You’re alone, scared, desperate, panicked, and you don’t think you will ever get your ex back…guess what?

You’re not alone!

Everyone who has read this, and decided to follow the free plan felt the same way, at first…then they evolved.

This plan will give you back your life, and hopefully your ex…but you have to believe in it, OK?

You must follow it step-by-step without hesitation, or doubt…because it does work.

You must not let your fear hold you back from taking back control of your life, understand?

Join the other members of our forum as together you become a whole person again…heart, mind, and soul.

You can, and will do this with my help, and the support of our forum.

A Free Basic Step by Step Plan to Get Your Ex Back

In these rough economic times, I understand a lot of people don’t have the money to invest in the book “The Magic of Making up” right after a break up, but you still deserve some help, right? This plan is by “no means” a replacement for owning that book, but it is a basic plan to get you started until you can afford the book, OK? I will include a few excerpts to help you and to show the great wealth of information the book will add to this basic plan. So, with that lets get started and help you get your life, and hopefully your ex back again, OK?

Stage One – The Break Up

A. Important before joining our forum you MUST read this post first: Forum Guidelines/Mission Statement if you agree with this statement then proceed to the next step, if not I wish you luck somewhere else.

*IMPORTANT – If you do choose to join our forum in order to provide the highest level of confidentiality please…DO NOT USE YOUR REAL NAME as a member name, it would also be a great idea to use a different email address too. You can open a new “free” email account at Gmail by clicking here. This will definitely help you keep your activity private, and untraceable through search engines.

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**VERY IMPORTANT – MUST READ NOW!

Once you have successfully registered in our forum, you must complete these 3 steps in this order with-in the first day (24 hours) of joining in-order to keep your posting, and PMing privileges as a member:

Step1: Post Your Break up Story

Step2: (if you haven’t already) Write, and SEND your NC message (as outlined in the free plan…no changes) to your ex ASAP!

Step3: Start Your No Contact Diary, and don’t start your NC diary until you send the message, OK?

The instructions for the these steps will follow in the free plan, make sure you read them, and do this correctly.

Thank You!

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Now, let’s get you registered in our forum: How to Kick Loves Ass Break Up Forum, remember to come back here after you’re done, OK?

After you have registered go to the Heart Break Hotel forum (start a new topic name it something like “your forum members name’s Break up Story” and in the Tags box please put this phrase my break up story), I want you to explain your break up (HINT – Don’t use real names, OK?) and then leave it here. Why? Because that was the past, and you can only learn from the past, not live in it…understand?

In the first stages of your break up you will be oh so tempted to constantly contact your ex and beg, plead, cry and try to guilt them into coming back…guess what? This only pushes them farther away as you have proven to yourself (99.999% of the people reading this have already done this, so you’re not alone). Is it too late now that you have made all these mistakes? Nope, just move to the next crucial step in the plan.

Heads Up - The next step is VERY IMPORTANT and can not be skipped. So if you’re feeling frightened or unsure about taking the next step…go read what other people have to say about the journey you’re about to begin: What People Are Saying

Let’s get this right out in the open, 30 days is just a “benchmark” a starting point, this will probably take you much longer (at least 3 months or more) to be successful. If you’re not willing to put in that much time, then do not follow this plan. Go look somewhere I can not help you, understand?

EVERY GREAT JOURNEY BEGINS WITH THE FIRST STEP…now it’s your turn…take that step…and let your personal evolution begin!

B. Write your NC message (use one of the NC message examples I posted word for word…do not change it) and send it to your ex (do not post until you’ve sent the NC message). You can just use one of them in this post “How to Write A Good NC Message” and you won’t need to tweak it at all…then send it (text, email, letter, which ever way you know they will definitely get it, but DON’T CALL THEM).

Then start a new topic in the forum called “My No Contact Diary” (name it something like “your forum members name’s NC diary” and in the Tags box please put this phrase my no contact diary). NOTE – This will be your NC topic and you will post all your NC questions and progress in this topic…please do not start another topic to talk about NC OK? You have now properly initiated NC, let’s move to the next step in the plan.

