Does My Ex Miss Me? – How to Get My Ex Boyfriend Back
Making your ex miss you is your first step in how to “get my ex boyfriend back” again. “Well, does my ex miss me?” Don’t you think a better question would be how do I make “my ex boyfriend” miss me?
Step 1 – Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You
The easiest way to make your ex boyfriend miss you is to disappear from his radar. If you are constantly in his face asking about the break up, and when will you get back together again. He is not going to start to miss you, make sense? If you start to pull away from him he will notice, and wonder why. Now you have started to turn the tables, and you are back on his mind again…even if he is dating another woman.
Another way to get the ball rolling is to use the no contact rule, and send an effective NC message. A correctly written NC message will flip your ex boyfriend’s switch, and make him start to miss you even faster, sound good? It should, and if you don’t use a no contact message you will be setting yourself back, so don’t be afraid to send it. So, “does my ex miss me?” Well, if he doesn’t he soon will after you finish learning how to “get my ex boyfriend back.”
Step 2 – Reconnect With Your Boyfriend
Once you have been following a good plan using the no contact rule things will begin to evolve nicely. Your ex boyfriend will start coming around more, and you will take back more and more control…the right way. Getting your ex boyfriend back requires a good balance between pushing and pulling..what do I mean? You need to keep him interested enough without falling back into the friends with benefits zone.
You will become very good at this because during your NC period you would have been following a series of exercises designed to give you back your confidence, and self control. The needy, scared little girl he broke up with no longer exists. “Does my ex miss me?” I would say he not only misses you, but loves this new woman you have become. You personally and emotionally evolving is how to “get my ex boyfriend back”, and how to get him back and keep him forever.
Free Step-By-Step System
Just in-case after reading all that you’re still scratching your head, I can help you understand, and I will do it for free. I run a revolutionary Blog, and Forum/Chat Room that takes a whole new approach to “getting my ex boyfriend back”, and it works! I don’t care how many books you bought or read…you haven’t seen anything like what I have to offer you.
If you want to learn how to make your ex miss you and to get your ex boyfriend back, join my free newsletter for access to a free step by step system to get your life and your ex back fast. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.
Until next time,
S. Williams
~I know that “love hurts” but with my help you will get strong enough to kick love’s ass~
http://www.howtogetyourexbackfast.com
Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You are free to reprint this article, as long as you do not change anything in the article – it must be in it’s original form…including my name, website address, and this statement.
hello my name is joane a couple of weeks aho i brokeup wit my ex
out of anger and mixed emoyions. It was the biggest mistake I’ve
ever made i tried to work things out but he rejected saying hes not
ready for a relationship and meeds space. I finally agreed and gave Jim
space he recently text me for Christmas calling me sweety and in one
note he sayed sweet dreams which he only said when we were together.
i wanted to know does he still still love me? Then the other day i wrote
him an NC message he replies back “I guess the decision to splitup
was the best thing for us now. Even though it is extremely hard.” He also
asked if ive moved on or something? and Am i seeing someone now? To
me he sounds unsure of everything but i didnt reply back letting
him wonder. Is this a good sign? I also wanted to know how long should i keep the NC rule?
joane wrote:
Hi Joane,
It sounds like he is very unsure about his decision to break up.
What NC message did you send, was it the one recommended in the free plan?
Go read the free plan all the way through, and then start over from the beginning and follow every step.
If you already sent the recommended NC message (word for word) then skip that part, if you didn’t…send it ASAP.
NC is not about an amount of time, it is about an evolution, and each one takes as long as that person needs to evolve.
*Hint-The better you follow the plan without hesitation and mistakes…the faster you will evolve.
Take Care,
S.W.
My ex and I broke up near middle of Oct, nearly January now. Before i found your website, i unfortunately “begged”. But after some sense was knocked into me near November, I don’t contact him at all. He has begun talking to me, every so often. He even told a friend of mine that he somewhat misses me. But that’s all its gotten to. I show him that I’m happy without him, not depressed or angry. I don’t beg for him to come back. When I do talk to him, I show him that I’m happy and doing great.
I haven’t seen him since he broke up with me. I was supposed to see him through a friend, but plans were canceled.
Ques I am asking here, what else should I do? and should i send the message, “I’m okay with the break up blah blah” at all now?
If you can give me any other info/tips/help, that would be greatly appreciated.
Hi scott u mention that there has to be an equal pushing and pulling in order to keep a man that is were my biggest downfall is .is that to do with me insecurity to pull and cling to men if that’s the case do I need to go back an use those free tools in the plan becoz I need to correct this immediatly as its a big issue to me as I’ve done this with every man I’ve bein in a relationship with thannx
kel wrote:
Hi kel,
If you feel the NC message and the free plan is just “blah, blah, blah”, maybe you’re on the wrong website?
Maybe if you keep searching you can find an “easier” plan to follow.
I work with “ass kickers” not ass kissers…big difference, especially when it comes to succeeding.
Come back when you’re ready to kick some ass, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
natalie10 wrote:
Hi natalie,
You will over come this, and learn how to do it in time.
This is not something you can read in a book and then repeat successfully…you have to feel it.
You must start your personal evolution correctly using NC, and then let yourself evolve for as long as it takes.
Otherwise you will be doomed to screwing up your relationships from now to until the day you die, understand?
This free plan, Blog, and forum is for the sole purpose of getting your life back again, and to learn how to handle yourself in a relationship.
It is not about just getting your ex back…there are steps that need to be taken before that will ever happen, take them first, and succeed…skip them and fail.
Invest the time now, and live a happier more fulfilled life afterwards.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hi Scott….
So, I’ve been trying to do the no contact thing (we broke up officially Dec 6). Anyway, he has been calling and texting on average once a week. I haven’t been answering the texts (especially because they usually come at 5 am, no idea why). Today he text me to ask can he come by to pick up the last of his belongings from my home. Of course I can’t deny him access to his things. I told him yes and to let me know when he is on the way. How do I handle this meeting to handoff his belongings?
@ S. Williams:
okay..
When I put the “blah blah” I wasn’t referring to the information, more the fact I didn’t feel like typing the rest of the message in the blog.
However, I did send the full NC message to him via text.
li li wrote:
Hi li li,
You handle it “professionally” make believe it is something you have to do for work, and you want to do it and get it over with as quickly as possible…make sense?
If you feel like it will be too much for you too handle, have someone else meet with him, or leave his stuff outside when you know he is coming.
You are NEVER trapped, you control each and every aspect of your life, and he can not make you do anything you don’t want to.
He will not die without his stuff or else he would have taken it with him when he decided to break up with you, right?
If you feel like he is going to try to pull some shit to get you to break NC…make alternate plans that will suit you…not him, OK?
Stay Strong!
S.W.
kel wrote:
Hi kel,
Great Job! (Thumbs High)
Now you have taken the first step, make sure you have read, and understand the whole free plan, and then follow each every step after the NC message.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
If you ever read some of the assholes comments I have had to deal with on my Blog, you would understand why I get right to the point when people seem doubtful.
yes, haha I saw some of them. But thank you for the advice.
Professionally, got it! Emotional control. I miss him and I want him back, but I won’t show him that.
li li wrote:
Go Kick His Ass li li!
