Does My Ex Miss Me? – How to Make Your Ex Miss You Even More

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You’re probably wondering “does my ex miss me?”I can show you how to make your ex miss you, and how to tell if they miss you already….keep reading, OK?

Does My Ex Miss Me?

If your ex has tried to contact you since the break up, even if it looks like it was for something else…it’s because they miss you. If you didn’t have to contact someone, would you? I wouldn’t, I would get someone else to do it. If they contact you about some shirt, or picture they left behind…it’s just an excuse, believe me, they’re trying to “get my ex back.”

If they have asked you to remain friends with them, they really miss you, and they are having doubts about the break up. This is one of the oldest tricks in the book. Even if they are dating someone else, they still have you on the brain, and they can not shake it. If they are contacting you, remain cool, and I will explain what you need to do next.

How to Make Your Ex Miss You Even More

If your ex boyfriend, or girlfriend is trying to keep in touch with you after you broke up…they miss you. Now if you want to make them miss you even more you need to use the no contact rule. First you send them an effective no contact message, as outlined in a good plan to help you get your ex back.

If you use the right NC message this will flip an emotional switch in your exes mind, and they will start to miss you even more. Good news, huh? The no contact rule is too detailed to explain in this article so I would suggest finding a good free plan to follow. So once you answer the question “does my ex miss me?” You now know how to make your ex miss you even more.

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008 to overcome broken relationships, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free plan to get your ex back fast, and start getting your life back today. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.

Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.

If this article was useful or helpful to you in anyway, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.

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348 Responses to “Does My Ex Miss Me? – How to Make Your Ex Miss You Even More”

  1. sarah says:

    I need help to get him back. We are NOT talking at all. I dont know what to do

    • nee says:

      Focus on you and make yourself a better you buy healthy living and exercise. You will become thinner and prettier. Find something you love to do and do it. Volunteer and help someone who needs you. Redo your surroundings. Read quality books. Get a pet. Do anything that makes you smile and feel better about yourself.

      Believe me, he is finding out everything he can about you and when make a 360 degree turn he is going to investigate. The secret here is that he will come back. They always do when you become mysterious. Do not let anyone know your plans and keep on smiling.

      When he returns and he will. Men need three things. respect, for you let them be their hero and let them know they are, and love. When you give a man these three things he will not leave you again.

  2. sarah says:

    we arent talking at all and i miss him

  3. RACHEL says:

    i have the same problem, my ex left me and it appears he went back to his ex before me. i miss him so much and want him back is there any chance of this happening if he has gone back to her???

    i miss him so much and wish he had come back to me not used me to get back with her.

  4. S. Williams says:

    sarah wrote:

    we arent talking at all and i miss him

    Hi Sarah,

    Use the free plan on my Blog to get your life, and then your ex back again.

    As long as you are having these “desperate” feelings you will never get your ex back.

    Take Action!

    S.W.

  5. S. Williams says:

    RACHEL wrote:

    i miss him so much and wish he had come back to me

    Hi Rachel,

    Wishing will not do it.

    Use the free plan on my Blog to get your life, and then your ex back again.

    As long as you are having these “desperate” feelings you will never get your ex back.

    Take Action!

    S.W.

  6. anna says:

    So what if it has been a year. I have cooled off contact and he contacted contact me sometimes. Now I moved back and we are sort of “sharing” our dog. He wrote me a thank you note for “letting” him have the dog for a while and I don’t know if I should respond with a note?

  7. S. Williams says:

    anna wrote:

    So what if it has been a year.

    Hi Anna,

    Have you properly used no contact as outlined in the free plan on my Blog, or did you just stop contacting each other?

    There is a big difference.

    If you have not been following the free plan, start today.

    Please don’t complain to me about how it’s been a year and you will feel weird using NC.

    That line gets REAL old after a while…believe me.

    If you don’t want to follow my advice or the free plan, you’re wasting both of our time…make sense?

    If you want my help, follow the advice I just gave you…if not, good luck somewhere else…I am a real busy guy.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  8. anna says:

    We just stopped contacting each other, this was before I found the plan. I don’t feel weird using it at all. He is showing vague signs of missing me. So I am going to write back with the no contact letter, and since we have the dog treat it as though the only contact is concerning it’s care.

  9. S. Williams says:

    anna wrote:

    since we have the dog treat it as though the only contact is concerning it’s care.

    Exactly!

    If you read through the free plan, and follow all the links in it you will find more information about how to handle NC in certain situations.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  10. patty.w says:

    hi! i have a question about the nc time. I have the feeling that i may have to give my ex boyfriend more than 30 days of “alone time”, we’ve broke up like 4 times in a 1 year relationship and although we love each other, things are very broken between us, so i really think that maybe 2 or 3 months are better, is that ok? is it too much?. Thank you S.W.!!

  11. S. Williams says:

    patty.w wrote:

    so i really think that maybe 2 or 3 months are better, is that ok? is it too much?

    Hi Patty,

    Actually 4-5 months is about average for most of the successful reconnections I have seen in our forum.

    30 days is just a benchmark…very few reconnect in that much time, some try, and fail, and start over, but very few succeed that soon.

    The moral to the story; “do not rush through NC, or your personal evolution”…it ends up taking you longer to succeed.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  12. Anna says:

    So im pretty excited, today i cut the bs and finally sent the NC message. I was finally prepared to give it my all and I feel good about sending it. I was nervous but i could feel him pulling away the more I pushed so i decided today was the day. Im lookin forward to be working on me for a change. Thanks for everything and helping me get through my procrastination.

  13. S. Williams says:

    Anna wrote:

    So im pretty excited, today i cut the bs and finally sent the NC message.

    Great Job Anna! (Thumbs High) :-)

    Anna wrote:

    Thanks for everything and helping me get through my procrastination.

    You’re Welcome!

    That’s what I do…

    I turn Ass Kissers into Ass Kickers, Welcome Aboard!

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  14. patty.w says:

    tell me how this sounds: i don’t talk to him at all for 2 months, then call him and reconect but in a very cool and relaxed way and don’t really make any move untill like 5 months, or should i absolutely not talk to him for this 4-5 months?, i really want to wait a long time to get back toghether so things go well, and i know i can maintain 2 months of nc, 3 months even, but 4 to 5 is way too much. thanx! :D

  15. S. Williams says:

    patty.w wrote:

    i really want to wait a long time to get back toghether so things go well, and i know i can maintain 2 months of nc, 3 months even, but 4 to 5 is way too much.

    Hi Patty,

    Instead of speculating, start following the free plan, and see how your personal evolution goes.

    It is different for all people, it greatly depends on how you handle your personal evolution.

    This is not written in stone…most people choose how long they want to stay in NC, it’s just 4-5 months of NC and reconnection time has been the most successful formula so far.

    The best way to do this this…is to just do it.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  16. patty.w says:

    S. Williams wrote:

    patty.w wrote:
    30 days is just a benchmark…very few reconnect in that much time, some try, and fail, and start over, but very few succeed that soon.

    then why the book and your articles recomend 30 days as nc time?, maybe the plan should be about waiting more time so it really works, i mean, if very few reconnect in that much time…
    i don’t mean to sound agressive or something, but a few months ago, around september, i broke up with my b/f and read the book, followed the instructions got back toghether and now we’re broken up again, maybe if the book have said to wait more time it would have been different, i’m not blaming the book in any wayfor my brake up, of course!!!! it was for my jealousy and lack of trust, but it makes me wonder (i know i sound mean, but i’m really not, that’s the problem with written word!!!)

  17. S. Williams says:

    patty.w wrote:

    then why the book and your articles recomend 30 days as nc time?

    I didn’t write any of these books so I can’t answer any questions about what was written in them.

    In my articles I recommend “at least” 30 days as a starting point.

    After our forum was created (about 8 months ago) and then the free plan (3 months ago) it has been proven in real life that 30 days rarely works.

    But it has on a few rare occasions, and it depends on many factors that no one would possibly be able to know about every person who ever reads their book or an article.

    I have never read anywhere where it states you “must” get back together in 30 days.

    This is usually the choice of the responsible adult who is following the plan.

    I am afraid you’re standing on very thin ice if you want to blame any books or articles for your premature reconciliation.

    The “main” reason I built this Blog and our forum is from direct feedback from people who wrote to me.

    They wrote telling me they had all kinds of books, and they needed support, and when they wrote to the people who sold them these books…no one answered.

    I answered their call, and believe it or not there are still people out there who will not use the “free” tools I provide them…because it’s too hard.

    Try it without these tools and you will fail 99% of the time.

    Patty worrying about split milk isn’t going to help you any…learning from your mistakes, and not giving up will.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  18. patty.w says:

    @ S. Williams:
    you’re right i took those 30 days as a rule, i guess i’m so nervous about making this work it’s hard to think clearly sometimes, i’ll just take this time to reconnect… but with myself, is just that only thinking how hard this nc time’s going to be is what’s got me all worried… the anicipation, you know?
    thank you so much S.W., and again, i wasn’t trying to make someone else responsible for my brake up, and you’re right, maybe it was premature because that month i waited (that other time) i just waited for it to pass quickly, didn’t make any self improvement at all, i understood that now on thanks to your blog! :D

  19. SteveMc says:

    Scott,

    In regards to sending the effective no contact message. If your girl dumped you 3 weeks ago and you sent your last email to her trying to rekindle 9 days ago, and she responded the next day saying she wanted to move on, and since then we have had 8 days of no contact, should I still send the no contact message at this point?

    I was planning on sending the no contact message if she initiates contact in the near future. I feel like sending the no contact message at this point will just act as reassurance to her that she is still all in my mind etc. What do you think about this? Would there be an effective rationale for sending a no contact message when no contact has already been initiated? Thanks in advance…

  20. S. Williams says:

    SteveMc wrote:

    I was planning on sending the no contact message if she initiates contact in the near future. I feel like sending the no contact message at this point will just act as reassurance to her that she is still all in my mind etc. What do you think about this? Would there be an effective rationale for sending a no contact message when no contact has already been initiated?

    Hi Steve,

    The only thing about waiting for your ex to contact you to send your NC message is that you are on her clock now.

    The sooner you send your message the sooner you can start your personal evolution.

    I don’t think she will be expecting you to send her the NC message.

    She would be expecting yet another attempt to win her back, and then she opens it and it’s says you don’t want her to contact you anymore.

    Just use the subject line: “you were right” she will be quick to open it then.

    Make sure you read the free plan all the way through before doing anything else.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  21. Anna says:

    So two days ago, a day after I sent my NC message. I got our cell bill that both are names are still on. I didnt want to see him so i made sure he wasnt going to be home then dropped it off at his house with his room mate. Today he sent me a text saying “just a quick question, what is my total on the bill because i know its more then this” I texted him back telling him his total. He messaged me back ” Thanks for dropping that off for me” I never messaged anything back. So my questions are, should I have messaged your welcome back? By not saying anything, have i now turned my NC into being a b!tch about it. I’m I prematurly getting excited that he messaged me about it because he set up how much it was going to cost? Was it just an excuss to message me or do you think he just didnt remember? Also is it bad that this is easier then it looks?

  22. S. Williams says:

    Anna wrote:

    So my questions are, should I have messaged your welcome back? By not saying anything, have i now turned my NC into being a b!tch about it.

    No, you did great.

    Great Job Anna! (Thumbs High) :)

    Anna wrote:

    I’m I prematurly getting excited that he messaged me about it because he set up how much it was going to cost? Was it just an excuss to message me or do you think he just didnt remember? Also is it bad that this is easier then it looks?

    Don’t read too much into this, just keep focusing on your personal evolution.

    It was possible that he was trying to get you to break NC…but you didn’t.

    Nothing wrong with easy…it is actually easy when you relax and follow the steps in the plan.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  23. anna says:

    So my ex said he would email this week about taking our boy but he hasn’t yet, and honestly I don’t think he will because I think he wants to wait for me to contact him for whatever reason in his mind. Should I not contact him and let him do it? Or is it ok to “call him on it” and contact him myslef since it is about our boy. I just do not want to play any games…Thank you!

  24. S. Williams says:

    anna wrote:

    Or is it ok to “call him on it” and contact him myslef since it is about our boy.

    Hi Anna,

    It is perfectly fine to contact your ex about your child.

    That will not be breaking NC.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  25. zenia says:

    hi scott :)
    glad i got the opportunity to interact and seek help from u.
    i ate up that me and my love have broken up.trust me,i didnt beg/plead/cry/did anyting to make myself look sorry. i simply said,”i love u and hence respect ur decision”. but then i even asked him to rethink.he said he had thought enuf.
    we didnt break on a violent note. he says, “i still like u so much but cant see both of us in pain. the compatibility has died and somewhat my feelings too”. but i KNOW HE STILL FEELS FOR ME. he has not moved on.

    from inside, i m devastated (didnt show him anything of this though).the last thing i want is my guy patronizing me.

    we were mentally and physically intense close. neither of us have lied or cheated. we have had our past relationships.
    his ex was an opportunist and cheater. he had caught her red handed many times and finally he had broken off his relationship of 5 years.
    he is an egoistic, hard werking, honest and not at all an opportunist when it comes to relationships.this much i have known after being intensely close to him for 18 months.this relationship was never a light matter for both of us.infact breakup has been the las option on both our minds.hence i am a bit taken aback by his decision.

    but then since 4 months now things had been haywire b/n us.we had become 2 bundle of nerves.emotions and sentiments just pilling on and not being sorted.he has been dead busy with his work and i am preparing for mah MBA exams.
    but he had taken a time of 1 month to “think” b4 breaking off and i whole heartedly gave him his time. blv me i didnt look desperate and want clingy at all.
    i have been into relationships b4 too but deep down i know, HE IS THE GUY.i thought a lot and then concluded this.trust me Scott,things have been so tough for me this 1 week but i kept control over mah emotions.i have my parent and relatives around who would question otherwise.
    i agree to follow ur plan (as i have interacted with u via email and got the free pla).i know every girl is skeptical about the NO CONTACT PLAN.i agree taht being apart makes the heart grow fonder.but he actually WANTS US TO BE APART,doesnt he?? he is firm with his decision and egoistic i know (i also know that he HAS NOT MOVED ON and still feels for me).
    Scott, i want my guy back. my only hope is you.i am ready to rejuvenate myself and correct my mistakes. i am already hitting the gym this weekend and have started going out with friends. even i will follow the NC as u say but loosing him will be the thing i do.THIS IS ALL FOR HIM.
    I was never this emotional or into any guy. i love him. i want him back in my arms.

    we are both indians. i am 22 and him 25.
    help me scott!!

  26. zenia says:

    even i will follow the NC as u say but *loosing him will be the thing i do.THIS IS ALL FOR HIM.
    I was never this emotional or into any guy. i love him. i want him back in my arms.

    *loosing him will be the last thing i want to do.

  27. S. Williams says:

    zenia wrote:

    i know every girl is skeptical about the NO CONTACT PLAN.i agree taht being apart makes the heart grow fonder.but he actually WANTS US TO BE APART,doesnt he??

    Hi Zenia,

    Every person thinks the same thing about using no contact…I am giving my ex what they asked for…or so they think.

    People say things they don’t mean all the time…including “I love you.”

    The great thing about using NC is that it will cause your ex to really think about what they want, and how they feel.

    You (and everyone else) thinks this will drive them into the arms of another man or woman.

    It won’t make them do anything they weren’t already planning to do.

    NC is about you getting your life back as a single person, ans then deciding (after that) if you even want your ex back.

    If you decide that you do, then you follow the reconnection plans in chapter 6 of MOMU and in the free plan on my Blog, and start a “new” relationship, not a continuation of the old “failed” relationship.

    You must use NC to let the old relationship die before you try to reconnect.

    People who break NC too early to reconnect, end up breaking up again a month or two later.

    I hear about it in our forum all the time.

    You must believe you are doing the best thing for you and your ex, and give it time to work, OK?

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  28. big daddy says:

    Me and my ex havent talked since mid november and the last text was dec. 1st and NC since on jan. 5th she texted me “I know you probably still hate me but I wanted to wish you a happy and healthy new year hope your good”

    I didnt respond what is happening just being friendly or is she trying to reconnect ?

    She told me to move on 2 months ago so I did.

  29. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    I didnt respond what is happening just being friendly or is she trying to reconnect ?

    Hi BD,

    She could be testing the waters to take your emotional temperature.

    If you want to reveal her true feelings, start following the free plan on my Blog (link is at the top of my Blog).

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  30. zenia says:

    i cant tell u how much “loghter” i feel after getting some1 to help me out.
    my sincere solicitude to u and ur family scott :)

    as far as i know myself, if i start the NC i am noway gonna break it. as i already told u, i DID NOT cry/beg/plead him to saty back when he decided to breakoff. i have that much dignity as i love him.

    he even texted me, “i appreciated that u respected my decision so much. thank u”.

    now presently, after the breakup (its been 6 days) he is the 1 “casually contacting me and readily replies to my texts, also pings me when online. he called up today tpo ask me why wasn’t i online yuestersay and what did i do the entire day.
    i replied (politely) i was busy studying. and then did not reply to his next text.
    i wuold mention again I DID NOT AND AM STILL NOT BEGGING OR CRYING TO HIM.

    you wrote,
    “If you decide that you do, then you follow the reconnection plans in chapter 6 of MOMU and in the free plan on my Blog, and start a “new” relationship, not a continuation of the old “failed” relationship.”

    i have mailed u regarding the MOMU tht me or any friend of mine dont hold any credit/debit card hence i couldn’t by the book (tried 3 weeks). i stay in INDIA.

    and scott, i would LOVE TO start a fresh relationship with my guy.
    and i am ready to work on my mistakes and myself too :)

    just be with me :)

  31. Fatima Nicholson says:

    I finally did it, I sent the NC letter and I haven’t spoken to my ex since Thanksgiving. I am glad that I sent that letter b/c it shows him that I am not stepping stone or desperate to get him back; it’s like reclaiming your independence.

  32. big daddy says:

    How exactly do I reveal her true feelings ? can you tell me what my next move should be if any ?

  33. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    How exactly do I reveal her true feelings ? can you tell me what my next move should be if any ?

    Follow all the steps in the free plan.

  34. S. Williams says:

    Fatima Nicholson wrote:

    I finally did it, I sent the NC letter and I haven’t spoken to my ex since Thanksgiving.

    Great Job Fatima! (Thumbs High) :)

    Make sure you follow the rest of the steps in the free plan.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  35. S. Williams says:

    zenia wrote:

    you wrote,
    “If you decide that you do, then you follow the reconnection plans in chapter 6 of MOMU and in the free plan on my Blog, and start a “new” relationship, not a continuation of the old “failed” relationship.”

    i have mailed u regarding the MOMU tht me or any friend of mine dont hold any credit/debit card hence i couldn’t by the book (tried 3 weeks). i stay in INDIA.

    I can’t help you with that, except to say try buying a visa or mastercard gift card for $50 and use that to buy the book online.

    You can use a gift card just like a credit card…they also offer Paypal as a payment option too.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  36. big daddy says:

    Is there an explained action I should take if she texted me after 1 and a half months ? I would like to make my move

  37. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    Is there an explained action I should take if she texted me after 1 and a half months ? I would like to make my move

    You want to skip no contact and go right to the reconnection?

    Not talking is not the same as following the plan and correctly using NC.

    You need to read the free plan.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  38. big daddy says:

    I was in NC for 1 and a half months

  39. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    I was in NC for 1 and a half months

    You have been following the steps in the free plan for 1.5 months?

    Did you send the recommended no contact message 1.5 months ago?

  40. big daddy says:

    I have been in NC fo 1.5 months and I sent the letter 2 months ago but I have a court matter that I have to contact her because she filed a paper wrong.

  41. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    I have been in NC fo 1.5 months and I sent the letter 2 months ago but I have a court matter that I have to contact her because she filed a paper wrong.

    That shouldn’t be a problem, just contact her and tell her what you need to tell her.

    If she sounds happy to hear from you, and you feel you’re ready…call her back a few days after and try to set up a short meeting as outlined in the free plan, ans chapter 6 of the book MOMU.

    If she sounds like she is pissed off, just be polite and relay the ifno you need to tell her and then get off the phone.

    If she sounds happy and wants to chat…don’t do it over the phone…that’s what you can do at your first short meeting.

    If you do it over the phone…why will she want to come to the face to face meeting, right?

    Just be polite and tell her you need to get going right now (you’re busy), and you will be in touch.

    Make sure you are ready…don’t rush into anything, that’s how everyone fails…rushing things.

    If you have been reading and following the plan, how come you’re not a forum member?

    It is a great free tool.

    Good luck with your call, and…

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

    big daddy wrote:

    I have been in NC fo 1.5 months and I sent the letter 2 months ago

    How come you sent the NC message 2 months ago, but only have been in NC for 1.5 months?

    That’s some fuzzy math.

  42. big daddy says:

    I emailed the court situation to her and she called me with in 1 hour, told me her life story and sound nervous and depressed, I didnt answer, she left a message and once again I didnt answer,but told me to call her if I wanted?? I didnt relize that this forum was available to me until just recent but you really are very helpful.

    By the way im sorry but what is your first name ?

  43. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    By the way im sorry but what is your first name ?

    Scott

    That’s what the S stands for.

  44. big daddy says:

    Thanks scott

    This blog is awsome, so what do i do about my last message received wait a couple days and call her ?

  45. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    what do i do about my last message received wait a couple days and call her ?

    If she sounded depressed I would definitely wait a while, and give her a call back.

    Follow the strategy in chapter 6 of the book MOMU.

    This will get you fully prepared for the next step…reconnection, OK?

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  46. big daddy says:

    Im strong as can be, im doing great, but the last time I talked to her she was crying saying for the first time in her life she failed.

    she told me to call her back what about that just wait still ?

  47. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    Im strong as can be, im doing great, but the last time I talked to her she was crying saying for the first time in her life she failed.
    she told me to call her back what about that just wait still ?

    You do not want to try and reconnect when she is having troubles.

    If she is only reaching out for a shoulder to cry upon this is not the right time to try and reconnect in a new relationship.

    You really need to read chapter 6 in the book MOMU, it will explain everything in detail…OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  48. big daddy says:

    Scott

    You have made this the most useful and helpful blog that I have ever entered thanks so much for the information you are the best.

  49. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    Scott
    You have made this the most useful and helpful blog that I have ever entered thanks so much for the information you are the best.

    You’re Welcome!

    That was my intention when I built it.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  50. big daddy says:

    well you certainly seem to have lived up to your expectations

    thanks again

  51. Anna says:

    So i find out last night that not even 5 days after i gave him my NC message he is dating a new girl that is totally out of his element. im not sure what this sudden change in woman is. I dont know if he really likes this girl or she just seems exciting for the time being. He had hung out with her lots before he broke up with me. I am in a hate for him right now. Im starting to believe i am better off with out him and that saddens me. But like i have read from you before. NC messages dont make them do anything they hadnt already thought about doing.

  52. anna says:

    so the only contact my ex and I are having is with trading care of our dog(child), it is always neutral and upbeat, but a couple of times we have hugged. One time I instigated it and one time he did. Is this ok, or will he read something bad from it? I have the book and have been following everything really well, the only contact is about the dog,but I am shady on this?

  53. S. Williams says:

    anna wrote:

    it is always neutral and upbeat, but a couple of times we have hugged. One time I instigated it and one time he did. Is this ok, or will he read something bad from it?

