t see a future with me because we are different people. You can tell me if it’s not good haha I respect honesty. He’s been like this in the past, but not this bad. He’s been going out a lot probably to forget me. It’s silly to beat a dead horse but he ignites passion in me. We always had a great sex life, and when it came down to it we always had each other’s back. It has to count for something right? It’s just we always find each other again this time it feels different….

    Thank you

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      The free plan is NOT about getting your ex boyfriend back, it is about getting your life back.

      If you can’t move past the breakup you won’t be able to start a new relationship with anyone else, including your ex, understand?

      If you do understand, go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      The free plan will help reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings for you, as well.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  76. Sandra81 says:

    Dear S.W.,
    I have just finished the no-contact period. But, in my situation, things are a bit tricky. My ex and I are part of the same youth organization, so, whether we like it or not, we get to see each other on a regular basis. Although we are still “friends”, and we act absolutely normally when we see each other, we had no “one to one” contact at all outside our meetings. No calling, no e-mail, no chat! Till last week, when we went to a mutual friend’s party, and he brought along a female friend. This friend was trying to be his “advocate”, always hinting at what a nice couple we make, and how good we looked together. Not to mention the links he posts on Facebook, showing the world how lonely and unhappy he feels! Cheesy, but funny! :-D The following day, I had something to tell him, and I had to e-mail him. He sent a very affectionate reply straight away.
    Now I’m thinking about asking him for a coffee and a chat in town, just to talk things through, without scaring him away. Should I?
    Background info: it wasn’t a proper relationship, but more of a summer fling (which didn’t go very far, since I’m more of the cautious type). At a certain point, he started blowing hot & cold, and I pulled away, saying that I didn’t like unclear situations and game-playing, and that I deserved better. And I think I must have hurt his pride… :-) Now I still have strong feelings for him, although I realise how immature he can be!
    What would you advise me?

    Thanks! ;-)

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      NC has no period, 30 days is just a benchmark which is almost always too short.

      This is why I advise people to follow the free plan, and focus on getting their lives back, and not about how to get their ex’s back.

      If you go chasing him now, I can almost guarantee you will end up right back where you left off.

      You want someone who knows what they want, and if he hasn’t made any kind of move to ask you out, he still doesn’t know what he wants.

      I always love how women think they know what a man wants, and how to help him get it.

      Listen, if a man wants something bad enough, he goes after it…maybe he doesn’t want you as badly as “you think” he does?

      What are you going to do…go buy some ball bearings at the hardware store and give them to him so he has some balls?

      life doesn’t work that way, he has to find his own pair.

      I highly suggest you stop playing this little game, and truly focus on moving on, and see what he does.

      All the feelings in the world can not make someone have the same feelings for you, welcome to reality.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      P.S. If you’re really serious about trying to reconnect, it is all laid out in the free plan.

      • Sandra81 says:

        :-)))) The thing about the balls was sooo funny! Now that Christmas is coming, you gave me a good idea for a present! :-P
        I did my part with “focusing on moving on”. Last month I went on a short trip to Prague, where I met another guy, whom I actually like, and with whom I’ve been in non-stop contact since. Many of our mutual friends know about this guy, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they told HIM as well. The result? I felt he was starting to “warm up” to me again. But, I think he has to make a more determined move too. Or at least have the BALLS to give me an explanation or a straight answer: yes or no – and this is not a subjective matter (like someone’s feelings), but a matter of respect and being an adult! ;-) BTW, I’m a couple of years older than him. You can’t pursue someone (yes, it was him who pursued me in the first place), show tons of interest, then leave him / her in the dark for no apparent reason! At least I’d like to know what happened… if he has the BALLS to admit! :-D
        I think I will try your plan out!

        Take care,
        Sandra

  77. Rae says:

    Hi,

    First I’d like to thank you for making the effort to help the broken hears heal and to win our ex back. You probably get a lot questions daily. I will try to keep this short.

    My ex-boyfriend and I dated for about 8 months. We broke two weeks ago. The trigger was I found his chat log with his friend saying negative things about our relationship. When I confronted him, he said it’s totally untrue. He was trying to save his face because after our last argument he was angry so talked too big in front of his friend about breaking up with me and stuff. The next day he felt stupid telling his friend that he didn’t actually break up with me. I was very angry so I broke up with him that night because I didn’t know what to believe.