Stay Strong!
Yes you r rite I do need this nc time I have found some very usefull tips on confidence with them self help tips I rushed through nc last time now I no why that was a mistake I wasn’t a single inch near ready the key is me first then the ex thanx scott I have the jist at last
Hi Scott :
Happy New Year !!
It has been three weeks of NC and I didn’t call my ex at all.
However, i found out he went out w/ his ex and to L.A w/ his female fds for Xmas. He seems so happy and enjoy his life w/o me.
We live close,and I see his car is not @ his house most of the time.I start feeling he may have a new gf already. Based on what he does during these three weeks, I really doubt he will miss me. How can he miss me when i know he is so happy with his life w/ his fds or even his ex ?
EX BF came to the house last night to get his things. Kept if very brief. I was polite. He didn’t even sit down. He asked how I was and how my trip home went. I asked him to take a look at the router to my computer that he’d set up previously because it wasn’t working. Long story short, he did and the problem was in the wall not the router. He was there for about 5 minutes total. I think i did ok, but I regret asking him to look at the router. Old habits. However, i didn’t get all misty and emotional. Didn’t talk about the relationship. I didn’t have verbal diarrhea, nor did I ask him lots of things about him. What do you think scott? i can’t tell if its working or if i am working against it.
Orangepekoooo wrote:
Hi OP,
First, 3 weeks isn’t shit…you just started NC so don’t get all jumpy, OK?
You didn’t “find out” shit…you are spying.
If you’re friends are feeding you this stuff it is 99% lies, tell them to mind their own fucking business.
Second, you are spying on your ex and making assumptions.
Assumptions you can not prove…so what’s the point?
Refresh my memory so I can find the step in the plan that tells you to spy on your ex and fill your head with a bunch of negative bullshit?
If you want to fail…continue doing what you’re doing.
You are on the right track.
If you want to succeed, stop acting like a baby, and start following the steps as outlined in the free plan…OK?
Stay Strong!
S.W.
li li wrote:
Hi li li,
I think that you’re on your way.
You handled everything well, now let NC do it’s work while you and your ex personally evolve past your old failed relationship.
Great Job li li! (Thumbs High)
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hi scott u say that when u send ur recommended nc message to your ex its gives him a sucker punch what does that actually mean an if he is with another girl how can she sense I’m pulling him back thanx
@ natalie10:
These things are explained in the free plan, and in the many Blog posts about NC.
If you really want to learn quickly join our forum and interact with the other members instead of “hiding” on my Blog posting comments.
I’m scared that I have waited to long to send my NC message. He has pretty much cut me out now. He is annoyed with me and keeps telling me to get a hold of him for coffee then never following through with the plans. Im scared to send it because i fear people are right that i will get over him and find out that he isnt the one for me. I also fear that maybe at the end of it i will find out he is the one and he will still no longer have feelings for me. In my mind im almost certain that he has made up his mind and will not give into anything i plan to do to get him back. I wish I could read minds.
Anna wrote:
Hi Anna,
How do you like the prison you built for yourself?
That’s right…you built it all by yourself with your fears.
You will remain trapped in there until you get the “guts” to walk out of it by sending the recommended no contact message, and starting your personal evolution.
You can run, but you can’t hide from the truth…reveal it, face it, and then get on with your life.
Or you can hide like a fucking little baby sitting in a dark corner sucking on your thumb feeling sorry for yourself.
I work with “ass kickers” not ass kissers…OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
Hey Scott, its been nearly 2 weeks since i initiated nc. Im keeping up with it, even thought its hard. i like to think of it as a game. and if i cheat, i lose. lol, my competitiveness doesn’t really want that.
but my ques here is, should i delete my ex from facebook?
we don’t talk through it, but would it be better? so whatever i’m doing, he wont have the ability to see?
kel wrote:
Hi Kel,
I would recommend that you do that…it removes any temptation to peek at what he is doing too.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hey, sooo my boyfriend and I have been broken up for about a year now. We have been hanging out still, a lot..and its more than friends. I always talk to him about getting back together with him but he always says “he doesnt’ know what he wants” but when I do step away and not talk to him or just get out of town for a while-like go on vacations, or go visit my parents for like a week or two at a time, he always begs me to come back and says he wants to figure out everything. However when I get back to hanging out with him nothing ever happens. Its like he knows that he can “have his cake and eat it to”. I don’t want it to be like this but I do want to be with him. I just recently told him that we’re either going to be dating or nothing because its clear we can’t be just friends. I need some advice as to what to do now.
taylor wrote:
Hi Taylor,
You’re right on the money…now what are you willing to do about it?
You can follow the free plan at the top of my Blog, and take away his cake.
Your personal evolution will reveal the truth about his feelings, and yours too.
Take Care,
S.W.
its been 12 days since we broke off and 5 days since i started NC as per ur free plan by sending the NC msg and all.
even after all these he HASNT CHANGED HIS PASSWORDS to any of his accounts whereas i already have had access to all of those since we started dating 15 months back and hence he is aware.
even he had asked to be friends and said, “i like you so much but u see…”
however i declined with my NC.
what does all of these attitudes of his indicate??
he is a an honest man i know. we did not break up on an ugly spat. we both were calm.
Hi Scott,
I’ve just send my ex the NC (word for word). I’m ready to begin my evolution. I still haven’t been able to sign up for the forum yet. Can you advise what else I might be able to do so that I can log my progression?
Thanks for your help. You’re the best.
Hi Scott. My question is this… What’s the point in sending the NC letter when my ex has blocked every number I can call him from? He basiclly has given me the NC letter.
carol wrote:
Hi,
What’s the point?
What’s the point of asking for help, and not following all of the advice?
The point is…you are taking control of the situation now, and in order to do that you need to send the recommended NC message, word for word.
If you are not going to use every tool at your disposal to succeed…what’s the point?
Take Care,
S.W.
P.S. I have explained NC all over my Blog…go read, start with the free plan, OK?
Ok… I mailed him a NC letter.I also informed him he could cancel ALL the phone blocks since I would no longer be trying to contact him as well.
heyyyy hi SCOTT!!!
been 10 days since i commented here or interacted u via the blog.
and the 3rd week of my NC. YES!! i dont blv its been over 20 days since i last interacted with my ex. last i did was by sending him the NC msg recommended by u via sms, 21 days bak.
and he hadnt replied to it.
so we havnt contacted eachother after that. reminding u, we had a sober breakup with no pressing or pleading by me. i “accepted his decision ” as i love him.
and these 3 weeks now i have been following ur FREE PLAN thoroughly.
i am hanging out with pals, i goto the gym regularly, i am studying too for my MBA entrance exams, i am reading novels, watching movie.
i am living a normal life, but MINUS HIM.
its difficult but i am following as u said.
but in these 3 weeks, as i have disappeared from his radar, even he had completely disappeared from mine!!
is that normal??
i mean i am following the NC and keeping mah dignity but at the same time i realise that i still love him from ther core and i want him back!!
is his no curiusity and this total isolation from me normal Scott?
zenia wrote:
3 weeks is nothing, it takes a lot longer for no contact to work.
Someone just posted in our forum that they are getting married after getting back together.
