Does Your Ex Want You Back?

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Can I Win My Ex Back Even If I Broke The No Contact Rule?

If You Broke No Contact Just Start Over Again and Win Back Your Ex


If you have broken the no contact rule you’re not alone, and, yes…

You can still win your ex back.

If you want to learn how to get your ex back just keep on reading.

Everyone is just so afraid of the no contact rule.

What if it doesn’t work?

Will it only make things worst?

Can I win my ex back even if I broke the no contact rule?

Put on your work gloves because it’s myth busting time, and, time for you to learn “How to get your ex back.”



Oh Oh I Broke The No Contact Rule – Can I Win My Ex Boyfriend Back?


Sorry, you can never use the no contact rule again if you break it…Not!

This is the beauty of using the no contact rule, if you screw it up just tell yourself; “Hey, I can just start over and get my ex boyfriend/girlfriend back.”

It is really that simple just keep the faith, and learn from your mistakes, and start all over again.

You are bound to get your ex back if you never give up…Right?

I hope you are following some kind of plan, and getting some guidance as you use the no contact rule to win back your ex.

If you want a serious answer to the question; “Can I win my ex back using the no contact rule?”

You have to get serious yourself, serious about the no contact rule, and serious enough to find, and follow a good plan.

Winning back your ex is possible no matter how many mistakes you make, but do you want to wait forever to get back your ex?

Please go get a good plan and go get your ex boyfriend/girlfriend back…I want you to be happy again.



How Do I Know How Bad I Broke It?

If It’s Bad Can I Still Win My Ex Girlfriend Back?


Unless you broke the no contact rule over your ex girlfriend’s, or boyfriend’s head, you are still in the game to win back your ex.

If you did some drunk dialing I would suggest never doing that again.

You never know what drunk guy/gal is going to say, and you probably won’t remember either.

It is hard to follow a plan when your drunk so lay off the booze until you get your emotions under control…OK?

There is really no mistake that time will not heal…the key word being time, you have to be patient.

Using the no contact plan requires patience, and emotional control along with a good plan, and guidance.

If you’re thinking; “I can win my ex back getting advice from the heartache forums.” You are in for a long wait to win back your ex.

I have been to those forums, and have been kicked out…Why?

Because they do not want to solve any problems there, just blow smoke, and sell you stuff.

I saw an ad in one for a book about “Blow Jobs.”

Yeah, that book will help you get your ex back fast…Not!

My point being if you really want to succeed, and win back your ex using the no contact rule.

You need a good plan, and one that is backed up with support as you go through the process.



Get Help With The No Contact Rule, And, You Can Get Your Ex Back


Why would anyone do this?

I mean, do you really think by randomly getting advice from friends, family, and co-workers, that you are going to succeed?

You need a plan, a plan that works, and you need it now.

If you use a good plan with the no contact rule you will be able to tell yourself “I can win back my ex!”

If you have any comments, or questions for me, please write them in the comment box below, and I will answer them ASAP!

What can I do to help you, get back together with your ex?

What are you willing to do to win your ex back?



Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?


My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008 to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back.

I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read.

I know the address of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I “really” teach people how to get their lives back, not just their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free breakup survival plan, and start getting your life back today.

The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.

Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise.

If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.

If this article was useful or helpful to you in any way, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.


Add a Comment
  1. Hi, I would love some advice.

    We broke up after over four years together, after taking a no contact break for a week to figure out if it was the right thing. I then and still truly believe it was an emotional mistake.
    We had our issues and lack of communication during our relationship for sure. We both had our own mental issues that we need to work on. We were still very much in love and through the break up said many times how we love and care about each other.
    I spent the last week in our shared rental packing while he stayed with a friend. We were in contact the whole time, and have shared brief messages in the couple days since I fully moved out. Messages were both casual and serious. Only once negative, but was quickly resolved.
    He seems to have made up his mind, but I still feel we are good together. We’ve both started new jobs this year (for the first time on forever for both of us) and it’s been very stressful for many reasons outside of our relationship.
    I am definitely ready to spend some time apart to think and reflect etc, and definitely don’t think we could make it work without doing that first.
    I just want to know if there’s a chance we could make it work after some time apart, if it’s too late to initiate no contact, if I should just try to move on completely.

    1. Hi Marie,

      Sorry to hear about your breakup, but, not all seemingly bad things, are really bad.

      They happen for a reason, and the reason is usually growth.

      This is an opportunity, really.

      Using the no contact rule correctly is never a bad thing, it just helps keep either person from making things worse.

      The old relationship has already ended, there is nothing to save. Now it’s time for your connection to either mature to the next level, or fade away.

      You see, even though the relationship has officially ended, the connection between you and your ex, has not.


      Can this connection withstand (survive) the growth that is necessary to begin another new relationship, together?

      Only time will tell, and that is what NC gives you (both), time to grow and either become closer, or farther apart.

      Being together with your ex will not matter, this is something each of you have to determine for yourselves.

      You cannot convince someone what is best for them, they have to discover that for themselves.

      Using the no contact rule as outlined in the free breakup survival plan, is your best choice, right now.

      It is not too late to initiate NC, and you should do it right away.

      We had our issues and lack of communication during our relationship for sure.

      During your no contact period it would be wise to address these problems, for yourself.

      You can learn Advanced Relational Skills, these skills will greatly improve your chances of reconnecting with your ex.

      Here’s what you need to do:

      1. Go read the free breakup survival plan
      2. Using the directions in the free plan, write and send your NC message ASAP!
      3. Learn Advanced Relational Skills while you’re in NC to greatly improve your chances of reconnecting with your ex.