    Two days later, I was less angry. I thought maybe I should give us another chance or at least find out what is true. So I called him. Before I said anything, he told me that he’s sent me an email. The email was about how sorry he is and he knows that ha has lost the best girl for him. He wants me to be happy and thinks I deserve someone better. The next day he sent me two more emails telling me that he has doubt in himself. His not sure if he can live the family life. He also mentioned about his depression issue lately due to the lose of his mom.

    I was shocked because at the beginning of this relationship, he clearly told me that I am the first girl who ever made him consider marriage. Just a few months later, now he has a commitment issue. I didn’t reply or contact him for a week. I removed him from facebook and stopped going on skype and msn (we used to talk online everyday). During this week, he said to my friend that he wonders if we can ever be friends again. He told the friend that I have systematically deleted him from my entire existence. He called me tough-minded.

    A week later, I sent him an email saying that I agree with what he said and I feel sad that it ended this way. I told him that unfriended him on facebook not because of hate, but to give us space to think what we really want. He replied almost immediately saying that he has started talking to someone about his depression issue and I am the topic of the conversations a lot. He hopes that he can share them with me some day. At the end he said, he’s very very glad to hear from me.

    We have contacted each other in any form since this email. It’s been a little over a week. I know deep down, I still have feelings for him and hope that he could contact me. But as time goes by, this hope just get smaller and smaller. I’m thinking of following the NC for a month (3 weeks left). If he still haven’t contacted me by then, I will move on? Do you think if this is a good plan?

    Sorry that I still made this a novel. I don’t expect a reply from you but if I do get one, it will definitely brighten my day. Thanks for reading.

    • S. Williams says:

      Rae says:

      I’m thinking of following the NC for a month (3 weeks left). If he still haven’t contacted me by then, I will move on? Do you think if this is a good plan?

      Hi,

      First of all I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s…why?

      Because you have to evolve past the break up, clear your head, and regain your life from “the panic zone” before making any important decisions.

      Don’t kid yourself into believing you have to “rush” before you lose him, you already lost him, the questions is, do you “really” want him back.

      Was what you had really that good, or just an illusion?

      The saying “Love is Blind” should be “Love Makes You Blind”, when you let your emotions make your decisions, they are usually the wrong one’s depending upon the emotion you are feeling when you make them.

      The sad fact is that everyone going through a breakup makes their decisions under the feeling of desperation, this is NOT a good feeling to make decisions under…make sense?

      When you properly use NC, you take away the desperation, and gain back your life (control) again, and then once you can see with clear eyes and think with a clear mind, then you make your decision (about getting your ex back)…not a second sooner, or you will regret it.

      I truly believe we create our own destinies, and that fate only happens to those you do not take the time to create their destinies.

      They leave it up to fate…bad choice.

      The first thing you need to do, is go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – You will get your life back (much faster), and you can learn how to create any destiny you want, by learning this secret:

      Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice

      You don’t have to settle for fate, you can create your own destiny.

      You can create the kind of destiny you want and deserve, if you learn how to attract it.

      “Destiny is not a matter of chance, but of choice. Not something to wish for, but to attain.” ~ William Jennings Bryan ~

      • Rae says:

        Hi Williams,

        I can’t thank you enough for your reply. I printed it out and am going to carry it with me. I think it will help me resiste the urge during the moments when I’m tempted to contact him.

        I just registered at your forum and am waiting for approval. I understad that sending the NC message is a must step in order to follow the free plan. However, (if you remember) in my last post I mentioned that a week ago I already sent him an email having the similar meaning as the NC message. Should I send him another NC message? Or should I leave it the way it is and just continue with the free plan?

        Thanks

        • S. Williams says:

          Rae says:

          I understad that sending the NC message is a must step in order to follow the free plan. However, (if you remember) in my last post I mentioned that a week ago I already sent him an email having the similar meaning as the NC message. Should I send him another NC message? Or should I leave it the way it is and just continue with the free plan?

          Hi,

          Sending the recommended NC message as outlined in the free plan is the most important step, you can’t skip it.