It took her over 3 months to be successful, now she’s getting married.
This plan will reveal your ex’s true feelings, if he really loves you he will come back, if not, he won’t.
Just stick to the plan, it works.
The one thing I have learned is that nothing is “normal.”
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hi! My name is Victoria and my ex broke up with me because he claims that he needs to get his relationship with his mother better. i like him so much and yes every time were at school i try to find out and hang out with him. i just want him back but i dont know how. Please Help me!!!
P.S
i DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A NC message!!!
Victoria wrote:
Hi Victoria,
No problem, go read the free plan (link at the top of my Blog), and it will take you step by step through the process.
Make sure you follow all the steps after you send the recommended NC message, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi, I use NC 5 days and my ex already text me. He is worry about me. He wants to know If I am Ok (becouse he has bad dream or what?).
When I will answer, will I break NC?
Can I write:
Im Ok. dont worry about me. Hope you are good as well.
?
Thank you
Marika wrote:
No, that would be breaking NC.
You’re ex is using sympathy to get you to break no contact…don’t be a fool!
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Thank you.
and one more quastion…
(probably I know the answer, just want to be sure)
If he will call me?
…do not pick it up?
Marika wrote:
How come there is ALWAYS one more question?
That’s right, avoid contact with your ex, and go read the free plan on my Blog, it will explain no contact, and the rest of the plan in great detail.
The link is under “Pages” on the upper right hand side of my Blog.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi Scott!!!
I pushed my fiance away with accusations of cheating…my insecurities from past relationships!!! I regret this terribly and now we are still living together as I have children enrolled in elem. schhol and finances do not allow me to move at the present time…he has said that he needs time to see that I can stop my jealous ways and we will live together as friends until schhol gets out and whatever happens happens….I want him back so bad!!! I never realized that I was losing him until it was too late!!! Any suggestions under these circumstances???
michelle wrote:
Hi,
I suggest you both go (together) for counseling, and try to work things out.
Take Care,
S.W.
hi Scott!my ex broke up with me over a month ago after 2years of being together.he broke up with me over the phone and the reason he broke up with me was because ‘his head wasn’t in the relationship anymore, and he wasnted to be on his own and concentrate on work.’ he moved up to london 10months ago for work and things had got harder between us as we didnt get to see one another much anymore-but when we were together we had the best time! the first week of us breaking up i txt him a few times asking to meet up and telling him how uch i loved him, but he just replyed saying ‘he didnt want to meet up and speak,and that he wasnt looking on getting back together-he was happy on his own’ i have not contacted him since then-and that was over three weeks ago.he has deleted all our photos of facebook and seems to be moving on.just wanted some advice…do you think he will want to speak in time?
Jo wrote:
Hi Jo,
I am not a psychic, but I do offer a free plan that will help you get your life back, and also reveal your ex’s true feelings.
If you’re interested the link is at the top of my Blog.
Take Care,
S.W.
hi SW:
since i owe him some $, is it OK to slip a handwritten NC letter along with it thru his mail slot (OR send it thru snail mail)
or does that look like i’m trying too hard?
besides everything else, i am an honest person who doesn’t think i am trying to rip him off. or should i wait for him to contact me for the $$?
thoughts?
BD :wave:
BabyDoll wrote:
You should email the recommended NC message to him ASAP.
When you have the money send it to him, don’t wait to pay him to start using the free plan, OK?
hey sw, i have a question. i have kept the no contact for 3 months now, i have not seen my ex nor talked to him.
however,there’s a pretty good chance i am going to see him today because of a mutual gathering i just found out we are both going to through a friend of his that decided to tell me?… if i bump into him at this, what should i do? just act somewhat friendly and polite, but pretend i dont care? and i cant back out, since its through my dancing school and his, a culture thing that both are needed to attend. :rambo:
her0 wrote:
I have a question too.
Did you follow all the steps in the free plan 3 months ago, or did you just stop talking without sending the recommended NC message?
You see, there is a giant difference between the 2, and if you didn’t use NC correctly your results will not be the same.
Why don’t you read the free plan, the link is at the top of my Blog.
NC is a step by step process.
Take Care,
S.W.
yes, i did send the NC letter from this site in late december. he never replied. and i have never talked to him as i said before.
her0 wrote:
Why didn’t you follow the rest of the steps in the free plan, and join our forum?
You would have learned a lot more about how this whole process works.
There is more to it then just sending the message, it is a process, and you have to personally evolve to become ready for the reconnection process.
This is all laid out in the free plan, and in chapter 6 of the book MOMU.
Take Care,
S.W.
Ok…so my fiance’ told me 7 days ago that she “needed a break”. I kind of freaked out at first and when we talked later I told her that maybe I need to take this time to think about things too. Then ended with telling her that I hope she understands by taking this break she runs the risk of losing me forever. Since then
Tues-Her text-”can you talk” Me-maybe tomorrow
Thurs-text her to see how things are going. We ended up on the phone for 15 min talking about everyday stuff. No realationship stuff.
Fri-ME text (drunken state late at night) Are you up?
Saturday-She called me up and had a 5 min conversation about everyday stuff.
Today…I sent the NC letter. I have mixed feelings about it. Especially when the ex husband is constantly around for “the sake of the kids”.
I feel somewhat empowered but also nervous! What is my next step? Can this be salvageable?
Dave wrote:
Hi Dave,
I hope you sent it word for word…if so..Great Job Dave! :thumbup:
That is completely normal, just read the NC diaries in our forum.
If you changed the NC message re-send the original version outlined in the free plan.
Dave wrote:
You should!
You have just taken control of your break up situation, this is the only way to get the results you want.
Don’t worry about her ex husband, if you follow the plan correctly he won’t have a chance.
Stay Strong! :rambo:
S.W.
He knows me really well and will think i am trying to manipulate him or sound very self important when i say: ‘big decisions’. also, I know it will sound pompous to say I will be in touch when I am ready.
please don’t get mad at me, i’m just sayin’!!!
BabyDoll wrote:
Hi,
It’s time to get a fucking life.
BabyDoll wrote:
“He will” this, and “He knows” that, fuck this guy. :kickbutt:
Why does everything revolve around him, what about what you want?
Don’t you have a life of your own?
Probably not, and that is what the free plan, and your personal evolution will give back to you, with some hard work, and a lot of courage.
Just send the recommended NC message, or throw in the towel, and give up on getting your life back…for a long time.
I just approved your forum membership, make sure you complete those first 3 steps or you won’t be an “active” member for long.
Stay Strong! :rambo:
S.W.
hey scott.
i have followed the NC rule after sending the NC message 3 months ago. I have deleted my ex from facebook, and have not contacted him at ALL since sending the NC message. I have followed the plan to the best extent, i believe. and i hsve been following the personal evaluation . I am actually feeling quite better.
However after trying to move on, all those feelings came spurring back after going on a date with a new guy.
Sunday i saw my ex at large a st. patricks gathering. i finally believed it was time to text him. i kept it short and avoided i, we, anything about us etc.and he asnwered pretty quickly and was very friendly and seemed pretty interested in my life. i made sure i was brief but mysterious and happy i told him i had to go and we should talk soon. he said yeah def, see ya.
that was Sunday, i dont want to seem to eager. should i wait for him to start contacting me now? i think its to early to set up the meeting?
do you have any other advice?
snip wrote:
Hi,
If you really feel you are ready for the reconnection stage, then go for it.
