Tags: does my ex miss me, how to make your ex miss you
You’re probably wondering “does my ex miss me?”I can show you how to make your ex miss you, and how to tell if they miss you already….keep reading, OK?
Does My Ex Miss Me?
If your ex has tried to contact you since the break up, even if it looks like it was for something else…it’s because they miss you. If you didn’t have to contact someone, would you? I wouldn’t, I would get someone else to do it. If they contact you about some shirt, or picture they left behind…it’s just an excuse, believe me, they’re trying to “get my ex back.”
If they have asked you to remain friends with them, they really miss you, and they are having doubts about the break up. This is one of the oldest tricks in the book. Even if they are dating someone else, they still have you on the brain, and they can not shake it. If they are contacting you, remain cool, and I will explain what you need to do next.
How to Make Your Ex Miss You Even More
If your ex boyfriend, or girlfriend is trying to keep in touch with you after you broke up…they miss you. Now if you want to make them miss you even more you need to use the no contact rule. First you send them an effective no contact message, as outlined in a good plan to help you get your ex back.
If you use the right NC message this will flip an emotional switch in your exes mind, and they will start to miss you even more. Good news, huh? The no contact rule is too detailed to explain in this article so I would suggest finding a good free plan to follow. So once you answer the question “does my ex miss me?” You now know how to make your ex miss you even more.
Free Step-By-Step System
Just in-case after reading all that you’re still scratching your head, I can help you understand, and I will do it for free. I run a revolutionary Blog, and Forum/Chat Room that takes a whole new approach to getting your ex back, and it works! I don’t care how many books you bought or read…you haven’t seen anything like what I have to offer you.
If you want to learn how to make your ex miss you and to get your ex back, join my free newsletter for access to a free step by step system to get your life and your ex back fast. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.
Until next time,
S. Williams
~I know that “love hurts” but with my help you will get strong enough to kick love’s ass~
http://www.howtogetyourexbackfast.com
Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You are free to reprint this article, as long as you do not change anything in the article – it must be in it’s original form…including my name, website address, and this statement.
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I need help to get him back. We are NOT talking at all. I dont know what to do
we arent talking at all and i miss him
i have the same problem, my ex left me and it appears he went back to his ex before me. i miss him so much and want him back is there any chance of this happening if he has gone back to her???
i miss him so much and wish he had come back to me not used me to get back with her.
sarah wrote:
Hi Sarah,
Use the free plan on my Blog to get your life, and then your ex back again.
As long as you are having these “desperate” feelings you will never get your ex back.
Take Action!
S.W.
RACHEL wrote:
Hi Rachel,
Wishing will not do it.
Use the free plan on my Blog to get your life, and then your ex back again.
As long as you are having these “desperate” feelings you will never get your ex back.
Take Action!
S.W.
So what if it has been a year. I have cooled off contact and he contacted contact me sometimes. Now I moved back and we are sort of “sharing” our dog. He wrote me a thank you note for “letting” him have the dog for a while and I don’t know if I should respond with a note?
anna wrote:
Hi Anna,
Have you properly used no contact as outlined in the free plan on my Blog, or did you just stop contacting each other?
There is a big difference.
If you have not been following the free plan, start today.
Please don’t complain to me about how it’s been a year and you will feel weird using NC.
That line gets REAL old after a while…believe me.
If you don’t want to follow my advice or the free plan, you’re wasting both of our time…make sense?
If you want my help, follow the advice I just gave you…if not, good luck somewhere else…I am a real busy guy.
Take Care,
S.W.
We just stopped contacting each other, this was before I found the plan. I don’t feel weird using it at all. He is showing vague signs of missing me. So I am going to write back with the no contact letter, and since we have the dog treat it as though the only contact is concerning it’s care.
anna wrote:
Exactly!
If you read through the free plan, and follow all the links in it you will find more information about how to handle NC in certain situations.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
hi! i have a question about the nc time. I have the feeling that i may have to give my ex boyfriend more than 30 days of “alone time”, we’ve broke up like 4 times in a 1 year relationship and although we love each other, things are very broken between us, so i really think that maybe 2 or 3 months are better, is that ok? is it too much?. Thank you S.W.!!
patty.w wrote:
Hi Patty,
Actually 4-5 months is about average for most of the successful reconnections I have seen in our forum.
30 days is just a benchmark…very few reconnect in that much time, some try, and fail, and start over, but very few succeed that soon.
The moral to the story; “do not rush through NC, or your personal evolution”…it ends up taking you longer to succeed.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
So im pretty excited, today i cut the bs and finally sent the NC message. I was finally prepared to give it my all and I feel good about sending it. I was nervous but i could feel him pulling away the more I pushed so i decided today was the day. Im lookin forward to be working on me for a change. Thanks for everything and helping me get through my procrastination.
Anna wrote:
Great Job Anna! (Thumbs High) :-)
Anna wrote:
You’re Welcome!
That’s what I do…
I turn Ass Kissers into Ass Kickers, Welcome Aboard!
Stay Strong!
S.W.
tell me how this sounds: i don’t talk to him at all for 2 months, then call him and reconect but in a very cool and relaxed way and don’t really make any move untill like 5 months, or should i absolutely not talk to him for this 4-5 months?, i really want to wait a long time to get back toghether so things go well, and i know i can maintain 2 months of nc, 3 months even, but 4 to 5 is way too much. thanx! :D
patty.w wrote:
Hi Patty,
Instead of speculating, start following the free plan, and see how your personal evolution goes.
It is different for all people, it greatly depends on how you handle your personal evolution.
This is not written in stone…most people choose how long they want to stay in NC, it’s just 4-5 months of NC and reconnection time has been the most successful formula so far.
The best way to do this this…is to just do it.
Take Care,
S.W.
S. Williams wrote:
then why the book and your articles recomend 30 days as nc time?, maybe the plan should be about waiting more time so it really works, i mean, if very few reconnect in that much time…
i don’t mean to sound agressive or something, but a few months ago, around september, i broke up with my b/f and read the book, followed the instructions got back toghether and now we’re broken up again, maybe if the book have said to wait more time it would have been different, i’m not blaming the book in any wayfor my brake up, of course!!!! it was for my jealousy and lack of trust, but it makes me wonder (i know i sound mean, but i’m really not, that’s the problem with written word!!!)
patty.w wrote:
I didn’t write any of these books so I can’t answer any questions about what was written in them.
In my articles I recommend “at least” 30 days as a starting point.
After our forum was created (about 8 months ago) and then the free plan (3 months ago) it has been proven in real life that 30 days rarely works.
But it has on a few rare occasions, and it depends on many factors that no one would possibly be able to know about every person who ever reads their book or an article.
I have never read anywhere where it states you “must” get back together in 30 days.
This is usually the choice of the responsible adult who is following the plan.
I am afraid you’re standing on very thin ice if you want to blame any books or articles for your premature reconciliation.
The “main” reason I built this Blog and our forum is from direct feedback from people who wrote to me.
They wrote telling me they had all kinds of books, and they needed support, and when they wrote to the people who sold them these books…no one answered.
I answered their call, and believe it or not there are still people out there who will not use the “free” tools I provide them…because it’s too hard.
Try it without these tools and you will fail 99% of the time.
Patty worrying about split milk isn’t going to help you any…learning from your mistakes, and not giving up will.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
@ S. Williams:
you’re right i took those 30 days as a rule, i guess i’m so nervous about making this work it’s hard to think clearly sometimes, i’ll just take this time to reconnect… but with myself, is just that only thinking how hard this nc time’s going to be is what’s got me all worried… the anicipation, you know?
thank you so much S.W., and again, i wasn’t trying to make someone else responsible for my brake up, and you’re right, maybe it was premature because that month i waited (that other time) i just waited for it to pass quickly, didn’t make any self improvement at all, i understood that now on thanks to your blog! :D
Scott,
In regards to sending the effective no contact message. If your girl dumped you 3 weeks ago and you sent your last email to her trying to rekindle 9 days ago, and she responded the next day saying she wanted to move on, and since then we have had 8 days of no contact, should I still send the no contact message at this point?
I was planning on sending the no contact message if she initiates contact in the near future. I feel like sending the no contact message at this point will just act as reassurance to her that she is still all in my mind etc. What do you think about this? Would there be an effective rationale for sending a no contact message when no contact has already been initiated? Thanks in advance…
SteveMc wrote:
Hi Steve,
The only thing about waiting for your ex to contact you to send your NC message is that you are on her clock now.
The sooner you send your message the sooner you can start your personal evolution.
I don’t think she will be expecting you to send her the NC message.
She would be expecting yet another attempt to win her back, and then she opens it and it’s says you don’t want her to contact you anymore.
Just use the subject line: “you were right” she will be quick to open it then.
Make sure you read the free plan all the way through before doing anything else.
Take Care,
S.W.
So two days ago, a day after I sent my NC message. I got our cell bill that both are names are still on. I didnt want to see him so i made sure he wasnt going to be home then dropped it off at his house with his room mate. Today he sent me a text saying “just a quick question, what is my total on the bill because i know its more then this” I texted him back telling him his total. He messaged me back ” Thanks for dropping that off for me” I never messaged anything back. So my questions are, should I have messaged your welcome back? By not saying anything, have i now turned my NC into being a b!tch about it. I’m I prematurly getting excited that he messaged me about it because he set up how much it was going to cost? Was it just an excuss to message me or do you think he just didnt remember? Also is it bad that this is easier then it looks?
Anna wrote:
No, you did great.
Great Job Anna! (Thumbs High)
Anna wrote:
Don’t read too much into this, just keep focusing on your personal evolution.
It was possible that he was trying to get you to break NC…but you didn’t.
Nothing wrong with easy…it is actually easy when you relax and follow the steps in the plan.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
So my ex said he would email this week about taking our boy but he hasn’t yet, and honestly I don’t think he will because I think he wants to wait for me to contact him for whatever reason in his mind. Should I not contact him and let him do it? Or is it ok to “call him on it” and contact him myslef since it is about our boy. I just do not want to play any games…Thank you!
anna wrote:
Hi Anna,
It is perfectly fine to contact your ex about your child.