          Plus, you can’t become a member of our support forum unless you follow the plan like all the other members did.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  78. Rae says:

    Hi S.W.,

    I religiously followed the NC rule for 22 days straight. He emailed me on the 22th day and asked me to talk. I met him the two days later at a coffee shop. I followed all the reconciliation rules (picking a neutral place, keeping it under 1 hour, be cheerful and smile a lot). He told me he wants to fix things. I calmly listened to what he wanted to say but didn’t express my thoughts about the breakup or getting back together as I wasn’t ready for that. It was a friendly and pleasant meeting up. The next day he emailed me saying that he wants to fix things but he doesn’t know how. We broke up because our vision of future differs too much. I expect marriage but he doesn’t know what he wants. I emailed him back asking him what his vision of future is (thought after 22 days, he’d figure that our). He replied 2 days later saying that “I`ve been trying to answer this question for 2 days. I can`t believe I`m having such trouble with it.”

    I think I should probably just walk away from this man and let him figure it out on his own. I should go on with my own life. But I still don’t want to ruin the chance of getting back with him in the future. What should I reply to him? I’d love to heard your advice.

    Thank you very much!

    • S. Williams says:

      Rae says:

      I think I should probably just walk away from this man and let him figure it out on his own. I should go on with my own life. But I still don’t want to ruin the chance of getting back with him in the future. What should I reply to him?

      Hi,

      It sounds like you broke NC way too soon.

      You need to go read the free plan, and start NC over.

      That means following ALL the steps in the free plan, including sending the recommended NC message as outlined in the plan (without any changes).

      I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s.

      If you don’t get your life back first, you will never be ready for a new relationship, with or without your ex.

      You are holding yourself back.

      Thanks for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  79. Krys says:

    Hi, My fiance recently broke my heart and left me because he was not ready to be married. I understand this feeling of his however I want to be with him and I do not want to wait for him to come aroung while he “sews his wild oats” I did have a difficult time with our break up because I had to move out and back in with my family, and I lost my “family” (him) My grandmother was also diagnoised with cancer two weeks after we broke up and I had very little support outside the family so I leaned on him, which he was not happy with. I am still having a difficult time leaving him alone because I have recently found out so much about myself and I want to share it with my best friend. Please help, I know he is the man I want to grow old with even though we may not be ready to be married, I can’t wait for him to realize that he is ready to have me.

  80. Jess says:

    Hi,

    My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago, we were dating for almost a year. Through the year we were always fighting, mainly because I start drama and fights about little things. Both him and I knew I had a problem so I went and seek help from a professional. We almost broken up a couple of times, but we both would agree on giving more time for me to stop being so dramatic. Well last week, he broke up with me saying he doesn’t want this anymore, and that we are not meant to be after a fight we had. I couldn’t help myself contacting him every second day last week even though we agreed on not talking for a while. He was being very nice and considerate every time we talked, until the last talk we had he was being cold and said he doesn’t have any feelings for me and he said we both should move on. He said there’s possibilities in the future we can still be together, but he’s not saying yes and he said we are letting fate decide that. He recently got contracted to a city far away for four months, he said he will visit home and will call me to have coffee. He said we can be friends in the future, but not right now because we both need to move on. Have I broke the no contact rule because I called after we broke up in the first week? From what I said, do you think I lost my man forever?

    • S. Williams says:

      Jess says:

      Have I broke the no contact rule because I called after we broke up in the first week? From what I said, do you think I lost my man forever?

      Hi,

      Forever?

      What are you 12 years old?

      First of all…you can not break the no contact rule if you never correctly started using it in the first place, make sense?

      And I highly doubt you have been following the free plan…it’s just a hunch.

      Relationships end, that’s a fact of life, and if you ever want another “fulfilling” relationship with anyone else (including your ex boyfriend), you MUST let go of all the old failed relationships in your life first.

      I help people get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – Only fools leave their lives up to fate, we create our own lives with our thoughts and feelings. We started a topic about The Law of Attraction and Relationships in our forum.

  81. smiles1260 says:

    Hi!

    NC email sent word for word!

    I must add that it was ME that broke up with my boyfriend. Well, it wasn’t quite a breakup..kind of a feeling of being in a limbo relationship (like you stated as an example). He basically doesn’t know if i’m the one for him. He’s in limbo with his job and the stress is making it impossible to see a future with me. I’ve tried being understanding but as you have stated I need to take care of myself. This is really hard because I love him so much and he loves me I know. We have gotten so close over the last year we have been dating. Our relationship was more than just sex…which by the way, he has repeatedly stated that he finds it hard to be intimate with someone he’s in love with and that someone is me. He gets to this point of a serious relationship and shuts that part off.

