Getting My Ex Back or Getting My Life Back – Which Should Come First?

Would you give up your life (happiness, freedom) to get your ex back, or give up your ex to get your life back? I know most people think getting my ex back will get my life back as well, after all my ex is my life, almost. But, I found out time and time again with forum members, that after going through their personal evolution and breaking the addiction to their ex, they decide to move on. Maybe the break up happened for a reason, right? But, until you have the “guts” to follow a good plan using no contact, you might never find out, and stay trapped in relationship limbo for a long, long, time.

Get My Ex Back or Get My Life Back, Which Should Happen First? Use My Free Plan to Find Out

I say that you must get your life back first (using my free plan), and then decide if you want your ex back, and if so, use the last part of the plan to reconnect with them, make sense? The problem is everyone thinks it is the other way around, get my ex back and that will make my life good again, or will it? They want to rush through NC hoping to keep their ex from moving on without them, but maybe that would be the best thing for both of you…who knows, right? What do you think?

Let me know your biggest fear using no contact in a plan to get your ex back. What do you think should happen first…get your life back, or get your ex back? For people already going through my free plan, what advice would you give people reading this article, and pondering whether or not to use my plan?

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Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008 to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free plan to get your ex back fast, and start getting your life back today. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.

Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.

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Until next time,

S. Williams

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10 Comments

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  1. hi, im 18 and i have been seeing someone 8yrs older then me since start of aug, b4 we got together he dated this older women for 5-6mths and they split…he said he dumped her as she was clingy but i over heard him tell someone he cheated on her with his ex who hes got a 2yr old with. i had doubt with dating him but thougt he would change, his ex the one with his baby never knew about us until recently as he didnt want any1 to tell her incase she tried splitting us up or so he says!!! she got angry that i had been secretly meeting the child and even slept in same room as him and the dad on a holiday, she told me 2 times he slept with her as he mae out he was single and the dates she said he wasnt with me as he was babysitting for her… deep down i know shes telling truth but i dont want to lose him. hes cheated on me and previous gf with the babys mother and he says he doesnt have feelings for her but why do it??? should i tell him to stop being involved with the kids mom? i no ive been with my man for only 12 weeks but i know we will be together longer then he was with the kids mum and lst as i no he loves me like i do him

    1. Hi,

      If I were you I would run, not walk, in the opposite direction of this guy.

      This guy doesn’t love anyone but himself, and easy pussy.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  2. Hi, Scott —

    I’m following your plan and a member on your forum. Thank you so much for creating a free place for us to learn how to grow and get on with our lives without our ex.

    First, let me say it’s almost been 60 days of NC for me. I am not ready to (and may not) reach out to my ex. Actually, I’m trying not to hide from him by avoiding his neighborhood and hang-outs. Plus, I’m enjoying the freedom and silence of being single (dating) and not having to deal with that old relationship.

    Here’s what I’ve noticed folks have been asking (I’m wondering too): If you get to the emotional control place where you are considering reconnecting, how do you know when/if you’re ready?

    Is it where you no longer have a “warmth” inside for the person or when you realize you will be OK either way? Is that a physical feeling? Or, is it when you really don’t love them anymore and are just curious about how they are?

    Thanks and keep up the good work.

    Turtle

    1. Turtle says:

      Here’s what I’ve noticed folks have been asking (I’m wondering too): If you get to the emotional control place where you are considering reconnecting, how do you know when/if you’re ready?

      Hi,

      You know what I noticed?

      The same people who are asking those questions, are the same people that are getting stuck in their personal evolution.

      The whole purpose of the free plan and no contact is to get your life back, not your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

      Go read the forum success stories and see if any of those successful people even mention anything like this, they don’t, and you know why?

      It doesn’t matter.

      They just focused on getting their lives back, and it happened.

      The key is to keep moving forward, dating, evolving, living your life, and gradually these thoughts fade away, and the future comes into sight.

      When you spend your time pondering questions that really have no answer, you are keeping your self stuck in the past, and that is the opposite of evolving, right?

      That’s like asking how will I know when I am fully mature physically, and mentally.

      Some people never mature mentally, why?

      Because they don’t let themselves, they hold themselves back, it is a choice.

      If you want to know what it feels like to evolve past your old relationship, be patient and let time do it’s work…focus on the present and the future…not on the past.

      Don’t worry about when it’s time to reconnect, that is the “true key” to success with no contact.