    You’re better off not showing too much emotion (mixed signals) like that, it will fuck up both of your personal evolutions.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  54. anna says:

    Makes total sense. Thanks for clearing that up for me, sometimes it seems like he’s sending mixed signals but I’m staying strong!!

  55. zenia says:

    hey Scott,

    interacting with u each day makes me feel more and more confident!

    thank u is an understatement :)

    i had asked u, “i know every girl is skeptical about the NO CONTACT PLAN.i agree taht being apart makes the heart grow fonder.but he actually WANTS US TO BE APART,doesnt he??”

    to that u had replied, “People say things they don’t mean all the time…including “I love you.”
    The great thing about using NC is that it will cause your ex to really think about what they want, and how they feel.”

    i am sorry i didnt actually understand wat u meant to say by this.

    every man has an individual character. does NC eork irrespective of that? my guy is very egoistic, confident too but honest and a hard thinker (thpogh he was equally into this relationship till the time we were together).

    i havnt contacted him since last 4 days (he texted me yesterday saying where i am, cant see you oln and all that). would’nt suddenly sending the NC msg make him think that i have been thinking about him desperately all along till now??

    i am asking u all these as im just like…. trying to play safe and take sometime before i start my NC cos afterall ultimately i need to rejuvenate myself at the same time get him back, by the end of my NC period :)

    P.S. just remindidng u as u are a real busy man, its been 6 days since we broke off and we didnt fight on that too.i played a good sport :)

  56. zenia says:

    Anna wrote:

    So i find out last night that not even 5 days after i gave him my NC message he is dating a new girl that is totally out of his element. im not sure what this sudden change in woman is. I dont know if he really likes this girl or she just seems exciting for the time being. He had hung out with her lots before he broke up with me. I am in a hate for him right now. Im starting to believe i am better off with out him and that saddens me. But like i have read from you before. NC messages dont make them do anything they hadnt already thought about doing.

    ya rite scott even u had told me this. i agree as u say it doesnt make any1 do anything they were already not intending to do but still when my ex bf comes to know that i am showing least interest and “taking time for some big decisions” he might involuntarilly go out, thinking that he had taken the rite decision of leaving me and is free now to date any other girl!! though taht IS NOT the messege we try to convey via NC. what he needs to know that i love him but at the same time have my dignity and personality. how to make him realise THIS??

  57. big daddy says:

    well scott

    I called her, she asked me many questions, I asked how she was and shes not financially good,I kept telling her I had to go but she didnt want to let me off the phone she said it was good to hear me laugh and when we finally were getting off she asked me if my divorce was finalized, when we hung up she started crying bad and I just hung up.
    then she texted me 10 minutes later ” sorry i got emotional on that call,it was nice to talk to you and im happy you are doing good and you are buff thank you for being so supportive of me,your a good man?

  58. S. Williams says:

    zenia wrote:

    i had asked u, “i know every girl is skeptical about the NO CONTACT PLAN.i agree taht being apart makes the heart grow fonder.but he actually WANTS US TO BE APART,doesnt he??”

    to that u had replied, “People say things they don’t mean all the time…including “I love you.”
    The great thing about using NC is that it will cause your ex to really think about what they want, and how they feel.”

    i am sorry i didnt actually understand wat u meant to say by this.

    It means that your ex could have been lying when he told you he loved you.

    If you ant to find out his true feelings you must “flip” his switch with NC.

    When you flip their switch and they think they are going to lose you, they have to make a decision.

    Now if they decide to let you go…it is obvious they didn’t love you as much as you thought they did.

    Do you want to be in a one-sided love affair?

    zenia wrote:

    every man has an individual character. does NC eork irrespective of that? my guy is very egoistic, confident too but honest and a hard thinker (thpogh he was equally into this relationship till the time we were together).

    No contact only helps to reveal your ex’s true feelings…if he loves you he will want you back regardless of his character.

    zenia wrote:

    i am asking u all these as im just like…. trying to play safe and take sometime before i start my NC cos afterall ultimately i need to rejuvenate myself at the same time get him back, by the end of my NC period

    Sometimes “playing it safe” fucks things up.

    There isn’t really a “safe way” to fall in love…is there?

    I think you are over thinking NC…keep reading the free plan, My Blog, and the book MOMU until you are ready to totally commit to using NC, and the free plan, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  59. S. Williams says:

    zenia wrote:

    he might involuntarilly go out

    Involuntary? lol

    You mean he might accidentally stick his dick in another woman?

    You are really stretching it Zenia.

    No contact works, but only if you do it correctly, and you can’t do it correctly if you’re afraid to use it, understand?

    Don’t follow the free plan until you are confident enough to use it correctly, or you will fail.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  60. big daddy says:

    Can I get some kind of feed back on my last post

  61. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    Can I get some kind of feed back on my last post

    She sounds like an emotional wreck at the moment…trying to reconnect at this stage would be a bad idea in my opinion.

    Give her more time, and follow the steps in the free plan to advance your personal evolution.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  62. zenia says:

    S. Williams wrote:

    zenia wrote:
    he might involuntarilly go out
    Involuntary? lol
    You mean he might accidentally stick his dick in another woman?
    You are really stretching it Zenia.
    No contact works, but only if you do it correctly, and you can’t do it correctly if you’re afraid to use it, understand?
    Don’t follow the free plan until you are confident enough to use it correctly, or you will fail.
    Take Care,
    S.W.

    i agree. u are right. i cant fear and mpove ahead. will have to think positive. i went thru ur free plan thrice and i agree to wat u say.

    i shall start the no contact method from tomorrow, by sending the NC msg 1st. its important as i still love him.

    tell me 1 thing Scott,
    i had mentioned it earlier to you too in my “break up story” that my ex bf had taken a month’s time to “think” b4 he broke off a week back from now.

    i DID NOT cry/beg/plead or act desperate at that moment. rather i just said,
    “its ur life. i can;t impose myself on u. hence i respect your decision as i have always had.”

    was this a sensible step i took? if yes, then how much was it beneficial on keeping the door of “getting my boyfriend back” open??

  63. S. Williams says:

    zenia wrote:

    how much was it beneficial on keeping the door of “getting my boyfriend back” open??

    This plan is NOT about getting your ex back, it is about getting your life back first.

    You’re reading the plan, but you’re not understanding the plan, why?

    Because you are too focused in getting your ex back…you have to start thinking about this a different way.

    If you don’t focus on getting your life back first you’re chances of getting your ex back at all are slim.

    Don’t let fear, and doubt stop you from getting back control of your life.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  64. zenia says:

    thanx scott for understanding me. u were right i am focussing too much on getting him bak. maybe b’cos i ahd subdued my feeling of loss after he broke off and this is where i 1st got to pour my emotions out about it.

    but u didnt reply that

    “i DID NOT cry/beg/plead or act desperate at that moment. rather i just said,
    “its ur life. i can;t impose myself on u. hence i respect your decision as i have always had.”

    was this a sensible step i took? “

  65. S. Williams says:

    zenia wrote:

    but u didnt reply that

    “i DID NOT cry/beg/plead or act desperate at that moment. rather i just said,
    “its ur life. i can;t impose myself on u. hence i respect your decision as i have always had.”

    was this a sensible step i took? “

    Yes, much better than begging, and pleading, (which would only push your ex farther away) and that will work in your favor during your personal evolution.

    But!

    You still need to follow all the steps in the free plan, OK?

    Don’t be afraid to take control and get yourself back again as a single woman, after sending the recommended NC message…that is the second most important step you need to take, and that takes time.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  66. big daddy says:

    does she still have any feelings @ S. Williams:

  67. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    does she still have any feelings @ S. Williams:

    She seems to still feel a connection, but until you can properly start the reconnection process it will be hard to tell how strong her feelings really are.

  68. big daddy says:

    so how much more time do you think I should give her@ S. Williams:

  69. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    so how much more time do you think I should give her@ S. Williams:

    I would wait until she is not so emotional and has her personal problems worked out on her own.

    This way you know she isn’t just looking for a shoulder to cry on.

    How long will that take?

    Only she would know, it is up to her to get her own life back in order.

  70. Cecilia says:

    My ex and I have been broken up for over a month now after almost 6 years. It’s been 3 weeks since I last saw him but I have talkied to him. I went away for a few weeks and he constantly was texting me. At first I ignored him but sometimes I couldn’t because we have an apartment together and there are stuff that we still need to settle about that. Sometimes he would text me random stuff, like trying to update me on what’s going on and I would tell him to stop texting me. He would get mad and stop but then text me the next day again like nothing. He always texts me about something important that we need to talk about and then he continues talking about other things. Today he wanted to come over and see my new car, but I told him no, maybe another time but he kept on insisting. I know he misses me but how do I follow the no contact rule when there are some important things that we still have to talk about??

  71. S. Williams says:

    Cecilia wrote:

    how do I follow the no contact rule when there are some important things that we still have to talk about??

    Hi Cecilia,

    Just control the conversations, and keep them short and about your business only.

    This is all covered in the free plan at the top of my Blog.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  72. zenia says:

    I STARTED THE NO CONTSCT!!!!!!!

    Yesterday around 1130pm INDIAN time i texted him the NC msg u suggest. exactly that.
    but he didnt reply anything to it :/

    is that normal??
    we both have been cordial and calm tyo eachother since the breakoff and did not have a spat while he broke off. so no ugly mess, u see. and u even said me that it was a good thing that i did not create a scene when he called it off. i am happy i didn’t :)

    and now its been 22 hours of my NC.

    donno how it is gonna turn out but Scott u know, i have immencer faith in me that i WON’T break my NC nad hence won’t contact him b4 i am ready to :)

    i raed ur free plan everyday but i had 1 question… doesn’t no contact have any bad side to it??>
    just asking, rest assured i am gonna maintain it.

  73. S. Williams says:

    zenia wrote:

    doesn’t no contact have any bad side to it?

    NC is about finding out the truth.

    The only bad side I could see is that you find out your ex really didn’t love you as much as you thought he did.

    But then again, that might bad to hear (at first), but it’s good to know, right?

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  74. big daddy says:

    when I was saying bye she was crying and I just said bye and hung up should I have consoled her ? I am so confused.@ S. Williams:

  75. zenia says:

    S. Williams wrote:

    zenia wrote:
    doesn’t no contact have any bad side to it?
    NC is about finding out the truth.
    The only bad side I could see is that you find out your ex really didn’t love you as much as you thought he did.
    But then again, that might bad to hear (at first), but it’s good to know, right?
    Stay Strong!

    ohhww… :/
    ya rite it is always good to know the truth than staying in dim.
    but tellme, true it is that ur bf mite dump u for various reasons but is it necessaery that he doesn’t love the girl hence dumps??
    i mean i donno about my ex (which i will get to know at the end of the NC period) but at the end of the NC there is a possibility that i realise he did love me actually, isn’t it??
    S.W.

  76. zenia says:

    by the way Scott,
    i am really keeping myself busy these daysn(yoday is the 2nd day of my NC and it aint being that difficult). i het the gym yesterday and was out the whole day for study purpose :)

    he was at the back of my mind thru out but i endured it :)

  77. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    I just said bye and hung up should I have consoled her ? I am so confused.@ S. Williams:

    No, it is not time for that.

    If she only comes around when she needs help…that’s not love my friend.

    If you feel you’re ready for reconnection…follow the steps in chapter 6 of MOMU.

    There is also some great advice on the free plan about reconnecting too.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  78. zenia says:

    rite it is always good to know the truth than staying in dim.
    but tellme, true it is that ur bf mite dump u for various reasons but is it necessaery that he doesn’t love the girl hence dumps??

    i mean i donno about my ex (which i will get to know at the end of the NC period) but at the end of the NC there is a possibility that i realise he did love me actually, isn’t it??

  79. Anna says:

    Ok so yesterday, he came over to get his stuff and decided to have a visit, terrible mistake on my part. He kept looking at me, and he scouted out my house and noticed all the changes. He told me was leaving a few things here so he can come visit again sometime. (Come visit sometime WTF?) He is dating another girl and he wants to come visit. So after he left he asked how I knew about him dating this other girl and i told him the mutual friend that we have told me she actually made a point of phoning me at 1:30 in the am. He then told me he wanted to be the one to tell me. I acted cool with it because in my mind the more I over react the further he would pull away. So i acted cool and told him i was happy for him. (if you tell someone not to do something, thats gonna make want to do it even more). So after he continued to tell me how i looked really good and he loved my hair, he also told me that i had so much more confidence and i was glowing. What is the deal with this? I also decided to join a dating site today to get out there and not spend so much time at home. So he ended up being on the same dating site. PS he was online today. Nice new relationship week old and hes still on dating sites. i have to resend my NC.

  80. Anna says:

    I also bought the MOMU it is really great, nice short read, to the point and helpful

  81. Sally says:

    im coming up to 30 days of NC! Still not heard anything from him, NOTHING. But im not done yet as the plan states i still dont feel ready and need maybe another 30 more. Just wish he wud text or ring.
    Going awaythis weekend with some girl friends and unfortunetly we are staying in the same hotel as i staayed with my ex last year when we were toghether and happy (lovely memories). Go away tommorow for the weekend, worried it will stir up some memories and make me weak! We had some amazing times:(

  82. S. Williams says:

    zenia wrote:

    i mean i donno about my ex (which i will get to know at the end of the NC period) but at the end of the NC there is a possibility that i realise he did love me actually, isn’t it??

    I don’t have a clue what you’re asking me Zenia.

  83. S. Williams says:

    Anna wrote:

    i have to resend my NC.

    Hi Anna,

    That’s it…learn from your mistake, and then start over and do it right this time.

    Stay Strong!

  84. zenia says:

    S. Williams wrote:

    zenia wrote:
    i mean i donno about my ex (which i will get to know at the end of the NC period) but at the end of the NC there is a possibility that i realise he did love me actually, isn’t it??
    I don’t have a clue what you’re asking me Zenia.

    i meant that is it necessary that a guy quits a relationship only when he stops loving his girl??

  85. zenia says:

    moreover Scott i wanted to ask,
    certain girls often say “its been 30 days (or watever) of NC but i still dont feel ready to reconnect..”
    what does this NOT READY TO mean?

  86. S. Williams says:

    Sally wrote:

    But im not done yet as the plan states i still dont feel ready and need maybe another 30 more.

    Hi Sally,

    That’s right 30 days doesn’t mean anything.

    It takes time for people to personally evolve and realize their true feelings.

    If you love someone you have to be patient, and believe in the connection you one had, and that it is still strong.

    Either way don’t sit around waiting for your ex.

    It has been proven time and time again on my Blog and in our forum, that if you start to move on (let go of the old relationship) you will feel better faster, which in turn will attract your ec back to you.

    This is why goal #1 is to get over the old failed relatuionship, and get your old happy self back as a single person.

    You were happy before you met, right?

    That’s what attracted your ex…he didn’t want some mopey, depressed chick who was scaring everybody.

    He was after that “hot” confident girl that he didn’t even know if he could win over…ah! now you see, don’t you?

    This plan is simple…don’t over think it, OK?

    If you don’t give up on the plan, you will be happy again.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  87. S. Williams says:

    zenia wrote:

    moreover Scott i wanted to ask,
    certain girls often say “its been 30 days (or watever) of NC but i still dont feel ready to reconnect..”
    what does this NOT READY TO mean?

    Zenia you are becoming a giant pain in my ass.

    You think I can predict what your ex will or will not do?

    That is the job for a psychic.

    I offer a free plan will a good success rate.

    If you were reading the free plan, and the forum you would know the answers to all your questions, and the one’s that aren’t answered mean you have to follow the plan to answer them, OK?

    I can not fucking predict the outcome.

    If you have serious doubts about using my advice, and/or the free plan…please leave and find a place that you trust.

    I am real busy helping other people, and I don’t have time to answer your comments all day long.

    Good Luck!

    S.W.

  88. Renee says:

    To all who want their ex back…stick to the plan it really does work.

  89. big daddy says:

    how long can no contact go and still get back together ? Im with someone else but still love her.

  90. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    how long can no contact go and still get back together ? Im with someone else but still love her.

    As long as it takes.

    If you were following the free plan, you would take each step, one-by-one.

  91. big daddy says:

    I have followed the plan and did everything I feel I am ready.

    you seem to think shes an emotional wreck and I tend to agree with you.

    the last time we talked she was happy to hear from me and didnt want to get off the phone and when we went to hang up she was crying but I just said bye and hung up on her crying.

    she sent me a text jan. 5th saying I know you probably still hate me but I just wanted to wish you a happy healthy new year and hope your good and I never responded to that text.

    then I had to contact her over a paper she needed to sign via email and she called me within a half an hour after I sent the email and I didnt answer then I called her the following day thats when she was happy to hear from me and cryed at the end but I hung up and said bye well she was crying.

    about a half hour after the conversation she texted me “sorry I got emotional at that call it was nice to talk to youand im happy your doing good,thank you for being supportive of me,your a good man”

    and we havent contacted each other again since that was 6 days ago

  92. big daddy says:

    I guess what im asking is where do you think I am at here as far as contact goes and when.

    By the way the happy new year text came first from her

  93. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    I have followed the plan and did everything I feel I am ready.

    OK then, there is a part of the free plan called the reconnection phase, and that is also covered in great detail in chapter 6 of the book The Magic of Making up.

    Go read, and follow the steps if you’re ready.

    Good Luck!

    S.W.

  94. zenia says:

    NO NO i AM following ur plan and doing fyn!!
    i have already sent him the NC msg and started the NC…its been 6 days.

  95. S. Williams says:

    zenia wrote:

    NO NO i AM following ur plan and doing fyn!!
    i have already sent him the NC msg and started the NC…its been 6 days.

    OK, Keep up the good work!

  96. Elizabeth says:

    Hi Scott,

    Seems as if I’ve made some stumbles and need your advice to get back on track. My ex-husband and I reconnected after a 18 years separation. We dated for a year and a half. He and I got into an argument about my son’s behavior. He said some things that angered me. I retaliated via text message. After I sent him the text, he immediately cut off all contact with him. I tried for 3 weeks to contact him. He spoke 2 times in 3 wks, for about 30 mins. I wrote a 5 page letter, apologizing, validating his feelings and stating I would change. No response. Out of desperation, I drove to his house (I live in GA, he lives in VA). He wasn’t happy I came unannounced, yet me made the best of the 5 days I was there. As soon as I returned to GA, he instantly went back into ignoring me. Christmas holidays I again drove to his house (unannounced). This time I stayed 12 days. We had an awesome time. Even brought in the New Year together. I called him last week and left a voicemail stating I agreed with the breakup. It was in our best interest and that he was right to suggest it. Having access to his cell records, I can see he’s talking to other people. Where do I go from here? Another handwritten letter after I’ve left the verbal NC? I appreciate any help you can provide.

  97. Sarah says:

    Me and my Ex had a relationship for about 3 months and still 4 months on we are still in contact always by him texting me and I always answer he has told me though whilst drunk broke down and told me he cant give me what I want commitment but still cares for me should I try NC but I have changed my number so he cant get me the same he would have to try harder to reach me is it worth a try.

    Thanks

  98. Sally says:

    Today i have come to my 30 days nc. I have read the maguc of making up and there is alot of emphasis on 3o days and then time to recconnect. I feel so much stronger now anbd have been dating, having fun ect. And now im at the point of thinking about when its time to recconnect? However while i was thnknig about this ladt night i felt slightly sad, of what it will be like to hear his voice again, thinking is he sad? How will he sound? and more importantly does he miss me and would be prepared to meet?

    This past month has been amazing finding this plan and getting myself back, and im so scared if i make contact ill go back to square one. But i some point im going to have t try right? Basically its been 30 days now, i still want him back but im not sure whether to give it a bit more time. I dreamt of him last night and felt sad this morning i still really want him back. Do you think im ready scott, its just 30 days to me dosent seem quite long enough???

  99. Sally says:

    I truly feel i have made good progress in evolving. And getting my ex back would make me happy beyond words, but i do beleive i wud be ok without him, because i have been. But still feel sad and anxious at the thought of him not coming back when i go into the recconnection stage. I think i probably need another 30 days, which will be 60 when i do recconnect. I also feel sad and angry that my ex has made no contact with me.

  100. Ivana says:

    Hi Scott,
    my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me 1 month ago, because he is cooled of of me. he said he loves and everything but something happened in his head one day and he stopt calling me, kissing me at the same way as before, started to go out with his friends and drink all the time. all that happened after he got fired and find another job. of course the brake up was my fault, he said, because i never wanted to sleap at his house, and i didnt want to hang out with his friends but thats because i dont have anything incommon with them. he told me that he no longer see as a mother of his children, and that i should find myselfe another boyfrend so that i could see how good he was to me. that broke me into pieces. btw all 4 years that we have bin together he wanted to merry me, and i couldnt tell him what i felt about him. when I finally freed of fear to say what i want he was already on the edge and he left me. i scrued up and i want him back. btw i did all the donts the first week we broke up. after that i stop calling him and took control of my life. PLEASE HELP ME, IM LOSEING HOPE, he is very stubborn person and when he imagine something he doesnt go back
    after two weeks of no contact my ex started texting me callcing me saying he wanted to see me…so i went to his home and we talked, but not about the brake up only the ordinary things. after a week (he was still calling me all the time) i asked him if he would go out with me and my friends. he came around midnight and i went with him to his car. btw he was drunk, and he looked at me in the same way as before the brake up, and keep saying things like “we have to go to dinner together” “i have to take you there”…..that night we slept together, and he drove me home the next day. i thought that he was having second thought, about the brake up. I WAS WRONG!!! he didnt remember some things he said to me that day when he was drunk.
    we went on a drink on sunday and he said that some things i did the day before pushed him away from me :((
    he keeps saing things like “i dont know, time should go by, if I see that I was wrong, i will come back”…..but when he`s drunk he is different person, the person i know…. I think that his mind and heart tell a different story
    i told him that i know that we were met to be together,(ok that was wrong i know that now) he was glad to hear that, but still going his way
    I dont know what to think enymore, what to do, how to act???
    if you could give me some advice i would be wery grateful
    i`m afraid to take any actions, because i dont want to lose him
    i`m hopeing you could help me because noone else would replay to my comment
    Thanks

  101. S. Williams says:

    Elizabeth wrote:

    Having access to his cell records, I can see he’s talking to other people.

    Hi Elizabeth,

    First off…stop spying on your ex.

    This will only make matters worse, you can’t build trust by spying…understand?

    Elizabeth wrote:

    Where do I go from here? Another handwritten letter after I’ve left the verbal NC? I appreciate any help you can provide.

    Go to the top of my Blog and find the link for the free plan.

    Read it all the way through, and then start at the top and follow every step.

    There will directions for writing a new NC message…use that message word for word (no changes).

    Email it to him, or which ever way you think he will get it…but don’t tell him…put it in writing.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  102. S. Williams says:

    Sarah wrote:

    he has told me though whilst drunk broke down and told me he cant give me what I want commitment but still cares for me should I try NC

    Hi Sarah,

    If you want to reveal his true feelings for you…NC is the way to go.

    You can use the free plan (top of my Blog) for step-by-step instructions.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  103. S. Williams says:

    Sally wrote:

    im so scared if i make contact ill go back to square one. But i some point im going to have t try right? Basically its been 30 days now, i still want him back but im not sure whether to give it a bit more time. I dreamt of him last night and felt sad this morning i still really want him back. Do you think im ready scott, its just 30 days to me dosent seem quite long enough???

    Hi Sally,

    30 days is just a benchmark, and hardly anyone is ready by then.