    All that said, I couldn’t take the physical rejection…not just sexually but just being intimate. Maybe I need to grow up myself and act like an adult and work through this with him, but like he said there’s no guarantee I will still be who he wants to be with as a life partner. He wants to go to therapy and I think that’ great but again he says there is no guarantee we will be together. I couldn’t sit around and wait so I took the first step and ended it today. I applied the NC rule through email just now.

    I’m really scared because I already knew I could choose not to talk to him without the NC rule but something in me said I needed to prove it to myself and send the email. SO I did! I’ll update you on my progression.

    thank you for this site…:)

      • smiles1260 says:

        Oh just got an email response please any advice would be helpful:

        Hey…

        I will respect that, as it’s probably best for me as well, at least for a little bit. I think you have my PO Box key and I need to drop off your parking pass. I can come by when you’re not there. I also want to get my part of the mail stuff when it comes…

        I know, what stupid stuff for me to bring up in this email but I don’t know what else to say without sounding dumb or dramatic.

        peace,

        Subject: You were right.

        I agree with your decision to take a break, I really believe it is the best thing for both of us right now. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          Since you are using the NO CONTACT rule, my advice would be not to reply with anything more than a date/time to come pickup his stuff and drop yours off.

          Take him up on his suggestion to come when you are NOT there.

          You said what needed to be said, now start your personal evolution by following the free plan to get your ex back.

          I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  82. smiles1260 says:

    and no…I will not contact him..:)

    Thanks!

  83. Fantasia says:

    Hi! My name is Fantasia. First off, I have been putting a lot of research into the No Contact Rule and I really don’t know if it works in my case. See, the person that I am trying to get back is not exactly an ex, but we have been dating since May 5th. We stopped dating just a few weeks ago. Anyways, I developed deep feelings for the guy, but I really feel like I turned him off on our last date. To make a long story short, he didn’t compliment me like he usually does and he definitely stopped flirting with me. It made me feel horrible and I just started acting distant towards him. On the ride back to my house, he was in the car saying that he has no idea why I suddenly started acting the way I did and quite honestly I felt so lame acting like that. I think that is what turned him off and now he doesn’t even text/call/facebook/comment/etc me anymore. How can the No Contact Rule help me with this situation? And how does this rule tie into facebook? He is my facebook friend. Should I delete him or just leave my profile up and not contact him? And FYI, I really want him in my life, but I don’t want to jeopardize anything with me contacting him or something. Oh! And I haven’t spoken with him since last Tuesday. Thanks!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It sounds like you had a bad date, and you “both” helped it escalate into a big problem.

      There is an effective way to find out his “true” feelings for you using the no contact rule.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get your man back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      As far as FaceBook goes, it would be best to stay off it all together while you are personally evolving past this break up.

      FaceBook is a disease (an actual topic started by a forum member).

      If you worry that following the necessary steps to use the no contact rule correctly will ruin your chances for reconciliation, they will…why?

      What you think and feel creates your life, and that is why it is important to focus on getting your life back at this time, and not on the break up or your chances of getting back together.

      You have to approach this one step at a time…no skipping steps, understand?

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  84. Wendy says:

    Hi,

    My ex and I were good friends/ housemates before we started dating. We got together because we found out that we had been liking each other since the beginning (almost a year) so we decided to give it a try. After a month of being dating/ in a relationship, i found out that he was still in contact with his ex-girlfriend very often on gchat and I got pissed off. He claimed that they were just very good friends but he compromised that he was going to cut the tie off. But the next day, he wanted to break up with me because of my insecurity and he didn’t want to keep making compromises. So i agreed with the breakup.

    But I still like him and I can’t accept we breakup because of that reason. It has been a week, and I had been using “no contact” or “limited contact” rule (because we are housemate) and it seemed work very well. He started coming back home early after work and wanted to talk to me a lot. He showed a lot of caring like what he used to do. And all I did was acting cold and trying to limit the contact with him.

    Bad thing is that we had sex last night after drinking a couple bottles of beer together. He invited me to drink and insisted in teaching me how to play poker. And I couldn’t resist. We had sex and I know we both still remember. We both acted very normal today but I could feel a bit coldness from him. I don’t know what to do now and I am afraid he is going to start hiding from me again.

