Does My Ex Boyfriend Want Me Back? – 3 Revealing Signs

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You can read your ex boyfriends mind and see if he does want you back, just look for these 3 revealing signs. If your ex wanted you back it is not difficult to see because body language is very hard to hide. If you know what to look for, you will see right through his words and into his mind. So lets get started so you can find out; “Does my ex boyfriend want me back or not.”

Over Reacting

Does your ex boyfriend tend to over react? Does he say things like; “We will never get back together!” If so, he probably still has strong feelings for you. When someone over emphasizes something, they usually mean the exact opposite of what they are over emphasizing. People think they can hide their true feelings with anger…this is not true. So you ask if my ex yells at me; “Does my ex boyfriend want me back?” The answer is “yes” he still has strong feelings for you that he is desperately trying to hide.

What A Coincidence

Here is another revealing sign. Do you find yourself running into your ex boyfriend a lot? Does he always seem to be showing up at the places he knows you hang out at? Then he pretends not to see you until he catches you looking at him, and then he approaches like you called him over or something.

A-ha! He is following you around and that means he is still very much attached to you. If you keep tripping over your ex boyfriend like he was your shadow, I would say he still has strong feelings for you. So,”Does my ex boyfriend want me back?” I do, I really do think he wants his ex girlfriend back but he is too stubborn to admit it.

Follow A Good Plan To Find Out If Your Ex Boyfriend Wants You Back

Just Thought I Would…

Drop you a line to see how you have been? OK, this is another revealing sign that your ex boyfriend wants you back. Do you know what those little dropped lines really are? They are hooks…each little note is a way to keep you hooked on thinking about him. Oh, how thoughtful that my ex boyfriend worries about me even though we are broken up.

It is not just being thoughtful your ex boy friend is keeping his memory foremost in your mind, so you will not start dating someone else while he is trying to figure out what to do. He does not want you to exchange him for someone else. If you are experiencing these 3 revealing signs (or something close to them) then your ex is still interested, I wanna say it is time to act.

“Does my ex boyfriend want me back?” Well, I would say the best way to find that out for sure is to follow a good plan. Go find yourself a good plan and start working on getting back together with your ex boyfriend.

Winning Back Your Ex

What? You’re wondering; “Does my ex boyfriend want me back?” and you still do not have a plan? It is hard to get to your destination without a good map. If you have any comments or questions, please write them below in the comment box, and I will answer them ASAP! Does your ex boyfriend want you back? What can I do to help you find out? What are you willing to do if he does want you back?

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people for more than 3 years to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free plan to get your ex back fast, and start getting your life back today. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.

Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.

If this article was useful or helpful to you in anyway, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.

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340 Responses to “Does My Ex Boyfriend Want Me Back? – 3 Revealing Signs”

  1. Evon Chen says:

    Dear Scott,

    I took about a month before I pluck up the courage and called my ex boyfriend for some small talks, like finally! (although there are 3 instances where i’d dropped him a text msg on issues totally unrelated to the rs, but abt some work related qns). However, everything turned out into a heated argument towards the end of the conversation again! (the fact that we broke up because he felt that I was always arguing with him, putting my points across to him instead of listening and accepting it. To him, he felt that the rs was not going anywhere in the long run so in the end he chose to give it up.)

    During the conversation, he actually saw me through that i was still not ready to talk as friends, no matter how hard i tried to put up a strong facade, i failed again. So he wants me to take all my time until i feel i am ready to talk as friends again because he will always be ready to talk to me as friends. So at that moment, he felt I had stirred things up all over again.

    I had ruined all the chances of winning back his trust, the plan that I had strategically planned for a month. I ended up spoiling everything again. Because we have a few common friends, and one of them is his colleague I introduced into his office, so most of the time, they had small talks about the rs we had previously. Its impossible to make him feel he may missed my presence when my girl-friend would talk to him or vice versa; things about me in the office or on their journey back home. I had been reading your advices and followed the steps closely but now i’m so hopeless and clueless on what to do again. I dont know what to do to win back his love, I have no idea if he stills want me back or he totally wants it out.

    These emotional ups and downs is affecting me quite badly. As much as I want to believe in a leap of faith for the chance to reconcile, at times it seems that I am really at my wits and those hopes and strengths are slowly retreating away in me.

    Scott, I really need a direction to guide me on what I should do next. I felt so powerless in everything I did to make it right. I hope you can spare me some time to drop me a reply. Your advice will be sincerely appreciated.Thank you so much.

    Regards,
    Evon Chen

    • Naimah White says:

      so me and my boyfriend broke up about a year ago, it was a mixture of bad timing and it went downhill in a way we couldn’t control. We use to be so happy and he knows i was a good girl to him and he never treated me wrong but things just went for a flip when he lost someone close to him. His ex started reappearing (that screwed him over before me) and of course that caused more arguments so i left it alone, broke up with him and about a month later he started going out with her all over again even though everybody knew she did him wrong. I could tell he didn’t want to hurt me so he kept denying her and things going on with them.Since he did all that i cut all ties and i had to move on without any contact with him which i don’t regret because i know it caused him to miss me. I wasn’t going to chase after someone who already proved he moved on. I had got a new number and everything but recently (9 months later) i just caught myself thinking about him all over ALOT like dreaming of him and thinking of him a lot but i still did not try to contact him i was still just accepting us for what we were but like a night after i was telling my friend about my non stop thinking of him (she has no contact with him so he wouldn’t know anything) he was been trying to get my attention so bad on Facebook, liking all my pictures, liking post, and he never even did this when we first broke up. So i reached out to him just to see how he’s been because i could see he clearly has been thinking about me and the convo went good, we didn’t express no feelings or anything just had a small catching up convo and that their was no animosity between us two. He kept trying to keep the conversation going though but i wasn’t trying to get my hopes up in talking to him a lot so i just been trying to not pay him any mind while he’s still liking my post lol i don’t know what this means though but i would love your input!!

      • S. Williams says:

        Hi,

        This guy, your ex, sounds like a “rebounder”…rebounders like to bounce back and fourth between ex’s hoping to use left-over feelings to find an easy way back into your life, until, of course, it’s time to take off again.

        If you want to jump back into a relationship with someone who has already screwed you over by going back to his ex (because someone he knew died, a lame excuse, if there ever was one), then you are destined to learn about rebounders (players), the hard way.

        I suggest you use the no contact rule, this time around, and don’t fall for his facebook bullshit, that’s a chicken-shit way to weasel your way back into someone’s life, and probably what he used to get back with his old GF, before you broke up with him.

        Trust is a valuable commodity, and you can’t just waste it on untrustworthy people, (unless you like getting screwed over) it has to be earned, and he hasn’t earned it.

        You don’t really want him back as much as you want to stop feeling rejected. The sooner you start NC (the right way) the sooner you will stop feeling this way, but it will take time.

        I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

        Make a commitment to yourself to stay in no contact for at least 12 months, and do not focus on getting your ex back – let your ex go.

        Your main focus is to break your dependency on your old relationship (and your ex) for happiness, and reestablish your life as a Happy Healthy single person.

        This is much more important than getting your ex back, and in 12 months you will realize what I’m saying is true.

        Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

        Thank you for writing.

        Take Care,

        S.W.

        IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  2. S. Williams says:

    Evon Chen wrote:

    These emotional ups and downs is affecting me quite badly. As much as I want to believe in a leap of faith for the chance to reconcile, at times it seems that I am really at my wits and those hopes and strengths are slowly retreating away in me.

    Hi Evon,

    It sounds like you need to take a break for trying to win him back.

    I would go back into NC and stay there, don’t do anything until he is open to sitting down and discussing a real relationship with you, not just being friends.

    Sometimes when you walk away from someone they suddenly want you back, people usually want things they can’t have.

    He knows that you’re waiting for him, and that is what is holding him back.

    Plus, I would really focus on the arguing problem, and a way to end it.

    Instead of focusing on getting him back so much, start to focus on building a life without him.

    I believe that if he truly still loves you when he sees you moving on he will react, when he does use chapter 6 and set up a short meeting to get to know each other again, and then take it from there.

    Do you have a plan like The Magic of Making Up?

    If so, use it, if not get one…OK?

    My advice, and the information here on my Blog will work hand in hand with The Magic of Making Up.

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  3. Evon says:

    Thanks Scott, it is heart warming to hear from you.

    I had been trying to get myself distracted, reading up self-help books to improve on myself and taking up yoga classes etc. I know I was not changing for him but the fact that he was the catalyst to make me want to improve and work on building a better person in me.

    He is really a nice guy/friend/boyfriend but he is also more of the contented / mediocre sort while I am more of the ambitious sort, always climbing to reach a higher end. Perhaps that is why our characters clashed? And we were always arguing especially on issues about careers (for that one-week-constant-arguments that ended the rs) which are sensitive issues to men and I know I shouldn’t have insisted on it, making him change for what I assumed it was good for him. I didn’t make an effort to compromise. Because he was always so nice and patient with me, I’d taken him for granted which pushed him even further away. I know I made a terrible mistake, it was my bad and he had reached his ultimatum.

    I had known him since 2007 but only as friends/ acquaintance whenever there was a gathering. We’d started dating only just last end year. It was a totally different kind of rs, we slowly take our time to date, he did not want to rush into anything, just purely getting to know me better (it was me that had shown a little impatience). Well, we got together in a committed rs in Feb but sadly, things got heated up very quickly and within a month, he chose to end it and left just like this. He did mention to my girlfriend (his colleague) that I was not like this when we were seeing each other and perhaps we were really not suitable for each other. Now that I want to repent for my mistakes, he chose to close the door on a chance for us.

    So Scott, do you agree that perhaps he was not really interested in me to begin with? Otherwise, how could he end things just so fast within a month? There are rough patches in the rs, but it’s how we handle it and not escape/ use a breakup as a solution to a problem right? Or was a test between us? I can’t seem to make out a reason behind this whole issue. I just feel there’s more to this rs, it’s so ‘half-way-done’ and definitely we can work something out. Or is it because some things are just not meant to be and that I had it once but ruined it so now I had to suck it up myself? Certain things are just too late for us to realize and repent?

    I really don’t know what I should do next, I wanted to move on but I am willing to give it another shot as well. And if we stick to NC still, I am afraid with the space and distance, he would have come to terms with the demise of the rs and the new path in life during the times he had been detached from me. The ball is in his court, with NC, I don’t know if I should decide to give things up when it had only been a while and there were not many memories from the rs to evoke him to reconsider a chance.

    Thank you for your time, Scott. I know it was long entry. Your advices are greatly appreciated.

    Evon

  4. S. Williams says:

    Evon wrote:

    He did mention to my girlfriend (his colleague) that I was not like this when we were seeing each other and perhaps we were really not suitable for each other

    Hi Evon,

    When people first meet it’s usually the physical attraction at work, after that they really get to know each other, and sometimes they are not happy.

    But sometimes when thing “heat up” very quickly people start to get scared, and find anyway to get out because they feel things are moving too fast, or they are becoming too attached, and that scares them.

    What if you dump them?

    Maybe they should dump you, before they get too attached…understand?

    I am only throwing these examples out there so you can understand there are many reasons why people decide to leave.

    Did you read the section called “Why Lovers Leave“?

    There are more insights listed there as well.

    If you want to work on getting him back, get yourself a book to work with, and use my Blog to form a plan of action.

    Take Care,

    S. Williams

  5. Sahr2 says:

    Hi Scott,

    I just wanted to update you that I have not contacted my ex for a month now, and I feel fine. I definitely have more confidence and feel like life can go on without him. Of course, I will still be happy if he contacts me, but I will just give it another 2 months and see what happens since he said he needed 3 months. Hopefully I will stick to the NC rule. Anyway, thanks for writing these articles because they have been useful and quite motivating!

    thanks,
    sahr2

  6. S. Williams says:

    Sahr2 wrote:

    Hopefully I will stick to the NC rule.

    You can do it, just think about working with NC 3 months to get your ex back for a lifetime…OK?

    Sahr2 wrote:

    Anyway, thanks for writing these articles because they have been useful and quite motivating!

    You’re welcome…that is what I am going for educate and motivate.

    To me knowing what to do is only half the battle, staying motivated long enough to use what you have learned to see results, is the other half.

    So stay motivated :)

  7. Sahr2 says:

    Hi Scott,

    I was thinking that the NC rule probably best applies to those who recently broke up with their ex, however does it also work for people who contacted their ex numerous times, even though the ex preferred they did not? I really wish I stumbled upon your blog last year, but things happen for a reason.

    Anyway, as I continue the NC rule, I thought that my ex by now is probably wondering what happened to her? By this time, I would have already contacted him, but I didn’t. So I guess, now I’m on his mind which may lead him to wonder what happened to her and what is she doing?

    thanks,
    Sahr2

  8. S. Williams says:

    Sahr2 wrote:

    I was thinking that the NC rule probably best applies to those who recently broke up with their ex, however does it also work for people who contacted their ex numerous times, even though the ex preferred they did not? I really wish I stumbled upon your blog last year, but things happen for a reason.

    This plan will work for anyone who gets it, follows it, and most importantly believes in it.

    A big part of anyone’s success getting their ex back is believing that they can.

    The best plan in the world will not work if you don’t have faith in it, as well as faith in yourself.

    This is a plain and simple universal truth.

    This is why emotional control, or maintaining your emotional well-being is so important while using any plan to win back your ex.

  9. Confused111 says:

    Hey Sahr2, just came accross this site and your story intrigues me..I just wanted to know if the NC rule worked?…It looks like 3 months had passed..any progress??

    keep in touch!

  10. Michele says:

    Hey, I’m confused. My ex-boyfriend from 2004-2005 contacted me while I was at the dance club. It’s 2009. I’m wondering why he finally wants to talk to me. He begged me to give him a ride. I said no at first, and then I felt sorry for him so I gave him a ride. He offered to take me to IHOP. I was really hungry so I said OK. Then he starts criticizing me about the relationship. He says I cheated on him, and that’s why we broke up. The reality is he broke things off with me. I’m very attractive and went out the next week and kissed another guy. He says that’s why he barely talked to me over the years because he was still pissed about it.

    I just don’t understand him at all. Why approach your ex from 2005 when it’s 2009. Oh and btw, he was asking me about my relationships and bfs that I’ve had. I didn’t give the details. I thought everything was ok, and I’d just hang out at his place after he invited me. I don’t think of him sexually anymore. He asked to sleep with me at the apt., but I declined. He said it was because I have feelings for him that I declined. I just think he is soooo strange. I mean if you want to have sex, find someone new and exciting, not an ex. I feel bad for him because all he has is a friends with benefits girl, and no gf. I’m not the friends with benefits girl. He thinks it is so great that he has that girl. I just find it strange. I wouldn’t brag about something like that. I feel sad about the situation. I am just wondering why on earth he would talk to me after 4 years. I mean we ran into each other every so often, and chatted slightly, but never like hanging out. And he really laid the criticism on me when he got the chance. Spazz case.

    What’s up with this guy?

  11. S. Williams says:

    Michele wrote:

    What’s up with this guy?

    I guess he just wanted to get that stuff off his chest so he could “move on”…or maybe like you suggested, he’s just a “Spazz case.”

  12. Becca says:

    Okay so my boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago..
    becuase he was stressed with assighments and college work. lame excuse. but he said he just wanted a break from everything.
    but i recently foudn out hes now with someone else who he works with i kno it wont work out but thats not for me to say,
    anyway the other day when talking on msn he said he still cares about me alot of that he will always have feelings for me but we CANT get back together, hes confusing me becuase he sometimes rings me asking if im with his mate dan :S he says we shudnt text or call for a bit only e asked me what i was up to a few hrs later. im so confused with what this guy wants from me! ive ignored him for about a day and a bit now and ive had nothing from him.. i kno the only way to win him back is to ignore him but it seems impossible.. does he seem like he wants me back?

    and is ignorin him gna work?
    istill love him and would do anything to be with him again.

  13. melissa says:

    hi scott,
    i broke up with my ex 5 months ago..through out this period i missed him very much and i still do till today..for the first 2 months of the break up i ignored him totally but deep down i missed him alot.during that period i bumped into him a couple of times but we did not talk to each other we jus texted each other n said “i think i saw u”.and jus left things as it is.on the 3rd n 4th month i texted him alot n eventually we met each other 5 months after we broke up.he gave the excuse that he wanted to come over to pick up his things.we texted me a couple of times to say to meet up but i said i was busy.then one day i texted him n said “pls jus come over n pick up ur things.i dont wanna keep it anymore. he came over looking angry n said “i jus came to pick up my things n im leaving now.’ then i said “y do u aws do this?u jus run away without saying anything.i hugged him n said i missed u so much.” he said “i missed u too” we talked abt wat hes doing currently n it was ok till i started talking abt the rship..he dare not look at me at the face n jus said he doesnt wanna talk abt it..then he jus took off..

    ever since the incident ive been texthing him n calling him but he doesnt answer my calls..but he replies my messages when i text him n ask him how hes doing.sometimes i text him n say “it has been a while since i last met u?how r u?r u fine?if ure sick hope u feel better soon” n he will say ‘im ok.dont worry.i hope ure good too”

    the other day i was having drinks with my friend talking abt him n i started crying n telling my friend how much i miss my ex.my friend suggested that i texted him n tell him i wanted a second chance.my ex replied “its not about the chance,im not that good either.pls dont blame urself” i feel that im crazy.i dont know why i cant forget him n why it hurts to much everytime i think of him..it has been almost 5 1/2 months since we broke up but it still hurts everytime i think of him.i want him back but it does not seem to be working…

  14. S. Williams says:

    melissa wrote:

    i want him back but it does not seem to be working…

    If you want help to get your ex back follow this link:

    http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first

    Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.

  15. S. Williams says:

    Becca wrote:

    istill love him and would do anything to be with him again.

    If you want help to get your ex back follow this link:

    http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first

    Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.

  16. melissabeary says:

    @ S. Williams:
    hi!ive already joined! =)

  17. R.Renata says:

    Hi.S Williams

    I was married for 7 years, i meet this guy at work and i fall in love for him. And he sayed he was in love fom me as well, i left my husband and he left his wife to start a new life.
    But things started to get complicated, because we work at the same company and his ex deceded not let him seem his son, what made him left me after 2 month and go back to her.
    I was really in love for him and i dont know what to do now, I feel that i have lost the love of my live. when we was together it was perfect and now he is gone.
    I am not trying to get him back with him because he is with her.
    But i want him back, if thats truth what he told me, that he love me.
    I got lots of question on my head and i have no answers for it.

    If he loves me why is he back with her?
    Its because of his son and his family or because he likes her?
    Its because of the money?

    But i dont have any of the answers and its just making me mad.
    He dont talk to me now, but sometimes he sees me and his face changes,i can see in his eyes that he feel something for me.Its my imagination?
    But why he left me, i am so confused.

    Please if you can help me it would be great, because i dont know what to think or what to do.

    Thank you..

  18. S. Williams says:

    R.Renata wrote:

    If he loves me why is he back with her?
    Its because of his son and his family or because he likes her?

    From what you told me I would assume that he left because he didn’t want to lose the ability to see his son.

    Why didn’t he go to court to fight for his right to see his son?

    His ex wife can’t deny him visitation just because she is mad at him…he has rights as a parent too.

    • Barbara says:

      Why don’t you find a man that is not married! He probably tells his wife he loves her too! I am sure they have a much longer past then the two of you. Next time your married maybe you won’t cheat on your husband:)

  19. R.Renata says:

    Hi, S. Williams

    Thank you very much for answer.
    He cant go to court because he left everything to her, the house that he still paying for it, but who lives there its her, because of his son, and when we was together he was paying the house, and giving some money to her because of the kid.
    And he will miss his son like crazy into the court decided, and his parents as well.
    He was living with his parents, because he had no where to go.
    But i told him that time would put things right, but he is to impaciente.
    She told him as well that was me or his son.
    I think his parents started to put presure as well, not because they like her but because she stoped then from see they grandson.
    As you see everything its complicated, he sayed once that we r like romeo and juliet but without the death maybe he was right.

    I fell like i am losing the love of my life. And its nothing i can do.
    He dont like see me because i think he feel bad about it.
    The only think i can do its wait and see if he come back, but into that happen i will fell rubbish.

    Do u think i should let go?
    Because i do think that sometimes but i am leting the person i most loved go, My problem its that i think with my heard.

    Thanks…

  20. R.Renata says:

    Once i asked him why he would go to the court and the answer was, i’m a brock men.
    Because he left everything for me.

  21. S. Williams says:

    R.Renata wrote:

    He cant go to court because he left everything to her, the house that he still paying for it, but who lives there its her, because of his son, and when we was together he was paying the house, and giving some money to her because of the kid.
    And he will miss his son like crazy into the court decided, and his parents as well.

    Even if he is low on money he can still get visitation rights.

    He might’ve given child custody to his wife but he still HAS PARENTAL RIGHTS to see his son with an agreed upon visitation schedule set up by the courts or with a mediator.

    R.Renata wrote:

    I fell like i am losing the love of my life. And its nothing i can do.

    Wrong!

    You can do something about it, contact him and ask him about following through with setting up some appointments with an attorney.

    You can always help him with the fees if he needs it.

    He needs to exercise his parental rights, she (his ex wife) has no right to deny him visitation of his son.

    Plus why does she (his ex wife) want a man who doesn’t love her anyways…this all doesn’t make much sense.

    It is a house of cards that will soon crumble.

    My advice would be to contact him with a plan to fight for visitation rights for him and his parents (after all they have rights too)…maybe his parents can help with the legal fees as well.

    You see if you all were to unite (you, your ex, and his parents) together you all could fight this woman and get what you all deserve…but you have to fight back, understand?

    There is no reason to give up until you have exhausted every possible way to solve this problem first, I do believe you can solve this.

  22. R.Renata says:

    Well its truth.
    But now its a bit to late i think, because he is back home with her.
    And he say to me that he had to forget me.

    I was thinking on first find another job so we dont work at the same company.
    Put my life back on truck, because i left everything as well once i left home.
    And then text him and try to convince him in fight for his happiness, if he accept its because he does love me, if he dont then its because was a lie.

    What make me sad on think that way but i have to be realistic.
    I dont know if will work or not, but it will give him time to make sure of what he really wants.
    And will give me time to organise myself.
    outside and inside.
    I left everything for him, and i didnt regret, and my ex tried to do the same with me because i have a son as well, but i know how to fight back and get control of my life.
    He need to do the same for himself, i cant force him to do anything or he can blame me later if she decided to do something.
    I will contact him at the end of next month.
    I will not know what to say, because he dont want to be my friend and i dont know why as well.
    If he trully loves me he will come back.

    Any idea on what to put at the msg when i contact him?

    Thanks to talk with me. i feel unconfortable in talking with my friends about it because now he is married.

    When we finished he say its was over. Now i dont know if he say it because of all the problems or because he didnt love me no more.

    For me its a bit weird when someone loves you on a week and the next say he dont.

    My only hope its he change his mind.

    And if he do i will do everything as possible to help him.

    Thanks..

  23. S. Williams says:

    R.Renata wrote:

    Thanks to talk with me. i feel unconfortable in talking with my friends about it because now he is married.

    Well to tell you the truth from what you wrote to me and I quote:

    R.Renata wrote:

    I was married for 7 years, i meet this guy at work and i fall in love for him. And he sayed he was in love fom me as well, i left my husband and he left his wife to start a new life.

    I assumed when you said you “left” your spouses that you both divorced them before living together…this changes everything.

    Did you both only get separated from your spouses?

    Are you divorced or separated from your husband?

    I am confused now…

    My advice is to leave him alone until he gets divorced, until then you will never know if he was serious or not…right?

  24. CHERYL says:

    @ melissa:
    Hey Melissa! I read your story and I can feel for you because I’m in a simuliar situation. I broke up with my ex back in April and I regret it so much. I have loved this man for 25 yrs. He has alot of issues going on and I got impatient and wanted things now. You see I was extremely close to his family. His dad and I were tight and he loved me alot. It’s a long story but his dad thought I was talking about him through other people that I work with[these people are friends with his dad's employee] they would say things about my ex that supposibly happened and it wasn’t even true. I called and asked his sister and she wanted to know who told me and I told the truth. Well the guy lied and said I said all thius stuff about the family. The guy has worked for them for about 26 yrs. I have known the family for about 35 yrs and my dad worked for my ex’s dad and I was friends with all of my ex’s sisters. I haven’t tried to make things right with his dad because the woman I work with is best friends with my supervisor and I know my job will be in jeopardy. My ex knows about what happened and he said that everything will work itself out just trust him and be patient. He had so much going on also. He has Chrone’s Disease and needs more surgury and was put on a new medication and he is impotent because of that. He’s had a drug problem in the past and has been clean for 3 1/2 yrs. When he texted me and told me that he had a relapse I automatically thought it was the drug relapse. this happened right after I broke up with him. We have loved each other since we were teenagers and we definitely have that chemistry. He always comes back to me everytime. He told me he needed space and I’ve given it to him and it’s been so hard. He texted and said that he met someone else and believe me I’m devestated. My friends and family thinks he only said that to hurt me because I hurt him and plus he has a medical condition that is affecting him sexually. You see when he came back to me he said that weve wasted enough time and he should have always been with me and he’s always been in love with me and will be for the rest of his life. My oldest son would text him[he's not his son]and beg him not to leave. My ex always loved my son just like his own and was always good to him. He asked my son to give him to September when things are better and then he’ll be in touch. But when he texted me and said he met someone else I got very upset and told him I was severing all ties with him and I never planned on seeing him ever again. I told him that from then on the only thing we shared would be our son,he’s 13. I miss him so much and think of him everyday. His sister has reached out and asked my oldest son to work for her. I feel this was planned by her and my ex.She has a landscaper and doesn’t need my son. I begged and pleaded with him right after we broke up and he moved further and fyrther from me. I haven’t texted or called in about 2 months and I know he’s curious. He doesn’t know anything about what I’m doing and I know he’s curious.I know he has alot on his plate and his biggest concern is medical condition and how it’s affecting him sexually. He had planned on a nice romantic dinner for us in his new apartment. He lived about 45 minutes away and moved up here to be closer to me . He had made dinner for me and had the works. Later when things started to get intimate things went downhill for him and he was devestated and embarrassed. He said it must be his new medication. I assured him I was ok with everything but he was worried about making me happy. Not long after I broke up with him not because of that[I've been through his medical problems before] just that he is a workaholic and we didn’t spend alot of time together. I ended our relationship by voicemail. STUPID I know and I regret it believe me but I know he loves me still he knows I do dumb things here and there and I know he’s angry and just lashed out at me to hurt me too. No contact is very difficult believe me I want to call him so much it hurts but I find something else to do,like telling you my story. I know he’ll be back I just have to give him the space he needs to get his life together. When the connection,love,chemistry,and everything it takes to have a fantastic relationship is there they know. He has known me all his life and he knows I love him unconditionally[he tells everyone that]he will be back.You just have to keep telling yourself to have zero contact and it will work[I am getting a little here and there]. He came by my house the other day and parked behind my truck for a few minutes. Hang in there and intiate no contact. Good Luck!