    The free plan (not MOMU) talks about a personal evolution.

    This usually takes 3-4 months to complete, and get yourself back as a single person again.

    All your mentions of fear indicate you are not ready…follow your gut instinct and keep on evolving…there is no rush.

    Don’t worry about reconnecting in 30 days…you’re doing fine.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  104. S. Williams says:

    Sally wrote:

    I also feel sad and angry that my ex has made no contact with me.

    All people evolve at their own rate.

    That is why it’s so important not to rush through NC…give your ex time to miss you and evolve…OK?

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  105. S. Williams says:

    Ivana wrote:

    I dont know what to think enymore, what to do, how to act???
    if you could give me some advice i would be wery grateful
    i`m afraid to take any actions, because i dont want to lose him
    i`m hopeing you could help me because noone else would replay to my comment

    Hi Ivana,

    You need to follow the free plan (top of my Blog) and get back control of your situation.

    This will give you both time to think, and evolve.

    At the end 3-4 months you will both know how you truly feel about each other, and what you want…just be patient.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  106. Sarah says:

    S. Williams wrote:

    Hi Sarah,
    If you want to reveal his true feelings for you…NC is the way to go.
    You can use the free plan (top of my Blog) for step-by-step instructions.
    Take Care,

    S.W.

    Thanks Scott for the reply. I have already started NC for about 1 weeks now should I wait to see if he contacts me or just send the message about NC anyway sorry should of mentioned that before.

  107. S. Williams says:

    Sarah wrote:

    I have already started NC for about 1 weeks now should I wait to see if he contacts me or just send the message about NC anyway

    No contact doesn’t really start until you send the recommended NC message.

    This message accelerates your personal evolution, and flips your ex’s switch.

  108. Morganna says:

    First of all let me tell you I’ve only found out about this website, the NC rule and the MOMU book 4 or 5 days ago so take it easy on me :)

    My boyfriend and I broke up on Dec4th after being 18 months together. My father had passed away 2 months before, he was stressed about opening his shops, things were tense. But things ended in good terms. I was in NC till Dec22nd. I didn’t read it anywhere, I just thought it was the best thing to do. He invited me to the opening of his shop, and since I had been such a big part of it I agreed to do so. We talked, laughed, it was great. But when we were alone we talked about relationship matters, and though we didn’t fight, the tone of the conversation wasn’t the best either. The next day he mailed him, I mailed him back saying I needed time for myself, and replied back saying if it was such a hard thing to be in touch with him, then he would respect my decision and not contact me at all. I really didn’t know if I wanted to be back together with him. I was in NC till Dec31st, when I sent him a Happy NY message, to which he replied. The next day he started posting songs on his FB about how he misses me and what not, but never told me directly. I also saw there was this girl all over him. I didn’t react. On Jan5th we met on MSN and we joked and laughed the whole time, I was happy. 2 days later he posted another song saying how he’s with another woman but it’s his ex-Gf he loves. I didn’t react. We exchanged a few messages during that time, nothing much. On Jan11th he changed his FB status to “In a Relationship” to that girl. I freaked out. I sent him a message wishing him all the happiness in the world, with or without me, I remembered some of our great times together, I said I loved him and… big mistake, I told him I’d let him go but I’d wait for him (how could I…). He replied back saying he couldn’t tell me whether I should wait or not, and started comparing me with her, basically. I replied back “well, then I’m really happy for you and I hope she is to you what I couldn’t be”. We exchanged a couple of more messages about other things. Then I found out about this website and the books, and I’m commited to the free plan. He got together with this girl 3 weeks after we broke up. Since Jan14th that there’s NC between us, although he keeps checking my FB page (I stopped checking his, it only gets me in trouble lol). But I told him I’d wait for him, which of course, isn’t true.

    My question is: by telling him that, did I screw up my chances of getting him back? I didn’t cry, or beg for him to take him back (not all is bad lol). He’s not over me and I know it. I just don’t know if I pushed him away for good. Any advice would be very much appreciated. Thanks.

  109. S. Williams says:

    Morganna wrote:

    My question is: by telling him that, did I screw up my chances of getting him back? I didn’t cry, or beg for him to take him back (not all is bad lol). He’s not over me and I know it. I just don’t know if I pushed him away for good. Any advice would be very much appreciated. Thanks.

    Hi,

    Here’s your answer…

    Go to the the top of my Blog and find the free plan.

    Read and follow…that’s it!

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  110. R.G says:

    well i broke up with my ex from about a year ago she was acting slutty and everytime we broke up she was getting someone new and then aske me back i feel she is sexually atracted to me more then anything else so before a year i decided its over i told her to f–k off i got a new gf, she tried to get me i changed my nomber and blocked her from everything, but the point is that till now she is trying dirty games like making fake profiles to talk to me and trie to screw my life with my gf like trying to make some internet boys to add my gf to talk dirty so she can send me a conversation or something but heheheh she cant cause my gf loves me till death and that makes her crazyyy. i miss her but only sexualy and i dont feel that much attracted to enyone else but i will never be back to her plus i am acting as i dont know that she is making fake profiles and i use it against her hehehe you know i tell her things that make her more nervous and she believes everything i say cause it suppose to be talking to a friend from internet not my ex so i am not lying heheh any advice to play her more??? she diserve it and more please help me more

  111. S. Williams says:

    R.G wrote:

    you know i tell her things that make her more nervous and she believes everything i say cause it suppose to be talking to a friend from internet not my ex so i am not lying heheh any advice to play her more??? she diserve it and more please help me more

    Sorry that is not why I built my Blog to help people mess with each other.

    All the bad you cause her will come back to you x 10.

    If you really want her out of your life…ignore her.

  112. naaat says:

    i deleted my ex boyfriends number, facebook, msn, pictures, texts and everything, and he contacted me the other day saying that he thought it was time to let me go. during the course of the night he said he still wasnt over me, hasnt been happy since splitting with me,starting sending me love song lyrics, he still has feelings for me, saying i was the best girlfriend hes ever had, im the best girl alive and im perfect etc and one day we’ll most definitely get back together..
    next day, i get nothing.
    what do i do? :/

  113. S. Williams says:

    naaat wrote:

    what do i do?

    Hi,

    Go to the top of my Blog, and click on the link for the free plan.

    Start at the top and read and follow every step.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  114. Gem says:

    hey me and my ex recently restarted our new relationship after a 3mths break,we agreed we needed to be more honest and open with our feelings also both lose contact with the ppl who tried spltting us up, everything was great we went on dates etc then 6 weeks later he starts talkin to the ppl who split us up b4 saying he will work what he wants, talk to who he wants etc, i said i need more from him i need a new fresh start from relationship and if he cant working with me on this then we cant start again. for 4days he kept saying he will wanna wrk things out as he loves me. he hears from ppl that im apparently seeing sum1 else which im not, he turns around nxt say says he doesnt want to work things out anymore as im seeing sum1 so no point and he doesnt no how he feels he just isnt happy and nos we never will be. i told him its not true and if he keeps dumping me for them reasons why did he bother doing this to me all over again esp as we have a child toegther. he says its not my fault but i obv cant be enuf for him even tho he kept on saying we are meant to be as he always misses me and loves me so much. i had low confidence anyway after baby and he makes it worse, i dont get why he cant tell me whats making him unhappy

  115. S. Williams says:

    Gem wrote:

    hey me and my ex recently restarted our new relationship after a 3mths break

    Did you follow the free plan, and use no contact correctly during the 3 months?

    If you don’t personally evolve things don’t change, and the relationship falls right back into the old failed relationship.

    You can find the free plan at the top of my Blog.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

    Take Care

  116. Gem says:

    yeah i followed the plan and i had evolved i didnt contact him other than for our child in the 3mths, it was him thats stuck in the past and not talking feelings through, if he doesnt no whats making him unhappy then it will never work. in the 3mths i had been dating sumone else but it didnt coz he didnt like it that he cudnt see me all time as i have a child

  117. S. Williams says:

    Gem wrote:

    yeah i followed the plan and i had evolved

    3 months is a good starting point, but it sounds like you either:

    A. Reconnected too soon, or…

    B. Moved too quickly when you started the reconnection phase.

    Do you have the book the Magic of Making up?

    Chapter 6 explains how you should proceed with the reconnection process, and what to be cautious of.

    I would start NC over again, and stick to it until he figures out how he truly feels about you.

    As far as dating “one guy” who was jealous of your time with your child…he doesn’t sound like a very good fit.

    Maybe you should take a closer look at how you choose your partners.

    Start NC over, some people take 5-6 months to evolve.

    Just because you feel you evolved, doesn’t mean your ex did.

    And do not move too quickly (have sex) when you start the reconnection process.

    You have to start a new relationship, not jump back into the old one too quickly, understand?

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  118. Gem says:

    he moved to quickly and was rushing things which i kept backing off which is what caused problems, he expected us to et back together and beacuse we lived together b4 we split he asumed we would do it again but i have spent mths with just me and my son and would take good few years b4 i go there again. i guess in his mind the backing off made him think i didnt really want to be with him but i dont want to get myself in the same situation and as far as the other man i dated i realised pretty quickly what he was like, he was fine about me being a full time mum wasnt intil we started dating ppl properly that he got jealous, i guess lot of immature ppl cant handle kids from other men i guess

  119. S. Williams says:

    Gem wrote:

    he moved to quickly and was rushing things

    He obviously wasn’t ready.

    Go back to NC, and keep evolving and living your life.

    You can’t force people to grow up, they have to do that on their own.

    But you can take control of your own life, and be happy again.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  120. big daddy says:

    Hi Scott

    I have been talking to her a bit now and she called me honey on the phone, she asked if I have a girlfriend also said she went thru all my divorce crap and now I dont get you but someone else will. shes crying to me on the phone about how bad she fucked up her life and moved back to Fla. with parents and wants me to bring her to dinner when I drive thru next month. because she knows im moving there march 1st. where is this going ? any advice other than the plan ? this shit isnt in the book is it

  121. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    where is this going ?

    Hi,

    I am not a mind reader, how am I supposed to know “where this is going?”

    I offer a free plan, and forum to help people help themselves.

    If not is not enough perhaps you should keep looking until you find what you’re looking for, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  122. Ivana says:

    hi, i just find out that my ex had an accident with his car. should i call him and ask how he is doing, what happened…..
    i afraid that if i dont call him that he would think that i dont care anymore for him
    HELP

  123. S. Williams says:

    Ivana wrote:

    i afraid that if i dont call him that he would think that i dont care anymore for him

    You’re wrong.

    Now is the best time for him to realize how much he misses you.

    No contact only works when you follow the plan…no exceptions.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  124. torres says:

    Hi mr williams

    Need you help, been with my ex for 2 and a half yrs. My ex broke up with me
    2mnths ago and at first I was going nuts to get her back but it didn’t work. I then went
    With leaving her alone with no contact she called me out the blue to check up on my family.
    After that no contact I did not call or txt on her birthday. A week after new years I txt her after three weeks of complete no contact she called
    Me straight away and we spoke for 5 hrs and that was it I was calm with this convo. We then chatted again for anot 4hrs on the fne a week later I have sent her a general
    Txt since this convo but she never got back.

    I stumbled across ur website and how I wished I came across it before!!!! Anyways I sent her a NC msg from ur blog and immediately after she called me four times I did not pick her calls.
    Was it okay I sent her the nc nsg because I was the one who was initiang the contact.I
    knw the next step is to better myself but I think I have already started
    this and feel a lot better than before.

    Please give me some more tips will she call agauin because I think she will not???

  125. S. Williams says:

    torres wrote:

    Was it okay I sent her the nc nsg because I was the one who was initiang the contact.I
    knw the next step is to better myself but I think I have already started
    this and feel a lot better than before.

    Hi,

    Yes you did the right thing! (Thumbs High) :)

    The next “steps” are to follow the rest of the free plan…do everything it says to do.

    I believe you are already a member of our forum, read and follow the guidelines and become active in the forum…it will help immensely.

    torres wrote:

    Please give me some more tips will she call agauin because I think she will not???

    Don’t worry about what your ex will do, or is doing…this will screw up your personal evolution, understand?

    Focus on the plan, and yourself…get your life back first.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  126. torres says:

    Thanks mr williams, yeah I undrrstanad what your saying about thinking about her
    It does mess me up so much. Anyways I’m defo on that plan and should be getting the book. I only wished I started this right from the very minute of the break up.
    I got one more question do you think two months is a long time and how can
    one person depend on someone just stop depending on them. She told me that she has become mentaly stronger. Is she bluffin me, I remember her telling me on my last convo with her that she enjpyed me chasing her when she broke it off at the begining,
    do you find that weird???

  127. S. Williams says:

    torres wrote:

    I got one more question do you think two months is a long time and how can
    one person depend on someone just stop depending on them. She told me that she has become mentaly stronger. Is she bluffin me, I remember her telling me on my last convo with her that she enjpyed me chasing her when she broke it off at the begining,
    do you find that weird???

    2 months is not a long time.

    Forum members have gotten their ex’s back after 6 months, and they were in an LDR to boot.

    Once you put your foot down (for a change) it freaked your ex out, and she will say all kinds of weird shit to get you to break NC.

    You flipped her switch, and now it’s time for you both to personally evolve past the old “failed” relationship, so you can reconnect later on in a new stronger relationship.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  128. torres says:

    Mr williams just found out that my exz mum is in hospital. She txtd one of her cuzin who is a close friend of mines, what shall I do shud I get in touch what if I dnt and another guy gives her the support wnt he become close to her???

  129. S. Williams says:

    torres wrote:

    what shall I do shud I get in touch what if I dnt and another guy gives her the support wnt he become close to her???

    If you want to be successful using no contact, you must stop trying to find reasons to break NC.

    Don’t worry about “other guys” that kind of thought pattern will make you fail.

    This is an evolution, if you want to become the guy she goes to, to cry on your shoulder, but nothing else, then break NC and become her “good friend”, and watch while she uses you as an emotional crutch until she finds another guy.

    The only way you will get her back is by you both personally evolving…and she won’t evolve if you don’t leave her alone.

    You should be focusing on the plan, and your personal evolution, not what is going on in her life, it’s really none of your business…you’re broken up.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  130. big daddy says:

    my ex girl knows im going to be in her city that im flying to and offered me to stay with her and pick me up at the airport instead of my friends what do I say or do ? shes been very friendly and complimenting me by text but never calls on the phone

  131. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    my ex girl knows im going to be in her city that im flying to and offered me to stay with her and pick me up at the airport instead of my friends what do I say or do ?

    Tell her no thanks you will stay with your friends.

    Follow chapter 6 in the book the Magic of Making up, and set up a short meeting while you’re in her city.

    Follow the strategy outlined in chapter 6 exactly, and move slowly, premature reconciliation (video #4 on my Blog) would be a big mistake.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  132. big daddy says:

    ho do i atch the videos on your blog

  133. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    ho do i atch the videos on your blog

    At the top of my Blog there is a link called: Break up Advice (videos), there are four of them by TW Jackson.

    Maybe someday I will make a video myself.

    Enjoy!

  134. torres says:

    Hey mr williams, its midnight in uk can’t get to sleep so. I thought I’d read all the post on here,
    Anyways want to get your view on my NC, I knw I shud be using the forum but for some reason its not letting me,

    Firstly its been 5 days since no contact on the first day she rang four times didn’t answer her
    Call but made me feel real good after a very long time she was calling me I didn’t care about the reasonb just watching my fone flash was good.
    Since then nothing apart from the txt msg to her cuzin who is my best mate telling him that her mum is ill I gt a blocked number call last nite I picked up someone
    Was on the line but did not speak. I knw you can’t predict on what she is tinking or doing
    But do you reckon she sent that to her cuz to initiate convo and find out info on me (he reckons it could be a possibility).
    The lack of contact from her to me does that suggest she never loved me in the first place.

    Thanks
    Arman

  135. S. Williams says:

    torres wrote:

    I knw I shud be using the forum but for some reason its not letting me,

    Why not?

    You are a registered member, please use our forum, OK?

    torres wrote:

    The lack of contact from her to me does that suggest she never loved me in the first place.

    You are not following the free plan, you do not worry about what your ex is saying or doing…focus on the plan.

    5 fucking days…and you’re ready to quit?

    You have to be serious if you want to get your life/ex back.

    If you’re going to start whining after 5 days, you’re going to fail.

    I gave you a free plan, and free tools, if you want predictions I suggest a Psychic Network.

    Stay Strong,

    S.W.

  136. torres says:

    Hey havnt heard from her since the no contact msg will be two weeks on tuesday
    one of my mates told me even tho I didn’t wanna
    knw that she told him that she was happy with
    the way I was coping and that she has moved
    on and I shud move on. She is so much happier etc
    ..What do I do I am physically looking better my days are better. How do I contact her or shud I wait????

  137. S. Williams says:

    torres wrote:

    Hey havnt heard from her since the no contact msg will be two weeks on tuesday

    2 weeks doesn’t mean shit, you planted a seed, give it time to grow, be patient.

    torres wrote:

    one of my mates told me even tho I didn’t wanna
    knw that she told him that she was happy with
    the way I was coping and that she has moved
    on and I shud move on.

    Your “mate” and your ex could both be full of shit.

    Don’t listen to hearsay, it’s only words.

    torres wrote:

    What do I do I am physically looking better my days are better. How do I contact her or shud I wait????

    Do not contact her, and tell your mate to keep his information to himself.

    Beware your “so-called mates” people like to fuck with other peoples lives like it was their own private TV show.

    You have a plan…follow it.

    You have a goal…work towards it.

    Don’t let words stand in your way…you can do it!

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  138. Melissa says:

    Hey there,

    How are u? Hope ur doin well :)

    My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. It came outta nowhere coz up till that point, the relationship was going pretty good. Then suddenly, he dropped off the radar. i did not hear from him for over a month. I had also left on my vacation at that time. When I got back, he told me that “it just happened” with someone else. Someone that he was starring to get close to prob in Oct but I din ask him ny questions about it coz it just seemed like a friendly thing at the time. So yea. Basically i got dumped. He said that he din know how to tell me and he din wanna hurt me and he din wanna lose me (huh?! wat did he expect???) and basically did not know what to do. I said some things to him and told him to stay away from me. I deleted him off facebook and also deleted his number.

    About 10 days later, I sent the NC letter via facebook. He responded and basically said ok. I did not reply to that. About a week later, which was this past friday, he sends me an sms “how u doin? hope ur fine. Just wanted to check on u.” WAT THE….. I dunno wat to do now and I dunno wat his intentions are.

  139. Melissa says:

    …oops I forgot to mention that we had been together for a little over a year. Thanks!

  140. S. Williams says:

    Melissa wrote:

    About 10 days later, I sent the NC letter via facebook.

    Did you send the recommended NC message from the free plan…word for word?

    Melissa wrote:

    I dunno wat to do now and I dunno wat his intentions are.

    If you sent the proper (effective) NC message, then go ahead and follow all the rest of the steps in the free plan.

    The plan will reveal his “true” intentions.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  141. melissa says:

    Hi S.W,

    Thanks for your reply!

    Yes i sent the exact NC letter from the free plan and i am following the rest of the plan as well.

    Th thing is, I just wanna know why he sent me that message and wat does it mean… I guess I just need some kind of affirmation or something. Any ideas?

    Again thank you so much for your reply! :)

  142. S. Williams says:

    melissa wrote:

    Th thing is, I just wanna know why he sent me that message and wat does it mean… I guess I just need some kind of affirmation or something. Any ideas?

    He was just “testing the waters” to see if you were really serious about the no contact message you sent.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  143. melissa says:

    Thanks S.W! :)

  144. Annie2010 says:

    It’s been 4 days since I sent the nc message. Before I sent it, he was texting often but now nothing. I see him in school and he’s acting cocky and trying to talk to him. I’m polite but don’t get into any long conversations with him. And he does his best to overhear my conversations with other people. I don’t know what to think? And I found out he was sitting with another girl at a basketball game. I know I shouldn’t worry about what he’s doing but I can’t help it. Trying to stay strong! Any ideas why he’s acting so cocky in school around me? That’s not how he usually acts.

  145. S. Williams says:

    Annie2010 wrote:

    Any ideas why he’s acting so cocky in school around me? That’s not how he usually acts.

    Hi Annie,

    He is over compensating for a bruised ego.

    You kicked his ass with the no contact message, let him evolve, and focus on your own personal evolution.

    I know it’s hard, but nothing worth doing is ever really easy…is it?

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

    P.S. Maybe you could find someone else to sit with at the basketball game…maybe another guy?

    Get out there and spread some of that “Annie magic” around. ;)

  146. chris says:

    S.DUBB WASSUP ? IM FEELING GOOD MAN , I PUT NC IN PLACE LAST WEEK FOR THE LASTIME ND STARTED FORCING MYSELF TO BREAK OUT THE ” I DONT HAVE MY GIRLFRIEND SHELL ” , AND AT FIRST IT FELT LIKE HELL , BUT NOW IM STARTING TO GET MY CONFIDENCE ND SWAGGER BACK . TODAY WAS 2/10/2010 AND WHEN ME ND MY EX WERE GING OUT , EVERYBODY KNEW OUR MOTTO WAS ” 21O LIVIN’” , IT WAS CALLED THIS BECAUSE OUR FAVORITE #S WERE 2&1O SO WE JUST PUT IT 2GETHER , EVERY1 LOVED OUR MOTTO . 2/1O IS LIKE A HOLIDAY FOR US , SO THIS MORNIN I SENT HER A TEXT SAYING IMA PUT MY EGO TO THE SIDE AND SAY HAPPY 2/1O TO YOU ND W.E , ENJOY THE RESTYA DAY. . AND HER REPLY WAS HAPPY 2/1O TO YOU 2 BBY , I WAS SURPRISED WHEN SHE SAID BBY BECAUSE DURING THE WEEK B4 I STOPPED CONTACTING HER , SHE WAS VERY HARSH WIT ME AND WAS TRYNA STEP ON ME . SO I TEXTED LOL NOW IM A BBY , AND SHES LIKE YOULL ALWAYS BE MY BBY THE NLY REASON WE DONT TALK IS CAUSE U CANT HANDLE BEING FRIENDS . AND I TEXTED YEAH . & SHES LIKE OKAY SO HAVE A GREAT DAY AND I TEXTED VICE VERSA . I KNOW BECAUSE SHE CALLED ME BBY THAT NC IS WORKING SOME , AND MY PLAN WAS TO NOT GET IN CONTACT AT ALL FOR LIKE ANOTHER MONTH , WE THAT NEW HAIRSTYLE I ALWAYS WANTED ND BY THEN MY NEW SELF SHOULD BE IN FULL EFFECT . DOES THAT SOUND ABOUT RIGHT ? ANY TIPS BOSS MAN ?

  147. S. Williams says:

    chris wrote:

    ANY TIPS BOSS MAN ?

    Yeah, stop contacting her, you’re fucking up NC and the plan.

    She still wants to be friends because she does not take your attempts at no contact seriously at all…I wonder why?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  148. Annie2010 says:

    Thanks Scott. I do believe you are right about my ex over compensating. It’s nice to have a male’s perspective bc some times it’s hard to figure out what you men are thinking. lol
    No school today due to a winter storm. School will be interesting tomorrow bc a really cute guy left a message on my fb. He called me a cutie and asked me what was up. I know my ex is looking at my profile daily. I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes. NC is really not that hard if you keep the end result in mind. Good luck to everyone.