That will not be breaking NC.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
hi scott
glad i got the opportunity to interact and seek help from u.
i ate up that me and my love have broken up.trust me,i didnt beg/plead/cry/did anyting to make myself look sorry. i simply said,”i love u and hence respect ur decision”. but then i even asked him to rethink.he said he had thought enuf.
we didnt break on a violent note. he says, “i still like u so much but cant see both of us in pain. the compatibility has died and somewhat my feelings too”. but i KNOW HE STILL FEELS FOR ME. he has not moved on.
from inside, i m devastated (didnt show him anything of this though).the last thing i want is my guy patronizing me.
we were mentally and physically intense close. neither of us have lied or cheated. we have had our past relationships.
his ex was an opportunist and cheater. he had caught her red handed many times and finally he had broken off his relationship of 5 years.
he is an egoistic, hard werking, honest and not at all an opportunist when it comes to relationships.this much i have known after being intensely close to him for 18 months.this relationship was never a light matter for both of us.infact breakup has been the las option on both our minds.hence i am a bit taken aback by his decision.
but then since 4 months now things had been haywire b/n us.we had become 2 bundle of nerves.emotions and sentiments just pilling on and not being sorted.he has been dead busy with his work and i am preparing for mah MBA exams.
but he had taken a time of 1 month to “think” b4 breaking off and i whole heartedly gave him his time. blv me i didnt look desperate and want clingy at all.
i have been into relationships b4 too but deep down i know, HE IS THE GUY.i thought a lot and then concluded this.trust me Scott,things have been so tough for me this 1 week but i kept control over mah emotions.i have my parent and relatives around who would question otherwise.
i agree to follow ur plan (as i have interacted with u via email and got the free pla).i know every girl is skeptical about the NO CONTACT PLAN.i agree taht being apart makes the heart grow fonder.but he actually WANTS US TO BE APART,doesnt he?? he is firm with his decision and egoistic i know (i also know that he HAS NOT MOVED ON and still feels for me).
Scott, i want my guy back. my only hope is you.i am ready to rejuvenate myself and correct my mistakes. i am already hitting the gym this weekend and have started going out with friends. even i will follow the NC as u say but loosing him will be the thing i do.THIS IS ALL FOR HIM.
I was never this emotional or into any guy. i love him. i want him back in my arms.
we are both indians. i am 22 and him 25.
help me scott!!
even i will follow the NC as u say but *loosing him will be the thing i do.THIS IS ALL FOR HIM.
I was never this emotional or into any guy. i love him. i want him back in my arms.
*loosing him will be the last thing i want to do.
zenia wrote:
Hi Zenia,
Every person thinks the same thing about using no contact…I am giving my ex what they asked for…or so they think.
People say things they don’t mean all the time…including “I love you.”
The great thing about using NC is that it will cause your ex to really think about what they want, and how they feel.
You (and everyone else) thinks this will drive them into the arms of another man or woman.
It won’t make them do anything they weren’t already planning to do.
NC is about you getting your life back as a single person, ans then deciding (after that) if you even want your ex back.
If you decide that you do, then you follow the reconnection plans in chapter 6 of MOMU and in the free plan on my Blog, and start a “new” relationship, not a continuation of the old “failed” relationship.
You must use NC to let the old relationship die before you try to reconnect.
People who break NC too early to reconnect, end up breaking up again a month or two later.
I hear about it in our forum all the time.
You must believe you are doing the best thing for you and your ex, and give it time to work, OK?
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Me and my ex havent talked since mid november and the last text was dec. 1st and NC since on jan. 5th she texted me “I know you probably still hate me but I wanted to wish you a happy and healthy new year hope your good”
I didnt respond what is happening just being friendly or is she trying to reconnect ?
She told me to move on 2 months ago so I did.
big daddy wrote:
Hi BD,
She could be testing the waters to take your emotional temperature.
If you want to reveal her true feelings, start following the free plan on my Blog (link is at the top of my Blog).
Take Care,
S.W.
i cant tell u how much “loghter” i feel after getting some1 to help me out.
my sincere solicitude to u and ur family scott
as far as i know myself, if i start the NC i am noway gonna break it. as i already told u, i DID NOT cry/beg/plead him to saty back when he decided to breakoff. i have that much dignity as i love him.
he even texted me, “i appreciated that u respected my decision so much. thank u”.
now presently, after the breakup (its been 6 days) he is the 1 “casually contacting me and readily replies to my texts, also pings me when online. he called up today tpo ask me why wasn’t i online yuestersay and what did i do the entire day.
i replied (politely) i was busy studying. and then did not reply to his next text.
i wuold mention again I DID NOT AND AM STILL NOT BEGGING OR CRYING TO HIM.
you wrote,
“If you decide that you do, then you follow the reconnection plans in chapter 6 of MOMU and in the free plan on my Blog, and start a “new” relationship, not a continuation of the old “failed” relationship.”
i have mailed u regarding the MOMU tht me or any friend of mine dont hold any credit/debit card hence i couldn’t by the book (tried 3 weeks). i stay in INDIA.
and scott, i would LOVE TO start a fresh relationship with my guy.
and i am ready to work on my mistakes and myself too
just be with me
I finally did it, I sent the NC letter and I haven’t spoken to my ex since Thanksgiving. I am glad that I sent that letter b/c it shows him that I am not stepping stone or desperate to get him back; it’s like reclaiming your independence.
How exactly do I reveal her true feelings ? can you tell me what my next move should be if any ?
big daddy wrote:
Follow all the steps in the free plan.
Fatima Nicholson wrote:
Great Job Fatima! (Thumbs High)
Make sure you follow the rest of the steps in the free plan.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
zenia wrote:
I can’t help you with that, except to say try buying a visa or mastercard gift card for $50 and use that to buy the book online.
You can use a gift card just like a credit card…they also offer Paypal as a payment option too.
Take Care,
S.W.
Is there an explained action I should take if she texted me after 1 and a half months ? I would like to make my move
big daddy wrote:
You want to skip no contact and go right to the reconnection?
Not talking is not the same as following the plan and correctly using NC.
You need to read the free plan.
Take Care,
S.W.
I was in NC for 1 and a half months
big daddy wrote:
You have been following the steps in the free plan for 1.5 months?
Did you send the recommended no contact message 1.5 months ago?
I have been in NC fo 1.5 months and I sent the letter 2 months ago but I have a court matter that I have to contact her because she filed a paper wrong.
big daddy wrote:
That shouldn’t be a problem, just contact her and tell her what you need to tell her.
If she sounds happy to hear from you, and you feel you’re ready…call her back a few days after and try to set up a short meeting as outlined in the free plan, ans chapter 6 of the book MOMU.
If she sounds like she is pissed off, just be polite and relay the ifno you need to tell her and then get off the phone.
If she sounds happy and wants to chat…don’t do it over the phone…that’s what you can do at your first short meeting.
If you do it over the phone…why will she want to come to the face to face meeting, right?
Just be polite and tell her you need to get going right now (you’re busy), and you will be in touch.
Make sure you are ready…don’t rush into anything, that’s how everyone fails…rushing things.
If you have been reading and following the plan, how come you’re not a forum member?
It is a great free tool.
Good luck with your call, and…
Stay Strong!
S.W.
big daddy wrote:
How come you sent the NC message 2 months ago, but only have been in NC for 1.5 months?
That’s some fuzzy math.
I emailed the court situation to her and she called me with in 1 hour, told me her life story and sound nervous and depressed, I didnt answer, she left a message and once again I didnt answer,but told me to call her if I wanted?? I didnt relize that this forum was available to me until just recent but you really are very helpful.
By the way im sorry but what is your first name ?
big daddy wrote:
Scott
That’s what the S stands for.
Thanks scott
This blog is awsome, so what do i do about my last message received wait a couple days and call her ?
big daddy wrote:
If she sounded depressed I would definitely wait a while, and give her a call back.
Follow the strategy in chapter 6 of the book MOMU.
This will get you fully prepared for the next step…reconnection, OK?
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Im strong as can be, im doing great, but the last time I talked to her she was crying saying for the first time in her life she failed.
she told me to call her back what about that just wait still ?
big daddy wrote:
You do not want to try and reconnect when she is having troubles.
If she is only reaching out for a shoulder to cry upon this is not the right time to try and reconnect in a new relationship.
You really need to read chapter 6 in the book MOMU, it will explain everything in detail…OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
Scott
You have made this the most useful and helpful blog that I have ever entered thanks so much for the information you are the best.
big daddy wrote:
You’re Welcome!
That was my intention when I built it.
Take Care,
S.W.
well you certainly seem to have lived up to your expectations
thanks again
So i find out last night that not even 5 days after i gave him my NC message he is dating a new girl that is totally out of his element. im not sure what this sudden change in woman is. I dont know if he really likes this girl or she just seems exciting for the time being. He had hung out with her lots before he broke up with me. I am in a hate for him right now. Im starting to believe i am better off with out him and that saddens me. But like i have read from you before. NC messages dont make them do anything they hadnt already thought about doing.
so the only contact my ex and I are having is with trading care of our dog(child), it is always neutral and upbeat, but a couple of times we have hugged. One time I instigated it and one time he did. Is this ok, or will he read something bad from it? I have the book and have been following everything really well, the only contact is about the dog,but I am shady on this?
anna wrote:
You’re better off not showing too much emotion (mixed signals) like that, it will fuck up both of your personal evolutions.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Makes total sense. Thanks for clearing that up for me, sometimes it seems like he’s sending mixed signals but I’m staying strong!!
hey Scott,
interacting with u each day makes me feel more and more confident!
thank u is an understatement
i had asked u, “i know every girl is skeptical about the NO CONTACT PLAN.i agree taht being apart makes the heart grow fonder.but he actually WANTS US TO BE APART,doesnt he??”
to that u had replied, “People say things they don’t mean all the time…including “I love you.”
The great thing about using NC is that it will cause your ex to really think about what they want, and how they feel.”
i am sorry i didnt actually understand wat u meant to say by this.
every man has an individual character. does NC eork irrespective of that? my guy is very egoistic, confident too but honest and a hard thinker (thpogh he was equally into this relationship till the time we were together).
i havnt contacted him since last 4 days (he texted me yesterday saying where i am, cant see you oln and all that). would’nt suddenly sending the NC msg make him think that i have been thinking about him desperately all along till now??
i am asking u all these as im just like…. trying to play safe and take sometime before i start my NC cos afterall ultimately i need to rejuvenate myself at the same time get him back, by the end of my NC period
P.S. just remindidng u as u are a real busy man, its been 6 days since we broke off and we didnt fight on that too.i played a good sport
Anna wrote:
ya rite scott even u had told me this. i agree as u say it doesnt make any1 do anything they were already not intending to do but still when my ex bf comes to know that i am showing least interest and “taking time for some big decisions” he might involuntarilly go out, thinking that he had taken the rite decision of leaving me and is free now to date any other girl!! though taht IS NOT the messege we try to convey via NC. what he needs to know that i love him but at the same time have my dignity and personality. how to make him realise THIS??
well scott
I called her, she asked me many questions, I asked how she was and shes not financially good,I kept telling her I had to go but she didnt want to let me off the phone she said it was good to hear me laugh and when we finally were getting off she asked me if my divorce was finalized, when we hung up she started crying bad and I just hung up.
then she texted me 10 minutes later ” sorry i got emotional on that call,it was nice to talk to you and im happy you are doing good and you are buff thank you for being so supportive of me,your a good man?
zenia wrote:
It means that your ex could have been lying when he told you he loved you.
If you ant to find out his true feelings you must “flip” his switch with NC.
When you flip their switch and they think they are going to lose you, they have to make a decision.
Now if they decide to let you go…it is obvious they didn’t love you as much as you thought they did.
Do you want to be in a one-sided love affair?
zenia wrote:
No contact only helps to reveal your ex’s true feelings…if he loves you he will want you back regardless of his character.
zenia wrote:
Sometimes “playing it safe” fucks things up.