    Please help! Should I go back to “no contact” rule again? I know having sex with ex was such a big mistake and it ruined my whole plan. I seriously need advices!

    Thanks,

    Wen

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It sounds like he wants a FWB kind of situation, and you played right into it by trying to reconnect way too soon (mistake) using sex (another big no-no).

      You can reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you by properly using the no contact rule.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get him back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  85. mlcjms1111 says:

    I am sorry for the long message but I have to get this off my chest and I also need to explain my story.
    Here goes: My ex boyfriend and I met on May 11 2011 and we fell in love immediately. Our connection is like no other! And I’m not just saying that, he said it as well. It was a mutually feeling. I was in a 7 year relationship and didn’t love that ex with a fraction of the force that I love my current ex boyfriend. I know with every single molecule in my DNA that he and I are twin souls. We were immediately connected to each other when we met. And it wasn’t only a sexual thing either. It was a very loving and emotional relationship. It felt like we’ve known each other forever, and we were only getting reacquainted when we met. We became inseparable and saw each other at least 5 times out of the week and texted every single day, all day. We both enjoyed each other’s company. He took me to Arizona to meet his dad and stepmom in June, and in July we went to Chico, CA to meet his best friend in the world, his sister and mother. We never fought! I mean, we’d have tiny disagreements but nothing serious. It was a very loving, happy, selfless and affectionate relationship. He’d bring me flowers every two weeks. He was a very thoughtful and loving boyfriend. The plan was for us to relocate together to Chico, once my lease was up at the end of October. (HIS IDEA).
    One of his closest friends passed away in late July and I stuck by his side the way a girlfriend is supposed to. In early August he broke up with me. I was upset one night because his ex girlfriend had called him a few times and she seemed a little persistent, and it annoyed me and made me feel insecure. (She was just concerned for him because of the passing of his friend, at the time I was to jealous to see it for what it was). So I text him and told him that if he still had feelings for her that I’d step aside. This had him baffled and upset because he assured me that he was in love with me. He came over after his shift was done at work and we started to talk, talking kind of turned in a little argument, and I take full responsibility for that. He mentioned how he wanted me to get on birth control and then he mentioned an incident that occurred when we went to visit Chico, CA. Basically, I was in the car with his best friend’s wife and other girls and we were all talking about pregnancy and our periods. It kind of slipped that my boyfriend and I have sex without taking precautions and that I have an irregular period and so I wasn’t on birth control and didn’t have a desire to get on birth control. (I have fertility issues, so I don’t see the point; I’m 30 BTW, if that makes any difference). Anyways, I didn’t think anything of it at that time, because we were all sharing and I just figured it was a conversation amongst girls and it would stay between us. Not that anything I said was a secret just that I didn’t think that it would be discussed again. So when my ex boyfriend mentioned it, it took by surprise and I got really upset and called it gossip. He left soon after and said that he needed a couple of days to think, a couple of days turned into a few days. He wouldn’t answer my calls and I went nuts… I even showed up at his place because I was worried for him. He ended up breaking up with me and saying that he felt things were moving too fast. He said that he needed to get healthy and he was moving to Chico without me. Anyways, of course I went crazy and did all of the things that both Jemima and TW say not to do. He quit his job and left to Chico on September 1 2011, but before he left we spend a couple of days together because my sister was in town for her 21st birthday. We had sex on September 1 2011, (we actually have had sex on 3 occasions after the breakup) and we never took any precautions (sorry TMI). We kept communication after he left but it was minimal. On September 15 2011 I asked him to called me and he did, and I told him that I was going to move to Chico, CA at the end of October because I was done living in Vegas and the original plan was always to move to Chico. BTW, I don’t work (because I can afford not to work) and don’t have any friends or family in Las Vegas, they are all