Just follow the steps in the last stage of the free plan, and read chapter 6 of the book MOMU.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hello i’m on these websites all th time tring to get advice.
And i tried the no contact rule a bit, and my ex seems to be sending a inbox msg ever so ofen, and then i replie saying im ok ansewing his question wich is always ‘Hey u k’and he never replies only once whn i went on msn he said ‘ got ya email.
And some times i try talking to him but some time hes really ice and seems towont me back.
And others he ignores me when ever he wont to! soannoying.
Oh and did i mention he met a girl, but they had a fall out.
And he seems to come back to me when she does not wont him anymore.
But some time he can really look like he misses me.
does he?
once i made a silly attenshion status saying about me changing and he went on ms saying you ont =need to.
is that a sign?
Charlotte wrote:
Hi,
That could be a good sign…who knows?
Instead of sitting around trying to decipher “signs” from your ex, why don’t you take control of your situation?
Go read, and follow ALL the steps in the free plan on my Blog.
Take Care,
S.W.
hey scott!!
I broke up with ex in jan and for a mth he was deciding if he wanted 2 work things out but then he decided he didnt want anything as he was happy how he is, i found out recently hes been seeing a recently seperated women for 2-3mths and all this time when i thought he was doing stuff with son hes been involving gf being my back, i said i was unhappy about this and hes threatening courts as he says they are serious and she just isnt anyone. she has been split from husband 3mths maybe less and i dont get how quickly both of them have got “serious” so soon after spltting from partners. i dont know why hes adamant to tell me about how serious he is with her when in jan he was still saying he loved me??? am i in wrong to not want gf to be around our 2 year old son??
hi!
i would love some advice, if you have any. it would be greatly appreciated! thank you! 
my boyfriend & i broke up about 4 months ago & on te other hand we work together (which isnt making things easier, but i do like my job). he said he wanted to be friends, even though he doesn’t even say hi to me now. the other day at work on of my friends said he mentioned that the only people he talks 2 at work are me, my friend & his friend. She also mentioned that he said i was a nice/sweet girl. I honestly dont know what this means. For now at work im not really talking to him (except for little work related stuff). I’m not going to lie, at first i was trying to take control but after a while, i looked miserable at work. He told me once that he didnt want me to change. so, i began doing things like i always used to (i used to bake something 4 work every weekend, now im picking it back up..some of the outfits i used to wear that he liked im wearin again)..stuff like that. like i said, i dont talk 2 him much, but anytime i do say anything to him, its always nice (or i sy it in a nice way)…i just hope im doing everything right. Truth is, i miss him and i think about him everyday
Kait wrote:
Hi,
You need to get your life back, and stop obsessing over your ex…and I can help you do that.
Go read the free plan on my Blog, and then follow ALL the steps, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi Scott, I know it has only been a day & a half of no contact but my ex isn’t contacting me at all however he was on facebook last night as ‘away’ The last time I tried this he contacted me drunk after a day and the time before that he was sober but it was quite early on after we met for the last time and he asked “why wasn’t I ringing”. In your experience do you think this is going to work. I need to know if I am giving myself false hope so I can just use no contact to heal myself. I am feeling down and desperate. Thanks.
sarah wrote:
Hi,
1.5 days is way too soon to speculate about anything, and the whole idea behind the free plan is to get your life back, not your ex.
Once you stop focusing on getting your ex back, and on getting your life back, that’s when the magic happens.
This is the part most people get wrong at first, they can not wrap their brain around this concept, and this causes them to struggle.
You don’t have to try and predict the outcome of NC to win, you just follow ALL the steps in the free plan, and you will always win.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi Scott, I broke contact this evening but after an average conversation with my ex I really want to try again and see if by letting him go he will come back or in time I will be over him. I haven’t sent a no contact message though and was wondering whether I could leave the part off about him contacting me? i.e could I just write this. If I tell my ex not to contact me he won’t as simple as that.
Hi,
I agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over.
Sarah wrote:
Hi,
NC only works when you stick to it, and when you follow the plan as it is laid out.
I would worry more about your inability to commit to the plan, then about changing the NC message.
Take Care,
S.W.
P.S. If you break NC again, do not post on my Blog, just continue to send the “exact” NC message until you get it right, OK?
Hi Scott,
I finally contacted my ex after he sent me a sms saying that he hope everything’s going well at my end etc. this was on Tuesday. I asked him if he wanted to meet up this weekend but he said he wasn’t sure of his plans this saturday as he has been hanging out with his friends but he said he will let me know again.
problem now is, its already Friday night over at where i am now and still, not a single text msg/call from him confirming anything about saturday.
i’m kinda peeved that he does not even have the basic courtesy to let me know afterall if we are still meeting. should i still be texting him and ask him if we are still meeting tomorrow? or what should be a better course of action?
thanks a ton!
Paige wrote:
Hi,
I have no idea about what kind of strategy you have been following, or for how long, but you extended the invitation, and now I wouldn’t contact him at all, until he contacts you first.
If you have not been following the free plan on my Blog, I recommend you start ASAP, and if he doesn’t reply in time for your meeting…send him the recommended NC message as outlined in the free plan.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi again S.W.,
I just wanted to thank you. You were right – the NC message should be sent word-to-word. That’s why when I got another opportunity, I sent the NC message word-to-word. Woah, it does work like a kind of magic or something! Because 2 days later, I got a message a casual and loving message from him that he would like that we could talk soon.
Now the advice I want is (and I guess it’s important for everyone else):
- How to react in cases when it’s not actually a break-up. It was just a silence break. I mean, since the relationship isn’t over yet, is it better to talk it over (now that he wishes to talk) and solve things (before it becomes stagnant), or continue with NC?
- Since the free plan (and the NC message) if formulated in such a way that you flip things other way round – you take control but you still want to keep the door open for the future. So I wanted to be firm, and yet polite – Is it ok to send a simple reply saying that I still need time to think about certain “things” and will contact him when I’m ready. That’s all. I thought not replying might be like ignoring him and rude.
Thanks for your advice. Now that I’ve started off well, I want to stick to the free plan and need your advice for that.
Monserah
Monserah wrote:
Hi,
How can you consider not answering him rude?
In your NC message you asked for him to not contact you, right?
He is being rude by going against your wishes, which means he still doesn’t respect you, or your wishes…make sense?
If you do not answer him, you are just showing him he can not make you crumble (like you want to, by replying).
It has always amazed me how the people who have their wishes for NC broken worry about being “rude” to the people who are ignoring their NC message…just a little paranoid maybe?
Let me tell you that paranoia, and doubt will be your downfall.
Stick to NC for at least 30 days, and then you initiate contact when “you” are ready to talk…not your ex.
Stay Strong! :rambo:
S.W.