      The free plan will guide you through the whole No Contact process.

      Take Care,


  2. Hi,
    My ex girlfriend is 19 I am 26, and we were happy and she lived with me. We have only been together for 5 months. She had left one time before but only 3 days. And came right back. We haven’t cheated lied or anything. She contacted me to get her things I had brought them dropped them off and left did not text her back, two days later she had texted me from a friends Facebook saying she needed her id and medical card and she still has things missing. I told her I don’t hve her I’d but her medical card is in the car and I didn’t notice a hamper in the bathroom. She told me how much she hated me, and regretted everything with us that she just wants her things so I’ll get out of her life for good and told me I was a piece of shit, and the relationship basically was terrible. I calmed asked the address to the place and dropped the things outside. She sent me a nasty message telling me I’m a the worst piece of shit on this earth, I did not text her back. I went 3 days no contact and broke.. texting her I hope she was okay and even though things went wrong I still care about her… she texted back to leave her alone it’s over and she’s moving on goodbye…. i than texted her pathetically for about another 5 more times telling her that no one in their right mind would fight this hard for someone and she’s losing someone who truly loves her.. my question is do I send the NC message after all this… and am I just hoping for nothing if she truly hates me.
    Thank you

    1. Hi Megan,

      Your ex is only 19 and really immature.

      Hate is a VERY strong word, and she doesn’t really grasp what she’s saying, she’s just trying to hurt you.

      Don’t let her.

      That’s why it’s important to send the recommended NC message (as outlined in the free breakup survival plan) ASAP!

      You need to let her (and the old failed relationship) go.

      That doesn’t mean you have to let her go forever, just the old relationship.

      That’s why I include the phrase; “I will contact you when I’m ready”. This leaves the door cracked open so you can contact her later (if you want, once NC is over) and start a fresh NEW dialogue, without having to eat your words.

      NC will help you (both) let go of the old relationship, and heal, making room for a new relationship in the future.

      This will stop things from getting worse, and let the healing process begin.

      She will of course get really mad at you… why?

      Because you’re are taking away her ability to strike out at you every time you contact her.

      Now, since she isn’t lashing out at you every other day, she can start to think things over and the healing begins.

      This is what you want, she needs to makeup her own mind about what “she” wants, not what you want for her.

      She is definitely immature, but, she has a right to make up her own mind, and you have the right to stop hurting, and start healing.

      The NC message will accomplish all of that if you’re strong enough to send it (without any changes).

      Keep in mind, things will get worse before they get better…. Stay Strong!

      Take Care,


  3. Hello I need some advice on how to win my ex back! We were together for just over a year and it ended after a difficult week where we’d both been through a few stressful months he was starting a new job as he moved cities to be nearer to me and I was just finishing the final year of my uni degree so we had been bickering more than usual. On the day it ended I went out with some friends and got drunk and we got into a very heated row and he told me he wanted nothing to do with me and to leave. I went home and he text me the next morning and we continued to speak for a couple of days. He was saying how it was killing him and he was finding it all really difficult. Over the few days afterwards we started talking less and less trying to ignore each other and texting occasionally and then I bumped into him in the gym and we had a 15 minute conversation just catching up and he was asking how I was doing and again said he was finding it difficult and that he missed me but said it had to be this way! The last message I heard off him was a fairly long message stating that he would miss everything about me and that I’ve made him such a better person and that he wants me to live such a happy life to which I replied something similar and haven’t heard from him since! I don’t know what I can do to get him back but I really want to have another chance to make things right!

    1. Hi Lauren,

      It sounds like he still wants to have a relationship with you, but, he needs some space.

      He broke it off, and doesn’t want to look “wishy-washy” by going back on his decision “too soon”.

      The best thing you can do is give him the space he’s asking for, and use the no contact rule to do it.

      By agreeing to the breakup you ARE NOT giving up on your relationship forever.

      This is a common misconception.

      What you are doing is giving him some space, and helping him to evolve (get past his objection to the relationship), faster.

      Go read the free breakup survival plan, and send the recommended NC message… ASAP!

      Then, try not to “bump into him”, if you can help it, but, if you do, follow the instructions for properly using NC in this situation.

      This is all explained in the free plan, and the articles it points to.

      Take Care,


  4. Hi,
    My ex of 2 years broke up with me 3 months ago bc he doesn’t love me anymore. We did have problems because I felt that he was not spending enough time with me and I got bitter about it which in return made him feel negative. Don’t get me wrong, I am not clingy at all, he just had so much other things in his life, that there was not enough time for even one day in 2-3 weeks. We worked together and saw each other there every day. For me that didn’t count, bc it was not quality time, we were working. I realise that if there was not enough in it for him it makes sense he broke up. But even during rough patches, when we were together it was always amazing, I never felt that he lost interest or his feelings for me. A couple of days before the break-up, he even texted me how amazing it was with me the evening before.

    After the break-up I immediately travelled and tried to not contact him. Yet I failed after 20 days. He is always very interested when I text him and asks a lot, it never comes from him though. He told me he wants to be there for me (I am searching for a new job), but that it might be too early, that he wants to be friends in a genuine way (he is not the type of guy that would hook up drunk or do on/off).
    I cut off contact again, but again couldnt go the whole time.
    whenever I saw him, we had a great time.
    He is very respectful and for me the love of my life. He is good looking and down to earth. I really want him back and I am afraid that sooner or later he will meet someone new and it will not be a rebound relationship, bc he is not that type. I wish I could push his buttons, but Idk if it will work on him. The last time we met up he didnt exactly keep distance, but also didnt tell me he enjoyed meeting me or anything later. I pretended to be happy, being all bubbly and telling him how great my life is as I have a lot of time doing stuff (freshly after the break I was veeery desperate, so I wanted to show change). What I don’t know is if it requires another period of NC, if I should keep meeting and manipulating him or if I should accept it will never happen again.