NOTE – No contact is not about ignoring your ex, it is about cutting them off from your personal thoughts, and motives. This way they can not tell what you’re thinking or doing (in your personal life), and will start to wonder if you’re going to move on without them. This curiosity will be what helps you get them to reconnect at your own pace…later on in the plan.

Using no contact correctly will not drive your ex away, if they don’t come back…it’s because they were already gone, OK? Now, instead of worrying about that focus on the plan, and you will see results…if you sit there wondering if you’re wasting your time…you will be doing just that…so take “positive” action, and keep moving forward.

I realize everyone has different situations to contend with while they are using the no contact rule strategy, so I wrote these two articles to help clarify a few things about the mysterious No Contact Rule:

How to Handle NC in Different Situations

The Real Truth About The No Contact Rule

Because your personal evolution will require a great deal of focus and commitment, you may require additional help other than the Fast Forward Technique mentioned later in the plan. You can get over $4000.00 of free self tools here: $4,570 Worth of Self Help Materials and Tools – Totally Free

*Quick Note about our forum and the forum support buddy system, get yourself a buddy, and get into a support group ASAP, this is a tremendous help to keep you from messing up, and having to start all over again, and you can read more about it here: Forum Buddy Support System

Stage Two – The Personal Evolution

Now that you have severed your ties with your old “failed” relationship it is time to start the healing process and look at what went wrong.

A. Get a notebook and start a personal journal, I know you’re thinking wow what a tip, right? Well guess what you would be amazed by the feedback I have gotten from people who started a personal journal at the beginning of their evolution. They swear it was what kept them going, and helped them to make it through this whole process without giving up, so get one, and start writing in it…OK?

B. The first thing I want you to write in your new journal is a list. Make a list of all the pros and cons about your past relationship with your ex. This will help you to figure out if it is even worth getting them back or not, so get to work. *Note – this list will change as you evolve…so keep updating it daily/weekly, OK?

C. Next start to evaluate all the things that you noticed went wrong and lead up to this break up. Was there something you didn’t like about your ex, or was your ex always hinting about things they didn’t like about you? Make a list and make plans to change these things about yourself, and to talk about the things you didn’t like about your ex when you reconnect later on in the plan, OK? *Note – this list will change as you evolve…so keep updating it daily/weekly, OK?

OK now that you’re off to a good start lets talk about our next crucial step…

Stage Three – Gaining And Maintaining Good Emotional Control

It is so important that you maintain good self control during your evolution, and to do that you will need the help of some good self help tools, like this one found in the book “The Magic of Making up” by T. W. Jackson.

*The following is an excerpt from the book “The Magic of Making up” by T. W. Jackson*

The FAST FORWARD Technique

We have all heard the saying “Time heals all wounds.” But, that is little solace for the person experiencing the pain of the wound RIGHT NOW. Wouldn’t it be nice if there were a way to “fast forward” past the pain? Just press a button and speed up time to a point where we feel more balanced and rational. While I don’t have a magical button for you to press, I do have The Fast Forward Technique. The Fast Forward Technique has many uses, but one of the best is for getting over the pain of loss. If you commit to performing this three times a day at least, you will be amazed.

STEP 1: Feel whatever it is you are feeling and notice how and where you feel it. For example many people feel emotional hurt in their chest or heart (that is why it is called heart break). But, that may or may not be true for you. Now just focus on your feeling and ask yourself silently or aloud the following:

Can I allow this feeling?

Or…

Can I welcome this feeling?

And then answer. It doesn’t matter if it is a Yes or No.

STEP 2: Ask “Could I let this feeling go?” Again, a Yes or No is acceptable.

STEP 3 Ask “Would I let this feeling go?”

STEP 4 Ask “When?”

STEP 5 Now examine the feeling again. Does it feel different? Did you feel a shift? The shift is different for everyone, but is a sign of small healing. You want to feel how your feeling has changed and repeat steps 1 through 5.

The Fast Forward Technique should not be a struggle. In fact, it will usually feel quite warm and soothing.

You will want to do 2 or 3 sessions a day. One session may be 5 or 6 repetitions or more through the 5 steps.