  25. pinky says:

    @ S. Williams:
    Hi Williams,
    I have a serious problem to discuss.
    I was married for 4 years to my husband but we never had any serious love or passion.At that time I met a person from work who was one year younger to me.We were friends initially but then it became a very serious and intimate relationship.I understood what love was really and he loved me truly as well.
    But after about 6 months the relationship became an on and off one with him acting loving one moment and hating me the other moment.
    When I asked him what was happening he finally opened up.He said he could not bear me being with my hubby anymore and that he cannot spend his entire life thinking what Iam doing at night as he loves me more than anything else in his life.I was completely stormed with emotion.
    I promised him there would never be any guy in my life again and that I wont touch my husband ever again.
    I detached myself from my husband and cut off everything.My hubby did not have major issues with it and said if the feelings are not there he was ready for a divorce.
    In the meantime my boyfriend again was on the rollercoaster mode loving me one moment and hating me the next.
    He also used to make me cry all time by cutting my calls and making me feel insecure and by showing his work frustration on me as well.
    But the times his mood changes and he is sweet self he loved me like he was mad about me.This was true for both the on and off bed.On bed he was passionate wanting and ripped me apart everytime with his love.
    We went out on trips on 3 occasions.
    During the last trip we were just only having sex and on the last nite I burst out asking him if he really wanted to marry me or was playing around.He got furious and angry.Exactly 2 weeks later he called it quits with me.I felt hit in my stomach and did the ugly begging,crying,calling,texting thing till I fell down in exhaustion.
    2 days post this I returned to office but with a bright face and confident look to get over him.I went to say hi to him and his eyes looked at me with so much pain that my heart melted.He said he was angry with me for the way I was pressurising him but realised my value only after he lost me.I told him about the divorce and later in the evening he called me to his desk and said “I left you because I wanted you to get back to your normal life.If thats not happening then Iam there for you.”
    It was back to love and love again.in the meantime he had told me abt his problem of being unable to see with his left eye.i didnt know it till then and was shocked.i promised him i wud never leave him.he said he is sensiive and cannot bear it if i leave him.We were happy and he was loving me with all his heart till exactly one month.
    He took me to a restaurant and I told him abt the painful things of the divorce.I talked to him saying “I have not get over the breakup wit you.Now its too much to handle”.He said “I never left you.I will never ever get a girl like you”.He said he loved me more after the breakup thing.The very next day I got a promotion in office and I told him abt it.He got jacked by his manager for some reasons around the same time.
    He became changed after that.Stopped talking to me and concentrated fully on his career.This became too much I started to miss him a lot and one nite when I kept on calling him he said”i hate you you b****.you are spoling my life and I never ever got back with you.we are done”.The next day I went to him and said sorry.He was angry but still spoke to me,lunched with me.In the meantime I met with an accident and was not goin to work for 3 weeks.He did not call me and did not pick my call for one week.Then on the 2nd week when he did pick up he was like “I was worried abt you.but at the moment my mind is too fragile and on my work completely”.After I returned back to work I asked him you dont like me shall I leave you and go.He didnt reply but his face became serious and he was like go if u cant stand me.
    Then he started to tell me not to lunch with him as he started to lunch with his team and it wont like nice if I join there.didnt talk to me.didnt pick my calls.nothing.at last one day I told him I packed my bags and Iam leaving the city.he said ok fine.In the evening I went to him and asked him this”you are busy now and cannot pay attention to me as your career is at stake.but you have not forgotten me.”he said “yes” and i saw a very lonely and sad look in his eyes.this was ok.he even said we will go on a trip soon.then one day in the morning i went to him to say hi.dont know wat mood he was in.he went outside office called me and blasted me saying”i hate you i dont want u in my life and u r trying to be with me like a leech.u r spoiling my life and my career.”this time i felt it was for real.he was angry but 2 days later became normal.but told me we will be jus friends and nothing more.since then he has not spoken anything much to me.i then told him i have taken up some special prayers which a priest told me for restoring vision in his eye.he seemed thrilled and happy with it.
    then one evening i told him i want to have one last talk with him before i leave the city.he looked at me sheepishly and said iam scared to talk to you.i said if u wat me to leave then talk to me for one last time for which he said pls leave me free for 1 month as i have some office commitments which can cost me my career.then i called him 2 days later and said lets talk it out on the phone.he said if u r desparate for a man go with anyone i dont care.but as far as iam concerned everything is over and i have forgotten everything.iam now focussing only on my career and i dont want u to kindle my feelings.i asked him u said u r sensitive and cannot be without me.is that a lie.his voice changed and he said u know me.iam sensitive thats y cannot handle this relationship as it does not allow me to do anything in my career.pls leave me.i cried and cried badly.then i called him inthe evening and said how much passion did u show while we were on bed how can u dump me like a used tissue.he replied saying stupid girl go and sleep now.dont trouble me else i will come and poke ur cheeks and kept the phone with a chuckle.post this i have changed myself and stopped all my begging and become the smiling beautiful girl i was.i accepted the fact that he is over and i thot i must move on as well.
    i have been doing this for last one week.he seemed not to care.but last 2 days he is looking extremely angry and troubled.when he sees me straight to face in office he kept his face in a rigid manner and did not speak or smile.
    he still uses the coffee cup i gave him.wears the shirts and watches i gifted him.when i say hi to him in the morning he says hi and doesnt talk anything more.in spite of all this never at any point in time did he ask me to get back with my husband and be happy.
    he said i cant handle this now and if i come back to you my career focus will go.he is sincerely working as i can see.post the fight with him saying he is over me he happened to see a picture of me with my cousins on my desk and asked me where did u take this one?when did u go?did u go on a trip or was it nearby.he seemed curious to know when it was taken.

    ok my question now is wat is the status of this relationship now
    is he over me as he claims?is he thinking he can come back to me anytime if he does wat he wants in his career.
    fyi he is a very emotional and sensitive aquarian.he seems detached completely and is very arrogant when his mind is busy with something but the moment he looks at me he used to fall flat.he has told me always that he wont get a beautiful,graceful,sensitive,loving woman like me ever who can understand him and be patient with him.even in office ppl say he is very difficult to handle.shd i move on or wait for the love of my life by being patient.if i wait will he come back or will it hurt me more later when i know he has truly moved on.he doesnt talk to me or look in my direction. in fact he tries his best to avoid looking at me and turns away if he has to pass by my desk.is he so angry with me for hurting him.i dont know.i admit i have hurt him by shouting and fighting many times.
    need your help to understand his behaviour.sorry for the long comment but this is my last chance at my life.

  26. S. Williams says:

    pinky wrote:

    need your help to understand his behaviour

    I can not predict what his behavior means, but I can tell you the best way to find out if he still has feelings for you, is to use the step by step plan we follow in our free forum.

    If you want my help to get your ex back follow this link:

    http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first

    Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.

    Don’t forget to sign up for my free News Letter for free videos, tips and advice on How to Get Your Ex Back.

    Just click on the link under the little red heart in the upper right hand corner of my Blog.

  27. Kalee says:

    Hello my name is kalee, i dated this guy zack for about 11 and a half months, well we broke up, and yeah i cried and cried and begged him. and all he did was tell me to leave him alone and that he was never getting back with me, he hurt me really bad. today i was with my guy friend gary, which i dated a while back before i met zack, when i was wish gary, my ex zack started getting kinda friendly with me and then after that he left, well his friends told me he was very mad about me hanging out with my buddy gary/ ex bf. why does he care if i hung out with another guy for?? me and him aint dating now, we haven’t been dating for almost 5 months now, yeah i still do love my ex bf zack, but i know that begging and pleading him to come back to me won’t work, so iv’e lost complete touch with him, i havent tried to contact or go and see him in quite awhile. why is he jealous of gary for????????????????

  28. S. Williams says:

    Kalee wrote:

    i know that begging and pleading him to come back to me won’t work, so iv’e lost complete touch with him, i havent tried to contact or go and see him in quite awhile. why is he jealous of gary for????????????????

    He still has feelings for you, that’s why.

    If you want to get him back you will need to follow the plan we use in our forum.

    If you want my help to get your ex back follow this link:

    http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first

    Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.

    Don’t forget to sign up for my free News Letter for free videos, tips and advice on How to Get Your Ex Back.

    Just click on the link under the little red heart in the upper right hand corner of my Blog.

  29. pinky says:

    @ S. Williams:
    sorry for troubling u again.but my question was to ask if i shd move on or wait for him

  30. S. Williams says:

    pinky wrote:

    @ S. Williams:
    sorry for troubling u again.but my question was to ask if i shd move on or wait for him

    That’s really up to you…if you feel you should move on then do just that, but if you want him back follow my previous advice.

  31. Julia says:

    I run into my ex often, but we live in the same town, so…..? When I run into him, he doesn’t come over to me or talk to me. Do you think he wants me back?

  32. S. Williams says:

    Julia wrote:

    I run into my ex often, but we live in the same town, so…..? When I run into him, he doesn’t come over to me or talk to me. Do you think he wants me back?

    Even though you live in the same town isn’t funny that he runs into you that much?

    He may thinking about approaching you but is afraid of rejection.

    Did he break up or did you?

    Either way if you want explore this further you can join the forum and follow our step by step plan.

    If you want my help to get your ex back follow this link:

    http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first

    Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.

    Don’t forget to sign up for my free News Letter for free videos, tips and advice on How to Get Your Ex Back.

    Just click on the link under the little red heart in the upper right hand corner of my Blog.

  33. Julia says:

    He broke up with me. It is kinda weird though that I keep running into him. But he never talks so I don’t know if I should talk to him? I will check out the link you gave me in the email. Thanks. Julia@ S. Williams:

  34. S. Williams says:

    Julia wrote:

    He broke up with me. It is kinda weird though that I keep running into him. But he never talks so I don’t know if I should talk to him? I will check out the link you gave me in the email. Thanks. Julia@ S. Williams:

    You’re Welcome!

    I look forward to watching your progress in our forum.

  35. Tiffany says:

    My boyfriend and i broke up last saturday. For the last four since then i have been applying the no contact rule. But today i thought i could fix it by talking to him. We talked in my car and I started asking him why we couldnt get back together, and he just keep saying cause he didnt want to be in a relationship anymore. And said that we could be friends. i txted him to tell him something and then we stopped txting me and he txted me again and said if i was ok.I just said i respected his decision and he said we could still be friends. I then txted him back saying ok.What should i do, he is stuck on only being friends :/

  36. Tiffany says:

    *typo
    i mean for the last four days i hadnt talked to him.

    p.s we had been together for a little over a year.

  37. S. Williams says:

    Tiffany wrote:

    What should i do, he is stuck on only being friends :/

    Hi Tiffany,

    you need to get to our forum ASAP and get started on our step by step plan…OK?

    Very important not to waste any more time and initiate no contact while it has only been 4 days.

    If you want my help to get your ex back follow this link:

    http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/read-this-first

    Make sure you read the rules and guidelines before you join, I strictly enforce them.

    Don’t forget to sign up for my free News Letter for free videos, tips and advice on How to Get Your Ex Back.

    Just click on the link under the little red heart in the upper right hand corner of my Blog.

  38. CHERYL says:

    Hey Scott,I’m having a bad time again. I’ve been thinking of contacting my ex and I’m trying not to think that way. My mind has been playing ping pong about whether I should or not . This is much harder than I anticipated and it’s getting harder each day. I’ve been keeping busy but he is constantly on my mind and I’m really needingsome answers from him. I want to talk to him so much to get this guilt off my chest. I broke up with him back in April is it too soon to contact him? I don’t want to make a mistake but I feel horrible. I have been reading The Magic of Making Up whenever I can,I’ve read it a couple of times, but I need your imput on this. Is it too soon to contact him and will it be a mistake? Thank you so much for being there Scott!

  39. laura says:

    This is the 6th week now we have been split and in this time ive had the odd text message asking if im ok? and then when he learnt id been out on a date i had 5 missed calls on phone and a text asking who is this guy? where does he live? and if im seeing him again? Since then i havent heard anything other than late one night he text and said he wishes me luck if im with someone x. Since then I have started NC and am following your advice on the forum. So far I havent heard from him but do you actually think I still stand a chance after 6 weeks? Is he still bothered about me? Should I just give up?.

  40. S. Williams says:

    CHERYL wrote:

    I’ve been keeping busy but he is constantly on my mind and I’m really needingsome answers from him. I want to talk to him so much to get this guilt off my chest. I broke up with him back in April is it too soon to contact him? I don’t want to make a mistake but I feel horrible. I have been reading The Magic of Making Up whenever I can,I’ve read it a couple of times, but I need your imput on this.

    If you read chapter 6 of MOMU you will see that the reconnection is a slow process, and you can not just start apologizing or pumping your ex for answers…this will blow up in your face and drive your ex away again.

    You DO NOT sound like your emotionally read to reconnect with your ex, keep working with the exercises in chapters 1-5 in MOMU.

    Your BEST chances would be to follow the plan in our forum, I don’t know if you properly initiated NC or not but you need to follow our plan, it really works….go read our forum.

  41. S. Williams says:

    laura wrote:

    Since then I have started NC and am following your advice on the forum.

    Did you use the recommended NC message word for word?

    laura wrote:

    So far I havent heard from him but do you actually think I still stand a chance after 6 weeks?

    If he hasn’t contacted you after you initiated NC he is following your request.

    Yes, if he was so interested in what you were doing before you initiated NC he is even more now, but he is probably mad because you took control of your situation with NC.

    Just keep following the plan and doing ALL the exercises in chapters 1-5 in MOMU…OK?

  42. Julia says:

    I sent my ex an apology letter using TW’s Clean Slate Method apologizing for stuff from the relationship and told him I still agree with the breakup but I had to give him back his jacket and didn’t want to just leave it there and since he didn’t return my call. Anyways, I just left it on his doorstep with the jacket in a bag. Do you think I messed up? How can I fix it if I did?

  43. S. Williams says:

    Julia wrote:

    Do you think I messed up?

    No, you gave back what belonged to him…how can that be wrong?

    You’re best bet would be to follow the free plan on my Blog.

  44. Julia says:

    But what about the apology letter? Do you think that’s okay? I started NC about 1 1/2 months ago and tried to call him but he wouldn’t take my call so I thought if I apologize for what went wrong using that Clean Slate Method, it would help.

  45. S. Williams says:

    Julia wrote:

    But what about the apology letter?

    I told you what to do…follow the free plan, OK?

  46. Angela says:

    My ex left after a 10 year relationship. Things had gone downhill, but I wanted to repair it. I still love him. It’s been almost a year since he left, and he quickly started up with someone else. I am still grieving. He tries to keep in contact. To talk about his feelings one minute, for a friendly chat the next, all by email. Why is he still doing this? I am in agony. I have not seen him since he said he was with someone else except at something we both had to be at. It is so hard to look at him now. If he is with someone else, why is he still keeping in contact?

  47. S. Williams says:

    Angela wrote:

    If he is with someone else, why is he still keeping in contact?

    Hi Angela,

    Good question, want to find out the answer?

    If so, then start following the free plan on my Blog…the link is at the top.

    This will help you to move on from the old relationship, and it will make him think about what he really wants.

    10 years doesn’t just disappear…does it?

    Are you ready to evolve?

  48. glynis dacsil says:

    Hi~Scott!

    I broke up with my boyfriend almost 3 years ago. We were together for four years as boyfriends. However, for one year, we kept on seeing each other having intimate moments, ‘no strings attached’. I really felt guilty about it, but he just wanted us to be ‘friends’. It disappointed me that much.

    After two years, I pretended to be ‘preggy’ and I informed his ‘new girlfriend’ about it. He was extremely angry to me, and he did not contact for quite a long time. I said ‘sorry’… and I thought, maybe we weren’t meant for each other really.

    I already accepted the truth that he is not the man for me, so I decided to have a relationship with another man. He was too jealous, and angry, as what my friends were reporting me. But why did he refuse to approach me?

    Now, we have communications, through sending text messages, and I had a joke that I am already 4-month pregnant with my good-looking boyfriend. I didn’t know his reaction. But it was only a ‘joke’, because I am afraid to be rejected again. Then, he told me that he is already married, and he would have a baby soon. I don’t understand!

    He wanted to see me, but I don’t know what his intention is. I am really confused. Please help me. The truth is, I still love him, and I wanna marry him, but I don’t wanna be dumped again.

    I understand he is too young to be serious, but my feelings keep on bouncing back. I can’t explain it anymore. Please reply…

    GLY

  49. jen says:

    @ glynis dacsil:

    i dont mean to be rude but thats a bit sick pretending to be pregnant, you should never joke about things like that. im not surprised he was angry with u if u told his girlfriend u was pregnant, if u think that wud impress him or miss u think again. i think u sud forget him and not listen to friends as u dont no if they are being completly honest, u say hes to young to be serious, i think u r to young and immature for marriage or any form of serious relationship if u think pretending to be pregnant is funny.

  50. S. Williams says:

    glynis dacsil wrote:

    I already accepted the truth that he is not the man for me

    If that is the case…you must move on because this is only a great waste of time for the both of you.

    glynis dacsil wrote:

    I can’t explain it anymore. Please reply…

    Hi GLY,

    I would highly advise moving on from this situation.

    It seems that you and him are both involved with other people, and just like to trade lies.

    That does not make for a very healthy relationship…does it?

    You both have some “growing up” to do.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  51. glynis dacsil says:

    @ jen:

    Thank you very much…

    I am already trying to move on.

    God bless!

  52. glynis dacsil says:

    @ S. Williams:

    Thank you, Scott!

    You’re simply the best!

    GLY

  53. S. Williams says:

    glynis dacsil wrote:

    @ S. Williams:
    Thank you, Scott!
    You’re simply the best!
    GLY

    You’re welcome GLY!

    If you need help moving past this situation feel free to start following the free plan.

    It has helped a lot of people personally evolve, and move on with their lives.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  54. Belinda says:

    I broke up with my boyfriend because I could sense that HE was going to break up with me so I wanted to dump him first. How do I get him back in this case? I spoke to him once & he said he wanted to move on.

  55. S. Williams says:

    Belinda wrote:

    I broke up with my boyfriend because I could sense that HE was going to break up with me so I wanted to dump him first. How do I get him back in this case? I spoke to him once & he said he wanted to move on.

    Hi Belinda,

    The free plan on my Blog works for this situation too.

    Just follow all the steps, and when you get to the part about sending the no contact message use the one for people who dumped their ex, and want them back.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  56. Angel says:

    Hi S william i have a burning question
    Does he want me back when he calls just to check on me? Brags about his new girl for a couple of days and then he doesnt mention her at all,then keeps asking me who i am sleeping with or dating?
    asks me to come over to his place?
    I’ve seen him a couple of times after the break up,and every time he sees me he tries to kiss me,or tries to get in my pants,several times when he has called me he talks a lot about us,he brings up things from the past and keeps remeniscing on old memories.last time he saw me he pulled in the guilt card SAYING THAT HE TRULY LOVES HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND AND THAT HE HAD JUST CHEATED ON HER WITH ME blah blah my question is why didnt he say that the previous 10 times that he did the same thing? Why didnt he feel guilty when he kept trying to sleep with me? and then why does he compare me to her so much? he says we will never get back together,she is so wonderful she is not you,she is so gorgeous and yet when he sees me he oogles at me i dont get it

  57. S. Williams says:

    Angel wrote:

    my question is why didnt he say that the previous 10 times that he did the same thing?

    Hi Angel,

    My question is…would it have mattered if he did?

    This guy is an untrustworthy idiot.

    Angel wrote:

    Why didnt he feel guilty when he kept trying to sleep with me?

    You have to have a conscience to feel guilt.

    He obviously doesn’t have one of those to worry about.

    Angel wrote:

    why does he compare me to her so much?

    I am guessing to make you mad and make you try to prove to him that you have a better body by giving up the goodies.

    He’s a real genius this guy.

    Angel wrote:

    he says we will never get back together,she is so wonderful she is not you,she is so gorgeous and yet when he sees me he oogles at me i dont get it

    He wants to have his cake and eat it too.

    Follow the free plan on my Blog (link is at the top of my Blog), and make him choke on his cake.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  58. Angel says:

    Thank i was thinking of doing that,the thing is why does he want to know what i am doing all the time,and if i am involved with anyone?
    for some reason i have a feeling that she doesnt exist or if she does she is not what he says she is.but i did send him this :
    Maybe you and i werent truly meant to be like i once thought,Maybe giving myself to you wasnt such a good idea but at least you experienced a woman that knows how to devote and dedicate herself to please her man not only catering to him sexually but mentally as well. A woman that had no fear of showing how much she can love and treat her man like he was the only one for her,like he was madejust for her.Maybe breaking up was the best for both of us,as you always took me for granted and never took my feelings seriously Anyways Good luck in your endevours

    he hasnt answer and he hasnt call me,but i realized that he hasnt changed,he cheated on me i got him back i think maybe the reason why he was so hung on me is the fact that he cant control me,plus i catered to him mentally as well as sexually,so i know very well that i am one of those rare kinds of women that every guy dreams of,not to sound cocky but who cooks,cleans,saws,is a romantic hopeless,writes poetry,is always willing to do whatever it takes to make that person happy,etc.so i dont feel too bad,all i know is that he will realize this someday and im going to be gone :P,well i am already gone,but he thinks he has me.i guess what i am saying is that i will be unattainable,i cant yet because we were together for 5 years and they have been suppposedly together for 3 or 4 months

  59. S. Williams says:

    Angel wrote:

    why does he want to know what i am doing all the time,and if i am involved with anyone?

    He wants know if you’re still waiting for him.

  60. Angel says:

    oh? there is something that my sister told me that left me wondering,
    if he was really into his girlfriend he wouldnt call you late at night,he wouldnt try to see you,he wouldnt bring things from the past especially regarding past issues and he wouldnt compare you,plus a four year relationship cant be erase in 3 months

  61. S. Williams says:

    Angel wrote:

    a four year relationship cant be erase in 3 months

    She was dead right about that.

    Stay Strong!

    S.W.

  62. Angel says:

    yep i just think its funny that he TRIES SO HARD to make me feel less
    Either he is really pissed off about the break up or he is just plain stupid,i dont get it he was the one that dumped me.
    Almost five years as well that cant be thrown away although he tell me that i was just sex but i dont believe that anybody would stay with anybody just for the sex especially for such a long time,
    I dont know why but i have a feeling that he is the one dying inside lol hopefully :p plus honestly nobody can forget a woman that is not only loving but also very sensous am i right? or would you forget a woman that cooks for you in a g string and high heels or a woman that makes a trail of roses from the door to the bed while waiting on you with a tiny french maid outfit? and that gives you anything and everything you want? that treats you like you are the only man for her?

  63. Kelly says:

    Okay so I brokeup with my boyfriend about 4 months ago. I only brokeup with him because my parents hated him with a passion, and because the spark we had started to fade. About 3 days after we brokeup he got a girlfriend that looked identical to me! And they’re still going out. But anyways, everytime I see him in the hallway and he sees me, he immediatly looks away and acts as if I’m invisible! But if I turn around, he sometimes just stares right at me. Like he only looks at me when he least expects me catching him. So I was just wondering, what does this mean? I would really appreciate it if you wrote back and gave me advice. Thank you!
    Sincerely,
    Kelly

  64. S. Williams says:

    Kelly wrote:

    everytime I see him in the hallway and he sees me, he immediatly looks away and acts as if I’m invisible! But if I turn around, he sometimes just stares right at me. Like he only looks at me when he least expects me catching him. So I was just wondering, what does this mean?

    Hi Kelly,

    It sounds to me like he stills has feelings for you.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  65. kathy says:

    Dear Scott
    I desperately need advice.
    my ex whom I was with for 3 yrs just dump me because he is relocating to another country for work and not ready for commitment. I agreed to the break up. HE said he won’t date any girls except random sex for the next 2 yrs and he still loves me.

    we are going to remain as friend and see each other from time to time when he is back home visiting his parents. We both use skype. And I can’t disppear on skype as sugguested for the no contact rule, so what should i do? Plus if he asks me out i can’t just not go as we are friends. So he can see me online everyday now so it is against the no contact rule right?

    Thanks!!

  66. S. Williams says:

    kathy wrote:

    And I can’t disppear on skype as sugguested for the no contact rule, so what should i do? Plus if he asks me out i can’t just not go as we are friends. So he can see me online everyday now so it is against the no contact rule right?

    Why can’t you?

    Don’t you have a say over what you do in your own life?

    Here’s the bottom line, if you want him back as more than a friend, you have to use no contact correctly as outlined in the free plan.

    Your story doesn’t make any sense…he dumped you, yet he said he will remain some what faithful except for some random sex…what a guy!

    BTW – having random sex is not being faithful.

    If that’s your idea of true love I feel sorry for you.

    The no contact strategy is simple, but you have to follow it, if you can’t or won’t follow it…I can’t help you.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  67. kathy says:

    I just don’t want to appear odd for doing this when i agreed to this.

    It is no guarantee we get back together but that at least knowing he didn’t break up with me for another girl and he won’t be commit to another girl. So it is not me. Since we broke up , it is ok that he has random sex or date whoever. But at least knowing he dump me not because he doesn’t love me anymore? Does this make sense to you?

    I am really confuse…He is super rational type of guy and he just said he is not ready for any serious relationship at the moment. Please help me scott.

  68. S. Williams says:

    kathy wrote:

    I am really confuse

    Me too!