  149. casper says:

    Hi,

    We had broken of about 5 months back and for about 1 month we had no contact.
    And I initiated the contact after 1 month and he agreed to be frnds with me.He was having issues with his job and i stayed through it advising him and all.All of this was happring through chats only.

    After like 3 weeks of that I asked him to have dinner. He agreed but dropped about giving some reason or the other 2 times. And the third time we went for coffee and it was just a 30 mins thing. I could feel the uneasiness wen i came face to face with him. He tried paying for my coffee which i refused and tried his best to show his chivalry which he never used to when we were dating.
    One of the days when i had called him up to chat . He got too rude with me for no reason and yelled out at me saying” i should nt expect anything from him.thats why we arent toghtr. he went on talking and accusing and scolding. I kept silent didnt say a word until he stopped and asked ” say something.. Y are u silent. we always have differnece of opion so blurt it out “. i just said” sometimes silence is the best answer” . he was like “fine” . It just hurts me thaat he treats me like I have done all the wrng when we was the one who lied ot me and cheated me. I am not sure f he is dating his EX who has come to our town now.. she was one of the reasons we broke up.

    After he quit his job ( we used to work in the same office) . we started txting each other. That too was intitated by me. he started responding and it went on for 2 weeks until this monday.
    I dnt knw what got into me and I felt so irritated by how this was progressing.I lashed back though he asked to go to sleep and i would feel better and all. After some more txts he finally blurted out ” i cant be the normal with you becoz of our past. it is going to take time for me to be friends with u… gudnite”

    I replied back saying ” U think i have taken out the past .Both of us are in the sam eplace,same spot,same emotuons, same mixed feelings. we dont even knw wat we want. we dnt even knw y we are talkin to eah ohter.?? i am so confused rite now. I need a break.. gudnite and goodbye”……. He responded saying ” U r rite, we need a break… mayb we shdnt be communicating for a while… take care.. gudbye”

    I responded back saying ” if u get the answers for the Qs (as to why we are interacting with each other) contact me… Goodbye”

    I dont knw if I did the right thing. I dont knw what i need to do next. someone please help me

  150. S. Williams says:

    casper wrote:

    After some more txts he finally blurted out ” i cant be the normal with you becoz of our past. it is going to take time for me to be friends with u… gudnite”

    This is exactly what the free plan, and using NC “correctly” is all about…getting past the old failed relationship.

    Once the past is gone you can be even more than “friends” if you want to, in the meantime stop trying to reconnect, or to stay friends with your ex.

    The BEST way to do that is to use the free plan on my Blog, you will find the link under “Pages” on the upper right hand side.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  151. Gem says:

    Hey scott, people keep saying that if you understand why a break up happened it helps you evole in yourself and helps you move and become a better person but i dont actually no why we have broken up as he never gave me a reason he just said all i need to no is hes happy how he is and he cant help how he feels but he does love me and wants to be with me but he cant see us being happy as its all him even tho we have a child together and he talked about a future with me then week later broke up. i just think he doesnt want the responsbility of a family and hes scared of being commited

  152. S. Williams says:

    Gem wrote:

    i just think he doesnt want the responsbility of a family and hes scared of being commited

    I think you’re right…sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me.

    But at least now, you “DO” know why you broke up, so now you can keep on evolving.

    Your personal evolution is all about discovery, if you find yourself, the rest will follow.

    There is no way you would have to wait to hear from him to move on with your life, you can do it by yourself.

    The secret is once you have your life back, your ex will want to come back too…watch, you’ll see.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  153. big daddy says:

    well tomorrow is the day I meet up with my ex. things got confusing in my head tho, she was calling me honey and told me she went thru all the divorce crap and now someone else is going to get me she acted like she wanted to get back with me but then she said she wanted to stay friends but not be boy and girl friend so I said no to that and we had are words she calls me back said she didnt like the way the conversation went then I said I was glad I knew where she was at and now I can let go because I cant hold on forever and she started crying and said she would call me back

  154. big daddy says:

    well I went out with my ex yesterday and did not adhere to any of the plan I was helpless I just wanted to stay with her. we went to lunch and had a great time, she was very emotional and crying, she didnt want to leave either she said she wanted to stay friends, so i said that if she felt she could love me again I would stay friends, she didnt answer to that and got teary so I didnt push it, then she wanted to go for a drink, so I went, she said I sucked I told her I missewd her and she told me she missed me, she grabbed my hands and held them and was once again very emotional she was hugging me and crying on my shoulder, then I brought her home and she asked me ion to see her dog I went in and we were all over each other then sex and she told me nobody can make her feel the way i do repeatedly then I was leaving and I asked once again can you love me again with once again no answer. I talked to her today and she said shes just numb and in a funk.

    if you are numb she didnt act it

    scott please instruct me on this one I promise I will follow the plan now if thats where im at

  155. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    scott please instruct me on this one I promise I will follow the plan now if thats where im at

    Hi BD,

    I have been trying to instruct you, but you’re not ready to follow the plan…are you ready now?

    If so, go start from the beginning of the free plan…like it was day one and you didn’t do anything wrong.

    Then just send the recommended NC message word for word, and follow the rest of the steps.

    Someone has to be strong in this situation, and it looks like that part falls on you…can you handle it?

    You’re going to have to kick her ass to wake her up, and then leave her alone, and start your own personal evolution.

    This is all about you and getting your life back, not getting her back, the sooner you realize that, the faster you will progress.

    The break up world is like Bizarre-o World…nothing works the same as it does in the real world…trust me on that, OK?

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  156. big daddy says:

    I thought i was ready im in great shape but i lifted weights my whole life my job is good I just seen her and realized how much I really do love her

    you say its not to get my ex back but my life back and your blog is called how to get your ex back fast ?

  157. S. Williams says:

    big daddy wrote:

    you say its not to get my ex back but my life back and your blog is called how to get your ex back fast ?

    That is because the fastest way to get your ex back, is to get your life back first.

    Plus, no one searches for how to get your life back after a break up…why?

    Because they believe that they have to get their ex back to get their life back, and be happy again.

    That is not at all true, and there is where the problems lies.

    If you follow the plan, and get your life back…your ex will come running.

    I have seen it happen…it works.

    I would not spend the time I do on my Blog, and in our forum if I didn’t believe this plan worked.

    big daddy wrote:

    I thought i was ready im in great shape but i lifted weights my whole life

    Staying in good physical shape is hard work, but nothing compared to getting into emotional shape, and that is what the free plan, and your personal evolution is all about.

    If you want to kick loves ass, you have to be strong as hell emotionally, not physically.

    There is a method to my madness.

    The free plan is there when you’re ready to follow it.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  158. big daddy says:

    Very well said scott thank you for that break down, but this girl has made me mentally broken down and it seems im way better off in no contact.

    great blog you are good

  159. torres says:

    Mr Williams it will be three weeks of no contact on
    Tommorow I find myself talking less about her and thinking far less about her.
    At times tho when I do thunk about hher it brings me totally down
    I’m in great physical and mental state at the month
    Well majority of the time. Had no contact from her
    Yet nt sure if I should make contact I feel mentally ready
    What’s the next step boss man or do I give it more time of no contact????

    I look forward to your response sir??

  160. S. Williams says:

    torres wrote:

    Mr Williams it will be three weeks of no contact on
    Tommorow

    torres wrote:

    Yet nt sure if I should make contact I feel mentally ready
    What’s the next step boss man or do I give it more time of no contact????

    3 weeks is NOT enough time…aim for more like 3 months, and see how you feel by then.

    There is no rush, don’t kid yourself about being ready, even a simple cut takes a couple weeks to fully heal.

    A broken heart takes a lot more time to heal, understand?

    Just focus on your personal evolution, and have fun, OK?

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  161. torres says:

    I think this length of time of no contact confirms
    she did not really love me
    I was being so stupid thinking she loved me, she didn’t and that’s that.

    Apologies for putting this down here it just hit me.

  162. LIVESTRONG says:

    TOO ALL MY FELLOW PEOPLE THAT ARE TRYIN TO GET YOUR EX BACK ,IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GET THEM BACK FOLLOW S.DUBBS ADVICE AND GET YOUR LIFE BACK FIRST. YOU WERE ONCE “THE SHIT” B4 U MET YOUR EX AND YOU CAN BE “THE SHIT” WITHOUT YOUR EX , GET YOUR LIFE AND SMILE BACK AND WHENEVER U CHILL WITCHA EX SHE’LL BE MORE ATTRACTED AND YOULL HAVE A WAY BETTER CHANCE ! ITS HARD AS FUCK TO GET BACK ON YOUR SHIT BUT STICK IN THERE AND FIND YOUR TRUE SELF AGAIN !!!!! YOO S-DUBB , IF A GIRL THATS MY EX’S BESTIE HITS ME UP AND WERE TEXTING AND W.E AND STARTS ASKING QUESTIONS LIKE HOW THE SINGLE LIFE AND DO YOU HAVE ANY NEW GIRLS OR W.E HOW SHOULD I ANSWER OR RESPOND TO ALL THAT ?

  163. S. Williams says:

    LIVESTRONG wrote:

    IF A GIRL THATS MY EX’S BESTIE HITS ME UP AND WERE TEXTING AND W.E AND STARTS ASKING QUESTIONS LIKE HOW THE SINGLE LIFE AND DO YOU HAVE ANY NEW GIRLS OR W.E HOW SHOULD I ANSWER OR RESPOND TO ALL THAT ?

    Very carefully…she’s fishing for information to feed your ex.

    I would tell her I don’t feel like talking about that, and change the subject…but don’t ask about your ex either, understand.

    Keep both them chicks in the dark, where they belong. :toetap:

    If she starts feeding you (probably misinformation) updates about what your ex is doing or saying, do the same thing, change the subject.

    Women like to fuck around in other women’s business :roll: (it’s like a hobby), let her practice her hobby somewhere else, OK?

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  164. ZENIA says:

    SCOT!!!

    ITS WORKING!!!!!

    HE CONTACTED ME…TODAY!!

    AFTER 40 DAYS OF NC!!!!

    HE PINGED ME AT YAHOO MESSENGER WHICH I IGNORED AND AGAIN HE PINGED ME THERE WHICH I AGAIN IGNORED.

    HE 1CE AGAIN PINGED ME WHICH I ANSWERED SAYING I WAS BUSY.

    AND THEN HE SPOKE…IO TOO RESPONDED AND IT WAS ALL GNRALL STUFFS.

    CRICKET, WORK, FAMILY AND WATS HAPPENING SORT OFS.

    THEN HE TRIED TALKING ABOUT THE ” i need to take some imp decisions and pls dont contact me/…”.

    i said ya i am still taking those decisions. he didnt ask wat.

    THEN HE IS LIKE… SORRY U ASKED ME NOT TO BUT THEN I CUDNT RESIST PINGING U HERE IN YM AS I HEARD ABOUT THE MUMBAI BLASTS. WAS WORRIED U ARE SAFE OR NOT.

    (scott, hope u all know the act of terrorisms going on in india by the pakistani terrorists. and there was a blast here last week with 13 casualties so far.)

    so then i said i am all fyn. need not worry.

    HE KEPT ON ASKING…”HOW ARE U?? ARE U FYN?? HOW HAVE U BEEN??”

    I SAID I AM VER BUSY AND REALLY FYN.

    I ACTED NON CHALANT BLV ME. DIDNT ASK ANYTHING IN RETURN BUT HER KEPT ON STRETCHING THE CONVO.

    THEN I SAID I GOTTA GO AS I HAVE MY PAPER TOMORROW. HE SAID SURE I WISH U ALL THE BEST AND I WILL CALL U B4 UR PAPER TOMORROW.

    PPHHHEEWWWW!!!!

    SCOTT…IS IT WORKING??

    i mean i know i shudnt get carried away…
    and i am not!

    tell me scott. what next should i do??
    how should i behave and all??

    these all came very unexpected but ya, I HAVE SO FAR MAINTAINED THE NO CONTACT VERY SINCERELY.

  165. S. Williams says:

    ZENIA wrote:

    how should i behave and all??

    It is all laid out in the free plan, read it, and follow the instructions.

    Great Job Zenia! :thumbup:

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  166. LIVESTRONG says:

    S Dubb , Today is 2/22/2O1O . . in the relationship i was in the days 2/10 , 2/2 , 10/2 , and 2/22 were considered holidays for us since we loved the #s 2 and 10 so much . Last time i spoke to her was on 2/10 and i said happy 21O , and she said happy 2/1O too u 2 baby , and she didnt call me baby in awhile , prior to that i didnt contact her for about a week b4 i wrote her on 2/10 . Now the thing about it is the same day i wrote her , she wrote me back at after wished each other a happy 2/1o , she wrote me later that night saying “yooo” like she had to tell me something , and i simply texted “yes” than she was like nevermind sorry i even wrote u i apologize for writing u , and i texted “okay” and she said “okay” . I was the one that dumped her tho , and i made needy mistakes pleading and begging before i cut off contact . Is it safe to text her to wish her a happy triple 2 day ?

  167. S. Williams says:

    LIVESTRONG wrote:

    Is it safe to text her to wish her a happy triple 2 day ?

    Sure, why not?

    It doesn’t seem like you are following any sort of plan anyways. 8)

    You’re definitely not following any of my advice or the NC strategy.

    I am not exactly sure why you even visit my Blog? :roll:

    Good Luck!

    S.W.

  168. LIVESTRONG says:

    YOUR ABSOLUETLY RIGHT , JUST BY READING THE MESSAGE I WROTE U , IT MADE ME FEEL DUMB. I’VE BEEN STRONG FOR 12 DAYS AND I KNOW I CAN KEEP GOING , I GUESS ITS CAUSE OF THE DAY . . IT GOT ME GOING CRAZY INSIDE. IMA STAY STRONG AND CONTINUE WORKING ON MYSELF BEFORE I WANT TO WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIP.

  169. S. Williams says:

    LIVESTRONG wrote:

    IMA STAY STRONG AND CONTINUE WORKING ON MYSELF BEFORE I WANT TO WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIP.

    Wise Choice! :thumbup:

  170. Anna says:

    I have been on this for a while now and I keep screwing this up. I have now had to send a 4th NC message plus I spent the whole weekend out at his parents place with him and his new gf. It was akward for me but im sure it was for him and especially her. He told me he didnt care if i still hung out with his family and his family has told me numerous times that I can still see them. I just feel that this weekend has most definatly ended my chances with him. He was all over her the whole weekend and regardless of his whole family hopeing we get back together I am going to have to do a whole lot of self evolving and ex avoiding. No pain no gain, but i really think to him it doesnt matter that i dont want to have contact with him. He has messaged me a few times through out my last 3 but I think its just to rub something in my face. I still dont know why I still like him, I guess im just determined to get what I want. at the same time Im what is stopping me from achieving that. How many times does one send this before it no longer effects the other party.

  171. Big Daddy says:

    Im in no contact after seeing her last weekend after 4 months, she was very emotional and holding my hands crying then great sex at her place then she texts me the next day saying she just wants to be friends but crying as she says it ? so i sent no contact know shes calling and texting like crazy wtf do i do ???

  172. S. Williams says:

    Big Daddy wrote:

    so i sent no contact know shes calling and texting like crazy wtf do i do ???

    Keep following the steps in the free plan, there is a lot more to do after you send the NC message.

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  173. S. Williams says:

    Anna wrote:

    How many times does one send this before it no longer effects the other party.

    I have no idea…why?

    Because everyone who hasn’t given up, has succeeded.

    You learned a valuable lesson, start over and get it right this time, stay the fuck away from him and his family…it is for your own good.

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  174. Big Daddy says:

    but I done it all in the 4 months that I havent seen her and we just had are first date what was with all of that emotion and shit

  175. Big Daddy says:

    your saying everyone who has stayed strong has got there ex back ?

  176. S. Williams says:

    Big Daddy wrote:

    but I done it all in the 4 months that I havent seen her

    You obviously did not do it correctly or you wouldn’t be in the position you’re in right now.

    Read the free plan, and follow all the steps.

    Big Daddy wrote:

    your saying everyone who has stayed strong has got there ex back ?

    First they got their life back, and then they got their ex back.

    About 40% of them decided they didn’t want their ex back, even though now their ex is begging them to come back.

    All these stories are on my Blog, and in our forum.

  177. Big Daddy says:

    wow thats very comforting to hear I didnt read them storys in the blog.

    Yes when we met I told her i loved her what a softy

  178. S. Williams says:

    Big Daddy wrote:

    wow thats very comforting to hear I didnt read them storys in the blog.

    They are posted in the Relationship Rescue Success Stories forum, and under Real Life Testimonials (at the top) on my Blog.

  179. Big Daddy says:

    why would she want to be friends ?

    she sent me this last night ,

    Hey!

    I just wanted say congratulations!!! I think you’ve worked really hard for this and it will pay off. I hope it all went ok. I want to call and see how you are but I don’t know if you want the call. I just wanted drop a quick note and say hi and congrats and I’m really happy for you.

    Well, have a great night or morning and I’ll talk to you when you want.

    Love
    *****

    And she texted me to tell me she sent it

  180. S. Williams says:

    Big Daddy wrote:

    why would she want to be friends ?

    To keep you on a leash, and to get laid when she is feeling down, and then kick your ass to the curb after you boost her ego.

    You have a choice, friends with benefits, or a relationship, or nothing at all.

    Just follow the plan, and fucking ignore her for crying out loud.

    Can’t you tell when you’re being “played”?

    I have given you all the advice you need, follow it, or find somewhere else to ask all your questions, OK?

    This shit is getting real old. 8)

  181. ZENIA says:

    Hey Scott :wave:

    just 2 comments back here, i wrote that he contacted me twice ..via yahoo messenger though and he was all sweet and cordial and curious about wassup with me ( and also whether i am dating and all). its been 4 days after that but neither have i contact him nor did he after that.
    i mean i thot he would call or somthing…not just ping me whenever i get online in yahoo. :evil:

    should i wait for him to call or contact me again or should i do it?

    i went through the “free plan” many times and have grabbed up what all in there but didnt get the answer to this querry so thot to ask u here.

    looking forward for ur furthur guidance as so far i have followed your advice in each and every step i took.

    P.S. i have so far been successfully able to maintain the NC, initiating it weith the reccomended NC msg, since 45 days now. :thumbup:

  182. S. Williams says:

    ZENIA wrote:

    he contacted me twice ..via yahoo messenger

    Hi,

    If you were as dedicated to following directions, and sticking to NC as you were to bugging me to answer questions you would be much better off.

    Did you respond to his contact?

    If you did you broke no contact, and much too soon, it takes 60-90 days at least (if not much longer in some cases) to get your life back as a single person.

    This is THE MOST IMPORTANT GOAL, not when can I reconnect with my ex, understand?

    If you have broken contact you need to start all over again, and send the recommended NC message (word for word).

    ZENIA wrote:

    i went through the “free plan” many times and have grabbed up what all in there but didnt get the answer to this querry so thot to ask u here.

    What about the forum…have you bothered to read the forum?

    Have you even joined the forum?

    After reading the free plan “many times”, did you catch the part about using the forum for support?

    Obviously not or you would have helped yourself instead of whining to me for help…this is a FREE self-help system, start helping yourself.

    If you had bothered to read the forum, you would have noticed I answered this stupid question many times.

    But I have to answer it yet again, because some people are too fucking lazy to help themselves, and like to waste other people’s time…it’s all about them. :banghead:

    Do you know why there is nothing to cover this question in the free plan?

    Because there is no answer to it.

    You’re supposed to continue your personal evolution (as stated in the free plan) until you feel ready to contact your ex.

    If you had followed the directions in the free plan, and joined the forum, and read the others NC diaries you would know this.

    You start NC, you decide when to break NC and start the reconnection phase.

    If the reconnection fails, you start over and stick to NC longer this time, until you either move on, or reconnect with your ex…simple enough?

    How is another person outside of your relationship supposed to know when you are ready?

    Judging by all your panicky questions, you are far from ready for reconnection anyways.

    45 days is not enough time to personally evolve.

    If you broke NC, start over.

    If you didn’t, continue to stay in NC for another couple months until you don’t have to ask me anymore questions like this, and you feel ready to reconnect.

    All this information is freely available in the free plan, and all over our forum.

    More reading, and following instructions, less panicky questions, and you will evolve much faster.

    Only insecure people break NC too early (and ask questions like this), and if you’re insecure, then you have not personally evolved past your old relationship.

    Stick to NC, learn to help yourself, and stop bugging me, OK?

    This is the last question I am going to answer, you have used up your allotment. :wave:

    I supply people with the FREE TOOLS to TEACH THEMSELVES “how to kick loves ass”, I don’t do it for them, understand? 8)

    I am only one man, trying to help many people…give me a fucking break.

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  183. Sandy says:

    Hi Scott,

    Ok, so I was worried when you said in one response of my last posts (a couple of weeks ago) that it sounded like I might be slipping into the friends zone. I had applied NC and my ex contacted me after 30 days, we had coffee and he asked if he could borrow a book. He said ‘see you soon’ and didn’t make any further plans.

    In an attempt to remedy any potential for him to put in the friend category, the following week I politely distanced myself from him (we work in similar locations and bump into each other a lot), and let him initiate greetings etc. The week after that he contacted me asking for the book again, which is a ruse for something as he can easily get from the library or bookstore (it’s not a rare item). We had a brief chat and my friends noticed he kept looking over at me when I wasn’t looking at him afterwards. I still haven’t given him the book, and he suggested we meet for coffee again this week.

    Does this progress sound promising? I’m not initiating any contact, and not showing as much general interest in him, as he is in me.

    Do you have any suggestions for our next coffee meeting? I feel this is painfully slow, but that’s how it should be, right?

    Thanks.

  184. Sandy says:

    Oh and should I be interpreting these coffee meetings as dates? Opinion seems to be divided on this point. I obviously would like them to be, but I probably shouldn’t delude myself!

  185. S. Williams says:

    Sandy wrote:

    I had applied NC and my ex contacted me after 30 days

    Did you follow the free plan on my Blog, and send the recommended NC message word for word?

    If not you did not use NC correctly.

    Also 30 days is NEVER enough time to put the old failed relationship behind you, and make room for a new one.

    Sandy wrote:

    Do you have any suggestions for our next coffee meeting?

    I think he is just trying to get into your pants.

    He can tell you still want him, and he is going to use it to his advantage.

    Once he “gets” what he wants you will be on the “lets be friends” shelf.

    Sandy wrote:

    I feel this is painfully slow

    Actually you are moving way too fast (only 30 days NC) and you will get laid out of this, but that’s it.

    If all you want is friends with benefits, keep playing the “I got your book game”, and good luck.

    If you want the best results, re-initiate NC correctly (as outlined in the free plan), and follow the free plan correctly.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  186. Shaan says:

    Hey. What do you do if your ex broke up with you and then you havn’t heard from them since. Not even valentines day. I have concentrated on me for a month and then sent the NC letter. But i have not heard anything back. It’s been a week after the 1 month. Really worried that he ain’t coming back. I wish i could show him this confident new me!

  187. S. Williams says:

    Shaan wrote:

    I have concentrated on me for a month and then sent the NC letter.

    Are you following the free plan on my Blog?

    If so, keep following all the rest of the steps, and continue to focus on your personal evolution.

    This process can take 3-6 months or more, and if you’re serious about getting your ex back, you will stick to the plan, right?