    1. Hi JJ,

      It seems like your ex is undecided about breaking up with you, which is good, and bad.

      The bad part is he keeps coming back, but, he doesn’t seem to want to commit, which keeps you on a roller coaster ride from hell.

      The good news is… there’s still hope.

      I offer the free breakup survival plan, for people who can’t afford to buy a course, at-the-moment.

      It’s a self-help step-by-step program that requires you to do most of the work alone, but, if you join our forum and really work hard, you will find the support you need, and keep moving forward.

      That takes time, and no one knows how much time they have to save their relationship. It varies from case-to-case.

      If you have been using the no contact rule (alone) without any success, it might be time to get more “focused” help, with hands-on guidance, and advice.

      I highly recommend you take a look at this report: 5 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

      If you see one, or more of these signs with your ex… it’s time to act.

      Go read the report, and take the necessary action.

      I wish you the best.

      Take Care,


  5. Hi,

    My situation is a long distance relationship, however she lives 30mins away and we have met up. We broke up over something stupid, she asked me something which I misread so I said stop abusing me after she continuously swore at me but within the same paragraph of me saying stop swearing at me, I referred to just the swearing. Due to this she believed it was best we break up as she didn’t want to be with me if I felt like she was abusing me, but I explained several times she in fact was not abusing me. She simply is just not wanting to accept that, which is why it has been hard to accept.

    We tried being friends for a few weeks, it was working we still continuously talked but every now then we would argue about the break up because I couldn’t handle her not talking to me as much, so I always put it down due to a lack of interest which she denied each time. Looking back now she possibly was just giving herself space but I was just worrying about her finding someone else, or talking to someone else. Sadly this did not last she still made herself clear and does not want to be with me, which I have accepted.

    She has known this guy for 2 weeks and they are now in a relationship, she is flaunting him off which is something she never did with me. He lives closer, has a car. I just want to know if she is rebounding, or if she actually has decided to throw everything away over something so stupid. I would understand I mistreated her but we were great, we lasted 1 year without meeting up and then just 2-4 weeks ago, we finally met up and we were living our dream but she has thrown it all away.

    I have said some stupid stuff, which I now regret which has probably reduced the chances of us getting back together. Do you think she has got into the new relationship to prevent herself going through the emotional side of our break up?

    I have now applied the no contact rule, so far so good. 2 days I have lasted so far.

    1. Hi Peter,

      It is pretty obvious that she’s just using this guy to get to you.

      If you are spying on her Facebook (or any other social media site) you need to stop, then she can’t mess with your mind like she is.

      It’s good that you decided to use the no contact rule as damage control, and to let the old relationship die.

      Hopefully you are using it correctly.

      If you are not following the steps in the free breakup survival plan, you are not using the no contact rule correctly.

      My best advice is to learn how to survive this breakup by reading (and following) the free breakup survival plan.

      If you have some money to spend, you can check out this program, it will not only help you get her back, but it will teach you how to handle her swearing problem.

      It’s one thing to get your ex back, it’s a whole other thing to keep her.

      Take Care,


  6. Hello,

    Im so sorry this is such a long story but I feel so helpless and lost I really hope you can respond when you have a minute. I’ve made a terrible mistake, I’m not a bad person, I just got caught up. When he broke up with me he said that his dilemma is that he loves me but can’t trust me and can’t be with someone he doesn’t trust.

    I was in a failing relationship with someone when we met. I was living with my ex ex bf but it wasn’t working and I was falling out of love with him. We weren’t spending any time together, I checked out.

    Then my friend came to town and was going for dinner with her bf and she said he’s bringing his roommate and to come along and so I did. We instantly felt a masssive connection, what followed was such a whirlwind. I told him I had just come out of a relationship barely two weeks ago and that we should just slowly get to know each other and see what happens. I couldn’t tell him I was still living with my ex (couldn’t afford to move out yet) because I was so afraid to lose him, I’d never met someone so perfect for me. We got so serious so quickly, he flew me to his country to meet his parents and we all then travelled together and we were speaking about marriage etc. We had a massive fight and he demanded to see the convo between my ex and I and I didn’t show him and I admitted that my ex and I weren’t properly broken up we were just on a break. He got upset but forgave me. When we travelled with his parents he went through my phone and also saw that I had gone to dinner with an old friend of mine that I had history with. I told him about the dinner but I left out that we had history. He confronted me and I flatout denied it constantly because I didn’t know he went through my phone, I know I should t have lied, I was just so scared to lose him that I wrongly felt like it was the only way. The guy is just a friend I have no feelings for him. Then he told me he went through my entire phone (he later said he made that up and used it to trick me to confess) and so it led me to confess that my ex and I lived in the same house the whole time. I told him initially that he was staying at a hotel. I also confessed that we slept together (but that was two weeks after we met so we weren’t even official). I did this because i was with my ex ex for two years and I thought I should maybe this was a rebound and I should not give my relationship up. I got hit by such strong feelings for my new ex a month later and since then I remained fully committed to him. I slept at his house every weekend, when I slept at home I always slept on the couch. I got my sister to live with me and my ex ex so I wouldn’t be alone with him in the house. Anyway when I confessed this he completely broke up with me, quite brutally. I’ve been so effected by this because it’s all my fault he was so perfect and I just got so stressed with both situations that I made all the worst decisions, it’s not in my nature at all, I’m so devastated. I then asked to meet him for a coffee and he said yes three days later but he ended up cancelling literally an hour after we were supposed to meet. He blamed it on being delayed doing something. I asked if he just didn’t want to see me and he said he didn’t really see the point In meeting and pretending that its all fine. I then said it isn’t fine at all and he said he doesn’t know how to say this without being rude but he has no intention of fixing anything, it’s can’t be fixed it’s too late. This was seven days after we broke up. He then told me we can talk this week and he will be as clear as water. I then decided he needed space because he sounded angry so I didn’t speak to him for three weeks. He started posting certain things on social media that I think was to try to show me he’s moved on or to get a reaction from me but I remained quiet. He also purposefully doesn’t watch my Snapchat but then I see a relative of his watches them and I think it’s him watching through it because his relative doesn’t follow me and we’ve never met.