Hello All,
I had a success through this site so wanted to give some advice. I was at a point where I never thought my ex and I would have another shot, and we have been back together for over a month now (I know that’s not much in the grand scheme, but I’ll take it as a good sign) . . .I was also completely devastated and couldn’t wrap my head around the concept of NC. I broke it often, thinking I could find a way around it, but I always ended up at the same place – square one. You have to work on yourself first and take all of the energy you have been putting toward you ex (and analyzing everything they do or don’t say or do) and put it toward yourself. Period. Obviously you will still think of them, but the only way to make NC work is to – and this is kind of weird – enjoy it! Honestly. Enjoy the time you have to yourself and the time you have to work on yourself. Don’t count days and try not to dwell on the past. Let it go and think about yourself and your future self.
I like to keep coming back to the forum to update, share and keep myself in line so I don’t go back down the same road I did before.
Good Luck everyone. Take care.
:wave: :wave:
~Leeka
Just saw feedback and comments are redirected from the forum here. I was reading some of the recent questions. Wanted to post
Thank you Scott.
As per your advice, I haven’t replied to his message where he still calls me his baby and asks me that we should talk sometime soon (although I have never begged or pleaded, it makes me remember the same kind of message I sent him 2 weeks back when I said we should talk. His response – No response! Just ignored me without a word).
I feel a little sad that the forum has been converted into a read-only. I have been reading the forum stories and would have loved to share mine. But then I agree with you Scott- I have been reading about how some users had been regularly posting in their contact diary and ranting about their ex. Well, I understand their pain but that would have never helped them to heal. You cannot evolve and heal when you sit and talk about how much you’re missing your ex all the time. I’ll post in the blog only when I have questions.
Ok, it’s been only around 4 days of NC and I got his message yesterday which I ignored. I feel strong that I’ve ignored him and I won’t crumble. What I have realised (which I want to remind others) is that avoid breaking the NC – it’s only a trap. Personally, I am not replying him for 2 reasons:
1. I do not want to break the NC because if things do not work out again, I will end up at square one. And I do not wish to send the NC message yet again and start all over.
2. I reply, and then he might act like a jerk and ignore me again. Back to square one again where I’m the one who’s been rejected and it hurts more than anything.
Scott, since me and that guy have not officially broken up and he said he never wanted to, I need an advice about something else. Of course, NC is NC (and I can expect your answer already) but anyway:
I’m traveling to a far country overseas next week for some work, which I’m not sure he’s aware about. I was wondering whether I should inform him or something before going (or talk to him one last time before I go). I’m sure it’ll be a big kick in his ass when he hears that I went to another country and didn’t even deem it important to let him know (he somehow thinks he’s still my boyfriend).
I’m not sure my question is “intelligent” enough but I’m not done evolving yet, so I’m not ready to handle such situations. So I need a third-party/external advice before I do something stupid and ruin things.
Anyone?
Thanks.
Monserah wrote:
Hi,
As long as he “thinks” he is still your boyfriend you will be stuck in limbo.
The purpose of the NC message is to let your ex know this keeping you in limbo bullshit is just not going to fly.
You have taken control of the situation, and they have to wait for you to make the next move, which you will do when you are ready.
Stick to the plan.
Stay Strong! :rambo:
Monserah wrote:
I figured I would give it a try, and ask people to do some thinking on their own before posting.
The whole point of “support” is to help you help yourself, and become independent, not dependent on my support.
You will find if you think things over for one day before taking any action, the right answer will come to you.
Hi Scott,
Okay so I implemented NC for the second time. By day 30 my ex had contacted me 4 times (3 emails and 1 text message) and I’d ignored each message.
I figured it was fine to attempt to reconnect at day 35, so I called and he didn’t answer. I then followed up with a casual text message saying I’d been really busy and wanted to know if he’d like to catch up on the weekend. He didn’t respond. What now? I’m afraid he’ll never respond again now in retaliation for me ignoring him for so long.
Thanks for your help.
Sandy wrote:
Hi,
Keep following the plan, the whole idea of NC was to get your life back, not your ex.
Why should your ex be mad?
You didn’t ignore his contact, he ignored your NC request, right?
NC takes longer than 35 days, in most cases it takes 3-6 months.
I wouldn’t contact your ex for another 2 months, you can’t start chasing that will only screw things up more.
Read the free plan, the part about reconnecting and read chapter 6 in the book the magic of making up.
You asked for time to think things over, your ex should have understood, and left you alone.
No one said NC would be easy, just effective.
Stay Strong! :rambo:
S.W.
@ S. Williams:
Hi Scott,
I think I have got my answers now
I’ve been reading lots of forum stories and your blog as well. The book MOMU seems like some great piece of work. I feel so bad about not being able to afford it yet though because the price is quite high with regards to my country and I’m still a student. But I might be having a job soon, so I’ll save some cash and invest in the book.
Anyway, thanks for providing us with your free plan.
Cheers.
Monserah wrote:
You’re welcome!
I created this plan to help people who couldn’t afford a book, and to fill in the missing elements people who had bought a book asked me about.
I have testimonials from people who have had success just by reading, and following the free plan without ever buying a book.
I think if you take the time to read my whole Blog (comments and all), and the forum, you will honestly learn more than if you bought ten books.
All this is “real life”, real people going through a break up, and using the free plan and NC to get their lives back, and hopefully their ex’s too…if you still want them back after personally evolving.
Don’t get me wrong, buying a book will help you to save time, but if you have more time than money…just keep reading all my free stuff, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
@ S. Williams:
I’m actually taking the time to read your forum stories – especially the LDR ones and I’m indeed learning so much as there are stories very similar to mine. I can’t thank you enough for creating such a forum.
I somehow feel very tempted to purchase the book MOMU nevertheless but I’ll have to wait until I can afford it. When I do, I’ll make sure I purchase it from you.
Btw, I love the emails that you keep sending every now and then as part of my subscription. Learning a lot about men and relationships from that too.
Regards
Hi Scott, question:
What if your ex finds some excuse to contact you just about the same time as you were thinking of reconnecting again? Is it ok to just reply to him or do you still have to make the first call and invite him for coffee?
Also is it strange if after 3 months since the breakup (and NC, half of it proper NC) your ex contacts one of your best friends and asks to hang out with her family and the kids, because he liked them and he has a child too, yet they only knew eachother through you?
arastol wrote:
Hi,
Yeah, that would work, as long as you are truly ready to reconnect.
The next important part is that you follow the plan outlined in the last part of the free plan, and in chapter 6 of MOMU (if you have the book).
Take Care,
S.W.
a follow-up question: let’s say your ex contacts you for some lame reason and you are truly ready to reconnect, is it important that YOU suggest a meeting, or can you just reply to whatever he wrote and let him eventually suggest the meeting? (provided of course that you’re not bothered if he never does)
arastol wrote:
Hi,
It is VERY important that you suggest the meeting, time, and place, that is the best way to maintain control of your reconnection plan.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi Scott –
Re-connected with my former lover today after 2 months of strict NC, message sent from the get-go. I am the one who broke up with him, due to me not wanting a “casual” relationship. This afternoon I called and he picked up the phone and said yes! to meeting up for ice cream. It was when we then tried to sort out a time that things got complicated. We agreed that he would text me. He is attending a yearly conference for his faith this weekend and texted later to say that there was a bit of a conflict, and “maybe you wanna go to some of it anyway?” (I am interested in his faith; this pre-dated our involvement.) I said, Never mind, let’s hold off meeting for a few weeks, then realized that he meant I might join him. This was all now by text. It was getting complicated and I just said via text, Look, I’ll call you tonight. I just rang him at 10pm and he didn’t pick up the phone. I started babbling on the voicemail and sounded more nervous than I actually am. I realized I was babbling, and since we agreed that we would meet up, I said give me a call regarding the details of us meeting up, and got off the phone.
