Does My Ex Miss Me? – How to Get My Ex Boyfriend Back

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Making your ex miss you is your first step in how to “get my ex boyfriend back” again. “Well, does my ex miss me?” Don’t you think a better question would be how do I make “my ex boyfriend” miss me?

Step 1 – Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

The easiest way to make your ex boyfriend miss you is to disappear from his radar. If you are constantly in his face asking about the break up, and when will you get back together again. He is not going to start to miss you, make sense? If you start to pull away from him he will notice, and wonder why. Now you have started to turn the tables, and you are back on his mind again…even if he is dating another woman.

Another way to get the ball rolling is to use the no contact rule, and send an effective NC message. A correctly written NC message will flip your ex boyfriend’s switch, and make him start to miss you even faster, sound good? It should, and if you don’t use a no contact message you will be setting yourself back, so don’t be afraid to send it. So, “does my ex miss me?” Well, if he doesn’t he soon will after you finish learning how to “get my ex boyfriend back.”

Step 2 – Reconnect With Your Boyfriend

Once you have been following a good plan using the no contact rule things will begin to evolve nicely. Your ex boyfriend will start coming around more, and you will take back more and more control…the right way. Getting your ex boyfriend back requires a good balance between pushing and pulling..what do I mean? You need to keep him interested enough without falling back into the friends with benefits zone.

You will become very good at this because during your NC period you would have been following a series of exercises designed to give you back your confidence, and self control. The needy, scared little girl he broke up with no longer exists. “Does my ex miss me?” I would say he not only misses you, but loves this new woman you have become. You personally and emotionally evolving is how to “get my ex boyfriend back”, and how to get him back and keep him forever.

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008 to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free plan to get your ex back fast, and start getting your life back today. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.

Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.

If this article was useful or helpful to you in anyway, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.

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310 Responses to “Does My Ex Miss Me? – How to Get My Ex Boyfriend Back”

  1. S. Williams says:

    joane wrote:

    Then the other day i wrote
    him an NC message he replies back “I guess the decision to splitup
    was the best thing for us now. Even though it is extremely hard.” He also
    asked if ive moved on or something? and Am i seeing someone now? To
    me he sounds unsure of everything but i didnt reply back letting
    him wonder. Is this a good sign? I also wanted to know how long should i keep the NC rule?

    Hi Joane,

    It sounds like he is very unsure about his decision to break up.

    What NC message did you send, was it the one recommended in the free plan?

    Go read the free plan to get your ex back all the way through, and then start over from the beginning and follow every step.

    If you already sent the recommended NC message (word for word) then skip that part, if you didn’t…send it ASAP.

    NC is not about an amount of time, it is about an evolution, and each one takes as long as that person needs to evolve.

    *Hint-The better you follow the plan without hesitation and mistakes…the faster you will evolve.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  2. joane says:

    hello my name is joane a couple of weeks aho i brokeup wit my ex
    out of anger and mixed emoyions. It was the biggest mistake I’ve
    ever made i tried to work things out but he rejected saying hes not
    ready for a relationship and meeds space. I finally agreed and gave Jim
    space he recently text me for Christmas calling me sweety and in one
    note he sayed sweet dreams which he only said when we were together.
    i wanted to know does he still still love me? Then the other day i wrote
    him an NC message he replies back “I guess the decision to splitup
    was the best thing for us now. Even though it is extremely hard.” He also
    asked if ive moved on or something? and Am i seeing someone now? To
    me he sounds unsure of everything but i didnt reply back letting
    him wonder. Is this a good sign? I also wanted to know how long should i keep the NC rule?

  3. S. Williams says:

    natalie10 wrote:

    Hi scott u mention that there has to be an equal pushing and pulling in order to keep a man that is were my biggest downfall is .is that to do with me insecurity

    Hi natalie,

    You will over come this, and learn how to do it in time.

    This is not something you can read in a book and then repeat successfully…you have to feel it.

    You must start your personal evolution correctly using NC, and then let yourself evolve for as long as it takes.

    Otherwise you will be doomed to screwing up your relationships from now to until the day you die, understand?

    This free plan to get your ex back, Blog, and forum is for the sole purpose of getting your life back again, and to learn how to handle yourself in a relationship.

    It is not about just getting your ex back…there are steps that need to be taken before that will ever happen, take them first, and succeed…skip them and fail.

    Invest the time now, and live a happier more fulfilled life afterwards.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  4. kel says:

    My ex and I broke up near middle of Oct, nearly January now. Before i found your website, i unfortunately “begged”. But after some sense was knocked into me near November, I don’t contact him at all. He has begun talking to me, every so often. He even told a friend of mine that he somewhat misses me. But that’s all its gotten to. I show him that I’m happy without him, not depressed or angry. I don’t beg for him to come back. When I do talk to him, I show him that I’m happy and doing great.

    I haven’t seen him since he broke up with me. I was supposed to see him through a friend, but plans were canceled.

    Ques I am asking here, what else should I do? and should i send the message, “I’m okay with the break up blah blah” at all now?

    If you can give me any other info/tips/help, that would be greatly appreciated.

  5. natalie10 says:

    Hi scott u mention that there has to be an equal pushing and pulling in order to keep a man that is were my biggest downfall is .is that to do with me insecurity to pull and cling to men if that’s the case do I need to go back an use those free tools in the plan becoz I need to correct this immediatly as its a big issue to me as I’ve done this with every man I’ve bein in a relationship with thannx

  6. S. Williams says:

    kel wrote:

    Ques I am asking here, what else should I do? and should i send the message, “I’m okay with the break up blah blah” at all now?

    Hi kel,

    If you feel the NC message and the free plan is just “blah, blah, blah”, maybe you’re on the wrong website?

    Maybe if you keep searching you can find an “easier” plan to follow.

    I work with “ass kickers” not ass kissers…big difference, especially when it comes to succeeding.

    Come back when you’re ready to kick some ass, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  7. S. Williams says:

    kel wrote:

    However, I did send the full NC message to him via text.

    Hi kel,

    Great Job! (Thumbs High) :)

    Now you have taken the first step, make sure you have read, and understand the whole free plan to get your ex back, and then follow each every step after the NC message.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

    If you ever read some of the assholes comments I have had to deal with on my Blog, you would understand why I get right to the point when people seem doubtful.

  8. li li says:

    Hi Scott….
    So, I’ve been trying to do the no contact thing (we broke up officially Dec 6). Anyway, he has been calling and texting on average once a week. I haven’t been answering the texts (especially because they usually come at 5 am, no idea why). Today he text me to ask can he come by to pick up the last of his belongings from my home. Of course I can’t deny him access to his things. I told him yes and to let me know when he is on the way. How do I handle this meeting to handoff his belongings?

  9. kel says:

    @ S. Williams:
    okay..
    When I put the “blah blah” I wasn’t referring to the information, more the fact I didn’t feel like typing the rest of the message in the blog.
    However, I did send the full NC message to him via text.

  10. S. Williams says:

    li li wrote:

    How do I handle this meeting to handoff his belongings?

    Hi li li,

    You handle it “professionally” make believe it is something you have to do for work, and you want to do it and get it over with as quickly as possible…make sense?

    If you feel like it will be too much for you too handle, have someone else meet with him, or leave his stuff outside when you know he is coming.

    You are NEVER trapped, you control each and every aspect of your life, and he can not make you do anything you don’t want to.

    He will not die without his stuff or else he would have taken it with him when he decided to break up with you, right?

    If you feel like he is going to try to pull some shit to get you to break NC…make alternate plans that will suit you…not him, OK?

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  11. kel says:

    yes, haha I saw some of them. But thank you for the advice.

  12. li li says:

    Professionally, got it! Emotional control. I miss him and I want him back, but I won’t show him that.

  13. S. Williams says:

    li li wrote:

    Professionally, got it! Emotional control. I miss him and I want him back, but I won’t show him that.

    Go Kick His Ass li li!

    Stay Strong!

  14. natalie10 says:

    Yes you r rite I do need this nc time I have found some very usefull tips on confidence with them self help tips I rushed through nc last time now I no why that was a mistake I wasn’t a single inch near ready the key is me first then the ex thanx scott I have the jist at last

  15. Orangepekoooo says:

    Hi Scott :
    Happy New Year !!

    It has been three weeks of NC and I didn’t call my ex at all.
    However, i found out he went out w/ his ex and to L.A w/ his female fds for Xmas. He seems so happy and enjoy his life w/o me.
    We live close,and I see his car is not @ his house most of the time.I start feeling he may have a new gf already. Based on what he does during these three weeks, I really doubt he will miss me. How can he miss me when i know he is so happy with his life w/ his fds or even his ex ?

  16. li li says:

    EX BF came to the house last night to get his things. Kept if very brief. I was polite. He didn’t even sit down. He asked how I was and how my trip home went. I asked him to take a look at the router to my computer that he’d set up previously because it wasn’t working. Long story short, he did and the problem was in the wall not the router. He was there for about 5 minutes total. I think i did ok, but I regret asking him to look at the router. Old habits. However, i didn’t get all misty and emotional. Didn’t talk about the relationship. I didn’t have verbal diarrhea, nor did I ask him lots of things about him. What do you think scott? i can’t tell if its working or if i am working against it.

  17. S. Williams says:

    Orangepekoooo wrote:

    It has been three weeks of NC and I didn’t call my ex at all.

    Hi OP,

    First, 3 weeks isn’t shit…you just started NC so don’t get all jumpy, OK?

    You didn’t “find out” shit…you are spying.

    If you’re friends are feeding you this stuff it is 99% lies, tell them to mind their own fucking business.

    Second, you are spying on your ex and making assumptions.

    Assumptions you can not prove…so what’s the point?

    Refresh my memory so I can find the step in the plan that tells you to spy on your ex and fill your head with a bunch of negative bullshit?

    If you want to fail…continue doing what you’re doing.

    You are on the right track.

    If you want to succeed, stop acting like a baby, and start following the steps as outlined in the free plan to get your ex back…OK?

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  18. S. Williams says:

    li li wrote:

    What do you think scott? i can’t tell if its working or if i am working against it.

    Hi li li,

    I think that you’re on your way.

    You handled everything well, now let NC do it’s work while you and your ex personally evolve past your old failed relationship.

    Great Job li li! (Thumbs High) :)

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  19. natalie10 says:

    Hi scott u say that when u send ur recommended nc message to your ex its gives him a sucker punch what does that actually mean an if he is with another girl how can she sense I’m pulling him back thanx

  20. S. Williams says:

    @ natalie10:
    These things are explained in the free plan to get your ex back, and in the many Blog posts about NC.

    If you really want to learn quickly join our forum and interact with the other members instead of “hiding” on my Blog posting comments.

  21. Anna says:

    I’m scared that I have waited to long to send my NC message. He has pretty much cut me out now. He is annoyed with me and keeps telling me to get a hold of him for coffee then never following through with the plans. Im scared to send it because i fear people are right that i will get over him and find out that he isnt the one for me. I also fear that maybe at the end of it i will find out he is the one and he will still no longer have feelings for me. In my mind im almost certain that he has made up his mind and will not give into anything i plan to do to get him back. I wish I could read minds.

  22. S. Williams says:

    Anna wrote:

    Im scared to send it because i fear people are right that i will get over him and find out that he isnt the one for me. I also fear that maybe at the end of it i will find out he is the one and he will still no longer have feelings for me.

    Hi Anna,

    How do you like the prison you built for yourself?

    That’s right…you built it all by yourself with your fears.

    You will remain trapped in there until you get the “guts” to walk out of it by sending the recommended no contact message, and starting your personal evolution.

    You can run, but you can’t hide from the truth…reveal it, face it, and then get on with your life.

    Or you can hide like a fucking little baby sitting in a dark corner sucking on your thumb feeling sorry for yourself.

    I work with “ass kickers” not ass kissers…OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  23. kel says:

    Hey Scott, its been nearly 2 weeks since i initiated nc. Im keeping up with it, even thought its hard. i like to think of it as a game. and if i cheat, i lose. lol, my competitiveness doesn’t really want that.

    but my ques here is, should i delete my ex from facebook?
    we don’t talk through it, but would it be better? so whatever i’m doing, he wont have the ability to see?

  24. S. Williams says:

    kel wrote:

    but my ques here is, should i delete my ex from facebook?

    Hi Kel,

    I would recommend that you do that…it removes any temptation to peek at what he is doing too.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  25. S. Williams says:

    taylor wrote:

    Its like he knows that he can “have his cake and eat it to”.

    Hi Taylor,

    You’re right on the money…now what are you willing to do about it?

    You can follow the free plan to get your ex back, and take away his cake.

    Your personal evolution will reveal the truth about his feelings, and yours too.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  26. taylor says:

    Hey, sooo my boyfriend and I have been broken up for about a year now. We have been hanging out still, a lot..and its more than friends. I always talk to him about getting back together with him but he always says “he doesnt’ know what he wants” but when I do step away and not talk to him or just get out of town for a while-like go on vacations, or go visit my parents for like a week or two at a time, he always begs me to come back and says he wants to figure out everything. However when I get back to hanging out with him nothing ever happens. Its like he knows that he can “have his cake and eat it to”. I don’t want it to be like this but I do want to be with him. I just recently told him that we’re either going to be dating or nothing because its clear we can’t be just friends. I need some advice as to what to do now.

  27. zenia says:

    its been 12 days since we broke off and 5 days since i started NC as per ur free plan by sending the NC msg and all.

    even after all these he HASNT CHANGED HIS PASSWORDS to any of his accounts whereas i already have had access to all of those since we started dating 15 months back and hence he is aware.

    even he had asked to be friends and said, “i like you so much but u see…”
    however i declined with my NC.

    what does all of these attitudes of his indicate??

    he is a an honest man i know. we did not break up on an ugly spat. we both were calm.

  28. Elizabeth says:

    Hi Scott,

    I’ve just send my ex the NC (word for word). I’m ready to begin my evolution. I still haven’t been able to sign up for the forum yet. Can you advise what else I might be able to do so that I can log my progression?

    Thanks for your help. You’re the best.

  29. S. Williams says:

    carol wrote:

    Hi Scott. My question is this… What’s the point in sending the NC letter when my ex has blocked every number I can call him from? He basiclly has given me the NC letter.

    Hi,

    What’s the point?

    What’s the point of asking for help, and not following all of the advice?

    The point is…you are taking control of the situation now, and in order to do that you need to send the recommended NC message, word for word.

    If you are not going to use every tool at your disposal to succeed…what’s the point?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

    P.S. I have explained NC all over my Blog…go read, start with the free plan to get your ex back, OK?

  30. carol says:

    Hi Scott. My question is this… What’s the point in sending the NC letter when my ex has blocked every number I can call him from? He basiclly has given me the NC letter.

  31. carol says:

    Ok… I mailed him a NC letter.I also informed him he could cancel ALL the phone blocks since I would no longer be trying to contact him as well.

  32. S. Williams says:

    zenia wrote:

    but in these 3 weeks, as i have disappeared from his radar, even he had completely disappeared from mine!!

    is that normal??

    3 weeks is nothing, it takes a lot longer for no contact to work.

    Someone just posted in our forum that they are getting married after getting back together.

    It took her over 3 months to be successful, now she’s getting married.

    This plan will reveal your ex’s true feelings, if he really loves you he will come back, if not, he won’t.

    Just stick to the free plan to get your ex back, it works.

    The one thing I have learned is that nothing is “normal.”

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  33. zenia says:

    heyyyy hi SCOTT!!!

    been 10 days since i commented here or interacted u via the blog.

    and the 3rd week of my NC. YES!! i dont blv its been over 20 days since i last interacted with my ex. last i did was by sending him the NC msg recommended by u via sms, 21 days bak.

    and he hadnt replied to it.

    so we havnt contacted eachother after that. reminding u, we had a sober breakup with no pressing or pleading by me. i “accepted his decision ” as i love him.

    and these 3 weeks now i have been following ur FREE PLAN thoroughly.
    i am hanging out with pals, i goto the gym regularly, i am studying too for my MBA entrance exams, i am reading novels, watching movie.

    i am living a normal life, but MINUS HIM.
    its difficult but i am following as u said.

    but in these 3 weeks, as i have disappeared from his radar, even he had completely disappeared from mine!!

    is that normal??

    i mean i am following the NC and keeping mah dignity but at the same time i realise that i still love him from ther core and i want him back!!

    is his no curiusity and this total isolation from me normal Scott?

  34. S. Williams says:

    Victoria wrote:

    P.S
    i DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A NC message!!!

    Hi Victoria,

    No problem, go read the free plan to get your ex back, and it will take you step by step through the process.

    Make sure you follow all the steps after you send the recommended NC message, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  35. Victoria says:

    Hi! My name is Victoria and my ex broke up with me because he claims that he needs to get his relationship with his mother better. i like him so much and yes every time were at school i try to find out and hang out with him. i just want him back but i dont know how. Please Help me!!!
    P.S
    i DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A NC message!!!

  36. Marika says:

    Hi, I use NC 5 days and my ex already text me. He is worry about me. He wants to know If I am Ok (becouse he has bad dream or what?).
    When I will answer, will I break NC?
    Can I write:
    Im Ok. dont worry about me. Hope you are good as well.
    ?
    Thank you

  37. S. Williams says:

    Marika wrote:

    one more quastion…
    (probably I know the answer, just want to be sure)
    If he will call me?
    …do not pick it up?

    How come there is ALWAYS one more question? ;)

    That’s right, avoid contact with your ex, and go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, it will explain no contact, and the rest of the plan in great detail.

    The link is under “Pages” on the upper right hand side of my Blog.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  38. S. Williams says:

    Marika wrote:

    Im Ok. dont worry about me. Hope you are good as well.
    ?

    No, that would be breaking NC.

    You’re ex is using sympathy to get you to break no contact…don’t be a fool!

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  39. Marika says:

    Thank you.
    and one more quastion…
    (probably I know the answer, just want to be sure)
    If he will call me?
    …do not pick it up? :)

  40. michelle says:

    Hi Scott!!!
    I pushed my fiance away with accusations of cheating…my insecurities from past relationships!!! I regret this terribly and now we are still living together as I have children enrolled in elem. schhol and finances do not allow me to move at the present time…he has said that he needs time to see that I can stop my jealous ways and we will live together as friends until schhol gets out and whatever happens happens….I want him back so bad!!! I never realized that I was losing him until it was too late!!! Any suggestions under these circumstances???

  41. S. Williams says:

    michelle wrote:

    Any suggestions under these circumstances???

    Hi,

    I suggest you both go (together) for counseling, and try to work things out.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  42. S. Williams says:

    Jo wrote:

    do you think he will want to speak in time?

    Hi Jo,

    I am not a psychic, but I do offer a free plan to get your ex back that will help you get your life back, and also reveal your ex’s true feelings.

    If you’re interested the link is at the top of my Blog.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  43. Jo says:

    hi Scott!my ex broke up with me over a month ago after 2years of being together.he broke up with me over the phone and the reason he broke up with me was because ‘his head wasn’t in the relationship anymore, and he wasnted to be on his own and concentrate on work.’ he moved up to london 10months ago for work and things had got harder between us as we didnt get to see one another much anymore-but when we were together we had the best time! the first week of us breaking up i txt him a few times asking to meet up and telling him how uch i loved him, but he just replyed saying ‘he didnt want to meet up and speak,and that he wasnt looking on getting back together-he was happy on his own’ i have not contacted him since then-and that was over three weeks ago.he has deleted all our photos of facebook and seems to be moving on.just wanted some advice…do you think he will want to speak in time?

  44. S. Williams says:

    BabyDoll wrote:

    since i owe him some $, is it OK to slip a handwritten NC letter along with it thru his mail slot (OR send it thru snail mail)

    You should email the recommended NC message to him ASAP.

    When you have the money send it to him, don’t wait to pay him to start using the free plan to get your ex back, OK?

  45. BabyDoll says:

    hi SW:

    since i owe him some $, is it OK to slip a handwritten NC letter along with it thru his mail slot (OR send it thru snail mail)

    or does that look like i’m trying too hard? :D

    besides everything else, i am an honest person who doesn’t think i am trying to rip him off. or should i wait for him to contact me for the $$?

    thoughts?
    BD :wave:

  46. her0 says:

    hey sw, i have a question. i have kept the no contact for 3 months now, i have not seen my ex nor talked to him.
    however,there’s a pretty good chance i am going to see him today because of a mutual gathering i just found out we are both going to through a friend of his that decided to tell me?… if i bump into him at this, what should i do? just act somewhat friendly and polite, but pretend i dont care? and i cant back out, since its through my dancing school and his, a culture thing that both are needed to attend. :rambo:

  47. S. Williams says:

    her0 wrote:

    yes, i did send the NC letter from this site in late december. he never replied. and i have never talked to him as i said before.

    Why didn’t you follow the rest of the steps in the free plan to get your ex back, and join our forum?

    You would have learned a lot more about how this whole process works.

    There is more to it then just sending the message, it is a process, and you have to personally evolve to become ready for the reconnection process.

    This is all laid out in the free plan, and in chapter 6 of the book MOMU.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  48. S. Williams says:

    her0 wrote:

    i have a question. i have kept the no contact for 3 months now

    I have a question too.

    Did you follow all the steps in the free plan 3 months ago, or did you just stop talking without sending the recommended NC message?

    You see, there is a giant difference between the 2, and if you didn’t use NC correctly your results will not be the same.

    Why don’t you read the free plan, the link is at the top of my Blog.

    NC is a step by step process.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  49. her0 says:

    yes, i did send the NC letter from this site in late december. he never replied. and i have never talked to him as i said before.

  50. S. Williams says:

    Dave wrote:

    Today…I sent the NC letter. I have mixed feelings about it.

    Hi Dave,

    I hope you sent it word for word…if so..Great Job Dave! :-)

    That is completely normal, just read the NC diaries in our forum.

    If you changed the NC message re-send the original version outlined in the free plan to get your ex back.

    Dave wrote:

    I feel somewhat empowered

    You should!

    You have just taken control of your break up situation, this is the only way to get the results you want.

    Don’t worry about her ex husband, if you follow the plan correctly he won’t have a chance.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  51. Dave says:

    Ok…so my fiance’ told me 7 days ago that she “needed a break”. I kind of freaked out at first and when we talked later I told her that maybe I need to take this time to think about things too. Then ended with telling her that I hope she understands by taking this break she runs the risk of losing me forever. Since then
    Tues-Her text-”can you talk” Me-maybe tomorrow
    Thurs-text her to see how things are going. We ended up on the phone for 15 min talking about everyday stuff. No realationship stuff.
    Fri-ME text (drunken state late at night) Are you up?
    Saturday-She called me up and had a 5 min conversation about everyday stuff.