    You came to my Blog for advice, but you don’t want to use it…so how am I supposed to help you?

    Like I said, use the free plan, if he really “loves you” like he says he does, then he will take action.

    If he doesn’t take any action he is full of shit…simple enough, right?

    Hopefully while he is out having random sex he doesn’t fall in love, or catch a STD.

    But don’t worry about that, worry about using a proven plan, because you might look foolish.

    That is real fucking smart.

    Your ex obviously has you wrapped around his finger…enjoy the view while he has random sex.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  69. amy says:

    I want to try the nc rule if there is a chance that i can get my ex back. the last emails i recieved from him he said that he does not understand where i am coming from. He does count me as a friend but that is all.quote…. i dont think it would ever amount to anything more than that.I dont know what i have said that would give you any other impression. Then he says that beleive it or not iam a really nice guy and i would help with anything i could. so why when i was seeing this guy did he want to take me away on holiday and take me out for meals and make up any excuse to come see me. He confuses the hell out of me.

  70. S. Williams says:

    amy wrote:

    He confuses the hell out of me.

    I told you what you need to do…just do it.

  71. jocelyne says:

    my bf he leave me before 1 month. but befor ended our relation we are spendinding very lovly time he bring me very expensive gift and he told me always remember when i kisse u if feel its 1st time i kisse women i have big feeling to u we making love we laught when i will come back home he told me im very confuse i dont know what i want u give me permission to live my life and he told i dont love u and im not attracted to u then i say im not ur wife do what u want i thing u do everithing but u keep on me he say ok i want ended our relation cz i dont want hurt u. but didnt believe him i say he have someone else new relarion. he call me for couple days i stoped…
    SIR: is tru what i feel? im try to know why he say i love and then no have feeling then no why he he leave me? plz u can give idea

  72. S. Williams says:

    jocelyne wrote:

    im try to know why he say i love and then no have feeling then no why he he leave me? plz u can give idea

    Hi,

    He probably didn’t mean it when he said “I love you”.

    If you want to find out his true feelings use the free plan (link at the top of my Blog) to find out if he was lying when he said he loved you.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  73. eileen says:

    my ex boyfriend has been telling my few friends that he used to go out with me. Does that means he stilled have feelings for me?

  74. S. Williams says:

    eileen wrote:

    my ex boyfriend has been telling my few friends that he used to go out with me. Does that means he stilled have feelings for me?

    It sure seems like it to me.

  75. eileen says:

    my other question that my ex boyfriend been staring at me since about… 2 weeks and even though we are on spring break? i want to know why he has been staring at me including following me whenever i sit at? What kind of revealing sign that is?

  76. S. Williams says:

    eileen wrote:

    i want to know why he has been staring at me including following me whenever i sit at? What kind of revealing sign that is?

    Either you put a spell on him like that chick did in the witch movie “The Craft“, or he thinks your hot.

    Does that answer your question? 8)

  77. eileen says:

    not really i dont believe in witch craft. i am just saying that he stares at me but 2 weeks. i just want 2 know why he is staring at me?

  78. S. Williams says:

    eileen wrote:

    not really i dont believe in witch craft.

    It was a joke! :roll:

    eileen wrote:

    i just want 2 know why he is staring at me?

    Why don’t you go ask him, how would I know? 8)

    I took a couple guesses…I am not a mind reader.

    You don’t have to be Dr. Phil to figure out that guys usually stare at women they are interested in.

    Either that, or he is trying to drive you crazy…if so, it seems to be working…ignore him.

  79. Kelly says:

    So Scott.

    I’ve been reading a lot of questions here and if the guy who broke up with you didn’t make any move after he received the NC letter he is either out of sign out of mind or absence makes hear grow fonder, let’s day 3 or 4 weeks, it means he is not interested in getting back together?, I heard if a man really wants you, nothing will keep him away… for too long in the break up scenario

    If I hurt his pride, would he willing to give us another chance?,

    Please do tell

    Kelly

  80. Kelly says:

    Hi Scott.

    I read some of your articles, it said if a man still wants to be friends, it could be a sign he still has feelings for you cuz why would he wants to be friends if the relationship broken, right?, but some time I know men or women just saying that either to get out without drama, being coward or let the other person down easy.

    Please explain

    Thanks Scott

    Kelly

    I’m trying to get some money to buy the MOMU from you Scott. I miss my guy, he was so into me and got serious to live together and I should have just jump in and see where it goes but instead, I was scared to get hurt based on my previous relationships that stop me to do so:-(( the too good to be true scenario that made me got involved and married my ex husband when he treated me so generous:-(, turned out he was the one who was the most irresponsible), but my recent guy has his life together in finance and career/kids wise and naturally a happy person after 8 years of divorce

    Thanks

  81. S. Williams says:

    Kelly wrote:

    why would he wants to be friends if the relationship broken

    To keep you from moving on, so (if) when he decides he might want you back, you”ll be waiting.

    Great for him, bad for you.

    You need to follow the free plan, and take back control of your life.

    As long as you are desperate to get him back, you won’t.

  82. S. Williams says:

    Kelly wrote:

    let’s day 3 or 4 weeks, it means he is not interested in getting back together?

    Not at all, and if you read the free plan, you will see that the reconnection is up to you, when you are “truly” ready, you make the move to reconnect…not your ex.

    Read the free plan, and our forum, and your questions will be answered…OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  83. eileen says:

    i know you were joking… Yeah that can be true. But what should i say to him? also i’ve been dreaming about him. Because it was at prom. really. And we never had our first kiss at all.

  84. hanna says:

    OKAY SO ME AND MY EX BOYFRIEND HAVE BEEN OFF AND ON ON HOOKING UP STILL AND WE DONT REALLY END UP GOING BACK OUT WHICH I WANT TO BUT I DONT KNOW I NEED SERIOUSLY HELP HE STILL TRIPS IF I GET WITH A GUY HE ALWAYS ASKS ME QUESTION AND SOMETIMES LAUGHS AND SAYS HE DOESNT CARE BUT YET HE STILL ASKS ME QUESTIONS? ALSO HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW AND IT HURTS BUT I CANT REALLY DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.. BUT THE THING THAT REALLY BUGS ME IS THAT HE TELLS ME HE WANTS TO HOOK UP AND I KEEP TELLING HIM YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND BUT HE WONT ADMIT TO ME THAT HE DOES PLEASE HELP ME IM SO CONFUSED PLUS HE ALWAYS HURTS ME LIKE LEAVES ME AND WE END UP STOP TALKING THEN WE END UP TALKING AGAIN AND EVERYTIME HE SAYS SORRY AND HE CANT STAND HURTING ME I HONESTLY AM VERY CONFUSED

  85. S. Williams says:

    hanna wrote:

    PLEASE HELP ME IM SO CONFUSED PLUS HE ALWAYS HURTS ME LIKE LEAVES ME

    Hi,

    I can help you help yourself.

    You need a great plan that will help you get your (single) life back, and once that happens, your ex will follow.

    Find the link to the free plan (right-hand side of my Blog), and read it.

    Then start from the top and follow all the steps.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  86. S. Williams says:

    eileen wrote:

    But what should i say to him?

    Ask him why he keeps staring at you, do you have a booger in your nose?

    Just break the ice…make a joke, be yourself.

  87. eileen says:

    Okay… Should i also asked him about my dream about him? And take it from there?

  88. S. Williams says:

    eileen wrote:

    Okay… Should i also asked him about my dream about him? And take it from there?

    Telling him you dream about him, kind of puts you at a disadvantage…don’t you think?

    Maybe something a little more subtle?

  89. eileen says:

    what you mean by subtle?
    and i try talk to him today? and i get butterfly because we havent talk until from last year. And i do wanna talk to him again.

  90. eileen says:

    what you mean by subtle?

  91. S. Williams says:

    eileen wrote:

    what you mean by subtle?

    Something that doesn’t make it look so obvious that you really like him, you might scare him off that way, start slowly.

  92. eileen says:

    ok… will be hard if i talk to him again. Even though we havent talk in a while?

  93. S. Williams says:

    eileen wrote:

    ok… will be hard if i talk to him again. Even though we havent talk in a while?

    Just handle it like you would if you had never met him.

    How would you approach a new guy you wanted to get to know better?

    You can read the last part of the free plan for some ideas, and chapter 6 of the book The Magic of Making up also has a lot of great ideas in it too.

    Just take your time, don’t sweat it, if you screw up, you can try again.

    Don’t let the fear of making a mistake hold you back, making mistakes is how we learn, besides that, your mistake may work better than a well thought out plan.

    Just go with the flow, not against it.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  94. eileen says:

    thank you so much… its just that when i try to go up to him. I always think like we will never talk again and we probably will not go back out again like a chance.

  95. tracy hoy says:

    hi there just wanted 2 up date u. I have had no contact with ex for over a month now he ended up blocking me. anyways was down his way yesterday cause he lives underneath my mums b/f and i was out back with my wee girl.my ex came out back hello stranger he said long time no see how are you doing. we had a wee chat he was telling me that he was gonna loose his job was thinking about moving to vietnam ect ecttelling me he was on a weeks holidays and we could meet up 4 a coffee that he would unblock me and send me an email.we chatted briefly 4 a while he mentioned i was in need of a holiday and that he offered 2 take me away and also dropped a line about when we were going out with each other he asked me lots of questions about the ususl how i was. college ect ect. do you think hes still intereted in me and what should i do if he does contact me should i go for this coffee. he also talked about doing his house up that he had made alot of changes i would ask you in bit its a bit of a mess i maybe get you down for your dinner sometime, what do you make of it do you think hes interested or do you think it was just talk.appreciated any feed back u give me i really like this guy i dont want to make the same mistakes as before in pushing him away and iwant hime to know that ilike him without coming across as desperate.

  96. S. Williams says:

    tracy hoy wrote:

    what do you make of it do you think hes interested or do you think it was just talk.appreciated any feed back u give me i really like this guy i dont want to make the same mistakes as before in pushing him away and iwant hime to know that ilike him without coming across as desperate.

    Hi,

    It usually takes longer than a month (3-6 months) for this process to work.

    If you meet up too soon, you will most likely end up in the “friends zone”.

    The worst mistake you can make is to rush through NC.

    Stay Strong! :rambo:

    S.W.

  97. amy says:

    so what do i say if he does contact me in the next couple of days i dont be wanting him 2 think im not interested.

  98. S. Williams says:

    amy wrote:

    so what do i say if he does contact me in the next couple of days i dont be wanting him 2 think im not interested.

    Since you broke NC too soon, you really need to start over again.

    Send him the recommended NC message word for word, and stay in NC fr at least 3 months before trying to reconnect.

    If you had asked advice BEFORE breaking NC I could have warned you, but now the damage is done, and you need to start over.

    Actually, if you had read the free plan, it would have explained to you how NC works.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  99. amy says:

    thanks for your advice, since he is the one who has blocked me i have no way of contacting him.another thing he said he was gonna drop me an email 2 go d=for a coffee cause hes on holiday this week and still he hasnt unblocked me or emailed is this guy messing me about or what i mean why suggest and not bothered im just wondering if hes messing about.

  100. amy says:

    forgot to mention why is he asking what am up too and how am doing ect ect all these kind of things if hes not interested in taking me out for coffee or getting back 2 gether why is he so interested i dont understand.can u shed some light on this pleasee

  101. S. Williams says:

    amy wrote:

    if hes not interested in taking me out for coffee or getting back 2 gether why is he so interested i dont understand.can u shed some light on this pleasee

    Hi,

    It sounds like he is just playing around with you, and why not?

    You are letting him.

    I offer the free plan to help people who have the courage, to take back control of their lives.

    If you want to sit around trying to figure out what your ex is up to, that is your choice, but you will never be in control of the situation that way.

    Your choice.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  102. shall says:

    hey dear i want to ask u something can i take relationship advice from u? i m in problem? n depressed

  103. S. Williams says:

    shall wrote:

    hey dear i want to ask u something can i take relationship advice from u? i m in problem? n depressed

    A better question would be…will you use the advice, or just ignore it?

    There is plenty of advice all over my Blog, and the free plan is your best bet to get your life/ex back.

    Go read the free plan, and follow ALL the steps, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  104. Mindy says:

    Hello! My name is Mindy, and my fiancee’ and i have been together for about 10 months now. We were good friends before getting into this relationship with one another, and in he beginning out our relationship it was great! Well i am 18 week pregnant with his baby, and i am so confused on his feelings for me. I have made a lot of mistakes, but we always worked things out. Recently i went to North Carolina with my cousin, to get her car, it was a one day trip, but he cussed me out for it. Well later that night he was like lets just talk things out and work it all out, so i was like “no, you dont even trust me, and you call me this and that.” However, we worked it out. The next weekend he told me he was going to Blacksburg with his cousin.. and i hated the idea because his cousin is always taking him to the party called the “OC”. Well we got in an argument over this and so he got mad, we “broke up”, and he went to a party down there. Next thing i know he was hanging out with a ‘new girl’ near where i was staying (in the same complex as my cousins apt), he told me, i didnt see them.. Well once again, we worked it out. This was a while back.. but just last weekend we got into it again over a bracelet i broke that he had given to me, he said some really foul things to me and me being a emotional wreck, i broke it. Then i left, i was’nt trying to argue and fight. So he ignored me all night friday night, and even broke up with me AGAIN! He texted saturday night to tell me something (not important..) Then is going to just say ‘bye!’ after i responded.. it almost feels like he hates me, or atleast found someone else :(. Well sunday he texted, wanting to work things out, so we did. We were getting along perfectly fine! Then today when i came home to take a shower, he ignored me when i was about to come back, i called and texted and he didnt answer. Well i have this problem with leaving him really sad, voicemails when im upset, i mean crying, and screaming at him, the whole 9 yards, he will NOT contact me back or answer, if he does answer he says “bye” and hangs up. I pretty much “blow him up”. Well then when i ignore him he wants to talk about it and wants me back! Why is this?? Today when i didnt text back he said “Well, F*ck you then!” I still didnt text back, instead im just going to find help before i go kissing anymore ass! Thats all he wants me to do.. but yet when i treat him like that, he says things like he wants to “kill hisself” and makes me feel bad! What do i do? How do i get him back? This stress HAS to end! Im so tired of it!

    Thanks!

  105. Joy says:

    Hi, my husband and I divorced August 2009. I left him, I was pregnant and gave hime everything. I got an abortion and felt dead and angry and so devestated. My ex has been contacting me every other month. I did not take his calls till Janurary, all I did was cry. I then ignored him till April of this year. AFter 6 weeks of him calling me and asking me out, I finally areed to meet him for lunch, that progressed to getting a hotel on the beach, dinner, the movies talking everything through and agreeing to try again. Now he tells me he is scared, has met someone new, can’t promise me anything right now and he needs time. What the heck? The last time I spoke to him was 2 weeks ago in which I told him I felt used and hurt and that I had believed him and still loved him, appreciated his point of view and pain. He texted me one last time to tell my that he loves me no matter what. All I know what to do is the no contact rule. Why did he chase me for months to get me back and find out if I still loved him and if I would consider being his wife again just to dump me. All of these months of healing are gone and I feel just as bad as when I first ran away from him. Any advice? Is there any hope? I am completing my last year of college, taken up running 6 miles a day and keeping myself so busy to fall in bed at night to try to avoid thinking about him. I can’t even think of dating another man how can he be seeing another woman? Please advise me.

    Joy

  106. S. Williams says:

    Mindy wrote:

    What do i do? How do i get him back? This stress HAS to end! Im so tired of it!

    Hi,

    Don’t worry about what your ex says, help yourself, and your unborn baby, and get your life back by using NC.

    Go read the free plan, and follow ALL the steps, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  107. S. Williams says:

    Joy wrote:

    I can’t even think of dating another man how can he be seeing another woman? Please advise me.

    Hi,

    Don’t worry about what your ex is doing, or about dating, or anything else, focus on one step at a time.

    The first step is to take back control of your situation, and your life.

    Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow all the steps, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  108. Merian says:

    me and my ex bf broke up 5 months ago but since then we have been talking and flirting with eachother. we even made out so hard out twice, he told me he likes me alot thats why he is hanging out with me most of the time, but the problem is , he doesnt want me back. he is looking at me as a very close friend but not as someone who he wants to date. i don’t know what should i do?should i stop making out with him or what?

  109. S. Williams says:

    Merian wrote:

    he is looking at me as a very close friend but not as someone who he wants to date. i don’t know what should i do?should i stop making out with him or what?

    Hi,

    If he is kissing you, he is looking for more than friends, he’s looking for “friends with benefits”.

    If you want to get out of the friends zone, and get your life/ex back again, go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps, OK?

    Take care,

    S.W.

  110. Rodney says:

    Scott, if my ex gf told me (before I initiated NC) that her current new bf is better than me in terms that they never argue (even after 6mths dating), and that he does not control her and let her do anything that she wants..does this means that my chances of getting her back is slim?

  111. S. Williams says:

    Rodney wrote:

    Scott, if my ex gf told me (before I initiated NC) that her current new bf is better than me in terms that they never argue (even after 6mths dating), and that he does not control her and let her do anything that she wants..does this means that my chances of getting her back is slim?

    Hi,

    Maybe the reason her new boyfriend doesn’t care what she does, is because he doesn’t care that much for her.

    Follow the free plan, and get your life back.

    This way after he dumps her you will be ready to take advantage of the opportunity, understand? 8)

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  112. tegan says:

    i need your help!
    when i first met my ex boyfriend he spent 9 months trying hes hardest to get me, i fell for him and gave him a chance.He moved in with us and he started getting abusive because he was so afraid of losing me. hes friends are trouble and when they found out he got hes life together they started contacting him and i didnt mind him going to see them, but he started calling me names and disrespecting me so i kicked him out.He went crazy and threatened to kill himself an broke 3 phones and begged for me back, and everytime we did fight and i wouldstop talking to him he would freak out. Hes now doing drugs and has lost absolutly everything but hes friends. he lives in a shed with them and for a few months we had constantly been fighting and i ended up going on a holiday which he hated because he didnt trust me and he broke up with me. this girl told him that i had a threesome with her and her boyfriend which i dont even know and he believed her even though shes caused alot of trouble. and we had a huge fight but then we made up. he came over 2 days later and said it was over because we fight to much. i made him delete my number and said i didnt want to be friends he was cool with that and said he didnt care. two days without speaking to him he texted the number he deleted (he got it off one of hes friends) and asked if i wanted hes old fone and i said to give it to my dad at work but he kept ”forgetting” so i went and got it and he put a pin on it, so i had to ring and get the pin. then i tried to be friends with him but he kept being snobby and not wanting to talk so i said i cant do the friend thing and he was fine again. i rang him occasionly through that time and he ignored me.
    It was just over a week that i had stopped trying to make contact with him and he texted to ask was doing i know that at the same time he was wth hes mate trying to go talk to other girls. i ignored him and he texted the next day and again i ignored so he was like fine dont worry about it then. he tried again two days after that and asked why i wont talk to him anymore and i just had short answers for him. tonight i texted him to ask if he had something of mine he said he didnt think so and i said oh ok thanx anyways and he texted back and asked how ive been so we spoke a little bit which is quiete unlike him and that was it. when i go on msn he signs on and waits for me to talk and when i leave so does he, hes also had nothing to do with hes sister but knows i go over there alot and hes started getting in contact with her.
    hes blocked me on facebook but i go through my sisters account to see what hes doing and lately he went back to hes old ways and didnt update it.
    I was just wondering what i should do? i want to play it slow but i dont know if i should see him in person and im not 100 percent sure he still likes me.
    should i leave it all up to him? i do really want him back though. can you help?

  113. S. Williams says:

    tegan wrote:

    should i leave it all up to him? i do really want him back though. can you help?

    Hi,

    It is your life, why leave it up to him?

    Take control of your situation by reading, and following ALL the steps in the free plan.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  114. jakie says:

    hi,

    need some advice please. well I was with this guy for 2 years. We broke up just over a year ago because his mum didnt like the relationship (coz i have children) she demanded he ended it. he begged and insisted we remained friends. well anyway we got back together weeks after secretly though and he promised he wouldnt end it again because of his mum. well three weeks ago his overbearing mother had caught him with me, well she followed him (28 years old he is)again i was gutted, he again is insistant on being ‘friends’ he phones me on the way to work, lunch time and on the home and in the evening. thing is i just struggle to cut contact have tried but failed. he has told me he loves me, he came round a few days ago and we made love, maybe a bad move on my part. I can tell he loves being with me and that he needs me in his life. we can no issues at all in our relationship apart from the ‘mother’. he keeps telling we cant get back together ever again and that he has accepted the end of our relationship. he`s doing my head in, i love him and i dont want to push him like his mother does, but every time we speak i feel like im telling him off, why would a person want to hear the same stuff four times a day. is it worth chasing this mummy`s boy who still lives at home? please help x

  115. S. Williams says:

    jakie wrote:

    is it worth chasing this mummy`s boy who still lives at home?

    Hi,

    As long as he lives at home, there is a pretty good chance his mommy will be in control.

    But, that doesn’t matter, what you really want is your life back, right?

    Go follow the free plan, and follow ALL the steps.

    Focus on yourself, and evolve past all this bullshit, and the rest will fall into place.

    The stories in our success forum prove it.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

    P.S. Remember how you feel, so when your kids are dating you stay out of it, especially when they are almost 30 years old, that’s fucking ridiculous. 8)

  116. Mimi says:

    Hi Scott,

    I was wondering if you could help me.

    I have a to the extreme case of an workaholic boyfriend

    I have tried to go to your forum but it is blocked (censored) in the country I live in.

    I have a boyfriend that I have been seeing for the past – almost 10 months. The first few months were great – no one has ever treated me like that or given me that much attention.

    Then his work slowly started to take over his life. He has his own business and it has really picked up in the past 6 months. He got one HUGE client. Aside from his own business he has a government advisory position and he works for the Royal family here. All of those things have kicked in, in the last few months. So – if he is telling the truth (and I prefer to give him the benefit of the doubt) he is sleeping sometimes only 4 hours a night and working 20 – everyday.

    When he is with the Royal family he can’t take calls or make them. Sometimes they whisk him away somewhere with him and he will be without his phone for one or two days.

    What this means for our relationship is that now I hardly ever see him. We live in towns about 1 1/2 – 2 hours drive apart. I used to come down on weekends to see him but he is too busy for that now. He also used to drive up to see me – but since he often finishes with the royals at 2 am or later and then has to wake up the next morning at 8 am or so for meetings – that’s not really possible anymore either. The phone calls have also died off. He is almost impossible to get a hold of and is taking longer and longer to return my calls. I have started to panic and wonder if he is also using his job as a way to exit from the relationship without telling me directly.

    I have asked him this more than once. I told him that I know he is very busy and I am willing to wait it out and be patient if there is still something between us because I have strong feelings for him but if he wants to break up he should just tell me because being direct would make it a lot less painful and easier for me to move on. I told him that if he is afraid to tell me, that he would actually be doing the kinder thing by being direct about it.

    But he insists that this is not that case – yet at the same time he becomes more and more distant. I really don’t know what to do or think or how to handle the situation.

    I haven’t been at my best emotionally in the past couple of months. I was pregnant and suffered an earlyish miscarriage. I have had to go to the hospital a few times due to bleeding / pain etc. My hormones have been out of whack and he is the only person who knew what I was going through (plus he is the other person responsible for the pregnancy), so of course I reached out to him. But because of what is going on with him he couldn’t really be there for me, which hurt me. Anyway, feel like i have had to nag him to respond to me. When he does, he is kind and all and still claims he doesn’t want to end the relationship, but from my side I don’t see him doing anything to make it work. It’s like he expects me to nag him repeatedly before he will call me. This might be due to the fact that he gets so many missed calls and messages in the course of the day while he is back to back meetings that he doesn’t have time to go through them all and only notices th most recent ones. But while he is the one forcing me into the situation, I feel like I am the one coming across as needy and annoying and it bothers me. The last time I spoke to him I asked him when things are going to cool down a bit (it had been 4 weeks at that point since the last time I saw him) He said hopefully in a few weeks – or at least towards the end of July. He then told me that “all of the women in my life are upset with me – my mother, my sister and you”. I don’t know if this means he cares that he included me with them or if he sees me as a nagging obligation…

    Now I haven’t spoken to him in 5 days. I called him in between then, when I was at the hospital, but he didn’t answer, nor did he call me back.

    I don’t know what to do… should I just stop calling him completely? I haven’t called him in 3 days.

    I was starting to implement the strictly no contact rule but I am not certain if it is the right thing to do since we haven’t officially broken up. Furthermore, I asked a friend of mine (male)business owner, also a workaholic, about my situation. He said that when he gets under too much stress he feels like he doesn’t want to or can’t really talk to anyone and that it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about the woman in his life. His advice was NOT to cut off all contact but not to call him – to only send a short nice supportive text message once a day or one in two days. He said he may continue like this for weeks but don’t think it means he wants to break up.

    I however have my doubts. I think that my friend is maybe slightly more sensitive than my boyfriend. I am not sure the sweet text messages will serve to do anything other than make me look pathetic like I am willing to be ignored ALL the time. I know he is very busy, but I think he is taking me for granted a bit because I make it easy for him to do so – plus I have made myself annoying (even if understandably so) during the past two months with my emotional issues related to what I was going through.

    So on the one hand I wonder if my friend is right – since he is a guy with similar circumstances and from the same culture or if I should just cut off all contact until he realizes he hasn’t spoken to me in a while and gets in touch himself. But then I am afriad i will be ending our relationship by doing that, and since he didn’t actually break up with me, I don’t even know if is appropriate. All I know is if it ends without me ever being able to say goodbye or have closure it is going to hurt me for a really really long time.

    Now, my sister’s friend’s brother is coming into town (I am living outside my country). He has just relocated for work to this part of the world and my sister asked me to contact him and offer to meet up with him – just to show him the ropes a bit and make him feel a bit at home. He will be going to the town where my boyfriend lives and wants me to come meet him. I don’t know if I should break my “no contact” policy I started to tell my boyfriend that I will be in his town next weekend to meet this guy or not.