There isn’t really a “safe way” to fall in love…is there?
I think you are over thinking NC…keep reading the free plan, My Blog, and the book MOMU until you are ready to totally commit to using NC, and the free plan, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
zenia wrote:
Involuntary? lol
You mean he might accidentally stick his dick in another woman?
You are really stretching it Zenia.
No contact works, but only if you do it correctly, and you can’t do it correctly if you’re afraid to use it, understand?
Don’t follow the free plan until you are confident enough to use it correctly, or you will fail.
Take Care,
S.W.
Can I get some kind of feed back on my last post
big daddy wrote:
She sounds like an emotional wreck at the moment…trying to reconnect at this stage would be a bad idea in my opinion.
Give her more time, and follow the steps in the free plan to advance your personal evolution.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
S. Williams wrote:
i agree. u are right. i cant fear and mpove ahead. will have to think positive. i went thru ur free plan thrice and i agree to wat u say.
i shall start the no contact method from tomorrow, by sending the NC msg 1st. its important as i still love him.
tell me 1 thing Scott,
i had mentioned it earlier to you too in my “break up story” that my ex bf had taken a month’s time to “think” b4 he broke off a week back from now.
i DID NOT cry/beg/plead or act desperate at that moment. rather i just said,
“its ur life. i can;t impose myself on u. hence i respect your decision as i have always had.”
was this a sensible step i took? if yes, then how much was it beneficial on keeping the door of “getting my boyfriend back” open??
zenia wrote:
This plan is NOT about getting your ex back, it is about getting your life back first.
You’re reading the plan, but you’re not understanding the plan, why?
Because you are too focused in getting your ex back…you have to start thinking about this a different way.
If you don’t focus on getting your life back first you’re chances of getting your ex back at all are slim.
Don’t let fear, and doubt stop you from getting back control of your life.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
thanx scott for understanding me. u were right i am focussing too much on getting him bak. maybe b’cos i ahd subdued my feeling of loss after he broke off and this is where i 1st got to pour my emotions out about it.
but u didnt reply that
“i DID NOT cry/beg/plead or act desperate at that moment. rather i just said,
“its ur life. i can;t impose myself on u. hence i respect your decision as i have always had.”
was this a sensible step i took? “
zenia wrote:
Yes, much better than begging, and pleading, (which would only push your ex farther away) and that will work in your favor during your personal evolution.
But!
You still need to follow all the steps in the free plan, OK?
Don’t be afraid to take control and get yourself back again as a single woman, after sending the recommended NC message…that is the second most important step you need to take, and that takes time.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
does she still have any feelings @ S. Williams:
big daddy wrote:
She seems to still feel a connection, but until you can properly start the reconnection process it will be hard to tell how strong her feelings really are.
so how much more time do you think I should give her@ S. Williams:
big daddy wrote:
I would wait until she is not so emotional and has her personal problems worked out on her own.
This way you know she isn’t just looking for a shoulder to cry on.
How long will that take?
Only she would know, it is up to her to get her own life back in order.
My ex and I have been broken up for over a month now after almost 6 years. It’s been 3 weeks since I last saw him but I have talkied to him. I went away for a few weeks and he constantly was texting me. At first I ignored him but sometimes I couldn’t because we have an apartment together and there are stuff that we still need to settle about that. Sometimes he would text me random stuff, like trying to update me on what’s going on and I would tell him to stop texting me. He would get mad and stop but then text me the next day again like nothing. He always texts me about something important that we need to talk about and then he continues talking about other things. Today he wanted to come over and see my new car, but I told him no, maybe another time but he kept on insisting. I know he misses me but how do I follow the no contact rule when there are some important things that we still have to talk about??
Cecilia wrote:
Hi Cecilia,
Just control the conversations, and keep them short and about your business only.
This is all covered in the free plan at the top of my Blog.
Take Care,
S.W.
I STARTED THE NO CONTSCT!!!!!!!
Yesterday around 1130pm INDIAN time i texted him the NC msg u suggest. exactly that.
but he didnt reply anything to it :/
is that normal??
we both have been cordial and calm tyo eachother since the breakoff and did not have a spat while he broke off. so no ugly mess, u see. and u even said me that it was a good thing that i did not create a scene when he called it off. i am happy i didn’t
and now its been 22 hours of my NC.
donno how it is gonna turn out but Scott u know, i have immencer faith in me that i WON’T break my NC nad hence won’t contact him b4 i am ready to
i raed ur free plan everyday but i had 1 question… doesn’t no contact have any bad side to it??>
just asking, rest assured i am gonna maintain it.
zenia wrote:
NC is about finding out the truth.
The only bad side I could see is that you find out your ex really didn’t love you as much as you thought he did.
But then again, that might bad to hear (at first), but it’s good to know, right?
Stay Strong!
S.W.
when I was saying bye she was crying and I just said bye and hung up should I have consoled her ? I am so confused.@ S. Williams:
S. Williams wrote:
by the way Scott,
i am really keeping myself busy these daysn(yoday is the 2nd day of my NC and it aint being that difficult). i het the gym yesterday and was out the whole day for study purpose
he was at the back of my mind thru out but i endured it
big daddy wrote:
No, it is not time for that.
If she only comes around when she needs help…that’s not love my friend.
If you feel you’re ready for reconnection…follow the steps in chapter 6 of MOMU.
There is also some great advice on the free plan about reconnecting too.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
rite it is always good to know the truth than staying in dim.
but tellme, true it is that ur bf mite dump u for various reasons but is it necessaery that he doesn’t love the girl hence dumps??
i mean i donno about my ex (which i will get to know at the end of the NC period) but at the end of the NC there is a possibility that i realise he did love me actually, isn’t it??
Ok so yesterday, he came over to get his stuff and decided to have a visit, terrible mistake on my part. He kept looking at me, and he scouted out my house and noticed all the changes. He told me was leaving a few things here so he can come visit again sometime. (Come visit sometime WTF?) He is dating another girl and he wants to come visit. So after he left he asked how I knew about him dating this other girl and i told him the mutual friend that we have told me she actually made a point of phoning me at 1:30 in the am. He then told me he wanted to be the one to tell me. I acted cool with it because in my mind the more I over react the further he would pull away. So i acted cool and told him i was happy for him. (if you tell someone not to do something, thats gonna make want to do it even more). So after he continued to tell me how i looked really good and he loved my hair, he also told me that i had so much more confidence and i was glowing. What is the deal with this? I also decided to join a dating site today to get out there and not spend so much time at home. So he ended up being on the same dating site. PS he was online today. Nice new relationship week old and hes still on dating sites. i have to resend my NC.
I also bought the MOMU it is really great, nice short read, to the point and helpful
im coming up to 30 days of NC! Still not heard anything from him, NOTHING. But im not done yet as the plan states i still dont feel ready and need maybe another 30 more. Just wish he wud text or ring.
Going awaythis weekend with some girl friends and unfortunetly we are staying in the same hotel as i staayed with my ex last year when we were toghether and happy (lovely memories). Go away tommorow for the weekend, worried it will stir up some memories and make me weak! We had some amazing times:(
zenia wrote:
I don’t have a clue what you’re asking me Zenia.
Anna wrote:
Hi Anna,
That’s it…learn from your mistake, and then start over and do it right this time.
Stay Strong!
S. Williams wrote:
”
i meant that is it necessary that a guy quits a relationship only when he stops loving his girl??
moreover Scott i wanted to ask,
certain girls often say “its been 30 days (or watever) of NC but i still dont feel ready to reconnect..”
what does this NOT READY TO mean?
Sally wrote:
Hi Sally,
That’s right 30 days doesn’t mean anything.
It takes time for people to personally evolve and realize their true feelings.
If you love someone you have to be patient, and believe in the connection you one had, and that it is still strong.
Either way don’t sit around waiting for your ex.
It has been proven time and time again on my Blog and in our forum, that if you start to move on (let go of the old relationship) you will feel better faster, which in turn will attract your ec back to you.
This is why goal #1 is to get over the old failed relatuionship, and get your old happy self back as a single person.
You were happy before you met, right?
That’s what attracted your ex…he didn’t want some mopey, depressed chick who was scaring everybody.
He was after that “hot” confident girl that he didn’t even know if he could win over…ah! now you see, don’t you?
This plan is simple…don’t over think it, OK?
If you don’t give up on the plan, you will be happy again.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
zenia wrote:
Zenia you are becoming a giant pain in my ass.
You think I can predict what your ex will or will not do?
That is the job for a psychic.
I offer a free plan will a good success rate.
If you were reading the free plan, and the forum you would know the answers to all your questions, and the one’s that aren’t answered mean you have to follow the plan to answer them, OK?
I can not fucking predict the outcome.
If you have serious doubts about using my advice, and/or the free plan…please leave and find a place that you trust.
I am real busy helping other people, and I don’t have time to answer your comments all day long.
Good Luck!
S.W.
To all who want their ex back…stick to the plan it really does work.
how long can no contact go and still get back together ? Im with someone else but still love her.
big daddy wrote:
As long as it takes.
If you were following the free plan, you would take each step, one-by-one.
I have followed the plan and did everything I feel I am ready.
you seem to think shes an emotional wreck and I tend to agree with you.
the last time we talked she was happy to hear from me and didnt want to get off the phone and when we went to hang up she was crying but I just said bye and hung up on her crying.
she sent me a text jan. 5th saying I know you probably still hate me but I just wanted to wish you a happy healthy new year and hope your good and I never responded to that text.
then I had to contact her over a paper she needed to sign via email and she called me within a half an hour after I sent the email and I didnt answer then I called her the following day thats when she was happy to hear from me and cryed at the end but I hung up and said bye well she was crying.
about a half hour after the conversation she texted me “sorry I got emotional at that call it was nice to talk to youand im happy your doing good,thank you for being supportive of me,your a good man”
and we havent contacted each other again since that was 6 days ago
I guess what im asking is where do you think I am at here as far as contact goes and when.
By the way the happy new year text came first from her
big daddy wrote:
OK then, there is a part of the free plan called the reconnection phase, and that is also covered in great detail in chapter 6 of the book The Magic of Making up.
Go read, and follow the steps if you’re ready.
Good Luck!
S.W.
NO NO i AM following ur plan and doing fyn!!
i have already sent him the NC msg and started the NC…its been 6 days.
zenia wrote:
OK, Keep up the good work!
Hi Scott,
Seems as if I’ve made some stumbles and need your advice to get back on track. My ex-husband and I reconnected after a 18 years separation. We dated for a year and a half. He and I got into an argument about my son’s behavior. He said some things that angered me. I retaliated via text message. After I sent him the text, he immediately cut off all contact with him. I tried for 3 weeks to contact him. He spoke 2 times in 3 wks, for about 30 mins. I wrote a 5 page letter, apologizing, validating his feelings and stating I would change. No response. Out of desperation, I drove to his house (I live in GA, he lives in VA). He wasn’t happy I came unannounced, yet me made the best of the 5 days I was there. As soon as I returned to GA, he instantly went back into ignoring me. Christmas holidays I again drove to his house (unannounced). This time I stayed 12 days. We had an awesome time. Even brought in the New Year together. I called him last week and left a voicemail stating I agreed with the breakup. It was in our best interest and that he was right to suggest it. Having access to his cell records, I can see he’s talking to other people. Where do I go from here? Another handwritten letter after I’ve left the verbal NC? I appreciate any help you can provide.