    Today…I sent the NC letter. I have mixed feelings about it. Especially when the ex husband is constantly around for “the sake of the kids”.

    I feel somewhat empowered but also nervous! What is my next step? Can this be salvageable?

  52. BabyDoll says:

    He knows me really well and will think i am trying to manipulate him or sound very self important when i say: ‘big decisions’. also, I know it will sound pompous to say I will be in touch when I am ready.

    please don’t get mad at me, i’m just sayin’!!!

  53. S. Williams says:

    BabyDoll wrote:

    He knows me really well and will think i am trying to manipulate him or sound very self important when i say: ‘big decisions’. also, I know it will sound pompous to say I will be in touch when I am ready.

    Hi,

    It’s time to get a fucking life. 8)

    BabyDoll wrote:

    please don’t get mad at me, i’m just sayin’!!!

    “He will” this, and “He knows” that, fuck this guy.

    Why does everything revolve around him, what about what you want?

    Don’t you have a life of your own?

    Probably not, and that is what the free plan to get your ex back, and your personal evolution will give back to you, with some hard work, and a lot of courage.

    Just send the recommended NC message, or throw in the towel, and give up on getting your life back…for a long time.

    I just approved your forum membership, make sure you complete those first 3 steps or you won’t be an “active” member for long.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  54. S. Williams says:

    snip wrote:

    i dont want to seem to eager. should i wait for him to start contacting me now? i think its to early to set up the meeting?

    do you have any other advice?

    Hi,

    If you really feel you are ready for the reconnection stage, then go for it.

    Just follow the steps in the last stage of the free plan to get your ex back, and read chapter 6 of the book MOMU.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  55. snip says:

    hey scott.

    i have followed the NC rule after sending the NC message 3 months ago. I have deleted my ex from facebook, and have not contacted him at ALL since sending the NC message. I have followed the plan to the best extent, i believe. and i hsve been following the personal evaluation . I am actually feeling quite better.

    However after trying to move on, all those feelings came spurring back after going on a date with a new guy.

    Sunday i saw my ex at large a st. patricks gathering. i finally believed it was time to text him. i kept it short and avoided i, we, anything about us etc.and he asnwered pretty quickly and was very friendly and seemed pretty interested in my life. i made sure i was brief but mysterious and happy i told him i had to go and we should talk soon. he said yeah def, see ya.

    that was Sunday, i dont want to seem to eager. should i wait for him to start contacting me now? i think its to early to set up the meeting?

    do you have any other advice?

  56. S. Williams says:

    Charlotte wrote:

    once i made a silly attenshion status saying about me changing and he went on ms saying you ont =need to.
    is that a sign?

    Hi,

    That could be a good sign…who knows?

    Instead of sitting around trying to decipher “signs” from your ex, why don’t you take control of your situation?

    Go read, and follow ALL the steps in the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  57. Charlotte says:

    Hello i’m on these websites all th time tring to get advice.
    And i tried the no contact rule a bit, and my ex seems to be sending a inbox msg ever so ofen, and then i replie saying im ok ansewing his question wich is always ‘Hey u k’and he never replies only once whn i went on msn he said ‘ got ya email.
    And some times i try talking to him but some time hes really ice and seems towont me back.
    And others he ignores me when ever he wont to! soannoying.
    Oh and did i mention he met a girl, but they had a fall out.
    And he seems to come back to me when she does not wont him anymore.
    But some time he can really look like he misses me.
    does he?
    once i made a silly attenshion status saying about me changing and he went on ms saying you ont =need to.
    is that a sign?

  58. G says:

    hey scott!!
    I broke up with ex in jan and for a mth he was deciding if he wanted 2 work things out but then he decided he didnt want anything as he was happy how he is, i found out recently hes been seeing a recently seperated women for 2-3mths and all this time when i thought he was doing stuff with son hes been involving gf being my back, i said i was unhappy about this and hes threatening courts as he says they are serious and she just isnt anyone. she has been split from husband 3mths maybe less and i dont get how quickly both of them have got “serious” so soon after spltting from partners. i dont know why hes adamant to tell me about how serious he is with her when in jan he was still saying he loved me??? am i in wrong to not want gf to be around our 2 year old son??

  59. S. Williams says:

    Kait wrote:

    Truth is, i miss him and i think about him everyday :-? i would love some advice, if you have any.

    Hi,

    You need to get your life back, and stop obsessing over your ex…and I can help you do that.

    Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and then follow ALL the steps, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  60. Kait says:

    hi!
    my boyfriend & i broke up about 4 months ago & on te other hand we work together (which isnt making things easier, but i do like my job). he said he wanted to be friends, even though he doesn’t even say hi to me now. the other day at work on of my friends said he mentioned that the only people he talks 2 at work are me, my friend & his friend. She also mentioned that he said i was a nice/sweet girl. I honestly dont know what this means. For now at work im not really talking to him (except for little work related stuff). I’m not going to lie, at first i was trying to take control but after a while, i looked miserable at work. He told me once that he didnt want me to change. so, i began doing things like i always used to (i used to bake something 4 work every weekend, now im picking it back up..some of the outfits i used to wear that he liked im wearin again)..stuff like that. like i said, i dont talk 2 him much, but anytime i do say anything to him, its always nice (or i sy it in a nice way)…i just hope im doing everything right. Truth is, i miss him and i think about him everyday :-? i would love some advice, if you have any. it would be greatly appreciated! thank you! :)

  61. S. Williams says:

    sarah wrote:

    I need to know if I am giving myself false hope so I can just use no contact to heal myself.

    Hi,

    1.5 days is way too soon to speculate about anything, and the whole idea behind the free plan is to get your life back, not your ex.

    Once you stop focusing on getting your ex back, and on getting your life back, that’s when the magic happens.

    This is the part most people get wrong at first, they can not wrap their brain around this concept, and this causes them to struggle.

    You don’t have to try and predict the outcome of NC to win, you just follow ALL the steps in the free plan to get your ex back, and you will always win.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  62. sarah says:

    Hi Scott, I know it has only been a day & a half of no contact but my ex isn’t contacting me at all however he was on facebook last night as ‘away’ The last time I tried this he contacted me drunk after a day and the time before that he was sober but it was quite early on after we met for the last time and he asked “why wasn’t I ringing”. In your experience do you think this is going to work. I need to know if I am giving myself false hope so I can just use no contact to heal myself. I am feeling down and desperate. Thanks.

  63. Sarah says:

    Hi Scott, I broke contact this evening but after an average conversation with my ex I really want to try again and see if by letting him go he will come back or in time I will be over him. I haven’t sent a no contact message though and was wondering whether I could leave the part off about him contacting me? i.e could I just write this. If I tell my ex not to contact me he won’t as simple as that.

    Hi,

    I agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over.

  64. S. Williams says:

    Sarah wrote:

    I broke contact this evening but after an average conversation with my ex I really want to try again and see if by letting him go he will come back or in time I will be over him. I haven’t sent a no contact message though and was wondering whether I could leave the part off about him contacting me?

    Hi,

    NC only works when you stick to it, and when you follow the plan as it is laid out.

    I would worry more about your inability to commit to the plan, then about changing the NC message.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

    P.S. If you break NC again, do not post on my Blog, just continue to send the “exact” NC message until you get it right, OK?

  65. S. Williams says:

    Paige wrote:

    should i still be texting him and ask him if we are still meeting tomorrow? or what should be a better course of action?

    Hi,

    I have no idea about what kind of strategy you have been following, or for how long, but you extended the invitation, and now I wouldn’t contact him at all, until he contacts you first.

    If you have not been following the free plan on my Blog, I recommend you start ASAP, and if he doesn’t reply in time for your meeting…send him the recommended NC message as outlined in the free plan to get your ex back.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  66. Paige says:

    Hi Scott,

    I finally contacted my ex after he sent me a sms saying that he hope everything’s going well at my end etc. this was on Tuesday. I asked him if he wanted to meet up this weekend but he said he wasn’t sure of his plans this saturday as he has been hanging out with his friends but he said he will let me know again.

    problem now is, its already Friday night over at where i am now and still, not a single text msg/call from him confirming anything about saturday.

    i’m kinda peeved that he does not even have the basic courtesy to let me know afterall if we are still meeting. should i still be texting him and ask him if we are still meeting tomorrow? or what should be a better course of action?

    thanks a ton!

  67. S. Williams says:

    Monserah wrote:

    I thought not replying might be like ignoring him and rude.

    Hi,

    How can you consider not answering him rude?

    In your NC message you asked for him to not contact you, right?

    He is being rude by going against your wishes, which means he still doesn’t respect you, or your wishes…make sense?

    If you do not answer him, you are just showing him he can not make you crumble (like you want to, by replying).

    It has always amazed me how the people who have their wishes for NC broken worry about being “rude” to the people who are ignoring their NC message…just a little paranoid maybe? 8)

    Let me tell you that paranoia, and doubt will be your downfall.

    Stick to NC for at least 30 days, and then you initiate contact when “you” are ready to talk…not your ex.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  68. Monserah says:

    Hi again S.W.,

    I just wanted to thank you. You were right – the NC message should be sent word-to-word. That’s why when I got another opportunity, I sent the NC message word-to-word. Woah, it does work like a kind of magic or something! Because 2 days later, I got a message a casual and loving message from him that he would like that we could talk soon.

    Now the advice I want is (and I guess it’s important for everyone else):
    - How to react in cases when it’s not actually a break-up. It was just a silence break. I mean, since the relationship isn’t over yet, is it better to talk it over (now that he wishes to talk) and solve things (before it becomes stagnant), or continue with NC?
    - Since the free plan (and the NC message) if formulated in such a way that you flip things other way round – you take control but you still want to keep the door open for the future. So I wanted to be firm, and yet polite – Is it ok to send a simple reply saying that I still need time to think about certain “things” and will contact him when I’m ready. That’s all. I thought not replying might be like ignoring him and rude.

    Thanks for your advice. Now that I’ve started off well, I want to stick to the free plan and need your advice for that.

    Monserah

  69. Leeka says:

    Hello All,
    I had a success through this site so wanted to give some advice. I was at a point where I never thought my ex and I would have another shot, and we have been back together for over a month now (I know that’s not much in the grand scheme, but I’ll take it as a good sign) . . .I was also completely devastated and couldn’t wrap my head around the concept of NC. I broke it often, thinking I could find a way around it, but I always ended up at the same place – square one. You have to work on yourself first and take all of the energy you have been putting toward you ex (and analyzing everything they do or don’t say or do) and put it toward yourself. Period. Obviously you will still think of them, but the only way to make NC work is to – and this is kind of weird – enjoy it! Honestly. Enjoy the time you have to yourself and the time you have to work on yourself. Don’t count days and try not to dwell on the past. Let it go and think about yourself and your future self.

    I like to keep coming back to the forum to update, share and keep myself in line so I don’t go back down the same road I did before.

    Good Luck everyone. Take care.
    ~Leeka
    Just saw feedback and comments are redirected from the forum here. I was reading some of the recent questions. Wanted to post ;) :wave: :wave:

  70. S. Williams says:

    Monserah wrote:

    I’m traveling to a far country overseas next week for some work, which I’m not sure he’s aware about. I was wondering whether I should inform him or something before going (or talk to him one last time before I go). I’m sure it’ll be a big kick in his ass when he hears that I went to another country and didn’t even deem it important to let him know (he somehow thinks he’s still my boyfriend).

    Hi,

    As long as he “thinks” he is still your boyfriend you will be stuck in limbo.

    The purpose of the NC message is to let your ex know this keeping you in limbo bullshit is just not going to fly.

    You have taken control of the situation, and they have to wait for you to make the next move, which you will do when you are ready.

    Stick to the plan.

    Stay Strong!

    Monserah wrote:

    I’m not sure my question is “intelligent” enough

    I figured I would give it a try, and ask people to do some thinking on their own before posting.

    The whole point of “support” is to help you help yourself, and become independent, not dependent on my support.

    You will find if you think things over for one day before taking any action, the right answer will come to you.

  71. Monserah says:

    Thank you Scott.

    As per your advice, I haven’t replied to his message where he still calls me his baby and asks me that we should talk sometime soon (although I have never begged or pleaded, it makes me remember the same kind of message I sent him 2 weeks back when I said we should talk. His response – No response! Just ignored me without a word).

    I feel a little sad that the forum has been converted into a read-only. I have been reading the forum stories and would have loved to share mine. But then I agree with you Scott- I have been reading about how some users had been regularly posting in their contact diary and ranting about their ex. Well, I understand their pain but that would have never helped them to heal. You cannot evolve and heal when you sit and talk about how much you’re missing your ex all the time. I’ll post in the blog only when I have questions.

    Ok, it’s been only around 4 days of NC and I got his message yesterday which I ignored. I feel strong that I’ve ignored him and I won’t crumble. What I have realised (which I want to remind others) is that avoid breaking the NC – it’s only a trap. Personally, I am not replying him for 2 reasons:
    1. I do not want to break the NC because if things do not work out again, I will end up at square one. And I do not wish to send the NC message yet again and start all over.

    2. I reply, and then he might act like a jerk and ignore me again. Back to square one again where I’m the one who’s been rejected and it hurts more than anything.

    Scott, since me and that guy have not officially broken up and he said he never wanted to, I need an advice about something else. Of course, NC is NC (and I can expect your answer already) but anyway:

    I’m traveling to a far country overseas next week for some work, which I’m not sure he’s aware about. I was wondering whether I should inform him or something before going (or talk to him one last time before I go). I’m sure it’ll be a big kick in his ass when he hears that I went to another country and didn’t even deem it important to let him know (he somehow thinks he’s still my boyfriend).

    I’m not sure my question is “intelligent” enough but I’m not done evolving yet, so I’m not ready to handle such situations. So I need a third-party/external advice before I do something stupid and ruin things.

    Anyone?

    Thanks.

  72. Sandy says:

    Hi Scott,

    Okay so I implemented NC for the second time. By day 30 my ex had contacted me 4 times (3 emails and 1 text message) and I’d ignored each message.

    I figured it was fine to attempt to reconnect at day 35, so I called and he didn’t answer. I then followed up with a casual text message saying I’d been really busy and wanted to know if he’d like to catch up on the weekend. He didn’t respond. What now? I’m afraid he’ll never respond again now in retaliation for me ignoring him for so long.

    Thanks for your help.

  73. S. Williams says:

    Sandy wrote:

    What now? I’m afraid he’ll never respond again now in retaliation for me ignoring him for so long.

    Hi,

    Keep following the plan, the whole idea of NC was to get your life back, not your ex.

    Why should your ex be mad?

    You didn’t ignore his contact, he ignored your NC request, right?

    NC takes longer than 35 days, in most cases it takes 3-6 months.

    I wouldn’t contact your ex for another 2 months, you can’t start chasing that will only screw things up more.

    Read the free plan to get your ex back, the part about reconnecting and read chapter 6 in the book the magic of making up.

    You asked for time to think things over, your ex should have understood, and left you alone.

    No one said NC would be easy, just effective.

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  74. S. Williams says:

    Monserah wrote:

    Anyway, thanks for providing us with your free plan.

    You’re welcome! :)

    I created this plan to help people who couldn’t afford a book, and to fill in the missing elements people who had bought a book asked me about.

    I have testimonials from people who have had success just by reading, and following the free plan to get your ex back without ever buying a book.

    I think if you take the time to read my whole Blog (comments and all), and the forum, you will honestly learn more than if you bought ten books.

    All this is “real life”, real people going through a break up, and using the free plan and NC to get their lives back, and hopefully their ex’s too…if you still want them back after personally evolving.

    Don’t get me wrong, buying a book will help you to save time, but if you have more time than money…just keep reading all my free stuff, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  75. Monserah says:

    @ S. Williams:

    Hi Scott,

    I think I have got my answers now :)

    I’ve been reading lots of forum stories and your blog as well. The book MOMU seems like some great piece of work. I feel so bad about not being able to afford it yet though because the price is quite high with regards to my country and I’m still a student. But I might be having a job soon, so I’ll save some cash and invest in the book.

    Anyway, thanks for providing us with your free plan.

    Cheers.

  76. Monserah says:

    @ S. Williams:

    I’m actually taking the time to read your forum stories – especially the LDR ones and I’m indeed learning so much as there are stories very similar to mine. I can’t thank you enough for creating such a forum.

    I somehow feel very tempted to purchase the book MOMU nevertheless but I’ll have to wait until I can afford it. When I do, I’ll make sure I purchase it from you.

    Btw, I love the emails that you keep sending every now and then as part of my subscription. Learning a lot about men and relationships from that too.

    Regards

  77. S. Williams says:

    arastol wrote:

    What if your ex finds some excuse to contact you just about the same time as you were thinking of reconnecting again? Is it ok to just reply to him or do you still have to make the first call and invite him for coffee?

    Hi,

    Yeah, that would work, as long as you are truly ready to reconnect.

    The next important part is that you follow the plan outlined in the last part of the free plan to get your ex back, and in chapter 6 of MOMU (if you have the book).

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  78. arastol says:

    Hi Scott, question:

    What if your ex finds some excuse to contact you just about the same time as you were thinking of reconnecting again? Is it ok to just reply to him or do you still have to make the first call and invite him for coffee?

    Also is it strange if after 3 months since the breakup (and NC, half of it proper NC) your ex contacts one of your best friends and asks to hang out with her family and the kids, because he liked them and he has a child too, yet they only knew eachother through you?

  79. arastol says:

    a follow-up question: let’s say your ex contacts you for some lame reason and you are truly ready to reconnect, is it important that YOU suggest a meeting, or can you just reply to whatever he wrote and let him eventually suggest the meeting? (provided of course that you’re not bothered if he never does)

  80. S. Williams says:

    arastol wrote:

    is it important that YOU suggest a meeting, or can you just reply to whatever he wrote and let him eventually suggest the meeting?

    Hi,

    It is VERY important that you suggest the meeting, time, and place, that is the best way to maintain control of your reconnection plan.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  81. S. Williams says:

    Leonine wrote:

    Do I back off now and see what he does?

    Hi,

    Yes, you extended an invitation, and you should have left it at that.

    All the extra calling and message leaving shows a “neediness” that will fuck up the effectiveness of NC.

    Leave it for a couple weeks, and try contacting him again, if you are ready.

    Next time follow chapter 6 in MOMU, and the last part of the free plan to get your ex back.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  82. Leonine says:

    Hi Scott –

    Re-connected with my former lover today after 2 months of strict NC, message sent from the get-go. I am the one who broke up with him, due to me not wanting a “casual” relationship. This afternoon I called and he picked up the phone and said yes! to meeting up for ice cream. It was when we then tried to sort out a time that things got complicated. We agreed that he would text me. He is attending a yearly conference for his faith this weekend and texted later to say that there was a bit of a conflict, and “maybe you wanna go to some of it anyway?” (I am interested in his faith; this pre-dated our involvement.) I said, Never mind, let’s hold off meeting for a few weeks, then realized that he meant I might join him. This was all now by text. It was getting complicated and I just said via text, Look, I’ll call you tonight. I just rang him at 10pm and he didn’t pick up the phone. I started babbling on the voicemail and sounded more nervous than I actually am. I realized I was babbling, and since we agreed that we would meet up, I said give me a call regarding the details of us meeting up, and got off the phone.

    I feel kind of calm about it all, so I don’t think the timing was off, but really don’t know where to take it from here. My gut feeling was that we wanted to see each other, slightly concerned that he and I fucked it up by it all getting too complicated in terms of scheduling and then were caught in text-message hell. It feels very delicate between us and I would rather not mess this up. He seemed both happy to hear from me and ever so slightly pissed off with me in the initial conversation, which is weird, because he’s never been pissed with me about anything. Should I wait? Was I too accommodating in terms of communication? Do I back off now and see what he does? Thanks, Scott.

  83. Leonine says:

    Thanks, Scott. Will do. Was trying to follow MOMU by not getting suckered into a group meeting, but I think I got needy when he didn’t get back to my text about holding off for a few weeks regarding meeting up.

    Any thoughts as to why someone might be prickly *and* happy to hear from someone? He said “Yes, yes, of course!” to meeting-up suggestion very quickly.

    I guess those on the recipient end of NC have their defenses up a fair bit. Actually makes sense now why he didn’t respond when I slowed down a bit regarding his mass-meet-up suggestion. Perhaps he felt rejected again and tender. Ah, who knows! Let’s not worry about him. I am surprised by how calm I feel. I wouldn’t have been 2 months ago. Thank you for this plan, Scott. It has increased my sense of self-strength a hundredfold.

  84. S. Williams says:

    Leonine wrote:

    Any thoughts as to why someone might be prickly *and* happy to hear from someone? He said “Yes, yes, of course!” to meeting-up suggestion very quickly.

    Hi,

    It could be he isn’t all the way over the old relationship yet.

    I would just give him more time.

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  85. S. Williams says:

    katherine wrote:

    please help me scott..please explain me about the NC message.

    Hi,

    This is all covered in the free plan on my Blog.

    Go read the free plan to get your ex back, and follow ALL the steps.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  86. katherine says:

    Hi Scott.. me and my boyfriend had long distance relationship and now we broke up after 3,5 years in relationship. we had big fight about misunderstanding..we both were anger and dissapointed to each other. about 1 weeks we never talk..suddenly he sent me email and said he want to end up the relationship and asked me to be his friend only. i reply his email and i said..ok i will accept it. but I missing him so much now and i wish he contact me again..but he didn’t. i am still have a strong feeling toward him. i wish we’re together again..but i dont know how to make it happend..and how to make it work? please help me scott..please explain me about the NC message. will look forward for the news from you.thank you..

  87. katherine says:

    Hi Scott..i already try to send my ex boyfriend NC message to his email but he not response it. please tell me what i should do again now? i am very hopeless. please help me. thank you

  88. pretty2t says:

    hi scot! iv sent the recomended NC to my LdR boyfriend, i’v tried joining the forum to no avail as i get rejected,i tried buying the book from you as there’s no provision for my contry(nigeria)visa card.
    please do somethin…. :(

  89. S. Williams says:

    pretty2t wrote:

    i’v tried joining the forum to no avail as i get rejected

    Hi,

    That is because you never answered the email questions correctly.

    If you want to be accepted, register, and follow the instructions on the email you receive.

    pretty2t wrote:

    i tried buying the book from you as there’s no provision for my contry(nigeria)visa card.

    That is because there have been too many problems with scams in your country, and Clickbank will not do business over there any more.

    There is nothing I can do about that, maybe you know someone in a different country that could buy it for you.