I feel kind of calm about it all, so I don’t think the timing was off, but really don’t know where to take it from here. My gut feeling was that we wanted to see each other, slightly concerned that he and I fucked it up by it all getting too complicated in terms of scheduling and then were caught in text-message hell. It feels very delicate between us and I would rather not mess this up. He seemed both happy to hear from me and ever so slightly pissed off with me in the initial conversation, which is weird, because he’s never been pissed with me about anything. Should I wait? Was I too accommodating in terms of communication? Do I back off now and see what he does? Thanks, Scott.
Leonine wrote:
Hi,
Yes, you extended an invitation, and you should have left it at that.
All the extra calling and message leaving shows a “neediness” that will fuck up the effectiveness of NC.
Leave it for a couple weeks, and try contacting him again, if you are ready.
Next time follow chapter 6 in MOMU, and the last part of the free plan.
Stay Strong! :rambo:
S.W.
Thanks, Scott. Will do. Was trying to follow MOMU by not getting suckered into a group meeting, but I think I got needy when he didn’t get back to my text about holding off for a few weeks regarding meeting up.
Any thoughts as to why someone might be prickly *and* happy to hear from someone? He said “Yes, yes, of course!” to meeting-up suggestion very quickly.
I guess those on the recipient end of NC have their defenses up a fair bit. Actually makes sense now why he didn’t respond when I slowed down a bit regarding his mass-meet-up suggestion. Perhaps he felt rejected again and tender. Ah, who knows! Let’s not worry about him. I am surprised by how calm I feel. I wouldn’t have been 2 months ago. Thank you for this plan, Scott. It has increased my sense of self-strength a hundredfold.
Leonine wrote:
Hi,
It could be he isn’t all the way over the old relationship yet.
I would just give him more time.
Stay Strong! :rambo:
S.W.
Hi Scott.. me and my boyfriend had long distance relationship and now we broke up after 3,5 years in relationship. we had big fight about misunderstanding..we both were anger and dissapointed to each other. about 1 weeks we never talk..suddenly he sent me email and said he want to end up the relationship and asked me to be his friend only. i reply his email and i said..ok i will accept it. but I missing him so much now and i wish he contact me again..but he didn’t. i am still have a strong feeling toward him. i wish we’re together again..but i dont know how to make it happend..and how to make it work? please help me scott..please explain me about the NC message. will look forward for the news from you.thank you..
katherine wrote:
Hi,
This is all covered in the free plan on my Blog.
Go read the free plan, and follow ALL the steps.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi Scott..i already try to send my ex boyfriend NC message to his email but he not response it. please tell me what i should do again now? i am very hopeless. please help me. thank you
hi scot! iv sent the recomended NC to my LdR boyfriend, i’v tried joining the forum to no avail as i get rejected,i tried buying the book from you as there’s no provision for my contry(nigeria)visa card.
please do somethin….
pretty2t wrote:
Hi,
That is because you never answered the email questions correctly.
If you want to be accepted, register, and follow the instructions on the email you receive.
pretty2t wrote:
That is because there have been too many problems with scams in your country, and Clickbank will not do business over there any more.
There is nothing I can do about that, maybe you know someone in a different country that could buy it for you.
Have you tried using the Paypal option?
Take Care,
S.W.
Dear Scott, me and my borfriend of almost 7 months broke up beginning of February 2010. He was madly in love with me and I loved him. We lived three hours away but managed to see each other every weekend. We met each other’s family. Actually I was the one who broke up with him, as I was not sure if he wanted the same amount of committment in the future as I did, since I was 2 years older than him (I was 26 then) and I was his first girlfriend. It was an emtionally difficult time for me. I’m a very strong woman and never act needy but after I broke up with him, I felt that I made a mistake and I asked him to come back many times(which I’m ashamed of that). Then from time to time I sent him an email/text and couple of time he told me that he would always love me and I would have a special place in heart. Finally around beginning of May 2010 that I asked him to let me know if he would eventually want us back (since I needed to move on), he said that he would never have a relationship with me again as I was emotionally imbalanced (as I cried for little things) and that I needed to resolve my issues and become mentally healthy (I talked to him several times about my difficult childhood and my current difficult life with my stepfather). His email truly broke my heart but about couple of weeks after I sent him an email and told him that I had moved on and was happy. I also told him that I would forgive him for the email he sent him but I asked him to not send me any response as I had moved on. Still I miss him everyday and although his last email destructed me emotionally, I still love him. I know that I won’t like to contact him ever again (how about my dignity if I do? I had already lost it after our breakup), but do you think that he would eventually miss me and would ask me back? Once when we were still together, and I asked him if he would ever ask me back if we break up, he said yes. I love him because he was kind and always respected me and never took me for granted (although I felt lonely in our relationship and was scared to tell him since he was very sensitive).
My ex and I broke up about a week ago. He told me he loves me and cares about me but can’t be with me. We dated 3 years. He told me he didn’t want anymore contact with me. Four days later he called me from his work and when I answered he didn’t say anything. After saying hello 3 times I hung up. He even muted the phone so
I couldn’t hear the background. Why would he do that?
Jessica wrote:
Hi,
Who cares?
He told you he wanted NC, so give it to him, and stop wasting your time analyzing a phone call.
Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.
Take Care,
S.W.
P.S. Don’t waste yours/mine time joining our forum if you’re just going post stupid questions like the one you just asked me, OK?
Only join if you’re ready to kick loves ass, and get your life back.
hello, last april my boyfriend told me he doesnt feel the same way anymore and needed to be alone. it was partly my fault because i unconsciously took him for granted a lot of times. i was begging to give our relationship another chance until he hung up. after that i never contacted him. after a month, he messaged me how i was, work, school etc. my response was very light and as if i have moved on already (i even made a joke that he must have a lot of girls now). but after that conversation, he seemed bitter, probably thinking how dare I pretend I was feeling fine. 2 weeks after he didnt contact me, so i got worried and called him (wrong move) to ask him if maybe he can give our relationship a 2nd chance. He said he’ll just think about it and he’ll message me. After that call, i knew i had to to the NC again! so, its almost a month now since that call, i never contacted him. and within that month, he checked my website, messaged my mom and my brother through facebook (although the topic wasnt about me), but still didnt contact me. is he just not ready yet? what signs are he trying to show? how long does it usually take for a person to miss their ex so bad (based on experiences)?
jenny wrote:
Hi,
You are going about this all the wrong way.
You can’t predict what people think, or what their actions mean, but you can control your own life.
You must get your life back before you can move forward, either with your ex or without them.
If you don’t get your back life back, you will be stuck where you are right now for a very long time.