    I am afraid that if i DO tell him that he will think I am trying to make him jealous – plus I will have to initiate contact to tell him (unless he contacts me before then) and he might ignore me as he often does. And I am afraid if I don’t tell him, he will find out and think I am sneaking around behind his back – especially since it is another guy I am going to meet. There are a couple other things I really do need to talk to him about as well.

    He promised me he would never break up with me without telling me directly, but it really feels like that is what he is doing.

    So my questions are:
    1)Does it seem like my boyfriend wants to end the relationship but doesn’t know how – and if so is there any way to reverse that.
    2)Should I do the no contact tactic – and if so, for how long? (some say 1month others say 2 and since we didn’t officially break up I don’t know what I should do) Or Should I follow my friend’s advice?
    3) should I break the no contact to tell him about this guy I will be meeting and invite him to join us? (if he doesn’t answer should I send a text of just go ahead with my plans)

    I would appreciate any help with my very difficult situation.

    Thanks

  117. S. Williams says:

    Mimi wrote:

    I have tried to go to your forum but it is blocked (censored) in the country I live in.

    Hi,

    You don’t need the forum to succeed with the free plan.

    It doesn’t matter who your ex works for, talks to, or anything else, just follow ALL the steps in the free plan, and you will get your life back.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  118. Mimi says:

    where is the free plan? I get a blocked message when I click on your links…

    is the NC mail part of the plan because how does that apply if we didn’t break up? For sure he would take that to mean I was breaking up with him and I don’t want to break up – I want keep us from breaking up and improve our relationship. I can do no contact but i’d rather not say something that breaks us up unless you think it is necessary

  119. S. Williams says:

    Mimi wrote:

    where is the free plan? I get a blocked message when I click on your links…

    Here is the link to the free plan:

    http://blog.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/

    If your country blocks it I can’t help you.

    Mimi wrote:

    s the NC mail part of the plan because how does that apply if we didn’t break up? For sure he would take that to mean I was breaking up with him

    Please don’t kid yourself, OK?

    You are heading in different directions, if he values his work more than your relationship, then you have two choices.

    Either accept it, and live that way (unhappy), or, break it off, and let him focus on his work, and see what it is like without you in the picture.

    You can go find a man who is not a “workaholic” and will give you the attention you crave.

    If you don’t make a stand, you will always take a back seat to his business, do you want that?

    If you are scared to take action you are only holding yourself prisoner, and you are doing it to yourself.

    I just handed you a free plan to help you take back control of your life.

    But you have to have the courage to use it.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  120. Mimi says:

    Thanks, I found it.

    I have bought this book already – but didn’t know how to apply the steps because we never broke up and in the book it didn’t say to break up if you haven’t broken up.

    The letter was all about saying “i agree with the break up and think we shouldn’t communicate for a while” which didn’t make sense to me if the last thing he said was he did not want to break up with me. So is there some way to modify the wording for a couple who hasn’t broken up?

    What about this man who is visiting? Should I let him know about it because I am worried if he finds out he will think it is something it is not if I don’t tell him. And I don’t want him to see me as a cheater when I am not one. Sorry for writing too much here, but as I said before I can’t enter the forum. I am trying to find some software to unblock but in the meantime this is all I have. I have already on my own stopped calling or sending messages to him though it has only been a few days now. In fact, to stop myself I left my cell phone at work over the weekend and I try to keep it switched off as much as possible – this is to help calm me. I know i might miss a call from him, but I don’t think i should sweat that since he doesn’t take most of my calls.

    Just to be fair to him – at the moment he isn’t entirely in control of his situation and is extremely (and I mean extremely) stressed out. He doesn’t sound like he is enjoying himself – he sounds upset a lot lately. I don’t want to do anything to stress him more. I have never seen anyone pulled in so many directions. I forgot to mention that he is divorced and has two children who live in another town and he hasn’t been able to see them either in a few weeks.

    I also am not clear about what I should do if I find he has tried to contact me over the weekend? Should i return the call? By the way, on the odd occasion that he has tried to contact me and he could get a hold of me, he kind of got worked up. So it annoys me that he doesn’t understand why I get upset when he is impossible to reach.

  121. Mimi says:

    Also, another thing, he asked me to be patient and wait until July is up, so should I only do this after July if he shows no sign of changing back?

  122. S. Williams says:

    Mimi wrote:

    Also, another thing, he asked me to be patient and wait until July is up, so should I only do this after July if he shows no sign of changing back?

    Look…

    I am not your personal counselor, OK?

    I offered you a proven free plan (see the success stories) to help you get your life back, and you ask me 1000 questions.

    There is a version of the NC message for people who are on a break, and not “officially” broken up.

    This will work perfectly for your situation.

    I gave you the advice, it is up to you whether you use it or not.

    If you change the NC message don’t waste your time (or mine) trying to follow “your version” of the free plan, it won’t work.

    The free plan takes courage, and you are lacking the “guts” needed to kick loves ass.

    Now, either use the information, or go somewhere else, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  123. Mimi says:

    Wow, why this kind of response? Other people here have also posted repeated questions and they have more straight forward situations and they can see everything and you have been much more pleasant to them.

    I can’t see the NC letter versions, (blocked) that’s why I asked if there was one for people who weren’t broken up yet. I apologise for being presumptuous in thinking you might answer and did not mean to offend – like everyone else here I am in quite a bit of pain at the moment, and I live somewhere that the resources to get help are very limited, which is why I bought the book and read it from front to back. I wanted to follow the plan correctly and under the right conditions for my situation.

  124. S. Williams says:

    Mimi wrote:

    I can’t see the NC letter versions, (blocked)

    Maybe you should think about protesting to regain your personal rights.

    Why don’t you get your ex or whatever he is to talk to the “Royal Family” and get the internet unblocked over there.

    If my country took away my rights, I would fight back, and if they wouldn’t listen to me I would move to another country.

    I am not your problem, your country is, and I don’t have the time to piece feed you the free plan.

    Mimi wrote:

    Other people here have also posted repeated questions and they have more straight forward situations and they can see everything and you have been much more pleasant to them.

    Oh, so if other people abuse my generosity, that makes it OK for you to do it too?

    If you read your posts you will see you are not worried about anything but getting your ex back, that is the BIG problem.

    Once you stop being scared to lose your boyfriend you will find the answers you’re looking for.

    Maybe this guy isn’t the one for you, but you are too afraid to find out.

    You would rather whine about how hard it is in your country to get information, like I said, you have bigger problems than your impending break up.

    I am not sure I believe all this bullshit about being blocked, because if that were true my whole site would be blocked.

    At any rate this just seems like another big waste of my time.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  125. Mimi says:

    I was not asking for any further help – I was apologising for not initially recognising that you don’t like answering / resent being asked questions.

    You are extremely judgmental! You (wrongly) assume I am lying about internet blockage? Why would I!? They can block portions of a site – I see it done all the time – on Facebook for example – but again that’s here not there so you wouldn’t know. Ask anyone who lives in the middle east if you don’t believe me. In your case it would be quite easy since this page here and the forum have different addresses. this one begins with the word blog….. and that one with forum….
    The censorship authority must have found something objectionable on the parts it chose to block – sometimes it is hard to understand what they find objectionable. Anyway just telling you this in case in the future someone else living in this part of the world posts here and you decide to accuse them of lying.

    Once again I APOLOGISE.

  126. himemia says:

    @ Mimi:

    The recomented NC message in your case is:

    “Hi,

    I think that we need to take a break, I really believe it is the best thing for both of us right now. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.”

    Sorry Scott, but I believe she’s telling the truth. Some countries block certain websites because they can’t identify the content. :-?

  127. himemia says:

    Also I just got my ex back… didn’t contact her or anything. Sent the NC message, and three months after this I phoned her and asked out for coffee. She accepted, and after that we took things slowly. Been one month after this, aaaand we’re noe planning on becoming an item. Too bad we can only establish partenship, because apparently, gay people can’t marry each other.

    Thank GOD for T-dub! :thumbup:

  128. S. Williams says:

    himemia wrote:

    Sorry Scott, but I believe she’s telling the truth. Some countries block certain websites because they can’t identify the content.

    Why would they only block certain pages?

    I would think they would block the whole domain, in that case she wouldn’t be able to even see my BLOG.

    The fucking NC posts are part of my Blog.

    It doesn’t make much sense that she can see certain pages.

    I deal with a lot of loonies, I have to weed them out as quickly as I can.

    I have too many people lie and waste my time, just to get some attention.

    Plus, like I also mentioned, if you live in a country that decides what you can, and can not see, you have bigger problems than getting your ex back, how about your rights?

    Feel free to spoon feed her the plan, I don’t have the time.

    I spent a lot of time putting it up there, and I can’t waste my time spoon feeding people who live in a liberty stealing country.

  129. S. Williams says:

    himemia wrote:

    Too bad we can only establish partenship, because apparently, gay people can’t marry each other.

    Marriage is only a “piece of paper”, some religious/social bullshit.

    What does it matter, married people get divorces all the time, I guess that piece of paper doesn’t make your love any better, does it? 8)

    himemia wrote:

    Also I just got my ex back… didn’t contact her or anything. Sent the NC message, and three months after this I phoned her and asked out for coffee. She accepted, and after that we took things slowly. Been one month after this, aaaand we’re noe planning on becoming an item.

    Great Job! :hurray:

    Good Luck!

    S.W.

  130. DioDioWryy says:

    Here’s a question:

    What if, your ex pulls the no contact thing on you, while you’re in the middle of NC yourself?

    In that case, what should you do?

    My Ex just did this with, and right now it feels like he’s the one holding the rope. :-?

  131. DioDioWryy says:

    Whooops! wrong page! My question was supposed to be on the “how to cast a love spell on your cell phone”

    Sorry! :lol:

  132. savi says:

    i want my ex back . i love him a lot and there is no strong reasons of breakup .. he don even reply to ma msgs .. plzzzz help

  133. S. Williams says:

    savi wrote:

    i want my ex back . i love him a lot and there is no strong reasons of breakup .. he don even reply to ma msgs .. plzzzz help

    Hi,

    Read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  134. S. Williams says:

    DioDioWryy wrote:

    What if, your ex pulls the no contact thing on you, while you’re in the middle of NC yourself?

    In that case, what should you do?

    My Ex just did this with, and right now it feels like he’s the one holding the rope.

    Hi,

    If you were using NC correctly you wouldn’t feel that way.

    There is nothing your ex can do to stop your personal evolution if you follow the free plan correctly.

    Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  135. Mimi says:

    @himemia thank you very much – I really appreciate it, and I am happy to know that the plan worked for you.

    @scott when I click on the link you put for “how to write a good NC message” it takes me to this address http://forum.howtogetyourexbackfast.com/topic/a-great-example-to-use-to-write-your-own-nc-message.

    as I mentioned before – the addresses beginning with the word forum are blocked here, the ones beginning with the word blog are not – hence my ability to see some stuff and not others.

    They block many sites here having to do with relationships -while others remain unblocked. I don’t work for the censorship authority, so I don’t know or understand their criteria.

    If you have an email address I can send you a screen shot of the message I get when I click on it. Just so you stop accusing me of lying and don’t do that to anyone else making a similar claim. I can’t imagine why anyone would choose to lie about that. What would I gain from it?

    I can’t change the government where I live – nor can I change where I live at the moment. I don’t know why my living abroad – no matter what the circumstances – would mean I shouldn’t want to improve / save my relationship?

  136. S. Williams says:

    Mimi wrote:

    I don’t know why my living abroad – no matter what the circumstances – would mean I shouldn’t want to improve / save my relationship?

    Hi,

    OMG! 8-O

    If you were half this determined to read (and follow) the free plan, as you are to argue with me (and waste my time) you wouldn’t have even had to post in the first place.

    You would already be following the free plan.

    But, what’s the point?

    You are clearly not “cut out” to succeed with the free plan anyways.

    Here is why the free plan won’t work for you, you are lazy, and would rather whine, complain, and argue, then to “correctly” use a free plan to help yourself.

    Mimi wrote:

    I mentioned before – the addresses beginning with the word forum are blocked here,

    First, you never made that clear, you did not explain what link was blocked.

    Go re-read your earlier posts, OK?

    In your first post you mentioned the forum was blocked.

    But when you complained you couldn’t read my links, you never made it clear the link you were trying to view the NC messages on, was to the forum.

    That would have made it much more clearer, but still it would not have stopped you from getting the information you needed.

    Second, the information you needed is also included in the “other” links on the free plan, and yes, they are linked to my blog so you can see them.

    That link to the forum was an old one, I have written a much better article since then, and the link to it was right there in the free plan…go read the free plan.

    Instead of completely reading the free plan (like you are asked to) and try “all” the links in it, you come on here whining about not being able to see the NC messages, you were lying, you didn’t try all the links did you? 8)

    Look…I have been doing this a long time, and have dealt with people from all over the planet (young/old, men/women, gay/straight), and I know when people are full of shit, and lazy.

    Unfortunately (for me) the lazy cry babies, out number the people strong enough to help themselves.

    The name of our forum is how to kick loves ass, not come here let me hug you.

    I teach people how to “help themselves” and learn how to kick loves ass, and get their lives back, not their ex.

    So, why is my Blog named How to Get Your Ex Back Fast?

    Because getting your life back first is the FASTEST way to get your ex back.

    Mimi wrote:

    Just so you stop accusing me of lying and don’t do that to anyone else making a similar claim. I can’t imagine why anyone would choose to lie about that. What would I gain from it?

    OK then, let me ask you…

    How much experience do you have running a “free” relationship self-help Blog and forum?

    I am betting ZERO, so how would you know what I have read, seen, and heard, huh?

    You have no idea how frustrating (and time consuming) doing this is, why?

    Because people take advantage of other people’s generosity…they are selfish, like you are. 8)

    They think that because they are in pain, they are the only ones with a problem, not the case.

    My ex left me boo-fucking-hoo, you won’t get any where in life until you’re ready to stand up and fight for it.

    And that means helping yourself, not relying on others sympathy, understand?

    I wrote, and offer for free a plan to help people do that, but do they use it?

    No, they waste my time posting comments defending themselves, and at the same time identifying themselves as the kind of person who hasn’t got the motivation to properly use the free plan anyways.

    That is why I didn’t go and find the NC message for you, if you really wanted to help yourself you would have found it yourself, it is on my Blog.

    Like I said, people like to take advantage of my generosity, and waste my time.

    I used to “cater” to people like yourself, and I learned the hard way it is a waste of time…why?

    When I go and do their work for them, they refuse to use it properly anyways, so what’s the point? :banghead:

    I have seen people succeed, and fail, the ones that succeed don’t waste their time second guessing, and complaining, they follow the plan, and get their lives back.

    This is exactly why I dismissed you as a someone who will not benefit from the free plan, why?

    You have to have courage and determination to succeed with it.

    All you’re determined to do is prove me wrong, and in the process, you only proved my initial assessment of your character was correct. 8)

    I am real glad your country has blocked you from joining our forum, the last thing I need is another member like you, I have way too many as it is right now, but that is going to change, real fast.

    My help is free, but I only work with people that show me something, you have shown me nothing.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  137. Mimi says:

    @steve Wow! What’s it like to be “right” all the time? Does that work well for you in personal relationships?
    Don’t bother to answer that… I won’t believe any claim you make contrary to my assumptions… see I am learning from you already.

    All I can say is for someone who “doesn’t have time” to respond you have plenty of time to write rather long attacks on my character based on nothing but your rather extreme assumptions. How is this “easier” than answering kindly and simply sharing the link to where the NC statements are?

    My only point in explaining the blocking problem to you was so that you aren’t so quick to assume someone else is lying in the future. Being confused does not equal lying. I no longer want your help. I don’t need you to follow a plan that you didn’t come up with in the first place.

  138. Mimi says:

    and I DID follow your instructions. I clicked on the links you said -Igot some of them blocked. I went to the plan then plan led me to a blocked page for a NC letter. How was i supposed to know it was somewhere else? Why couldn’t you have just said that nicely. You only told me it was in the blog (intially you didn’t say read my whole blog you said join the forum and get the plan) after you had been so rude I was no longer interested in seeking your help or combing your blog. I was not being lazy, I was simply confused by your instructions. The fact that you can’t tell the difference between the two is alarming since you are giving relationship advice. My advice to you would be don’t always assume the worst about people.

  139. S. Williams says:

    Mimi wrote:

    @steve Wow! What’s it like to be “right” all the time?

    Steve?? 8-O

    Lol :)

    Who the fuck is Steve?

    My name is Scott.

    But how would you know that?

    You never read, or pay attention, you just like to bitch.

    No wonder your boyfriend chooses work over spending time with you, take a hint, OK?

    Now are you going to accuse me of being right all the the time?

    Maybe you should consider the fact that you are wrong most of the time. 8)

    Now is it my fault, that you are too lazy, (or busy bitching) to read, and pay attention?

    Don’t blame me for holding a mirror up to your face.

    I hope you learned something about yourself.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

    P.S. Don’t flatter yourself and think I wrote my previous long response just for you, it is to (hopefully) ward off other “lazy” people like yourself.

  140. lisa says:

    hi, i have been dating this guy for awhile and then we had a big problem where he denied that we werent dating, so i left. for over a month then we didnt talk then later he started contacting my one in 2 weeks to say hi. later he totally disappeared again and whenever i try to move on with someone new, he appears and ask if we could go eat. that way, i found it so difficult to date someone new. then a ouple of weeks later, i heard he got a new girl, i was so hurt even though i wasnt dating him, so one night, i got the courage and texted him congratulating him on his new found love. he called me immediately and denied the whole fact, stating he wasnt dating anybody. we talked for awhile abt ourselves. i asked him why he sqaid we were just friends and he accepted that he had same mutual feelings for me but he didnt knw how to send the messgae across.
    the problem no is that, the next day, he called me and sent me a text. and i called him back and replied the text but he hasnt returned my callor text,…am confused again, i really dnt knw what is going on in his mind.
    pleasssssssssssssssssssssssse help me

    • S. Williams says:

      Lisa wrote:

      am confused again, i really dnt knw what is going on in his mind.

      Hi,

      Your biggest problem is you’re trying to read your ex’s mind.

      Stop doing that and focus on your own personal evolution, and things will start to fall into place for you.

      Not immediately, but over time, so be patient, OK?

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  141. kayla says:

    Hello

    Myy ex finished with me about 2 weeks ago. he came up with a lot of reasons like we are different, which we are not, and also that I want children and family again I never asked him for these things and I don’t want them now. The botom line is that he said he doesn’t know what he wants in life, he wants to be himself etc and he doesn’t want commitment and wants his space. I am not the sort of woman to hug a mans space and am also very independent, like I was away in sfrica for 6 month teaching and I just got back 3 weeks ago and a week later he finished it. before i left he was madly in love me etc and all of the suddon he said he wasn’t in love with me anymore a month before I arrived but then he would still send me messahes with kisses and persisted to pick me upp when I arrived to UK and also persisted to take a day off the day after Ii arrived to treat me to a nice day etc… any way after we broke up we still hung out. He took me out for my birthday for a meal and also we did sleep with each other up to last thurday which probably we shouldn’t have. Today I went to pick up my surf board from him and he made me a cup of tea and he before I left he huged me tenderly and kissed me very tenderly too? Does that mean that he is very confused but still has feelings for me? Does he not want to be with me cause he thinks its the easy thing to do while he is confused? He tells me that he will never changes hisi mind aboutu the break up and I kinda lied today and said that I also don’t want it back but we can still hang out I guess… He is alwaysvery indifferent on the phone and rarely responds to my texts but when I see him he likes to kiss me and hugs me nicely and sits close to me etc… I am highly confused. I should add that he is very unhaooy and confused with his life at the mo, like he hates hisi job, and his band is not doing well and he is genarrly unhappy with his life. Do I give up and move on or do I give him time to sort his head and go along with the friend thing and occational kiss and see how it goes? or do I completelyy back off and hope he will come back? By the way I live in a small town and we have shared mates. I wsa friends with him for 2.5 years before we started going out 2 years ago. Forgot to mention that he persued me for the whole 2 years on and off and he eventually got me and then 6 month later he finished it for 2 month and then he came back. So he is a very confused person. But this time I am worried that he won’t come back. he is a very good person and not a horrible man and I love him very much. Please advice. many thanks

  142. P says:

    Hi Scott,

    My situtaion is alot different and quite complicated. I have been dating a guy for about 5 years and he was very committed and wanted us to get married. However, my parents never agreed as he was of a different ethnicity and was the complete oppositive of what my parents would want for me. ( aka i come from a traditional indian home)

    My parents also gave me an ultimatum which was to go to him and forget them for life or forget him and move on.
    So because of the ultimatum i have been hiding him and had kept the relationship a secret.

    Recently my parents found out i was still seeing him and started contacting him and his family and saying really nasty stuff at them.

    In addition, because i did not want to create any more additional pain to his life, i told him we should date other people so i can know for sure if i want to be with him the rest of my life.

    As time has passed ( aka a month) i want to commit to him and make that decision.But unfortunately when i spoke to him recently, he really just wanted to break apart. I feel like i have completely lost him. In addition i am 30 years old and i guess he is just fed up that at this stage of life i still have issues with making decisions. Plus my situation goes pass us as my families are also being involved and insulted.

    Honestly, i dont know what i can do anymore. I think he has gone past us and no longer wants a realtionship.

    Please note he was calm but firm when i spoke to him, and was very sure that he needed us to go our separate.

    So scott my question is what can i do for him to give this a millionth try.

    • S. Williams says:

      P says:

      So scott my question is what can i do for him to give this a millionth try.

      Hi,

      My questions is why ask me?

      It’s your family that tells you what to do.

      If I was you (and you really wanted this man) I would have told my family to go fuck themselves, and went to be with him.

      Indian tradition sounds like slavery to me…set yourself free.

      I can’t help you, when you have to do what your family says to do, right?

      What good is getting your ex boyfriend back if your family will only disapprove?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  143. manish says:

    Hi Scott,
    i had a long distance relationship with my ex-girfriend she was very nice through out our relationship but i was always rude and mean i took her for grantet.she was in my school but we were just friends but when i cameto australia we met on facebook and started liking each other after that i met her when i went back to india we have some good times(i met her several times) but than this time when i was coming to australia i was again rude to her and said this relationship wont work and she doesnt trust me anymore what should i do to get her back..

  144. manish says:

    i had a long distance relationship with my ex-girfriend she was very nice through out our relationship but i was always rude and mean i took her for granted.she was in my school but we were just friends but when i came to australia we met on facebook and started liking each other after that i met her when i went back to india we had some good times(i met her several times) but than this time when i was coming to australia i was again rude to her and she said this relationship wont work and she doesnt trust me anymore what should i do to get her back..i was bit confused and stressed with my work thats why i was rude but now i realised she is my first priority..now i am going back to india next week i called her up and said to meet me once she said it will be better if we dont meet cause she may end up having the same feelings for me which she had…what should i do…..
    Respond

    • S. Williams says:

      manish says:

      now i am going back to india next week i called her up and said to meet me once she said it will be better if we dont meet cause she may end up having the same feelings for me which she had…what should i do…..

      Hi,

      Go read, and follow ALL the steps in the free plan on my Blog.

      Correctly following this process will reveal your ex girlfriends true feelings for, but more importantly it will give you your life back, and your happiness.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  145. anushka says:

    hi, my ex boyfriend broke up with me almost 3 weeks now. i am so confused cause we never expected to fall in love but we did. i came out and told him how i felt he said that he knew because he felt the same way. when i am with him i feel this is where i’m suppose to be.he feels the same. but he broke up with me because he said he was proteting me and he doesnt want me risking my life being with him. im so confused cause he told me to move on and here he is callin every day he even showed up a night where i was liming and started to kiss me.i dont know if i show move on or not. sometimes he acts likes the break up doesnt affect him but he says i am the most important person in his life. my heart is breaking each day but i dont know if his is breaking as well. does he wants me back or should i move on!??

    • S. Williams says:

      anushka says:

      my heart is breaking each day but i dont know if his is breaking as well. does he wants me back or should i move on!??

      Hi,

      If you want to reveal your ex boyfriends “true feelings” for you, go read and follow ALL the steps in the free plan on my Blog.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  146. Lilly says:

    Hi scott
    ive been using the No contact for almost 2 weeks and i must say i feel great. I do unfortunately miss him and when i sent him the message about no contact he didnt respond back which at first i was antsy about but now I dont feel that constant confusion about us getting back together or us just staying friends.
    (After we broke up we stayed friends for about a month until i finally decided to use No contact)

    Anyways as much as I would enjoy him back in my life and as much as i miss him, i am just as fine without him in it.
    Thanks for helping me realize that Scott.

  147. Bellalili says:

    Okay right now im so confused my bf broke up whit me 3 weeks ago in the first week he said he loves me and all and i kept sending my friends or hes friends to ask him that if hes going to take bavk whit me for a week or 2 i did this i kept sending ppl asking him and i regret right now so much! The 3rd week he really started tlking to me weirdly and i asked him on msn it seems like u dont love me and u seem haply whitout me he answear it was true but im confusef because 3-4 days ago before this he said he loves me and im so confused and today i asked him i whant to talk to u he said yes okay but when i gave him a hug the hug that i was getting back waass discouraging not like before i felt like he didnt care..:( and i dont no what to do right now im so confused and plz dont tell me to move on irlly love him a lot we were madly in loveee!! U csnt believe and im trying to think even if he moved on how did he moved on soo fastt! In 2 weeks and we wnt out for 8 months how can he move on so fast…:/ plz help:(!!

    • S. Williams says:

      Bellalili says:

      plz dont tell me to move on irlly love him a lot we were madly in loveee!!

      Hi,

      Maybe you only “thought” he was madly in love with you.