    So after theee weeks I asked him if I could call him. He didn’t reply. The day later I called him and no reply then I text asking if he’s okay. And no reply.

    What do I do? I thought of cute gestures like making him dinner and sending it to his house, sending cake to his office (inside joke).

    Is this salvageable or should I just move on?

    1. Hi Maggie,

      I would call it a day, and start the moving on process.

      Go read the free breakup survival plan, it will guide you through the proper no contact process, so you can move on from this failed relationship.

      After you send him the recommended NC message I highly suggest that you unfriend/block him from all your social media accounts, and stop looking at any of his social media accounts.

      You’re not going to find what you’re looking for by stalking him, it will only cause you pain and confuse, and prolong the healing process.

      Maybe a few months down the road he will come around and want to talk, maybe not.

      Either way you will not be caught up in this failed relationship anymore.

      Take Care,


      1. Thank you so much for your reply. Are you absolutely sure it’s over for good? Can’t I give it one last push and then stop and move on? He is literally the love of my life, and I know he felt the same way before all of this. And if there was no hope at all from his end why is he stalking my social media through a different account. He told one of his friends he sometimes thinks about forgiving me but the more he thinks the more he realizes it’s too many lies to forgive. But at least may be he has some doubt there? All I’ve done since this happened is send one email and asked for the coffee. I haven’t made any effort to show him how sorry I am besides words and other than the email these were limited because I wanted to give him space. He introduced me to his entire family just a few months in, we were only together for four months in total but they were severely intense. Do you think it’s worth me trying to salvage?


        1. Hi Maggie,

          I never said “it was over for good”.

          That is the fear talking, and that fear is what is going to make things worse between you and him.

          This version of your relationship is over, stop trying to save it, and focus on the bigger picture.

          Send the recommended NC message, agree with him about the breakup, and accept it.

          Then, and only then will you both start to heal.

          Stop looking at this breakup as the end of your relationship, and the look at it for what it really is, the possibility of an even better (closer) relationship in the future.

          You don’t want to ‘salvage’ the relationship, you want to let it evolve into an even better relationship.

          But, that takes time, patience, and planning.

          Any desperate attempt at salvation will end up becoming a termination.

          All relationships go through these ‘growing pains’.

          Go read the free breakup survival plan, and follow all the steps.

          If a self-help plan is a little too hard for you to follow, I recommend you look at this program, they will provide all the support (and guidance) you will need to make it through this breakup.

          Not only that, but you will learn the necessary skills to maintain your relationship once you get him back.

          Whichever you choose, make a choice, and stick with it.

          Take Care,


  7. Hi. I have been with my ex gf for a bit over 5 years and she left me because we were arguing a lot before the breakup, mostly about her being distant and not affectionate at all. Well she broke up with me and for a few days before I moved out I tried to change her mind but it didn’t work, she said she was ending it and that was it. I asked her is it done forever and she said yes, when I asked if there is anything I can do to change that she was silent. Before I left I wished her all the best in life and I told her I wish she will find someone who will make her happier than me. I don’t know what to do here. When I moved out I initiated NC and it has been 12 days now. It gets harder by the day because she posts a lot of “broken love” statuses on FB and I feel she gave up on everything. I know she will never contact me first even if she wanted to. Even tho she still loves me, she thinks this is the best choice and we need to do it. We need to get over this break up and move on with our lives. Among the reasons for which she broke up with me were that I suffocated her, and that she doesn’t trust me anymore. She thinks even if we got back together things would just go back to being the same. I made mistakes and told her how much she means to me and everything but that of course didn’t work. Anyway, I got no idea what am I supposed to do here. Before I left I even suggested just taking a break for a month, but she refused saying this ” I don’t want to take a break because I don’t know how I will feel in a month and I know that if I tell you lets take a break for a month you will think that we will get back together and I don’t want to give you hope because I don’t know how I will feel in a month” . A part of me has says that I should never contact her because I gave it my all to prevent this break up, but a part of me wants to go there and do something. Any insight on my situation would be very helpful. I’m 25 and she is 26. I have some things I need to return to her and I was thinking as using that as an excuse just to go see how she is doing and if she says anything (I would never ask her about getting back together first), i just want to see how she is and if I can notice any hope or lack of it from her.
    I want this to agony to be over. One way or the other.
    What would you suggest? Thank you in advance.

    1. Hi,

      You need to back off, and use the no contact rule to let the wounds heal, and give each other time to think about what you each “really” want.

      This goes for cyber-spying on her Facebook page, as well.

      If you keep pursuing her, she will become even more distant, and your chances for getting back together, will diminish.