    Have you tried using the Paypal option?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  90. Melika says:

    Dear Scott, me and my borfriend of almost 7 months broke up beginning of February 2010. He was madly in love with me and I loved him. We lived three hours away but managed to see each other every weekend. We met each other’s family. Actually I was the one who broke up with him, as I was not sure if he wanted the same amount of committment in the future as I did, since I was 2 years older than him (I was 26 then) and I was his first girlfriend. It was an emtionally difficult time for me. I’m a very strong woman and never act needy but after I broke up with him, I felt that I made a mistake and I asked him to come back many times(which I’m ashamed of that). Then from time to time I sent him an email/text and couple of time he told me that he would always love me and I would have a special place in heart. Finally around beginning of May 2010 that I asked him to let me know if he would eventually want us back (since I needed to move on), he said that he would never have a relationship with me again as I was emotionally imbalanced (as I cried for little things) and that I needed to resolve my issues and become mentally healthy (I talked to him several times about my difficult childhood and my current difficult life with my stepfather). His email truly broke my heart but about couple of weeks after I sent him an email and told him that I had moved on and was happy. I also told him that I would forgive him for the email he sent him but I asked him to not send me any response as I had moved on. Still I miss him everyday and although his last email destructed me emotionally, I still love him. I know that I won’t like to contact him ever again (how about my dignity if I do? I had already lost it after our breakup), but do you think that he would eventually miss me and would ask me back? Once when we were still together, and I asked him if he would ever ask me back if we break up, he said yes. I love him because he was kind and always respected me and never took me for granted (although I felt lonely in our relationship and was scared to tell him since he was very sensitive).

  91. Jessica says:

    My ex and I broke up about a week ago. He told me he loves me and cares about me but can’t be with me. We dated 3 years. He told me he didn’t want anymore contact with me. Four days later he called me from his work and when I answered he didn’t say anything. After saying hello 3 times I hung up. He even muted the phone so
    I couldn’t hear the background. Why would he do that?

  92. S. Williams says:

    Jessica wrote:

    Why would he do that?

    Hi,

    Who cares? 8)

    He told you he wanted NC, so give it to him, and stop wasting your time analyzing a phone call.

    Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

    P.S. Don’t waste yours/mine time joining our forum if you’re just going post stupid questions like the one you just asked me, OK?

    Only join if you’re ready to kick loves ass, and get your life back.

  93. jenny says:

    hello, last april my boyfriend told me he doesnt feel the same way anymore and needed to be alone. it was partly my fault because i unconsciously took him for granted a lot of times. i was begging to give our relationship another chance until he hung up. after that i never contacted him. after a month, he messaged me how i was, work, school etc. my response was very light and as if i have moved on already (i even made a joke that he must have a lot of girls now). but after that conversation, he seemed bitter, probably thinking how dare I pretend I was feeling fine. 2 weeks after he didnt contact me, so i got worried and called him (wrong move) to ask him if maybe he can give our relationship a 2nd chance. He said he’ll just think about it and he’ll message me. After that call, i knew i had to to the NC again! so, its almost a month now since that call, i never contacted him. and within that month, he checked my website, messaged my mom and my brother through facebook (although the topic wasnt about me), but still didnt contact me. is he just not ready yet? what signs are he trying to show? how long does it usually take for a person to miss their ex so bad (based on experiences)?

  94. S. Williams says:

    jenny wrote:

    is he just not ready yet? what signs are he trying to show? how long does it usually take for a person to miss their ex so bad (based on experiences)?

    Hi,

    You are going about this all the wrong way.

    You can’t predict what people think, or what their actions mean, but you can control your own life.

    You must get your life back before you can move forward, either with your ex or without them.

    If you don’t get your back life back, you will be stuck where you are right now for a very long time.

    Go read the free plan to get your ex back, and follow ALL the steps, it will help you get your life back.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  95. Jackie says:

    Hello,

    Well i was in a very complicated relashionship with this guy for about a year, he never asked me out and he was a big player. I gave him a good amount of chances to change and nothing ever did. Until recently i told him i was done and i didnt want to have anything to do with him anymore, and i left san antonio and came home to stay with my family a little bit. I havent seen him or spoken to him in 2 weeks and he hasnt tried to reach me or anything, i know the best remedy is to move on and forget about him, but its not that easy. He is with another girl that he had been seeing for a long time and only uses her for ass, with me it was something different because he actually wanted something serious and told me everyday but never got the courage to ask me out. I am really heartbroken and i want to know what i should do if i see him again soon, or if he tries to talk to me or calls me? How should i act? I want to knwo if he misses me and thinks about me…

    Hope you can help!

  96. Sandy says:

    Hi,

    Well it’s been a year since my ex broke up with me, and i’ve initiated NC on 3 occasions. The last time I went two months without contacting him. He kept emailing the whole time. Then I casually responded to one of his emails and we went for coffee, then a week later to a movie. He gave a big good bye hug, which is the first time he’s physically touched me all year and seemed to genuinely have enjoyed my company. I’m still not sure how to interpret his actions – seeing a movie with an ex is a date right?

    Also, I begged him for so long after the break up to take me back & got very angry at him for what he did.. I’m still not convinced that he’ll be able to forget all that. I’ve no idea what to do next.

    Thanks for your help.

  97. Sandy says:

    Thanks. The thing is, even 6 months ago he would never have come to a movie with me… and I wonder whether he will now because he is completely over his feelings for me and is more comfortable hanging out with me because of that.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      That is exactly what you wanted to happen, he is letting go of the old relationship, and is showing signs of wanting to start over.

      This is the way you started when you first meant, right?

      If it feels like he just wants to be friends and he dates other women, then start NC over again following ALL the steps in the free plan.

      But, if he doesn’t start dating other women and likes dating you, take it slow, and let it happen…don’t force things, OK?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  98. summersorrow says:

    I’m on the stage to reconnect with my ex, with a phone call to ask if he’s interested to go out for a cup of coffee. The only thing is: He’s not my dad, both me and him are 19-20 years old, and going out for a cup of coffee or lunch seems like something a 26 year old man and woman would do? Do you have any other suggestions. As for example: going for a walk or a quick shopping trip?

    And, I know, I may sound a little doubting, but I’m just thinking of other simple things to suggest. :)

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Are you fucking kidding me?

      Don’t 19-20 year old people go to lunch?

      What do you do at school…hide in a corner and stuff your food down your throat before someone sees you?

      If not, that is called having lunch together.

      Going for a walk would be too intimidating, that smacks of romance.

      Since when did 19 year old boys like to shop?

      Did you bang your head recently? :(

      Stop acting crazy and stick to the plan, OK?

      You can go get an iced coffee, or anything you can eat or drink in 30 minutes or less, and then end the meeting.

      Follow the rest of the reconnection guidelines too.

      Do not try to rush NC you will regret it.

      Keep your head, and focus.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      Note to self: Was I this stupid when I was 19-20…Yup!
      But I wised up, and she will too…in time, and with my help. :)

    • Dionaxsilvia says:

      Please excuse my summersorrow, but…oh god…

      I’m laughing my ass off here!! :D

      Just invite him for a cup off latte at a new cafe, and go off shopping by yourself :)
      Pretend to yourself he’s your good ol’ gramps who wanted to spend time with ya, and ditch him :P

      Do what Scott says, missy! ;)

      And don’t worry.

  99. Yellow Bird says:

    So here’s the thing,

    He broke up with me exactly 2 weeks ago, saying he doesnt love me anymore and the money problems make us fight all the time. The Problem was that we lived together and I was in a foreign country not be able to imidiately piss off and he didnt wanna piss off. So we stayed in the same flat for 4 days, then he drove back my stuff to where I used to live 10 hours away because he wanted me to be gone so bad.

    So I tried not to have contact with him but it didnt work. I dont know why but we ended up writing again 1 week later and ended up having a fight again. So I called him and finally found out that he’d been lying to me and that he cheated on me and is now with another girl. He likes her because with her he doesnt have the money problems and of course I think that he just likes the easy way (which is always a beginning of a relationship).

    So now I dont know what to do. I have the typical “I hate him but I love him” thing in my mind. I really want him back…not now, but when everything with the whole money shit is fixed. I know I have to get back my convidence and stuff first.

    My fear is…we live 10 hours away from each other so he wont see or recognize the “new” me. and the NC thing is really hard because of damn facebook but I dont wanna delete him as a freind there.

    I’m really sorry for sounding so pathetic but I’m really desperate right now and really dunno how to act and what to do and I only know it for 2 days now that he has another girlfriend.

    any ideas to fix this bullshit situation here?

    • S. Williams says:

      Yellowbird wrote:

      any ideas to fix this bullshit situation here?

      Hi,

      Don’t worry about his new girlfriend, or about how he will see the “new you”, just follow the plan.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back, and follow ALL the steps.

      Yellowbird wrote:

      the NC thing is really hard because of damn facebook but I dont wanna delete him as a freind there.

      Then you don’t want to succeed with no contact, FB is a fucking joke, and ruins NC completely.

      What do you want more…you’re life back, or a fucking facebook friend?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  100. Nina says:

    i love the motto! ok so me and my ex broke up for the second time this morning. the first time she broke up with me, prior to finding this page, i was devastated. she said that its forever and that nothing i could say or do could change her mind.I begged at first.It was hard for me to deal with and accept. The thing is we never had any huge issues (but obviously we had quite a few minor ones) But then something clicked and i just stop talking to her. she came back quickly sent flowers and presents. then this morning i was feeling sick, had a killer headache, just had an all around bad day. i dont know how it started really but we began arguing and she keeps telling me she doesnt want to hurt me anymore. that she doesnt want to ruin my life. and while im trying to reassure her that it isnt her fault she stops me breaks up with me. says hope oyu have a good life and find what youre looking for im loosing all contact with you please dont ever contact me again. she said she is deleting my number. she deleted me as a friend on facebook. said she wants to permanently get over me and the only way is to pretend like i never existed. im heartbroken. she caught me at sucha vulnerable moment. i caved in. i started pleading telling her i loved her. begging please. she jsut kept saying goodbye dont contact me again we dont work. end of story. im devastated. ive been dealing with alot right now. and this is jsut pushing me over the edge. im completely crushed. the worst thing is i feel like i hardly no why. same thing as before. she keeps saying one day maybe years from now we could be friends. i am so crushed. i am in love with her. i have never felt this way about any of the people ive dated before. anyway sorry to ramble. any advice? it would be greatly appreciated.

  101. S. Williams says:

    Nina wrote:

    i have never felt this way about any of the people ive dated before. anyway sorry to ramble. any advice? it would be greatly appreciated.

    Hi,

    I recommend that you read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

    Don’t make things worst than they are…start following a plan.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  102. confusedlostmortal says:

    Hi

    I’ve been in No contact with my ex boyfriend for now 5 months now(I sent the recommended nc text as described in one of your blog post)

    I feel more at ease now days, and are more harmonic with myself than I were for 5 months ago.

    The thing is, whenever I pick up the phone, I’m suddently washed over by doubt, and fright thinking “will he be angry with me? will he dismiss it? How should I sound?”.

    I’m so frustrated about it! I thought I had evolved these past few months and suddenly I’m extremely nervous! I mean, it’s just one one call, am I right? Is this normal?

    Also ,One of my friends cussed him out one night(I were in another city that night),and told me about it.(This happened two months ago…)Before that, my ex would always try to talk to me on a online chat-room(ignored him), but after that little episode, he stopped.

    Which felt frickin’ good! Because it gave me more peace.

    Also, I’m on my way to minimizes a medication I don’t need anymore, but I have to take it slow to avoid any fallback.

    • S. Williams says:

      confusedlostmortal says:

      The thing is, whenever I pick up the phone, I’m suddently washed over by doubt, and fright thinking “will he be angry with me? will he dismiss it? How should I sound?”.

      I’m so frustrated about it! I thought I had evolved these past few months and suddenly I’m extremely nervous! I mean, it’s just one one call, am I right? Is this normal?

      Hi,

      This is normal, everyone’s personal evolution takes as much time as they individually need.

      Listen to what your inner voice is saying and wait, you will know when the time is right…just be patient…OK?

      Make sure you review the last stage of the free plan, and chapter 6 of MOMU (if you have it) this will help prepare you for reconnection, when it’s time.

      One day you will pick up that phone, and it will feel right, make sure you know what to do.

      Stay Strong!

      S.W.

  103. Angela says:

    Hi im Ang from New Zealand. I have recently broken up with my bf..well its been 3 weeks now..it happend on the 17th of July. So far, I aint doing that bad!! I have been out of contact with him and only texted once after the break up to thank him for everything he did and that I wanted to thank him personally…but guess what?? as they say.NO REPLY!..he hasnt contacted me at all! even though, I get the feeling that he has prank called me and the hung up on me! (what if its not him!!) We have alota mutual friends on facebook so sometimes its hard not to see what he is upto or vice vera…I deleted him from my facebook the second day of our break up..removed his name from my relationship status FIRST and then he followed by changing it to SINGLE..I decided not to put anything cos I didnt want questions bombarding on the facebook wall…He went to some trip with the mates and they are my mates too but i guess more close to him since they never invited me to the trip..probably concerned about his awkardness more thn mine! I got really hurt and cried about it…i mean one time they invite u everywhere and the nxt they forget just cos u break up with their close pal. One of the girls that went to the trip with him, wrote on her wall about how good the trip was…then i wrote a message saying “thanks for not inviting me” then he messaged on the same wall! more like rubbing on my face that..oh man my legs hurt..i cant wait to go again!..smtimes i wonder, if he broke up wth me, he wud avoid any chance of reconnecting with me…but at that moment, i was kinda confused as he replied on the same wall following my message!…so anyway i deleted my message and forgot about it…

    Now the reason of our break up…

    He was acting very distant for the past couple of weeks (as if things wre gona end very soon) and as we all do, i would nag him, call him 100 times even when he is sleeping! because i was not used to him not talking to me! he wouldnt reply to my text or anything…so one day, i told him that im crying cos u dont care abt me…and he said..”then stop freaking crying”…….then i said “then start treating me freaking properly or else DUMP me forever”…..the same day he came over and said i want to end this relationship and that i have been thinking about it bla bla…i was broke as hell! cried like some maniac ..but he didnt care as such…then we met again after two days..at that time, i was calm and felt different…i kinda tuk over the situation and said..i want to end everything on a good note…(with his uncomfortable gesture) he said “but we are not over yet” i didnt say a word…he said we were close, we will be close…he wanted to remain close friends and said he will be always there for me..i said how u gona be there for me..(he lives abt 50 min away from me) then he ended the convo…we both jus sat there quitely..he had nothing to say and kept looking down……..then he said i gtg i said ok take care bye(wth a smile) no smile from him!…then i saw his eyes with tears while walking to his car..i was like wtf! why u sad….but yeah i pleaded and cried again over the texts but he said no its done..so i was like ok..

    so Im trying to be strong by coming up on to random relationship website and seeking help! they all seem to make sense but theres something different abt this website so i thought i might give it a try….:) anyway..this is my story

    angela

    • S. Williams says:

      Angela said:

      so Im trying to be strong by coming up on to random relationship website and seeking help! they all seem to make sense but theres something different abt this website so i thought i might give it a try….:)

      Hi,

      You’re right, there is something different about this site, we get results.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps, OK?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  104. blue girl says:

    my bf of 4 years just broke up with me and kinda caught me off guard. just days b4 we had a great time eating lunch/ice cream etc and he was talking about getting married and all that kind of stuff then all of a sudden he just said we need to “take a break.” his reasoning was that he is moving 2 hours (which has already happened) away to move back in with his parents and go back to school and he said he needs to focus on his life and he doesnt need the stress of a gf. and he claims that there was nothing wrong with the relationship he just doesnt want to have to worry about pleasing me and himself right now. i thought that was a bs reason to breakup after such a long relationship so i think it has something to do with me getting mad at him alot for not texting me as much as i want him to and just typical girl reasons to get mad. at first he said he hoped to get back together one day but now he says we will just have to see what happens. he also hates when i want to talk about the relationship and that ends in fights. he told me to date other guys and figure out what i want and i asked him “wouldnt you be sad if i married someone else?” and he just said not if i was happy. this bothered me alot that he didnt seem to care. he did say that he didnt wanna know if i went on a date or something. i have actually gone on a couple casual dates that i have not told him about.

    ive done a little bit of the obsessive harassing by wanting to talk about everything and it def wasnt working so i decided to stop. he tries to contact me about once almost everyday either by text or skype but he acts like he is fine and happy with everything while i am just feeling down. he acts like we are just casual friends. today he has texted me once and called me twice and i have ignored him. is that good? when should i answer him and what should i say? also he said txtd me that he missed me the other day and i ignored him then he said it again on skype before i got offline but i didnt say it back. is that good? what should i say when he says he misses me or something like that?

    • S. Williams says:

      blue girl says:

      today he has texted me once and called me twice and i have ignored him. is that good? when should i answer him and what should i say? also he said txtd me that he missed me the other day and i ignored him then he said it again on skype before i got offline but i didnt say it back. is that good? what should i say when he says he misses me or something like that?

      Hi,

      As much as I would like to answer these same questions over and over again, NOT! :-)

      I decided to write something called the free plan, and it is here on my Blog.

      It will answer all your questions, also read all my posts about no contact and how to use it to get your ex boyfriend back.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back, and follow ALL the steps, OK?

      Properly using the no contact rule will reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings, and after all, that is what you really want to know, isn’t it?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  105. Sana says:

    Hi,
    my boyfreind has not broken up with me but he is not with me anymore too.. he told me that there are many issues going on therefore he has gone back into his shell.. he is a scorpio… before his this statement he wanted space from me but i could not give him.. for 7 to 8 months i kept on texting and calling him for discussion and meeting but to no avail… finally he told me that he has gone back into his shell…
    after this it is a month now that i have not talked to him or texted him… during this i have seen change in his attitude.. he no more yells at me.. actually he is my colleague too.. in office he comes to me for seemingly no solid reason.. also he has started wearing white colored shirt daily for last three weeks, i love white color on him and he knows it… he does not call on my mobile or text me but in office he does keep contact from time to time for no solid reasons.. i want to know if he has started missing me?? he also does not wear the wrist watch i gave him last year, he kept wearing it for 7,8 months until we talked finally.. should i keep on my silence? actually i am acting upon both first two steps, i kept my silence and when he started giving me attention i began push and pull game… but him wearing white color daily is pinching me.. i wanna know if it is for me?? please guide…
    thnx

  106. bridget says:

    Hey! I just started reading your blog. My boyfriend broke up with me b/c he did not want to do the distance. I deleted my facebook account and I do not have his email. When I saw him last he wanted me to keep in contact with him (whether he was legit or not) I am not ready to. Is it appropriate to text him a NC message or should I just not talk to him without texting him the NC message? (I would email but I don’t have it)
    He has been really inconsiderate/ disrespectful of my feelings during the break up but I have never told him about the pain he has inflicted. He thinks everything is cool. Does he even deserve a NC message?

    • S. Williams says:

      Bridget says:

      Is it appropriate to text him a NC message or should I just not talk to him without texting him the NC message? (I would email but I don’t have it)
      He has been really inconsiderate/ disrespectful of my feelings during the break up but I have never told him about the pain he has inflicted. He thinks everything is cool. Does he even deserve a NC message?

      Hi,

      I am glad you brought up the question of what your ex deserves, does he even deserve you?

      These are the questions that you will find the answers to when you follow the free plan.

      If you text the no contact message that will work just fine, just do not respond if he replies.

      The no contact message is for you, not your ex, this is about your getting your life back, not your ex.

      First, go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps, OK?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  107. B says:

    I met my ex over the net and moved countries to be with him and moved in with him. After 3 months of being together he broke up with me – although he agreed to give it a go after I made the mistake to beg him to. I arranged to move out so we could have more space to work on our relationship – but i found out the week before i was moving that he had drunkenly kissed some girl and was texting her and meeting up with her. I confronted him and he said he didnt want to be with me. I made all the mistakes by asking endless questions and nagging him about what had gone wrong. He said he was really sorry for the way he had treated me but he couldnt undo the past or his feelings. He said he cares about me but doesnt love me. I moved out on Weds and then managed not to contact him for a day. I cracked and went to see him at our old flat and acted like a desperate fool again. He revealed that since I had moved over he hadnt been feeling it enough. That the love he had for me was never as much as it could have been. He said he doesnt think we should have any contact except in regards to a shared bill we have. I tried to state that I didnt want contact with him until i was ready. He says he wants to be my friend and cannot see himself ever with me. Is this just a lost cause? If I send the non contact rule message will i just seem like im stalking him? Is it too late? Hes 32 and has ‘made up his mind’.

  108. B says:

    I sent the NC message and he responded ‘Great. Hope everything works out for you. Take care.’ Does this mean there is no chance?

    • S. Williams says:

      B says:

      I sent the NC message and he responded ‘Great. Hope everything works out for you. Take care.’ Does this mean there is no chance?

      Hi,

      It means a couple of things, first, he can’t fucking read.

      If you sent the recommended no contact message (without changes) it asked him NOT to contact you, but he did.

      Second, he is a control freak, and has to get the last word in, and third, you kicked his ass, and flipped his switch, which is the whole purpose of the NC message, it puts the power back in your hands, he didn’t like that. boo fucking hoo :)

      Now, if you’re really serious, go read and follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan to get your ex back, the NC message was only the first step.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  109. Gloria Phoenix says:

    My partner of seven years left me for the chior director in or chrch..
    The night before she kissed me good night and said ” I love You ” we got up went to church. At end of church she was talking to Seth our chior director in his personal space and I said what is up? Deborah said I am having fun..! We will talk when yo get home.. so I go home and she said I don’t love yo and am leaving you..with absotley NO warning. Seven months later she asked if we cold have lunch. We did
    she said YOU sure are looking good, are you seeing anyone? I said NO.
    What is up with that? I asked how she and her partner were doing..she said you know I don’t do forever…”””

    • S. Williams says:

      Gloria Phoenix says:

      I asked how she and her partner were doing..she said you know I don’t do forever…”””

      Hi,

      She sounds like an asshole to me, you can do better…move on and get your life back.

      Next time don’t meet her, let her chase you, OK?

      But I still think you can do better, get out there and date.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  110. lisa says:

    its been a couple weeks of NC with my ex. i didnt send the recommened NC message you wrote because i didnt know you had one on this website. did i screw up by not writing your NC message? should i send the NC message you have on the website? and if i do wouldnt that seem really stupid since i already wrote him a NC message? please help thanks!

  111. S. Williams says:

    Lisa says:

    its been a couple weeks of NC with my ex. i didnt send the recommened NC message you wrote because i didnt know you had one on this website. did i screw up by not writing your NC message? should i send the NC message you have on the website? and if i do wouldnt that seem really stupid since i already wrote him a NC message? please help thanks!