      If you want to reveal his “true feelings” for you, go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps, OK?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  148. ana says:

    I need help, I took the advice of no contact and its been almost 3 months. I have not had a call or message since I left my ex fiance…we were together for about a year…we moved in together than we made plans to marry sometime this year. I had a miscarriage with our first pregnancy and after that I just felt like I need space, he has two children and I was ready to take my responsibilities as his wife. I left him but told him I wasn’t breaking up with him which was true but I knew he was going to take it bad, I did go by a few days at a time until I told him I was going out with a friend that night (she told me I looked like bad and needed distracting) and he got really angry, we had a huge fight a few days later and he even changed his number and told me never to go back for my things I left behind…he is very stuborn and he also told me he was less stress and better without me. He told me he didn’t want me anymore and after that I only email him asking if I could send someone to pick up a few thing I left behind. He never responded my emails and I never emailed again..Been in NC for almost 3 months since….A few days ago I had someone try to log in into my facebook and no one would even try unless they thought they knew my password which he did at the time cause I changed it after we broke up…I have a feeling it was him but I can’t prove it. I also had a private number call that I answered but who ever it was hang up after pausing for a few seconds.I never get private calls cause the number is new, changed it on our 1st break-up when I left him. Anyway I’m not sure if I should block my wall and post in facebook cause I honeslty left it open for everyone to see so if he did he would notice I’m moving on. I’m in the upset phase after a break up, I go out have fun, try to date but I just don’t feel like I’m doing anything right. I still hope he calls or looks for me yet I’m not sure what I will do or should do, or even if he will ever look for me again?? I do love him, I don’t really want to close the doors to this yet.

    • S. Williams says:

      Ana says:

      I need help, I took the advice of no contact and its been almost 3 months.

      Hi,

      What the fuck does the phrase; “I took the advice of no contact” mean exactly?

      Are you following the free plan on my Blog?

      Please be more specific when you ask me for advice, OK?

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  149. brokehurt says:

    what about in my case my ex lives in another country then how will i come to know the signs that she wants me back? as we have no means of contact neither cell phone not e-mail (changed after break-up)

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It does not matter if you can see the signs, this plan is about getting your life back, not your ex.

      The sooner you do that, the sooner you will be ready to reconnect with anyone, even your ex if you still want to.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  150. sore says:

    your plan is basically about NC and taking time to heal the injuries.do you think giving time to your ex can also remove the bitterness they have for you due to the nasty things you said during break-up and do you think they will start memorizing the good time they spent with their partner

    • S. Williams says:

      Sore says:

      your plan is basically about NC and taking time to heal the injuries.

      Hi,

      The free plan is about getting your life back first and foremost, everything else just falls into place after that.

      You have to let go of your past actions and the break up in-order to personally evolve past the old failed relationship, and get your life back.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  151. charlie says:

    hi scott,

    i was just looking for answers and came across yours rules,
    my ex broke up with me 2 and half months ago( says he sees me as a good friend),so we stayed friends on facebook(but didnt talk much)
    anyways i started going out more,and enjoying myself again after the first 3 weeks of the break up and he contacted me,said ive got issues,which i ignored,then he kept texting me(has been doing for over a month now)ignored him for the first week or so,but started to talk,well the thing is he came down last night,and was all over me,we did have a kiss went he went,but is that because thats what we are used to or not?
    does he want me again or not?
    its confused me soo much
    would be greatful if u help
    thanks

    charlie

    • S. Williams says:

      Charlie says:

      well the thing is he came down last night,and was all over me,we did have a kiss went he went,but is that because thats what we are used to or not?
      does he want me again or not?
      its confused me soo much
      would be greatful if u help

      Hi,

      You are asking me questions that can only be answered by following the free plan.

      So if you really want help getting answers to those questions, go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  152. Katarzyna says:

    Hi,

    Me and my ex finance been for over five years. We’ve struggling because he says he didn’t have a job to proivde. We’ve arguing so much that he moved to his dad house. I would come down and see him everyday and feed him when his is hungry. Until one day he wanted to spend Easter with his sister. She lives two hours away. And i spent Eastern with my dads family. We didn’t talk much during the weekend, but then he decided that he wanted to spend the weekend there. And i went back to my hometown because i had school. i waited for him to come back but he ended up staying for a whole month without telling me. I would call but he sometimes didnt want to pick up. Then one day, he told me, his sister told him that he was unhappy and he needed to leave me, because he is in a million. i didn’t know what to do but cry for him. I begged that he will be different. so he ended the relationship. Whhen he came back to his hometown, he had red marks on his neck, he said he went on a date. I was so hurt! i yelled and freaked out and tried talking to him for days. two weeks later, my brother sheldon passed away and we seen each other. We didnt talk but we did look or stare at each other. That night, i spended the night out with his sister, whom im closed too. he kepted calling her to see where we are and he ended up coming with us. We drove arpund, but he told his sister to go inside, so she did. I lend over to kiss him and he said what are you doing, i said kissing you then we both drove off together so we can talk. he said he couldn’t keep his eyes off me when we were at the funeral. and he didnt do anythng with the girl he met. And she was the first one to start kissing him. i didn’t say anything but listen. He said he wanted a family and wanted kids so we had intercourse and he came in me, and from there we were together. The next day, i went to his house but he said he doesn’t remember which i clearly knew he did.but i did make some choclate strawberries to give his sister but he ate all of it. We talked but didn’t talk about our issue. We kepted having sex. That weekend i had to take his sister back to her home which is seven hours away and he decided to come along. we spent about two weeks there. Within his those week, it was calm but he was on his sister phone because his phone ran out of minutes. i was curison so i would go through his stuff. Our anniverany came up and we didn’t do anything. We came back to our hometown and the drama started again because he heard i was dating a guy. Which is untrue. so he lefted me with no respond, he went back to his sister house. which i didn’t know until i left back to his siter house which we were suppose to go together. Before i lefted, i spent fives looking for him, i didn’t know where he was, i called his entire family but no one knew where he was. Until my brother lyle tolded me had a GF where is sister lived. i cried for two months. I didn’t contact him until i went bck to my hometown. He said he didn’t want anything to do with me. He said there nothing you can do or say for me to change my mind. I begged back. From there, i havent talked to him for nearly two months. I dont knw what to do? i love him so much? I done going towards him. but i do want it to workout.

    • S. Williams says:

      Katarzyna says:

      He said he didn’t want anything to do with me. He said there nothing you can do or say for me to change my mind. I begged back. From there, i havent talked to him for nearly two months. I dont knw what to do?

      Hi,

      It doesn’t matter what you or your ex boyfriend did or said, that is all in the past, you must evolve past that.

      If you really want the best chance to reconcile with your ex boyfriend you must get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  153. kiki says:

    my bf broke up with me a couple of weeks ago, i couldnt believe it and didn’t expected it, he was acted like he never knew me, he wouldnt even hold me or even give me a kiss, in the first couple of days i went NC he texted me that he wants to bring my belongings, en i texted him back to keep it cause i could not accept the fact he was accting so cold. so i broke the NC, after a while he called me, and said he regrets the sitiuation, now i was the one who kept it short and beeing cold, i heard his voice he was kinda emotional about it, i told him i was busy and that i would call him, but i never called him cause he hurt my feelings, i love this man so much! so after that, about a week he called me again but i wasn’t sitting next to my cell phone and i had 1 missed call, it was him, he did not leave any message or text. so i dont know why he called me, and i did not call him back, now its been 10 days ago, my friends bumped into him and he asked where i was en how i’m doing, they told him im doing just fine, en that im out wiht my girlfriends,this is also about 10 days ago, but i did not hear from him since then, what must i do, wait untill he calls en explain himself why he called? please do let me know what to do, i love this man so much,

    grtz Kiki

  154. S. Williams says:

    Kiki says:

    please do let me know what to do, i love this man so much

    Hi,

    First you need to get your life back again, evolve past this break up before even thinking about getting your ex boyfriend back.

    Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps, OK?

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  155. Shelby says:

    My ex and I have been broken up for about two months. We were head over heels in love and one day he just ended it. Then started dating someone else right away. Then a week later he got wig his ex that tried like four times to get with him when we were together. He claims to love her too but told me he still wasn’t over me. He compares me to her all the time and freaked out bc me and his best friend are friends. The first month I texted him like crazy and I regret that then I told him to stay out of my life not talk to me. Two weeks later I texted him and then two days later he texted me and was freaking out about me and his best friend being close. I asked him if we could be civil and be nice to eachother and he said okay and came and talked to me the next day. Then the next time I saw him he didn’t speak to me just continued to stare. All he does is stare. He’s accusing me of stalking him and I don’t speak to him or acknowledge him he keeps staring. He even came and sat by me one time. And just stared. He tells me how awesome his new gf is but stares at me when shes not there. He came to church today with her and kept looking at me. He keeps making me out to be a person he knows I’m not and his best friend thinks he still loves me. HELP ME!

    • S. Williams says:

      Shelby says:

      He tells me how awesome his new gf is but stares at me when shes not there. He came to church today with her and kept looking at me. He keeps making me out to be a person he knows I’m not and his best friend thinks he still loves me. HELP ME!

      Hi,

      Don’t worry about what your ex boyfriend says or does, you can’t control that, right?

      But you can control your situation, and get past this break up…how?

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  156. Shelby says:

    But I want him back! He’s the love of my life!!

    • S. Williams says:

      Some people just don’t fucking get it…Lol

      And you wonder how they fucked up their love lives so badly?

      They don’t pay attention, and post when they should be reading and learning. (throws hands up)

  157. Si says:

    I split up with mhy boyfriend 3 months ago he lied to me about going to a strip club and I found out from a friend I read his phone to be one hundred percent and he still lied! then he kicked me out saying I should not have read his phone disappeared for 2 weeks then when he came back 2 weeks later started seeing a blonde girl who is 19 he is 47. so then he goes off again to another country which he is still there and sends me a phone and a card saying how much he misses me and loves me. in between this time I started seeing a guy nothing sexual just companionship but when my ex got in touch I immediately stopped spending time with this guybut now my ex has found out about him and he has turned his phone off saying he cant be with me if I have started seeing somebody else. I was so unhappy when I saw him with this girl I never wanted to start seeing anyone but I never believe my ex would want me back after he kicked me out and went with this other girl so thats why I moved on ?

    • S. Williams says:

      Si says:

      he lied to me about going to a strip club and I found out from a friend I read his phone to be one hundred percent and he still lied! then he kicked me out saying I should not have read his phone disappeared for 2 weeks then when he came back 2 weeks later started seeing a blonde girl who is 19 he is 47.

      Hi,

      Why do people think I give a fuck what their ex did/does?

      This isn’t Oprah or the friggen Dr. Phil show.

      If you read the free plan you would know that this is about you getting your life back, not your ex.

      Therefore, it doesn’t matter what your ex says or does, understand?

      It doesn’t matter.

      You need to use the no contact rule the right way and take back control of your life.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      P.S. While you are getting your life back ask yourself this; “why do you want back an obvious liar?” I would have left your ass too, if you went through my stuff. You either trust me, or you don’t.

  158. CC says:

    So my ex and broke up cus hes tryin to get custody of his son and doesnt want to drag me through the bull an the drama and he has to be single to do that.. and he still text me an ask me about my truck and i asked him earlier what his feelings are toward me he said idk.. i dont dnt text him he texts me and i miss him so muc.. is too soon to have a heart heart an figure things out

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It sounds like he is using his son’s custody battle as a bullshit excuse.

      If you want to reveal his true feelings for you, go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  159. Romi says:

    Hi there

    yesterday i sende the nc message

    He came online and asked me directly how are you?
    I said im doing great and you?
    he told me , its my birthday today ( a little mad cause i ignored his bday) and that he is feeling oke
    well then he asked me “talk to me…”
    i did not say much just nice picture ( sarcastic and he knew cause it was a really stupid picture) on my profile i had written going out with the girls to…. name of the club

    well then he told me who was with him, some friends we both know
    and then i told him i got to go. ( to the club)

    And he asked me why i asked him to come online…
    i did not respond ignore his question and go offline.
    after a few hours in the middle of the night he textmessaged me “WHERE ARE YOU?! AND THEN AGAIN where are you?
    i did not respond i did not go to the club anymore.. so i was asleep
    and then again he asked me i thought you were going to .. name of the club.

    So he went to that club he thought i was going.
    WTF does this means????? And from right now i have to completely ignore him right and not answer his question why i was not there?

    and my last question, is this a good sign if he goes to the club to celerate his bday, when he knew / thought i was going there? and ask me where i am????

    i ignored al his questions!

    thanks you

    • S. Williams says:

      Romi says:

      yesterday i sende the nc message

      He came online and asked me directly how are you?
      I said im doing great and you?

      Hi,

      You broke no contact by talking to him online right after sending the NC message.

      You now need to re-send it, and then follow ALL the steps in the free plan.

      Block him online if you really want to succeed.

      If you are just fucking around, please do it on someone else’s site…OK?

      Romi says:

      sorry i think you all are laughing your asses of, my english sucks ^^

      Your English doesn’t suck half as much as your ability to read, and follow advice.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  160. Romi says:

    sorry i think you all are laughing your asses of, my english sucks ^^

  161. Romi says:

    well thank you^^

  162. joan says:

    I stopped contacting my ex but I didn’t send him the NC message.
    It’s been about 7 months since he blew a gasket and ended the relationship without any reason to justify.
    I recently found out he was gay the entire time.
    I guess your system doesn’t work for my situation. I believe he used me to cheat on his gay lover for 2 years. He led me to believe he was going to marry me etc, and of course I realise now he was lying the entire time.
    What would you recommend other than run in the opposite direction?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Since the free plan is about getting your life back, and NOT about getting your (gay) ex boyfriend back I don’t see why it can’t work for your situation.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and then follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  163. lele says:

    im pregnant. with his kid.. ..since we broke up the first time he just tells me he isn’t happy and just doesn’t have any feelings for me…but yet we had sex still in between..=/ sigh

    so when i caught him the other night hanging out with some other girl but they work together… drinking… he isn’t suppose to but he told me he had work and never called me and well i tried to meet her and he wasn’t letting me so i did…and i got pissed off… and pushed him out of my way because he grabbed my stomach and my arm to try to kick me out of his house..
    but recently he broke up with me…he said he was going to try..now hes with her… and tried to hide it from me… now hes trying to be my friend…
    though none of this is what i want i want him in my life..:( sigh… i need advice what to do …

    than also last night he came ove begging me to be his friend again and i told him no and i don’t want him to see the child and such… and he was going to leave but then he stopped me when iwas walking away and he told me to look at him cos he was like crying u can see his eyes watery he said he cared and loved me still though hes been telling me he doesn’t because he has to be mean for me to get through my head he doesn’t wanna be with me… but i told him no still though he kept trying to get me to hug him and kept kissing my hands and forehead and putting his hand on my stomach alot idk.. what to do.. i love him but i dont think he deserves to my friend period all he has done is lie…i want him to give me and him a try he hasn’t exactly done that.. he just always just says its not going to work the whole way. .. =/ idk what to do help plz

    and then last night i called cos i hurt myself and i though he’d care but he didn’t answer he called back and said he told me to unblock him off face book because its deceitful and hateful and we shouldn’t be that way … toward each other.. though he hurt me so much..after telling him i fell off my bike..the thing is … i told him the person i hung out with that night was a friend and i told him he was trying to get me to have sex with him and i didnt want to .. i don’t want anyone else…that gut frustrated me and when i got on my bike i fell down thinking about the baby dad…idk he keeps telling me to go for other guys … i cant eve n have a conversation without him telling me to move on and that’s hurting me…i want him back i want to be with him is their any advice out their to fix this sigh

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Tell the babies dad he better get ready to pay child support, and make sure you go to court to get it.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  164. lmarsden says:

    ive been with my bf for just over 9 months. we fell for eachother a month before we got together while we were taking things slow. for the 1st 6 months he put in alot of effort n made me feel rly good bout myself, and always complained tht i wasnt into him cos i never txted him 1st or asked to meet him. i wasnt used to a lad always wantin to speak or to see me so i took it for advatage cos i new i could be a twat and he wunt give up. after 6 months we went on holiday with eachother. we went a full day wivout talkin cos jealousy started to hit me. he was always a jealous lad though. he gave up cryin over me and always puttin in effort after realisin i wsnt givin it bak. the on our 7 months he ended me for a week. he sed he cudnt live wivout me n he’d never leve again. he left bout 3 weeks later for anther 4 days. then a month later he went for another week bt this time i went to his house after him sayin we’d never get bak tgva. it always crops up in arguments i always say we wunt be together now if i didnt cum bak n he always says yes we would i wuda come bak. he tells me he wants to get engaged on r yr aniversary. he ses were guna grow old tgva and have kids n tht. bt i dnt hav tht faith in him after leavin me so much. now its me always wantin to talk, txt, or see. i cry. my anger is getting out of hand. i hit my slf i hit walls n doors. i get angry over little things. things he ust to care bout n now dosent. is it bcuase im lettin him walk all over me? i think cos im chasin him he feels wanted n dusnt give it bak. i wana back off, bt im scared he will feel he dont need me nemre. plus the other night he sed were guna tell our kids hw much we fell for eachuva at first sight n hw no1 got in btweeen us, then he tells me the night aftr he wants me more than needs me. n surely he shud need me after sayin tht sort of shit? im rly miserable im in complete love with him n i dnt fink he loves me back bt i cannot live wivout him ive tried 3 times :( hes my bestfriend we do alot togther bt he ses he cant show me he cares unless i cut out arguments? does he mean tht?? x

  165. S. Williams says:

    Hi,

    Use no contact to give you both time apart, and time for you to get some anger management counseling.

    Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

    Using no contact correctly will reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings for you.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  166. lmarsden says:

    hes not my ex we are stil together, he just says he cant show me he cares untill i stop arguin but i dont beleive him :(

  167. mar_89 says:

    Hi Scott,

    My ex boyfriend broke up with me about 7 months ago now and at the time, he had stated he just “didn’t love me anymore”. I was heartbroken for a while but we had only dated for about 5 months. About 3 or 4 months after the break up, we were out one night with our friends (we have a close group of friends we hang out with) and due to accidental circumstances, I ended up alone with him downtown and walking to the bus, he grabbed and kissed me. I ended up at his place and it was basically a booty call. We started talking a bit more and getting back to being friends and on good terms and about 2 months later, we hooked up again and same thing happened, he grabbed and kissed me. He has told me he doesn’t like me that way but from what’s happened on both those nights, it seems there might be something more. I feel as though I am over him but am not entirely sure anymore. I really want to initiate something with him soon because I miss being intimate with him and I miss the satisfaction it brings. I should tell you that lately we have talked about why it is he broke up with me and he states it is essentially because I expected too much from him and made a great deal about some things and blew up at him for no reason at times. I agree to a certain extent with his reasoning but is there a way I can fix this? He is single, I am single. What can/should I do? Please help? I am looking for an unbiased opinion and I hope you can shed some light.
    Thank you and hope to hear from you soon!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Let me break it down for you, OK?

      He wants the sex, you want the sex plus commitment.

      You can’t make someone love you, and there is a big difference between intimacy and a booty call, and you are just his booty call.

      My advice is to stop trying to get something from your ex that he doesn’t want to offer, by blaming yourself, for being yourself, understand?

      If you really want true love, you have to focus on that, and not just a person who you think can give that you, but can’t.

      You are in-fact tying yourself to selfish guy who only wants to get laid.

      If you want to “untie” yourself, and get your life back so you can focus on attracting the real love you desire, go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – Once you have your life back, you can learn how to attract anything you want into your life, by learning the secret to manifestation here:

      The Quantum Cook Book

      You can get the kind of love you want and deserve, if you know how to attract it.

      • mar_89 says:

        I understand the difference but he seems to add intimacy whenever we have hooked up- that’s what confused me. That it was not simply JUST a booty call both times (i.e get in and out and you’re done). What do I do if I just want no strings sex> because it is safe and comfortable and easy with him…
        Any advice will help.

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          This is a dumb fucking question.

          The only confusion is coming from yourself.

          You want “no strings sex”, you already have that, so what are you whining about?

          Some people make me laugh, I think they fucking live for the drama.

          Let’s see you went to dinner, and you ordered a steak (sex), and they gave you some lobster (intimacy) for free, and you want to complain?

          This sounds like the script to some lame chick flick “drama” movie.

          Please help me…I am having too much fun when I have sex, what should I do about it?

          Think about your great grandfather and grandmother naked, that should kill the mood for you…lol

          Please go ask your dumb fucking questions somewhere else.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  168. Dee says:

    My ex boyfriend and I broke up about 8 months ago. It took me 6 months to heal. I still love him and desire him back. After the breakup there was very little contact via email and then it ceased. I noticed when he’d asked how I was doing or up to in the past, he made it point to indirectly let me know he went out with a co-worker for pleasure or something as if to make me jealous. Then I would not hear from him. I one day did what you instructed on your website to do. This is the email I sent to him on Dec 8,

    Hello (His Name)

    just want to say, thank you for returning my call last week and it was good talking to you as a friend. I would also like to personally apologize for the things that led to our breakup and I’m glad we are friends. After having time to heal, reflect and moving forward, I can now see that us breaking up was the right thing to do and I’m truly happy. I have no regrets about our breakup and for that I say, Thank you David.

    I wish you well my friend and take care.

    Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year!!!!

    THIS WAS HIS RESPONSE BACK ON DEC 10

    Hi (My Name)

    You don’t need to apologize for the breakup. It was completely my fault. I wasn’t ready to get into another serious relationship so soon after my breakup with my x-girlfriend. I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings. It was never my intentions to hurt your feelings.

    I’m glad that you are happy now. You deserve a GREAT guy and I know in my heart that you will find one. You are one in a million and I will never forget the long talks we had and the great time that we spent together.

    You have a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!!!!!!

    By the way, I swear I didn’t fart when we were in the park….

    After I received his email, I did not respond nor did I contact him. As a matter of fact, there really hasn’t been any true contact up until this point. Out of the blue on Dec 23, I get this message from my exboyfriend.

    (My Name)

    I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!!!!!!!

    I hope that you are doing good and I will talk to you soon.

    I was shocked. Can you please tell me if this is a sign that he still likes me and wants me back? Or is he just being nice? I’m stuck on the, “I will talk to you soon” part. If he calls, should I answer the first time? I already know to be very brief if I do talk to him. Since our breakup, I’ve lost 30 pounds and look nice. I’ve finally got to the point that I really accepted the breakup and was moving on. But I must say, this recent contact has me going a little. How to I win this man back? We don’t share the same friends and he lives 35 to 40 minutes away from me. I believe he’s the one for me. I don’t want to mess this up? Plus I just got laid off and I really don’t want to share this info to him at this time. I want to appear to be doing very well. I miss us but I need a plan and I want to do it right wanting him eating out of my hands, but in the right way of course. : )

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I don’t have any letter on my Blog like that crappy one you sent your ex, it sucked…lol

      If you want to succeed you must first get your life back, and stop trying to kiss your ex boyfriends ass with apologies.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  169. Bella Donna says:

    I haven’t read your free break-up plan on your blog which includes the NC yet, but I did purchase your ebook which I read twice. I will be reading it,but I was hoping you could advice me on what my ex is thinking and may be feeling.And finally, is there any hope for a relationship here in the future?

    He broke up with me 2 months ago saying our relationship was too serious and he needed to figure out what he really wanted. We took a break with no contact for a week and then saw each other several times within the last 2 months (leaving 2 weeks without talking as being the longest time apart). Since our break-up he has developed a split personality. One minute he is telling me to not give up on him and the next he is telling me he wants me to leave him alone as he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. He even asked me why I say yes everytime he calls me when he wants to see me.

    2 weeks ago or so he said some hurtful things to me on the phone and I decided to give up on him after that. I stopped talking to him for 2 weeks. I got a gym membership, went on a date, cut my hair, just cleared my mind ect.. Christmas is here so we did contact each other and I did see him for the first time. I am a painter and I painted him a brilliant painting that took me 50 hours to do which I did give to him. He loved it. We got on great not talking about our relationship on X-Mas, just catching up and getting up to date on each of our lives. I spent the night on the couch as his bed frame broke and we never kissed. The next day I texted him saying give me a shout if you want to catch up. He called at 1:11 am asking if I wanted to get a drink together, but i was home in bed. So he asked if he could come see me and I said yes. he was very surprised I said yes. He then said,”Ok, I’ll call you when I get there”. An hour went by so I text him and asked if he was coming, he said no. I replied well then it was nice hearing from you, sweet dreams. Then he called at 3:45am and said can I come see you (again). I said yes, then he said ok Ill see you soon, then he changed his mind and was like no I cant come, I cant, he said. So I was like its ok, really just come over. Then he was like no if I come we’ll get back together I can’t come. So I was like I just like chatting with you, come for a cuddle. He said we’ll see and never came.

    Next day (today) he texts me again this timing saying I should come see him at his place. I say okay and drive over there 30 minutes later. I knock on the door, no answer. I text him and I am pretty sure I heard his phone and then movement (maybe I didn’t, I am not sure). So I give it a few minutes and I call and text saying I am outside and leaving in 5 minutes if he doesn’t answer the door. At this point it was 12:15 am. SO, I left. I am not sure if he fell asleep or he changed his mind and was blowing me off. Either way it made me feel terrible.

    So, whats going on here with him, what is he doing and thinking? I thought I was over him and hated him, but clearly I still want to be with him. We dated for 6 months, never fought once and got on brilliantly. This break up hasn’t been easy for me to say the least.

    Some advice would be grand Scott and yes I will read your NC plan… just want some thought as to why he is acting this way and do he think he has feelings for me???

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I am not really sure why your ex boyfriend is acting the way he is, and it really doesn’t matter how acts, or what he says…or does.

      I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.

      I did not write the book MOMU, but I did create the free plan to fill in all the holes “all” the “Get Your Ex Back” books have in them.

      The free plan was meant to use as a supplement to MOMU, or as a standalone plan.

      You must use the NC message as outlined in the free plan (word for word) if you want the best results.