Go read the free plan, and follow ALL the steps, it will help you get your life back.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hello,
Well i was in a very complicated relashionship with this guy for about a year, he never asked me out and he was a big player. I gave him a good amount of chances to change and nothing ever did. Until recently i told him i was done and i didnt want to have anything to do with him anymore, and i left san antonio and came home to stay with my family a little bit. I havent seen him or spoken to him in 2 weeks and he hasnt tried to reach me or anything, i know the best remedy is to move on and forget about him, but its not that easy. He is with another girl that he had been seeing for a long time and only uses her for ass, with me it was something different because he actually wanted something serious and told me everyday but never got the courage to ask me out. I am really heartbroken and i want to know what i should do if i see him again soon, or if he tries to talk to me or calls me? How should i act? I want to knwo if he misses me and thinks about me…
Hope you can help!
Hi,
Well it’s been a year since my ex broke up with me, and i’ve initiated NC on 3 occasions. The last time I went two months without contacting him. He kept emailing the whole time. Then I casually responded to one of his emails and we went for coffee, then a week later to a movie. He gave a big good bye hug, which is the first time he’s physically touched me all year and seemed to genuinely have enjoyed my company. I’m still not sure how to interpret his actions – seeing a movie with an ex is a date right?
Also, I begged him for so long after the break up to take me back & got very angry at him for what he did.. I’m still not convinced that he’ll be able to forget all that. I’ve no idea what to do next.
Thanks for your help.
Hi,
Just take it real slow, and let him come to you.
Time really does heal all wounds…you have to be patient.
Take Care,
S.W.
Thanks. The thing is, even 6 months ago he would never have come to a movie with me… and I wonder whether he will now because he is completely over his feelings for me and is more comfortable hanging out with me because of that.
Hi,
That is exactly what you wanted to happen, he is letting go of the old relationship, and is showing signs of wanting to start over.
This is the way you started when you first meant, right?
If it feels like he just wants to be friends and he dates other women, then start NC over again following ALL the steps in the free plan.
But, if he doesn’t start dating other women and likes dating you, take it slow, and let it happen…don’t force things, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
I’m on the stage to reconnect with my ex, with a phone call to ask if he’s interested to go out for a cup of coffee. The only thing is: He’s not my dad, both me and him are 19-20 years old, and going out for a cup of coffee or lunch seems like something a 26 year old man and woman would do? Do you have any other suggestions. As for example: going for a walk or a quick shopping trip?
And, I know, I may sound a little doubting, but I’m just thinking of other simple things to suggest.
Hi,
Are you fucking kidding me?
Don’t 19-20 year old people go to lunch?
What do you do at school…hide in a corner and stuff your food down your throat before someone sees you?
If not, that is called having lunch together.
Going for a walk would be too intimidating, that smacks of romance.
Since when did 19 year old boys like to shop?
Did you bang your head recently?
Stop acting crazy and stick to the plan, OK?
You can go get an iced coffee, or anything you can eat or drink in 30 minutes or less, and then end the meeting.
Follow the rest of the reconnection guidelines too.
Do not try to rush NC you will regret it.
Keep your head, and focus.
Take Care,
S.W.
Note to self: Was I this stupid when I was 19-20…Yup!
But I wised up, and she will too…in time, and with my help.
Please excuse my summersorrow, but…oh god…
I’m laughing my ass off here!!
Just invite him for a cup off latte at a new cafe, and go off shopping by yourself
Pretend to yourself he’s your good ol’ gramps who wanted to spend time with ya, and ditch him
Do what Scott says, missy!
And don’t worry.
So here’s the thing,
He broke up with me exactly 2 weeks ago, saying he doesnt love me anymore and the money problems make us fight all the time. The Problem was that we lived together and I was in a foreign country not be able to imidiately piss off and he didnt wanna piss off. So we stayed in the same flat for 4 days, then he drove back my stuff to where I used to live 10 hours away because he wanted me to be gone so bad.
So I tried not to have contact with him but it didnt work. I dont know why but we ended up writing again 1 week later and ended up having a fight again. So I called him and finally found out that he’d been lying to me and that he cheated on me and is now with another girl. He likes her because with her he doesnt have the money problems and of course I think that he just likes the easy way (which is always a beginning of a relationship).
So now I dont know what to do. I have the typical “I hate him but I love him” thing in my mind. I really want him back…not now, but when everything with the whole money shit is fixed. I know I have to get back my convidence and stuff first.
My fear is…we live 10 hours away from each other so he wont see or recognize the “new” me. and the NC thing is really hard because of damn facebook but I dont wanna delete him as a freind there.
I’m really sorry for sounding so pathetic but I’m really desperate right now and really dunno how to act and what to do and I only know it for 2 days now that he has another girlfriend.
any ideas to fix this bullshit situation here?
Yellowbird wrote:
Hi,
Don’t worry about his new girlfriend, or about how he will see the “new you”, just follow the plan.
Go read the free plan, and follow ALL the steps.
Yellowbird wrote:
Then you don’t want to succeed with no contact, FB is a fucking joke, and ruins NC completely.
What do you want more…you’re life back, or a fucking facebook friend?
Take Care,
S.W.
i love the motto! ok so me and my ex broke up for the second time this morning. the first time she broke up with me, prior to finding this page, i was devastated. she said that its forever and that nothing i could say or do could change her mind.I begged at first.It was hard for me to deal with and accept. The thing is we never had any huge issues (but obviously we had quite a few minor ones) But then something clicked and i just stop talking to her. she came back quickly sent flowers and presents. then this morning i was feeling sick, had a killer headache, just had an all around bad day. i dont know how it started really but we began arguing and she keeps telling me she doesnt want to hurt me anymore. that she doesnt want to ruin my life. and while im trying to reassure her that it isnt her fault she stops me breaks up with me. says hope oyu have a good life and find what youre looking for im loosing all contact with you please dont ever contact me again. she said she is deleting my number. she deleted me as a friend on facebook. said she wants to permanently get over me and the only way is to pretend like i never existed. im heartbroken. she caught me at sucha vulnerable moment. i caved in. i started pleading telling her i loved her. begging please. she jsut kept saying goodbye dont contact me again we dont work. end of story. im devastated. ive been dealing with alot right now. and this is jsut pushing me over the edge. im completely crushed. the worst thing is i feel like i hardly no why. same thing as before. she keeps saying one day maybe years from now we could be friends. i am so crushed. i am in love with her. i have never felt this way about any of the people ive dated before. anyway sorry to ramble. any advice? it would be greatly appreciated.
Nina wrote:
Hi,
I recommend that your read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.
Don’t make things worst than they are…start following a plan.
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi
I’ve been in No contact with my ex boyfriend for now 5 months now(I sent the recommended nc text as described in one of your blog post)
I feel more at ease now days, and are more harmonic with myself than I were for 5 months ago.
The thing is, whenever I pick up the phone, I’m suddently washed over by doubt, and fright thinking “will he be angry with me? will he dismiss it? How should I sound?”.
I’m so frustrated about it! I thought I had evolved these past few months and suddenly I’m extremely nervous! I mean, it’s just one one call, am I right? Is this normal?
Also ,One of my friends cussed him out one night(I were in another city that night),and told me about it.(This happened two months ago…)Before that, my ex would always try to talk to me on a online chat-room(ignored him), but after that little episode, he stopped.