Me and my Ex had a relationship for about 3 months and still 4 months on we are still in contact always by him texting me and I always answer he has told me though whilst drunk broke down and told me he cant give me what I want commitment but still cares for me should I try NC but I have changed my number so he cant get me the same he would have to try harder to reach me is it worth a try.
Thanks
Today i have come to my 30 days nc. I have read the maguc of making up and there is alot of emphasis on 3o days and then time to recconnect. I feel so much stronger now anbd have been dating, having fun ect. And now im at the point of thinking about when its time to recconnect? However while i was thnknig about this ladt night i felt slightly sad, of what it will be like to hear his voice again, thinking is he sad? How will he sound? and more importantly does he miss me and would be prepared to meet?
This past month has been amazing finding this plan and getting myself back, and im so scared if i make contact ill go back to square one. But i some point im going to have t try right? Basically its been 30 days now, i still want him back but im not sure whether to give it a bit more time. I dreamt of him last night and felt sad this morning i still really want him back. Do you think im ready scott, its just 30 days to me dosent seem quite long enough???
I truly feel i have made good progress in evolving. And getting my ex back would make me happy beyond words, but i do beleive i wud be ok without him, because i have been. But still feel sad and anxious at the thought of him not coming back when i go into the recconnection stage. I think i probably need another 30 days, which will be 60 when i do recconnect. I also feel sad and angry that my ex has made no contact with me.
Hi Scott,
(
my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me 1 month ago, because he is cooled of of me. he said he loves and everything but something happened in his head one day and he stopt calling me, kissing me at the same way as before, started to go out with his friends and drink all the time. all that happened after he got fired and find another job. of course the brake up was my fault, he said, because i never wanted to sleap at his house, and i didnt want to hang out with his friends but thats because i dont have anything incommon with them. he told me that he no longer see as a mother of his children, and that i should find myselfe another boyfrend so that i could see how good he was to me. that broke me into pieces. btw all 4 years that we have bin together he wanted to merry me, and i couldnt tell him what i felt about him. when I finally freed of fear to say what i want he was already on the edge and he left me. i scrued up and i want him back. btw i did all the donts the first week we broke up. after that i stop calling him and took control of my life. PLEASE HELP ME, IM LOSEING HOPE, he is very stubborn person and when he imagine something he doesnt go back
after two weeks of no contact my ex started texting me callcing me saying he wanted to see me…so i went to his home and we talked, but not about the brake up only the ordinary things. after a week (he was still calling me all the time) i asked him if he would go out with me and my friends. he came around midnight and i went with him to his car. btw he was drunk, and he looked at me in the same way as before the brake up, and keep saying things like “we have to go to dinner together” “i have to take you there”…..that night we slept together, and he drove me home the next day. i thought that he was having second thought, about the brake up. I WAS WRONG!!! he didnt remember some things he said to me that day when he was drunk.
we went on a drink on sunday and he said that some things i did the day before pushed him away from me
he keeps saing things like “i dont know, time should go by, if I see that I was wrong, i will come back”…..but when he`s drunk he is different person, the person i know…. I think that his mind and heart tell a different story
i told him that i know that we were met to be together,(ok that was wrong i know that now) he was glad to hear that, but still going his way
I dont know what to think enymore, what to do, how to act???
if you could give me some advice i would be wery grateful
i`m afraid to take any actions, because i dont want to lose him
i`m hopeing you could help me because noone else would replay to my comment
Thanks
Elizabeth wrote:
Hi Elizabeth,
First off…stop spying on your ex.
This will only make matters worse, you can’t build trust by spying…understand?
Elizabeth wrote:
Go to the top of my Blog and find the link for the free plan.
Read it all the way through, and then start at the top and follow every step.
There will directions for writing a new NC message…use that message word for word (no changes).
Email it to him, or which ever way you think he will get it…but don’t tell him…put it in writing.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Sarah wrote:
Hi Sarah,
If you want to reveal his true feelings for you…NC is the way to go.
You can use the free plan (top of my Blog) for step-by-step instructions.
Take Care,
S.W.
Sally wrote:
Hi Sally,
30 days is just a benchmark, and hardly anyone is ready by then.
The free plan (not MOMU) talks about a personal evolution.
This usually takes 3-4 months to complete, and get yourself back as a single person again.
All your mentions of fear indicate you are not ready…follow your gut instinct and keep on evolving…there is no rush.
Don’t worry about reconnecting in 30 days…you’re doing fine.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Sally wrote:
All people evolve at their own rate.
That is why it’s so important not to rush through NC…give your ex time to miss you and evolve…OK?
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Ivana wrote:
Hi Ivana,
You need to follow the free plan (top of my Blog) and get back control of your situation.
This will give you both time to think, and evolve.
At the end 3-4 months you will both know how you truly feel about each other, and what you want…just be patient.
Take Care,
S.W.
S. Williams wrote:
Thanks Scott for the reply. I have already started NC for about 1 weeks now should I wait to see if he contacts me or just send the message about NC anyway sorry should of mentioned that before.
Sarah wrote:
No contact doesn’t really start until you send the recommended NC message.
This message accelerates your personal evolution, and flips your ex’s switch.
First of all let me tell you I’ve only found out about this website, the NC rule and the MOMU book 4 or 5 days ago so take it easy on me
My boyfriend and I broke up on Dec4th after being 18 months together. My father had passed away 2 months before, he was stressed about opening his shops, things were tense. But things ended in good terms. I was in NC till Dec22nd. I didn’t read it anywhere, I just thought it was the best thing to do. He invited me to the opening of his shop, and since I had been such a big part of it I agreed to do so. We talked, laughed, it was great. But when we were alone we talked about relationship matters, and though we didn’t fight, the tone of the conversation wasn’t the best either. The next day he mailed him, I mailed him back saying I needed time for myself, and replied back saying if it was such a hard thing to be in touch with him, then he would respect my decision and not contact me at all. I really didn’t know if I wanted to be back together with him. I was in NC till Dec31st, when I sent him a Happy NY message, to which he replied. The next day he started posting songs on his FB about how he misses me and what not, but never told me directly. I also saw there was this girl all over him. I didn’t react. On Jan5th we met on MSN and we joked and laughed the whole time, I was happy. 2 days later he posted another song saying how he’s with another woman but it’s his ex-Gf he loves. I didn’t react. We exchanged a few messages during that time, nothing much. On Jan11th he changed his FB status to “In a Relationship” to that girl. I freaked out. I sent him a message wishing him all the happiness in the world, with or without me, I remembered some of our great times together, I said I loved him and… big mistake, I told him I’d let him go but I’d wait for him (how could I…). He replied back saying he couldn’t tell me whether I should wait or not, and started comparing me with her, basically. I replied back “well, then I’m really happy for you and I hope she is to you what I couldn’t be”. We exchanged a couple of more messages about other things. Then I found out about this website and the books, and I’m commited to the free plan. He got together with this girl 3 weeks after we broke up. Since Jan14th that there’s NC between us, although he keeps checking my FB page (I stopped checking his, it only gets me in trouble lol). But I told him I’d wait for him, which of course, isn’t true.
My question is: by telling him that, did I screw up my chances of getting him back? I didn’t cry, or beg for him to take him back (not all is bad lol). He’s not over me and I know it. I just don’t know if I pushed him away for good. Any advice would be very much appreciated. Thanks.
Morganna wrote:
Hi,
Here’s your answer…
Go to the the top of my Blog and find the free plan.
Read and follow…that’s it!
Take Care,
S.W.
well i broke up with my ex from about a year ago she was acting slutty and everytime we broke up she was getting someone new and then aske me back i feel she is sexually atracted to me more then anything else so before a year i decided its over i told her to f–k off i got a new gf, she tried to get me i changed my nomber and blocked her from everything, but the point is that till now she is trying dirty games like making fake profiles to talk to me and trie to screw my life with my gf like trying to make some internet boys to add my gf to talk dirty so she can send me a conversation or something but heheheh she cant cause my gf loves me till death and that makes her crazyyy. i miss her but only sexualy and i dont feel that much attracted to enyone else but i will never be back to her plus i am acting as i dont know that she is making fake profiles and i use it against her hehehe you know i tell her things that make her more nervous and she believes everything i say cause it suppose to be talking to a friend from internet not my ex so i am not lying heheh any advice to play her more??? she diserve it and more please help me more
R.G wrote:
Sorry that is not why I built my Blog to help people mess with each other.
All the bad you cause her will come back to you x 10.
If you really want her out of your life…ignore her.
i deleted my ex boyfriends number, facebook, msn, pictures, texts and everything, and he contacted me the other day saying that he thought it was time to let me go. during the course of the night he said he still wasnt over me, hasnt been happy since splitting with me,starting sending me love song lyrics, he still has feelings for me, saying i was the best girlfriend hes ever had, im the best girl alive and im perfect etc and one day we’ll most definitely get back together..
next day, i get nothing.
what do i do? :/
naaat wrote:
Hi,
Go to the top of my Blog, and click on the link for the free plan.
Start at the top and read and follow every step.
Take Care,
S.W.
hey me and my ex recently restarted our new relationship after a 3mths break,we agreed we needed to be more honest and open with our feelings also both lose contact with the ppl who tried spltting us up, everything was great we went on dates etc then 6 weeks later he starts talkin to the ppl who split us up b4 saying he will work what he wants, talk to who he wants etc, i said i need more from him i need a new fresh start from relationship and if he cant working with me on this then we cant start again. for 4days he kept saying he will wanna wrk things out as he loves me. he hears from ppl that im apparently seeing sum1 else which im not, he turns around nxt say says he doesnt want to work things out anymore as im seeing sum1 so no point and he doesnt no how he feels he just isnt happy and nos we never will be. i told him its not true and if he keeps dumping me for them reasons why did he bother doing this to me all over again esp as we have a child toegther. he says its not my fault but i obv cant be enuf for him even tho he kept on saying we are meant to be as he always misses me and loves me so much. i had low confidence anyway after baby and he makes it worse, i dont get why he cant tell me whats making him unhappy
Gem wrote:
Did you follow the free plan, and use no contact correctly during the 3 months?
If you don’t personally evolve things don’t change, and the relationship falls right back into the old failed relationship.
You can find the free plan at the top of my Blog.
Take Care,
S.W.
Take Care
yeah i followed the plan and i had evolved i didnt contact him other than for our child in the 3mths, it was him thats stuck in the past and not talking feelings through, if he doesnt no whats making him unhappy then it will never work. in the 3mths i had been dating sumone else but it didnt coz he didnt like it that he cudnt see me all time as i have a child
Gem wrote:
3 months is a good starting point, but it sounds like you either:
A. Reconnected too soon, or…
B. Moved too quickly when you started the reconnection phase.
Do you have the book the Magic of Making up?