      Analyzing your ex’s behavior is just a big waste of time.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  170. Toni Simmons says:

    Hi i think my ex boyfriend wants me back because hes doing the overreacting thing saying he never want me back but what do i do to get him back cas if i ask him he will either not answear the phone or just say he never wants me back. also i no he wants me back cas he keeps threatening to change his number if dont stop calling him or texing him but he never will change it or never has and just threatens me with it all the time x thanks

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If you want to reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings, go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Stop chasing your ex, and attract the love you deserve by getting your life back.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  171. A.S. says:

    I can relate to this one… I was in a relationship for 10 months with a guy who was 16 years older than me. Age was never an issue but i figured he would know what he wanted from out of a relationship but instead he played alot of games with me, saying he wasnt ready and was still hurt by his ex. we still continued dating, but at one point I left him alone and we had a month break in between but all the while he is telling me he cares about me and his actions are completely different than what he is telling me he acted and told everyone i was his gf. we saw eachother everyday and never really fought about anything until our relationship status came up. I ended things with him in October cause we ended up having our children around eachother and I couldnt handle it anymore. Confusing the children doesnt make it any better. In this time i became close with some of his friends and ended up keeping a realtionship with them until this past december i decided it was just asking for trouble cause i ran into him a few times cause of them. Right around this christmas he started to text and call me. he had been leaving texts here and there through the months after ending things but i just ignored them all. So at christmas i decided to be nice and reply with merry christmas hope you and your family are good. he then decides to spill his heart out to me about how much he cares about me and loves me and saying you dont know what you got till its gone, crying (which i have never heard him do) saying that i got to him and he cares so much about me and my kids and all that. I told him you didnt act like that before he said thats the past all i know is i need you now and you need to be with me. i didnt know how to react so i told him to calm down. he said things that he never said before so i didnt know if they were real or fake feelings? he kept texting, calling and bugging to see me, i went out of town with a new guy im dating a few days later for New Years and he somehow found out about it and got furious about it. Needless to say he has still been bugging me and asking to see me. the day i planned on seeing him i saw a girl driving in a car that i thought was his and flipped out. i guess i used anger to make myself get over him but when i got mad i realized i still had feelings. i went off to him about through text and all of a sudden the tables flipped, he said why you so mad it wasnt my car, and you were just out of town with some guy anyway. then he had the nerve to say im sorry you cant handle being my friend? that threw me for a loop cause he is the one begging and crying to get back with me?? I saw him 2 days after that happened we didnt really resolve anything, it almost seemed like he still didnt know what he wanted and everything he said the few days before never happened?? i ended up leaving in the middle of our conversation cause i wanted to cry and didnt want him to see. i then text him with why are you doing this to me, this is all a game to you, what the point (giving him the upper hand) and he said what games? i wanted to see you and still have feelings and care for you. I guess im overwhelmed with things cause he confused the hell out of me, i was doing fine without him till the whole crying episode and feelings pouring out. im pretty much chasing him WHICH I KNOW IS SO WRONG!! and he is just sitting back not saying or responding to anything i say. Why must we play these games with love, lust or?? Im over here wondering if he will ever call or text me again, or if all he just said was real, and is he embarrased? Im not a man so i dont know. but i know when you really wanna be with someone its not suppose to be this hard? ahhh what a great way to start off the new year!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If you want to end the “head games”, and reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings for you, you need to properly use the no contact rule.

      Go read the free plan on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  172. CarCar says:

    After a couple of months being just friends, we started dating. Then after a couple of months (of what I thought was casual) dating, out of no where he cools things off. I didn’t know why and decided (I didn’t want to) to go out with someone else. I told JJ that is what I was going to do since he was acting like he wanted to get rid of me. JJ said he was not trying to get rid of me and if that is what I want to do, then he was sure I am smart enough to recognize a wolf in sheep clothing.
    after a month, I wrote him a long letter telling him that because he has changed then maybe we should go back to being just friends. I never wanted to be just friends but that was the only way I could think of to get a response out of him. He messages me back that for the past two weeks he met and was seeing someone close to his home and what he likes most about her is she like him too. This broke my heart, but we parted and decided to stay friend.

    The following month I went to see him play and when I was ready to leave we kissed a couple of times. I would not have allowed him to kiss me but while I was talking to one of his band mates I asked about JJ new GF the mate replied “What new GF” so I thought maybe he wasn’t seeing anyone and allowed him to kiss me. Only to find out the next day he was seeing someone.

    3 months later I went out of town to see him play and this time (kiss) it was more passionate, I said he could stay if he wanted, he said he couldn’t “but don’t think it didn’t cross his mind” the reason he couldn’t stay was because his equipment was in the open bed of his truck and could get stolen. He messages me the next day and mentions he had my socks and forgot to give them to me.
    The socks he was referring to are the ones I left at the hotel on our first night together over 8 months earlier. I every time we kiss he will mention my socks.

    The whole month of Sept he sent me flirty text, emails and called. I never asked if he was still seeing someone, just assumed because we had stayed friends he would have told me.
    He comes over to my apt. in Oct we have more passionate kissing in my parking lot, I told him he could not stay this time but maybe next time. Still never said he was still seeing her.
    Two weeks later he comes over to pick up lawn equipment I was giving him. We went out to dinner, he told me he back hurt. I offered to give him a back rub, and then we started kissing, I finally asked if he was still seeing her, he said yes. Then I thought to myself, “What the Hell I haven’t had sex ins over 7 months and we did. Afterwards he starts telling me he felt guilty because she would never do that to him. She is a good person, but she is going through so much with having to have dinner with her ex, trying to get hr daughter thru school, and trying to sell her house. Then he asked how I can say I love him when I don’t really know him. I told him I love what I do know about you and I care very much for you. then he replied I care very much for you and I guess I love you too, but it’s just different with GF.
    So after that night I thought he would never contact me again. He text me he had a good time the night before. He called me two weeks later on his way to a gig and we had fun talking.
    Then, out of no where, things start to cool off again.

    In Dec I decided to put my cards on the table (knowing what the out come could be. He sends me a message that he doesn’t feel the same towards me, he isn’t going to put our relationship under a microscope and pick it apart, about what he has said or what I have said in the past, this is how he feels.
    He said I’m a very loving sweet woman that he wants in his life, but understands if being friends with him is too hard or not good enough he understands.
    Then he goes on to say how he was riddled with guilt, and anger some towards me but mostly at himself. That he didn’t and wasn’t going to tell GF because she has been disappointed and thru so much this past year. He could see no good coming from it. He said “I feel like I let GF down as a “friend” and someone she trusted. That the two of them are in a good place now in their relationship and he doesn’t want to mess that up”

    So I replied “I do need some answers, why did you kiss me all those times? You were sending me so many mixed messages.”
    His response: “It was just wrong. I was tempted and weak and should not have done that.
    I swear I am not playing head games with you. You are a pretty girl and it isn’t not difficult to be attracted to you. But you and I both know you need way more than that. You are a good person and none of this is easy for me. I know it is hurtful no matter how I say it. Just trying to be honest and upfront.”
    Mine: “I truly believe; that you believe, you were not playing head games with me. :-)
    The way I see it, the scenario goes something like this:
    1. You two were having some problems. 2. You were feeling alone and dejected. 3. Being human you wanted to feel better, so, you start showing me more attention. 4. You get back from TX in Oct. and you two resolve your issues.
    I guess what hurts is you knew how I felt about you; yet, you never told me you were still seeing someone, I had to ask.
    After this go-round, I must have built up a tough skin, it didn’t hurt as bad as the first time.”
    His Message: “well it isn’t quite that black and white. GF and I are in a good place now. I never had the feeling of being alone or dejected. Just bad decision making and not being able to control my impulses with you. Not making excuses…you are most certainly right! I am human and I blame myself for this situation.
    I am sure you are tough skinned from all that you have been through over these last 5 years. I would like to be friends with you because again I know you are a good person. I sincerely apologize for any heartache or frustration I have caused you.”

    I didn’t respond after that. Christmas Eve he text me “I hope you are having a great time (with my family in TX)snow is coming here soon, Merry Christmas!”

    Then Dec 27 he messages me: “Hey, saw your post that you made it home. I hope you had a great time. Our Christmas was nice and quiet. Careful driving around. Even though the snow is gone…the roads are still frozen at night in places. Oh…made some of your spice tea the other night. Perfect timing.”

    I messaged him on Dec 31 because a friend of mine said I should at least to be polite because he is trying so I sent: “Got your message, I’m glad you had a nice quiet Christmas. It’s nice to be home.
    Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year.”

    He sent back on Jan.1 at 4:AM: “We had a decent crowd…they said 350+ thru the door…but it looked like 1/2 that. I brought my camera and took some pictures. Got one of me wearing your shirt.”
    (I gave him a shirt before all this started months earlier)

    I didn’t messages him and then the other day I get a private message from him that reads: “Hey girl, Happy Birthday to ya! What are you doing for your Bday?”
    I message: “Nothing.”
    His Message: “I’m dropping off a drum kit in R. on Friday…then Jimmy and I were going to dinner. His treat…we had a bet that his Dad would put less than 1000 miles on the Vette he bought in Spring of 10′. I won!
    Anyway I am staying over and wondering if I can buy you Bday lunch before heading back.”
    My Message: “Thanks, that’s very nice of you, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

    So you are a man, what the hell does this man want from me, and am I doing the right thing by not staying friends?
    He is hypersensitive and cannot stand if someone is mad at him, but i have to let him know that he cannot treat me this way.
    I still love him but I cannot go back to the way things were. I cannot look at him right now. I feel that if I had taken him up on his offer for lunch then he would think things were cool between us.
    But I am also afraid that this time I will not hear from him again.
    I wanted to add to my message when I told him no to lunch, that as long as he is seeing her then I do not want to have anything to do with him.
    That I am hurt and feel betrayed by him.
    I wanted to tell him “if you are afraid I will tell GF what we have done then you do not have to worry I would never say anything, so you do not have to keep contacting me trying to be friends.”

    What is your take on this mess?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It doesn’t matter what “my take” is on this, I don’t want to date the guy.

      If you’re not happy with your current situation, and would like to not only get your life back (and stop worrying about your ex), but also reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings for you, I can help.

      Go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  173. Moon says:

    Hi,

    We started dating in Feb 2009. In the beginning everything was good but slowly small fights started. I didnt have a proper job and started wrongly taking out my frustration on him. We shared the same apartment but still didnt get time to go out on dates often as our day offs never matched. I just wanted more attention from him and was getting impatient. Anyway in Sept 2009 he told me “I want a break, give me space and time” As we were staying together I couldnt leave him alone and became obsessed and acted crazy. He treated me very badly during that time though I realise now it was all my fault. From Sept to beginning of Dec I didnt leave him alone. He told me “the more u r doing this.. u r putting more distance between us”, “u dont come and talk to me.. i will come and talk to u”. Anyway from Dec I left him completely alone though I bought him a bday cake. He told me “it means a lot to me”.
    I didnt talk to him from Dec and in Jan end he came to me and told me “I know I have been a complete ass to u.. lets start everything fresh.. lets be friends first” Anyway I said yes and then we sort of started talking again. But I guess I was not ready to talk to him as just a friend and again with my emotions pushed him away. The last day I spoke to him sometime in Feb 2010 he tried to close his door on my house and then he told me “What part dont u understand”. I realised then (Too late.. I know) that he had not asked me for a break but had really broken up with me.. and I was foolish enough to stay in that house waiting for him.

    Anyway feb 2010 I deleted him from Facebook as I realised that I was checking his profile every day and stalking him which scared me. Then I found out that he blocked me on Facebook. I started looking for a place immediately. It took me some time to get a place but finally I moved into this new place in May 2010. After that I went into severe depression as everything finally sinked in and I realised how much a fool I looked. Some of our mutual friends used to call me to find out how I am, asked me “u expect a call from him or what”. I also got to know from them that he left that apartment and he also changed his number. So he blocked me on Facebook, changed his number, moved from that apartment, thus he doesnt want to interact me ever. I felt more hurt. Finally as my job contract ended I decided to take a break from everything and planned a trip to my country for 4 months. The day I was leaving another of our mutual friends called me asking me “Are u still waiting for him?” I laughed it off saying that he is history.

    Anyway I had fun in my country, went out on some dates with guys there. I feel much more confident now. But I still miss my ex not the way I used to miss before but still miss him as a person. After coming back to this country 2 weeks back I found that he has unblocked me on Facebook. I dont want to look needy or desperate but I would like to add him as a friend. I dont know what to do. I realise that I was stupid and too much into him etc and basically scared him. But now I feel I can consider him as just a friend but at the same time I dont want to look needy or desperate. The thing is I deleted him from Facebook so I know if I want communication lines to be open, I only have to make a move. But again I dont want to look needy and desperate as I have behaved like that in the past. What do I do? Or should I just leave it thinking that he can add me as well? What do I do?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s.

      If you want help evolving past the break up and getting your life back, go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  174. Ashley says:

    okay so look i am not sure if my ex boyfriend wants me back or not because we had our last conversation last week and he said he didnt want me because he said he didnt like me like how he used to, it doesnt feel the same. thats what he said and we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways but yet i have this one guy friend who is always hanging out with me and my friend colin says he will always catch my ex looking at him and me. Or if i am by myself being me he will always look act like he is haaving fun and then look at me. I fell like my ex is trying to make me notice him somehow by always being in the front of me. what i mean in the front of me is like always trying to make sure i see him. Secind, when we cut off talking to each other, he said i never said i didnt like you ashley i just dont feel the same and will use diferent analogies like for me to go and see him at points when he knows i couldn after the fact he said he didnt want me. my other friend said that everytime my name is brought up to my ex when anyone aks bout us, he says he doesnt say anything like he doesnt want to talk about it. also, my ex said that when i leave and i am a frshman in college because i am a grade level ahead of him is too call him and we can hang. but whats funny is aftr the break up when i said letsbe friends, he talls me no because he said it would only make it harder for me and him. Which to me doesnt make sinceif he said he didnt like me and didnt want to be with me anymore. I wanna know what can you conclude about this?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It seems to me he doesn’t really know what he wants, and that should be “his” problem, not yours.

      You should just move on and live your life, and if he changes his mind he can come back, and you can both start over again, if you are “both” willing.

      It isn’t any big deal, people get confused about their feelings all the time, at least he didn’t cheat on you, right?

      If you spend your time analyzing what he is doing, or thinking, it will only hold you both back.

      If you need help evolving past the break up and getting your life back, go read the free plan, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thanks for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  175. Brittany says:

    this is long… it is just what has happened between us since the breakup :/ do you think he is still interested and will get back with me/

    Sunday 2/27- The breakup
    Monday 2/28- I was very needy, called him tons of times, contacted my dad who i havent talked to in years, walked with matt in the hallway but he was kinda mean about it
    Tuesday 3/1- I got my hair done, eyebrows waxed, started tanning, and practiced putting on my makeup to be prepared for the next day. i called him because i was lonely and he was building chicken pens and said he would call later and a few hours later he texted me.
    Wednesday 3/2- He told me i was pretty, he waited for me in the hall (i ignored), he told my friend i looked pretty, he talked to me after school when i walked by and came to me to talk but at the end of the convo he said he would try to find anything of mine and bring it to me. When he got home he called but i didnt answer. and he told my other friend he still loved me.
    Thursday 3/3- I was pretty, Matt’s bff told my sister at lunch that i have looked really pretty, he is still parking beside me but he doesn’t wait in the morning, i had a test to makeup after school and he talked to my sister in the parking lot. i had the wrong test so i left school. he was in my car and i got in and he was just messing around and stuff then he locked his keys in his car on accident (he wouldnt do it on purpose) and so i let him sit in my car and i was gettin the trash out so i handed it to him and i was like here matt you can have this since you are such a trashy friend and he corrected me and said boyfriend… i was really confused by this because i didnt know if it was an accident, out of habit, or if he was saying you are still mine…, also this is the day Austin started texting me
    Friday 3/4- I dressed pretty for school, but didnt see him all day, i texted him to ask if he was going to mardi gras and he said no then asked me how i have felt about being free and i was like it feels good then i was like i have to go because i am going walking and he replied with i am going to start to party, are you? i am also working out. he is not the partying type though… he hates crowds and doesnt drink or smoke. he might be working out though im not sure. I also went to a hockey game and i texted him off my friends dads phone and was like i hear you are single now and he replied with single and happy… then he was asking who i was and if i could send a picture… which i didnt. this really made me upset but then i was thinking i have prank texted him before so maybe he knew it was me and he was trying to make me upset… IDK
    Saturday 3/5- I went to mardi gras and didnt talk to him or hear from him.
    Sunday 3/6- I went to church and to another hockey game and i still didnt talk to him or hear from him
    Monday 3/7- I was pretty for school, i parked beside him because he made it to school before i did and he was working on homework which i usually helped with or did for him. i didnt wait on him but i knocked on the window and waved and walked into school. after 2nd block i saw him in the hallway with a mutual friend and said hi and matt noticed my shoes then i walked to class by myself.
    Tuesday 3/8- I didnt go to school because i have a dentist appointment but i went to my parking spot to drop off my sister and he didnt wait on me in the car, i went to the gym, talked to thomas trumen, matt texted me and i texted back

    • S. Williams says:

      Tuesday 3/8 – Replied to a post on my Blog

      Hi,

      I don’t have a clue whether your ex boyfriend wants you back or not, but if you want to find out yourself, you can use the free plan.

      Go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Using the no contact rule correctly will reveal your ex’s true feelings for you.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  176. Marie says:

    Hello,

    I’m confused, sad, and in pain… I could use any and all pieces of advice right now.

    My ex and I lived together for 1 year and a half. The entire relationship lasted over 4 years. At the end of January, 2 weeks after having spent a 5 day vacation in England together, he told me that he wanted to split. A week after that he moved out, but decided to stay in the relationship. Then, on February 13th, he broke up with me. He told me that he didn’t feel the same feelings for me anymore, and wanted to date other people. I cried, but said goodbye.

    I have to admit that during the weeks that we were “together” but not living together, I wasn’t a good version of myself. I’d have perfect days with him, then emotional ones in which all I could do was think about the relationship. I know that that helped drive him away…

    He had kept his keys to my place that I now live in alone, until I called him 2 weeks after the official break up asking to have them back. You see, I have family coming into town this week, and they’ll need to use them.

    Instead of calling me and telling me when he’d drop them off, he surprised me last week at my place with the keys. Luckily, I was looking great, and was in a happy mood. He mentioned a couple of times how good he thought I looked, and we shared a couple of minutes of small talk, then I gave a hug and walked away.

    I hate to have done this, but I took that as a sign that he still has some sort of interest in me. Please tell me if there’s any hope for me and this relationship.

    Thanks for your time.

    • S. Williams says:

      Marie says:

      Please tell me if there’s any hope for me and this relationship.

      Hi,

      Realistically you have a 50/50 chance of getting back together with your ex boyfriend, but if you “only focus” on that you will have an even lesser chance, why?

      Because you can’t reverse a break up, what’s broken is broken, don’t try to salvage your old “failed” relationship, once you break up, it is time to evolve past the break up and move on.

      I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s, if you don’t understand why, go read the “About” section of my Blog.

      After you understand why I recommend you get your life back, and not your ex, go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • Marie says:

        Thank you Mr. Williams,

        I do still have a couple of questions regarding my situation though. He still has a few things left behind in my apartment…the one we used to share together. I don’t know what to do with it. I boxed up all that was his, and now it’s waiting with the few pieces of furniture he’d also left behind. He moved out during the last week of January, and we’ve been officially broken up since Feb. 13th. Why is his stuff still here?

        Should I call him to get it, wait for him to call to get it, or take it back to him myself?

        I want to be an adult about everything.

        I think I’ve personally done a great job of getting my life back as you mentioned. I’ve gone out and spent great time with friends/family, and have also been taking some fun hobby classes the past few weeks.

        Any suggestions?

        Thanks for your time.

        • S. Williams says:

          Marie says:

          He moved out during the last week of January, and we’ve been officially broken up since Feb. 13th. Why is his stuff still here?

          Should I call him to get it, wait for him to call to get it, or take it back to him myself?

          Hi,

          It is your place, and you want his stuff out of there, nothing wrong with that.

          I would call him to ask him to come get it (that is not breaking NC), if you don’t want to, then just drop it off where he is living now, or donate it to the goodwill.

          I wouldn’t wait for him to come get it, that could be a while.

          Just remember to keep any contact with your ex boyfriend all about the business at hand.

          Do not let him bring up the break up, NC, or your personal life, the free plan discusses how to handle these kinds of situations.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  177. Casi says:

    Well in short and straight out i lied about something small and after the break up i ran to his mother said things tht was btwn the 2 of us….anyway he said he didnt trust me…told me its not tht he doesnt want it to work he just doesnt trust me…says he cares and doent have interest in another woman he just doesnt trust me… i asked him if i worked for his trust again how would he feel…he said ” do what you have to”…is this good or bad?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I would leave him alone, and use the no contact rule to reveal his true feelings.

      Go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  178. Kim says:

    Hi Mr. Williams,

    I’ve been with my ex for 2yrs & 6 mths and he has decided to break up on last month. Reason was because of my angry temper. After break up, he still contacts me via call/sms/msn. We did met for 3 times after break up. I told him that i’ve knew my mistake and will improve on it. He believes me. But somehow, he is stubborn and still don’t want to back with me. He said he is selfish, don’t want me to let go but at the same time he can’t make any decision. He asked me to look for others better than him and he will as well. So what shall i do? I still love him and want him back. I know i should apply the no contact rules perhalps for one month. But after one month then what shall i do? I’m lost of my mind and don’t know what to do. Yesterday i told him that i will let go. But he still hopes that we can still keep in touch. He keep saids sorry. I don’t know what to do by remove out his ‘stubborn’.. Please help me.. Thanks..

    • S. Williams says:

      Kim says:

      I know i should apply the no contact rules perhalps for one month. But after one month then what shall i do?

      Hi,

      Using no contact for exactly 30 days is NOT long enough, why?

      Because you need to evolve past the break up and get your life back, and that takes months 4-6 months usually, as proven in our forum.

      I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s.

      Go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  179. ImSoSad says:

    My ex and were together for a year. There were ups and downs. He deployed for Afghanistan in April 2010 and came back Nov 2010. He proposed to me over the phone May 2010.

    I started to not trust him not long after left because of some weird relationship he had had with someone else before me. They met online and never met, but lived near each other. He was always bothered she would not meet him. I found out that they had been in contact not long after he left. He said he wanted to know why she never wanted to meet him and with his buddies, got her to send pics of what she really looked like. The version of the story I got, was that she randomly contacted him with pics of herself, not the fake she had been using online. I started to be upset with him in September. He finally admitted he had to know why she would never meet him and with peer pressure from guys at work, he kept emailing her for pics. I had a hard time with this. If we are engaged, why would you feel the need to even care about her?

    So, I still decide to leave the state I’m in and move across the country to set up our new apartment in Oct. He gets home in Nov, and I just wanted to smack him, I was still mad about what he did. We fought and I left twice, and then he moved out of state for his next assignment. We were still together at this point, and talking, figuring out if we were going to work or not. I had not had sex with him since he got back, and I know this was upsetting. But, for me, if I;m upset with you, I will have a hard time being intimate with you. He had lied about a couple of other things, they were minor, but I was trying to trust him again…and having a hard time with that as well.

    So, he went on a date and didn’t tell me until the next day and told me he was only waiting until I had some medical tests come back to tell me he didn’t want me anymore. I had heard this before from him and I hadn’t been making it easy on him because I was still not in the same state with him. He didn’t want to date this particular woman, but wanted to see if he could move on. Normally for him, he will not keep in contact or stay friends with an ex, the exception is the ex-wife due to their kids.

    I had asked if he thought we would possibly be together again and he said maybe. We didn’t talk much more about it and I didn’t want to push the subject.

    So, the next week, he goes on a date with someone else. And tells me that she was nice and has a child as well. Then the next night, he has a formal dinner to go to. I don’t hear from him at all until the next day. He told me he took this woman he just met and he had sex with her, but she was very aggressive and had some outlandish sexual fantasies and that she scared him.

    The next day, I brought up the subject of us being together again and he said, what if you come out here tomorrow and be with me and not be mad that I slept with her? I still have strong feelings for you and I miss you very very much. I said I that was big and I asked my question because I figured for the moment he was doing his thing and needed time. We didn’t get to talk more about this.

    Fast forward to Saturday morning, I get a text message saying him and this woman are now dating seriously. It’s barely been two weeks for us to be split and he has not even know this woman a week. I’m thinking it’s primarily a rebound relationship and he is there because she is only about 1-2 hours from and will have sex with him.

    Then I hear nothing else from him until last night. He texts me for a pic. I ask why. The response is “My girlfriend wants to know what you look like.”. I cannot believe he could be that stupid, cruel and hurtful. Nor can I believe that I still want to be with him. I texted him back and I’ll pass on the pic. Then a few minutes later I texted him that what she wants is not my concern.

    Now I am sitting here alone, depressed and upset. I wanted to work things out with him, but feel like I’ve been slapped in the face.

    What do you suggest? I know it may not be best, but I do still love him and want a chance to try this one last time with him, but how is that possible if he is with someone else so soon?

    Thanks.

    • S. Williams says:

      ImSoSad says:

      Now I am sitting here alone, depressed and upset. I wanted to work things out with him, but feel like I’ve been slapped in the face.

      What do you suggest? I know it may not be best, but I do still love him and want a chance to try this one last time with him, but how is that possible if he is with someone else so soon?

      Hi,

      If you want to reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings for you, use the free plan.

      Go read the free plan here on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  180. ImSoSad says:

    I’ve looked at the NC letters already, but I don’t know how that works when he is just now dating someone else. Won’t I look foolish sending that?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      You’ll look more foolish pining away for a man that doesn’t want you.

      I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s.

      I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Did you even take the time to read the whole free plan?

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  181. ImSoSad says:

    Yes, I did. And quite a few of your links say “get my ex back”. So if you don’t help get people ex’s back, why do all the links saying that? =D

    • S. Williams says:

      ImSoSad says:

      Yes, I did. And quite a few of your links say “get my ex back”. So if you don’t help get people ex’s back, why do all the links saying that? =D

      Hi,

      It doesn’t do me any good to post answers to your questions if you don’t take the time to read them.

      One more time.

      S. Williams says:

      I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s.

      I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Please have the courtesy to read my replies before asking any more questions, OK?

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  182. codi says:

    My boyfriend broke up with me tuesday. It was out of left feild cause he kept saying how much he missed me while I was at work. Well that same night he was already texting me asking what I was doing. And he has talked to me breifly since. I think this is a good sign and so doses everyone I talk to. I just want to know how do I get him back and keep him FOREVER!

    • S. Williams says:

      codi says:

      I just want to know how do I get him back and keep him FOREVER!

      Hi,

      Before deciding that you want to “keep him forever” why don’t you confirm he feels the same way about you, make sense?

      If you properly use the free plan, you can evolve past the breakup, get your life back, and reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you.