    If you have not followed the free plan, then read it now, and send the recommended NC message (word for word) as outlined in the free plan, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  188. Shaan says:

    Hey there. I sent this message after the 1 month. I had already paid for the ex recovery system before i saw ur site so i had sent this. Should i just break all contact again now? What do you think?
    Hi x,

    I know things have not been too great between us. I would like to apologise for the way it all turned out.

    I hope you are doing well;) you’ve always been very strong, something i’ve always admired (inspite of your stubborn Torro side) so I know you’ll be just fine. But I am moving on with my life.

    There has been a whirlwind of things happening lately and it’s pretty crazy. All good fun!

    Maybe we can catch up in the future. For now, though, I think you need your space. Call me if you would like to chat.

    Take Care of yourself
    Be happy

  189. Shaan says:

    ps we were together for 6 years off and on..mostly on!

  190. S. Williams says:

    Shaan wrote:

    What do you think?

    I have already told you what I think.

    Read my fucking reply, OK? :banghead:

  191. Shaan says:

    i did lol! but what i’m confused about is do i send your no contact letter as well now or do i just leave it?

  192. Shaan says:

    HELP!!!!

  193. liveSTRONG says:

    S.DUBB WHAT’S UP MAN , IM NOT HERE TO WHINE OR COMPLAIN BECAUSE I KNOW THATS NOT GONNA DO ME ANY GOOD . I PUT NC INTO PLACE FOR THE LAST TIME 8 DAYS AGO , I BEEN GETTING MYSELF BACK. YESTERDAY I WAS WITH MY CUSINS AND I PICKED UP TO HOT BABES AND TALKED THEM INTO GIVING US ORAL SEX AND REGULAR SEX ONLY A COUPLE MINS AFTER MEETING THEM. I HAVE BEEN READING SOME SELF HELP BOOKS , ND BOOKS ON WHAT GIRLS ADMIRE ABOUT REAL MEN . IM NOT GONNA LIE THO , THE AMOUNT OF SUCCESS IM HAVING WITH GIRLS NOW IS IN THE POWER OF MY HANDS BUT SOME DAYS I JUST FEEL DOWN FOR NO REASON , ITS LIKE SOME DAYS IM EXTREMELY CONFIDENT AND SOME DAYS ITS JUST LIKE UGHH WHERE’S MY REAL GIRL. SIGH . IMA STICK THRU THIS UNTIL I GET MYSELF BACK COMPLETLY , AND PUT EVERYTHING IM LEARNING INTO PLACE WITH MY EX. JUST KEEPIN U UPDATED, ANY TIPS WOULD BE HIGHLY APPRECIATED . LIVESTRONG

  194. S. Williams says:

    liveSTRONG wrote:

    JUST KEEPIN U UPDATED, ANY TIPS WOULD BE HIGHLY APPRECIATED

    Dating isn’t a bad thing, but if you whore around too much your ex might not want you back.

    Just live life, and let time pass so the old failed relationship can die and fade away.

    Then you can use chapter 6 in the book MOMU, and start the reconnection phase.

    As long as you leave your ex alone, and stick to the plan you should be alright.

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  195. Big Daddy says:

    she sent me this then met me and took me home and had me spend the night with her. I am totally confused what am I dealing with here ? plus shes says her family hates me now.

    Big Daddy
    When all this happened between us I was beside myself. I had so much anger and hurt inside of me that something switched off. I mean completely switched off. You witnessed it yourself when you saw the “lightswitch” turn off. I turned every ounce of faith, trust or hope in relationships off.

    You know my history with men and you were subconsciously my last hope and everything lie you told I kept holding on because I loved you more than anyone I ever have loved. But I broke, it was the last I could handle and when it went down the way it did and I felt so hurt that it did something to me emotionally. I have never experienced this before and I can’t stand it but I can’t change it.

    I imagine myself with you and I like it, but there’s this other side to me, that emotionally disconnected side that has overpowered everything. So here I am just as confused as you.

    So I go back and forth in my head on what to do. I know that if I let you let me go I will probably be making a mistake. But I also know that if I let you think we can be together, you won’t see the same Nadia you used to know. I have changed and there’s nothing I can do about it. All I want to do is be alone. Sometimes I just don’t answer my phone to ANYONE for days. I don’t like to go out, I don’t like to be around people or get to close to anyone and my tolerance for anything I don’t like has completely diminished.

    When this all went down, I tried to go out and have a good time and forget about you but it got old and it didn’t even work. I’ve met other guys but there is not one person that has even come close to touching my heart like you did. YES, I did let you go but only partially because when I tried to move on the only one I thought about was you and no one compared to how you make me feel.

    So should you let go and move on? I don’t know? I know that I can’t dive into what we were. I know that I have no interest in being with anyone because of this severe block that I have inside of me. I in no way want to tell you to wait for me because I don’t know how long it will be until I’m ready for what you need. Is it fair of me to say wait for me? NO, it’s not and I would never ask it of you. Am I dreading telling

    When we met up the other night, it was almost like we picked up where we left off (the good part). I felt the same passion, chemistry, and love that I fell for you with. I know how hard you’ve worked to get your shit strait. It’s so obvious and I am so proud of you. I mean literally everyone knows how I still feel about you.

    What scares me is that I have this inside me, this block, this emptiness and as hard as it is to admit, coldness and because I have seen how capable I am to turn on and off like a switch, I could do it again. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know how much time I can spend with a single person. God John, imagine if I did it again? Just turn off like that for whatever reason, and put us, or you through what I did before ALL over again? I’m so so scared. I’m scared of myself. Presently my cold, empty distant self has taken over and I can’t change it. And I can’t drag you along with me, you mean too much to me but I want to but that’s me being selfish expecting you to wait, expecting you to give me my space, expecting everything to be in my terms and how can I expect that of you?

    I never have or never will play with your heart. I’m battling two seriously strong elements and I feel sick on a daily basis. When I talk to you or when I was with you I have that love and yearning for you, that’s why I’ve been selfish and telling you SLOW slow slow because it’s me trying to have faith in a possible future, but how long will it take to get back to normal? Can I get back to normal? I don’t know? And that’s when it kills me to say to you to move on but I feel like I have to because I can’t drag you my fucked up psychological problems.

    Take it how you want but this is everything that is going through my head. And please know John that before I saw you last weekend I wasn’t “seeing” anyone anymore. I have been alone and will be alone for a VERY long, long time.

    Guess that’s it and I’m sorry I really can’t help it.

  196. S. Williams says:

    Big Daddy wrote:

    Guess that’s it and I’m sorry I really can’t help it.

    Sounds like she could use a Psychiatrist, not a boyfriend.

    You are not following any of my advice, why do you even bother to post on my Blog? 8)

    I think you need the kind of help, and advice that I can not offer on my Blog.

    Sorry man, but I can not help you. :wave:

    Good Luck!

    S.W.

  197. Big Daddy says:

    Scott I love your advice and I am adjusting the no contact letter and sending off tonight. I was fine until she reconnected with me just to torture me again,Now I have to go thru it all over again I ndidnt think it would be this hard the second time around

  198. S. Williams says:

    Big Daddy wrote:

    I am adjusting the no contact letter and sending off tonight.

    It is better if you “don’t” adjust the NC message.

    This chick needs to be left alone until she stops feeling sorry for herself, and stops dragging other people into her “self sustained” nightmare.

    We “all” have problems to deal with, myself included, but crying about them never seems to work.

    You have to suck it up, and kick some ass “figuratively, not literally”. :kickbutt:

    That is how I am dealing with my problems, and it is working, that is why I recommend that other people do the same.

    You can’t win if you don’t fight back, even Gandhi (a man of peace) did it with civil disobedience.

    The free plan is about fighting back, and regaining your life again, untangle yourself from other peoples problems, and deal with your own.

    Get your life back, and then make the decision of what to do next with this relationship.

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  199. Big Daddy says:

    thank you so much scott I find myself very much in love with this girl and am going to have a very hard time with this but you are so rite If were meant to be we will be I will send the message unchanged

  200. S. Williams says:

    Big Daddy wrote:

    I will send the message unchanged

    Great Job BD! :thumbup:

  201. marie says:

    my boyfriend and i broke up over a month ago. it was mutual, and ended on a good note. there was just too much going on for the both of us to make it work at that time. i was doing all the wrong things the first couple of weeks, until i found the website for the book “the magic of making up.” and then i found scott and this blog! i come to this blog and refer back to the book OFTEN just to review and make sure that i’m doing everything okay, AND for some support! i sent the NC message a few weeks after we had broken up. it was HARD, but i was taking that time to work on the things that i had been neglecting. i really let myself get too comfortable, and my anxieties were taking over my happiness, and i’d take all of my frustrations out on my ex JUST because i was mad at myself. after three weeks went by, he called me. i did not respond until i felt comfortable enough. we spoke briefly, and my attitude was upbeat and aloof, and i wasn’t even faking it! i’ve lost weight, joined a zumba class, and i basically do anything that i get the chance to do just to get myself out there. he contacted me again about a week later, but through text. i did not respond right away, i was busy. i waited about an hour and told him i had so much going on, and asked if i could call him later, and he was all about it! i waited almost 2 days and gave him a call. his phone kept cutting out, but he continued calling me back, and then proceeded to try and text me afterwards and i told him i had to get going and we’d speak later. just yesterday morning we spoke again, and he said that he misses me and my family. i told him that this time apart has been difficult, but the best thing for me. he said that we’ll see how things work out for us, and that he’s taking this time to himself, too. i told him that’s perfectly fine and what i want right now. throughout the day he proceeded to text me again and again and again.

    i really want to be ready when we do get back together. i don’t want to fall back into the same routine as before, so i’m making sure that i am strong the next time around, and that i work on everything i have to work on, not just for the relationship’s sake, but for my own sake. the break up was hard, but it was also the best thing that could have happened to me. i’ve been doing so well. i honestly believe that everything happens for a reason, and i have so much hope for the future. thank you so much :)

  202. Marie says:

    That is so hopeful, I have accidentally been doing the things suggested in the plan. However I have had moments where I have had contact with him and it was okay, but I like the strength the NC gives me and I do have much to work on. I think my ex is a good guy, that is why I would even consider having him back.Thanks for the boost.

  203. Anna says:

    So it has been 2 and a half weeks, 4th time with NC. This time around has been completly different but in a good way. I have started to actually go out and have a good time and not just a fake good time but actually a good time. Everyone has noticed a change in me and its great because I cant pin point what has happened to me I just know it feels great. Most people tell me its because I am better off without him and have told me he was dragging me down.

    Anyways,I have been on like 2 dates and the more I talk to other guys the more it makes me miss him because every guy seems to be not what im looking for, probably because i keep trying to find him in another guy, it sucks.

    I still have hope that he loves me and that somewhere deep down inside he knows that he isnt supposed to be with his new gf, but i think im just dilusional. I am no longer heartbroken and im enjoyin my life, I just wish he was around to tell all the great things that are happening.

    I have no idea how he is feeling about all of this and it is bothering me. I havent had any real contact with his family. I think I am starting not to care whether or not he comes back. Its hard but at the same time not. I dont think i will have gave him enough time to figure everything out in the following 2 and a half weeks, but im kinda excited to actually talk to him and not just know whats happening from what people tell me. How am i going to know if i dont stick to this. You site is great and I thank you. I think I would have eventually got to where i am but most certainly not as quick. I find I no longer need to blog every day on the forum now to feel alright with the decision. I secretly hope there is still something there, but im almost to the point of being alright if there isnt.

  204. Albert says:

    Hy again, well my question is if my ex really miss me, because i know she is outgoing with “friends” so I dont have any contact with her and she too no have contact with me, if I leave a flower in her house what do you think happens with that, thanx.

  205. Albert says:

    and she dont want to know anything about me, she told me that star a new relationship with anyone else but with her no, so what its the meaning of this words? did she really want me out of his life? thanx

  206. S. Williams says:

    Albert wrote:

    she told me that star a new relationship with anyone else but with her no, so what its the meaning of this words?

    It sounds like she is NOT interested in you.

    But!

    You can use the free plan on the right-hand side of my Blog to find out if she really means it, or not.

    In any case, the free plan will help you get your life back.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  207. Albert says:

    ok thanx so if she is not interested in me, so there`s no chance to bring her back?

  208. S. Williams says:

    Albert wrote:

    ok thanx so if she is not interested in me, so there`s no chance to bring her back?

    Read my whole reply…

    You can use the free plan to find out her true feelings for you.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  209. Kirby25231 says:

    S. Williams wrote:

    Actually 4-5 months is about average for most of the successful reconnections I have seen in our forum.

    So what would you say the average length of the relationship would be with a successful reconnection? Do short or long relationships see better success with reconnections? I ask because my relationship was pretty short at about 3-4 months.

  210. S. Williams says:

    Kirby25231 wrote:

    Do short or long relationships see better success with reconnections? I ask because my relationship was pretty short at about 3-4 months.

    Hi,

    The length of the relationship doesn’t matter as much as the strength of the love.

    I don’t pay much attention to that characteristic (length of the relationship) because I don’t think it really matters, the strength of the bond matters more.

    And only you can answer that question.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  211. sam says:

    i broke up with my ex of 2years. after 3weeks he started dating another girl who was always following him around. It’s been months since i saw him. I initaited the NC times. The 1st time it lasted like 1month. The nd NC is like 4months now. Recently he IM-ed me (i deleted him from my IM not knowing that i should have blocked him then and only then he wont be able to see me online.)asking me how i was and what i was doing. I just gave short answers. Then the other day was my birthday. he texted me wishing me a happy birthday. i didnt know it was him as i have deleted his number. so i asked who it was. and he replied “…nevermind then” then i said okie. he replied again “its me *he used the pet name i always called him* ” What’s up with this. I’m very confused right now. i really don’t know how to react or think or do.. can you give me some insight please. I have been following the book and moving on my life very well i must say. Yes i still want him back. I don’t know what to do.

  212. anna says:

    Ok, so we’ve been on the no contact and broken up over a year. We started contact again in the way of sharing the dog. I started this when I knew I could handle seeing him and not caring one way or the other what happens. Well, at first he wantd to hug me and would have tears in his eyes and say it’s good to see me. I have kept my cool and not gotten emotional and don’t think I’m sending any signals. So this has been for about 4 months. The other day he shared a song with me that basically describes him thinking of me, missing my voice and the chorus goes “if only to say to you now I still love you and always will, if only to say to myself I will always love you, so go easy on yourself” it threw me but I just replied thank you and hope your having fun with the dog. I don’t know what to do when I see him next when he brings our dog back. Did I mess up by replying? Should I bring up the song, or ignore it and act like he never sent it? I don’t know what he is trying to tell me by sending it-help! What do I do?

  213. S. Williams says:

    sam wrote:

    What’s up with this. I’m very confused right now. i really don’t know how to react or think or do.. can you give me some insight please. I have been following the book and moving on my life very well i must say. Yes i still want him back. I don’t know what to do.

    Hi,

    Read the free plan on my Blog, and send the recommended NC message.

    The book (which ever one you own) is good, but the free plan kicks ass.

    Your ex knows what he is doing, he is trying to get you to break NC…mission accomplished.

    Now he knows you are still on the hook, and he can get you if he wanted to…that reassures him, and he will not feel there is any rush to come back.

    NC only works when you use it correctly, which means no contact.

    *Hint – unknown texts should go unanswered until the person reveals them self, unknown calls go to voice mail…etc.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  214. S. Williams says:

    anna wrote:

    Should I bring up the song, or ignore it and act like he never sent it? I don’t know what he is trying to tell me by sending it-help! What do I do?

    Hi,

    I would highly recommend that you start NC over again, and send the recommended NC message in the free plan (no changes)…why?

    He is starting to realize he misses you, but if you cave now it will end up in premature reconciliation (see video #4 in the break up help videos)…you must take things slow.

    In-order to regain control over “mister weepy”, you need to kick his ass again with NC.

    Don’t fall for this act, keep your control, and you will get what you truly deserve, and that is NOT premature reconciliation.

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  215. dee says:

    hi scott, ive been reading all your answers to some people here,and it really helps me deal my own. you see, i dont know about this whole no contact thing until i started to read a whole lot of time just to avoid checking my facebook. my ex bf broke up with me during my birthday last march 30, prior to that we been fighting a lot. we had an on and off relationship for close to 4 years, and all the time, i was the one trying to fix things with him. to the point of making my self so low, begging and pleading, not even my fault, but i love him so much and i dont want to end things with him. just before he broke up with me i saw a pic of other girl on his mobile and he denied it that it was his brother. i dont believe him.we end up fighting and him trying to break up with me if i dont believ him. i was so hurt but i have to stop fighting him. and starting there, i continuoud doubting him, and i dont like the feeling, he became distant with me and lastly, we fought badly i was so quiet and crying and he was shouting ”regretted having a relationship with, you made my life hell, i dont deserve it.” i was so hurt, for almost 4 years i have done lots of things for him. being there for him and he even telling me thank you for helping him alot and caring for him. finding a job for him and lifting him when his down. why he is telling me this now? i am blinded by everything.

    he wanted space and that day, i told him yes, but i am scared of the space, and i still want to communicate with him and just replied, ok be strong and dont suffer. but how can i?
    i continued texting him but he is not replying. i was so hurt and so in pain, and kept my self alone and decided to write him a letter lettin him go, and giving him what he wants, his freedom since he wanted that over and over again. it really hurts me, i sent it to him, and then started not to call him and text him and email after that.

    its been close to 1 month now he is not contacting me. my friends help me alot, and i dont want to talk to him too. but i am hurting… i started to live my life now, but i am hating my birthday now. so much that it hurts me, same time with my special day he broke up with me…

    please i just want your help…am i doing the right thing?

  216. dee says:

    and for the facebook, he deactivated his facebook last december, thats the reason also we fought that time, i saw he got other account, where he added his other ex gf,and still communicating with her. i was so hurt, he didnt tell me that. so broke up with me that time, but back again, when i came to him to fix things. since then we fought alot, until this happened.

    and last time, while i was checking all my friends list, i saw his name, he activated his facebook and we remain friends, i deleted him right away, i dont want him to know all my updates and whats happening to me, i dont want him to see my photo.

    have i done the right thing? and i am trying to stop my self now checking his facebook since one of my friends is his friends. i changed the privacy of my profile so he cant see me.

  217. dee says:

    thank you for taking time to read

  218. S. Williams says:

    dee wrote:

    have i done the right thing? and i am trying to stop my self now checking his facebook since one of my friends is his friends. i changed the privacy of my profile so he cant see me.

    Hi,

    Yes…you did the right thing, it is very apparent (from listening to other forum members) that FB can be the worst thing for people going through a break up.

    I really think you should consider reading the free plan, and following ALL the steps in it.

    And yes, that means sending the recommended NC message (without changes) even though you sent that letter.

    This will kick start your personal evolution, and help you get your life back again.

    You have to get your life back, and evolve past your old “failed” relationship, before you can ever get your ex back again, understand?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  219. dee says:

    hi again..
    i already subscribe to your free plan, but i cannot find the nc letter…

    and do i need to send another letter? i am willing to follow all your instructions.just to get my life back on track…

    thank you so much.

  220. dee says:

    i found it. thank you. one more question please..

    even it is one month now? do i need to send this nc letter?

    bye for now..thank you.

  221. S. Williams says:

    dee wrote:

    one more question please..

    even it is one month now? do i need to send this nc letter?

    Hi,

    Yes, because this is about you, and getting your life back again.

    The NC message in the free plan is the first step in starting your personal evolution.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  222. Melanie Ong says:

    Dear Mr. S.W.,

    I had a big fight with my ex two days ago. I didn’t talk to her after that, but I still miss her and felt like crying whenever I look at her pictures. She even blocked me on her facebook. I didn’t mind that anymore, but then today she sent me two messages regarding something random. The first message said: “Good morning people of the world.” I just replied, “Yes?” she didn’t reply. Around a few hours later she sent me another message: “Good afternoon, take my advice, if you want to tutor somebody, find someone who’s sensible.” I didn’t reply. I don’t know what is going on with her, and if she blocked me on facebook, why would she text me those messages? I’m really confused. I want her back and I can’t move on from all these madness. I love her.

  223. S. Williams says:

    Melanie Ong wrote:

    I want her back and I can’t move on from all these madness.

    Hi,

    The free plan on my Blog will help you get your life back.

    If you ever want to get back together with your ex, you must first move past this “madness”.

    After you have defeated your madness you can follow the steps in the free plan to reconnect with your ex.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  224. pretty2t says:

    pls help me join the forum.

  225. Mitzy says:

    Dear S.W.,

    I’ve sent my NC message about a month and a half ago and have been enjoying and improving myself for the past few weeks. A few days ago, I was finally planning to re-establish a connection with my ex by talking to him after summer school to see if he wanted to just catch up (he doesn’t particularly find any value in emails and a phone call would seem weird since I see him all the time.) But he didn’t show up and when I got home, I noticed he finally changed his relationship status on fb after all this time. Then last night, at a party, he was being really friendly with all of my friends and acting how he used to act before we ever got together (being real flirty with everyone, save for me, who he avoided talking to.) Did I just miss out on my chance to catch him before he moves on? I’m getting the vibe that he’s finally moving on from me, in spite of all the work I’ve been putting into myself. I kind of want to know if there’s still a chance for me before I go ahead and try and re-establish connection this upcoming week.

    Thanks!

  226. S. Williams says:

    Mitzy wrote:

    Did I just miss out on my chance to catch him before he moves on? I’m getting the vibe that he’s finally moving on from me, in spite of all the work I’ve been putting into myself. I kind of want to know if there’s still a chance for me before I go ahead and try and re-establish connection this upcoming week.

    Hi,

    First 1.5 months doesn’t mean you have to reconnect, some people have waited 6 months and more, and were successful, every situation is different.

    If you feel that he is not ready, then don”t attempt a reconnection, move with your life for now, and see what the future brings.

    The free plan is not about getting your ex back, it is about getting your life back, and revealing your ex’s “true” feelings for you.

    It sounds like you “almost” have your life back, when you stop worrying about getting your ex back, you will have completed your NC.

    If your ex moves on, he was never that much in love with you in the first place, right?

    1.5 months is way too soon to make that assumption, just keep on evolving, and go out on dates.

    That’s my advice, but you are free to ignore it.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  227. JoAnne says:

    Hi Scott,

    Thank you for the web site. Here is how I was dumped verbatim, via text message: “I can’t du this relationship,please just stay away, Im no good for 4, so sorry.”.

    While I believe this is true, there are circumstances, job loss, and other financial concerns, surrounding the message. I’m not making excuses, it could be he’s just not that into me;however, we have a 10 year friendship prior to dating. I intend to apply the NC rule(however I did respond to the original text message, as love and peace good-bye…will that suffice as the NC initiation?).

    Thank you Scott! I love this web site.
    J

  228. S. Williams says:

    JoAnne wrote:

    I intend to apply the NC rule(however I did respond to the original text message, as love and peace good-bye…will that suffice as the NC initiation?).

    Hi,

    No, you need to send the recommended NC message.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  229. JoAnna says:

    Hi Scott,

    Impressive! Thank you for your quick response and a very Happy Father’s Day to you!

    Do I text message or hand write a letter to apply the NC rule? Two days have past already. I do have a question/concern; Do you think I closed the door completely with my response? Therefore, the need to send the proven NC rule. Just need clarification. Thank you again, Scott.

    Regards,
    J

  230. S. Williams says:

    JoAnna wrote:

    Do you think I closed the door completely with my response?