      I know it feels like to have to keep trying, but, you need to do the exact opposite.

      Go read the free breakup survival plan, and follow all the steps, it will lead you in the right the direction.

      Just make sure you send the recommended NC message, and then leave her alone.

      No contact doesn’t work without using the proper message.

      Take Care,


      1. First, I’d like to thank you for asnwering my question and giving input on my situation even tho I am not a member of the site yet.
        Thank you from the bottom of my heart S, Williams.

        Well I fucked up before you answered, sorry. I asked her to meet me for coffee tomorrow, and she said yes. Now I have no idea what is going on. And I feel like I might fuck this up. Of course I will keep the conversation light and never mention getting back together or anything serious like that. But still, now I have no idea why she even agreed.

        S. Jimeny

        1. Hi,

          I would advise that you skip this meeting.

          It’s waaaay too early for any kind of reconciliation.

          You would be better off sending the recommended NC message.

          This will show that you “agree” with “her decision”, and that will go a long way in showing her you are trying to change your behavior.

          Maybe it will look a little fucked up, after you asked her to coffee, but, believe me, it’s the best thing you can do right now.

          Take Care,


  8. Hi!
    So I broke the NC rule a few times and the last time I did it I really messed things up. So my ex broke up with me because I was nagging and not being very nice to him recently so he ended it but he said that he wanted to be back together later but needed some time alone for awhile, okay I did good at first but we kept meeting each other and do things together we used to do as a couple and it was very nice and he actually was very interested and still had very much feelings for me but somehow I screwed up, I was so close of getting him back but I started nagging again, called him crying and begged him to come back, texting him too much – i was just acting crazy, I logged in to his fb account and he got very angry to me so now he does not like me at all, he changed from this “i want you back but we need some space from each other for awhile” to this “I now think we should never be together again because you are now doing the exact same thing why I broke up with you, I thought you would change but mabye you won’t” … I really screwed up… Do I still have a chance? If I now do the full 30 day NC do you think I am still able to get him back even after all the mess I made?

    1. Hi Sally,

      The BEST thing you can do right now, is leave him alone.

      I recommend reading the free breakup survival plan, and following all the steps.

      Send the recommended NC message, and then leave him alone for more than 30 days, aim for at least 60 before attempting any contact.


      Because you have really angered him, and the best way for him to get over his anger is to be left alone to work through his emotions.

      And, you need to learn how to be on your own, without a relationship.

      There is always a chance you can get back together if you stop making things worse, and let the wounds heal.

      Take Care,

      S. W.

  9. Hey Hey!

    I have a quick question, I broke NC but called from a different number, do you still think I have a chance, honestly I don’t know if I want him back but should I feel super bad about breaking NC even though I called from a different number, I received no answer.

    1. Hi Alicia,

      If you didn’t talk to your ex about your breakup or the NC message (if you sent one), or leave a voice message, then you did not break NC.


      If you are not following the free breakup survival plan, then you’re not using NC correctly.

      Take Care,


      1. Hello,

        Thank You so much for your quick response, that makes me feel better! No I haven’t spoken to him, called from a different number. it didn’t answer the phone and he haven’t called back.

        Thanks again!

  10. Hey SW,
    I think I messed up. My ex and I have been together for 6 years and have been living together most of that time. She bought a house for us about a year and a half ago. Things were always OK, but I had a problem at texting other girls sometimes when my self esteem was low. She found another text almost 3 weeks ago and broke up with me. We have been broken up before but always got back together. She also said she hates that I get angry when I drink, and drive too aggressive. I have been sober for almost 3 weeks now. Since the break up, I have done the terrible thing of begging right away for a week or so, to no avail. Then I decided to stay with friends for 5 days, which I started the no contact rule about 3 days into that. She didn’t text me the on day 1, but day 2, she texted me the next morning and that night telling me I could stay there if I wanted, only she was out with friends and would be home later. My friends stayed up all night drinking so I called her and told her I would stay at our place for some peace and quiet. She came home drunk and we were intimate.. She said how much she missed me, how nice I looked, and it made her so happy when I called her. The next day things seemed good in the morning but the afternoon was awkward. I told her I would try to find an apartment because things were so up and down and I was tired of feeling that way. She agreed and then we kissed because I told her it might be the last chance I have to do so. The following night, I was having such bad anxiety that I told her I wanted to sleep in her bed, and so she agreed. We started to talk about things a little, but she said she was tired and emotional, so we could just talk tomorrow. The next night (last night), we talked for about 3 hours in person. I told her how much I care for her and not to give up on us, after the last 6 years we have worked so hard, bla blah blah. She said no matter what I say, we keep having the same conversation, but her mind has not changed for almost 3 weeks. I told her it’s because we’re both in an emotional state. She said she is just tired of it, still hurt, and eventually we would get over the break up and find other people. She assured me she is not talking to/seeing anyone else and has no desire to for a while, since she is trying to find herself. She said I need to find another place to live by May or so. I told her I was staying with my friend Joey (her coworker) for a month or so for her to have some real alone time. We agreed not to see other people during this time, but she told me she does not owe it to me, it’s more for herself. She also said she wanted it to be clear that it is not a “break”, but a break up. I am terrified that when I broke no contact that first time, just when she started to miss me, that I ruined my chances completely. Please help!

    Best Regards,

    1. Hi Max,

      Long story short, you didn’t use the no contact rule, correctly.

      You still have a chance, but, you need to start doing things right.

      Don’t panic, just go read the free breakup survival plan, and follow ALL the steps.

      The simpler you keep things, the better they work.