      The funny part is when you finally get to that point, the answer really won’t matter, because you will be free and happy again.

      Stay Strong!

      S.W.

  3. stormy wrote:

    You have to let your ex go or you will be trapped. I still love him and hope that one day we will be together, but I have learned to be open to the possiblities. And I’m becoming someone new. And its exciting…but it takes time. The possiblities are endless!!

    Hi Stormy,

    Man! You have been paying attention…very good.

    This is exactly what happens during your personal evolution.

    Everyone likes to think that after 30 days they will have their ex back again…guess what?

    99% will not have their ex back after 30 days.

    But!

    They will be on their way to getting their life back, and feeling much better about themselves, and their future.

    All the results I have seen working with people to get their ex back, has shown me time after time that you MUST let your ex (and the old relationship) completely go before the plan starts to work.

    Why are there so few success stories in our forum?

    Because people are too afraid to follow the plan correctly, and let it work it’s magic…that’s why.

    If a pill cures cancer, but no one is brave enough to swallow the pill, that doesn’t mean the pill doesn’t work…does it?

    Thank you for your comment!

    S.W.

    stormy wrote:

    My idea for the next great debate…
    Religion verses Love. Would you date outside of your religion? Or If its not something you talk about early on does it become a deal breaker even if you love each other?

    I am not religious so this would be an interesting topic to me.

    How many people would risk “eternal damnation” to embrace true love?

    Since I don’t believe in “eternal damnation” I would. 😉

    Thanks for your suggestion, I really appreciate your continued participation on my Blog. 🙂

  4. I would have to say getting your life back. For a long time I couldn’t understand the profound importance of that. I rushed through NC the first time and didn’t really change, even though I thought I had. Seeing him again made me relize I hadn’t. And that is when It started making since. I had done nothing but hurt myself believeing he completed me, but he didn’t, and somehow something changed in me THats when I let him go, You have to let your ex go or you will be trapped. I still love him and hope that one day we will be together, but I have learned to be open to the possiblities. And I’m becoming someone new. And its exciting…but it takes time. The possiblities are endless!!

    My idea for the next great debate…
    Religion verses Love. Would you date outside of your religion? Or If its not something you talk about early on does it become a deal breaker even if you love each other?

  5. @ Ben:
    Hi Ben,

    Well put, you sound like a person who has been personally evolving.

    Keep up the good work! 🙂

    Thanks for your comment.

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  6. I just want to say a few things. First off, I agree about getting your life back into place because before you were with your ex, you did have a life and that was one of the reasons why your ex was attracted to you. Acting like a child who keeps nagging will only make your ex feel irritated. Once you got your life back, it is a good test to see whether you actually still love the person or not. If you do, and you are emotionally stable, you should try contacting your ex. In my situation, I miss her and love her but I know, she loved me once before because she saw something in me. A man with confidence, desires, funny, friendly was the thing why she loved me. As time passes, our relationship started to get sour with arguments, etc. which evidently hurted her. For now, I’ve been really busy with everything and even met someone who I felt kind of happy to share my feelings and problems. Although I told her I am not looking for a relationship, you never know right? Maybe she is the one for me OR maybe someone else OR maybe it was my ex. Until then, all I can do is go with the flow. Good luck to everyone out there!

  7. @ Terri:
    Hi Terri,

    I am glad you found the mate of your dreams, that’s what I wish for everyone out there.

    Take your time, and be patient enough to get what you really deserve.

    Thanks for your comments!

    Any ideas for the next question? 😉

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  8. I would definitely have to agree with getting my life back first. I finally ralized that getting my life back and loving me and putting me first was the answer to having a wonderful relationship. I was involved in relationship 3 years ago with a man whom I thought was going to be in my ife for a long time. After giving him my heart, I became last in his life, stringing me along and just really not giving a damn about me.
    It took me almost 2 years to finally get over him and within those two years, i started going out again with my girlfriends and just having a ball meeting new people and just enjoying life. After another year of being single, the man of my dreams (I mean that literally) came into my life without me even knowing. I mean, love will come to you when you least expect it to. I never in my life imgained that the man in my life now would have ever been a part of it. I just did not see this one coming. He is the total oppisite of what I nromally go for and he is everything that i’ve asked for. I know no women likes to wait for a man to come into theire lives to give them love and happiness (Al Green was on to something )but as the saying goes “Patience is bitter, but it’s fruit is sweet” could not have been any truer.

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