back east. So I’m not leaving anything behind. I told him that I was going to get my own place and that at least I had him as a friend in Chico. I proceeded to ask him to help me move down there, he said that he was going to think about it. I gave him the weekend and he sent me the email below. After I read it I went even crazier and started crying, texting, repeatedly calling, left him a voice mail crying and lastly responded to his email. He has ignored me since he sent the email below and my last attempt in contacting him was September 19 2011, 12 days ago. I read the Jemima and TW eBook and decided to send him the “win him back” letter this morning. I am still moving to Chico, but I am going to stick to the NC rule and not contact him. I’m going to try at all cost to avoid bumping into him and I’m even making new friends online so I have a distraction. Am I breaking the NC by moving to Chico? I already rented my place and cannot back out of it and I really feel that if we’re near each other that the possibility of us getting back together is greater than if I stayed miserable in Las Vegas (I hate this place). Even though I am moving to Chico, I really plan to stick to the NC rule and avoid bumping into him. Anyways, below is his email to me. Let me know your thought! I really need advice.
    “I had to write this email to get this off my chest. I’m apologizing ahead of time for my brutal honesty, but like you already know, I don’t know how to be any other way except honest and forthcoming. You deserve my honest opinions completely uncensored.
    When you told me last week that you had decided to move to Chico, I stayed quiet because I didn’t want to say something based on my emotions I was feeling at that exact moment. I didn’t want to blurt out how I felt about it and end up saying something I would regret. Now that I’ve had the weekend to think about it and analyze the situation, I’m comfortable now in my feelings and my opinion on the matter.
    I do not want you moving to Chico. I think it’s a terrible idea. There is NOTHING for you here in Chico. You tell me that you’re moving here to be friends with me, but I don’t believe you. We weren’t friends before our relationship, and we haven’t been good friends since the breakup. I feel like you’re only making this decision to be closer to me to try and repair our relationship.
    It’s extremely painful for me to tell you this, but it needs to be said. I’m not in love with you anymore.
    I DO still love you and care about your well-being and your health. But I don’t at this moment see a future for us together. And how you came to the decision to move to Chico bewilders me. You had never even heard of Chico before you met me. There’s nothing here for you. You are moving to Chico without even talking to me about it and asking how I feel about it. I don’t want you here. I moved out of Vegas to get myself back to where I used to be. I need to heal myself, and having you here will not help me. If you move here, I feel like it will only be detrimental, and the person who will be hurt most will be you.
    If you move to Chico for us to be “friends”, it won’t happen. We will not be friends if you move to Chico. I will make sure of this. You can’t go from being with someone and being in love to “Just Friends.” If you want to move to California, I think you should by all means. But you belong in a big city with more opportunities. You’re 30 years old, you know how to be social and make friends. Stop using the excuse of not having friends as a crutch. You WILL meet new people. And if you want to move somewhere where you have friends, move to where one of your friends is. Move to Hawaii. You’d love it. Do not move to Chico. You will only be severely disappointed even more than you already are.
    I think we need to take some time apart from each other with NO communication. No texts, no phone calls, no emails, no visiting. I need to do my healing and grieving, and you need to focus on what it is you want to do. I need you to respect my wishes, because my mind is made up. I’m sorry that this email is probably hurting you, but it needed to be said. It’s not a normal decision to decide to move to another state to follow your ex when you don’t know ANYONE else there and there is no career field for you there. You’re making decisions based on your feelings; you’re not using your head. I can’t even believe you actually came to that decision and thought it was logical. And then you asked me to fly back to Vegas to help you pack your entire apartment up and drive your U-Haul from Vegas to Chico because it is “cost effective”. Are you serious? That is definitely not happening.
    I am strongly convinced you should definitely NOT move to Chico. If you want to grow and heal from this and possibly have a friendship later in the future, you need to NOT move to Chico.”