    Hi,

    If you want the best results I highly recommend that you read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

    The only thing that would “seem really stupid” would be to use no contact incorrectly and expect to be successful.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  112. Shay says:

    Hey! I just wanna say that I think I have used the no contact correctly and I think its working. My ex after he saw me one day was disrespectful to me and I told him “don’t ever do that again” right in front of his bestfriend and walked away. (not something I would have normally done in the past) We broke up 5 months ago. Now hes been trying to contact me for almost 3 weeks after that incident. He has called 6 times and I ignored everyone of them. The first couple of times where spread apart 5 days. now its been every 2 or 3 days apart from each call. He never leaves a message and he is usually a guy who texts, not calls. My question is should I continue to ignore his calls awhile longer or will he feel like an idiot and give up? I am doing this to show him I won’t be there whenever HE wants me to be, I do want him back but before that I want him to realize that if he breaks up with me again I won’t be there. I am ready to talk to him just to see what he wants and be vague if he asks me anything. Then slowly let him in if he wants to make the time and effort to put into it. People can say anything and not really mean it. Actions do speak louder than words. If he doesn’t want to work for it this time then he never really wanted it in the first place. That’s just my attitude about the whole thing. Is this a good attitude to have? Thank you for your time. :)

    • S. Williams says:

      Shay says:

      People can say anything and not really mean it. Actions do speak louder than words.

      Hi,

      That’s right, and now is the time to stop talking, and take action.

      If you want to reveal your ex boyfriends “true feelings” for you, then go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  113. Yostina says:

    Please I need your help, but I can’t reach the free plan on your blog.
    I need to tell you about my story and see if I can do anything about it, but how can I contact you please :(

  114. Yostina says:

    It’s hopeless but I can’t lose hope, I just can’t!

    I’ve already posted my story in the breakup section, but unfortunately didn’t get much responses and now there’s an addition to the story.

    We started as colleagues, he used to offer me help without me asking ’cause we are in the same major and classes sometimes. After days we started sending each other e-mails, and then talking on MSN. He was trying to get close to me gradually and I was kinda interested in him but didn’t wanna get into more than friendship with him. After 2 months maybe he confessed his love and that he wants me, I asked for time ’cause I wasn’t sure how I want it to be, he used to ask me to give him a chance and convince me that our relationship is worth the effort and …etc

    Actually I was afraid that later our relationship would get us to nowhere because we are from different nationality and religion. I talked those issues out with him and he said those aren’t reasons to stop us, he convinced me that his family will eventually agree on us even if they refused in the first place, and that he’s positive about it otherwise he wouldn’t have talked to me and asked me to give him a chance. I felt good somehow, and gave him a chance to prove himself. Day by day my feelings grew for him and after 2 months I was sure of my love for him. We had great times for few months.

    Now with time, we had usual fights because he’s not committed to his words, rarely I see his actions which should prove his words, he’s got cold reactions to serious matters such as our future or jealousy and so on. I used to forgive him and not make a big deal until I was fed up! It was too much and he’s not helping to change or make things up! One day I told him I can’t go on, I can’t see that you are serious about us and maybe this isn’t love that you are feeling to me. He says he loves me and crazy about me and never wants to lose me and wants me by his side even if I decided to break it off. Anyways I didn’t really mean it that time but wanted him to feel that he could lose me for acting reckless and careless. Few days, he told me he thought of us just being friends as we were because he feels guilty for making me upset and sad all the time. We talked a lil but then I agreed. I didn’t realize how it would be like without him. Two weeks later we got back together, but after only two days we broke up again because of him. He does all the trouble and then ask for a breakup! While I’m always willing to give him chances. Weird.

    Anyways since that second breakup, it was a complete mess. One day we act normal lovers, the other day we fight. Today he admits his love, the other day mistreats me. He was acting with a split personality. Whenever I decided to leave or change my number or even decide not to take a summer course to forget about him and move on, he doesn’t like it and says please don’t do this, and I want your new number! He made me twisted and used to give me constant hope, while sometimes breaks it off guard. All that mess was for 3 months. I was trying through that time to make things work and explain what went wrong, I thought we are old enough to discuss our relationship and fix things as long as we love each other. I thought so because he used to tell me I love you even after the breakup and the mess period. Anyways, he used to act negative and just wants to break it off, but as I said acts differently few days later.

    Last time we met, 20 days ago because of his birthday, gave him his present, told him how bad he’s treating me, he said I know I was bad to you but I will make it up and treat you well from now on. I was sure he won’t but said okay we’ll see. I talked things out and discussed the reasons that may have caused the breakup. First time he said I feel guilty for making you upset all the time and I wanna see you happy, second time I don’t feel that this relationship will go on “just a feeling” whenever I ask why he says I don’t know! How come? Third time, he says I’m afraid later we won’t be meant for each other and I won’t take it ’cause my heart is weak. Fourth time, he mentions religion and what would our children be? Come on you convinced me that religion is not an issue and that as long as people are good they will be comfortable with each other, and that morals are the important thing here.

    So last time we met I mentioned almost all of those reasons he claimed before, and he agreed with me that they are all nothing. The fifth reason which shocked me because it was out of nowhere, is that I love you but sometimes I feel I don’t, it’s like he’s confused and doesn’t know how he’s feeling! Okay but how could you kiss me, hug me, touch me and confess loving me just few days ago, and now you don’t know what you feel? Am I a toy?

    Anyways we fought, it was a terrible day, later talked on MSN, and he said that was the last time we meet and we’ll just talk on MSN, and text message.
    I felt bad how he is trying to control everything and wants to keep me by his side the way he wants!

    We took space like 2 weeks, later talked on MSN just normal conversation, few days, I thought of just clearing air and being friends not to feel awkward during the next course because we bump into each other a lot and it will be hard for me to see him again when things are still not settled. I texted him to meet, he refused.. Said last time was the last as I told you and now only msn. He was extremely rude to me and stubborn thought I’ve never mistreated him in my life! I just wanted things to be clear and have a friendly chat about normal stuff didn’t wanna make things worse! He said I don’t wanna see you neither will talk to you except on MSN and left the conversation while I was still talking to him! I was shocked!! I called him twice and texted him to answer to me, he didn’t even care. and now it’s been a week since what happened. He gets online on MSN but I don’t.

    I need advice. I read a lot of hopeless stories but many get back together even if it takes months! I’m willing to wait or do anything to work it out, I love him so much, I don’t wanna push him further away from me!
    I know I acted bad lately such as crying, calling, texting.. I want to fix all that and stop it all. I’m going on the NC rule and willing to move on even if we didn’t get back together in the end. But just wanna try this time, for the last time, with the right way..

    How will I get to talk to him later, or meet up since he refused to talk or see me? How will I forgive him? ‘Cause sometimes I feel I can’t!!! I’m deeply hurt he hurt me a lot and I don’t deserve it at all I was good to him and loved him so much. How can it be now he turns it all the way round, while he begged for a chance with me from the start? How can a good person turn this rude and careless all of a sudden?

    P.S. I’m in No Contact now it’s been two weeks. College will start late on the 26th of Sept. and We’ll bump into each other for sure. I thought I would act calm, say and hi and even smile like nothing happened, he would be surprised because I’ve always acted angry when he used to upset me. He may contact me, but if not what shall I do next to be in contact with him again? In a way that doesn’t make me look needy or pushy or wanting to have him again?
    I have to add that he’s stubborn and seemed determined. I’m afraid that this wouldn’t work =(

    Thanks and sorry for the long post.

    • S. Williams says:

      Yostina says:

      I’m afraid that this wouldn’t work =(

      Hi,

      If you don’t have confidence in the free plan it won’t work.

      All your questions prove that you don’t have a clue about how the free plan, and this version of the no contact rule work.

      Instead of asking questions that have nothing to do with being successful, you should be reading until you understand how this whole plan works.

      If this is not something you would be willingly to do, my advice is to look for advice somewhere else.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  115. Yostina says:

    Hi

    I didn’t say I don’t trust this free plan or not willing to do this, but I’ve posted my story while I’m still reading the fee plan as you mentioned “if you want my advice post here”. I don’t know why you took it this way.

    If there’s a way to delete my story from this board I would appreciate it.

    Sorry to bother you anyways.

    • S. Williams says:

      Yostina says:

      as you mentioned “if you want my advice post here”.

      Hi,

      I did give you my advice, but you’re too much of a whiny baby to follow it.

      Go bitch about your problems somewhere else.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  116. Yostina says:

    I guess there’s no need to be this rude. I was polite and you have to appreciate the hurt that people suffer from during breakups and know how much nervous they feel because of fear of loss.

    I’m already going with the plan before reading it so I’m not too much of a whiny baby to take it.

    Thank you so much for being helpful.

  117. vd says:

    hi,
    i have been with this guy for nearly 3 yrs. in feb 2010 he broke off with me and said he dun want to hav any contact with me.so i stopped texting,mailing and pleading him to come back again..and this worked so well that he started calling me again…texting me at least to wish goodnight and tk cr etc…and out of excitement i lost the patience and asked him to meet..he agreed but wen i reached his location he denied and told dat v shudnt meet..may b its not the right time for us to meet”.and i was totally pissed off by his last moment decision and stopped calling him.but once again he approached me via email telling me dat he misses me at times..and sumthing has to b done in this regard but i dunno how..so v started talking again.he used to call me at night…i assumed that things are goin fine till now…but to my shock wen i called him one night around 12 his nos. wer busy…i tried till 3 in the morning..but he didnt call back…then i felt dat may b he is cheating on me…he msgd me in the morning tellin me that he was busy talkin to his old friend…which wasnt the truth..but i didnt react…days passed by and one day he msgd me dat he needs time..i dun knw for what..but he cnt cm back to into relationship at that moment.i stopped bothering him…and expected him to cm back to me if i gv him the time and space he requires.but to my surprise he called me up telling me that its a NO from his side he cnt come back to me…i stayed calm and jus cried once during the call and didnt shout at him nor did i curse him for playing with my emotions this whole while..and then we lost all the contact with each other…but on aug 22nd ’10 he emailed me at 4 am confessing that he is now commited to sum1else.and mentiond that girl’s name too.he said dat he wanted me to tell this thing before i get to hear from sumbodyelse..he said he has hurt me a lot and wants to make sure that i will also move on in my life after knwing this all.
    i had so much of faith in him that at least he wud not fall for any other girl..but he proved me wrong.i still love him.and want him back….though we r no longer in contact with each other..and i feel like crying wen i see his pictures with that girl on facebook.i want him back at any cost..and i hav heard bout REBOUND relationships…is he in rebound relationship? will he cm back to me..?pls help

    • S. Williams says:

      VD says:

      i want him back at any cost

      Hi,

      When you are thinking that desperately, you are going to fail.

      You need to calm down and focus on getting your life back first, not about getting your ex boyfriend back, that is the secret.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps, OK?

      It doesn’t matter what your ex boyfriend does, if he really loved you, you can get him back, but first you must get over the break up, and get your life back.

      Then your ex boyfriend will come after you.

      Take Care

      S.W.

  118. lily says:

    dear scott,
    bought the momu. I sent the NC msg but in a slightly difference format ” I agree. i think too soon to try anything . i need to let this go or else i will hold on to you too tight. i want u to come back on your own agenda and not bc i am pushing. i need to be the person you met 2 years ago. sorry for putting you through all of this. take care”
    this was a response to his NC msg of he needed to be left alone to figure things out. he wanted to make peace with everything without me pushing him to the religious side to find faith. that he needed to come around on his own terms otherwise it wont b honest. that i would understand for him.

    i tried to get him to find inner peace and strength through having a faith in god. my mum had introduced it to him nad even his married friends whom he sought advice said to trust in god and have faith to find strength to fight for the r/s and that everything will work itself out. he said he doesnt want to lose all control in something he doesnt fully belive in. he likes some of the teachings of how to live a good life. was even opened to going to church w me to find the answer to how he can fix our r/s.

    was my NC msg to him enough? We broke up 2 weeks ago and these NC msgs were initiated 5 days ago.

    I have been strong. though moments i relapse into despair bc I think of losing this man I love. The breake up came about bc I had suspicions of him cheating, which he proved to me by getting the gal to admit nothing was happening. A lot of damage was done by me cause I was in a state of temp insanity and involved his dad. i apologized for this.

    I am at a state where I don’t want to think about if he will ever come back. I want him back but I want myself back too. I miss my happy self. I even stopped reading into his last msg today. i have said that I need to let this go or else I will be holding on to false hopes which I manifest for myself.

    His last msg is quite vague but it reads more of “leave me alone”, which I respect and will abide by.

    The test to NC is like a game. I am sticking to NC as long as I do not hear from him. If he ever contacts me, I will decide then what I will do.

    The success stories are great. Thank you.

    • S. Williams says:

      Lily says:

      bought the momu. I sent the NC msg but in a slightly difference format ” I agree. i think too soon to try anything . i need to let this go or else i will hold on to you too tight. i want u to come back on your own agenda and not bc i am pushing. i need to be the person you met 2 years ago. sorry for putting you through all of this. take care”

      Hi,

      You are not using no contact correctly.

      You need to read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      And yes, that means sending the recommended no contact message without changes, it works way better than that crap you sent him…lol

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      P.S. Those success stories were written by people who followed the plan “correctly”. If you want to write one, you need to follow the plan as it is laid out.

  119. lily says:

    scott my man,

    I have resent the nc msg. chose the ” on the break” one cause where him and I left off, I wasn’t sure we were broken up or on a break cause he was talking about coming back on his own terms…

    love this feeling of gaining power back…i know love is such a game.

    no expectations of any kinda of contact from him cause i know he is as stubborn as i am. same time this was the best way to acknowledge that look my big decision is possibly to let u go, i might be going home to my country. my decision could be anything under the sun.

    i remembered when i first met him i was so nonchalant…as the r/s progressed i became a control, desperate needy woman. a side i always hated…

    i thought what worst can i do by sending the msg. it was a fair and reasonable msg. something i would have sent if i had not been so caught up in the midst of the drama.

    thanks…i will also start the forum and follow the momu…will reach back to ask for u to check up that i am on track…

  120. Rosie says:

    My ex boyfriend broke up with me over the phone..at first he asked if we could go on a break & then changed his mind..telling me he did not want to be with me anymore..that i did not make him happy..Since then i have started the NC..it has been 35 days since we spoke..& the last time we spoke it was when he broke up with me..i have not txt’d,called or emailed him since..but he also has made no attempt to try to contact me either..i have read on other websites that if you implament the NC rule..that your ex will eventully call because they begin to miss you..& if he does not..that you should move on..because he has..i do not know what to do..should i continue the NC or should i give up..i am too afraid to try to contact him because i have a feeling that he will avoid my call..

    • S. Williams says:

      Rosie says:

      i do not know what to do..should i continue the NC or should i give up..i am too afraid to try to contact him because i have a feeling that he will avoid my call..

      Hi,

      You have 2 choices…

      1. You can try to reconnect, and if he refuses, then start no contact the “right way” and send the recommended no contact message as outlined in the free plan (without changes).

      2. Or, you can skip trying to reconnect at this time, and just send the message I referred to in choice number one.

      Either way you should go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      This is about evolving past the break up and getting your life back, not your ex.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  121. Gina says:

    hey Scott,
    My fiance “broke up” about a week ago now after two years.  Because i have no income bc I am the full-time caretaker for my two permanntly disabled parents, he pays my phone(&my parents) health insurance, credit card, etc. Also bc we were on track to marriage, I moved nearly all my belongings into his place, although we never officially lived tog. When he first initiated the breakup, he asked me to remove all my stuff and wanted to cut me off completely but said that he needs time for us to both figure ourselves out alone and hopefully be together in the near future. He never asked me back for the ring (not any ring either, 9.7c), got really upset when removing him from fb, and then went bk on cutting me off completely, saying he’ll pay for my insurance till Jan. Then I asked him to just let me know when he’s going to shut off my parents’ phones and he became infuriated saying, “why do u make me seem like an asshole? I’m not cutting off their phones-I wouldn’t do that”. Ummm, which is it dude? I havent gone back to his place to get more of my things (it’s gonna take me awhile -there is A LOT of crap) because he seems unsure abt what he wants to do and i dont wanna shoot myself in the foot esp since he is still helping me out financially and I do love him with all my heart and am missing him like crazy. When i was there last time, we had a great time tog and he looked pathetic when I left. But he hasn’t reached out since.  We also  have a dog together that we decided to share custody every other week. So we have to SEE each other every week. He said adamantly that he doesn’t want to see anyone else and wants us to be tog but it just can’t be rt now cuz he needs to get himself figured out(he’s all over the place with family and work problems) rt now too How should i handle this? Should i still send the nc msg? Go get back my stuff and take the chance of him cutting me off (it’s going to take a few trips too). What about seeing him with the dog? PLEASE PLEASE help-I’ll be anxiously awaiting your response. I’ve such a strong, confident girl and have NEVER been in this position. I don’t want to lose him but neither my integrity. Thanks so very much Scott. 

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I can help you to help yourself…how?

      Go get all your stuff (tie up all loose ends), and then start no contact, this is about getting your life back, not your ex.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps, OK?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • Gina says:

        Thanks so much for responding so quickly. I admire your devotion to the heartbroken and realize that your time is precious, so I do understand your frustration w those wanting a reply fully personalized, addressing every last issue. However, my circumstances ARE very unique with a variety of elements (affecting more than only him &i) and so, i would be immensely grateful if you would kindly offer specific suggestions as how/if to “tie up loose ends” (I.e., phones & finances, belongings, ring, puppy, etc) w/o damaging the possibility for reconciliation.

        Also, do I send/ tweak the nc letter? Before answering, here is another critical part of the story…

        We broke up bc “he doesn’t know the real me” (which is “the total package”, as I’ve been often told;-). The person he DOES know is the severely depressed “me”-negative, snippy, unaffectionate, withdrawn, buzzkill, apathetic, etc. Here’s a SUPER BRIEF explantion why:

        Unfortunately, about two months into our relationship, I started becoming incredibly depressed as my parents’ conditions severely worsened. I’m an only child and since 10, have  been taking care of them, but ALWAYS stable, in control,  channeling my emotions in a healthy manner, and seeking counseling when too overwhelmed or not in a good place. Over the last three years though, mom especially has spiraled downward big time. She constantly screams and cries out from incomprehensible, chronic pain while trying to just move around in bed. She can barely walk or generally function and will continue to deteriorate.  Everyday theres yet another serious complication/symptom.  I am basically watching her suffer and struggle and slowly die before my eyes.

        Just as he came into my life, my mom underwent two, 15 hr surgeries with a 10 month intensive recovery that ultimately never ameliorated her conditions and is worse than ever. He was always supportive and by my side, did and got anything my family and I needed. I was basically living at the hospital for awhile watching her regression; so when I did finally spend time with him, I was always nervous and miserable.  Through the months,  I totally “lost myself”-became withdrawn, sad and negative, edgy and uninterested in intimacy.  He actually broke up 3x during all that (adding to my already depressed state) but wound up returning. That is a super sore spot for me to this day and he gets very annoyed if I bring it up.  , as if you unconditionally love someone, you NEVER just walk out when times get tough.  lobe sThrough a lot of self-exploration, regular therapy and meds have I found myself in an excellent place again. Sadly, this was only recently and during the last couple weeks (we broke up last wk).
        This was THE first, only and LAST time that I let myself lose control without seeking help.. According to my psychologist, It was inevitable, uncontrollable and wouldve occurred whether he was in my life or not. Although I’m well into recovery and 99% back to my former, fun-loving self, hes afraid to try again. Granted, He is also dealing w his own MAJOR issues which is another reason he won’t reconcile right now. The only way to convince him that I have in fact changed is to SHOW him by giving us another shot….

        I’m afraid the nc method will work AGAINST me– Why would he miss a girl who made him feel crap? Obviously, I wasnt this evil, abusive bitch and we DID share many good times, too.  I did explain this all to him and apologize for being unable to give all of myself. While he seemed to understand the magnitude and reasons for my altered self, I’m so afraid that its too late. If he’s concentrating on all the negative, wouldn’t the nc letter and overall tactics reinforce his decision not to reconcile?

        I apologize for the length, but thought you should know the complexities of my situation. What can you recommend here? Should any tactics be altered, avoided, etc? Btw, can u also post the link to the blog/steps? I’m having trouble finding it

        Thank you in advance, from the bottom of my heart, for reading this and advising. I do believe he’s worth it-I just want him to feel the same.

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          I know you think you’re situation is “unique” but it is not.

          You have a broken relationship…it is just that simple, OK?

          You need to evolve past your “broken, failed” relationship before you will be ready to be in a new relationship with anyone (including your ex).

          You must drop the baggage from the old relationship, and stop worrying about losing your ex boyfriend forever, that is just panic ruling your mind.

          You have to think with your head, not your heart, and keep your emotions in check if you want to get your life back again.

          I can help, but you have to be ready to help yourself.

          Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog…if you can’t find it, you are not trying very hard…lol

          You get out, what you put in…understand?

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  122. Gina says:

    Thanks again for responding. Ok ive about had enough-im going tom and wednesday to get the rest of my things  im planning to send the n/c letter after last seeing him on wed-good idea? Also, how do i act when seeing him these couple days? Im enclosing the most recent correspondence between the two of us-notice how he becomes much more abrupt and callous @ the end. Why? I was trying to sound upbeat (I’m not) and maybe that’s why?? Again, when should I send the nc letter and how do I act while packing my things? Should i respond to his last letter asking for a time? Thanks again Scott! You’re amazing. Can’t wait to get started…..
    ________

    (From Oldest to Last Night)-

    At least there’s a diagnosis now and they have a plan of what needs to be done. I know she will get through all of this and come out stronger than before (she’s like the bionic woman) as long as she has you by her side to make her smile and laugh when she needs it

    You are prob super busy now with everything and getting back on track with where you want to go so I’ve started putting some things together at the house. I have someone that can bring it over and put it anywhere you’d like it. I folded most of your clothes in my awesome packing style so they are nice and fresh for when you need them.

    I have done so much thinking about everything it has made my brain a pile of mush. I know you are going to go awesome places and do amazing things no matter how we turn out and that truly makes me happy. We’ve been through so much together and just think time apart is what is best for us. I know you see that as a finalization to us but that’s not what I see.  I see a woman of unbelievable strength that can offer the people around her so much. You deserve the best of everything: support, understanding and love. I wish I could be that guy. But I’ve lived the last two years of my life being someone that I don’t recognize anymore as you have come to realize about yourself. I dont want to be the guy I was before we met, I want to be better. I want to be honest with my feelings and have a network of support. I’m on my way to getting that and it’s really an exciting time. I don’t think it’s fair for you to have to wait for me to get my shit together. 