Chapter 6 explains how you should proceed with the reconnection process, and what to be cautious of.
I would start NC over again, and stick to it until he figures out how he truly feels about you.
As far as dating “one guy” who was jealous of your time with your child…he doesn’t sound like a very good fit.
Maybe you should take a closer look at how you choose your partners.
Start NC over, some people take 5-6 months to evolve.
Just because you feel you evolved, doesn’t mean your ex did.
And do not move too quickly (have sex) when you start the reconnection process.
You have to start a new relationship, not jump back into the old one too quickly, understand?
Stay Strong!
S.W.
he moved to quickly and was rushing things which i kept backing off which is what caused problems, he expected us to et back together and beacuse we lived together b4 we split he asumed we would do it again but i have spent mths with just me and my son and would take good few years b4 i go there again. i guess in his mind the backing off made him think i didnt really want to be with him but i dont want to get myself in the same situation and as far as the other man i dated i realised pretty quickly what he was like, he was fine about me being a full time mum wasnt intil we started dating ppl properly that he got jealous, i guess lot of immature ppl cant handle kids from other men i guess
Gem wrote:
He obviously wasn’t ready.
Go back to NC, and keep evolving and living your life.
You can’t force people to grow up, they have to do that on their own.
But you can take control of your own life, and be happy again.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hi Scott
I have been talking to her a bit now and she called me honey on the phone, she asked if I have a girlfriend also said she went thru all my divorce crap and now I dont get you but someone else will. shes crying to me on the phone about how bad she fucked up her life and moved back to Fla. with parents and wants me to bring her to dinner when I drive thru next month. because she knows im moving there march 1st. where is this going ? any advice other than the plan ? this shit isnt in the book is it
big daddy wrote:
Hi,
I am not a mind reader, how am I supposed to know “where this is going?”
I offer a free plan, and forum to help people help themselves.
If not is not enough perhaps you should keep looking until you find what you’re looking for, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
hi, i just find out that my ex had an accident with his car. should i call him and ask how he is doing, what happened…..
i afraid that if i dont call him that he would think that i dont care anymore for him
HELP
Ivana wrote:
You’re wrong.
Now is the best time for him to realize how much he misses you.
No contact only works when you follow the plan…no exceptions.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hi mr williams
Need you help, been with my ex for 2 and a half yrs. My ex broke up with me
2mnths ago and at first I was going nuts to get her back but it didn’t work. I then went
With leaving her alone with no contact she called me out the blue to check up on my family.
After that no contact I did not call or txt on her birthday. A week after new years I txt her after three weeks of complete no contact she called
Me straight away and we spoke for 5 hrs and that was it I was calm with this convo. We then chatted again for anot 4hrs on the fne a week later I have sent her a general
Txt since this convo but she never got back.
I stumbled across ur website and how I wished I came across it before!!!! Anyways I sent her a NC msg from ur blog and immediately after she called me four times I did not pick her calls.
Was it okay I sent her the nc nsg because I was the one who was initiang the contact.I
knw the next step is to better myself but I think I have already started
this and feel a lot better than before.
Please give me some more tips will she call agauin because I think she will not???
torres wrote:
Hi,
Yes you did the right thing! (Thumbs High)
The next “steps” are to follow the rest of the free plan…do everything it says to do.
I believe you are already a member of our forum, read and follow the guidelines and become active in the forum…it will help immensely.
torres wrote:
Don’t worry about what your ex will do, or is doing…this will screw up your personal evolution, understand?
Focus on the plan, and yourself…get your life back first.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Thanks mr williams, yeah I undrrstanad what your saying about thinking about her
It does mess me up so much. Anyways I’m defo on that plan and should be getting the book. I only wished I started this right from the very minute of the break up.
I got one more question do you think two months is a long time and how can
one person depend on someone just stop depending on them. She told me that she has become mentaly stronger. Is she bluffin me, I remember her telling me on my last convo with her that she enjpyed me chasing her when she broke it off at the begining,
do you find that weird???
torres wrote:
2 months is not a long time.
Forum members have gotten their ex’s back after 6 months, and they were in an LDR to boot.
Once you put your foot down (for a change) it freaked your ex out, and she will say all kinds of weird shit to get you to break NC.
You flipped her switch, and now it’s time for you both to personally evolve past the old “failed” relationship, so you can reconnect later on in a new stronger relationship.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Mr williams just found out that my exz mum is in hospital. She txtd one of her cuzin who is a close friend of mines, what shall I do shud I get in touch what if I dnt and another guy gives her the support wnt he become close to her???
torres wrote:
If you want to be successful using no contact, you must stop trying to find reasons to break NC.
Don’t worry about “other guys” that kind of thought pattern will make you fail.
This is an evolution, if you want to become the guy she goes to, to cry on your shoulder, but nothing else, then break NC and become her “good friend”, and watch while she uses you as an emotional crutch until she finds another guy.
The only way you will get her back is by you both personally evolving…and she won’t evolve if you don’t leave her alone.
You should be focusing on the plan, and your personal evolution, not what is going on in her life, it’s really none of your business…you’re broken up.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
my ex girl knows im going to be in her city that im flying to and offered me to stay with her and pick me up at the airport instead of my friends what do I say or do ? shes been very friendly and complimenting me by text but never calls on the phone
big daddy wrote:
Tell her no thanks you will stay with your friends.
Follow chapter 6 in the book the Magic of Making up, and set up a short meeting while you’re in her city.
Follow the strategy outlined in chapter 6 exactly, and move slowly, premature reconciliation (video #4 on my Blog) would be a big mistake.
Take Care,
S.W.
ho do i atch the videos on your blog
big daddy wrote:
At the top of my Blog there is a link called: Break up Advice (videos), there are four of them by TW Jackson.
Maybe someday I will make a video myself.
Enjoy!
Hey mr williams, its midnight in uk can’t get to sleep so. I thought I’d read all the post on here,
Anyways want to get your view on my NC, I knw I shud be using the forum but for some reason its not letting me,
Firstly its been 5 days since no contact on the first day she rang four times didn’t answer her
Call but made me feel real good after a very long time she was calling me I didn’t care about the reasonb just watching my fone flash was good.
Since then nothing apart from the txt msg to her cuzin who is my best mate telling him that her mum is ill I gt a blocked number call last nite I picked up someone
Was on the line but did not speak. I knw you can’t predict on what she is tinking or doing
But do you reckon she sent that to her cuz to initiate convo and find out info on me (he reckons it could be a possibility).
The lack of contact from her to me does that suggest she never loved me in the first place.
Thanks
Arman
torres wrote:
Why not?
You are a registered member, please use our forum, OK?
torres wrote:
You are not following the free plan, you do not worry about what your ex is saying or doing…focus on the plan.
5 fucking days…and you’re ready to quit?
You have to be serious if you want to get your life/ex back.
If you’re going to start whining after 5 days, you’re going to fail.
I gave you a free plan, and free tools, if you want predictions I suggest a Psychic Network.
Stay Strong,
S.W.
Hey havnt heard from her since the no contact msg will be two weeks on tuesday
one of my mates told me even tho I didn’t wanna
knw that she told him that she was happy with
the way I was coping and that she has moved
on and I shud move on. She is so much happier etc
..What do I do I am physically looking better my days are better. How do I contact her or shud I wait????
torres wrote:
2 weeks doesn’t mean shit, you planted a seed, give it time to grow, be patient.
torres wrote:
Your “mate” and your ex could both be full of shit.
Don’t listen to hearsay, it’s only words.
torres wrote:
Do not contact her, and tell your mate to keep his information to himself.
Beware your “so-called mates” people like to fuck with other peoples lives like it was their own private TV show.
You have a plan…follow it.
You have a goal…work towards it.
Don’t let words stand in your way…you can do it!
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hey there,
How are u? Hope ur doin well
My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. It came outta nowhere coz up till that point, the relationship was going pretty good. Then suddenly, he dropped off the radar. i did not hear from him for over a month. I had also left on my vacation at that time. When I got back, he told me that “it just happened” with someone else. Someone that he was starring to get close to prob in Oct but I din ask him ny questions about it coz it just seemed like a friendly thing at the time. So yea. Basically i got dumped. He said that he din know how to tell me and he din wanna hurt me and he din wanna lose me (huh?! wat did he expect???) and basically did not know what to do. I said some things to him and told him to stay away from me. I deleted him off facebook and also deleted his number.
About 10 days later, I sent the NC letter via facebook. He responded and basically said ok. I did not reply to that. About a week later, which was this past friday, he sends me an sms “how u doin? hope ur fine. Just wanted to check on u.” WAT THE….. I dunno wat to do now and I dunno wat his intentions are.
…oops I forgot to mention that we had been together for a little over a year. Thanks!
Melissa wrote:
Did you send the recommended NC message from the free plan…word for word?
Melissa wrote:
If you sent the proper (effective) NC message, then go ahead and follow all the rest of the steps in the free plan.
The plan will reveal his “true” intentions.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hi S.W,
Thanks for your reply!
Yes i sent the exact NC letter from the free plan and i am following the rest of the plan as well.
Th thing is, I just wanna know why he sent me that message and wat does it mean… I guess I just need some kind of affirmation or something. Any ideas?
Again thank you so much for your reply!
melissa wrote:
He was just “testing the waters” to see if you were really serious about the no contact message you sent.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Thanks S.W!
It’s been 4 days since I sent the nc message. Before I sent it, he was texting often but now nothing. I see him in school and he’s acting cocky and trying to talk to him. I’m polite but don’t get into any long conversations with him. And he does his best to overhear my conversations with other people. I don’t know what to think? And I found out he was sitting with another girl at a basketball game. I know I shouldn’t worry about what he’s doing but I can’t help it. Trying to stay strong! Any ideas why he’s acting so cocky in school around me? That’s not how he usually acts.
Annie2010 wrote:
Hi Annie,
He is over compensating for a bruised ego.
You kicked his ass with the no contact message, let him evolve, and focus on your own personal evolution.
I know it’s hard, but nothing worth doing is ever really easy…is it?
Stay Strong!
S.W.
P.S. Maybe you could find someone else to sit with at the basketball game…maybe another guy?