      My method works the BEST because I teach people to focus on getting their lives back, not on getting their ex boyfriends back.

      I explain this theory in the “About” section of my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  183. Kate says:

    We broke up in December, tried to get back together in February, he stopped talking to me or answering my texts in March and so on. We were to be married today (April 25), but obviously are not now. He claims that I cheated on him (which I never did), lied to him (which I confessed to – and they were nothing earth shattering). I texted him for his birthday and hoped things were good for him. I told him I missed him. He sent me back a text that was rude, mean, and awful! He blamed the entire breakup on me and hoped it was worth it. I asked him to tell me who the “men” were, but he could not. As I continued to apologize and let him know how much I was hurting, he just keep saying – karma comes around. He told me that someday he would find someone who would appreciate and love him for him. I do. I did everything for him and I still love him even though the hurt is tremendous. I haven’t heard from him today, and I probably won’t hear from him again unless he has some change of heart (he is very stubborn and his mother and best friend are influencing him.) At any rate, this is long, sorry, I want him back – so how do I combat stubborness, mother, best friend, and wall around his heart? I believe he is overreacting … but I don’t know. Thanks

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It doesn’t matter who is influencing him, in the end he makes the final decision, stop kidding yourself.

      If you want to reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings for you, use the no contact rule to evolve past the break up, and get your life back again.

      I help people get their lives back, not their ex’s, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  184. Sara says:

    So I knew this guy for 6-8 years, we were always just friends then last year we really fell for each other and became official. We started a long distance relationship because we’re both studying in different countries after a couple of months I realized I wanted more out of this and I applied to be in the same country as him, he was so happy and truly thankful for a girlfriend like me. We’d sit for hours on the phone discussing how amazing it would be to live in the same country. Then out of no where he tells me he just doesn’t think it’s right anymore and he doesn’t want to a force a relationship on himself that he doesn’t find right and he told me that if it’s meant to be well cross paths in the future. I was absolutely devastated and I am actually still very hurt. I took a couple of weeks to think about stuff and we started talking as friends, the only time he would ask about me or contact me would be I started a conversation first. My questions are, what do you I should do about this situation and do you still think it’s a good idea to transfer schools and countries now (the school I got accepted is very high ranked and very well known)?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Since your “boyfriend” told you he was no longer interested in having a relationship with you, I would not base your decision around having a relationship with him…obviously.

      You should make your decision based on what is best for you academically, and nothing else.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  185. Angela says:

    My boyfriend of four years told me he is cheating on me and beg for my forgiveness sincerly,i forgive him instantly,but the next day,he said he is choosing her over me and dumped me.he tells me he still love me and will never loved anyone like me again not even the girl but becos of the guilt of his cheating,he say he will never forgive himself and we should end it cos we would never be the same again.he still texted me everyday and kept asking me about my love life and compares me with the girl.Please tell me what to do,i still love him but am trying to keep my distance and text him back once in while only.

  186. Angela says:

    Thanks.I forgot to mention the details.we both worked out of our home town so at first we been staying together at the same place for two years and becos of his work,he relocate to another place and we continued through long distance relationship for two years now and he used to come back to me and used up all the vacation time he had to spend time with me which left his parents a bit upset.Then his parents changed their work place.So to visit their new place and to see them,this year he spent one week with them this january and the rest with me again but thats when he met the girl.He told me at once there is a girl who really likes him a lot.Then his parents starts having health problems around March,so this april he went back and thats when he cheated on me.The girl was there to help his parents out at the time of their need.he told me he was grateful to her for being there for his parents and thats when they started to kept in touch .Unluckily for him,he cant screw around cos they are miles away apart and he knows the girl barely for three weeks only.We never kept secret from each other so as soon as he went back to his work place,he told me everthing.The rest i have told u already.
    p.s i have a bit of a temper and i told him so many times i will leave him which i never did anyways.i felt its partly my fault too becos just before he went to visit his parents,i told him to leave me alone again.he’s alwys the one who calls first to patch things up which i took for granted but this time not only did he not come back to me,he cheated.do u think i still have a chance after hearing my stories.

  187. Angela says:

    I am close with his family so i know about what all the problems they have.The girl family are powerful and i know what they could have done to help his father get a better job.he was in a bit of trouble with his boss.thats a plus point on her part.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      No one is responsible for your happiness except yourself, and the same goes for everyone else.

      Everyone has problems, it is how we “choose” to deal with them that separates the men from the mice.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  188. Angela says:

    Hi,Scott,sorry for adding bits of pieces here and there.The first time he went to meet his parents,he was suppose to stay one week only.but then he call me up and said his mother didnt want him to leave cos she misses him too much and its too soon.i told him if he didnt come home to me,i will broke up with him.so he come home to me and told me right away that he was at a party,he was completely drunk and he said the girl kiss him and he kisses back.he said he didnt remember much of what happen which is often true to his case.i know cos he usually goes blank when he drink too much.now when he told me this,he felt so guilty that i reminded him the story i told him about my ex visiting me one year ago.i told him the only secret i kept from him,that is before he leave my home,my ex ask me for a kiss but i just gave him a peck at the mouth which i though was harmless.i told him so he wont feel so guilty.but he was so angry with me and said if he didnt tell me what happen,i will never told him about it,which is true by the way and how can i kept it a secret for so long.he said he could kiss so many girls but he never did.from that day,things started to go a bit out of the ordinary.when i look back now,i think he felt so betrayed that he must have decided to return back the girl attention or maybe he is not telling me the whole truth,maybe he likes the girl from the start and want to put all the blames on me by telling me i have no respect for him,i kept a secret from him and all the bullshit he has taken from me and how he suffers from all the verbal abuse i throw at him.he is right in some respect.i can be really annoying sometimes.all our friends are shocked that we broke up becos they can all see how much we used to love each other.So now after all this,can i get him back now.

  189. Angela says:

    Hi Scott,just wanted to update you.i have send the recommended NC message just now and this is how he replied.’i made a mistake,please forgive and forget me.things will never be the same.am so sorry.i never wanted it to be this way.u will always be in my heart,my special love.pls forgive me.ill never forgive myself till the end of my life’.

  190. Taylor says:

    I would really like to get my ex back! I miss him alot its been 4 months. We broke up because my mom found out and riped him out of my life because of our age difference. She said when I was 16 that I could date him again. What do I do to get him back? He is starting to look at me again when he sees me out around town. I miss the old days and I can’t stand not being with him! Any advice?

  191. Taylor says:

    Thanks but the thing is she will never be ok with it thats the problem. I dont want to hurt my mom but I also want to be happy and be with the person I love. I still have 3 months till I’m 16. I just dont know what to do any more!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I am NOT a lawyer, and I can not give you legal advice, but if you are underage, you could get your older boyfriend in trouble if you have sex.

      You should at least wait until you are 16, then talk with your mother about it, talk, don’t argue, OK?

      As far as sex goes, don’t be in a rush, sex doesn’t = true love.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  192. Angela says:

    Hi Scott,more updates.he still text me everyday to see how am i doing and finally he calls me now which i did not pick up too and then he text me saying ‘ i want to talk to you so badly but you dont want to take my calls’.how about that.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Just keep ignoring his attempts to get you to break the no contact rule.

      Remember this is about getting your life back, not getting your ex boyfriend back.

      Thank you for writing.

      Stay Strong and Positive!

      S.W.

  193. Angela says:

    Hi scott,sorry for disturbing you again.more updates.he send me lots of texts.he is acting crazy.he said like you are forgeting me now.i have given four years of my life to you.you never wish me gudnite like you did before.maybe becos you found somebody else.be happy.remember me please.i wish i could turn back time.my love wasnt enough for you.why did you said you love me.i cried every night becos of you.i try to move on but i cant.please listen to delta goodrem song, lost without you and stuff like that.

  194. Lindsey says:

    Hi Scott, i have one of the most complicated stories to tell but i’ll keep it short. I dated this guy for about a year and a half, we went through SO much. we eventually broke up because i became so busy i couldn’t see him. the break up was pretty messy, but lately(after about 6 months) we’ve become..sort of friends. The last time we talked was actually yesterday, and he didn’t mention his new girlfriend, but he brought up old memories of…well personal events and once i brought up sweet, romantic, events he became short with me replying with “mhm” and “yeah..”. i really don’t know what this all means, is it a sign or am i overreacting? how do i get closer to him again? and if possible how could i get him back? i have so much time now and i really miss him.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If he has a new girlfriend you are mostly going to be placed in the “just friends” zone, or the FWB zone.

      I am guessing the FWB zone (friends with benefits).

      If you are not looking to be part of either of these clubs, and you want to get your ex boyfriend back, I suggest you start using the no contact rule correctly.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back on my Blog, and follow ALL the steps.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  195. alice says:

    My ex recently started showing these signs, we broke up almost three months ago and out of nowhere he starts texting me again and asking to hang out and we’re always running into each other. He flirts with me, and still does things that shows he cares and the other night he really confused me because he pretty much took me on a date and we ended up at a beach looking at stars and he starts holding me and cuddling me and making all these affectionate signs towards me and even tries kissing me (but I said no). I asked him “why are you doing this?” and he said “I don’t know”. I asked him to just open up to me and he said “it’s not like I’m holding anything in” then he started being really cold and distant right after and dropped me home. The next day he sent me a text apologizing for what happened and that he didn’t know what he was thinking and was stupid. That was the last I heard from him, which was yesterday. He seems like he wants me back yet I think he’s confused about it because he always used to tell me “we’re never going to be together again, just forget about me” and he would always mention how he likes be single and he likes having freedom.

    What should I do??? I’m so confused!

    • alice says:

      also, I asked him that night. “What were your intentions on doing this? I feel like you’re just trying to use me or take advantage of me” he replied with definitely not and in the text he also said “I wasn’t trying to take advantage of you”. So I don’t think he just wants FWB

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If he likes his freedom so much, give it to him.

      After all, you can’t make him stay.

      But you can reveal your ex boyfriends true feelings for you by correctly using the no contact rule.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The quickest way to get your ex boyfriend back is by getting your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back, and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  196. Brooke says:

    well.. i met him with he was at my house fishing and it was kinda crazy because he had a girlfried and she was not good to him so i told him he needs to tell her its over and find someone that world not be like that to him and so he did and it was me but we had sex and he was a frist timer and we where together for like a month and then it happen again after we had got back together and all in the same day we text me and told me i think we need to we be friends but its so hard to be friends because i care so much about him and it makes me feel all werid inside when i see him and i really dont know what to say or do ive tried almost everything Oh yes, his gf now is bad to him but i just want to show him that i can be really good for him in all ways but like he says its so werid that when he’s around me all he thinks about is the break up so yesterday him and some friends where being dumb and he said fml and i said no please dont say that and he said why you still have feeling for me or something and i said maybe but i just want him back and i feel like im not doing really good i just want to show him that i can be a good girlfriend i was never bad to him like never and i just kinda want some help on how i can make him feel like what have i done wrong i do want to be with her but how too tell her just want him to see that he lost me but in the same point i want him to bee like man i really messed up so kinda i just wanna show to him how much he really means to me…. and it feels like im not doing it right so what should i do

    he’s also telling my cuz that he confusedabout us he has no idea what he wants to do and i just want to show him who he’s going to miss is right in his way but how?? i really want him to open up too be and like be for real and stop playing head games with me

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  197. CAR99 says:

    Scott,

    I was with my boyfriend for 7years. when we got together I was till young and had growing up to do. As a result, I cheated on him a few times and got caught. He broke up with me. I left him alone afterwards for a few months and we started back hanging out. he was still telling me he loved me but wasnt ready to trust me with his heart. So, we went our seperate ways again and I started talking to someone else. after a while he decides to tel me he was ready but he understood I was talking to this new person and he would respect it yet he would still send messages like he misses me, loves me, thinks about me all the time etc….Now he says to me he is seriously pursuing someone else and he thinks he may love her. I asked if he still loved me his response was he couldnt answer the question. He says he still wnats us to be friends….I still love this man what should I do? Is it too late or do I still have hope? I’ve decided to not conatct him for a while

    Sorry for the misspellings. One mre thing, just in March he said if I asked him he would take me back but he understood my situation. He said if the new guy turns out to not be what I want or if he is not what I want, I know where to find him. We had a spat a little after this and he said I pissed him off so bad that at that point he felt he couldn’t be in a relationship with me. That makes no sense and now he says he’s falling for this new chick like he did with me. What do I do? I love him sooo much. Is it a wrap for me?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It takes a while for people to begin to trust again after being cheated on.

      If you want to reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you must use the no contact rule correctly.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  198. Heather says:

    me and my ex split up 3 weeks ago, i want him back more then anything and he keeps giving me mixed signals and i dont know what to do.

    I went over to his 2 weeks after we split to get my things as he wouldnt speak to me on the phine, we sorted it out so we was friends as he works with my mum in my local pub.
    He asked me to come down the saturday he was working and at first he wouldnt speak and he stayed away from me but then he offered to buy me a drink and we got talking again (small talk).

    He then sang on the karioki and sang love songs and the song i always asked him to sing when we was together.
    He also started jabbing me in the side and rubbing up against me to get past as a joke like when we was together. I sent him a text if he wanted to try again while he was working as i didnt dare ask him verbally. He went out back for a cig (small break) and come back looking really nervous but didnt say anything.

    We still got on and at the end of the night he was calling me bbe again but i dont know if this was accidental as thats what he is use to calling me. when he was going he gave me a cuddle and a kiss on the cheek and said bye bbe, i asked him if he got my text and said yes but he’s not read it yet and will read it on the way home.

    Its now been almost a week and he hasnt got back in touch with me about it but one of his mates said he wants to ask me back out. So is he wanting to get back with me or should i just move on as it has been 3 weeks since we split up

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If you want to reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings use the no contact rule to sort out his “mixed signals”.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get your guy back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      S.W.

  199. kneisha shepherd says:

    my boyfriend told my friend that he don’t want that to happean again in others words he is saying that he do not want us to be back together again. and then he keeps staring me down what does taht supose to mean

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I can not interpret your ex boyfriend’s actions, but you can use the no contact rule to reveal his true intentions.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get your guy back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  200. Sharelle says:

    Almost one year ago me and my ex called off a five year relationship but not just that….we were one month away from being married. I have seen him maybe two or three times since then and he would tell me he wanted to kiss me, etc. He had an interest in being friends but i didn’t see the point in doing so….i wanted to try to move on and do some dating without my “friend” asking if im seeing anyone else or if im sleeping with them. We broke up last July and the last time i saw him was January. He emailed me on father’s dat saying he was lonely and he doesn’t know if we made the right decision breaking up, etc. He was also upset because he is older and does not yet have kids.

    A little background: our relationship was by no means perfect. I caught him talking to multiple women behind my back. At that time i stuck by him and forgave him. The main issues were his inability to handle stress well and the inability to as a grown man nto not make a decision without the help of his parents. I mean a decision about ANYTHING!! Other than those things, he is financially stable, church going, etc.

    Now its months later and he calls me saying he misses me, that noone supports his fishing hobby like i did, tells me he still loves me, still digging for information about if I’m seeing anyone, etc. The huge thing is HE ASKED ME IF I WOULD CONSIDER HAVING HIS CHILD?!?!?!

    Im totally confused…well maybe not confused…just shocked. Kids were a major topic in our relationship and he knows i want kids badly. The thing is i don’t know if he is using that knowledge against me or is he for real. He is great with kids and we are both not getting any younger. Im 26 and he is 34! I don’t know what to do. Im not the same person i was in that relationship, i have dated…lived a little more and i have love for him but am no longer in love with him..

    Should i even be considering this? What does all this mean coming from him?

    Im lost!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It sounds like he is just trying to push the right buttons to get laid.

      I can help you use the no contact rule to reveal his true feelings for you.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  201. Lane says:

    Scott,

    My boyfriend of ten years and I broke up three weeks ago over some complex issues (he has identity issues and the weight of having to consider a partner’s feelings all through it was difficult). We never really did go down the NC route. I know, I know, we should and for about a week after we limited our conversation to quick “how are you?” types of conversation but didn’t really say much to each other. He seemed angry and it started convincing me I deserved better treatment, so I backed off from that point and decided I couldn’t initiate anything. We got mildly heated, put some things out in the open, and from week two on til now, the minute he sees me online, he’s instant messaging me constantly. I never initiate a convo with him, it’s always him. We talk almost as much as we did before we broke up, he’s more open and constantly comes talking to me. Basically, I’m like his girlfriend again only without the added general affection. He knew I didn’t want to break up, probably knows I still love him (and not positive, but thinks he still loves me) and I do want him back but I have no idea what’s going on in his head.

    Before you suggest it – I’m still piecing my life together regardless of what happens with us and told him that no matter what I want, I’ll still move on… But is there any hope here of reconciliation? What’s with the behaviour…should I even try to get him back since I don’t want to scare him away? Advice? I’m confused!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      You’re not confused, you’re scared, and as long as you’re scared of losing him, you will be stuck.

      You have a 50/50 chance of reconciliation.

      I don’t help people just “analyze” their breakups, I help them use the no contact rule to evolve past the break up.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get him back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  202. Sarah says:

    Hi my name is Sarah.

    My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. I was devasted, and I wanted him back.
    He didnt want me back, but he still told me he loved me and cared for me. I did too, and I didnt want to move on.
    He told me he couldnt see us working and that I should try to move on and not wait for him. He was confused.
    4 months later, after he broke up with me I kissed another guy. I wouldnt say I was ready to kiss another guy or I was trying to move on. I just did it because I felt it would boost my confidence, which it did.
    A few days after I kissed the guy, my ex wanted to catch up, he wanted me back.
    We have been together for 3 weeks now, but its eating me up inside, that I kissed another guy and havent told him.
    what do I do?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      What you did during the break up is not his business.

      You were a free person just as he was during the breakup.

      Don’t say anything, and don’t ask him what he did (dating wise) during the break up either, it is really none of your business.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  203. Slee says:

    So my BF said he didn’t see things working out with us three days ago. He’s been calling and texting ever since. His most recent text was asking if I would ever speak to him again. I have not returned any texts or phone calls yet. How should I respond to his most recent question?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I recommend you send the recommended NC message outlined in the free plan, and start your personal evolution.

      If you use the no contact rule correctly you can reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  204. Abigail says:

    Hi! My ex boyfriend and I have been broken up for a while and kept in contact since we’ve been broken up, but now he has a new girlfriend yet still continues to contact me. He’s been texting me alot in the past few days and I don’t understand why?
    thanks!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Who knows why he is contacting you a lot these past few days?

      My question would be to you…

      Why do you keep in contact with your ex boyfriend even though he has a new girlfriend?

      If you are hoping this will help you get him back, you’re wrong.

      You can reveal your ex boyfriend’s trues feelings by “correctly” using the no contact rule.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex lover back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The quickest way to get your man back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  205. mary says:

    Hi,

    I am totally confused, eight years ago I broke up with a guy however we continued to meet out and about and we always spoke. I decided about three years ago that I should move on and I stopped going to the same places. Suddenly about three months ago my ex started turning up at the same places as me again. He comes up and tries to talk to my friend while ignoring me. I feel like hes trying to force me to make the first move as I always did before. Why do you think he is doing this ? I still like him and would like to get back together with him ?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      You broke up 8 years ago, and then after 2 years and 9 months of avoiding places he went to, he finds you again?

      And you don’t think that is a little weird (stalker)?

      I think you both need to get a life, and evolve past whatever it was you had 8 years ago.

      If you use the no contact rule properly you can evolve past the break up.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  206. Sophie says:

    Hi,

    I hope you can help me understand & deal with my situation because i am so confused & dont really know where i stand…

    Me & my (ex)boyfriend had been together for 2 1/2 years and altho we have had alot of problems in our own lifes we have always been there for each other & stuck together, recently we have been arguing more & my grandma suddenly passed away 3 months ago since then i havent payed him as much attention & i think he felt like i needed him rather than wanted him.

    Then two weeks ago i discovered that he had been messaging some random girl on facebook, it started off innocent enough but then he said that she had ‘tempted’ him & he’d never been tempted before, i confronted him & he said he didnt think we should be together anymore but as i was shell shocked i begged for us to work it out & he seemed to go along with it, we went for some food & seemed ok. the next night he stayed at my house, he even came round & let himself in whilst i was out at a work do, the next evening we went for a meal & drinks & openly discussed things & it seemed we were trying to work thru it then the next evening (saturday) he asked me to the cinema & then on the sunday we went for a picnic when he dropped the bombshell again he didnt think he wanted to be with me anymore. We decided to take a week apart & not see each other & at this point i said we shouldnt speak for the week.

    We didnt speak for 2 days & i rang him on the wednesday & then we text abit on the thursday/friday & finally met again on the saturday. Again he said he thought we needed time apart to sort our lifes out & get back to the people we were when we met, he said he wasnt saying it was over for good we just need to find ourselfs again.

    From here we messages abit on the sunday & then had a blazing row over the phone on the sunday with him saying he never wanted to be with me again & didnt care if he ever saw me etc etc etc

    i apologised on the monday & said we shouldnt have talked that day & id just pushed him – he agreed & said the conversation should never of happened & that he was sorry.

    We went out the monday (this week) to play pool & have drinks & again he said we both just needed to change but that he wasnt shutting himself off from the idea of us getting back together.

    He has contacted me by text constantly since then but is however telling people behind my back that we wont ever get back together!!

    where do i stand? do i leave him alone for a while & see if he comes back? i love him & want to work things out.

    Its a very long story i know but i need to explain it all to get your honest oppinion.

    Sophie

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      The reason you are confused is because you are pushing your ex boyfriend until you get a “semi-positive” response from him.

      His mouth says one thing, but his actions say another, and that’s confusing, right?

      He feels he has to “give you something” or you won’t stop pressing him for answers.

      Stop chasing him.

      It doesn’t matter why this break up happened (at this time), what matters is that you calmly except it, and evolve past the break up and get your life back again.

      Using the no contact rule “correctly” can help get your life back again.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get him back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  207. Tabatha says:

    My ex boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me approximately a year ago. His response at that time was because I had a dead-end job and that I have a kid and still found time to hang out. But when we still planned to go to Mexico together alone he told me the real reason he broke up with me was he thought I was cheating on him and that I was a black-hispanic. Over the course of time up to now, He introduced me to the girl he left me for, ended up breaking up with her after 3 months. Introduced me to another girl, broke up with her after 3 months. I saw him at a bar I would least expect him to be at, and we ended up hooking up that night. The next day I text him explaining to him at what we did should’ve never went that far, and it was a mistake on my behalf of not stopping it when I could. Then a week later he introduced me to another girl he met and has recently broken up with her after 6 months. We hung out for a night with the guy that hooked us up originally at our usual bar a couple of months ago. He called me numerous times one night to come and hang out with him and some of his buddies, and I turned down the offer. But in July I sent him a friendly text wishing him a happy birthday and instead of him replying back with a simple “thank you” he ended up calling me, asking me if I had spoken to a mutual friend of ours (which happens to be the guy that originally hooked us up).
    I’m just confused of what’s going on. I haven’t told him how I felt about him, or how much I missed him, although i would like to.
    A part of me tells me that he still have feelings for me but a part of me says he’s just leading me on. Please help and stir me in the right direction of what should I do, or what going on with our situation. I truly would love to have him back.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I would listen to the part of you that feels “he’s just leading me on”.

      It sure sounds like he is only looking for a friends with benefits situation.

      You can use the no contact rule to reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  208. Maria O. says:

    Ok well first of all I have been in a long distance relationship for 1 year and 2 months I honestly fell in love with him and when we broke up recently he yelled at me telling me its over and saying he doesnt love me even though he was the one that first fell in love with me and im just curious because the day before yesterday he kept saying he doesnt want me ever to look for him and that he’s never going to come visit me even though I never even mentioned that so we said our goodbyes and then he texted me saying he was curious of sone things and I answered them so I said goodbye again and again he texted me asking me another question but this time he said he didnt kniw why he was so curious so I answered him again and said goodbye and we havent had contact since then but I keep getting private calls and im wondering if its him because I still love him and we had planned a future together I truly love him ad I need some advice

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      His actions don’t seem to be matching his words, but nonetheless he broke up with you, and you have to deal with that, right?

      It doesn’t matter how much you love someone, if they do not love you back.

      You can reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you by correctly using the no contact rule.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  209. Witch says:

    Hi.
    I fell in love with a man I met online. He is from another country. So it was LDR. Both our marriages are on the rocks. We fell in love quick and strong. We were soul mates and we really clicked a lot. We decided to meet outside my country and then another meeting within my country-in a place away from my city. We talked on the phone for two to three hours a day and exchange emails like 30-50 a day. We never get tired of talking and laughing.
    Anyway, 9 days before our meeting, his wife attempted suicide because of her emotional dependence on him- they had a big fight then. He panicked and blamed himself. He was full of guilt that he canceled all our trips. But the day before, we were assuring each other how much we love each other and planned that someday, we might live together, end up in each others’ arms. The incident erased all those happy moments. His guilt has taken its toll to our relationship. He said I need to go because he can’t be committed anymore-the guilt and shame pushed him away from me. However, I said I would stay. He didn’t reply. After 4 days, he replied and said we should be happy again because we belong to each other. We were back on track and to the usual communication. But then after 5 days, he sent me a shocking email saying he is still guilty and ‘for now’ couldn’t have a relationship with me or anybody else. And said he is not the one for me. I cried and was really hurt. We had dreams together and we really love each other. I was crashed. I still think of him everyday. I miss him and I do love him. I have decided not to reply to his email. It has been 3 weeks now.
    Do you think NC message is still applicable in our situation? I know he loves me but he had to let me go because that horrible thing his wife did.
    I appreciate your reply.
    And before I forget, he said he is emotionally unstable and emotionally immature. I didn’t know how to react.

    Thank you.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It sounds like you’re involved with a married man, not a wise choice.

      Then you go on to say that he admits being emotionally unstable and immature.

      Wow, what a catch!

      As if that wasn’t enough, he has a suicidal wife…Damn!

      My advice is to stay away from this man and his wife, and get your own life back again.

      People who aren’t afraid to hurt themselves have little problem hurting others…namely you.

      Learn from your mistakes, and stay away from married men, it can only lead to trouble.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  210. Witch says:

    Thank you, Scott.