    Hi,

    No, just follow ALL the steps in the free plan starting with the NC message, and do not worry about what your ex says/does, or the past.

    This will be the beginning of your personal evolution.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

    • JoAnna says:

      Hi Scott, It’s been months and I truly thought I was over the ex! We ran into each other at a party at a mutual friends house(he was there with another woman). I thought all was good, until a few hours later, tears just started rolling down my face. I can’t even believe it. Just when I thought I kicked loves ass, it turned the tables on me. Just goes to show, that I need to repeat the process(of course, less the no contact message correct?) There is another party involved. Your thoughts?

      Thank you!

      • S. Williams says:

        Hi,

        Why didn’t you have a date?

        This whole plan was about getting your life back, not about trying to forget your ex boyfriend.

        I somehow feel you didn’t follow ALL the steps in the free plan.

        You only get out what you put in…weak effort = crappy results.

        Take Care,

        S.W.

        • JoAnna says:

          Hi Scott – too funny! I did have a date and his lame ass was mad about something :) So I went with out hime! But good point!

          Gotta love the candidness!

  231. Shelbi says:

    OK….I placed some of my ex’s belongings in his truck and left them for him to find. He soon after starts calling my cell MANY times…I did not answer. He has left me a message asking me to call back, but I have not. If I keep refraining from no contact though I did not write a letter to him, will your plan still work? THANKS AGAIN~~!!

  232. S. Williams says:

    Shelbi wrote:

    If I keep refraining from no contact though I did not write a letter to him, will your plan still work?

    Hi,

    If you don’t follow ALL the steps in the free plan, you are not following “my plan”, you’re following your own plan.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  233. Mitzy says:

    Hello!

    This is a follow-up on my post before this. Today my ex initiated a very brief conversation with me. My friend and I were walking down to get picked up from summer school, and he was walking down behind us. I was talking to my friend then he butted in with his own question. His tone was very neutral and restrained. It would have been a very good chance to show him how much better of a conversationalist I’ve become (one of his complaints about me was that I was a horrible conversationalist around him, which wasn’t so much because I am a horrible conversationalist in general but my low self-esteem caused me to be restrained in the way I spoke around him), but I was so surprised by the fact that he did try and talk to me (and so used to being in NC for that 1.5 months) that I ended up not continuing the conversation for as long as I definitely could have and we walked in silence for about ten-twenty seconds or so until my friend and I split ways from him.

    I am curious as to what you might think of the situation, S.W. My gut tells me that all he’s trying to do is restore normalcy for the sake of our mutual friends, but at least he’s trying to put some effort into talking with me casually again in big groups (note that there have been no one-on-one phone calls/AIM conversations.) I don’t know if his attempts to restore normalcy are good or bad for my purposes. He has opened the lines of communication but hasn’t shown any sign of being interested in anything else from me. I also can’t help but wonder if he’s being a little put off by the fact that I’m acting so distantly towards him while being so friendly and outgoing towards everyone else and connecting it to my “bad” conversational skills instead of my NC. I think sending another NC message now would be a little counter productive, now that he’s finally starting to talk to me a little bit and I feel confident enough to talk to him (today’s surprise was just a mistake!) Any help would be appreciated!

    Thanks!

  234. S. Williams says:

    Mitzy wrote:

    S.W. My gut tells me that all he’s trying to do is restore normalcy for the sake of our mutual friends

    Hi,

    You control the situation when you use NC correctly.

    Don’t let your ex force you to give up on NC to restore “normalcy” to your other friends.

    If you don’t stand up for yourself, who will?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  235. Mitzy says:

    Thank you for responding again!

    I know NC is supposed to be a period where I work on myself and regain my life back. If that were the only requirement of NC, I’d say I’m ready to end it because I feel confident that I’ve evolved and have grown stronger. To be honest, I don’t care if I get him back or not; it certainly would be nice, but I don’t feel like I /need/ him anymore. The thing is, I don’t think /he/ evolved or missed me in any way during this period; at least, he hasn’t shown any signs or is restraining himself very well (which I know he can do.) Should I make the first move to speak with him one-on-one to have something more concrete to judge off of, /then/ decide from that whether or not to continue NC? Or should I just continue NC without even initiating contact?

  236. S. Williams says:

    Mitzy wrote:

    The thing is, I don’t think /he/ evolved or missed me in any way during this period; at least, he hasn’t shown any signs

    Hi,

    You just answered your own question.

    You need to stay in control unless you want to be in NC forever.

    Stop over analyzing a simple technique.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  237. Melanie says:

    Hello Brother S.W., thanks for replying to my message:) You’re right, I should really move past these ‘madness’. I’ve been focusing on myself lately, and I went ‘out of sight’. What’s confusing is that two days after the breakup, my friend told me that my ex keep passing by our classroom around 10+ times, as if she was looking for somebody. Also, I received some of her text messages but I just completely ignored her. Yesterday I saw my ex again, but good thing is that she didn’t spot me from afar. My best friend also told me that my ex opened up to her regarding our breakup, and I don’t know if I should believe what my best friend told me. It’s really confusing because my ex and her other classmates don’t like my best friend because of her attitude, and the worst thing is that some sort of theft occured just within the two weeks of school. I’m really having a hard time to deal with these issues…. Need I investigate the matters?

  238. Cathy says:

    Hi Scott,

    I’ve been reading almost every page on this site for the last days and your advices are awesome and very straight forward.

    I try to make this short.

    4 months ago I broke up with my ex as we were very unhappy in our relationship (we’ve been together and living together for the last 2.5 years).

    I had some really bad things going on in my life. My dad got diagnosed with cancer and is still under treatment, I also lost my grandfather and my dog during this period. At the same time my ex was getting more and more depressed as him aswell had some health issues (stress related)and hates his job which he is not even trying to change.

    I tried to be there as much as possible for him but he was acting mean to me and I was very stressed as well and felt I could not deal with a boyfriend that didnt seem to care fore me at the worst moment of my life. So I wanted a break.

    I had already found my own place and one month later I was moving out. We continued living as a couple for the remaining month and things actually got a lot better between us as we no longer had any expectations on each other.

    The weekend before I was moving out I went to visit my best friend in Lisbon. Due to the vulcano ashes I got stuck there for over 10 days. In the meantime my ex had been in London for a weekend with his friends and while I was away he completely changed his behaviour. He became really mean and told me to move on with my life and leave him alone.

    When I came back to Paris (where we live) I moved out the very same day. And after that I never to call him, email or message him…I later found out by accident (and facebook) that he had tried to hook up with a girl he meet in London. She came to see him in Paris while I was in Lisbon. But nothing happen between the two as the girl wasn’t really into it. But it kind of explain why he completely changed the way he acted towards me.

    I was so sad as I was hoping for us to actually be good together again and thought me getting my own place would just be good for the two of us. Giving us some time and space to think and feel good again.

    So I respected his wishes and never EVER contacted him. So for the last 3 months he has keep emailing me, calling me, passing by or ask for stupid things like “do you know where this old t shirt of mine is?” or “oh sorry I sent this email to the wrong person” etc, these kind of things. At this point I should have done the NC rule but I didn’t even knew about this rule.

    I kept being there for him and always answering him whenever he needed something. Some time went by and eventually we started hanging out again. When we met he was so nice to me. Gave me a million compliments, told me I’ve changed so much to the better. So much happier and nicer. We eventually started kissing and having sex again, maybe 4-5 times since the break up. However every time he told me not to get any expectations as he couldn’t promise me anything. But I never wanted anything. I said “I don’t expect anything, I’m just happy to see you”. And as time went by he started talking about other girls to me and even asked me to hook him up with a friend of mine (just to tease me he told me)

    I finally realized I had to break it off completely or I would go insane as I still have so strong feelings for him. So now I’m asking myself. Should I try to win “us” back or not. In a way I feel like the reason he kept coming back to me all the time was more to the fact that he missed me as a person more as me as his girlfriend. At the same time I know he thinks of me as the perfect woman in every way. BUT I guess you can still think this of a woman and NOT love her/ be in love with her…

    Also there was always a trust issue between us as he was convinced I cheated on him during our relationship (not true) and was always so suspicious and thinking every guy I met would fall in love with me and I would end up leaving my ex. He always had insecurities issues.

    I’ve now shut him off both facebook and MSN where we used to talk all the time and I feel that this is only telling him to leave me alone more than it is actually bringing him back to me.

    Just after my trip to Lisbon he told me that if he really loved me he would still be with me. So if he doens’t love me why do I even try to get him back you might think? well the reason is, I don’t really believe him due to the fact how he acts whenever he is around me. I think he just associated everything bad with me and just wanted me out of his life in order to maybe make it feel better. But I knew he missed me so much right after the break up and this is why he kept contacting me all the time. He wanted us to be friends and for me to be present in his every day life but not as a girlfriend..

    My questions now is, did I help him to move on? Because since I shut him off facebook and MSN he hasn’t once tried to contact me. I’m abroad for the 2 coming months (trying to heal my broken heart). I told him I might never come back. Move somewhere else. But when we parted he said ” ok have a nice weekend, see you in September”.

    I think he is so sure he still has me in his life whenever he feels like it.

    Please give me some advice.

    I know I can move on. I don’t need him in my life. I know I can find a new great guy. I don’t doubt this. But I really love my ex and I do think we could be wonderful together again but maybe I should just give up? What do you think Scott? I would love any advice from you!! Thanks a lot!

    Also I want to say that I wasn’t perfect in the relationship but I have learned from my mistakes and I know I should have done many things differently. My ex recognize these changes as he told me about it saying “too bad it wasn’t like this when we were still together” and he still talks about us about things that are his now, like the apartment where he stayed as “our apartment” even thought I haven’t been living there for the last 4 month…

    • S. Williams says:

      Cathy says:

      Please give me some advice.

      I know I can move on. I don’t need him in my life. I know I can find a new great guy. I don’t doubt this. But I really love my ex and I do think we could be wonderful together again but maybe I should just give up? What do you think Scott? I would love any advice from you!!

      Hi,

      It doesn’t sound like you have been using no contact correctly to get your ex boyfriend back.

      Just because he asked for space, and you gave it to him, doesn’t mean you were following no contact.

      Please go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Don’t worry about what you have done, focus on following the free plan, and you will get the answers to your questions about your ex boyfriend, and you will be happy again, I promise.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  239. Cathy says:

    I’m so sorry I didn’t manage to make it short! :P

  240. oregonman says:

    SW, you are the shit! Thank you! So basically, Ive been in NC for 50 days. I broke up with her because I was dealing with a lot of personal issues at the time and I wanted to be alone. This is when my evolution started (gym, self help books etc) . Fast forward two months, I felt like I was in a better position to share myself again. I asked her if she wanted to make it work. She said nope and started yelling at me all the time. She said she didnt know if she wanted to be back in two months or 5 years and that she cannot trust me because someone who truly loves you does not break up with you. I said I needed to make myself happy first before I can make anyone else happy. I did not beg, no pleading, no nothing. As soon as I started to see her ego grow, I hit her with NC that very same day. So, I sent the recommended text and really started my evolution. At first, she was not happy…at all. She said I was full of shit. Then said Im making rash decisions without considering her.
    Then she started calling.
    Then she started texting me, plz I need to talk to you.
    Then she said she needed closure and it wasnt fair to stop talking to her.
    Then she left a voicemail and she sounded really sad and said she wanted to catch up. Then she started emailing me that she forgives me and the past is in the past. Then she emailed me again saying it was fun being a part of my world, I am amazing, take care. Then she ask how long am I not going to talk to her. She said she really needs to speak to me.
    Then I got a text from her two days ago,
    “Hey so I think its time that we talk. I need some closure. We were too close to end like it did. I have tried to contact you multiple times. Calls, emails, texts, and still no reply.”
    What is confusing me is she keeps asking for this “closure”. (???????)
    But it will come in waves. One second she sounds moody and sad. Then she hops back onto this I need to let go. I need closure. She keeps asking about this closure. Maybe she wants to move on to someone else but not until we have that closure talk? I don’t know.
    Is it because NC is forcing her to move on from me? Maybe she does not want to move on but she thinks I am done. I just want her to say: I want to make this work. If she wanted to get back with me, her intention would have been more clear right.
    However, someone told me when you are the dumper you have to really show that you want them back and really work on yourself. I have been working on myself A LOT but I need more time. But does NC show I want her back? Not really I guess.
    I am enjoying being single. I am really starting fall in love with myself again. I have been turning into a superman lol.
    My question is what is this closure? Why does she go through these waves of sadness and please please talk to me then its “I have to let you go”? Am I at risk of losing my opportunity? I I need some more time working on myself. I want to fill in that gap of where I am at till where I want to be (Im working on getting a better job then I feel that my evolution will be complete).
    Honestly, SW you are God-send individual. You have done so much for my life it is ridiculous. Thank you!

    • S. Williams says:

      oregonman says:

      My question is what is this closure? Why does she go through these waves of sadness and please please talk to me then its “I have to let you go”? Am I at risk of losing my opportunity?

      Hi,

      I would say she is going through her evolution, at first there is anger, and then they just want to stop thinking about the relationship altogether by trying to force closure (or a rebound relationship), and then in the end, when the dust settles, she will come to grips with her true feelings for you.

      Just keep up the great work with your own personal evolution, and let her go through hers, and hopefully at the end (if there was true love) you will both end up back together again.

      But, this time your relationship will be even better, because you would have both learned a lot about yourselves, and each other.

      No one said the personal/emotional evolution was going to be easy, just that it would be worth it.

      Stay Strong!

      S.W.

  241. Cathy says:

    Hi Scott,

    Thank you for your response. I do agree that I did not follow the NC rule correctly. But because I didn’t even knew about it until I stumbled upon your site a week ago.

    Now, it do feels a bit ridiculous to send him the recommended NC message as we are no longer in contact for a while. I think you’ve mentioned somewhere that this is more for your personal evolution. Do I STILL have to send it? Can I not just continue not being in contact with him?

    Thanks again Scott!! You are really good a this. Much appreciated!

    • S. Williams says:

      Cathy said:

      Now, it do feels a bit ridiculous to send him the recommended NC message as we are no longer in contact for a while. I think you’ve mentioned somewhere that this is more for your personal evolution. Do I STILL have to send it? Can I not just continue not being in contact with him?

      Hi,

      I answer this question all the time, it might feel ridiculous, but it works.

      You want the best results, right?

      Then follow ALL the steps in the free plan, especially the most important one, sending the recommended no contact message to get your life, and get your ex boyfriend back again.

      Go read the success stories on my Blog, and on our forum, read the no contact diaries of the other members, 90% of them all felt the same way, but after they started, that all changed, and they are glad they did it.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  242. gokusen28 says:

    Hi~Scott!

    This would be the second time I will consult my problem to you. Because of your very ‘moving’ advice, I finally moved on to my ex. He is now married, and I do not think about him with tears or frown on my face anymore. I am happy for him.

    This time, I want to ask you what to do. Here’s the story:
    I met this person two months ago, during my cousin’s debut party wherein I was the emcee. I was really attracted the first time I set my eyes on him. It was ‘love at first sight’, and I really felt that he is my ‘destiny’. I thought about him, I cared about him, and he made me smile.

    At first, we knew that we were cousins so we were so close. We hugged each other, played, wrestled, and talked a lot. However, I was wishing that he were not cousin. I wished he were just ‘someone’ I met. And, I never thought that it was true. He IS NOT MY COUSIN at all. His father is not a real son of my grandfather (3rd degree).

    He told me that he also wished of that, and he wanted me to be his girlfriend the day he first met me. Because of that, I also told him my real feelings, and then we were ‘on’ as boyfriends. It was our secret because no relatives would understand.

    In their compound, no love/relationships are allowed, unless the two people would go. They don’t agree or allow it especially if it is between ‘cousins’. But Scott, he is not my cousin – in blood, in genes or whatsoever. We are cousins because it is how we treat every people in that place.

    After a few weeks, many people have noticed our actions like being so close, and often sleeping together in the living room…watching movies together. They smelled that something fishy happen between us. Maybe seven of my cousins knew this secret, and until now, my aunts don’t know about it.

    Knowing some people were talking about us, be became so distant. He never replies my text messages, nor answers my calls. Until one day, I decided to send him messages, asking whether we would continue the relationship or not. I gave him two options: First, if he says ‘NO’, we would treat each other as ‘cousins’…no more, no less. Second, if he says ‘YES’, I’ll be his – girlfriend, and we would date, we could continue what has started.

    One of my cousins told me that it is hard for him to decide whether to choose me or to choose ‘relatives’ rule’. If he chose me, he should not stay in that compound because no one can accept him. He would be rejected, and you know what, he is only a student. I am the one who has a job since I’m already 24, and he’s 17!

    Sometimes, I am thinking of marrying him so we could live together, but I cannot do that. I want to give him freedom as long as he is a teenager. Marriage is not the solution for me to prove how much I fight for him, how much I long for him.

    Then he sent back a message to me, saying ‘NO’…and his reasons – He cannot act well in the house, and he feels uncomfortable to our relatives. I understood him with his reasons because I know he prioritized what my aunts would feel once they found out our secret affair.

    I told him, OKAY. No hard feelings at all, and that he is going to treat me as older sister or cousin. I thought everything went fine between us.

    One night, I checked my facebook account, and I noticed that he erased all the pictures in his account (the pictures with my face only). He untagged all of them. Therefore, I did the same thing. I untagged all his pictures, and I cannot see him in my profile anymore. But, we’re still ‘friends’…I mean he’s still in my contacts.

    Now, Scott, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should be affected or I would just ignore my feelings for him. I do love him…
    I am going to be a godmother of my cousin’s baby this weekend (Christening)…and I am undecided whether I would come or not. I might see him there…and I don’t know what to say. I might be hurt seeing his face. HE LET ME GO…He didn’t fight for me. It hurts!

    Should I be distant to my relatives because of him? Or it’s better if I would still go there, and just ignore him. I am willing to treat him as cousin but my heart would die slowly every time I would see his face. Please help me, Scott. Does he love me? Or he wants to avoid me because he hates me? Is he moving on? Or like me, he can’t move on. I’ll wait for your answer. Thanks very much and God bless!

    Yours,
    g-d

    • S. Williams says:

      gokusen28 says:

      Please help me, Scott. Does he love me? Or he wants to avoid me because he hates me? Is he moving on? Or like me, he can’t move on.

      Hi,

      The best way to reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you is to correctly use the no contact rule.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps, OK?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      P.S. Delete him from facebook and stay off facebook while you are using the free plan.

      • gokusen28 says:

        Heya!

        I guess you’re telling me that I should move on. ^^
        He’s still part of my family…because I regularly visit my relatives there during weekends, but I’ll do as what you have said. I will stop communicating with him, you mean, even seeing him?
        If I delete him from my contacts, he would think I am affected. My cousins will also ask about it, WHY?
        Well, thank you… I’m so lucky I found you. I never asked from anybody else because they won’t understand how crazy I am…

        g-d

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          People who value their facebook friendships more than real life are scary…facebook is a disease, forum members have written about it in the forum.

          They said once they got rid of facebook their personal evolution was a lot better.

          If people ask you why, tell them you are to ready to talk about. This is all explained in the free plan.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

          • gokusen28 says:

            S,

            Thanks, Scott~
            Promise I’ll read your ‘free plan’ tonight then I’ll send a message back. Thanks for the help. I really wish to know what he really feels…

            Ciao,
            g-d

  243. shirley says:

    Hi Scott,

    My boyfriend and i have split up several times and ive never been one to cry or beg or plead….and he knows this. Its not that i didnt want to it was more to do with knowing how damaging that stuff is having learnt the lesson from previous relationships.
    The pattern has always been that he contacts me (usually by text) to test the temperature and usually i respond then he’ll tell me he loves me and misses me and i tell him the same and we get back together. We are so well matched in so many ways and have been inseparable when things were good. However, in the past it has taken up to a month for us to get back together every time we broke up and even though it killed me i would never contact him “first” it would always be him initiating the contact. We split up 3 months ago and he has continued to contact me by text and rang once but i didnt answer.
    The text vary from hot and cold to seemingly indifferent. He even told me he had a new relationship and admitted later he did not. He told me he loved me an cant stop thinking about me and i responded with the same after which he did not respond so i sent him your recommended NC message and a week later he text something totally unrelated ….i did not respond as i am now doing NC but i just thought he was trying to test the water again and i havent contacted him since. I dont know what im supposed to do, i have never not responded for this length of time. Im beginning to think that he thinks that i have someone else because we have never broken up for this length of time. In the past he would text me nearly every day until we finally made up. This time he has left it up to a week to ten days. Im also beginning to think that he has someone he is interested in but just needs to know i am still there for him, hence the need to keep checking my status. What do you suggest i do if he contacts me and tells me he loves me?

    • S. Williams says:

      shirley says:

      What do you suggest i do if he contacts me and tells me he loves me?

      Hi,

      Ignore it.

      Unless you like getting jerked around like a puppy on a leash, if you’re tired of all this shit…

      Then go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  244. shirley says:

    BLESS YOU………thats exactly what i need to hear!

    NC ROCKS:)

  245. Cathy says:

    Hi again Scott,

    Ok so this NC thing actually seem to be working. Last week I saw on facebook that my ex had put me on privacy settings which was weird as we haven’t even been talking for the last 3 weeks as I haven’t connected to MSN or facebook chat once. I know he did this because he is pissed off that I’m kind of moving on with my life and wants me to react and ask him why he did it. So what I did instead was to completely remove him from MY facebook. Deleting him and 6 of his friends from my friends list at the same time. I was on the phone with a friend and she said she wouldn’t hang up until I actually deleted him. It felt terrible and I felt guilty, as If I did something wrong but hey we are not together anymore so I don’t own him anything. I do what I want right. And I did feel a lot better afterward.

    The very same day my ex contacts a friend of mine and promise her my bike and ask her when she can come and pick it up, he said that I had said that it was ok for her to take it.. I told this friend she could borrow my bike a long time ago but I never actually said yes. Either way I don’t need it right now as I’m out of the country. But I thought it was weird from my ex to contact her (they are not even facebook friends) for her to come and pick up my bike. And my friend of course thought me and my ex had talked about it and that I knew.

    When they met for her to get the bike he had asked her if she had any news from me. She said she didn’t (which is true) but that she was sure that I was doing great where I’m now. And of course he knows that she was going to tell me this and that he asked about me..

    Yesterday a friend we have in common starting talking to me on facebook chat, asking how I was doing, when I was coming back, my plans etc etc. I know she is sneaking to so I replied only to things that wasn’t really interesting and told her as soon as I knew what would be happening in my life the coming months I would let her know. But that everything was great with me and I had lots of great things happening in my life which I would tell her later on and which would involve a lot of traveling.

    This weekend my ex also called me on my cellphone once. I didn’t pick up and he didn’t leave a message. Of course I did not call him back.

    Am I doing good or what? :)

    Cathy

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      As long as you are following the free plan on my Blog, and you sent the recommended no contact message (no changes) to your ex boyfriend, you are doing great!

      I would highly recommend that you deactivate your FaceBook account until you are finished using no contact, go out and be social in real life, leave your cyber friends alone.

      I have seen FaceBook ruin more personal evolutions then anything, stay away from it, OK?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  246. Bobby says:

    What if she has a new bf? does she still miss me or have feelings for me or has she moved on to this new guy?