Get out there and spread some of that “Annie magic” around. ;)
S.DUBB WASSUP ? IM FEELING GOOD MAN , I PUT NC IN PLACE LAST WEEK FOR THE LASTIME ND STARTED FORCING MYSELF TO BREAK OUT THE ” I DONT HAVE MY GIRLFRIEND SHELL ” , AND AT FIRST IT FELT LIKE HELL , BUT NOW IM STARTING TO GET MY CONFIDENCE ND SWAGGER BACK . TODAY WAS 2/10/2010 AND WHEN ME ND MY EX WERE GING OUT , EVERYBODY KNEW OUR MOTTO WAS ” 21O LIVIN’” , IT WAS CALLED THIS BECAUSE OUR FAVORITE #S WERE 2&1O SO WE JUST PUT IT 2GETHER , EVERY1 LOVED OUR MOTTO . 2/1O IS LIKE A HOLIDAY FOR US , SO THIS MORNIN I SENT HER A TEXT SAYING IMA PUT MY EGO TO THE SIDE AND SAY HAPPY 2/1O TO YOU ND W.E , ENJOY THE RESTYA DAY. . AND HER REPLY WAS HAPPY 2/1O TO YOU 2 BBY , I WAS SURPRISED WHEN SHE SAID BBY BECAUSE DURING THE WEEK B4 I STOPPED CONTACTING HER , SHE WAS VERY HARSH WIT ME AND WAS TRYNA STEP ON ME . SO I TEXTED LOL NOW IM A BBY , AND SHES LIKE YOULL ALWAYS BE MY BBY THE NLY REASON WE DONT TALK IS CAUSE U CANT HANDLE BEING FRIENDS . AND I TEXTED YEAH . & SHES LIKE OKAY SO HAVE A GREAT DAY AND I TEXTED VICE VERSA . I KNOW BECAUSE SHE CALLED ME BBY THAT NC IS WORKING SOME , AND MY PLAN WAS TO NOT GET IN CONTACT AT ALL FOR LIKE ANOTHER MONTH , WE THAT NEW HAIRSTYLE I ALWAYS WANTED ND BY THEN MY NEW SELF SHOULD BE IN FULL EFFECT . DOES THAT SOUND ABOUT RIGHT ? ANY TIPS BOSS MAN ?
chris wrote:
Yeah, stop contacting her, you’re fucking up NC and the plan.
She still wants to be friends because she does not take your attempts at no contact seriously at all…I wonder why?
Take Care,
S.W.
Thanks Scott. I do believe you are right about my ex over compensating. It’s nice to have a male’s perspective bc some times it’s hard to figure out what you men are thinking. lol
No school today due to a winter storm. School will be interesting tomorrow bc a really cute guy left a message on my fb. He called me a cutie and asked me what was up. I know my ex is looking at my profile daily. I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes. NC is really not that hard if you keep the end result in mind. Good luck to everyone.
Hi,
We had broken of about 5 months back and for about 1 month we had no contact.
And I initiated the contact after 1 month and he agreed to be frnds with me.He was having issues with his job and i stayed through it advising him and all.All of this was happring through chats only.
After like 3 weeks of that I asked him to have dinner. He agreed but dropped about giving some reason or the other 2 times. And the third time we went for coffee and it was just a 30 mins thing. I could feel the uneasiness wen i came face to face with him. He tried paying for my coffee which i refused and tried his best to show his chivalry which he never used to when we were dating.
One of the days when i had called him up to chat . He got too rude with me for no reason and yelled out at me saying” i should nt expect anything from him.thats why we arent toghtr. he went on talking and accusing and scolding. I kept silent didnt say a word until he stopped and asked ” say something.. Y are u silent. we always have differnece of opion so blurt it out “. i just said” sometimes silence is the best answer” . he was like “fine” . It just hurts me thaat he treats me like I have done all the wrng when we was the one who lied ot me and cheated me. I am not sure f he is dating his EX who has come to our town now.. she was one of the reasons we broke up.
After he quit his job ( we used to work in the same office) . we started txting each other. That too was intitated by me. he started responding and it went on for 2 weeks until this monday.
I dnt knw what got into me and I felt so irritated by how this was progressing.I lashed back though he asked to go to sleep and i would feel better and all. After some more txts he finally blurted out ” i cant be the normal with you becoz of our past. it is going to take time for me to be friends with u… gudnite”
I replied back saying ” U think i have taken out the past .Both of us are in the sam eplace,same spot,same emotuons, same mixed feelings. we dont even knw wat we want. we dnt even knw y we are talkin to eah ohter.?? i am so confused rite now. I need a break.. gudnite and goodbye”……. He responded saying ” U r rite, we need a break… mayb we shdnt be communicating for a while… take care.. gudbye”
I responded back saying ” if u get the answers for the Qs (as to why we are interacting with each other) contact me… Goodbye”
I dont knw if I did the right thing. I dont knw what i need to do next. someone please help me
casper wrote:
This is exactly what the free plan, and using NC “correctly” is all about…getting past the old failed relationship.
Once the past is gone you can be even more than “friends” if you want to, in the meantime stop trying to reconnect, or to stay friends with your ex.
The BEST way to do that is to use the free plan on my Blog, you will find the link under “Pages” on the upper right hand side.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hey scott, people keep saying that if you understand why a break up happened it helps you evole in yourself and helps you move and become a better person but i dont actually no why we have broken up as he never gave me a reason he just said all i need to no is hes happy how he is and he cant help how he feels but he does love me and wants to be with me but he cant see us being happy as its all him even tho we have a child together and he talked about a future with me then week later broke up. i just think he doesnt want the responsbility of a family and hes scared of being commited
Gem wrote:
I think you’re right…sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me.
But at least now, you “DO” know why you broke up, so now you can keep on evolving.
Your personal evolution is all about discovery, if you find yourself, the rest will follow.
There is no way you would have to wait to hear from him to move on with your life, you can do it by yourself.
The secret is once you have your life back, your ex will want to come back too…watch, you’ll see.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
well tomorrow is the day I meet up with my ex. things got confusing in my head tho, she was calling me honey and told me she went thru all the divorce crap and now someone else is going to get me she acted like she wanted to get back with me but then she said she wanted to stay friends but not be boy and girl friend so I said no to that and we had are words she calls me back said she didnt like the way the conversation went then I said I was glad I knew where she was at and now I can let go because I cant hold on forever and she started crying and said she would call me back
well I went out with my ex yesterday and did not adhere to any of the plan I was helpless I just wanted to stay with her. we went to lunch and had a great time, she was very emotional and crying, she didnt want to leave either she said she wanted to stay friends, so i said that if she felt she could love me again I would stay friends, she didnt answer to that and got teary so I didnt push it, then she wanted to go for a drink, so I went, she said I sucked I told her I missewd her and she told me she missed me, she grabbed my hands and held them and was once again very emotional she was hugging me and crying on my shoulder, then I brought her home and she asked me ion to see her dog I went in and we were all over each other then sex and she told me nobody can make her feel the way i do repeatedly then I was leaving and I asked once again can you love me again with once again no answer. I talked to her today and she said shes just numb and in a funk.
if you are numb she didnt act it
scott please instruct me on this one I promise I will follow the plan now if thats where im at
big daddy wrote:
Hi BD,
I have been trying to instruct you, but you’re not ready to follow the plan…are you ready now?
If so, go start from the beginning of the free plan…like it was day one and you didn’t do anything wrong.
Then just send the recommended NC message word for word, and follow the rest of the steps.
Someone has to be strong in this situation, and it looks like that part falls on you…can you handle it?
You’re going to have to kick her ass to wake her up, and then leave her alone, and start your own personal evolution.
This is all about you and getting your life back, not getting her back, the sooner you realize that, the faster you will progress.
The break up world is like Bizarre-o World…nothing works the same as it does in the real world…trust me on that, OK?
Stay Strong!
S.W.
I thought i was ready im in great shape but i lifted weights my whole life my job is good I just seen her and realized how much I really do love her
you say its not to get my ex back but my life back and your blog is called how to get your ex back fast ?
big daddy wrote:
That is because the fastest way to get your ex back, is to get your life back first.
Plus, no one searches for how to get your life back after a break up…why?
Because they believe that they have to get their ex back to get their life back, and be happy again.
That is not at all true, and there is where the problems lies.
If you follow the plan, and get your life back…your ex will come running.
I have seen it happen…it works.
I would not spend the time I do on my Blog, and in our forum if I didn’t believe this plan worked.
big daddy wrote:
Staying in good physical shape is hard work, but nothing compared to getting into emotional shape, and that is what the free plan, and your personal evolution is all about.
If you want to kick loves ass, you have to be strong as hell emotionally, not physically.
There is a method to my madness.
The free plan is there when you’re ready to follow it.
Take Care,
S.W.
Very well said scott thank you for that break down, but this girl has made me mentally broken down and it seems im way better off in no contact.
great blog you are good
Mr Williams it will be three weeks of no contact on
Tommorow I find myself talking less about her and thinking far less about her.
At times tho when I do thunk about hher it brings me totally down
I’m in great physical and mental state at the month
Well majority of the time. Had no contact from her
Yet nt sure if I should make contact I feel mentally ready
What’s the next step boss man or do I give it more time of no contact????
I look forward to your response sir??
torres wrote:
torres wrote:
3 weeks is NOT enough time…aim for more like 3 months, and see how you feel by then.
There is no rush, don’t kid yourself about being ready, even a simple cut takes a couple weeks to fully heal.
A broken heart takes a lot more time to heal, understand?
Just focus on your personal evolution, and have fun, OK?
Stay Strong!
S.W.
I think this length of time of no contact confirms
she did not really love me
I was being so stupid thinking she loved me, she didn’t and that’s that.
Apologies for putting this down here it just hit me.
TOO ALL MY FELLOW PEOPLE THAT ARE TRYIN TO GET YOUR EX BACK ,IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GET THEM BACK FOLLOW S.DUBBS ADVICE AND GET YOUR LIFE BACK FIRST. YOU WERE ONCE “THE SHIT” B4 U MET YOUR EX AND YOU CAN BE “THE SHIT” WITHOUT YOUR EX , GET YOUR LIFE AND SMILE BACK AND WHENEVER U CHILL WITCHA EX SHE’LL BE MORE ATTRACTED AND YOULL HAVE A WAY BETTER CHANCE ! ITS HARD AS FUCK TO GET BACK ON YOUR SHIT BUT STICK IN THERE AND FIND YOUR TRUE SELF AGAIN !!!!! YOO S-DUBB , IF A GIRL THATS MY EX’S BESTIE HITS ME UP AND WERE TEXTING AND W.E AND STARTS ASKING QUESTIONS LIKE HOW THE SINGLE LIFE AND DO YOU HAVE ANY NEW GIRLS OR W.E HOW SHOULD I ANSWER OR RESPOND TO ALL THAT ?
LIVESTRONG wrote:
Very carefully…she’s fishing for information to feed your ex.
I would tell her I don’t feel like talking about that, and change the subject…but don’t ask about your ex either, understand.
Keep both them chicks in the dark, where they belong.
If she starts feeding you (probably misinformation) updates about what your ex is doing or saying, do the same thing, change the subject.
Women like to fuck around in other women’s business
(it’s like a hobby), let her practice her hobby somewhere else, OK?
Stay Strong!
S.W.
SCOT!!!
ITS WORKING!!!!!
HE CONTACTED ME…TODAY!!
AFTER 40 DAYS OF NC!!!!
HE PINGED ME AT YAHOO MESSENGER WHICH I IGNORED AND AGAIN HE PINGED ME THERE WHICH I AGAIN IGNORED.
HE 1CE AGAIN PINGED ME WHICH I ANSWERED SAYING I WAS BUSY.