Which felt frickin’ good! Because it gave me more peace.
Also, I’m on my way to minimizes a medication I don’t need anymore, but I have to take it slow to avoid any fallback.
confusedlostmortal says:
Hi,
This is normal, everyone’s personal evolution takes as much time as they individually need.
Listen to what your inner voice is saying and wait, you will know when the time is right…just be patient…OK?
Make sure you review the last stage of the free plan, and chapter 6 of MOMU (if you have it) this will help prepare you for reconnection, when it’s time.
One day you will pick up that phone, and it will feel right, make sure you know what to do.
Stay Strong!
S.W.
Hi im Ang from New Zealand. I have recently broken up with my bf..well its been 3 weeks now..it happend on the 17th of July. So far, I aint doing that bad!! I have been out of contact with him and only texted once after the break up to thank him for everything he did and that I wanted to thank him personally…but guess what?? as they say.NO REPLY!..he hasnt contacted me at all! even though, I get the feeling that he has prank called me and the hung up on me! (what if its not him!!) We have alota mutual friends on facebook so sometimes its hard not to see what he is upto or vice vera…I deleted him from my facebook the second day of our break up..removed his name from my relationship status FIRST and then he followed by changing it to SINGLE..I decided not to put anything cos I didnt want questions bombarding on the facebook wall…He went to some trip with the mates and they are my mates too but i guess more close to him since they never invited me to the trip..probably concerned about his awkardness more thn mine! I got really hurt and cried about it…i mean one time they invite u everywhere and the nxt they forget just cos u break up with their close pal. One of the girls that went to the trip with him, wrote on her wall about how good the trip was…then i wrote a message saying “thanks for not inviting me” then he messaged on the same wall! more like rubbing on my face that..oh man my legs hurt..i cant wait to go again!..smtimes i wonder, if he broke up wth me, he wud avoid any chance of reconnecting with me…but at that moment, i was kinda confused as he replied on the same wall following my message!…so anyway i deleted my message and forgot about it…
Now the reason of our break up…
He was acting very distant for the past couple of weeks (as if things wre gona end very soon) and as we all do, i would nag him, call him 100 times even when he is sleeping! because i was not used to him not talking to me! he wouldnt reply to my text or anything…so one day, i told him that im crying cos u dont care abt me…and he said..”then stop freaking crying”…….then i said “then start treating me freaking properly or else DUMP me forever”…..the same day he came over and said i want to end this relationship and that i have been thinking about it bla bla…i was broke as hell! cried like some maniac ..but he didnt care as such…then we met again after two days..at that time, i was calm and felt different…i kinda tuk over the situation and said..i want to end everything on a good note…(with his uncomfortable gesture) he said “but we are not over yet” i didnt say a word…he said we were close, we will be close…he wanted to remain close friends and said he will be always there for me..i said how u gona be there for me..(he lives abt 50 min away from me) then he ended the convo…we both jus sat there quitely..he had nothing to say and kept looking down……..then he said i gtg i said ok take care bye(wth a smile) no smile from him!…then i saw his eyes with tears while walking to his car..i was like wtf! why u sad….but yeah i pleaded and cried again over the texts but he said no its done..so i was like ok..
so Im trying to be strong by coming up on to random relationship website and seeking help! they all seem to make sense but theres something different abt this website so i thought i might give it a try….:) anyway..this is my story
angela
Angela said:
Hi,
You’re right, there is something different about this site, we get results.
Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.
my bf of 4 years just broke up with me and kinda caught me off guard. just days b4 we had a great time eating lunch/ice cream etc and he was talking about getting married and all that kind of stuff then all of a sudden he just said we need to “take a break.” his reasoning was that he is moving 2 hours (which has already happened) away to move back in with his parents and go back to school and he said he needs to focus on his life and he doesnt need the stress of a gf. and he claims that there was nothing wrong with the relationship he just doesnt want to have to worry about pleasing me and himself right now. i thought that was a bs reason to breakup after such a long relationship so i think it has something to do with me getting mad at him alot for not texting me as much as i want him to and just typical girl reasons to get mad. at first he said he hoped to get back together one day but now he says we will just have to see what happens. he also hates when i want to talk about the relationship and that ends in fights. he told me to date other guys and figure out what i want and i asked him “wouldnt you be sad if i married someone else?” and he just said not if i was happy. this bothered me alot that he didnt seem to care. he did say that he didnt wanna know if i went on a date or something. i have actually gone on a couple casual dates that i have not told him about.
ive done a little bit of the obsessive harassing by wanting to talk about everything and it def wasnt working so i decided to stop. he tries to contact me about once almost everyday either by text or skype but he acts like he is fine and happy with everything while i am just feeling down. he acts like we are just casual friends. today he has texted me once and called me twice and i have ignored him. is that good? when should i answer him and what should i say? also he said txtd me that he missed me the other day and i ignored him then he said it again on skype before i got offline but i didnt say it back. is that good? what should i say when he says he misses me or something like that?
blue girl says:
Hi,
As much as I would like to answer these same questions over and over again, NOT!
I decided to write something called the free plan, and it is here on my Blog.
It will answer all your questions, also read all my posts about no contact and how to use it to get your ex boyfriend back.
Go read the free plan, and follow ALL the steps, OK?
Properly using the no contact rule will reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings, and after all, that is what you really want to know, isn’t it?
Take Care,
S.W.
Hi,
my boyfreind has not broken up with me but he is not with me anymore too.. he told me that there are many issues going on therefore he has gone back into his shell.. he is a scorpio… before his this statement he wanted space from me but i could not give him.. for 7 to 8 months i kept on texting and calling him for discussion and meeting but to no avail… finally he told me that he has gone back into his shell…
after this it is a month now that i have not talked to him or texted him… during this i have seen change in his attitude.. he no more yells at me.. actually he is my colleague too.. in office he comes to me for seemingly no solid reason.. also he has started wearing white colored shirt daily for last three weeks, i love white color on him and he knows it… he does not call on my mobile or text me but in office he does keep contact from time to time for no solid reasons.. i want to know if he has started missing me?? he also does not wear the wrist watch i gave him last year, he kept wearing it for 7,8 months until we talked finally.. should i keep on my silence? actually i am acting upon both first two steps, i kept my silence and when he started giving me attention i began push and pull game… but him wearing white color daily is pinching me.. i wanna know if it is for me?? please guide…
thnx
Hey! I just started reading your blog. My boyfriend broke up with me b/c he did not want to do the distance. I deleted my facebook account and I do not have his email. When I saw him last he wanted me to keep in contact with him (whether he was legit or not) I am not ready to. Is it appropriate to text him a NC message or should I just not talk to him without texting him the NC message? (I would email but I don’t have it)
He has been really inconsiderate/ disrespectful of my feelings during the break up but I have never told him about the pain he has inflicted. He thinks everything is cool. Does he even deserve a NC message?
Bridget says:
Hi,
I am glad you brought up the question of what your ex deserves, does he even deserve you?
These are the questions that you will find the answers to when you follow the free plan.
If you text the no contact message that will work just fine, just do not respond if he replies.
The no contact message is for you, not your ex, this is about your getting your life back, not your ex.
First, go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps, OK?
Take Care,
S.W.