    There’s so many guys out there that would be more than happy to be with you, as I’m sure you know. And in the end thats all i ever wanted for you. You may have already moved on and started seeing someone already but I really wanted to try and have you understand where I’m coming from. 

    You will always be the love of my life and have a huge piece of my heart. I don’t know if I will ever want what we were working towards. All of this has made me question so many things about myself and what I really want. 

    Sorry bout the length of this letter but I want you to know that I do love you and hope that somewhere down the road we find each other again. For some reason though I think by us going our separate ways will close your heart to me forever I do believe that we will somehow find our way back to each other. I have no idea why I feel that way but there is a reason we were brought together after so long and I don’t think the past two years was it. No matter what happens I know you will be happy because you’ve found yourself again and in the end thats the most important thing for anyone. 

    Love always,

    Derek
    ——————-

    Hey Sweetie,

    Thanks for getting things together. I’m  planning to come by Tuesday and (possibly) Wednesday also to get the remainder of my belongings. Since many of our supplies and what not are organized together, I need to comb through the basement (and everywhere else!) to ensure I have what I need  and of course, give you back all your space, as you’ve requested.  

    That would be incredible if someone could help deliver and put away things. Problem is that I’m majorly rearranging and making space everywhere here-for all the clothes to all the toiletries and  cleaning supplies downstairs. This is an arduous, slow-moving process-as I’m sure you can imagine. It requires waiting til mommy feels well enough to go through her own stuff but moreso, finding people immediately available to expedite the process by moving things in, out and around. You KNOW my dad is trying to do it all, but he’s been in bad shape lately, chest pains & trouble breathing. We also found another spot on his skin which needs to get biopsied asap. Further, this is all being done amidst making the extensive, but necessary arrangements for Mommy’s surgery. So, I wonder if this person you found could also provide aid in that respect?  That would be an absolute God-send right now and very appreciated by us all.

    If you wont be around the next few days, could u please leave my passport, the pix from my parents wedding album, golf clubs and any other important docs/papers somewhere that I can grab them? Would you also please go through our memory boxes and take out any of ur own personal mementos and also, anything else you’d like to hold onto. (One is a large white drawer(?) that I THINK I left on the closet floor; the other is a blue container on the closet’s top shelf).

    I can certainly understand ur all over the place rt now but I’m genuinely perplexed by a couple things in your letter.  If you’d like, we can discuss it when I come over Tuesday. 

    Love,
    G
    ———————-

    I won’t be home till late on Tuesday. What time were you thinking of coming over? As of now I can be around Wednesday after 230 so just lemme know what works for you. 

    I have someone that will bring all of your stuff over and put it wherever you’d like but he is more of just a moving guy that I met recently. 

    I hope everything turns out ok with Frank (aka Daddy). Give everyone a hug for me. 

    -JeeZy

    • S. Williams says:

      Gina says:

      Again, when should I send the nc letter and how do I act while packing my things? Should i respond to his last letter asking for a time?

      Hi,

      Respond to his letter (because you need a time to go get your stuff) politely, you don’t need to be so upbeat…just be polite.

      Same thing when you go get your stuff, this is NOT the time to discuss anything…just be polite, get your stuff, and leave…understand?

      Once you get ALL your stuff out of there then send him the recommended no contact…DO NOT CHANGE ANYTHING on the message…OK?

      After that make sure you read the entire free plan to get your ex back (follow all the links too), and then go back to the beginning and “do” everything step by step.

      Don’t make the fatal mistake most people do, they read just enough to join the forum, and this usually ends up with them getting banned for good…why?

      Because they didn’t read, and weren’t prepared to join our forum “the most powerful free tool” in this plan.

      If you can’t/won’t follow directions I can not help you.

      Do exactly what I said to do, and you will be successful…no matter how bad things seem right now…trust me.

      This is about getting your life back, not your ex, and you will understand why as you follow the plan, OK?

      Stay Strong!

      S.W.

  123. Gina says:

    Youll be happy to hear that I’ve already read and very well familiarized myself with the blog & program… Like I said, I am ready to go.

    I’m determined to tie up all loose ends tomorrow and Wed, but I can guarantee something will get overlooked-btwn his disorganization and me trying to hold it together while packing up all my stuff. Although I have a list prepared, even this was created in the midst of my post-breakup panic. I’m one to always plan for contingencies, so should I add this caveat to the letter: “Please do not call me during this time…. I will contact you when I am ready (or unless it’s regarding any urgent matters-the puppy, finances, etc.) Thanks. ” Is that acceptable? As I said, I’m anxious to begin and am 100% intending to start no contact asap so this is a absolutely not an attempt to keep the lines open. I WANT to cover all the bases-but my mind is a mess right now honestly.

    Just genuinely curious… Based on everything I’ve told you together with his correspondence-especially the content of the first letter and then the coldness of the last-does he seem a likely candidate, in your experience? Regardless, I’m still going to adhere to the program

    THANK YOU! I’m following your every word of advice =)

    • S. Williams says:

      Gina says:

      so should I add this caveat to the letter: “Please do not call me during this time…. I will contact you when I am ready (or unless it’s regarding any urgent matters-the puppy, finances, etc.) Thanks. ” Is that acceptable?

      Hi,

      There is an article posted on my Blog called “The Real Truth About The No Contact Rule” there is a link to it in the free plan .

      This article covers this kind of situation, you only have to alter one line for that, and nothing else…understand?

      “I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time, unless it concerns our puppy, or shared bills/finances.”

      Do not add “thanks” or anything else to the message.

      I thought you read the entire free plan to get your ex back, and followed all the links and read all those articles too?

      If you really did, you would know what to do.

      If you lie to me, and don’t follow directions, you will fail…plain and simple.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  124. Gina says:

    OMG Scott! I certainly did not lie! Please cut me some slack as you have not a clue (fortunately and Thank God) the chaos ensuing in my household here. I, ALONE, am taking care of both my ridiculously sick and disabled parents, preparing for my mom’s next half day surgery, another cancerous biopsy for my dad, contemplating taking my mom to the hospital right now (for the 4th time In a wk) bc shes going in & out of consciousness again AND dealing w this heartwrenching breakup, all on no sleep and little food. I cannot remember what i did 5 minutes ago let alone a page’s exact content. I DID peruse the blog and my plan has been to re-read carefully and more throughly, taking notes as necessary, before proceeding any further. At the moment, im trying to take it day by day/moment by moment @ times (as per my psych) to prepare for the very next step-seeing him Tom and wed to get my belongings and discuss final arrangements. Thanks to your support and advice, I feel a bit more confident but still in a very nervous state. So, in the interim, please bare w me. Dealing w a breakup is unfathomably challenging on it’s own. Compounded by all of the aforementioned is-to put it VERY mildly-overwhelming. .

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Don’t take this wrong, but I don’t think you’re a good candidate for the free plan to get your ex back.

      I think you should pursue professional counseling…I really do.

      You are way too high strung to follow a simple self-help plan.

      I would have banned you from our forum a long time ago.

      Your kind of panic, and drama would only scare the other members who are going through just as much pain as you are.

      You assume that you know what others are going through, and it could not possibly be as bad as what you are going through.

      You claim to have no time to read, but you have plenty of time to post a lot of panicky dribble that will get you no where…reading and following directions will be the only thing that will help you to succeed with the free plan.

      If you could have calmed down, and listened to me, and followed the steps in the free plan, you could have gotten your life back, and erased your break up pain.

      If so much of your time is taken up with the care of your parents you really don’t have the time for a relationship, it isn’t really fair to your significant other, is it?

      I have dealt with your type in the past, and it is a fruit-less partnership.

      You will eat up a lot of my time, and still you will fail…why?

      Because you choose to focus on your problems, not the solutions.

      I really don’t think I can help you, you need professional help.

      I would suggest a support group/therapy/counseling for people caring for terminally ill parents, and then you can deal with your relationship issues after you deal with these more important issues.

      Just like I tell everyone, you must get your life back before you can prepare for a relationship with anyone…even your ex.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • Crystal says:

        Hi S.W.

        I broke up with my ex, or did he break up with me, I have no Idea as the relationship was just a fallacy a great lesson, yet a complete disaster.

        I didn’t even realise that we had a relationship was until i did NC, after i moved out, grieved all christmas, pinned for the soon to be father of my child whilst he was trying to “be friends”.

        I realised that I was a total subject of experience rather than giving my self the ability to be objective and sort out MY Baggage, (mental / emotional) which after only 2 weeks of NC I had done.

        I was amazed that all that energy i had been putting into changing or fixing something that couldn’t be saved as it was already dead and deffinutely not the (wonderful dreamed fantasy) i had built in my head.

        A PAINFUL REVELATION. – SO GRATEFUL. :)

        Also amazed that I personally didn’t have a lot of baggage and was fine, i didn’t need approval, acceptance, validation or any of those things from him that my thought pattern had convinced me = LOVE.

        Those things I could do for myself.

        So then it was, Why am I pining for this man who didn’t appreciate my value / worth?

        Why was I going on to Get my Ex back websites and wishing he would be the knight in shining armour, completely change his attitude and be dying to tell me that he would give his whole being just to be with me?

        Why was I hurting because he wasn’t emotionally available, why, why… etc, you know the self analysis crap.

        What I found on sites like yours though, and what has evolved from it, is one thing that is soooooooo crucial in anyones life, and the real question is never about the EX.

        Its about ourselves, because they are all merely reflections of aspects of ourselves that we appreciate, adore, and think we’ve lost when we no longer have them there anymore.

        When really it was our own play and display of our greatness we seen in them and the bad bits, the answer to the parts about what we don’t like about ourselves.

        How amazing is it when you can write to your ex and say thank you for letting me go, not contacting me and teaching me a lesson which has rewarded me with more value than an 80% share in Lords Sugars Companies, and know that its TRUE.

        Then go on to develop your black ops mind techniques, NLP and conversational Hypnosis and like NEO get trained on how to do better and be yourself and know yourself and remain objective not subjective.

        Knowing from that moment on that YOU and ONLY YOU, control what you allow someone to or not experience you to and you choose how you, think feel and act.

        Then because you spend more time knowing about social dynamics, relationships, your needs, others needs you are equipt to have amazing relationships with everyone in your life, for you understand that:

        RELATIONSHIPS, are NOT YOU, OR THEM. They are separate entities which live or die depending upon what each party put into it.

        NO PERSON is now responsible for your emotions or thoughts, only their input into or out of a relationship.

        When you percieve it separate from the individual then you can address it with them for the WIN WIN beneficial output.

        You become so good at knowing this that then the question is. I know that they will always come back to communicate and if i chose to i
        could ignite any type of relationship with them that i choose, because i know that they like xyz and believe in xyz, yet i also know they are capable of xyz and I know more about the dynamics of human behaviour than they do, it doesn’t even enter their minds, they don’t currently even consider it as they are subjective.

        SO DO I REALLY WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM?

        IF SO WHAT KIND?

        WHAT DO I WANT FROM THEM?

        DO I BOTHER MANIPULATING THEM TO DO EVERYTHING I WANT BECAUSE I CAN?

        ALL THE TIME KNOWING THAT ITS BECAUSE I AM PUTTING THE ONE FEEDING THEIR MINDS WITH EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT AND ITS ACTUALLY WHAT I WANT?

        WILL I GET BORRED WITH MY PUPPET SHOW?

        Its very empowering obviously to learn and apply all of this, yet my question now is, when you know that NO ONE can MAKE you love or feel and you remain objective or ALPHA.

        The ignorant state of the fairytale you believed in before was so sweet, where can one get that from now?

        Best Crystal

        • S. Williams says:

          Crystal said:

          The ignorant state of the fairytale you believed in before was so sweet, where can one get that from now?

          Hi,

          Maybe you could live in the real world, and attract the kind of love you deserve instead of trying to “trap it”?

          But, the first move would be to follow a step-by-step plan to get your life back, and then you will be ready to make an intelligent decision about what you want next, make sense?

          Take Care,

          S.W.

          PS – Once you have your life back, you can learn how to attract anything you want into your life, by learning the secret to manifestation here:

          Learn How to Live Your Dreams

          You don’t have to wait for good karma to find you, you can attract it.

          You can have the kind of love you want and deserve, if you know how to attract it.

          • Crystal says:

            You are right S.W.

            It is all down to what we want, its not a case of trapping it, its a case of knowing how to obtain anything you want by using influence and the knowledge gained.

            Thats the power you gain from experiencing the opposite.

            The getting your life back is exactly what I am refering to, no longer being at the mercy of anyone or anything for it has no power over you.

            I don’t walk blindly into situations anymore, its just not possible when everything is in a slower vibrational frequency than you are.

            Its like you become the filtering system for your own choices and thought – feeling – action.

            As for what it is that I want, i guess thats the real question.

            How can you want for anything when you have everything?

            Its more of a case of what shall i choose to experience next, yet I will never be comming from the ignorant place of effect anymore.

            AS A TRUE CREATOR.

            NAMASTE.

            • S. Williams says:

              The truth is we shape our own reality/destiny with every feeling/thought we create and sustain.

              The real key to happiness is to be aware of our feelings at all times, and to keep them in the positive frequency because we get back what we send out…every time.

              Easier said than done, but well worth the effort if you want to live a life without boundaries, and in the end that is what we all truly deserve.

              We are ALL given the same equal opportunities to live a life without boundaries/limits.

              The sad part is most people do not believe it, therefore they are not aware of the key that is in their heart everyday they awake.

              The key to unlock their dreams and banish their nightmares.

              The key to the best life they could ever imagine, if they only had the courage to believe it.

              • Crystal says:

                S.W.

                Sometimes the experience that causes us to fall and turn lead us to the answer that you so willingly and enthusiastically inspire and guide people to.

                It seems to be in periods of our greatest trauma that we see our truest of hopes and aspirations.

                The old comfort blanket is removed and we make our own way with knowledge and learn to embrace our feelings and our uniqueness and see that within everyone.

                The empathy you have and your gracious passion to bring this light or gift to others is truely awesome!

                I am so glad that i encountered you on my path and I know that the message you are delivering is being recieved, and they will benefit from your dedication.

                With Gratitude.

                Crystal

  125. Sue says:

    Hi Scott,

    I sent my NC letter yesterday morning and bells and whistles went off. Three emails and 3 phone messages. All regarding picking things up at the house we lived in for 7 years. I did not respond and today he showed up at my work. He walked in to tell me something about a transfer of money he wanted to do, then said a couple of other things and left. It was REALLY STRANGE! What’s up with that?
    I was very matter of fact with him and let him drive away. Should I send the NC letter to him again, so he get’s the message!!!

    Sue

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If you and your ex have shared financial responsibilities or children you have to make contact about these things, but as long as you keep your personal business out of it you are not breaking NC.

      If your ex brings up personal shit about the break up or the NC message, tell him; “I am not ready to discuss that with you at this time, please stick to the matters at hand.”

      Did you read the free plan, and send the recommended no contact message without any changes?

      If not…go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  126. tiffany says:

    HEY,

    So i see you give lots of advice.

    heres my situation, my ex broke up with me a month ago,after 3 yrs being together. i feel he is the one for me and i feel stupid for pushing him away and i feel like i ruined it. I was being mean to him the past few months though im not always like that i just didnt know how to express what i was going through. Fast forward, He changed his number and said its because he couldnt take the stress i was putting on him.. (which again i had VERY good reason to be acting the way i was) i have his email, and was able to contact him through that for a few weeks, and the last thing he said to me about 2-3 weeks ago is that “he will always love me, that if i kept rant emailing him he was going to delete his email account. he doesnt want to cut off all contact with me but im pushing him”

    needless to say, every now and then i get drunk and drunk email him. But ive recently stopped all together, I deleted my facebook and myspace cause he bitched about my facebook comments. even though he doesnt have facebook.

    anyways, how long should you have no contact at all?? until they contact you? Plus, we live in the same area. I know all his friends and we all live in the same area, i seen both of his brothers already. How should i act if i actually run into someone? or even him?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      All those questions are covered in the free plan.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • tiffany says:

        okay so i finally found the NC messages, im going to send it, But is it not stupid of me to send it one month after the break up and 2 weeks of not speaking to him but trying? and he hasnt tried to contact me at all since the break up its just been me, and him responding?

        • S. Williams says:

          Look…

          Did you read the free plan?

          Did you read the success stories?

          These people stopped asking dumb fucking questions, and followed the free plan to get your ex back, and my advice.

          And guess what?

          They succeeded.

          Now, either start following the plan, or get lost.

          You either trust my advice, or you don’t, OK?

          I am tired of you asking the same stupid question, and I am done wasting my time with you.

          I am not here to convince you.

          I let the success stories and the forum posts do that for me.

          What do you want more…your life back, or to not look stupid?

          Your choice…

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  127. Jazz says:

    Hi scott,

    Will the no contact rule work if you dont send the Nc message but still dont contact him(ignore when he trys to contact you) and delete him off fb?

  128. Kelly says:

    my boyfriend broke up with me after 2 years and two weeks later he is in a relationship. i know it a rebound relationship but it still hurts. i contacted him a lot initially after he started dating her, but then cut him off completely. i hadn’t talked to him in over 3 weeks and he contacted me first. i answered but just acted busy and like i didn’t have time for him. he noticed and said he would try talking to me later. is he starting to miss me and realize his mistake with the rebound girl? should i keep the NC rule going?

  129. Emily says:

    Hi,
    So about 3 months ago my boyfriend broke up with me, then decided to get back together two weeks later and then decided to be friends again because his best friend has feelings for him. Now they have a thing and I’m beating my brains out wishing he would come back. About 3 weeks ago I decided I needed to make a change and I sent him the NC message. We had no contact, no acknowledgments, nothing until last Saturday he sent me a message saying “I know you don’t want me in your life so I’ll keep it short. If you want to be friends again you know where to find me and if not that is okay too, I know I broke you heart and I’m sorry for that. It’s good to see you happier at school, I’m glad. Hope you find happiness. Sincerely (his name)”
    When he sent me that message I was so confused, it sent me two steps back from my progress. I ended up not replying at all and this last week nothing changed and we went back to avoiding each other again. I guess what I’m wondering is why did he send me that message and what did it mean?? Also am I doing the right thing, if my plan is to get him back??

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      He sent that message to fuck with your head, and it worked.

      He is pissed off because you took control and he regrets his decision to break up with you.

      By disrespecting your NC message he shows that he only cares about himself, he has a relationship with another and thinks you can still be friends?

      This guys sounds like a fucking idiot to me.

      Did you read the free plan on my Blog?

      Are you following the free plan?

      Which NC message did you send?

      The free plan to get your ex back is not about getting your ex back, it is about getting your life back…why?

      Because until you have your life back you will not be ready to start a “new” relationship with anyone.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  130. Emily says:

    That’s funny you say that because, that is similar to what all my friends said.

    Thank you for your help and advice!! I’m starting to realize that I shouldn’t want him back. And you’re right…. getting my life back together is the most important thing.

    Thanks again!!

  131. Maria says:

    Hi Williams, This is Maria . I have bben readding your foramce and your advice on how to do everything. I have not been talking to my ex boyriend for almost two months. But suddenly last week he said to me “thank you for deletening me from your friends list.” I really need help should I talk to him or should I keep quit? please I need your help.

  132. enke says:

    my boyfriend and i broke up almost a year ago … it was a lousy breakup … with a lot of fighting and crying … i haven’t heard from him since then … and after six months i deleted him from facebook and another networking site … we haven’t contacted each other throughout this time … but before i deleted him from fb i used to see him online most of the time which gradually came down … and i was the only friend on his page … but after i defriended him from fb … he has made his profile private and a couple of months ago he has made it non-searchable … but his fb a/c is still active as i can check his profile from the msg he had sent me a long time ago … is this situation workable?

    thank you!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      You are grasping for straws…it’s time to move on.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • enke says:

        Hello Williams,

        thank you for your quick reply!

        i am from india and our relationship did involve both our families … his accepted and mine refused … but i do get this thought that he still hasn’t got over the breakup … because he hasn’t updated his orkut a/c for the past year … or may be as u say … it’s time to move on … :(

      • enke says:

        Hello Williams,

        thank you for your quick reply!

        i am from india and our relationship did involve both our families … his accepted and mine refused … but i do get this thought that he still hasn’t got over the breakup … because he hasn’t updated his orkut a/c for the past year … or may be as u say … it’s time to move on … i am going to another country for higher studies in jan ’11. do you think it would make sense to send him a mail … like a final one … which would after a year now … let me know your thoughts … thanks again!

  133. Kristina says:

    Hi there
    We broke up with my ex without saying much to each other, in other words he just said taht he does not enjoy spending time with me and i replied that i was sorry to hear it. Than I deleted him from everywhere, and his number too.. what should i do about sending NC message? i tried to send it to his work email but not sure it will not go to a spam box, and that he will read it. I dont have any other way to contact him, we have no mutual friends and i dont know his address, no facebook, no nothing, he kept well distance and to be honest he does not have much information about me too..

    Kris

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Just send the recommended NC message to his work email.

      There is no way to tell if he read it or not, unless he replies, and it is never guaranteed people will reply, after all you asked him for no contact, right?

      Don’t sweat the small stuff, just follow ALL the steps in the free plan to get your ex back, and get your personal evolution started ASAP.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • Kristina says:

        Hi there,thanks for a reply. yes i did send NC message and i am ready for a plan.
        But i am not sure that i am suitable, cos i never had a strong relationships with my ex. it was more like dating , and as i say in other blog i am not sure there ever been love. Problem is i fell in love with him just before he rejected me.Is it still a good idea to proceed? does it work, if i want to get something i never had in a first place?
        Many thanks

        Kris

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          You’re contradicting yourself, first you say;

          “But i am not sure that i am suitable, cos i never had a strong relationships with my ex. it was more like dating , and as i say in other blog i am not sure there ever been love.”

          Then you go on to say;

          “Problem is i fell in love with him just before he rejected me.”

          What the hell does that mean?

          It sounds like you fell in love with your ex, and then he dumped you…admit it, and then we can move on, OK?

          “does it work, if i want to get something i never had in a first place?”

          As I said before, this free plan to get your ex back is not about getting your ex back, it is about evolving past the breakup and getting your life back.