AND THEN HE SPOKE…IO TOO RESPONDED AND IT WAS ALL GNRALL STUFFS.
CRICKET, WORK, FAMILY AND WATS HAPPENING SORT OFS.
THEN HE TRIED TALKING ABOUT THE ” i need to take some imp decisions and pls dont contact me/…”.
i said ya i am still taking those decisions. he didnt ask wat.
THEN HE IS LIKE… SORRY U ASKED ME NOT TO BUT THEN I CUDNT RESIST PINGING U HERE IN YM AS I HEARD ABOUT THE MUMBAI BLASTS. WAS WORRIED U ARE SAFE OR NOT.
(scott, hope u all know the act of terrorisms going on in india by the pakistani terrorists. and there was a blast here last week with 13 casualties so far.)
so then i said i am all fyn. need not worry.
HE KEPT ON ASKING…”HOW ARE U?? ARE U FYN?? HOW HAVE U BEEN??”
I SAID I AM VER BUSY AND REALLY FYN.
I ACTED NON CHALANT BLV ME. DIDNT ASK ANYTHING IN RETURN BUT HER KEPT ON STRETCHING THE CONVO.
THEN I SAID I GOTTA GO AS I HAVE MY PAPER TOMORROW. HE SAID SURE I WISH U ALL THE BEST AND I WILL CALL U B4 UR PAPER TOMORROW.
PPHHHEEWWWW!!!!
SCOTT…IS IT WORKING??
i mean i know i shudnt get carried away…
and i am not!
tell me scott. what next should i do??
how should i behave and all??
these all came very unexpected but ya, I HAVE SO FAR MAINTAINED THE NO CONTACT VERY SINCERELY.
ZENIA wrote:
It is all laid out in the free plan, read it, and follow the instructions.
Great Job Zenia!
Stay Strong!
S.W.
S Dubb , Today is 2/22/2O1O . . in the relationship i was in the days 2/10 , 2/2 , 10/2 , and 2/22 were considered holidays for us since we loved the #s 2 and 10 so much . Last time i spoke to her was on 2/10 and i said happy 21O , and she said happy 2/1O too u 2 baby , and she didnt call me baby in awhile , prior to that i didnt contact her for about a week b4 i wrote her on 2/10 . Now the thing about it is the same day i wrote her , she wrote me back at after wished each other a happy 2/1o , she wrote me later that night saying “yooo” like she had to tell me something , and i simply texted “yes” than she was like nevermind sorry i even wrote u i apologize for writing u , and i texted “okay” and she said “okay” . I was the one that dumped her tho , and i made needy mistakes pleading and begging before i cut off contact . Is it safe to text her to wish her a happy triple 2 day ?
LIVESTRONG wrote:
Sure, why not?
It doesn’t seem like you are following any sort of plan anyways.
You’re definitely not following any of my advice or the NC strategy.
I am not exactly sure why you even visit my Blog?
Good Luck!
S.W.
YOUR ABSOLUETLY RIGHT , JUST BY READING THE MESSAGE I WROTE U , IT MADE ME FEEL DUMB. I’VE BEEN STRONG FOR 12 DAYS AND I KNOW I CAN KEEP GOING , I GUESS ITS CAUSE OF THE DAY . . IT GOT ME GOING CRAZY INSIDE. IMA STAY STRONG AND CONTINUE WORKING ON MYSELF BEFORE I WANT TO WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIP.
LIVESTRONG wrote:
Wise Choice!
I have been on this for a while now and I keep screwing this up. I have now had to send a 4th NC message plus I spent the whole weekend out at his parents place with him and his new gf. It was akward for me but im sure it was for him and especially her. He told me he didnt care if i still hung out with his family and his family has told me numerous times that I can still see them. I just feel that this weekend has most definatly ended my chances with him. He was all over her the whole weekend and regardless of his whole family hopeing we get back together I am going to have to do a whole lot of self evolving and ex avoiding. No pain no gain, but i really think to him it doesnt matter that i dont want to have contact with him. He has messaged me a few times through out my last 3 but I think its just to rub something in my face. I still dont know why I still like him, I guess im just determined to get what I want. at the same time Im what is stopping me from achieving that. How many times does one send this before it no longer effects the other party.
Im in no contact after seeing her last weekend after 4 months, she was very emotional and holding my hands crying then great sex at her place then she texts me the next day saying she just wants to be friends but crying as she says it ? so i sent no contact know shes calling and texting like crazy wtf do i do ???
Big Daddy wrote:
Keep following the steps in the free plan, there is a lot more to do after you send the NC message.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Anna wrote:
I have no idea…why?
Because everyone who hasn’t given up, has succeeded.
You learned a valuable lesson, start over and get it right this time, stay the fuck away from him and his family…it is for your own good.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
but I done it all in the 4 months that I havent seen her and we just had are first date what was with all of that emotion and shit
your saying everyone who has stayed strong has got there ex back ?
Big Daddy wrote:
You obviously did not do it correctly or you wouldn’t be in the position you’re in right now.
Read the free plan, and follow all the steps.
Big Daddy wrote:
First they got their life back, and then they got their ex back.
About 40% of them decided they didn’t want their ex back, even though now their ex is begging them to come back.
All these stories are on my Blog, and in our forum.
wow thats very comforting to hear I didnt read them storys in the blog.
Yes when we met I told her i loved her what a softy
Big Daddy wrote:
They are posted in the Relationship Rescue Success Stories forum, and under Real Life Testimonials (at the top) on my Blog.
why would she want to be friends ?
she sent me this last night ,
Hey!
I just wanted say congratulations!!! I think you’ve worked really hard for this and it will pay off. I hope it all went ok. I want to call and see how you are but I don’t know if you want the call. I just wanted drop a quick note and say hi and congrats and I’m really happy for you.
Well, have a great night or morning and I’ll talk to you when you want.
Love
*****
And she texted me to tell me she sent it
Big Daddy wrote:
To keep you on a leash, and to get laid when she is feeling down, and then kick your ass to the curb after you boost her ego.
You have a choice, friends with benefits, or a relationship, or nothing at all.
Just follow the plan, and fucking ignore her for crying out loud.
Can’t you tell when you’re being “played”?
I have given you all the advice you need, follow it, or find somewhere else to ask all your questions, OK?
This shit is getting real old.
Hey Scott
just 2 comments back here, i wrote that he contacted me twice ..via yahoo messenger though and he was all sweet and cordial and curious about wassup with me ( and also whether i am dating and all). its been 4 days after that but neither have i contact him nor did he after that.
i mean i thot he would call or somthing…not just ping me whenever i get online in yahoo.
should i wait for him to call or contact me again or should i do it?
i went through the “free plan” many times and have grabbed up what all in there but didnt get the answer to this querry so thot to ask u here.
looking forward for ur furthur guidance as so far i have followed your advice in each and every step i took.
P.S. i have so far been successfully able to maintain the NC, initiating it weith the reccomended NC msg, since 45 days now.
ZENIA wrote:
Hi,
If you were as dedicated to following directions, and sticking to NC as you were to bugging me to answer questions you would be much better off.
Did you respond to his contact?
If you did you broke no contact, and much too soon, it takes 60-90 days at least (if not much longer in some cases) to get your life back as a single person.
This is THE MOST IMPORTANT GOAL, not when can I reconnect with my ex, understand?
If you have broken contact you need to start all over again, and send the recommended NC message (word for word).
ZENIA wrote:
What about the forum…have you bothered to read the forum?
Have you even joined the forum?
After reading the free plan “many times”, did you catch the part about using the forum for support?
Obviously not or you would have helped yourself instead of whining to me for help…this is a FREE self-help system, start helping yourself.
If you had bothered to read the forum, you would have noticed I answered this stupid question many times.
But I have to answer it yet again, because some people are too fucking lazy to help themselves, and like to waste other people’s time…it’s all about them.
Do you know why there is nothing to cover this question in the free plan?
Because there is no answer to it.
You’re supposed to continue your personal evolution (as stated in the free plan) until you feel ready to contact your ex.
If you had followed the directions in the free plan, and joined the forum, and read the others NC diaries you would know this.
You start NC, you decide when to break NC and start the reconnection phase.
If the reconnection fails, you start over and stick to NC longer this time, until you either move on, or reconnect with your ex…simple enough?
How is another person outside of your relationship supposed to know when you are ready?
Judging by all your panicky questions, you are far from ready for reconnection anyways.
45 days is not enough time to personally evolve.
If you broke NC, start over.
If you didn’t, continue to stay in NC for another couple months until you don’t have to ask me anymore questions like this, and you feel ready to reconnect.
All this information is freely available in the free plan, and all over our forum.
More reading, and following instructions, less panicky questions, and you will evolve much faster.
Only insecure people break NC too early (and ask questions like this), and if you’re insecure, then you have not personally evolved past your old relationship.
Stick to NC, learn to help yourself, and stop bugging me, OK?
This is the last question I am going to answer, you have used up your allotment.
I supply people with the FREE TOOLS to TEACH THEMSELVES “how to kick loves ass”, I don’t do it for them, understand?
I am only one man, trying to help many people…give me a fucking break.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hi Scott,
Ok, so I was worried when you said in one response of my last posts (a couple of weeks ago) that it sounded like I might be slipping into the friends zone. I had applied NC and my ex contacted me after 30 days, we had coffee and he asked if he could borrow a book. He said ’see you soon’ and didn’t make any further plans.
In an attempt to remedy any potential for him to put in the friend category, the following week I politely distanced myself from him (we work in similar locations and bump into each other a lot), and let him initiate greetings etc. The week after that he contacted me asking for the book again, which is a ruse for something as he can easily get from the library or bookstore (it’s not a rare item). We had a brief chat and my friends noticed he kept looking over at me when I wasn’t looking at him afterwards. I still haven’t given him the book, and he suggested we meet for coffee again this week.
Does this progress sound promising? I’m not initiating any contact, and not showing as much general interest in him, as he is in me.
Do you have any suggestions for our next coffee meeting? I feel this is painfully slow, but that’s how it should be, right?
Thanks.
Oh and should I be interpreting these coffee meetings as dates? Opinion seems to be divided on this point. I obviously would like them to be, but I probably shouldn’t delude myself!
Sandy wrote:
Did you follow the free plan on my Blog, and send the recommended NC message word for word?
If not you did not use NC correctly.
Also 30 days is NEVER enough time to put the old failed relationship behind you, and make room for a new one.
Sandy wrote:
I think he is just trying to get into your pants.
He can tell you still want him, and he is going to use it to his advantage.
Once he “gets” what he wants you will be on the “lets be friends” shelf.
Sandy wrote:
Actually you are moving way too fast (only 30 days NC) and you will get laid out of this, but that’s it.
If all you want is friends with benefits, keep playing the “I got your book game”, and good luck.
If you want the best results, re-initiate NC correctly (as outlined in the free plan), and follow the free plan correctly.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hey. What do you do if your ex broke up with you and then you havn’t heard from them since. Not even valentines day. I have concentrated on me for a month and then sent the NC letter. But i have not heard anything back. It’s been a week after the 1 month. Really worried that he ain’t coming back. I wish i could show him this confident new me!