  247. sue says:

    its been a few months now we went frew a rough patch really bad his brothers hate me but i only keep in contact with his mum but thats not much he was meeting me on the sly we got back together it came to his birthda and he just jogd me on and al of a sundden he inboxd me saying he missed me i worte back where has this come from i just dont understand dose he really miss me i need you help

  248. Annette says:

    I’m on NC for three weeks now, and so far so good. However last night I stupidly brought my ex up in a conversation with a mutual friend while we were chatting on MSN. A minute later, the mutual friend was like, “***** said he doesn’t talk to you anymore. Why?”

    I don’t understand this sentence, but do you think my ex simply accepted that I’m not talking to him and is moving on with his life? He hasn’t made any effort to contact me yet. Also I feel like I’ve lost my power because it was my ex who mentioned to our mutual friend that we’re not talking anymore, not me.

    I’ve been sticking to the plan quite well, but this loss of power is bothering me a lot. I need it back to reaffirm my control of the situation, not go back to square one where I was the needy person. What do you suggest I do?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If you were sticking to the plan you would be focusing on yourself, and not talking about your ex…make sense?

      You can’t lie to yourself and expect no contact to work.

      I suggest you get serious about following the plan, and stop fucking up by talking about your ex.

      You did this to yourself, and now you ask me what to do about it?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • Annette says:

        I think you’re just making up a lot of shit excuses to hide the fact that you don’t have an answer to my question. Fair enough. If you haven’t got a solution, just say so. Stop acting all high and mighty, and stop making assumptions about me. Thinking about my ex once in a while is not the same as thinking about him constantly. Good grief.

        Don’t bother responding.

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          You are the stupid cunt that’s asking the dumb fucking questions.

          SW I fucked up what should I do?

          What excuse did I make up?

          The answer to all your problems is in the mirror, go take a long hard look, and decide when you will start taking responsibility for your own actions, and stop whining to other people for help “after” you fuck up.

          A wise person asks for help/advice before making a dumb move…duh!

          Now go fuck up NC and leave me alone, you stupid bitch.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  249. magda says:

    Hi,
    I don’t know which of the no contact rule applies to me? My boyfriend & I broke up 6 months ago. Before finding your site I had no contact with him for 2 months. Before I those 2 months I asked him can we see each other to make it final as the last discussion was over the phone? He sms yes after a month. After a month he contacted me & said when do I want to meet up? I agve him a day then we met (my heart was racing when I saw him), but I kept my cool. I told him how sorry I was & had I known what I know now things would be different. He was nice but said the feeling accumulated over time, it didn’t happen over night. I said I understood & that I understood why we broke up.

    He told me he had to get home as he brought his dog with him he had to take her home to feed her. I was not done speaking. He said not all of this has to be said now. H etold me not to be a stranger & if I need any help on anything to let him know. When we both walked out of the cafe, he stood there not sure how to say goodbye, I gave him a kiss on the cheek, smile at him & said goodbye. That was 6 months ago.

    During the first 4 months we met up with a few friends for dinner who were a couple, I could tell we both felt a little strange at first but then had heaps of fun joking around. He also organised with my cousins to meet up as my ex was close to them, because before my ex & I dated for 6 months, we were very close friends for 3 years & spent a lot of time with my 4 cosuin’s who are the ages of 17, 16 & 10. Could he be genuinely wanting to just see my cousin’s or me as well. Because it has always been that my aunty would not allow for my ex to meet up with them without me even when we were just friends or dating. How do I know?

    But now in the last month he has been a bit distant after a 2 week holiday he took with his sister. When I called him he didn’t repond until the next day either because he was busy or forgot. It made me mad, I felt like I wasn’t worth anything. I know at that time he didn’t have anyone. One time when he did respond I said to him geee… it taken you a while? He said this is just like back then when we were dating. That was around the 5th month. I use to always be demanding & fearful so I was always expecting things my way. We would have fight here & there. Sometimes I’d say things I didn’t mean then take it back when I have cooled down. Hw warned me he hated that.

    It was the 6th month my feelings for him were still strong & I miss him like no one I missed in my life. I thought maybe I should make the move since I was the one that hurt him. I called him & said I wanted to meet up? He said if I wish & I said yes. Then he asked me why? I said meet up first but then he said if its about you & me I don’t want to go back there, he says its been 6 months already. But if you need help on something then he will. I said to him remember at the beginning when we first broke up we said we’d talk about it another time, he said we can, but we need to space for friendship first. 3 wweks later I contacted him he didn’t reply until the next day. Then he replied a day later via sms to say will call you tomorrow night.

    He did at 10 to talk about business we may be doing to gether as I need him as an investor. Then we got onto other topics we have in common & it went on for over 2 hours. During our conversation I told him how I’m more spiritually connected to God but couldn’t find any churches to satify my needs. He said he knows of one but I have to remind him so he can look it up. I said thanks. Seeing as out conversation was on a thurs I didn’t want to bother him with it on the fri so I thought I’d wait until the weekend is over. After work I recieved an sms from him giving me the link. I sms how sweet he was, thank-you & that I’d attend this sunday. He sms back I can go by myself if I want, but if it is anything like the orthodox way there will be a lot I have to learn. He says he will come with me if I like but not this sunday as he is busy. Up to me. I said fine I will wait for him. It is actually this coming sunday. Is he still interested? But then a mutual friend spoke to him recently & asked him about us. He said his feelings for me have changed & that he wants us to be friends, for me not to get the wrong idea & that he is putting himself out there. I’m not sure whether he knows our friend told me? I don’t think he has anyone as yet but maybe interested in someone. Is it too late for us? After all this time (6 months) will the no contact rule apply?

    Please help me I love him so, so much!!

    Kind regards,
    Magda

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Since the free plan is about getting your life back, it is not too late.

      You must get your life back before attempting to get your ex boyfriend back.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  250. Sad says:

    My long distance boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago after over four years together. After a week of begging him to take me back I gave up after he sent “I will always care about you and wish you well, but it’s over.” He finally deleted me from blackberry messenger this Saturday.

    I am afraid to send the NC message because I am afraid of being rejected again. I think a negative response will send me two steps farther back. I’ve started to cry less since I haven’t had any contact with him.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      The no contact message isn’t about being accepted or rejected by your ex boyfriend.

      It just puts you back in control of the situation…you were begging, and now you agree with the break up.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      This is about getting your life back…it is not about getting your ex boyfriend back.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  251. Michael says:

    We are not talking at all i need help???

  252. S. Williams says:

    Hi,

    I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s…if this interests you, go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  253. Katie says:

    What do you mean by a no contact message?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, it is all explained in there.

      If you can’t find the free plan, you won’t be able to use it, this is a self-help program.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  254. Katie says:

    Awh right ok thanks.
    Just a little info
    Me and bf were together for 2 and a half years. i broke up with him about two months ago, he waned to get back, but i didnt, then he gave up on me. a month after we broke up he started dating this girl, and were in a relationship after the second date.
    Over the month they have been together he keeps telling me he doesnt know what to do, he still loves me and his heart is saying me but head is saying not. He has tried to kiss more and more but i rejected him, as i feel it is wrong.
    After a week of being together shes been saying to him she loves him, and he told me he calls her by my name sometimes.
    I have started the no contact since friday. He contacted me yesterday 3 times but i didnt reply to any of his text, is this right?
    We are our first love and everything, and the person he is seeing is a christian and wants to wait till marriage. thankyou

  255. Maya says:

    Hi
    I have read articles on how to get my x back and i have done everything right except theres one thing.I broke up wit my x like 4 moths ago but i miss him and did the no contact and i diceded i was going to hang out with my friends. And recently I went out to eat with a guy friend of mine and a girl thats our friend. My guy friend sat next to me and so happened that a guy friend of my x boyfriend went to eat there too. So we just smiled at each other instead of saying hi so i knew he was going to go back and tell my x and that same night my x called and txted me but i didnt answer. After days he txted me and i finally replyed and he said if he could come visit me I simoly answered why. He said because i want to talk to you so i said better yet call me. He did when we first started talking he brought up that they had told him they had seen me happy and smileing. He said since you found someone new but i know u will always love me. I simply said his a friend and i had heard from his cusin he had a girlfriend so i brought that up and he said he didnt have a girl friend. He ended up telling me he misses me. After all he said you like me and i like you i said i dont like you and he said i was just saying that but that in person i wouldnt say that. I sayed that i would be able to. He cotinued saying that i like him and always will and he does too. After all that he invited me too his soccer game after thinking if i should go or not i said yes because your a good friend. I told him i was going to go as his friend and he said ok if you want you can take who ever you want. The next day he txted me and told me there wasnt going to be a soccer game and i could go where ever i had planed to go so i txted back its ok. he txted back sorry i txted back you dont have to be sorry instead its backwards. He didnt txt back and i really love him i want him back but now what should i do i dont want him to take me for granted please tell me

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If you want to get your life back, and reveal your ex boyfriends “true feelings” for you, you must stick to no contact.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  256. Sil says:

    Hello,
    Me and my boyfriend recently broke up and before reading this board..or anything about the magic of making up, I unintentionally sent him a No Contact text, if you will. After we had broken up, he had sent me a text a couple days later that he missed me and was worried about how I was doing. That he wanted to remain friends and he couldn’t get used to me not being in his life. I told him he was selfishly trying to remain friends and after a while, he agreed and said he would have to deal with the pain of what he had done. I was getting more and more upset so I kept telling him how could he do this, bla bla and asked him how he could have no feelings for me anymore. He said he would be lying if he said he felt nothing for me but he doesn’t want it anymore, not in that way. Not now at least. I told him that maybe we both needed more time. Maybe in the future when we were both in a better place and that he shouldn’t have said he had no feelings for me anymore because that hurt after all we had been through. He said he’d get back to me later since his battery was dying but I told him that it would not be later, not soon anyway, but maybe in the future. It’s currently been four days and I’m not sure where to go from here. I am scared after NC, if he contacts me..I am afraid if I pretend to be friends in the beginning..I will be stuck in the friendship zone where he wanted to be. I’d appreciate any help you could give me…or maybe how to make him realize he does miss me and miss me more :/

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If you want your life back, and eventually your ex back, you have to evolve past the break up, and let it go.

      Go read the free plan, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  257. Ashley says:

    Okay today makes it a month since me and my boyfriend has broken up. We had a huge arguement and just ended it. a few days afterwards we talked and he said he didn’t know what he wanted to do about us but he still wanted to talk to me because he know in his heart he wants to be with me. I was okay with that and thought we were working on our relationship and then out of nowhere this girl is all over facebook talking about how they are having sex and that they been together for a month now.She has started messaging me telling me everything they do and how she took my place but so when I talked to him about it he apologized for hurting my feelings and claimed it was nothing between him and her. So of course I let my heart take over and starting crying,texting,blowing up his phone,calling his family and etc… A few days ago I just decided to cut off all contact with him I didn’t send him a NC letter instead I let him know that I’m not going to sit around and wait on him. He loves checking my facebook so I make sure my status is something upbeat and i have even has gone as far as pretending i have a special someone in my life now but i want him back…will i mess up my chances going this route? Do you believe that girl mean anything to him or is she just a rebound? I’m so confused

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      The best thing to do with facebook is to avoid it completely.

      This chick can’t mess with you if you don’t have an account, right?

      Close your facebook account, and start focusing on getting your life back, not your ex.

      And then watch what happens.

      If you want to succeed you need to follow the free plan exactly, and that means sending the right NC message as outlined in the plan.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  258. Toni Simmons says:

    Hi thanks i have been leaving him alone (like he wanted me to do) for a while now it was when we first broke up i kept calling and texting him but then i realised to just leave him alone (its not the first time we have split up if that helps)i guess i just rembered from last time to leave him alone but for some reaon dident rember that straight away. When he say he never wants me back ever again dose he mean that or is there ever the possibility anyone would ever mean it or if they realy did mean it would they just say somting else ? (i dont think he dose mean it just wondering if someone realy did mean it that they wanted to break up with somone what would they be likely to do/say ?)

  259. Toni Simmons says:

    i just dont want to the exact same no contact thing i did before i mean it cant work twice ?

  260. Toni Simmons says:

    What i did before left him a message saying i accept the break up ect dident call him for like a week then sent a message and then it worked and he he wanted me back. now i dont want to do that agen is there anything else i can try ?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      First off, you DID NOT use NC correctly last time which is why you find your ass right back where you were before…broken up.

      I offered you a “proven” technique.

      If this is not good enough for you, please continue your search for advice somewhere else.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  261. Toni Simmons says:

    ok what was the technique i cant see your post from before anymore ?

  262. S. Williams says:

    It is called the free plan, it is on my Blog.

  263. Sairah says:

    Dear S.W please help,

    Before I found your blog I did this terrible begging and crying for my ex to snuggle with me “just one last time”, on the last time we hung out as “friends”.

    The next day he drove me to the airport because I was flying home to see my family for christmas and in the car, I kept my cool and said

    “Hey, I realized last that the way we related to eachother last night doesn’t serve either of us.
    I am going to take a 30 day break from all contact with you. Please do not contact me during this time. I have some reflcetion to do.”

    I said this just as we arrived at the airport and it’s been 24 days and he followed my request, I’ve not heard from him.

    My question to you is:

    I just found your blog now, I didn’t know about this system but it seems like I natrually created it?
    Should I start doing the other portions of your system but not do the NC message because I already said it so clearly 24 days ago? Or do you see a problem with my original message?

    Thank you very much for your time, you do such wonderful work.

    Sincerely,
    please help.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Your message is not good at all, why?

      You were vague (did you breakup or not?), and you gave him a time line (30 days).

      Let’s face a fact here.

      30 days is practically a myth, it rarely happens in 30 days.

      All that usually happens in 30 days is people break NC too soon, and get their heart broken all over again…not good.

      If you want the fastest results, start NC over by reading the free plan on my Blog, and following ALL the steps, including sending the recommended NC message (no changes).

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  264. Layla says:

    So I broke up with my boyfriend 6 months ago and it was mainly because he never talked about the future with me (we dated for 3 years) and it freaked me out. I thought he would snap out of it and want me back. I really do love him and care about him so much. I didn’t hear from him until about 2 months later. I asked him if he wanted to meet up and talk and he basically said “i don’t think that’s a good idea right now. i wish we had talked before. maybe sometime in the future.” So I didn’t respond and then 2 months later he asked me if I wanted to meet. Basically, this kept going back and forth for awhile and he backed out every time (from what I hear it’s because his friends told him to).

    We ended up meeting at a coffee shop to talk and just caught up. Didn’t talk about or relationship at all, but I could tell there were still feelings there because he was acting so nervous/awkward and got tears in his eyes. I then sent him a message about a week later saying everything that I wanted him to know…why I broke up with him, how I felt, how I feel now, etc. Looking back, I feel that it was probably a big mistake in sending this but at the time I felt that I needed to get it all off my chest. This was about a month ago and I never heard anything back from him.

    I’ve seen him out a few times (we go to the same church) and he hasn’t talked to me or made eye contact with me but I haven’t gone out of my way to talk to him either. Last week, I saw him at a group Bible Study and he looked so awkward the whole time. The girl sitting next to him talked almost the whole time, so I looked at her when she would talk, and he would always stare down at the ground. Later that night I ran into him when I was leaving and he was like “uh hey how are you?” and I said “great thanks” and walked away.

    Basically, my question is, should I send the no-contact message now or should I wait and see what happens and just keep acting how I am? Considering I sent that message that I did before, I feel that the “no-contact” message wouldn’t work now since it seems like he is playing the “no-contact” card. Also, considering what I said in the message, it doesn’t seem like I’m the one that needs to “think about things” like it says in the no-contact message. Please help!!

    -Layla

    • S. Williams says:

      Layla says:

      Basically, my question is, should I send the no-contact message now or should I wait and see what happens and just keep acting how I am?

      Hi,

      The no contact message outlined in the free plan is crucial to starting yours/his personal evolution.

      It doesn’t matter what you wrote or said before…believe me.

      It sounds like he is just acting like a goofball, and is not using no contact on you.

      I suggest you stop over thinking everything, and take the appropriate action by reading the complete free plan, and sending the recommended NC message as is…ASAP.

      Go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  265. Alana says:

    my ex just broke up with me. he says we just didn’t connect and didn’t talk a lot. We talked every day and he told me he loved me EVERYDAY! well, after a month and about 5 days, he broke it off. he went back to his ex (the girl he dated right before me) after he broke up with her the first time he was talking about how annoying she was. he said she texted me way too much and she talked to me all the time! he was full of it. i don’t know how i didnt see that they were obviously still in love with each other. he asked her out most likely hours after he broke up with me. i love him so much! what do i do to get him back?

    • S. Williams says:

      Alana says:

      i don’t know how i didnt see that they were obviously still in love with each other. he asked her out most likely hours after he broke up with me. i love him so much! what do i do to get him back?

      Hi,

      I don’t know how you don’t see that he is obviously using both, you and his ex girlfriend?

      He will get laid because she thinks she stole him back from you, and then you will give it up, when he comes back in a month complaining about her to you again.

      How could you love an asshole like that?

      This is why I help people get their lives (and their minds) back, not their ex boyfriends.

      I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      After you read that section, go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  266. mike says:

    scott, hi my ex and i broke up, kind of mutual, about 4 months but still kept in touch all the time, almost daily. WEll i found out recently she is dating another guy for about two months and never told me. I was mad at first and frantic with heart pounding. After a week or two we still talked about things and finally i met her and told her it would be impossible for me to even pursue her now if she wanted me back. She said she doesn’t know what she is doing with this new guy. I said that getting the news after all this time was like going through the breakup now. I texted her that i need alot of space and not to contact me for a while. she agreed. I then found your site and saw your rules. what i did was nc right? so i don’t have to write official letter again

    • S. Williams says:

      mike says:

      what i did was nc right? so i don’t have to write official letter again

      Hi,

      It was sort like no contact, but nothing like doing it as outlined in the free plan.

      The choice is yours, but I suggest sending the recommended NC message for the best results.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  267. mike says:

    also i bought the book

  268. Dhivya says:

    Hi,
    My name is dhivya. I actually broke up with my boyfriend just five months ago. THe reason was that he is a muslim and his mom found out about us and she didnt want to accept me. Now after the breakup, he asked me to be friends with him. He does talk to me here and there. So hhow can i get him back? isnt this a good that thing that im still friends with him?

    • S. Williams says:

      Dhivya says:

      I actually broke up with my boyfriend just five months ago. THe reason was that he is a muslim and his mom found out about us and she didnt want to accept me.

      Hi,

      I don’t know what you can do if your ex boyfriend is bound to do his mothers bidding, except to evolve past the break up, and find a man who will accept you for who you are, and what you believe in.

      I help people get their lives back, I don’t help them get their ex boyfriends back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  269. Pink says:

    Hi SW,
    I wrote my own NC message and sent it prior to discovering your blog, my version seem to have an affect because I know he re-reads it but he would still be able to contact me. He called and asked me to go out and eat, I accepted but told him I’ll get back to him but I never did. Then I discovered your blog and sent your version and proceeded to block him on msn and everything else. He figured out eventually and called me 13 times in one night leaving me a voicemail to pick up the phone. I didn’t pick up then he left me a message saying “I miss you”.
    I’ve been ignoring everything that he is doing and to be quite honest, I feel pretty good. I never really was all desperate crying in bed all day as crappy as I felt. It’s only been about 15 days and 10 days since NC but I feel as if I’m almost ready to face him (maybe another 15 days). I’m not trying to rush or anything but I’m the type that once I decide on something I act upon it but I’m worried that he is not ready. The last 2 days he stopped trying to get my attention and I found out that he removed me off some of his contact lists as well, is he giving up? And what am I suppose to do? Continue NC until when..?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      30 days is rarely enough time for the no contact rule to be effective in most cases.

      It sounds like you are rushing things.

      If you really want to be successful you have to change the way you “usually” do things…make sense?

      It sounds like your ex boyfriend has finally started his personal evolution, he thought you weren’t serious, now he knows you’re serious.

      I help people get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriends back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  270. Vanessa says:

    Hi Scott, I love the strategies you are offering to those going through tough times. My question is whether these same rules apply when I’m the one that did the breaking up. Basically my boyfriend suggested a break up about 6 months ago and when I moved on and didn’t look back, he realized what a mistake he had made. But I went back to him after just 2 weeks…well this time I’m the one that did the breaking up bc I felt our very long courtship was going no where (I.e, marriage). he has some commitment issues stemming from childhood. I’ve been understanding but just decided I didn’t deserve to sit around and wait for him to get things together any longer. neither of us are young. Anyway, I basically don’t want to be with him unless we are seriously moving forward. Will this no contact rule still apply? I know he’s devastated over the break up bc he’s told me but he’s still not Willing to go the extra step even though he repeatedly says I would be the best wife and mother…I’m lost. In the meantime I’m working on me. I’m anticipating him making contact tho and I don’t know what to do.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It doesn’t matter who broke up with who, you are both part of a break up…make sense?

      This plan is about using the no contact rule to evolve past a break up and healing a broken heart.

      That is why I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      If you are ready to get started, go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  271. Saucy says:

    Hey, before I found this website I agreed with the break up a month ago. I’ve been using the no contact method for a couple weeks now. I’ve been dating and having loads of fun. I feel like I have my emotions under control now.

    I want your help but I wondered if I should send him another letter that was similar to the one I sent awhile ago?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      The recommended NC message does more than just agree with the break up, and it is a very important part of the no contact rule.

      The way I teach people to use the no contact rule anyways.

      By sending the NC message you will not be breaking NC, you will be starting your ex boyfriends personal evolution by flipping his emotional switch.

      Without the proper message it will take a lot longer to happen, if it happens at all.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – Don’t kid yourself, it takes longer than 30 days to evolve past a break up. The worse thing you can do is try to rush through no contact.

  272. J says:

    Hi Scott,
    I just started NC about a week ago, and happened to stumble upon your site, I think it’s great.

    Anyways, I would love your insight. I went out with my ex for about 3 years and she called it off before we graduated, tried to work it out but didn’t happen so I moved on. Found another girl and got serious for a lil bit but we (me and my ex) were still in contact and had feelings for each other still and I decided it was for the best to end the new relationship. Throughout the whole thing I was constantly in contact with my ex.

    After having gone through the other breakup, I went to go visit my ex and we got along really well and I realized that I want her back. I left, and not too soon after I called her and told her how I felt, but we didn’t see eye to eye… She wants to be my friend but I still thought of her romantically. I was saddened, but eventually regained my composure and called her again to say that I respected her decision, however I would need some time and that I couldn’t guarantee anything. I’ve been focusing on myself and trying not to think about her really, easier said than done obviously.

    I first started NC (about 2 weeks ago) and she contacted me saying she missed me (especially since I’ve cutoff facebook and etc), so I contacted her the next day, exchanged a few texts and a 2 min call, but kept it casual. At first my goal was to not initiate conversation, but now that I’m reading more of your blog I’m wondering whether I should send her another more official NC message?

    Today, I just got a messaged saying she misses her family/dog and that she hopes I had a nice weekend, maybe fishing for a reply… Should I just go on with the NC, I know how you talk about flipping the switch, do I have yet to do this? I’m feeling A LOT better than when I started, and I’m doing this for myself so I can heal, but I still feel like I want her back. Winning her back proves to be difficult since we are in separate locations now and that’s the main reason why she’s skeptical- I read some of what you said about LDRs, and am relieved to finally find something that can relate to my situation.