          The plan and support are free, you just need to have enough courage to take action.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  134. Kristina says:

    What I meant is- i am not sure he ever loved me. Of course i am in love and hurt cos he rejected me , otherwise i would not be here. I already accepted break up, i just need to overcome the pain by getting him back or forgetting about him.. both are good enough

    Kris

  135. Anne says:

    Hi! I really need some help. My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago after being together for nearly 2 1/2 years. I am hear broken. He’s always been hot and cold in our relationship but I’ve never doubted that he didn’t love me. (hes a Scorpio) I just sort of put up with. He’s always confused about what he wants. I’m 22 and hes 28. Lately I was crying a lot & we were fighting a lot because of him distancing himself and then coming back full throttle. Being ice cold for days at a time for no apparent reason. It was really confusing me and it made me angry. In October he tried ending things but I pleaded and begged him to try and work things out. I gave him a few days space and then it was like nothing had happened at all and we were happy again. He seemed so happy with me! Then he went on vacation with his buddies for a few days and when he came back and he was cold and distant again.
    A week later when we talked he ended up breaking up with me. It was very emotional. I was crying and he was crying. He said he couldn’t keep hurting me and it wasn’t fair for me. He couldn’t be in a relationship right now and didn’t know what he wanted anymore. He said he loved me so much but couldn’t keep going on the way we were because it wasn’t healthy. As cliche as it sounds he said “It really isn’t you, it’s me”. Which I agree with. I told him when he broke up with me that there would be 0 contact. I blocked him on FB so I wouldn’t torment myself with looking at his page everyday. I took all of my things from his place. He cried a lot watching me take everything. I know everyone says move on hes not worth your tears. But i love him and when things are good that are reaaaaally good. I want him back! I’ve bought an E book before because about a year and half ago we broke up over a stupid drunk fight and because again he didn’t know what he wanted. I did the no contact rule and he tried talking with me and when i completely shut him out he came crawling back so to say. It took about 2 months. But our relationship changed a lot after that. It was wonderful. If he loves me so much then why is he ending things??

    So my question is : Do you think giving him space and no contact that he will come back? How long?? I didn’t write the no contact email because i stated when he broke up with me that there would be none. Is it really over like he says? Does he miss me yet? I cry every day and its only been 1 week. This time it feels more real, more serious. I don’t want to sit and wait if there is no chance and only hurt myself with false hope. What else could I do to trigger his return? Returning some of his item?? I’ve seen him out once at the bar and I didn’t even look his way. I just danced with my friends. I was to nervous to even look at him. I was told he stayed for 15 minutes and left because he had a “bad headache”. Should I write him an email saying how are you doing? Should I keep with the no contact? Should I end our FB relationship even though its only been a week? Would that trigger regret or relief?? I’m afriad he’ll move on. :( PLEASE HELP!!!!

    Sorry so long!!
    Anne

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      The free plan is NOT about getting your ex boyfriend back, it is about getting your life back.

      As long as you’re addicted to your ex (and your old failed relationship) you will hold your personal evolution back, and never get past the break up.

      If you can’t move past the breakup you won’t be able to start a new relationship with anyone else, including your ex, understand?

      If you do understand, go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  136. megs says:

    Hi Scott,

    I had requested for a membership to your forum 5 days back and i am yet to receive it!!!

    Anywayz, i hav started with NC jus like u have advised and started my evolution.(I sent him the NC msg even though we were not talking to eachother for more than 2 weeks) But the thing is we both were livin together for a year and so most of my stuffs are at his place which he promised that he would mail it to me the last time i met him to get some papers. That was b4 i initiated NC. So in my NC text i added this “……unless it is about sending my stuffs back…..” I am yet to receive any reply from him. and i need those stuffs since its all i hav got.. my clothes n stuffs :(… what to u suggest? how do i go about it? i am not trying to assume his feelings bcoz of tis but pleas suggest how i should act to tis situation.

    Thanks in advance

  137. Pearl says:

    Hi Scott,

    I have to start off by saying you have great advice. Ok, so my issue is similar and different. Different because I have been trying to get my ex back for a little over a year now. Pathetic-I know. I don’t call him all the time or anything, but enough to know I have issues with self control. We’ve always gotten along where I have felt comfortable to communicate with him for some reason and he always calls back or texts back, but I know it’s not helping him make up his mind about me. He also has been dating a girl for about 9 months now who he says he just ‘doesnt feel the same with’ but continues to date her because she’s ‘easy going and fun.’ He hasn’t made her his gf and it’s been a while now so that’s also really confusing. I have gotten past letting that situation bother me as much, but I still know I love him and want him as my boyfriend. However, since I have issues with self control and texting or calling him here and there, my BIG question is since I’ve tried the NC message before and gone back on my word, can I just start the NC without the message? I feel if I throw the message out there, it won’t mean much since I’ve broken my own message a few times this past year. Also, he’s not very good at fully expressing his feelings and I know since he cares about me, he never wants to be rude or fully tell me to move on. Oh and we hang out here and there. Honestly, I don’t think we’ve gone an entire month not communicating. I’m ready to evolve Scott. Please throw some good words at me.

    Many thanks,

    P

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      The NC message is the first step, and it draws the line in the sand, you can not skip it.

      The free plan is NOT about getting your ex boyfriend back, it is about getting your life back.

      Stop trying to make excuses for your ex boyfriend (he’s not very good at fully expressing his feelings), and focus on yourself.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • Pearl says:

        Good morning,

        Ok so I already agreed with the break up and my ex knows that. It’s been about a year now. How would you rephrase the NC message to make sense in my situation? It would have made sense to say “I agree with the break up” months ago. Now, we really dont talk about it.

        Any words of advice would help.

        Thanks S.W.

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          I don’t think there is anyway to “make sense” out of a breakup that is over a year old.

          It would have made more sense to do something about your apparent inability to move on a long time ago.

          But…

          Since the free plan is not about making sense, or getting your ex back, it doesn’t matter, right?

          If you are more worried about how you look, than you are about getting your life back, I can not help you.

          If you’re “really” serious about getting your life back, send the recommended NC message (no changes), and then follow ALL the rest of the steps in the free plan to get your ex back.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

          • Pearl says:

            I completely understand.

            Not that this matters now cause it’s in the past, but this past year my ex has given me plenty of false hope about us possibly getting back together. However, his actions haven’t matched his words. I think if I wasn’t fed so much “I still love and care about you” and “I still have hope about us in the future” talk, I would have started moving on quicker.

            I will take your advice and start thinking about what I’m going to write in my NC message. Since I have tried to send him a message like this before and we always end up talking again (my fault of course). I guess I’m feeding into my fears that this won’t even phase him since I’ve probably lost all sense of integrity in his mind. However, I’m starting to understand that this message isn’t for him more so than it is for me. I’ve been making this about him when I have to shift it towards myself.

            Anyway, thanks for the kick in the butt and your honesty.

            Wish me luck.

  138. judy says:

    Hey, i broken up with my ex boy friend 6 weeks ago , I phoned and texted him at first week, he never answered my call. i stopp contact him two weeks ago but i haven’t heard anything from hom.we are liveing in different city,and he is looking for someone else on dating site , how can i get him back in this situation?
    thank you very much

  139. Lucia says:

    Hi,

    I bought the eBook “The Magic of Making up” and I’ve been following it through. It is really good and helps a lot. I sent the NC message and only after a week since my boyfriend told me that he needed a brake he texted me telling me that he misses me and that he is very, very sorry. I haven’t answer yet because I don’t know what to say… Well, I miss him too. I just don’t know if I should wait before answer him back. I will appreciate your advice very much.

    Thanks very much and congratulations for helping so many people.

    L.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I am not sure which NC message you used, the one in MOMU, or the one from my free plan.

      The one in the free plan is much more powerful, and puts you in control.

      Either way one week is hardly ever enough time for NC to properly work.

      I think your ex boyfriend is just testing to see if you’re really serious.

      Give it at least 30 days, and follow your gut instinct about whether you’re ready “not just missing him” to reconnect, and then follow chapter 6 in MOMU, and the last stage of the free plan for ideas about planning a reconnection meeting.

      If he turns out to be playing with you, and just breaks up again, go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Use MOMU as a compliment to the free plan, there are a lot of great tools in MOMU, but there really isn’t a solid step-by-step plan (or NC message), that is why I created the free plan.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  140. Sammy says:

    I Really need some advice :(
    My boyfriend of nearly 2 years randomly broke up with me after we spent an amazing 3 weeks together on holiday. I’ve been told it’s because he needs to sort his head put and be doesn’t want a relationship anymore, but he will never talk to me about it :( I met up with him a few times since the break up and it’s been nice but all the time all I want is for is to be how we were again. He told me he loves and misses me and maybe will be with me in the future but I dont know if I should wait around, I mean I want to because i love him so much :(

    But now things are really messed up :( we were both out at the same nightclub and when he left his best friend started talking to me and kissed me and I kissed him back :( I dont even know why :( but my ex has found put and called me to make it clear that he knew. I tried calling him and he won’t answer and I text him asking him to call me
    but he hasn’t yet :(

    Please help

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It doesn’t matter what has happened with your ex boyfriend’s “best” friend, you were broken up when it happened.

      What he should worry about is who he calls a friend.

      The best way to deal with a breakup is to evolve past it using the no contact rule, and the free plan.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  141. Sammy says:

    But what do I do now? He hates me :( never going to want me back :(

  142. missunderstood says:

    Hey,

    About two weeks ago I thought that I wanted to take a break from my boyfriend which i have been seein for a year now and I have alwas been the one in control in the relationship. After great understanding on his part we decided not to break it off. A week later he said that he had thought about what I had said and thinks it would be a good idea to take a break for a week. I got annoyed and said that we might as well just take a month then since he is goin out of town and thats exactly what he is doing. This break up has been so all of a sudden that I do not know what to do. We were so in love. I tried the NC rule and its been 2 weeks now and it has been going fine except for I never sent an NC letter. Do i really have to?

    thank you

  143. Natalia says:

    Hi! My bf of 5 yrs moved to HI in July. I was set to fly out in oct. He missed me & couldn’t wait for me to get there. 1 1/2 wks before my flight he txted me & told me not to come! I did all the wrong things in desperation, but in nov sent him email that I was ok with breakup. After about a month he texted me on two occasions. But here’s the problem: he did this to me bc of interest in his coworker. I know he is w her now and I am all the way in ny completely helpless! He had Xmas dinner w her fam…he won’t admit she’s why he broke up w me!

  144. Fiona says:

    i broke up with my ex 3 weeks ago and immediatly day after i stopped contacting him about ten days into it he tet me about nothing and i did not reply…making a huge mistake i text him christmas day just to say happy xmas he did reply.. but now he leaves for bali in two days for 2months.. I really dont wanna see him or I dunno how I feel I just really really want him back! I wrote a you made the ‘right decision’ i agree letter and i have organised to grab coffee tomoro and ill give it to him..i sorta just wanna pop in and be like sorry i dont really have time for coffee i just wanted to give you this have a nice trip blah blah and bail…is this a good idea or do i bail?

  145. S. Williams says:

    Hi,

    I suggest you text him the recommended no contact message (word for word) as outlined in the free plan.

    Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  146. Jane says:

    Hi,
    My ex and I broke up(well he said he wants space and some distance), so at the time i said to him i agree with you and you can take all the time you need but im not going to wait around as it is making me feel insecure and frustrated and i dont want to feel that way and i need to know think about what i am going to do…..he then said just let me get back to the man you fell in love with and for us to not contact each other for a 3 months and i agreed with that.
    I have been good and didnt contact him until it was christmas and just sent a text saying meery christmas to his boys and for them to have a great day he then replied and with merry christmas to me and love from his boys and him. We then texted happy new year to each other on new years day. But this week we had a natural disaster of a huge flood in out city which almost flooded our whole city and suburbs where people died and lost homes and my home was flooded so due to this i was very concerned for his safety and his kids so i texted him n asked if he and his kids were ok….and he replied straight back and said he was ok and his kids too and asked if i was ok too and said it was good to hear from me…..he called me two days later just to check on me and make sure i was ok as my whole street was flooded and when he ended the call i said take care and he said likewise, catchup soon seeya baby! I know we have now had contact and it has been 9 weeks since the intial no contact but im assuming in this case it was a matter of care for the threat of our lives was this ok? and was it good that i agreed with the no contact and said what i did when we had that talk?……..does that mean it was basically the no contact meassage i said to him?….is this good signs, im now getting on with my life and moving forward and keeping with the no contact again, is this the right thing to do?
    Jane x

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If you are not happy with your current situation, and you want to get yourself back again, and reveal your ex’s true feelings for you, you need to follow the free plan correctly…no short cuts.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back here on my Blog, and send the recommended NC message as outlined in the plan, then follow ALL the rest of the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • Jane says:

        Hi S williams,
        Can u please delete and take off my blog the wall asap please

        Kind regards
        Jane

        • S. Williams says:

          Here is a quote from the Terms of Service for this Blog:

          9. Posting Comments

          People who post personal information in the comment box on the website How to Get Your Ex Back Fast.com for free advice, do so at their own risk. Once you post your comment it becomes the legal property of the website How to Get Your Ex Back Fast.com and it’s owners. Do not contact the owners demanding your comments be erased, because they will not, if you do not agree to this, do not post your comments on the website How to Get Your Ex Back Fast.com.

          The link is at the bottom of the Blog.

  147. Irene says:

    She should be able to at least edit her post.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      She should be able to read.

      Then she should have read the terms of service first.

      It is a very small price to pay for “free advice”, wouldn’t you agree?

      If you don’t agree, don’t post…it’s that simple.

      No one is forced to post anything on my Blog.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – Don’t you love the people who think they can get what they want, and then alter/erase their comments? I have nothing better to do all day then to moderate people’s comments after they keep altering them…lol

  148. Chris says:

    Hey there,
    Me and my Ex-girlfriend broke up late september after dating for 5 years. it was a very rough break up and I’m still very upset about it. One thing i can’t seem to realize is how after only being broken up for 2 months she has a boyfriend already and makes the impression that she never wants to talk to me again. after making the unfortunate mistake of texting and calling her non-stop i finally came to find the strength to use the NC method. I haven’t spoken to her in a month now but i still really miss her and want her to miss me. what else could i do that might get her to contact me? do you think she misses me at all? do you think she will get in touch with me and if so whats a comfortable time frame that she might call/text me? thanks so much i really appreciate it!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s.

      You can’t win back someone’s love, but you can attract the kind of love you deserve by re-gaining your self-confidence (and your life).

      If you’re interested in learning how to get your life back, go read the free plan to get your ex back here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  149. Urosa says:

    Hey there,
    I badly need some help over here…my boyfriend broke with me on 29th of October, with out giving any valid reason. We had no proper contacts after that…but on this 12th January before my exam he just called me up and was being all nice…( i was pretty nice to him too but i had to show him no interest as my friends asked me to show him any signs of me being all desperate about him ) So he claimed that i didn’t give him enough time and interest and that i am pretty good with my life now…he again stopped contacting me after that day (it was for only one day that he tried to be all normal)…then after a few days i contact him again and he behaved pretty bad..he said if u don’t have any time for me then why would i give u time…which really got me mad and i misbehaved with him and hung up the phone. And now i got to know that he’s leaving for abroad and i got really upset and called him. He said what do i want now..i replied i just want to talk…he said he is at his friend’s place and he will talk later…( and yes he was pretty rude this time as well ). Now i don’t if he is going to call me back or not…

    I want him really badly but i don’t know how to get him back…i want to make things right with him before he leaves.. :( is this possible? Please please please give me suggestions how can i make him want me again before he leaves! I don’t want this to end :(

  150. Natalie says:

    Today, I woke up and smelt the coffee.

    No more feeling sorry for myself, no more wishing that my ex could come back to me with a bunch of flowers. It is time to take control of the situation. S.W. was right. People like us make excuses such as he actually cares about me he is just in a bad place right now. None of that matters. I need to focus on me and being the best I can be. I have sent the NC message and read this entire blog. I can now see why SW was so short with me, listening to everyone, we all seem so desperate, and whilst it may be a natural response. It’s a destructive one. I am no longer going to destruct myself. It is onwards and upwards.

    • S. Williams says:

      Natalie says:

      People like us make excuses such as he actually cares about me he is just in a bad place right now.

      Hi,

      That is also known as “enabling”.

      You want your ex to change, but you “enable” them to stay the same by making excuses for them, or buying their lame excuses.

      Do they (your lame-ass ex) care what this does to anyone else, fuck no!

      That is also known as being selfish.

      This is why I help people get their lives back, and not their ex’s, because I am not sure their ex is the best choice for them out there, and I want you people to be happy.

      My job is to help flip your switch so the light comes on, and then it’s your job to use the free plan to get your ex back, and kick loves ass.

      Welcome to the Light!

      S.W.

  151. Jamie says:

    Hi I moved out of my boyfriends in march last year. We were back together but i kept pushing for more and gave him an ultimatium. Then he started to date this women 2 weeks later. They still date but she lives 3 hours away. I have dated other guys and he knows i did the no contact letter and now we talk about everyday. We visit one another for an hour once or twice a week he tells me he does miss me. I have brought up us dating and he said he will see what happens. Am I in a good spot? I did the no contact thing months ago. i am very happy with myself but would like to be his gf again. Do these things take long? I have learned i will never give him an ultimatium i should have know better because that was a very needy move. What can i do now i am already applying everything in the book. i am just stuck with I guess trying to get his attention.

    • S. Williams says:

      Jamie says:

      i am just stuck with I guess trying to get his attention.

      Hi,

      You will be “stuck” forever if you only focus on getting your ex boyfriend back by trying to “get his attention”.

      He knows you are still chasing him, and therefore he also knows he has plenty of time to “play the field” because you will be waiting.

      I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s.

      If you want to reveal your ex’s true feelings for you, as you evolve past the break up, and get your life back, I can help.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  152. Marie says:

    S.W.,

    I initiated NC 2 months ago, then broke it mid December, screwing up my evolution. It started as a work related email, but quickly went downhill with me begging and pleading. I resent NC message last week and I feel better now.

    Did I fuck up my chances? I am totally going to stick to NC this time.

    Thank you,
    Marie

    • S. Williams says:

      Marie says:

      Did I fuck up my chances? I am totally going to stick to NC this time.

      Hi,

      No, it is just a small set back, but the longer you stick to the plan, the more you evolve, and it is your personal evolution that will change everything…let it happen.

      Learn from your mistakes so you don’t have to keep repeating them.

      Stay Strong!

      S.W.

      • Marie says:

        Thank you, S.W.

        Yours is the only break-up-help blog out there that focuses on personal evolution. It makes so much sense. Whether we get our ex-es back or not, we certainly end up being better people. I have already started appreciating the positives of the break up, even though I still miss him and would love to have a new relationship with him.

        • S. Williams says:

          Marie says:

          Whether we get our ex-es back or not, we certainly end up being better people.

          Hi,

          I believe in win-win scenarios, and approaching your break up in this manner ensures a win-win situation because there is no way to lose, except what was already lost…the past.

          People get tangled up in the past, and that is what really hurts them, not the break up, that’s just a little bump in the road.

          You can have another relationship with your ex or anyone else you choose to pursue, but you have to get your life back first.

          You can’t have one foot in the past, and one in the present without staying “stuck”…make sense?

          Put both feet in the present, learn from the past, and prepare for the future.

          And you will Kick Loves Ass, in-fact you will also Kick Life’s Ass too.

          Stay Strong!

          S.W.

          • Marie says:

            Thank you, S.W.

            The evolution has been slow, but steady. I resent NC mail 10 days ago, while there were a couple of sad days, overall I have been doing much better than I did last month.

            Hopefully by next month, I will be totally over him and in love with my new life. :)

            • S. Williams says:

              Hi Marie,

              You’re Welcome!! :-)

              I found a great way to not only speed up your personal evolution, but to create whatever you kind of life you want and desire.

              You can drastically increase the speed at which you create your “new life” by studying the law of attraction.

              I am using this same method myself and in just one month (since New Years day) turned my life around, and this is just the beginning.

              I had this course for almost a year but never took the time to read and use it…I am glad I decided to start at the beginning of this year!

              I am highly recommending people study the law of attraction as part of their personal evolution, this is exactly what I had in-mind when I started teaching people to “get their lives back”, not their ex’s.

              It is no wonder I was drawn to buy this course, I just wished I started using it sooner, better late than never, right?

              Keep up the good work, and look into the law of attraction to help speed your evolution along, and create great abundance in ALL parts of your life.

              Take Care,

              S.W.

              You don’t have to wait for good karma to find you, you can create your own perfect life.

              You can create the kind of life you want and deserve, if you know how to attract it.

              Learn How to Create The Life of Your Dreams

  153. p-xx says:

    Hi my boyfriend and i broke up two weeks ago now on a wendesday, he was sick of the constant fighting, the thursday when he decided to come home i said we could try being together but not living together he said he’d let me know saturday when i moved he ended up saying to me thursday night i think we’ll work and we can try this so all was good. i then moved out on the saturday and left him some furniture so he had some stuff as it was all mine. He didnt say thank you and i went off and he hung up.. i then went on facebook and he had deleted and blocked me and went to single i tried calling him and everything he wouldnt talk. i then seen him sunday and he said he didnt want to be with me his parents dont like me so its making it hard however its 26 and im only 19. i then pestered him and kept annoying him then it got to wednesday and i was like will you come shoppin with me in two weeks to chhose a new laptop he said yes then i messaged him the next day asking if he would come shopping with me that night he said it was nice talking to you but i dont want to hear from you until you get the new laptop i then started to pester him to the point he was like eff off!!! so since then i havent spoken to him for four days, i dont know weather to call him next week see if he is still coming shopping and then he’ll realise its not affecting me anymore, or just to continue to leave him be, i just want him to contact me but i doubt that will happen as he doesnt want me, but i want us :( HELP!!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Since I already answered your same exact question through email, I will post my same exact response:

      Hi,

      I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s…why?

      Because you have to evolve past the break up, clear your head,
      and regain your life from “the panic zone” before making any
      important decisions.

      Don’t kid yourself into believing you have to “rush” before you
      lose him, you already lost him, the questions is, do you “really”
      want him back.

      Was what you had really that good, or just an illusion?

      The saying “Love is Blind” should be “Love Makes You Blind”,
      when you let your emotions make your decisions, they are
      usually the wrong one’s depending upon the emotion you are
      feeling when you make them.

      The sad fact is that everyone going through a breakup makes
      their decisions under the feeling of desperation, this is NOT a
      good feeling to make decisions under…make sense?

      When you properly use NC, you take away the desperation, and
      gain back your life (control) again, and then once you can see
      with clear eyes and think with a clear mind, then you make your
      decision (about getting your ex back)…not a second sooner, or
      you will regret it.

      I truly believe we create our own destinies, and that fate only
      happens to those you do not take the time to create their
      destinies.

      They leave it up to fate…bad choice.