Also, let me let you in on a little secret. I have used The Fast Forward Technique for many things including Managing my feelings about:

. Quitting smoking

. Dealing with “snack attacks”

. Writers Block

. Getting over my father’s death

. Sticking with my workout program

. Major arguments with my wife

The Fast Forward Technique and I are old friends and I hope that by introducing you to each other, you will reap a lifetime of benefits as well.

Note -This is just a small example of the powerful techniques and advice in his book, and why I highly advise you to get it as soon as you can. You can pick up a copy here: *The Magic of Making up System. In the meantime you have me, this free plan, and our free forum, so you’re not alone until you can afford the book. Now on to the last step…reconnection

Stage Four – The Reconnection Process

Now, if you have been doing all the previous exercises, and writing in your journal along with working in our forum, (hopefully with a forum support buddy or group) you should be evolving nicely. If you have screwed up and had to start over, you’re not alone…have you been reading the other members posts in our forum? The important thing is that you DO NOT GIVE UP, you only fail when you fail to keep taking action, understand?

Everyone is under the (false) impression that 30 days of no contact is a magic number, now I will say some people have done it in under 30 days but every situation is unique so do not plan on reconnecting exactly in 30 days of successful NC, OK? Every time you mess up (break NC) you have to start over again, and send a new no contact message as outlined earlier in the plan.

How do you know when you’re ready? Well the best answer to that question would be when you didn’t need to ask that question at all…you”ll just know it inside. Everyone evolves at their own pace…it’s not a race. If you have your emotions under control you won’t be so jumpy to go ahead when you know you’re not ready. That is why I advise everyone to work on yourself before trying to involve someone else (your ex). DO NOT RUSH THROUGH NO CONTACT.

A word about reconnecting with your ex in a LDR (Long Distance Relationship):

You really need to find a way to be in the same place (country, city) they are, or wait until they are going to be in your area for at least a couple weeks, why? Because a face to face meeting is your best bet for success in the beginning of the reconnection stage. Chances are they have told you to move on, and it’s over for good..that’s it.

Why do you think they did that? Because you probably told them how much this break up hurt you, and they do not want to be responsible for anymore of your pain…make sense? Now, how do you think you will convince them with a text, email, phone call, or web cam to take that responsibility again? I doubt you will.

*Update: There have been a few people in our forum that have had great success with web cam reconnects, so this might be a great alternative if you can not make a face to face meeting.

They will feel like they are taking a risk in exploring a new LDR with you, and if it doesn’t work out, they are the bad guy, and broke your heart all over again. Now, if you are in their area for a while and just want to chat, this seems much less threatening then having to make up their mind whether to risk having you come to them, and being responsible for your emotional pain like the last break up.

You see they will be thinking back to what you said, and how you acted from the last break up. This is why I think you will have much more success if you can wait until a face to face meeting is possible with your LDR ex. A face to face will let them feel the full effect of your personal, and emotional evolution, far better than a phone call where they can not read your body language.

If you can not wait until you can arrange a face-to-face meeting then try the following suggestions:

Here are just a few (of the many) suggestions listed in “Mind Magic” a bonus that comes along with MOMU on how to get someone to respond to a phone message, which could be converted into an email message as well.

Maybe try breaking the ice by forwarding a joke email (that you know they would like), or a link to an interesting article online that you both share an interest in.

Put a short note like : pretty funny don’t you think? (for a joke), or pretty interesting, what do you think? (if it’s an article).

Avoid using the words “I” “me” or anything that would refer to you as couple…like “we”.

Ex – Remember when we went to the lecture about that (subject of the article link)?…this brings up memories of the old failed relationship, keep it very casual…move slowly, OK?

The main point being, do not bring up anything about wanting to talk about personal stuff…just break the ice, if your ex replies then follow up with a very indirect invitation to video chat…because you would like to thank them.

“Hey how have you been? If you have sometime next week let’s get together on Skype, I just have to personally thank you for what you did.”

If your ex asks “thank me for what?” tell them you will explain in the chat, and you would like to do it face to face (video chat in your case, because it’s an LDR).