      Take Care,


      1. SW –

        I read the free breakup survival plan, but I am not sure what to do next? After our talk last night, we agreed that we would hang out for her birthday on April 14, but I don’t know what to do. She is the nicest person ever and says she still cares for me, but we can’t be friends because we always end up back in eachother’s beds. She says she “worries about me”, so I know she will either text me or my friend that I am staying with during no contact, but I don’t know if she’s just being nice or not? Should I really need to implement the NC message or just start doing NC to get her to start guessing/wondering? All my stuff is at her house still, so that will have to be addressed eventually too…

        1. Max said:

          I read the free breakup survival plan, but I am not sure what to do next?

          What should you do next?

          That’s easy.

          If you want to feel better and have the best chance of getting your ex back, follow the plan, every step.

          If you want to continue to be at your ex’s mercy (in relationship limbo)… do nothing.

          Life really isn’t that hard, we just make it that way by over complicating simple matters.

          She made it clear, it was “a breakup”, not “a break” (which is what they usually mean, when they say break, anyways).

          The old relationship is done, over.

          Accept it, let it go.

          You don’t want the old relationship back, anyways.

          You want the even better relationship that will be born out of this breakup… if you handle it correctly.

          Once you “really” read the plan, you will understand, in time.

          Take Care,


          PS – Go read the breakup success stories section, for some encouragement.

          1. Ok, but what about all the stuff that I have at her place? She will reach out to me to get it soon. And can I improvise the NC message to say “Hi, I agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us to end our old relationship. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready.” Is using the words “old relationship” presumptuous?

            1. Max said:

              Ok, but what about all the stuff that I have at her place?

              Once again, an easy answer… just go pick it up, the sooner the better.

              If you have some loose ends to tie up (like stuff to pick up), I recommend that you don’t send the NC message until you have tied up all such loose ends.


              Then you don’t have to worry about her wanting to discuss the NC message, when you’re picking your stuff up… make sense?

              Max said:

              And can I improvise the NC message

              After you leave her place, text or email the NC message as outlined in the free plan, (word for word) no changes.

              A clean and polite ending to a broken relationship.

              The cleaner the break, the better. The more hostility you create, the harder it will be to reconcile in the future.

              Take Care,


              1. Really go pick it up asap? I mean, we shared a large house… So there is a lot of stuff. I told her I am staying with a friend for a month. I don’t have anywhere to put all my couches, dressers, bed, tables, kitchen ware, tools in the’s going to take a long time to pack and a lot of the things we have were bought together. How am I supposed to figure out what to take and what not to take? I am having a very hard time with this.

                1. Hi Max,

                  Really go pick it up asap?

                  Go pick it up whenever you feel like it.

                  You asked for my advice, and I gave it to you.

                  If you want any more support, or advice, you must follow the free plan, and join our forum.

                  I don’t waste my time on tire-kickers, I am here to support the action-takers… for free.

                  Take Care,


                  1. Hi SW, I moved all my stuff out last Thursday. I left the NC Letter on the table with my house key and her spare car key. I have not heard back from her since. She did come. Home briefly while I was loading up my stuff and said “this was unexpected..” and I was very cordial and respectful to her. I hope I sent the right message and she doesn’t completely give up on us after the letter..

                    1. Hi Max,

                      Good job on stepping up and taking control of your situation!

                      All you did, was give her what she asked for.

                      She wanted to breakup, and for you to move out, so you did.

                      It would have been worse if you fought with her, believe me.

                      It may look like, you’re “not fighting for her”, but, you are.

                      You did the hardest thing, you put her feelings first, and gave her what she wanted.

                      Now, let’s see if it’s “really” what she wants.

                      If you sent the recommended NC message, you sent the right message, and you’re now eligible to join our free support forum.

                      Just follow the directions in either the free plan, or in the newsletter (if you subscribed).

                      Either way will walk you through the whole process.

                      Once you’re accepted, you can start your NC diary, and post all your questions there.

                      I respond to forum members faster than blog comments, because they’re following the plan, and not just wasting time.

                      It takes a lot of “guts” to ask for help, and then to take action.

                      Keep up the good work, and…

                      Stay Strong and Positive!