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Your ex boyfriend took getting “cold feet” to a whole new level.

      I think he has frostbite.

      If you use the no contact rule correctly you can reveal his true feelings for you.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  86. Gaby says:

    My ex and I were completely in love. He introduced me to his mother about 3 weeks after we became exclusive, he met my family as well. We went on 2 trips together. He alluded to marrying me. He spoke of the future, having children, he had me picking out his kitchen sink and closet doors for his apartment that we were going to live in. He would ask me to answer his cellphones, said he had nothing to hide from me. He was possibly going to move to another city because of work and asked me to come with him. I’m still kicking myself for not “holding out.” We had sex for the first time after 1 month of dating. I noticed he was becoming distant after 2 months. But then he “came back.” He was sweet again, caring, etc. We took a trip together, also in our 2nd month, we got back from the trip and for 3 days we didn’t see eachother, he would send me text each of those days saying he missed me and loved me. He said he was busy with work. Then one day I went out to the movies with a male friend, I casually mentioned it in coversation the day after over the phone and I suddenly didn’t hear him anymore, he went silent. Literally. I hung up and called him back thinking something was wrong with the phone and he never answered again until 3 days later when I called him from a payphone because I was sure he was ignoring me and I didn’t want him to know it was me. He was busy, I said, ok, we’ll talk later and I waited for him to call me. He didn’t so I ended up going over to his house one early sunday morning, woke him up, I was mad because he was completely ignoring me. I asked him what was going on, he said he had been busy with his workload since coming back from our trip the week before. I asked him why he had been ignoring me for 4 days and he said he didn’t want to fight or discuss things with text and said that he had not received my calls on his cell. But it turns out he had gone over to my house 2 days before after he got off work late one night. But he never knocked on my door or gave me call to come out or something. Said he regretted going over because it was so late. Anyway, he never admitted it but it was clear that he was not ok with me going out with my guy friend. I had always assumed that there was no problem because he NEVER mentioned anything until that day. So I was frustrated and left. I was feeling insecure and decided that I would break things off first and later that day I did something totally immature and impulsive. I wrote him this long email and broke up with him in that email. A few hours later I regretted it, I called him, but he had already read it. And he was angry and didn’t forgive me and didn’t take me back. Anyway,after this happened he wouldn’t take my calls, and would only answer sometimes when by chance we were both logged in to facebook.(FYI I was pretty sure that after all this arguing we did on fb that he would’ve blocked me but he hasn’t and I can’t bring myself to do it either) I ended up going over to his house one more time about 3 weeks later to try to fix things. We fought again and he tore this letter that I had written to him and said he didn’t want to see me anymore. The break up dragged on for a little over a month, I did the whole awful, needy, desperate thing, and said some very hurtful things to him. I miss him so much. I think we had something good and I just horribly overreacted to his distance. And everything just escalated from there. I dont’ understand what happened, we were so happy. I’m still hoping that he’ll come back to me. It’s barely been a few days with no contact. What’s your insight on this?? Thanks. P.S. Some background info: he’s 40 and I’m 37, he’s 2 years divorced, went through the death of his brother and sister a couple of years ago and that of his father 10 yrs ago.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      People can fall into (and out of) love very quickly sometimes, and this seems to be the case with your ex.

      We are all born with a “gut instinct” that we must be loyal to, because when we start to second-guess ourselves, we are truly lost.

      You want to second-guess your decision to breakup because it is causing you pain, but just think of all the pain you have prevented yourself from experiencing in the future.

      Take the word of someone who has spent the last 18 years trying to salvage his life after having a son with an incompatible woman…it wasn’t (and still isn’t at times) very easy.

      You don’t have any children to worry about, and you have plenty of time to find the right man.

      No one can go from texting you everyday, to just ignoring you, if their feelings haven’t changed…but he is too scared to admit it, so he just keeps driving you crazy with his passive-aggressive behavior.

      I am 53, and I have experienced the death of my mother, father, oldest brother, and sister, and I am not out there in the world treating people like shit, so you can stop trying to make excuses for his bad behavior.

      Your inner gut feeling told you the truth, and you (wisely) acted upon your beliefs, and saved yourself from making a big mistake (even bigger) by staying with this man.

      Learn to trust your instincts, and learn to let go of the things that will only cause you pain and regret, and move on.

      You don’t really want him back as much as you want to stop feeling regretful, and alone. The sooner you start NC (the right way) the sooner you will stop feeling this way, but it will take time.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Make a commitment to yourself to stay in no contact for at least 12 months, and do not focus on getting your ex back – let your ex go.

      Your main focus is to break your dependency on your old relationship (and your ex) for happiness, and reestablish your life as a Happy Healthy single person.

      This is much more important than getting your ex back, and in 12 months you will realize what I’m saying is true.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

      • Gaby says:

        12 months?? A year to heal, it’ll be like i’m still in a relationship with him, minus the boyfriend. LOL I had hoped to have a family by this time in my life, after so many heartaches, I was SO sure it was going to be with him, finally the right guy had come along. He was everything I had looked for in a man. Thanks for you response.

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          If he were ‘the right man” you wouldn’t be here, would you?

          Players have a knack for figuring out what a woman is looking for in a man, and then pretending to be all those things, until they get bored, and move on.

          Or, he just fell out of love with you, it happens, only he knows for sure.

          Maybe it’s time to start looking for “different” things in a man.

          It is much better to wait to start a family, then it is to start one with the wrong person…take it from me.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

Leave a Response


− 5 = two