      The first thing you need to do, is go read the free plan to get your ex back, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – You get your life back (much faster), and you can learn how to create any destiny you want, by learning this secret:

      Learn How to Create The Destiny of Your Choice

      You don’t have to settle for fate, you can create your own destiny.

      You can create the kind of destiny you want and deserve, if you learn how to attract it.

      “Destiny is not a matter of chance, but of choice. Not something to wish for, but to attain.” ~ William Jennings Bryan ~

  154. irulan says:

    Does he still have feelings? if so why be distant?

    Ex is avoiding me… why do men act scary?
    Well my ex is currently married with kids and recently I expressed to him that I did have feelings a little only b/c he kept contacting me whenever he signs online (Occasionally so I started to catch feelings again. Is this normal? I was doing fine until he contacted me. Why do guys keep in contact with their exes anyway? why contact what are your intensions? I don’t get it I mean for what? During our conversation he says oh I understand I feel the same way and then we started talking about the past he says oh i miss your cooking the way you smell etc blah blah… I then I told him that maybe I needed closure and he was fine with that. The next day he called and we were talking about meeting (he sounded like he was interested in doing so). and he told me to let him when. also talked about our kids just randmon questions nothing serious. Oh! by the way I did break it off with him b/c I was moving to another state this has been yrs ago. Anyway I am not trying to get back with him or anything just wanted to be friends-associates whatever…. Well after our conversation he did send me an instant message online saying what are u doing? but I was away from my computer so after that havent heard from him in like a week. Guess he is avoiding me? or is scared to meet but he wasn’t acting like that during our conversation. I am fine with that but I would prefer men to keep it real and not avoid someone just delete their A&*% from FB or Instant Message.

    Did I mention that I have moved on as well? I am also married I know what you all are gonna say move on blah blah you are married (Stay in your marriage I know I know

    Break it down nicely

    • S. Williams says:

      irulan says:

      Does he still have feelings? if so why be distant?
      Ex is avoiding me… why do men act scary?
      I would prefer men to keep it real

      Hi,

      That last part of what I quoted from your post is the most interesting part of the whole post, why?

      Because it would be great if everyone “kept it real”, people who are married should either stay married, or get a divorce before looking else where.

      People who get contacted when they don’t want to be contacted should say so, and then end it, not screw around to see where it may lead (sound familiar?).

      I am NOT judging, but I am so curious as to how someone can trust a man/woman who would cheat on their husband/wife, or boyfriend/girlfriend?

      This is a fucking HUGE red flag…isn’t it?

      Since the foundation for a solid relationship is built upon trust and respect, and these people have shown that they do not value either of these things, and when they want something bad enough, they say fuck all that, and just go for it.

      What makes you so certain they will not do the same to you?

      Why would you knowingly take a risk, and go against your own common sense?

      Now that is scary.

      I have recently started to study the law of attraction, and it states whatever you give – you get, so if you give unfaithfulness (negative feelings), that is what you will receive in return…makes sense, huh?

      If you give honesty, and respect…that is what you will receive.

      If everyone kept it real, this Blog wouldn’t be needed, because no one would break up.

      I advise you to stop asking redundant questions about why the opposite sex does certain things, and ask yourself why you do certain things.

      The answers to those questions will enrich your life much more than some guesses about why people do stupid shit, make sense?

      I started a topic in our forum about The Law of Attraction and Relationships to help people get an idea about how to use LOA to not only evolve past relationship problems, but to conquer all their problems and live a great life.

      Thanks for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  155. TWEETY says:

    My BF broke up with me saying he does not love me any more and does not feel crazy about me any more. He has a libido problem and thinks No sex=No love???? I do not understand his psychology…

    But the other day I saw him in a really gentle way accepting the break up, very calm, smiled etc… And said good bye. He gave me a big hug..

    Now its been 1 week without contacting after that…. I feel like he does not have a balls to even call me…. He is very insecure (He said)

    I hope he thinks and feels his real emotions…

    • S. Williams says:

      TWEETY says:

      He has a libido problem and thinks No sex=No love????

      I feel like he does not have a balls to even call me…. He is very insecure (He said)

      Hi,

      He has a libido problem and no balls?

      I guess that would make any man feel insecure.

      Thanks for writing.

      Take care,

      S.W.

  156. SECOND CHANCE says:

    Hi, Scott

    I am in this forum because I really wants my life and my Ex back. I also bought the book and reading them again and again.

    My Ex never had a longterm relationship (34 years of his life). Ours was the longest. He always broke up with girls before in 3 to 4 months and never went back. So I thought if I don´t do anything, I will fall into the same trap, so pulled away by sending NC.. (I am praying that it works.. )

    I sent a NC message and got a reply back saying “OK, if that´s what you want – Am I officially deleted? what is this important matter?” I sent another NC message and he called me back right away, but I did not pick the call. Then he replied next day “OK, then Good luck. I am here whenever you need” Some of my male friends say “it sounds like he wants me to come to him due to his pride.”

    He said he missed me after breaking up (before NC message)but not enough and it is a normal thing after spending some time with the same person, and does not love me any more and we are becoming like the best friends. And it is not fair for me to continue this relationship. Also maybe he is scared of commitment. I think he has a very wrong idea of relationships. It is very difficult to change his perception of a relationship..

    Scott, if you can give me some advice, I ´d really appreciate your words.

    Regards.

    • S. Williams says:

      SECOND CHANCE says:

      I think he has a very wrong idea of relationships. It is very difficult to change his perception of a relationship.

      Hi,

      It is actually impossible to change anything about anyone, they have to want to change themselves.

      Trying to change someone is a negative feeling/thought, and it will only bring more negative experiences into your life, not his.

      This is why the best solution is to change your situation by evolving past the break up, and getting your life back again.

      You must become happy again, and fill your life with love (and positive feelings) if you ever expect to attract love, make sense?

      In the end, love conquers all.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  157. SECOND CHANCE says:

    Scott

    Thank you! Yes, I ll be positive and try to evolve and enjoy life. I just got a ticket to Holland!! :)

    Yes in 3 to 4 weeks o so, I ll ask him out for a coffee, and then let you know, ok? (Our Romance started in Spring, so maybe the smell of the air and sunlight make him remember of the beginning of our relationship hehe)

    Since I know he still cares about me so much, I ll focus on myself.

    I think this is the right attitude.
    Thank you and I ll let you know.

    P.S. I subscribed in the forum but i cannot write yet… (3 days ago)

  158. SECOND CHANCE says:

    Dear Scott

    By the way is my NC step done correctly? Or did I mess it up????

    Apology for the question…

  159. SECOND CHANCE says:

    Dear Scott

    2 weeks after the official breakup, I sent him “Hi, I did lots of thinking recently and I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have something important going on in my life and appreciate you not contacting to me. I ll be in touch when I am ready”

    Then I got a reply back saying “OK, if that´s what you want – Am I officially deleted? what is this important matter? You should tell me because you know I ´ll help you”

    I sent another NC message “Hi, I totally agree with your decision. I have some exciting decision to make in my life so I appreciate you not contacting to me during this time. I ll get in touch with you sometime soon.

    Then he called me back right away, but I did not pick the call.

    Then he replied next day “OK, well Good luck then. I am here though whenver you need.

    Did I mess it up???

    • SECOND CHANCE says:

      :(( Did I lose the chance?

    • S. Williams says:

      SECOND CHANCE says:

      I sent another NC message “Hi, I totally agree with your decision. I have some exciting decision to make in my life so I appreciate you not contacting to me during this time. I ll get in touch with you sometime soon.

      Then he called me back right away, but I did not pick the call.

      Then he replied next day “OK, well Good luck then. I am here though whenver you need.

      Did I mess it up???

      Hi,

      You messed up the NC message, you changed it.

      You need to send the correct NC message (no changes) as outlined in the free plan to get your ex back, and then do not respond at all, even if he contacts you.

      Make sure you read the entire free plan, and follow ALL the steps, it will tell you what you need to do.

      The only reason I say to re-send the NC message is because the last one you sent, was not in it’s (correct) original form.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • SECOND CHANCE says:

        :(

        Should I send the nc message newly?
        Isnt it weird to do so?

        Thank you.

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          It might seem “weird” but it will send the proper message.

          What is really weird (to me) is why you would change the NC message in the first place.

          If you are going to trust and follow a plan, then you should do just that, and do it correctly.

          If on the other-hand, you have your doubts (about the effectiveness of the plan), you should look elsewhere for better advice, right?

          Thanks for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  160. james says:

    Hi – I know it sounds unlikely, but for the life of me I cannot find the “Topic — Add New »“ link described in the directions below. Thanks.
    James

    After you have registered go to the Heart Break Hotel forum (start a new topic use the “Topic — Add New »“ link in the upper left-hand corner, and name it something like “your forum members name’s Break up Story” and in the Tags box please put this phrase my break up story), I want you to explain your break up (HINT – Don’t use real names, OK?) and then leave it here. Why? Because that was the past, and you can only learn from the past, not live in it…understand?

    • S. Williams says:

      james says:

      I know it sounds unlikely, but for the life of me I cannot find the “Topic — Add New »“ link described in the directions below.

      Hi,

      I have not heard this before, so I will add this line to the instructions.

      It is in the “dark gray” bar that also has the words: Posts, Last Poster, Freshness in it.

      If you click on it and you are not logged in as a member, it won’t go any where anyways, that is why I tell people to register first.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  161. bella says:

    so about 6 montha ago my boyfriends of a year breaks my heart. out of the blue. he was the guy i never thought weould reak my heart. i took his vigrinity and now all he does is wanna slut around, idk what to doo he has had2 gfs already and ive not moved on, idk if hes over me or tryin to make me jelouse.. what di i do? i know i shouldnt care but its all i think about. day and night…

    • S. Williams says:

      bella says:

      he has had2 gfs already and ive not moved on

      Hi,

      I guess it is time to move then, huh?

      The only reason you haven’t moved on is because you choose to stay where you are now, it is a choice.

      Make a better choice and use the free plan to reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  162. Eva says:

    hello……………………………….
    i have a relationship problem to….i brake up the guy two months ago, but i am still thinking about him. Ee have met in net on date site we communicate some time,started to date,we even celebrated new year.Everything was going so fast and i thought that he seriously look at me and to our connection. He always told me where he is and with who on messages,but when i asked where he is or what he is doing ,he said that i am not his wife, and he is not my husband that he shoul say everything…its relly strange acting….it was a couple of fights, when he said that i am hypercritical and dissatisfied. But everything ended of my jelous,becouse he often talked about other womens as friends.How can man and women be friend..and why then he didnt want to meet me with them?if they are just friends?unless they arent and our friendshipo and relationships was just illiusion. Now i dont know am i react right….i am very confused.

  163. Gigi says:

    hello, i need advice. i had been with my ex boyfriend for about 6 years. To make a long story short, he was my shoulder to cry on when i was going through my divorce..that took 4years. He has always gone out of his way for me and my two daughter. I have always taken him for granted, was not expressive with him and i never went out of my way for him yet i expected him to always go out of his way and he did. he did everything to make me happy and it was never enough. he also dealt with my bad attitude, mood swings and to top it off i broke up with him a couple of times to go back to my xhusband and other guys and he always begged and pleaded and cried and he would wait around for me and i always went back to him. The last couple of weeks i have been an emotional reck with my bad moods and i noticed he was distancing himself but i didn’t care because i knew he “wouldn’t leave me”. Well 3 weeks ago he finally got the courage to break it off with me. I was in shock so i desperately cried and asked him not to leave me but he stood his ground. i did no contact for 2 weeks because i knew in his heart he didn’t want to break up but my unhappiness within myself was causing me misery and him misery. Last Thursday after 2 week of no contact i went out and i knew he’d be at a local bar so i got the courage to tell him what i felt but i had no intention of trying to ask him to get back with me. When he saw me he was so impressed we immediately walked towards each other and hugged like never before. We talked and he told me he missed me and my daughters. He asked why had I not called him and he said he was planning on calling me to congratulate me on a new job he heard i got and to take my daughters out to dinner. He said breaking up with me really hurt him but he felt he had to do it as he was feeling out of love and miserable the last two weeks before he broke it off. I expressed my understanding. He said he wants to get back with me but the only thing holding him back is ME. He is afraid that if we get back it will be fine for 2 weeks and then I will go back to my old ways and he doesn’t want to keep coming in and out of mine and my daughter’s life. He said..”we are no officially back together, we are going to take baby steps”. I agreed. He said he did not want to be friends with benefits because he had too much respect and his feelings towards me were too strong. As I drove him home he said he felt relieved when he first broke up with me. He started hanging out with his friends, going to the gym, keeping busy. He also said he broke down crying. Then he goes on to say..i kept busy i didn’t even thing about you. I went to vegas with my friends and you didn’t even cross my mind. Isn’t that contradicting? but i didn’t question him, I just listened. Then he said. “ok..so we are not officially together, I still want to be single and it’s not because I want to be with other girls nor because I want to be out partying. I just listened and didn’t try to change his mind. Then he said i will take my dog to your house next week. He left for the weekend with his friends to AZ and came back Sunday. I haven’t heard from him. I am so confused. First he says he wants to take baby steps, what are baby steps? No contact at all? Please help me out. He was my best friend before being in a relationship. He was good to me, to my daughters, he was even friends with my ex husband so that we could all get along. please help me. i don’t know if i should contact him for clarification or if i should just do the no contact and see what happens

    • S. Williams says:

      Gigi says:

      i don’t know if i should contact him for clarification or if i should just do the no contact and see what happens

      Hi,

      How are you going to get “clarification” from someone who is purposely being vague?

      He is jerking you around and keeping you trapped in relationship limbo.

      If you want to get out of “limbo”, reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings, and get your life back, you need to use no contact correctly.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  164. Gigi says:

    forgot to add that when he initially wanted to end it he said i think we need a break and of course i thought I would scare him off a bit and said, We don’t need a break, if you wanna break, it is indefinitely. You don’t make me happy and I don’t make you happy and we are just together as a security blanket waiting for some one else to come along to make us happy. What we have will never amount to anything else.

    You see he would casually mention moving in together or having a child. I would always tell him “fk no! I already have my two daughters, been through a divorce and there is no way I am going to live with a man or have more children.

  165. Erin says:

    Hi,
    So five weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me. I feel blindsided because I didn’t see it coming. He only started getting distance so I gave him his space without worries, then he called and told me “He just doesn’t love me anymore but he likes me as a person.” What is that about?
    Also, two weeks ago we met up to exchange each others items and he was jerky to me with his words and actions but when I looked in his eyes, he looked at me like he always did. That confuses me? Then stupid me I begged for him back and of course he said no. I told him I understand what I did wrong because I was a little too needy and I told him I could change because I know I’m not his mother. He then told me, “Well I am not going to say no to getting back together right now but I’m not going to say yes either.” Since then I haven’t talked to him or even looked at his Facebook.But I am confused by what he meant by that? Did he just say that to get me off his case or does he want to see if I have changed?
    I have been reading the “Magic of Making Up” and focusing on me and improving who I am. I feel like the needy me is slowly disappearing and when I look in the mirror I feel better about myself. Do you think he will give me another chance if I keep applying the no contact rule and making myself a better person?

    • S. Williams says:

      Erin says:

      Do you think he will give me another chance if I keep applying the no contact rule and making myself a better person?

      Hi,

      You have a 50/50 chance to get your ex boyfriend back, but you need to evolve past the break up, and get your life back first.

      I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s, and I explain why in the “About” section of my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  166. h.ali says:

    me and my ex ended overnight when he got back with his ex gf
    we had many problems through out our relationship …many of which were caused by the group of people we went out with(which were his friends before they were mine) ..our main issue was that we are of different religions and in the society we live in our relationship is considered to be a dead end one.
    when he got back with his ex gf i let him b and acted as if i didnt care at all.. but this whole acting like you dont care stuff doesnt work. i remained that way for a year.. his ex gf dumped him.. he moved to another country alone leaving his family and friends behind bcuz his father said he had to prove himself. anyways i found out about something hed said about me one day that made me furious n he coincidently appeared online for the first time on my skype list and i asked him whether or not he was satisfied n if it was realy worth all the pain he caused me .. he said no n said that he owed me an explanation about everything that had happened n that he was sorry n also told my friends that he was sorry n that he was in the wrong and we started talking again through msgs and skype. to cut a long story short he was still insensitive after acting like i was better than him n cudnt care less even tho i knew he stared at me all the time with or without his ex gf with him. he used to tell me ‘we’re friends and id say no we’re not uve got alot of making up to do … in the end he tells me u still want me n ur not being honest and it cant happen its a dead end relationship n he got all cocky so i ended up deleting him from everything fone skype etc i even stopped talking to every1 he knew… he still never called… im dying i know for sure he loved me but saw no future … i want him to want me back .. hes made me feel worthless… even tho i dont show him and i know im an issue to him till this day his ex gf is like crazy jealous of me… what can i do to make him want me back? i dont even see him or his friends? i want him to want me back so bad even if we cant b together… let him feel wat its like :(

  167. Rachel says:

    Hi,

    My boyfriend and I were together for a year (and we’ve known each other for most of our lives, but only couldn’t be together then because my family moved around a lot. We got together when we were finally in the same place for good) but he recently broke up with me because he was confused about his feelings. He wasn’t sure I was ‘the one’ and whether or not he wanted to be married to me, even though we are only 20. His friends and family all think he is crazy, and they can’t understand why he suddenly felt like this because we were always so happy, they think he is making a huge mistake that he will regret (so it’s not just me who can’t understand). Initially after the break up, we went a week with no contact till he talked to me to see how I was and ask what I had been doing. I then wrecked the progress by asking him about the break up, and meeting up with him. We actually spent 11 hours straight with each other and had a great time. He cancelled other plans he had that day just to keep spending more time with me, and he was very affectionate. Then we meet up again and he had completely turned off again! saying he couldn’t get right back into the relationship right now, because we had only just broke up and he needed time to process things, and we needed a cooling off period. He said I was his best friend and he doesn’t want to lose me.

    I then ended things by saying friends was not an option for us, at least not for a long time. I was mature, and agreed that if this was the way he felt then breaking up was for the best. I then said i wanted time to myself, and he should take time too. I then suggested maybe in a few months we might catch up, and finished the letter with ‘who knows, maybe one day we might be friends again’.

    I employed the no contact rule after that, and in less than 2 weeks of not talking, he sent me a text to wish me happy birthday (I said thanks, but nothing more), he commented me on facebook (I did not reply), i found out he has been checking up on my profile constantly, and just two days ago he started a conversation with me (he has been signing into facebook chat just to see if i’m online, since he never used his facebook, or facebook chat before). He couldn’t chat for long, but he ended the conversation with ‘i have to go now, but i’ll talk to you soon’ (to which i just said ‘ok bye’, and it’s only been a day but i haven’t heard from him since then)

    I’m just confused about what all this means? he broke up with me, but is he starting to miss me and have regrets about ending the relationship? He’s not stupid, so I can’t imagine he thinks we’re friends already, especially since i was very clear on talking time apart and even then only suggesting that ‘one day’ we might be friends again.

    or could all this mean nothing at all?

    It would be nice to have some expert advice! I still love him very much, and want to make things work even if it means a lot of hard work on both our parts.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      You two are still fairly young and evolving as adults, so you will both go through different stages of what you want, and do not want.

      There is no way to make someone want the same things you want.

      So what is the best thing to do?

      I highly recommend you focus on evolving past the break up, and getting your life back, why?

      Because I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  168. Raychell says:

    Hello Scott,

    I have initiated the NC rule and within a matter of minutes my ex had text me back asking if I were ok. The reason he asked me this is because about 5 hours before I sent the NC letter to him we had a conversation and he let me know that he just didn’t feel that things were going to work. His exact words were “I was not trying to make u mad and no I am not saving you for later just feel like its not going to work for us.” I sent him to NC letter word for word and immediately after that he sent me a message asking if I were ok. I did not respond, he then sent me a message 20 minutes later asking what I was doing. I did not reply to that one either. Five hours later he sent me a message saying “:-( I still love you” this message was sent at 5:58 am. I did not reply. At 11:02 am he sent me a message “Good Morning”, then two hours after that he sent me a message saying “I guess your not talking to me” still I did not reply, the last message that he sent was 30 min later saying “every time I try to keep it real with you, you get mad and don;t want to talk so why do you ask me for the truth” I still have not replied. My issue is I don’t want him to think that the reason I am not talking to him is because I am mad at him. I want him to miss me and not end up mad at me because he thinks that I am mad at him. What do you suggest I do or am I doing the right thing? Help

    • S. Williams says:

      Raychell says:

      My issue is I don’t want him to think that the reason I am not talking to him is because I am mad at him. I want him to miss me and not end up mad at me because he thinks that I am mad at him. What do you suggest I do or am I doing the right thing?

      Hi,

      You’re doing Great! :-)

      But, he is not respecting your NC message, is he?

      He wants to break up, and suddenly you are the bad guy…yeah right!

      What you are experiencing is the beginning of his personal/emotional evolution.

      Because you didn’t behave like a little puppy dog, he is worried (not mad).

      Why should he be mad?

      You told him not to contact you, and you would be in touch when “you” are ready.

      So, he contacts you anyways, and you do not respond.

      What’s the big fucking mystery here?

      There isn’t any, just ex boyfriend drama.

      He just doesn’t like the fact that he has to make some hard decisions now.

      He wants to put them off while you rot in the just friends zone, real considerate, huh?

      Have faith in the plan and realize that you have done nothing wrong.

      This will be a true test of love for the both of you.

      You will find out how much you love yourself by doing what is right for you, getting your life back.

      And no contact will also reveal your ex’s true feelings for you as well.

      This is why I help people get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriends back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The NC message was only the first step of your personal evolution.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  169. Julie says:

    My Ex and i lived together for a few months, ove rhte past two weekd we have been fighting a lot. We took a get away trip to austin which was his idea and when we got back home fought over something really stupid but it was all my fault and i initiated the fight. He was ready to go to sleep but i didnt let him because i was hold a grudge and pissed at him. Eventually he got pissed at me and told me he is tired of all the fighting.He just wanted his space but i was so pissed at him that i purposely got in his face. He threatens to leave me all the time, however this time i feel that he has really made up his mind. He is still living with me however has been sleeping on the couch. I ask him to come back to bed with me and he refuses, he says that he is done with me and he wont take my apology and wont understand that i will try to change, he isnt giving me a chance. he says that he will be moving out in 2 weeks. I am really in love with him and before all the fighting had started we made plans for our future and spoke about a possible marriage. What do i do? he seems like he’s really made up his mind.