  11. Hey there, my name is Timmy… So, this is what happened. First of all, I had a lover, but my parents didn’t want me to have a girlfriend, at this time, so they tried to restrict me using extreme measures, such as taking my phone, check browser history everyday, check wifi logs, etc.I found ways around that though. So, my girlfriend asked me to have some time off not talking. I was really stressed, enough to have bleed from my ears. so I wasn’t in the right state of mind and didn’t want to. So, so there’s a lot of drama after that because she started talking online another chat site (one that was really hard for me to get to because of parents, even though we met there first. So, I asked her not to and talk on our chat site more, and she said yes, but ultimately starts talking on the chat site, and denies it, like example:says taking a bath takes 3 hours, (sees messages on other chat site), and basically went from talking with each other from 8 hours a day to less than half an hour. She then asked to break up a few weeks later, because of the stress. She had a really hard time in school now, because of the classes she was taking, and I asked to give it a few weeks. I thought it was getting better for a week, but she ultimately broke up a week after that. We were still friends, but there was a lot more drama, because I was selfish and kept trying to get back together (I was acting like the victim, etc etc, even though I didn’t notice because I was too stressed, it was finals week too). But, ultimately, I went on her account as saw all this stuff she was venting to her friends about me, and it was really bad too. I got mad at the friend (she was just telling him what I was saying, and he was telling her how he felt about me,telling her I was this and that, leading to her not trusting me at all, telling her he thinks I’m cheating, etc).So, I confronted him, and he kept telling me that he was simply stating his options. So, I got made and sent him the screenshots I took of them talking, and then they blocked me. So, a week later, I contacted my ex-Girlfriend under a fake guise, just to play a game, but she brought up her ex (me) and was telling my fake account all this bad stuff about me, that my friend made (half of them were lies, and I tried to counter that in a 3rd person perspective). I got really mad (I’m was still not in the correct mindset) and made a rant post about what she said, and basically calls her a hypocrite. So, she completely blocks my account, and I can talk to mutual friends, but she’s really mad at me now, telling me that she doesn’t want me in her life. So, right now, I’m making an apology letter, and I don’t know when to send it, or even if I should make it a video or a letter (I can’t send to her mailbox, her parents take it) We actually went through a lot together, I stopped her suicidal tendencies completely, and confronted/ completely stopped all her stalkers, taught her how to stop the stalkers, helped her learn (she was in college courses too, and so I had to ask specific teachers for that) and I usually stayed up till 3-5 am to help her with homework and depression.
    Sorry if it’s a bit long, but is there any way I can get back together with her? I really like your program, especially the free part. I used to have a small community of depressed people where we would help each other (I was one of the guys that wasn’t depressed but wanted to help) and I really like your style of bringing this on; You don’t always ask for money (although I’m pretty sure at some point you’ll need to) and help others who don’t have enough money for a psychologist or expert etc

    1. Hi Timmy,

      The best way to resolve this problem is to leave her alone, and stop cyber-stalking her.

      It sounds like she wants to have some time to herself, and you should let her.

      The more you chase her, the faster she will run.

      Go read the free breakup survival plan, and send the recommended NC message (word for word).

      Focus on getting your happy self back. again.

      You don’t need her to be happy, especially if she is going to treat you this way.

      Take Care,


      1. I’ve stopped after I started to understand the situation, and I been planning to send an apology letter/poem to her after a month, though mutual friends. She’s not a bad person, she was just trying to vent her feelings because she’s really mad at me. I’m not going to contact her anymore, but during NC I accidentally made a rant post about her in my frustrations. Before that, she only has unfriended me and ignored my messages, but now she’s completely blocked me. Should I send an apology letter in around a month, or when she contacts? She’s really stressed now because of college, so I’m not sure when I should send the apology letter, or if I should. I want her back, not close off access… thanks!

        1. Hi Timmy,

          You know, sometimes you have to go backwards in-order to move forward.

          You asked for my advice. I gave you my best advice, along with a free plan, and a free support forum.

          You do what you feel is best.

          Good Luck!


  12. Hello S.Williams, I had a toxic complicated relationship. We were both at fault and I had many insecurities that I was working on and she was patient with me. It came to a point where things were one sided at times and she wasn’t really considerate of me at times.

    One night I got really upset and I “kicked” her out. I didn’t mean it and tried apologizing but she left. She said she was going to cool off with a drive but ended up texting me saying she will see me tomorrow morning. I flipped because of other stuff that she lied and kept away from me and told her it’s over. Blocked her on everything and messaged her saying goodnight “:)” with a smiley face.

    I was regretting it and I had to keep strong. So I did the NC. I went nuts. And I broke the rule almost into 2 weeks. That was my goal 2 weeks.

    I called her, caught up a bit. Told her that I’ve changed, gyming it, applied for another job, self realizations and going out more. I asked her to join me for dinner or hangout sometime. She said she doesn’t know, because it seems like that would seem like we are getting back together. She wants to work on herself. I asked if she still loves me, she said I don’t know and I asked if we can work things out, she said she’s not there yet. She also said that she thought I moved on within that week?!

    How can you not love someone after 8 months and 3 months living with each other?!

    Is she lying? She still has a picture of me on her Facebook. The only one of me she has. I don’t get it.

    Oh and I told her that I can’t wait, but after I hung up, I cried and freaked out and wanted to keep her. So I called two times, no answer, texted her saying, call me back sorry,

    She said what happened?

    I texted 2 hours later saying

    Wanted to say that I would like to be friends and hope we can hangout sometime soon.

    Still here for you and your Mom.

    Goodnight Vero 🙂

    This was all last night and she didn’t respond. Did I mess up my chances? Obviously that showed her I didn’t change and I’m emotionally unstable.

    1. Hi Alex,

      Instead of wondering about your chances, take charge of your situation…now.

      You can get your life back (and maybe your ex, too) if you stop spiraling out of control.

      Go read the free breakup survival plan, and follow all the steps.

      At this point, since you have messed up so many times with NC before, I would recommend that you go at least 90 days before even considering breaking NC.

      In the meantime, think about what kind of counseling you and your ex will go to (together) if you decide to get back together.

      Take Care,


  13. Hello. My ex girlfriend and I have been together for 6 years. I truly loved her with all my heart. I had some trust issues with her during our last year together. She was in contact with her ex which I found to be very inappropriate She said she needed time to think about things. I got frustrated and told her to take all the time she needed because I was done with the relationship. I dumped her. I said some nasty and mean things to her. However, after a few days I regretted breaking up with her. I wanted to work things out. I tried calling her and she lashed out in anger telling me to never contact her again. I tried apologizing for the words I used but she didn’t want to hear it. She said she didn’t love me.