Shaan wrote:
Are you following the free plan on my Blog?
If so, keep following all the rest of the steps, and continue to focus on your personal evolution.
This process can take 3-6 months or more, and if you’re serious about getting your ex back, you will stick to the plan, right?
If you have not followed the free plan, then read it now, and send the recommended NC message (word for word) as outlined in the free plan, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
Hey there. I sent this message after the 1 month. I had already paid for the ex recovery system before i saw ur site so i had sent this. Should i just break all contact again now? What do you think?
Hi x,
I know things have not been too great between us. I would like to apologise for the way it all turned out.
I hope you are doing well;) you’ve always been very strong, something i’ve always admired (inspite of your stubborn Torro side) so I know you’ll be just fine. But I am moving on with my life.
There has been a whirlwind of things happening lately and it’s pretty crazy. All good fun!
Maybe we can catch up in the future. For now, though, I think you need your space. Call me if you would like to chat.
Take Care of yourself
Be happy
ps we were together for 6 years off and on..mostly on!
Shaan wrote:
I have already told you what I think.
Read my fucking reply, OK?
i did lol! but what i’m confused about is do i send your no contact letter as well now or do i just leave it?
HELP!!!!
S.DUBB WHAT’S UP MAN , IM NOT HERE TO WHINE OR COMPLAIN BECAUSE I KNOW THATS NOT GONNA DO ME ANY GOOD . I PUT NC INTO PLACE FOR THE LAST TIME 8 DAYS AGO , I BEEN GETTING MYSELF BACK. YESTERDAY I WAS WITH MY CUSINS AND I PICKED UP TO HOT BABES AND TALKED THEM INTO GIVING US ORAL SEX AND REGULAR SEX ONLY A COUPLE MINS AFTER MEETING THEM. I HAVE BEEN READING SOME SELF HELP BOOKS , ND BOOKS ON WHAT GIRLS ADMIRE ABOUT REAL MEN . IM NOT GONNA LIE THO , THE AMOUNT OF SUCCESS IM HAVING WITH GIRLS NOW IS IN THE POWER OF MY HANDS BUT SOME DAYS I JUST FEEL DOWN FOR NO REASON , ITS LIKE SOME DAYS IM EXTREMELY CONFIDENT AND SOME DAYS ITS JUST LIKE UGHH WHERE’S MY REAL GIRL. SIGH . IMA STICK THRU THIS UNTIL I GET MYSELF BACK COMPLETLY , AND PUT EVERYTHING IM LEARNING INTO PLACE WITH MY EX. JUST KEEPIN U UPDATED, ANY TIPS WOULD BE HIGHLY APPRECIATED . LIVESTRONG
liveSTRONG wrote:
Dating isn’t a bad thing, but if you whore around too much your ex might not want you back.
Just live life, and let time pass so the old failed relationship can die and fade away.
Then you can use chapter 6 in the book MOMU, and start the reconnection phase.
As long as you leave your ex alone, and stick to the plan you should be alright.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
she sent me this then met me and took me home and had me spend the night with her. I am totally confused what am I dealing with here ? plus shes says her family hates me now.
Big Daddy
When all this happened between us I was beside myself. I had so much anger and hurt inside of me that something switched off. I mean completely switched off. You witnessed it yourself when you saw the “lightswitch” turn off. I turned every ounce of faith, trust or hope in relationships off.
You know my history with men and you were subconsciously my last hope and everything lie you told I kept holding on because I loved you more than anyone I ever have loved. But I broke, it was the last I could handle and when it went down the way it did and I felt so hurt that it did something to me emotionally. I have never experienced this before and I can’t stand it but I can’t change it.
I imagine myself with you and I like it, but there’s this other side to me, that emotionally disconnected side that has overpowered everything. So here I am just as confused as you.
So I go back and forth in my head on what to do. I know that if I let you let me go I will probably be making a mistake. But I also know that if I let you think we can be together, you won’t see the same Nadia you used to know. I have changed and there’s nothing I can do about it. All I want to do is be alone. Sometimes I just don’t answer my phone to ANYONE for days. I don’t like to go out, I don’t like to be around people or get to close to anyone and my tolerance for anything I don’t like has completely diminished.
When this all went down, I tried to go out and have a good time and forget about you but it got old and it didn’t even work. I’ve met other guys but there is not one person that has even come close to touching my heart like you did. YES, I did let you go but only partially because when I tried to move on the only one I thought about was you and no one compared to how you make me feel.
So should you let go and move on? I don’t know? I know that I can’t dive into what we were. I know that I have no interest in being with anyone because of this severe block that I have inside of me. I in no way want to tell you to wait for me because I don’t know how long it will be until I’m ready for what you need. Is it fair of me to say wait for me? NO, it’s not and I would never ask it of you. Am I dreading telling
When we met up the other night, it was almost like we picked up where we left off (the good part). I felt the same passion, chemistry, and love that I fell for you with. I know how hard you’ve worked to get your shit strait. It’s so obvious and I am so proud of you. I mean literally everyone knows how I still feel about you.
What scares me is that I have this inside me, this block, this emptiness and as hard as it is to admit, coldness and because I have seen how capable I am to turn on and off like a switch, I could do it again. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know how much time I can spend with a single person. God John, imagine if I did it again? Just turn off like that for whatever reason, and put us, or you through what I did before ALL over again? I’m so so scared. I’m scared of myself. Presently my cold, empty distant self has taken over and I can’t change it. And I can’t drag you along with me, you mean too much to me but I want to but that’s me being selfish expecting you to wait, expecting you to give me my space, expecting everything to be in my terms and how can I expect that of you?
I never have or never will play with your heart. I’m battling two seriously strong elements and I feel sick on a daily basis. When I talk to you or when I was with you I have that love and yearning for you, that’s why I’ve been selfish and telling you SLOW slow slow because it’s me trying to have faith in a possible future, but how long will it take to get back to normal? Can I get back to normal? I don’t know? And that’s when it kills me to say to you to move on but I feel like I have to because I can’t drag you my fucked up psychological problems.
Take it how you want but this is everything that is going through my head. And please know John that before I saw you last weekend I wasn’t “seeing” anyone anymore. I have been alone and will be alone for a VERY long, long time.
Guess that’s it and I’m sorry I really can’t help it.
Big Daddy wrote:
Sounds like she could use a Psychiatrist, not a boyfriend.
You are not following any of my advice, why do you even bother to post on my Blog?
I think you need the kind of help, and advice that I can not offer on my Blog.
Sorry man, but I can not help you.
Good Luck!
S.W.
Scott I love your advice and I am adjusting the no contact letter and sending off tonight. I was fine until she reconnected with me just to torture me again,Now I have to go thru it all over again I ndidnt think it would be this hard the second time around
Big Daddy wrote:
It is better if you “don’t” adjust the NC message.
This chick needs to be left alone until she stops feeling sorry for herself, and stops dragging other people into her “self sustained” nightmare.
We “all” have problems to deal with, myself included, but crying about them never seems to work.
You have to suck it up, and kick some ass “figuratively, not literally”.
That is how I am dealing with my problems, and it is working, that is why I recommend that other people do the same.
You can’t win if you don’t fight back, even Gandhi (a man of peace) did it with civil disobedience.
The free plan is about fighting back, and regaining your life again, untangle yourself from other peoples problems, and deal with your own.
Get your life back, and then make the decision of what to do next with this relationship.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
thank you so much scott I find myself very much in love with this girl and am going to have a very hard time with this but you are so rite If were meant to be we will be I will send the message unchanged
Big Daddy wrote:
Great Job BD!
my boyfriend and i broke up over a month ago. it was mutual, and ended on a good note. there was just too much going on for the both of us to make it work at that time. i was doing all the wrong things the first couple of weeks, until i found the website for the book “the magic of making up.” and then i found scott and this blog! i come to this blog and refer back to the book OFTEN just to review and make sure that i’m doing everything okay, AND for some support! i sent the NC message a few weeks after we had broken up. it was HARD, but i was taking that time to work on the things that i had been neglecting. i really let myself get too comfortable, and my anxieties were taking over my happiness, and i’d take all of my frustrations out on my ex JUST because i was mad at myself. after three weeks went by, he called me. i did not respond until i felt comfortable enough. we spoke briefly, and my attitude was upbeat and aloof, and i wasn’t even faking it! i’ve lost weight, joined a zumba class, and i basically do anything that i get the chance to do just to get myself out there. he contacted me again about a week later, but through text. i did not respond right away, i was busy. i waited about an hour and told him i had so much going on, and asked if i could call him later, and he was all about it! i waited almost 2 days and gave him a call. his phone kept cutting out, but he continued calling me back, and then proceeded to try and text me afterwards and i told him i had to get going and we’d speak later. just yesterday morning we spoke again, and he said that he misses me and my family. i told him that this time apart has been difficult, but the best thing for me. he said that we’ll see how things work out for us, and that he’s taking this time to himself, too. i told him that’s perfectly fine and what i want right now. throughout the day he proceeded to text me again and again and again.
i really want to be ready when we do get back together. i don’t want to fall back into the same routine as before, so i’m making sure that i am strong the next time around, and that i work on everything i have to work on, not just for the relationship’s sake, but for my own sake. the break up was hard, but it was also the best thing that could have happened to me. i’ve been doing so well. i honestly believe that everything happens for a reason, and i have so much hope for the future. thank you so much
That is so hopeful, I have accidentally been doing the things suggested in the plan. However I have had moments where I have had contact with him and it was okay, but I like the strength the NC gives me and I do have much to work on. I think my ex is a good guy, that is why I would even consider having him back.Thanks for the boost.
So it has been 2 and a half weeks, 4th time with NC. This time around has been completly different but in a good way. I have started to actually go out and have a good time and not just a fake good time but actually a good time. Everyone has noticed a change in me and its great because I cant pin point what has happened to me I just know it feels great. Most people tell me its because I am better off without him and have told me he was dragging me down.
Anyways,I have been on like 2 dates and the more I talk to other guys the more it makes me miss him because every guy seems to be not what im looking for, probably because i keep trying to find him in another guy, it sucks.
I still have hope that he loves me and that somewhere deep down inside he knows that he isnt supposed to be with his new gf, but i think im just dilusional. I am no longer heartbroken and im enjoyin my life, I just wish he was around to tell all the great things that are happening.
I have no idea how he is feeling about all of this and it is bothering me. I havent had any real contact with his family. I think I am starting not to care whether or not he comes back. Its hard but at the same time not. I dont think i will have gave him enough time to figure everything out in the following 2 and a half weeks, but im kinda excited to actually talk to him and not just know whats happening from what people tell me. How am i going to know if i dont stick to this. You site is great and I thank you. I think I would have eventually got to where i am but most certainly not as quick. I find I no longer need to blog every day on the forum now to feel alright with the decision. I secretly hope there is still something there, but im almost to the point of being alright if there isnt.