  170. Lynn says:

    I’m still living with my ex but contact has been minimal, mostly on my part, hes been the one who’s kept trying to make the efforts. However, he does want me to move out and even gave me a specific date. I try to keep myself away from him so i can keep my emotions under control, but I wonder if he ever misses the good times with me hes always trying to argue and bring up the things that ended our relationship. Is this a sign that he can’t let go of me? And when I move out, do you think he’ll realize he made a mistake when I stop contacting him completely?

    I’m also paranoid that hes been seeing someone else while I’m still here, I’ve noticed that hes been acting different, I could be wrong but I guess its normal to assume that right? How do i keep from being paranoid about that? I know how to use NC but I don’t know how to keep myself from getting upset over him being with someone else.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It doesn’t sound like you know how to use the no contact rule correctly.

      You need to focus on getting out of there, and getting your life back.

      I help people get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriends back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      As long as you cohabitate with your ex, and worry about his personal life, you will remain stuck in relationship limbo.

      Face it, your old relationship is over, and it’s time to bury it and move on with your life.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  171. Helen says:

    Hey S. Williams
    I’m completely devastated right now :’( he left me, and I could feel him slightly go away from me, he was very honest with me saying he just didn’t feel happy and he just couldn’t take it anymore. I weren’t always the best girlfriend I could be, but he weren’t the best boyfriend either, but I really really love him. He always told me when he moved on from his exes, that even though they NCed, he was always so determined to move on, that even though he missed them he would just move on. :’( I know I have to stick witht he plan to move on myself. But hasn’t it destroyed any hope for me ever getting back together? If someone is only determined to move on? I know I have to move on to find out if it is the best for me, but the hope was something that helped me keep my head up.. Now I’m sulking with ice cream, and the confidence is running low again.
    Maybe I only want him back for my own ego’s sake, I think it may be?
    Do you think there is a chance? We were together almost everyday during the 1 year we were together.
    But he is really stubborn and when he says he only wants to move on, I’m almost certain that is :’(
    I wanna move on too, but I also wanna have a chance later if I want to even though I know I can survive on my own. As for now, I will work on myself. Just really wanna hear your thoughts S. Williams, you seem to know your stuff…

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If someone is that determined to move on, and can move on that easily, he never really loved you as much as you imagined he did, it is just that simple.

      And if that’s the case, you are better off without him anyways, right?

      People can say anything, but it is their actions that speak the REAL truth.

      If you want to reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings for you, you need to use the no contact rule the correct way…my way.

      I help people get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – Anyone who “over emphasizes” how quickly they are going to move on are usually full of shit.

  172. Helen says:

    Hey S. Williams!
    I really really appreciate your answer, and I have signed up for your emails, and checking the free plan out!

    I have read a lot of other peoples questions, and the about section and everything now, and first I wanna tell you how much I appreciate your fast answer, I appreciate how much you help other people, it must be really much work, and you don’t even do it for the money. You are really a hero! I wish you all the best, and your work is SO great! I hope everyone who suffers the way I do will be lucky enough to find your site,you really get a kick to see where to head to, I do not feel as confused anymore! I wish you all the best, and take care!

    I’m off to an NC journey.

  173. Amanda says:

    So about two weeks ago my ex broke up with me because of some issues I was having with myself and also because he wanted more free time away to spend with his family and such (he spent a lot of his time with me)
    Of course I was hurt and begged for him back. After I few days I stopped contacting him. Though he gets on a lot of the sites I still get on we don’t make a move toward each other. He said he still loves me and such but he couldn’t take the fighting and the negativity coming from me. I grew up having a very difficult life, being put in foster care 3 times, watching my father die, being abused through most of my child life. I have told him why I am so negative all the time, and my nerves are shot from what I have been through. He tried understanding but I guess he just couldn’t take it. I love this guy so much, this is the first time I have ever been in love with someone. I would give up anything in the world to get him back..So I am trying it’s been the fourth day today with the no contact. It’s hard, but I feel stronger. And I just hope he will miss me and want me back…Is there anything else I should do? Anything at all to make this progress better?

  174. S. Williams says:

    Hi,

    He knew about your problems coming into the relationship, right?

    Now it sounds like he is using them as an excuse to breakup with you, he just wants out.

    I don’t know anything about abuse counseling, maybe you should seek out professional counseling for your emotional problems?

    I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

    Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the break up, and get your life back.

    Learn how to be happy on your own, you don’t need your ex boyfriend to make you happy.

    Thank you for writing.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  175. Ara says:

    My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me three weeks ago. He said it’s all because he’s the only one that wants the relationship. First I need to tell you that this guy has not been in school for two years of his life, he has no job, however, he aspires to be in the Marine Corps after he gets 15 credits from college. Just getting classes, he lags. My parents love him but it came to the point where they think that I’ve nowhere to go with him, they fear that I’m the only one who’ll put food on the table when we live together or basically, support him while he stays at home. Not trying to sell myself here but I’m very hard working, determined, ambitious, independent and I know what I want in my life after school. Me and him are total opposites but I love this guy so much, I would do anything for him. I miss him terribly and although we have not talked because of this thing called pride, I regret even answering his text message. It seems as though I’m competing with him. Anyway, I miss good morning texts, late night convo’s, pleasing him, I miss his voice, his touch, his attention. He went to a party the previous weekend (while I’m stuck studying for finals) and when I saw pictures (no girl) it just felt like I got stabbed in the chest. Ugh.

    I’m going to see my ex tomorrow, drive to his house to give him his stuffs back. I know we love each other and if anything, he’s the one who never failed to make me remember how much he loves me. It kills me way too much. I hope to rekindle this relationship with him but it seems like we hit the dead end. I want him back, I believe in him, I know his potentials but I just dk why, how we can’t be together. Tomorrow, I’ll make sure I’ll look pretty and dainty, dressed up and with a smile on my face. But idk what ‘overdone’ means to guys, Idk how to act, idk what to say. Idk what to expect. Should I ask him out? Should I flirt with him, tease him, touch his skin, compliment him, hug him, lean on him, talk to him about the past, blah blah blah… Idk. Should I even give his stuffs back this early in the break up? Please help me :/ What makes a woman desirable in your eyes again…?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      What makes a woman desirable to me isn’t necessarily what turns on another guy.

      I suggest giving him his stuff back ASAP, and saying nothing to him, just be polite.

      When you get home send him the recommended no contact message and start your personal evolution.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get him back is to get your life back first by correctly using the no contact rule.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  176. Paola says:

    hi s. williams,
    i am so relieved to have seen this website because i really need some ‘professional help’ day-to-day guidance stuff. i guess i need to tell you my story first. my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me last month. it’s not the ‘typical’ breakup situation we have here. you see, we, and two of our friends just started our medical school last month in a different country/place away from our homes. we have already paid for our studio type apartment for the whole year, we have the same classes, school…etc.. you name it. before school started, my boyfriend broke up with me saying ‘he’s not happy anymore. and he thinks we do not have a future together.’ i was devastated but i didn’t show it. i immediately bought magic of making up and get him back forever ebooks. i made the NC letter. but you see, i cannot make him absolutely ‘miss’ me because we have the same classes and house! i couldn’t go out much because of the hectic schedule of medical school. during the 3rd week, i broke down. stupid of me. and i told him to please leave me alone and go back to our country. he was very angry. and after that, we prayed for each other. then, now, i don’t know what to do. it’s almost a month after our breakup. i don’t text him, nor ignore him that much, but there is a tension between us. please help me? how do i make him miss me? aside from that, i heard he’s interested in another girl already. i’m doing my best not to panic at the thought but i really need some help right now. thanks!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      First off, I am NOT a “professional”, so this is not professional advice…just my opinion.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      If you want your man back for good, you must get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  177. Paola says:

    yup, i have read the free plan and have registered in your forum… the problem is, i couldn’t write the break up story and NC diaries cause i wasn’t able to log in the forum website… it always says that i have an ‘incorrect’ password.. and with my no contact situation, it seems like i have no choice but to respond sometimes when he’s asking about school stuff cause we do live together… do you have any other suggestions what words would i use if i were to write ANOTHER NC message for him? it’s really difficult because of our situation… and i do understand what NC means having been able to purchase the magic of making up book a couple of weeks ago… i really want to get my life back together and do the no contact rule effectively, but in my situation, it’s really very hard…that’s why i decided to join your forum so i would be able to see some situations the same as mine… unfortunately, i haven’t been able to read one situation the same as mine. and i want to join your forum badly to release my panic and fears and all that stuff.. thanks!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      You do not have to join our forum to follow the free plan to get your ex back and succeed.

      Keep reading (my Blog and forum) there are quite a few stories about roommates using the no contact rule to get their lives back.

      Start a home journal (as explained in the free plan) to “release panic and fears and all that stuff”.

      Our forum is NOT the place for that and one of the #1 reasons members get banned from posting.

      You need to fully understand the concept behind the free plan in-order to benefit from it, and that means reading, not posting…lots and lots of reading.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  178. Ann says:

    Hi- i was in love with this guys for 4 years and we loved each other very much and nothing could come between us we trusted each other.we use to have misunderstaning at times that he does not spend time for me but i trusted him very much. he moved to anther place after he got a job but we use to talk every day suddenly he said i am stressed at need a break and then he said i am like another girl. i tried hard but he said i have proposed to her and she said ok. will i ever get him back. does he still love me.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      You can use the no contact rule to reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  179. molly says:

    Hi me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 months and recently we had our fights but made up. well this weekend that just past i went up to his aunts cottage and we were having a good time till we went on the seadoo and my boyfriend fliped it and i got hurt bruised and scratched my leg so i got mad at him and basically that ruined our weekend. then yesturday i texted him and he said things dont seem the same with us anymore and that he would call. He called me and broke up with me. I asked him if he wanted to break up he said no and that he had feelings for me but then he did. He said he could committ and that we were to young and that the distance hour drive was killing him cause we only saw each other 2twcie a week. so all he has saying were excueses. i told him if he broke up with him i would be out of his life and not be friends with him. so i just decided to say ” i wish you all the best and said goodbye and hungup the phone. I didnt cry on the phone im more mad then upset. i have tryed to contact him just waiting to seem if he does. for the no contact rule could i just leave it the way i did or do i have to write the no contact rule message?

    • molly says:

      I havent tryed to contact him- i missed said that.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      The NC message outlined in the free plan is necessary if you want the best results in the least amount of time.

      It doesn’t matter what you or your ex boyfriend said or did.

      I help people use the no contact rule in the most effective way to evolve past the break up and get their life back again.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  180. Wanda says:

    My boyfriend and I broke up about three weeks ago. I begged him the friday we broke up, called him on tuesday to make certain he was sure and beg him a tad more, and didn’t talk to him since. But I broke the no contact rule about a week later and texted him to which he didn’t answer. And then about another week later inboxed him saying I was ready to be friends. I broke the NC rule various times, but I’ve stayed strong for about over a week now and I’m sure I will not contact him first again. Did I mess everything up? Or is there a chance he’ll miss me anyway?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Since you fucked up the NC process from day one, you will need to start over and do it right, and that means sending the recommended NC message.

      You can use the no contact rule to reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you, if you use it correctly.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get your guy back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  181. Monkey says:

    So my ex and I broke up about a week ago, he broke up with me… I cried and stuff even though my mind said be cool and just act like im okay with it, i did NOT keep it together. Silly Me ;) Anyways, I sent the NC message [exact] the next day and he “responded”, a few days later, by tagging me in a photo on google plus.

    I had already deactivated my fb and deleted my google plus [how did he tag me]the day we broke up. well i have a google profile and i guess he can tag me with, idk, so I deleted that too after I got the email. I haven’t heard from him since.

    Well school is starting soon and I have a bunch of his things, stuff I’m not throwing away because he was supposed to get it a long time ago. I just need help on how to give him his things back. What I should say if he wants to talk. I put everything in the trunk of my car so he won’t be coming into my house.

    I don’t think he would show up unannounced, but he may ask for his belongings before I’m ready. I think I’d be okay with giving him his stuff that day, he’s moving into his new place so its not strange that he needs his stuff.

    But I need a little guidance on what to say if he brings up the relationship or getting together or wanting to know what I’m doing. Stuff like that. I HAVE to keep together, not like when we broke up.

    My evolution process is going fine. I forgave him and myself for everything we ever did wrong in the past. I was over holding onto the past, that’s part of the reason we broke up. I’ve been into God lately and has made me so much stronger. I usually would have broke down by now, and I would have been holding a huge grudge against him. Also, working out and eating right has made me feel so good:)

    I have MOMU and read this blog but I haven’t found my answer.
    This was supposed to be short, oh well lol

    • S. Williams says:

      Monkey says:

      I just need help on how to give him his things back. What I should say if he wants to talk.

      Hi,

      This is explained in one of the NC articles linked to the free plan.

      If he tries to talk about the break up, the no contact rule, or your current personal (dating) life.

      The best way to reply would be to say: “I am not ready to talk about that right now.”

      This statement will reinforce what you said in the NC message you sent to him earlier.

      The worse thing you can do during NC is to send “mixed signals” this will only piss your ex boyfriend off and confuse him.

      Stick to the free plan to get your ex back, and do not break the no contact rule.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – If you feel this would be too much for you, you can always have a friend do the exchange for you, or come with you when you do it.

  182. Monkey says:

    thanks!!! I’m probably gonna end up having a friend come with me. Me and my ex were together 2 years so…it won’t be easy to just say I’m not ready and leave it at that.:/

    I know myself oh so well haha

    thanks again

  183. Monkey says:

    Also, I guess this could help other people in my situation. Its all about that fact that our exes know us very well. We are used to letting our guard down with them and that first contact is much like a first impression. You HAVE to be on your game or else you just messed everything up.

    Even if I do feel ready, I’m still going to bring a friend. Just to make sure I keep my guard up and keep things short. Business is business. Change isn’t always bad, I’m making a choice that can only prove to be a good thing for my life. I can’t let my ex stand in the way, especially since that really lies with me. Choice is a POWERFUL thing. We all need to remember that.

  184. Kay says:

    Hi! So It has bEen more than a month I followed the rules etc. I also am following the magic of making up. So I called him and he answered right away and said how surprised he was that I called. We talked for a bit and told me how he’s going away for 10days the following week. So I said oh I guess that ruins my plan to meet up for lunch next week and he quickly responded saying what about this week?! So we met up two days after that call. Oh and 2hra aftter that call he texted how surprised he was to get a text from me and I said j hope it was a good surprise an he said defiantly a good surprise. Anyway we hung out for no more than 45mins we didnt talk about the relationship. 20mins after I left he texted me “it was really good to see you :) even if it was only briefly” I responded saying yes it was fun! He wrote back saying we should catch up again when he’s back in town.
    Anyway he hasn’t initiated a text since then. I initiated a Text once telling him something funny. He’s gone today for ten days.
    I donno what to do now. I donno If he’s just happy cause he thinks we can be friends again. we were in love and together more than a year. Do I stop initiating contact again? I miss him.
    I do know that he has been talking to an ex of his they dated like a month three years ago. I’m tempted
    To check her fb to see if he writes to her.
    You’re help would be greatly appreciated. I just don’t know what to do now.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      First off let me say this, 30 days is only a bench mark and 99% of the time is never long enough for the no contact rule to work effectively.

      The majority of these break up success stories will attest to that statement.

      I am not sure what you meant by “you followed the rules”, does that mean you followed ALL the steps in the free plan to get your ex back?

      Spying on your ex will not do you any good, and is definitely a sign of desperation, which means you were not ready to reconnect with your ex.

      You said he is leaving out of town for 10 days, right?

      I suggest you wait a week after he gets back, and if he doesn’t contact you, send the recommended no contact message as outlined in the free plan to get your ex back and start your personal evolution.

      Make sure you review chapter 6 of The Magic of Making up for more details on the reconnection phase in-case he does contact you after he gets back…make sense?

      Now, if he contacts you and just wants to be friends, start following the free plan to get your ex back, and send the NC message.

      The last place you want to find yourself in, is, “the just friends zone”, also known as relationship limbo.

      The reason NC hasn’t worked for you is probably the fact that you didn’t follow ALL the steps in the free plan to get your ex back.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  185. sheika says:

    I was dating this guy from my job and he broke up with me. I was so hurt,I asked him why, i was sorry, and he just said that we wasn’t or I wasn’t ready.he had a lot of issues with him.but I think i loved him. so , i ended that conversation with me saying that i was hurt, and i didn’t call for him for a week i even stayed home from work. so when i went back to work, i saw him in the hall and we talked for a hour, he wanted to know what i been doing, he been going on face-book to see my status and my pic, he told me all this when he saw me, he even told me he had free time for two weeks and he was going to spend time with me. and in that moment, i thought he was trying to get back with me, and when the time came nothing he stop picking up my call again,I feel he is seeing someone else.and what hurts me is when i see him at work he wants to talk and smile in my face.
    so, what i did this time around when he didn’t pick up my call i deleted him from my face-book, so he won’t see whats going on in my life. I took a little vacation from work so i won’t see him for a while, and his position at work he can tell if i am there are not.but i am so hurt.but i want him back.. but i know i need to stay away for a while

  186. Poetess says:

    One week ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 8 months because of commitment issues (his fear of/refusal to). He revealed that he had unresolved feelings from a previous relationship (from years ago…and he ws still in contact with her sometimes). Two days after the breakup, he has emailed me, apologizing profusely for hurting me. I did not answer. A few days after that, he texted me about returning some items that I left at his house – I didn’t respond to that either. I do want him back, but not now. I want him to work through his issues before I could take him back…but I also want him to realize what he has and that he doesn’t want to lose me. I feel that’s already happened a little, since he initiated contact. I have typed out a response to his email, explaining what I desire in a relationship, I want him to take time to work thru his issues, and that I can not/will not take anything less…but I have not sent it yet. My question to you is: since I broke up with him, and he’s already contacted me with an apology, should I go ahead and send the email I wrote now, wait to send my email (if I should wait, how long??), or initiate your NO CONTACT??

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I would just delete your email, it was good therapy to write it out, but you won’t get the results you are after by sending that to your ex.

      Anytime you feel you have something to say to him, write it in a home journal, but don’t send it to him, you will regret it.

      The best way to reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you is to use the no contact rule correctly.

      It doesn’t matter if you broke up with him, there is a version of the (recommended) NC message for that situation, read the plan.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  187. Rena ann says:

    Hello- I was with my ex-boyfriend for over six years.We have been separated for just over a year now. We tried to work things out a few times and then just stopped talking. Recently we have started talking again. He has taking me to dinner a few times. He has stayed over once. If he just wants to be friends why does he pay for everything like we are together? Why does he want to snuggle? But then everytime we start to get close he says we are just friends and sorry if he was misleading me. Im glad we are talking and hanging out again. Just not sure what to do or how to take this. Does anyone have any advice? I love him with all my heart. I have tried to date but nothing works out because I truely feel this is the man Im suppose to marry

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It sounds like you’re in the “friends with benefits zone”, and the paying for dinner, and “snuggling” are just some of the things he is willing to do for the “benefits” of “unattached sex”.

      You are screwed (not in the good way) if you don’t wake up and stand up for yourself.

      You can’t marry someone if they don’t want to be married.

      The reason the dating isn’t working out is because you’re not putting “much” effort into it.

      If you put as much effort into correctly using the no contact rule to evolve past this break up and get your life back, as you do into trying to convince yourself this guy is the one, you would be a lot happier.

      Drugs make people feel happy for a little while, but what happens when they wear off, in the long they cause way more pain/damage than pleasure.

      You need to break your addiction to this guy, there is a big difference between obsession and love, and “booty calls” and a meaningful relationship.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  188. Vanessa Perez says:

    Im not sure what to do anymore. I was with my ex-fiance for 4 years. We got into a big arguement and stopped talking to each other for almost 6 months. He came looking for me and I missed him so much. We hung out a couple of times and we did end up having sex, and I know that was wrong of me to do. When we hang out he tells me that he misses me and that he misses how we use to be. We have become best friends again and I do have a boyfriend now but my feelings are so strong for him. My ex hates that I have a boyfriend now, I recently went to California to see my boyfriend. My ex called me and text me everyday, to see if I was ok and he said that he missed hearing my voice. When I came back he gave me the biggest hug and told me that he really missed me. He sometimes says things about us getting back together and when I ask him if we will ever get back together all he tells me that he doesnt know what to do. Should I even bother to fight for a future with my ex or should I just give up on us. Some people say that maybe it would be better to just give up on him but I dont know what to do anymore.Please help me with any type of advice.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It appears that your ex wants to be friends with benefits.

      He sometimes says things about us getting back together and when I ask him if we will ever get back together all he tells me that he doesnt know what to do.

      He is just stringing you along, if he wanted you back, he would have asked you to come back, not just feed you enough bullshit to confuse you.

      As long as he has you confused, he will get the friends with benefits, and you will only get “more” confused.

      I recommend that you use the no contact rule, and end this FWB situation.

      Plus, your boyfriend in CA doesn’t deserve to be cheated on.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  189. Ky says:

    Hello, I have a personal dilemma. I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years about 2 years ago, I tried to contact him last year and it didn’t end well and realized I wasn’t ready. I’m still not over him and not sure how to get him back. HE said he is dating another girl, and seems to have moved on, but is joking with me and texting me back rather soon..after I contact him. Hes the kind with an ego and is a bit self-centered. Any advice? Please? thanks.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It sounds like he is looking for something “on the side”, and he figures since you are still not over him, that he will use that to his advantage.

      If he has a girlfriend, what is he doing flirting with you?

      Sounds like a real trustworthy guy.

      I would advise you to use the no contact rule, and evolve past your ex boyfriend, and finally move on.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

      • Ky says:

        Is that what you think? I actually did no contact for a year at a time, I did tell him last year I wanted him back accidently over the phone. Is there anyway I can grab his attention? He actually told me too he has not be intimate since me..

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          Yeah, he is definitely after some side sex.

          He hasn’t been intimate in over 2 years?

          Yeah right.

          If you used the no contact rule, you obviously didn’t use it correctly.

          That is why I recommend you follow every step in the free plan.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  190. manjolet says:

    can i get my ex boyfriend back? Even if he wants to friends not to be in a relationship with me again??

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Staying friends with your ex while you still have deeper feelings is a bad idea, it will not help you get him back, it will only help him to move on, and leave you stranded in relationship limbo.

      You need to refuse his offer of friendship, and start using the no contact rule to get over the breakup.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Make a commitment to yourself to stay in no contact for at least 12 months, and do not focus on getting your ex back – let your ex go.

      Your main focus is to break your dependency on your old relationship (and your ex) for happiness, and reestablish your life as a Happy Healthy single person.

      This is much more important than getting your ex back, and in 12 months you will realize what I’m saying is true.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

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