    I was planning to send the NC but I am sure it is no use.

    Have a nice day!

    Hi, Scott.

    Another thing: Is it okay just to send the NC and won’t communicate anymore? My purpose is just to make him think.
    I don’t intend to follow up on the NC- just send and that’s it. End of it all.
    Please advise.

    Thank you again!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      The free plan is about getting your life back, not your ex boyfriend.

      You do not have to reconnect, but don’t edit the NC message.

      Leave the entire message intact, it is more powerful that way…trust me.

      If you want help using the no contact rule to survive a break up and get your life back, follow the free plan.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  211. Witch says:

    Thanks, Scott!
    You are a big help!

  212. Witch says:

    Hi, Scott.

    I sent the NC message last night.
    What do you think he might think about it? Given our situation and the circumstances that we had. Do you think it still has an impact on him? Do think the NC message will make him think? I am just wondering.
    Thanks in advance for your reply.

  213. Witch says:

    Thank you, Scott.
    I hope you’ll never get tired of me. :)
    Maybe in the coming days I will write to you again.

    Take care, too.

  214. Klynn says:

    Hey Scott,

    My boyfriend of 2 years just recently broke up with me. He told me he was unsure of his feelings for me which hurt me so much. We decided to take a weeks break for him to decide what he wants. However, during this break he has called me once. The conversation was light and when I asked him the reason for his call, all he said was that he felt like calling. The week ends tomorrow and I don’t know what he’ll tell me. Was there a reason he called? Is this some sign that he still loves me? He told me he cares and that he misses me but I’m afraid it is only on a friend level. Is there anything I can do to get him back? What can I do if he only wants us to be friends?

    Thanks in advance for your reply. I hope everything will be ok.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      If you feel like your headed for the “Just Friends Zone” you are probably right.

      Your best bet is to use the no contact rule to reveal his actual feelings for you, and get him to make a decision.

      If you don’t he might not make one for a long time and you will be stuck in relationship limbo.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  215. Marie says:

    Hi, Scott.

    Is one week too short to break the NC?

    Thanks in advance.

    My ex replied to my NC message one week ago and I am tempted to reply since his message was warm.

    I didn’t reply but I miss him and I wanted to write back.
    What do you think?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      The no contact rule takes a lot longer than one week to work properly.

      Stick to NC, do not reply.

      He is only trying to get you to break no contact so he can verify that you are waiting for him, and then he will stop contacting you.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  216. debra roman says:

    Hi, I used the no contact rule with my ex. He broke up with me actually he asked me to stay with him although he is with another woman. We were together for about 10 years.Yesterday he hi how are you hope all is well after I asked him to stay out my life.I texted “same ole same ole line what do you want?” he responds.”I want you to wish me the best in life and be by my side when u can”. What? Is he asking me to support him or be his side piece in this message. I texted back “I wish you the best in life and I wont be by your side its boring as hell and a comlete waste of time Get the picture ok bye” He then says “Thank you enjoy your day”Scott he recently discussed opening a liquor store I didnt agre but its his business.he thinks I look down on him because he works as a clerk in a liquor store for 8 years now he can finally be an owner. What does he want? We have a son.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It sounds like he wants to keep you in relationship limbo.

      If you correctly use the no contact rule you will reveal his true feelings for you, and get him off your back at the same time.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  217. Penny says:

    I need some help. My boyfriend and I split after about 3 years together. Not intentionally, he met someone a few months ago. I realized how much I love him and missed him and contacted him. We have hung out, he comes over, texts & emails me. He told me he still loves me. Because of our communication issues in the past, he holds back. We have since talked things out regarding this. He tells me is is “having fun” with this other person. He still cares and loves me. What does this tell you? I still love him so very much and want him back in my life.

    • S. Williams says:

      HI,

      Don’t listen to his “words”, follow his actions.

      If someone truly loves you, they don’t hold off to have “fun” with someone else, he is just keeping you as a back up plan when he gets tired of having “fun” with this other girl.

      That tells me he doesn’t respect you at all, and without respect there is no chance for love.

      You can use the no contact rule to reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you, and to get your life back.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  218. Faith says:

    Hi,

    my ex dropped me a line, 2 months after breaking up he kept asking how I was, what was new, how have I been. I said I was great. He then a week later asked if I had a bf and kept asking and asking I said no I didn’t eventually. Then he asked what I have been doing with my time. I said lol a lot of stuff. and he never answered. Am I just an ego boost then and he is not coming back?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Obviously you did not use the no contact rule correctly.

      How can I tell?

      Your ex boyfriend thinks you are just waiting around for him, and he just checked to see if it was true, and you confirmed his suspicions.

      Why should he worry about coming back if you are still “on the hook”?

      You need to use the no contact rule correctly to evolve past the break up, and reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

      • Faith says:

        is it just because i said I didn’t have a bf? or dating anyone. i said i was great and a lot of stuff is going on with me cause they are. i don’t know how that reads im still on the hook. the only thing is i dont have a bf. i ignored his texts at the start took hours and days to respond. he left me he asked what i have been doing and i said a lot of stuff. and i am doing great.

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          It was everything you did, and didn’t do…like using the no contact rule correctly.

          I gave you the best advice in my previous reply, either use it, or continue to dwell in relationship limbo.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

          • Faith says:

            Ok so I will tell him what is going on to develop the post breakup further. I’m just wondering since he hasn’t texted me.. how do I do that? Do I text him four days later and just tell him all the stuff. Or do I go back into no contact and wait for him to contact me again.

            • S. Williams says:

              Hi,

              Just read the free plan and send the recommended NC message as outlined in the plan, and then follow all the rest of the steps.

              You don’t tell him anything.

              The NC message will say everything that needs to be said.

              Simple enough?

              Thank you for writing.

              Take Care,

              S.W.

  219. Lucy says:

    My ex bf has contacted me recently twice. He wanted to to be friends after the break up but I said no. And has now contacted me 3 months after the relationship ended saing he wanted to see how I was, what I was doing and if anything was new. He then asked if I had a bf. I talked to him a bit , but ignored his last text. From your blog above.. does this mean he is wanting to get back in a relationship or is he really just wanting to be friends? When he asked if I had a bf he wasn’t nice about it he said ” you have a new bf now” huh? and then kept asking.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It seems like he is just checking to see if you’re available, why?

      Because it would look like you are waiting around for him.

      If you had used the no contact rule correctly as outlined in the free plan, he would not assume that you would be waiting around for him.

      He thinks the reason you haven’t been talking with him is to punish him for breaking up.

      Apparently he is checking to see if you moved on (dating), or if you’re now open to being friends again (after you had time to cool off), which he will no doubt try to evolve into “friends with benefits”.

      If you want to avoid the FWB zone, and reveal your ex boyfriend’s true feelings for you, you need to use the no contact rule correctly.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

      • Lucy says:

        ok well I started one contact on my own since the break up and after talked to me. But Ignored his text. Should I just go back in NC then. I don’t really want to be friends. I did say I didn’t have a bf. Hope I didn’t ruin much there. We just talked for a bit and then Ignored his last message to me.

        I’ll just stop talking to him again. Would one contact from me, be enough to assume FWB or just friends?

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          I didn’t say he assumed you wanted to be FWB’s.

          I said that is what trying to stay friends with him will “probably” lead to.

          You will have sex with him just to keep his attention, and it won’t work, it will backfire on you…it always does.

          Don’t attempt NC on your own, follow the free plan.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  220. Stacy says:

    I was reading your blog and your free plan. My ex and I have been talking slowly just about general things maybe once a week tops? But he added me on facebook after I removed him 2 months ago ( since I have been in NC since then.)

    Is it best to not add him or add him. I don’t want to be in the friend zone.. or is this a sign of interest from him.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      It doesn’t sound like you have been following the free plan, and you just stopped communicating with your ex which is not the correct way to apply the no contact rule.

      Since you haven’t been using NC correctly, neither you, or your ex, has had the chance to effectively evolve past the break up.

      It sounds like you’re attempting to reconnect (incorrectly) with your ex after 2 months of not talking.

      I suggest you refer to the last stage of the free plan for guidance on reconnecting, and if the reconnection fails I would advise you to start NC over by following ALL the steps in the free plan.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  221. Mars says:

    HI, Scott.
    My bf broke up with me three weeks ago. I sent him an email of apology. He didn’t reply. I haven’t heard of him again. So after three weeks, I decided to send an email similar to NC but it was more on deflating his ego- something like I agreed with the break up, I am moving on, he didn’t have to reply and forgive me, there are good things happening in my life..I thanked him for good times, and happy memories.
    I just sent it today. Do you think it will have an effect on him?
    Thank you, Scott.

    • S. Williams says:

      Mars said:

      I decided to send an email similar to NC but it was more on deflating his ego Do you think it will have an effect on him?

      Hi,

      No, I don’t, and here’s why?

      Your message sounds like it was designed to hurt your ex, and that will be expected. He hurt you, so you will want revenge…typical.

      The recommended NC message doesn’t do that, and that is why it works so well.

      You can use the no contact rule to evolve past the breakup, and get your life back.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  222. Mars says:

    Thanks, Scott. Question again: If I go NC for like 4-5 months, is it okay? How will he view if I send him a birthday greeting on his birthday if we don’t contact each other anymore? Do you think is it just okay to greet him? Or totally not contact for 5 months?
    Thank you again.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I would plan on (at least) 12 months of no contact for the best results.

      I would not break NC by sending a birthday greeting, reconnection is covered in the last stage of the free plan.

      If you want a fresh start with your ex, or anyone else in the future, you have to stick to the no contact rule long enough for it to work it’s magic.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  223. Mars says:

    Okay. Thank you, Scott. I will follow what you said.
    Take care, too.

  224. Linda says:

    Dear Scott

    Last December I met a guy that was literally the man of my dreams (physically) and who behaved as I have always wanted to be treated. I couldn’t believe myself that  someone like that existed. However, we broke up at the beginning of this month and the story went from fairy tale to HORROR in a matter of 2 weeks. This is my break up story bellow….

     My ex and I broke up on March 5th after two and an half months of relationship. He introduced himself by stating that he was looking for a serious relationship and that if I wanted a fling, we could leave things just there.  He was prince charming in every sense, and after introducing me to the whole family over Christmas and insisting in moving in together and telling his family our plans and showing them the apartments we had visited, he changed his mind and a week Later our relationship was over.
    The reasons for the break up were literally: “It is not you, it is me”, “I can’t pin point exactly what it is but there is something inside of me that tells me that we are not meant to be together”. The same day, he texted me “by mistake” message to someone else, asking the recipient of the text how soon was too soon to let another girl know that our relationship was over.
    I was devastated; the person that I had always dreamed of was leaving me, without any real reason and now was cheating on me.
    I decided not to contact him for a few days to give him time and space to think, and after a week he texted me to ask if i had changed phone numbers.  The following day he texted me a very emotionless and rude message asking me to pay him back for a prescription medication that he bought for me and a pair of boots that he bought for me. That day, I decided to call him and ask him not to hurt, mistreat or attack me, because I didn’t want to have an argument with him. I agreed to pay him back and told him how important he was to me and that I was leaving the door open to a new beginning with him in the future but that I needed time for myself, to heal.
    Again, no contact on my side, and on March 22 he texted me to let me know that he had told his boss that we broke up (his boss introduced us) and that he had made public our break up. I already knew he broke up with me since day one, so I didn’t understand the purpose of sending me 5 times the same text, and an extra text saying that he didn’t want to be rude just to inform me of what he did. On my side, there was no reply to any of the 6 messages.

    The following day, I was fired from work and the decision was related to the fact that my ex and I were no longer (we worked for the same company), and my boss arranged a “good package” to get rid of me as soon as possible. 

    That night my ex called me to ask what happened. We spoke for a good hour, and he kept giving me advices that included leaving the city, the province and even the country. He offered to help me financially if I needed money to go for job interviews in another city and suggested that I contact my congressman to work as volunteer.

    Devastated even more, I told him that I missed him that I was very affected by our break up, and that he was important to me. Then, he told me to be happy with someone else, that he missed me, that he had feelings for me but that he felt that we are not meant to be together and that he doesn’t see how we could rebuild what we had when we met. I then decided to cut the conversation in a polite way and told him that I was not going to contact him in a while because I needed time to forget him. He was ok about it.

     After that conversation, I realized that communication between us was impossible, because no matter what I said, he was rude and arrogant to me, and I needed to make sure he was not going to text me again next week with some other crazy thing. So two days later, I sent him the no contact message:

    Hi, good morning! You are right. I agree with your decision to break up. I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some decisions to make and need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate if you didn’t contact me during this time, I will be in touch with you when I’m ready.Linda

    Five hours later he replied: Sounds good and good luck!

    I don’t know why but I felt some relief when I got his reply. At this point I don’t know if the NC message touched his ego, or was indifferent to him but I am pretty serious and committed to not contacting him in a while.

     

    Now, that my relationship is over, I have no job, I lost 12 pounds, and 3 weeks of sleep, and I am about to lose my semester at school too, I am trying to gain myself back; and I am my biggest priority now.

     

    At this point, and after his texts, and behavior I am not sure I want him back. I loved the man he showed during the first month, but I totally dislike the selfish, arrogant, and rude person he became with me.
    However, I am still very sad because he made me open up myself to my dream of my own family and made me get attached to his family and It breaks my heart to realize that none of our plans will actually come true.
    I have kept a diary since day one (March 5) and I started counting the days again since I sent the NC message on March 22.
    I don’t know what will happen in the future, nor if there is a future for us; all I know is that I need to recover and forgive myself and cheer up myself, because I was way to painful and costly.
    Today is day 13 of NC and although I wish prince charming and I were still together, I don’t feel the need or anxiety to call or contact him again. I am regaining my appetite and my friends from school are helping me cope with the situation, apply for jobs and pass my classes. However he texted me again today to inform that my ex boss was fired and offering his help to me. This time I didn’t reply.

    I have started to apply for jobs in another province and I am looking forward to move as soon as I find something. 
    I am also planing to join the break up forum and continue working on my self as long as necessary. I need to heal, forgive myself, forgive him for being an asshole and be emotionally independent from anyone. 
    Now, I would love to have your opinion, advice and guidance on this situation. 
    Thank you for your support

    Linda

    • S. Williams says:

      Linda said:

      I would love to have your opinion, advice and guidance on this situation.

      Hi,

      You did everything right, except adding “Good Morning” to your NC message, it would have been better to have just written “Hi” and left it at that.

      The more emotionless the no contact message is, the better.

      I would suggest that you join our forum (after reading the forum guidelines), and get a forum buddy for more support.

      Losing your job and getting dumped might seem bad at the moment, but it sounds like you got rid of two assholes in one shot, and with your ex, and your old boss out of the way, the universe can deliver you much better options.

      Make sure you take a look at The Law of Attraction and Relationships topic on our forum as well.

      Keep up the good work, and…

      Stay Strong and Positive!

      S.W.

      • Linda says:

        Wow Thank you for the prompt response.
        It means a lot to me!

        I just have a final question:
        Why does he keep texting me once every 7 to 10 days for random reasons?
        Text and week 1: asking if I changed phone numbers
        Text 2, week 1: asking me to pay him back
        Text 3, following to our phone conversation after text 2: saying that no matter what happened between us, he was happy to talk to me and sn outraging qto regain my life back and think of ME
        Text 4, week 3: informing me that he spoke to his boss and made our break up public.
        Text 5, week 4 (today): excusing himself for not respe ring my last message (my NC text) and informing me about my ex boss and hoping I was doing good and offering help.

        Does he want me back?

        I won’t go back now, I still have a lot to work on besides finding a job, but I don’t understand what does he want?

        Any idea from the man and expert’s point of view?

        I will join the forum as adviced

        Thank u again

        • S. Williams says:

          Linda said:

          but I don’t understand what does he want?

          Hi,

          Does it really matter what he wants?

          No, then why waste brain cycles on it?

          People usually second guess themselves, and feel guilty after they dump someone.

          Or he wants to keep you on the hook until he finds someone else…just in case.

          Do you want to be ‘plan B’?

          Plus, once you regain power over the break up by sending the no contact message, he wants to get ‘the power’ back by getting you to break your own no contact request.

          He dumped you, and you need to figure out what YOU want, don’t worry about what he is thinking or doing.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

  225. kasey says:

    after a period of nc, then lc, i’m am back in regular contact with my ex. we see each other often…once or twice a week. he’s shown me several signs that he still cares about me…anger, jealousy, protectiveness, affection…and i just try to keep my cool and not question him about it (too much). but we just don’t seem to be moving ahead or making progress. should i go back to NC or would that be a mistake at this time?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      I don’t think you ever used the no contact rule correctly, so unless you like where you are now the ‘just friends’ zone, I highly suggest you start using it again, but this time use it correctly.

      The no contact rule takes a lot more time to work than most people think, much more than 30 days, more like 9-12 months…closer to 12.

      The trouble is most people are afraid to use it long enough because they fear it will make their ex leave them forever, and this reveals their obsession (not love affair) with their ex.

      The harder you try to get your ex back, the farther they push him (your ex boyfriend) away by neglecting yourself.

      If you are obsessed with getting your ex back, and ‘need them’ to be happy, you are showing this person (your ex) that you are essentially ‘incomplete’.

      An obsessed, incomplete, and needy person is not very attractive, to anyone, including your ex boyfriend.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

      • Tammy Yu says:

        Hi

        I had a relationship with him for 10 years. In the beginning I told myself not to start off with him because he is a married man. All of our friends included myself knows he was badly neglected by his wife..and with his non-stop going after me..we started at 2002. Only recently March this year, he wanted a call off our relationship with reason saying he cannot give me any happiness. He cannot leave his wife as he feels that he still ve the responsible to take care of her even he has lost feeling towards her.

        I accepted his decision but was tough for me. I cried everyday..with memories of how we went thru the past 10 years. I was with him thru up when he was at his down time over his career..when he was very sick admitted to hospital..etc..

        Its been months since he wanted to break up. We didnt contact each other until last week i received his missed call with a follow text saying he accidentally dial up my number at hospital. His mum was admitted there. After the text, he didnt call me anymore.

        I was very lost without him since day he wanted us thru. I just wanna know does he miss me too? Afterall it was a 10 years relationhsip. Will he call me one day to date me out again? My birthday is coming two weeks time. Will he ask me out on my birthday? And if he does, does that mean he is care for me? And if he doesnt, what should i do?

        Lost…..

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi,

          You probably do not want to hear this, but it is the truth.

          It was an affair, you can’t have a real relationship with someone who is married.

          How can you trust someone who would disrespect his wife and cheat on her?

          I would not worry about if he ‘misses you’ or not.

          He is a married man, and he made his decision about your affair, and you should respect that, and move on.

          If you use the no contact rule correctly, you can evolve past this breakup.

          I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their married ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

          Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

          Thank you for writing.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

          IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  226. TWEETY says:

    Hi, After 6 months of NC, he sent me an email asking if I am ok. He wrote to me just like nothing happened. Should I answer? “I am fine, thank you.” as just short and simple reply?

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      His attempt to contact you shows he is ‘starting to evolve’ past the breakup.

      If you are following the free plan correctly, you sent the recommended no contact message that states YOU will be in touch when YOU are ready.

      He is obviously ignoring your request, and just wants to see if you are still ‘on the hook’ after the break up.

      I recommend that you do not reply, and continue to follow the no contact rule for another 6 months before deciding what to do.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      • TWEETY says:

        Yes, you are right. I did follow the rule really correctly and have not contacted to him at all. It has been 1 month after he sent me the email. His friends saw me and I mentioned there is some man around me, so I think now he got scared of losing me. That is why he sent me this emai. I will not reply till I lose the resentment completely.

  227. Ellen says:

    Hi, Scott.

    My boyfriend broke up with me after a very wonderful time together for 5 days. After the holiday, he said he noticed that we were not compatible, not right for each other, not meant as a long-term couple. That holiday was perfect for me. But I didn’t know it wasn’t for him as he had observed my attitude and all.
    He then went cold and dropped the bomb that we should part ways. I asked him why and he didn’t tell me. No clear reasons at all.
    I was hurt. But I didn’t beg and plead and cry.
    It has been one month and 3 weeks. Three weeks of no contact- nothing. He said in his last email that he still has strong feelings for me and will always have strong feelings for our weekends/time together. Ended it with ” you are in my thoughts forever.xoxoxox’.
    I am so confused and was really devastated those early days of the split.
    Now, I am already clear headed, no more negative emotions and I am sure that I want him back. I sent the NC message. But his birthday is in August. Should I greet him? How long should the NC be? I always fight the urge to email or text him and is successful so far.
    How should I do to get him back?

    Thank you, Scott.

    Take care!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Good job on sending the NC message from the free plan, it was a wise move.

      Do not contact him on his birthday, you should wait at least 6-12 months before considering to break NC, 12 months works the best in most cases.

      If he is truly in love with you, he will wait, if not, you don’t want him anyways.

      Who wants someone that doesn’t love them back? Are you “that” desperate? I don’t think so.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      PS – You might find this video presentation on why men pull away (click here) very helpful in understanding (the emotional reasoning behind) why your boyfriend broke up with you.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

      • Ellen says:

        Thanks, Scott.
        Will 6-12 months of NC somehow change his mind and recall our beautiful love and wonderful memories together? Will it make him realize my value in his life? Will it not make him forget me? Sorry for many questions.
        Thank you once more!
        Take care!

  228. Kate says:

    Hi Scott,

    My boyfriend and I were together for 6 years but we spent the last 3 years in a long distance relationship. We hardly see/talk to each other except over texts. He decided to call it quits earlier this year and he said it was due to me always heading out to clubs with my friends. He also has the perception that I am materialistic just because I was hanging out with a group of girls who are always hanging out with the rich boys. In a nutshell, his perception of me is warped and regardless of how i tired to explain, he still put me in a pigeon hole and told me I have become someone he cant see sharing our lives together.

    However, he wants to remain friends and would occasionally drop me a text asking me how am I. I made the mistake of telling him I was upset and miserable over our breakup amidst other problems I am facing as I just lost my job and am having some sort of quarter life crisis, trying to find some direction in my life. He said he would be there for me and I could speak to him whenever I am depressed. (altho he knows he is part of the reason for my misery) Recently, I bumped into him at a gathering and one of his friends started talking to me. He got really mad and said why would I talk to someone he doesn’t like (I didnt know that) and even asked me to get lost as I have made him ‘lose face’ and it is so typical of me to talk to guys. Prior to that he told the guy he didn’t like that i was his ex-gf.

    He did apologise after the outburst and I tried to find out if there was any chance we could get back together. I told him i still love him but he replied that he still cares for me. But nothing about ‘love’. And when I pressed on to ask if we could start dating again with no commitments, he just reply to say we could still hang out whenever he is back in town and take it from there. So what does it mean? Does he really just want to be friends? What should I do? I am afraid if I were to use the NC rule, he might really disappear from my life if he really just want to be friends. Please please advise!

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi,

      Using the no contact rule correctly will not make someone “disappear”.

      You can’t make them disappear because they are already gone.

      Actions speak louder than words…remember that.

      You are just agreeing with the break up, and asking to be left alone until you want to make contact again.

      Your fears are ungrounded, and you’re just being paranoid.

      This fear will only keep you trapped, and miserable.

      Set yourself free with the free plan, and the no contact rule.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  229. Ashley Goss says:

    Dear Scott,
    you see my ex now has moved back to West Point where he came from.. We dated 3 times. But just a few days ago he texted me… Before he moved i said some VERY bad things about his dad that passed away last year.. He told me He hated me and that he can garantee that we will never get back together… But i couple days ago he texted me… He asked me ti send bad pictures to him and he would forgive me. I didn’t know what to do.. He has a girlfriend and he still asked me to send and talk bad to him. I think has become a huge jerk! I love him to death though and I’m also in love with someone else. I don’t think he wants me back but i still don’t know what to do.. I’m lost. I know you probably won’t answer all this but i really need someone to talk too. Should i stop texting and talking to him or should i keep talking toi him and hope for the best? Please help..
    - Ashley Goss.

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi Ashley,

      I would forget about him, and move on with your life – anyone who requests naked pictures from another woman while he is dating someone else…is a loser.

      Just be thankful you only wasted 3 dates on this asshole.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  230. shelly says:

    iv been with my boyfriend for 7 months and a couple off days ago he wanted me too meet him at a pub but iv started a new job and I work 12 hour shifts and was really tired I wasn’t in the mood too go anywhere so he txt me back asking I he could come to mine he then said let me guess your too tired I went well I did say that but I know you wont be happy with me he then he txt back forget it I went don’t be like that im not arguing so in the morning I txt him I said we need too talk he txt bk we will chat later so last night he txt me asking what I wanted too talk about I went us he text back saying don’t you think we should move on I went no and sent anther txt but not heard anything back from him what should I do I love him so much

    • S. Williams says:

      Hi Shelly,

      Have you broken up before?

      If not, just give him a few days, and let him contact you, and then set up a date to talk about what is going on in your relationship (don’t do it over the phone or by text) – if he refuses, use the no contact rule to help yourself move on from this pointless relationship that is going nowhere.

      If you have broken up before, then this time do it right, and use the no contact rule to evolve past the breakup and get your life back – it really doesn’t matter how much you love someone, what matters is that they are a good fit – meaning they are willing to talk things out, compromise, and grow with the relationship – not just always get their own way.

      I help people get over a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Make a commitment to yourself to stay in no contact for at least 12 months, and do not focus on getting your ex back – let your ex go.

      Your main focus is to break your dependency on your old relationship (and your ex) for happiness, and reestablish your life as a Happy Healthy single person.

      This is much more important than getting your ex back, and in 12 months you will realize what I’m saying is true.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to get over a broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1″ rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

      • shelly says:

        no we haven’t broken up before but every time we have a argument over something petty or hes not getting his own way he always says I don’t think this is working I just don’t understand him and thankyou for your help

        • S. Williams says:

          Hi Shelly,

          You’re welcome! :-)

          Like I said, if you can’t talk to him about your relationship, then the relationship is dead – time to move on using the no contact rule, the right way, as outlined in the free plan.

          There are plenty of nice guys out there, don’t waste your time trying to change this guy, go find a guy that already wants what you want – you will be A LOT happier.

          Take Care,

          S.W.

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