What do you thank them for?…giving you the space you needed when you asked them for it, and then go on to talk about anything but yours/his personal life…keep it very casual, OK? (work, school, sports, movies, news…etc.)

Follow the guidelines in chapter 6 and keep it to about 30 minutes, and then make an excuse to leave…leave your ex wanting more, OK?

Warning: Make sure you’re ready so you don’t get sucked into a personal conversation about your past relationship…if the meeting starts to go this way…get off before it explodes…just say; “I have to go I have a phone call…nice chatting, maybe another time, OK? Bye)

This what I have so far to help people in LDRs reconnect, but I still would highly recommend that you wait until you can do it face to face, for the full effect.

The chances of you getting an invitation (from your ex) to their country or city will be slim, but if you take all the risk the pressure is off them, understand? The bottom line in a LDR or in any relationship is it requires some risk, and if you’re not up to taking that risk, then I would advise you wait until your ex makes the first move, or to move on, and find someone local.

LDR break ups just like local breakups can take months before both sides are ready to talk…you must have patience. The best piece of advice is to stop waiting for them to come back, and start to move on by dating again…this usually speeds up your ex’s personal evolution. There are quite a few LDR break up success stories in our forum which means this plan works for LDR break ups too.

A. When you know you’re ready to attempt reconnection with your ex and begin a “new” relationship, call them to set up a short (30 minute) meeting for coffee, or lunch. Lunch is tough to keep to 30 minutes so I would make it something like coffee or ice cream. Make a midday event in a crowded place, so you’re both comfortable.

Examples of the wrong place to meet:

His/Your Place

A Movie (too long)

A wedding (again too long)

A common friends house (it should just be you two)

A bar for drinks (no alcohol)

Someplace you used to go together before the break up (brings up memories of the past failed relationship)

B. Call them do not text or email…why? Because you want hear their voice and judge their emotional state (are they happy, sad, angry, or not really interested). If they do not answer do not leave a message, OK? Just try again in about 3-7 days…do not call too much this will look you’re stalking them and your ex will run.

C. If you get a “yes” then keep your cool and lay out the plan you previously made. If you get a “no” lets see what T. W. Jackson recommends in his book “The Magic of Making up.”

*The following is an excerpt from the book “The Magic of Making up” by T. W. Jackson*

Getting a No

You may meet with a little apprehension. Like “Uhhh…I really don’t know?”

If so…

Just kind of chuckle and nonchalantly say “It’s only coffee”…or “only lunch”

This most times will turn into “Okay.”

It’s possible that in spite of your careful planning, your ex will not agree to go on a date with you. At this point you may be tempted to:

. Beg and plead

. Get angry

. Accuse your ex of cheating on you

. Rehash every argument you ever had

. Generally fly off the handle

The appropriate response is to gracefully bow out by accepting their no. You can just say, “Alright,” and wish your ex well and then end the conversation. This leaves the door open for future communication.

The next move would be to wait a couple weeks and try again, you just might have caught them on a bad day…don’t give up, only time will tell if this was meant to be or not. In the meantime use our forum and read what other members said and did when things like this happened. Our forum is the most powerful tool you will ever have at your disposal, so please use it.

This concludes the Free Basic Plan, but it is as everything on my Blog, and in our forum, an ongoing work in progress, so if you have any suggestions please PM (private message) me in the forum, and I will add your suggestions if they fit, OK? Remember this is just a Basic Overview of the complete plan in the book “The Magic of Making up” and I highly recommend that you get the book (including the 2 free bonus books), and follow all the specific advice provided inside *The Magic of Making up System.

Now, get to work getting your life, and hopefully your ex, back again.

I wish you the best of luck, and I am always here to help you.

Take Care,

S. Williams

~I know that “love hurts” but with my help you will get strong enough to kick love’s ass~

http://www.howtogetyourexbackfast.com

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You are free to reprint this article, as long as you do not change anything in the article – it must be in it’s original form…including my name, website address, and this statement.

*Disclaimer: Using The Magic of Making up System will not guarantee you get your ex back (you have a 50/50 chance), but if you follow the plan correctly you will get your life back.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.