    Let me know what you think, I would appreciate it.
    Thanks,
    J

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If you’re really serious about using the no contact rule correctly you need to send a proper NC message to kick if off.

      The main goal behind no contact is to have “both” of you evolve past the break up and move on with your lives.

      This is about getting your life back, not your ex girlfriend.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex girlfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The FASTEST way to get your ex girlfriend back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Take this one step at a time, and do not look too far ahead.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  273. m. delaney says:

    Hi there… I have a question about Twitter. You see… I have been following the NC rule. He contacted me within the first 3 weeks of our break up to see if i “needed to talk at all”. I told him i wasn’t opposed to talking “in general” but that I didn’t want to rehash the break up. So we agree to not talk until we had both had some more time.

    It has been almost two months since that last contact and, though I’ve been sorely tempted, I’ve not contacted him at all.

    The thing is – he still follows me on Twitter (I unfollowed him and do not look at his profile). So this may sound like a stupid question, but does posting to Twitter somehow indirectly violate the NC rule? I’m very careful to sound carefree and upbeat when I post because I know that he will see it.

    My mom thinks that I should disappear from Twitter altogether if I really want him to miss me. I didn’t post anything for nearly 3 weeks and he ended up asking a friend of mine if i was okay since i had “disappeared from the internet.”

    Then after that, I caved and started posting again.

    I know it seems silly, but I really wonder if posting on Twitter allows him a chance to keep tabs on me, and that it somehow prevents him from missing me properly.

    I don’t know what to do! I like using Twitter – it’s a habit. And i don’t want to have to “not post” just for his sake.

    I’d love some input on this…

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Twitter, Face Book, and web 2.0 sites like these are a waste of time in my opinion.

      As far as using the NC rule, if you’re not following the free plan, you are NOT using the no contact rule to it’s fullest capabilities.

      There is much more to it than just not contacting your ex, it is a personal evolution.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get your boyfriend back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Your mom is right, you need to give up the the virtual life and get a real one, he will most definitely keep tabs on you through your web 2.0 profiles.

      This won’t necessarily make NC fail, it will just take much, much longer.

      Who wants to waste time?

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  274. Karen says:

    basically i broke up with my boyfriend, due to his lies and then finding out he likes another girl. i want him to miss me alot, not get back with me. i havent spoken to him since the breakup, but he texted me today, saying if he could have his hoodie back, what sign could that show?

    please help.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back.

      I don’t help ex girlfriends make their ex boyfriends jealous…try somewhere else, OK?

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  275. Veronica says:

    S.W.,

    Background: We were in a 10 year relationship, lived together for 6 of those years, now we are in our own separate places. We have been broken up for three months but still friends. He broke up with me because he felt like we weren’t growing as a couple and the relationship was stagnant (sold our house, no babies on the horizon). This is before I found your site or heard of NC. I am still in love with him.

    I read “How to get your ex back in 2010″ one of the recommendations was to go out and date other people to gain self-confidence and your ex may start to panic inside. I’m not so sure this is a great recommendation because the “switch” seemed to have the opposite effect on my ex.

    So I went on a few dates to gain clarity and balance and perhaps gain a new friend, absolutely not to make anyone jealous. No romantic inclinations.

    My ex found out I was dating and started asking me questions, who it was, how many dates, who paid for what, did I sleep with him. I answered all of his questions honestly. This was before NC. I didn’t sleep with anyone, they were just a few innocent dates. Then my ex said he didn’t care if I was fucking this new guy or a million guys because it’s none of his business and I should knock myself out and have fun and enjoy myself. He said now that he knew I was dating, he’s feels confident that I have moved on and gives him the green light to date around. It was the most insulting thing I’d ever heard from him. I feel awful because I feel like he’s being retaliatory based on a huge misunderstanding, despite me defending myself and pleading and explaining that these dates were innocent; they were just a few evenings out.

    I sent the NC letter that very afternoon. He responded that he cares about me and wants to be my friend, but we both need to move on. I never responded. It’s been two weeks and have not heard from him. If he was truly jealous, he would be fighting to get me back right now. I fear his is dating around, hitting up bars, etc., because he believes I’m dating around, when, in fact, I’m still madly in love with him. He is also very stubborn and full of pride and I doubt he would admit he was jealous or hurting. I still can’t believe he told me to go sleep with other people. I don’t know what to think about that. My eyes swell up with tears when I think of his words.

    My ultimate goal is to gain clarity and grow into a woman who can handle my life independently without him, and once I’ve healed, perhaps I can add him back to my life. However because of this huge misunderstanding, I’m not sure f I should contact him and try to clear things up or just keep strong with NC. If I don’t clear things up now, it could make things worse for the both of us in the long run.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      The only switch that is really important is your own.

      You need to flip your own switch and realize using the no contact rule to get your life back is much more important than getting your ex back right now.

      Your personal life as you know it has been fucking wrecked, and you need to rebuild one step at a time…guess what the first step is?

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get back together is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • Veronica says:

        I’m not thinking so much about getting him back right now, but I am afraid he will make life-changing decisions based on a misunderstanding between us two. If I stick to NC without clearing my name, the misunderstanding and pain could fester and make things worse down the line for both of us.

        I know my personal life is wrecked. Just trying to take precautions to keep it from getting more wrecked than it already is. I feel plain awful and should have never went on those dates.

        • S. Williams says:

          Veronica says:

          I am afraid he will make life-changing decisions. Just trying to take precautions to keep it from getting more wrecked than it already is.

          Hi,

          It is your “fear”, and these “precautions” that will be your downfall, not the dates you had after “he” broke up with you.

          The no contact rule, and the free plan to get your ex back work.

          These break up success stories prove that.

          But you have to have the courage and discipline to use them correctly.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  276. Veronica says:

    Wow…thank you for responding so quick and being so goddamned patient. What it must be like to read people blubbering their breakup stories day in and day out.

    Thank you again for being supportive.

  277. Blanche says:

    Hi,

    The so-called free plan is formatted very poorly and hard to read on the site. Not only that, it is hard to find, which should be obvious given that every third question on here is about where/how to find it.

    Additionally, just say “it’s an ad for MOMU” rather than pretending it’s a plan.

    G’day

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Having a bad day, and needed someone to bitch at?

      I have been doing this for 3 years, answered thousands of comments on this blog, and thousands of posts on our forum, and I think you are the first person to complain about getting something for free…lol

      OK, maybe the second…I doesn’t matter because judging by the break up success stories on my Blog, and emails I receive daily you are in the infinitesimal minority who think I am trying to scam you.

      When in reality you are just pissed off because you have been dumped by your ex.

      Thanks for stopping by and taking it out on me…lol

      As far as the free plan to get your ex back being “poorly formatted” if you read the bottom of my Blog it says “This Blog Is Best Viewed Using The FireFox Browser”.

      I am willing to bet you are not using Firefox, probably a fucking phone or something.

      And you’re wrong again about what most of the comments on my Blog ask, 99% of them ask me if they still have a chance to get their ex back.

      I don’t help people get their ex back, I help them get their life back.

      Once again, thanks for stopping by to break my balls.

      With such a positive attitude one can only wonder why you got dumped.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      P.S. – Someone should tell all those happy people who followed the free plan and succeeded that they were following a “pretend” plan.

  278. Average Jane says:

    Blanche, not to burst your bubble or anything but I have followed the plan completely without buying MoMU, so yeah.. I agree that some things could be written better, but if it is SO bad why don’t you just write one yourself?
    Jane

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Even though the free plan won’t win the Pulitzer prize…it works.

      The plan is simple, the hardest part is sticking to the plan, that takes courage.

      No matter how well formatted or written a plan is, it won’t give you the courage to see it through and deal with the truth.

      The truth is you can not make someone come back that doesn’t want to come back, this is the biggest stumbling block for “love sick” people.

      You first need to get over your love sickness (the break up) and get your life back.

      I supply a free forum for support but most (not all) people use it as a hiding place to go through the motions and do nothing to evolve…just hang out and pat each other on the back.

      Believe me if I thought it would make a difference I would spend the time to clean up the free plan a bit.

      But I have found that if a person is “really serious”, they will find the information they need, and it will work for them.

      The bottom line is that a plan only works when the person following it is really serious anyways.

      In my experience, the “serious people” will find the information they need, follow the plan, and succeed.

      Mission Accomplished!

      The people who are not “really serious” will just find a reason to quit and fail, no matter how well laid out the plan is they were trying to follow.

      So what’s the point of wasting my time tidying up the free plan to get your ex back?

      I might as well use my time to interact with people who need support, right?

      Answer emails, Blog posts, and moderate our forum.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  279. Ellen says:

    Hi!

    I haven’t called or heard anything from my ex in a month.

    He broke up with me for a mix of reasons.
    The relationship would have had a difficult future.

    I don’t want to break the NC with a NC message, can i just continue with not contacting him?

    I still have his things and he still have my things at his place.
    What i don’t understand is why he don’t contact me about his things, right after breaking up he asked if i needed my things etc.
    Seemed like he wanted to give them back, why didn’t he just give them to me there and then. (the breakup was over a couple of days, the first day he was just so confused)

    Thanks

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If you just stop contacting your ex boyfriend without sending the recommended NC message, you are not using the no contact rule correctly, and this whole process will take much, much longer.

      You can’t break NC if you never started it.

      Now about your/his stuff…

      Since the whole point of the free plan to get your ex back is to use the no contact rule to evolve past the break up and get your life back, what does this matter?

      Who fucking cares why he left his stuff at your place?

      Just box it up and give it to charity…problem solved.

      If he really cared about it he would have come for it a looong time ago, right?

      And if he is leaving it there to torture you, and keep you from moving on…fuck him, and give it away to charity.

      You kill two birds with one stone, you get rid of his shit, and you give to the needy.

      As far as your stuff.

      If he ever contacts you, tell him to give it to charity because that is what you did with his stuff.

      Life is much too abundant to sweat the small stuff.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  280. gemzy says:

    Hi

    so here goes my story..!! split up with partner after 3 years, out of the blue 3 weeks ago, he was in a mood that day and came out with he doesnt feel the same and hasnt for a while. i handled it very well saying he should have told me at the time,i calmly got my belongings and left his house.
    he txtd that evening asking to meet and talk, a txt i never received until he txtd the following morning saying i take it thats a no to talk..? he then started yet another rant, again i replied calmly.anyways i hadnt done the usual girl begging crying phoning txting, i left well alone til a week later he appeared at my house with some money he borrowed, he again wanted to tell me to my face it was over, again i acted with dignity and politeness. Anyways he has txtd me every friday in regards to his belongings i replied politly and answered his question, that is all. i got sick of his texts so ended up leaving all his belongings with a joint friend then text him saying hi thats all your belongings left at …..house if you could do the same with mine. i do agree with you that breaking up has been best for us both, take care. he replied instantly saying, he thinks it was too, we had some great times together, enjoy my weekend away and to take care x.
    that was on monday ….this is now thurs, anyways the friend in question is saying my ex has been in touch with her in regards to my belongings which is what i wanted, i just wondered how i can go about sending the proper NC message? he will think im weird for sending two since i had already sent my version before coming across your site. i have also purchased MOMU and get him back forever.

    i must admit i have looked over peoples NC contact diarys and success stories and they fill me with much hope not just about getting my a relationship with an ex/anybody BUT the relationship i want and deserve.

    thanking you in advance

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Your version of the NC message is going to be very ineffective. I highly recommend you send the version outlined in the free plan.

      If you’re really serious about getting your life back, you won’t worry about “looking silly”, right?

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      The reason you feel so much “hope” after reading the other members no contact diaries and break up success stories is because their courage inspired you, now you have a chance to inspire other people as well.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • gemzy says:

        thank you for the speedy response!!

        your totally right. my NC message gave him the cowards way out, leaving things on good terms allowing him to come and go, the odd txt to check up on me…….WELL NO MORE!!

        as soon as i get back from the gym this evening im gonna read through everything (im in the uk so its 5PM here). the gym always leaves me on a high and that will give me the balls to send the proper NC message!!

        thank you again and i will register for your forum tonite!!:)

        • S. Williams says:

          gemzy says:

          my NC message gave him the cowards way out, leaving things on good terms allowing him to come and go, the odd txt to check up on me…….WELL NO MORE!!

          Hi,

          The recommended NC message leaves things on neutral terms (neither bad nor good), and it draws a clear line in the sand about how you stand on the break up.

          The NC message is not meant to trick, scare, or hurt your ex, just to get the ball rolling on “both” of your personal evolutions.

          Please make sure you are ready to use our forum correctly before joining and posting, I have been banning a lot of people lately, and I am getting sick of it.

          Make sure you read and fully understand the forum guidelines.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  281. Asha says:

    Afer 3 months my boy friend broke up with by sending an email. He is 30 (Lawyer) and I’m 25(Management student). He faced many problem before our break up and went to his cave for 2 weeks. at first he argued with me over a very stupid thing and then no news from him. I contacted him 2 times and last week, my short phone call led to the break up. I called him, I cried, I argued, I begged to give us another chance but then I realized he doesnt respond positively.After our phone call, I started thinking and decided to sent him a NC mail. I didn’t think about of first searching on google and get some advices so I wrote the mail and sent him the mail saying that I agree with the break up and that I need time.Also that he didn’t satify me emotioally and I coudn’t give him peace due to the sam reasona nd etc. it was deinitly not an effective message but I got a respond that evening. His tone of message was different. No more harsh words ( that we can be together because we are not connected emotionally and …. –> still not logical reason), but instead he wrote me what a reat pperson I am and that due to my achievements he always felt jealous of me for being so caring and active and that he is sure that I am every guy’s dream girl.but then he mentioned that his reason to break up was the lack of my experience in relationship and his lack of being patient to guide me through this path and also his own personal issue concerning work and etc. (still not a logical answe) however I decided to keep my silence and work on myself. I didn’t reply to the mail. two days later he sent another email saying that: ” I am forwarding you a document which I found on my laptop) I didn’t need the document, at first i got angry but then I kept cool and decided to stay on my decision and never gave him a respond.

    it’s been a week now. Deep inside I know he will contact me as I know he realy likes me. I know during his time in the cave I became so needy and sensetive but it’s time for me to change and become the same girl he fell for.
    But my only issue is that he is a very proud guy,also emotional but it’s very difficult to change his mind. So I don’t know if he would give us a chance or not? I want him to come back himself and start doubting about his decision. At the same time, i am busy with work, got a promotion this week, also making myself busy with painting and writing short stories in order to get back to who I was before.

    I didn’t took the exact step of writing the letter but do you think I still got a chance?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      As I have already explained to you in a reply to one of your emails, the NC message you wrote will not be as effective as the one outlined in the free plan.

      You replied and told me; “I can’t write a new mail because so far I have receved some reactions from him but I am just not willing to break my NC rules by writing him another note.”

      If that is your final decision, I can not help you.

      I help people use the no contact rule to evolve past their break up, and reveal their ex’s true feelings.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get your man back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  282. mya says:

    hye scott..

    I have sent the nc yesterday….it’s the 1st day and it’s been really hard…my ex call me juz now but i didn’t answer…and then he text me saying thank you for everythng you had done for me…i still didn’t reply….i know i can do it and if i really want a chance to be with him i need 2 follow your rules….thanx a lot scott…=D

  283. Samantha says:

    I have a question. What about NC and a long distance relationship? We were madly in love Friday (we’ve been together 2 years when we reconnected on FB after many, many years) and then we were talking and I said something to him that was more truth than I think he wanted to hear (not in a yelling way, but a calm manner. It was something that I hadn’t said to him because I didn’t want to hurt him and “rock the boat’ as it were, but something he said to me made it come out. We ended the phone conversation with him saying calmly: “I’m going to get off the phone now and think about what you said.” Which for him usually means I am pissed off and hurt and I am now going to banish you for a few weeks. We also live 500 miles apart now. Anyway, I sent him an email saying that I loved him and that he could call me anytime that I would leave my phone on that’s next to the bed. Again none of what I said was in an accusatory form — but it had to be said. It basically was that he hasn’t stepped up to the plate in terms of us seeing each other — he is going through a very bad time in his life right now — no money; no place of his own; no job — and I can honestly say that I may have been enabling him with too much support. Frankly, right now I’m all he has or had. Anyway, on Saturday I was at work and just when he knew I was on Facebook he changed his Relationship Status from Engaged to Single. Ah, love in the 21st century. It NEVER stops being high school. I’m too embarassed to let you know our ages because it is such immature behaviour — of which we have BOTH been guilty. So I called him right away but he didnt’ answer. He quicky sent me and email telling me to not call him or write him because he would not answer. So, of course, I wrote back asking him to please talk to me. But — well, you know. So, I found your blog and I sent him the NC email. The only thing I changed was at the end I said “I will respect your desire for me not to contact you as I hope you will respect mine. Maybe in time we can contact each other and preserve the friendship.” Again, my question is: do I do anything different because we are long distance and he can’t “see” my “strength?”

    Thank you in advance and I will only say that we are both way old enough to know better than to behave like this — but I guess when you get hurt (like he was) we all revert to 8 year olds.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I really don’t care about your age, why?

      Because it doesn’t matter.

      It also doesn’t matter that this is a LDR, why?

      Because he doesn’t need to see “your strength” because this is about getting your life back not your ex boyfriend.

      What matters is that you changed the NC message.

      Good job on fucking that up BTW.

      You need to leave the NC as it is written for maximum effect.

      If you use the no contact rule properly (as outlined in the free plan), you will reveal your ex lover’s true feelings for you, and evolve past the breakup.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – You should be old enough to read and follow directions too.

  284. sarah says:

    i left my ex for thinking that he doesn’t love me..but i am 80% sure that he loves me..after the breakup he didnt contact me in any way..he was angry that i left him and he said i wan us to stay frnds..after 1week he missed call me…i rplied with a missed call..i dno what to do:/ i really miss him and i cant get him out of mind :s i think that he wants to make me miss him so that i will be begging him to come back to me…what so i doo..does he love me???how do i make him miss me and want me back?? :(

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      You can use the no contact rule to reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boy-friend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get him back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  285. sarah says:

    hello,
    my long time partner and i got seperated.he told me that i should go to my own way at the same time he told me he would call me.
    i waited for 4 months for him to call me. he did not.
    so i wrote him a letter and told him he can go to hell.but i am so happy that he left me because i was so miserable with him.
    it has been 7 months now,i have not heard from him.
    for me NC rule never worked!

    Do I have any chance? We are married but he still has not applied for a divorce? I dont understand what he is doing?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      You didn’t use NC correctly, that is why it “never worked” for you.

      If you use the no contact rule correctly you can reveal your ex husband’s true feelings for you.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex lover back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • sarah says:

        Hi,

        Thank you for your reply. Is your book called Magic of make up?

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          I didn’t write any book, I created the free plan to get your ex back.

          One of the books I recommend to use in conjunction with the free plan is called The Magic of Making up.

          But you do not need to buy a book to use the free plan to get your ex back.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

          • sarah says:

            Hi,
            Thanks for your reply.I wanted to read it but I couldn’t find that free plan.
            Magic of making up, I purchased that book 2 years ago.I didn’t like it and the next day I wanted to get my money back. Because the person who wrote the book said money back guarantee, I trusted.
            When I tried to contact him via email he gave, It was impossible to reach him. I sent him many many emails. No respond!
            Anyway, I learned not to trust anyone on the net.They lie.
            Kind Regards
            Sarah

            • S. Williams says:

              Hi,

              Your comment makes no sense at all.

              First of all, the link to the free plan is all over my Blog.

              If you couldn’t find it, you weren’t looking very hard.

              Second, the refunds are handled by the merchant account Clickbank.

              The creator of the book The Magic of Making up has no say over who does, and doesn’t get a refund, it is part of the contract they have with the merchant account.

              All the information you needed to contact your merchant for a refund (with-in 60 days) was on your receipt.

              Although I myself have been ripped off a few times buying online, buying on the internet is easy and safe.

              In the future only do business with reputable businesses (like Clickbank), and read the purchase agreement on your receipt to understand your rights.

              Just make sure you do your research before buying ANYTHING online or offline.

              Thank you for writing.

              Take Care,

              S.W.

  286. Pakiya says:

    Hi Scott,
    My GF broke up with me a month back on my birthday. She was acting a little distant for 2 months prior to that (we have been on long distance for the last 3 months), but eventually said, she wanted a break. Like all BF’s even I begged and pleaded on tat day.. but then got hold of myself the next day. Then was in minimum communication for one week, where she initiated all contact.

    Then I started reading up on web, and came across a lot of no contact suggestions. So I started no contact, for 2 weeks, and then she buzzed me yesterday, and I talked nicely to her, and immediately after the convo ended, I sent her the NC message like how you suggested in ur free plan. The thing is I had already started my self evolution for the past month, and I am already feeling a lot better… :), and a few girls asked me out as well.. but I dint want to commit to rebound so early, as I am completely not over my ex.. So my question is do I continue to ignore all her future attempts of getting in touch with me? Not sure how girls psychology works, may be she will just give up :P Please advice.. would love to hear from the guru :-D

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I am not a guru.

      You can read about that on my “About” page.

      This isn’t based on women’s psychology either.

      This is about using the no contact rule to reveal your ex girlfriend’s true intentions, and to help you get your life back.

      Actually by getting your life back you will reveal your ex’s true feelings for you.

      If her true feelings aren’t what you expected…so what?

      You’re happy and whole again, and free to move on with the right woman…make sense?

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex girlfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  287. Tim says:

    Hi, my name is Tim, and I been hanging out with my Ex-wife for a couple of months now, and everything is going great.. But now I’m getting feelings for her again!!!!!!!!!!!! And the other day I got a text from her saying, “we need to slow down spending so much time together”… What does that really mean?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi Tim,

      It sounds like you are moving too fast, and you need to slow down.

      I don’t know what you mean by ‘hanging out’, but if you are having sex with her she might only be interested in FWB, and not a real relationship.

      If this is the case, and you are wanting more, you may need to see what her true feelings for you are by using the no contact rule as outlined in the free plan.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to reveal your ex wife’s true feelings for you.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  288. adam says:

    hi there my ex was doing all of those things in the begining. then we talked in person for an hour both cried alot and she said she wanted to think on everything that was said and wanted to see me the next day. i thought great we are going to try again so i walked in full of confidence and joy only to have my heart torn out and stomt on. so i emeatitly said i cant talk to you and that i wouldnt be talking to her until she was ready to talk again.and i have not herd from her now for 35 days. i havent spooken with her or any of her frainds or family about her at all.

    only today i asked her brother what time hockey was and if hockey was still on. and that is it. nothing about her at all.

    however when i got my heart torn out again… of course i cried begged for another chance told her a bunch of things to guilt her without relizing i was doing it. until later of course. so i am wondering did i go no contact soon enough or did i make my last final mistake? and when do you think she may call me. im on day 35 right now. i think she is going threw what i have read to be a honeymoon fase were it just feels good to be single and ive read it somtimes only last about 60 days of no contact then they start to miss being loved?

    it also feels like she is on a grass is greener else were phase but i really dont no.

    does anyone no how long i should wait to contact her. i was thinking of sending a letter in the mail or by e mial just saying.

    that i exept the break up and that she is strong and i have always admired her for that and that i think she needs space and if she wants to talk to give me a call.

    im wondering if that is a good idea and when i should send it?

    any infromation and advice would be awsome.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I recommend that you read, and follow all the steps in the free plan.

      You need to send the right kind of NC message, and that is included in the free plan along with free support – if you decide to join our forum.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

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