    I have been horrible with the no contact rule. Infact, it’s been a year and 3 months since we broke up now. However, I always tried texting her and calling her in that year and 3 months. I would try contacting her at least once or twice during the week. The most days I went on no contact with her was probably 4 weeks. So I feel she probably never had the chance to feel how life would be without me. The last contact I had with her, she told me she never loved me and her heart was somewhere else. That hurt me very much. How could a person say that after 6 years with somebody? Do you think she’s just saying that to hurt me? Since that comment, I haven’t contacted her. It’s been 3 weeks of no contact. Do you think it’s too late to establish a no contact after a year and 3 months of trying to get her back.
    Thank you.

    1. Hi David,

      It’s never too late to start using the no contact rule to evolve past a breakup.

      Go read the free breakup survival plan, and follow all the steps.

      It’s time to let go of the old relationship.

      If you had started using the no contact rule (correctly) 1 year and 3 months ago, you could’ve been back together by now.

      At any rate, you would feel a lot better than you do now.

      So, don’t hesitate, and start using NC correctly, today.

      Take Care,


      1. Thank you very much.

  14. 27 days into no contact… I broke it by chatting with my ex’s best friend… Telling how much I still love my ex and hope to get back together with him…. Now am afraid that he might tell my ex. I feel awful. How do I solve this

    1. Hi Lina,

      There is no way to fix this, you need to stop talking to your ex’s friends and family.

      It will ALWAYS get back to your ex.

      I am not sure if you’re following the free breakup survival plan, and you sent your ex the recommended NC message 27 days ago.

      If you haven’t sent the recommended NC message, now’s a good time.

      If your ex tries to contact you, reply by sending him the NC message.

      If you were following the free breakup survival plan, you would have known better than to talk to your ex’s friend about your feelings for your ex.

      This is discussed in the plan.

      Take Care,


  15. ok, so in the briefest possible way, here is my situation.
    Started chatting to a guy on a dating website.
    Clicked quickly and messaged long and many messages for a few days before he gave me his number. The messages continued, photos (face shots) were sent, we bantered and played around, highly flirting and sexual and many many messages later (and 2 weeks) we spent a whole day together. It was quite clear we were both into eachother.
    We messaged some more and then went out for dinner a few days later and I stayed at his house (no sex, but other stuff) but also a movie and drinking and talking etc.
    he started to slow down in the constant messages and the constant banter. I tried to keep it up and then started to get worried that it was over already. This was the first click I have had since my ex and was smitten!
    He warned me to chill out a bit and not be so manipulative with some things I would say to get him to reply (such as, it’s ok if you are not into me anymore, just tell me) etc.
    we spent the night together again and had sex.
    i was trying to see him again as soon as I could and he was like its Christmas I am busy with family stuff. Then I messaged again a couple of days later asking if he wanted to catch up and he said he was on a motorbike trip. Nothing more than that. I sent a few silly drunken messages like you suck and you clearly want me to leave u alone.
    Two days later, still nothing I messaged and said, I don’t get it, you were all into it with the bantering of many messages each day, telling me what u want to do to me, calling me gorgeous blah blah and then now nothing? Are you done with me? Just give it to me raw and tell me.
    and so he did.
    He said that he told me he was on a motorcycle trip. And yes he was going to let me go. I was carrying on like his ex and he doesn’t want to repeat the same mistakes. He said sorry but I’m out. And no I don’t want to talk one last time just leave me be. All the best and good luck.
    i went semi crazy here which I did in a drunken moment and wish more than anything I could take back.
    i did the desperation texts, apologising, saying I didn’t realise I was pissing him off and please don’t ride me off yet I am worth it and blah blah.
    No reply.
    4 days later I texted again and just said hope you are well. I would love to take you out to dinner if you are free. I feel really crappy about the way I acted.
    I went no contact for 10 days with no response and then I sent a funny line from his favourite movie and told him that I just watched it.
    He replied with this:
    Yes it is a great movie. Welcome to 2012😋

    Listen i am very sorry but i don’t want to lead you on. I don’t think we would work out.
    You see i am something of a womaniser and i am not proud of it… this year i have decided to try and be a better person. So i am writing this so let you down gently…
    Like i said, i think you are a nice enough girl but im afraid i think… in fact i know.. that you and i wouldn’t work out. Im sorry and i know that probably stings like hell and believe me i know what that feels like… its not nice and i feel horrible doing it. But still, its better this way.
    I shouldn’t have let things get as far as they did but im trying to be honest about it now so you have some closure…
    You’re a nice girl, and there are plently if guys out there who would love a girl as affectionate as you.
    You will make someone very happy one day… just not me. And not because you couldn’t but because i know myself and what i am like.

    Please don’t keep drawing this out… it will be better for you in the long run.
    Like i said i am sorry , this is my fault and i am an asshole i know… trust me you wouldn’t want to be with me.
    Don’t make this a long drawn out goodbye okay?

    Take care of yourself and keep your chin up ✌ x

    I then replied with this:

    Thank You for replying and It’s all good, I honestly didn’t mean to get as excitable as I did.
    I was in a haze of physical lust and the mental stimulation you provided was addictive.
    I wasn’t, and am not looking for anything more than what it was. I was having a great time with you, and then got silly, which is so unlike me in these situations.
    I was being manipulative and hadn’t been fully aware of how I do this, until you came along. So I am sorry for behaving that way, I can’t pretend I’m not embarrassed because I am.
    And, I too, am focusing on myself and doing things differently.
    Yes, it was confusing to me, more so thoughts such as, was the sex with me really awful?
    Did I not have a cheeseburger after all and was it more like a Big Mac? Hahaha.
    But of course, I had to question these things.
    And thankyou, but I’m not worried about meeting someone. I am aware of my qualities and have never questioned that I won’t find someone.
    And yes you are an asshole, but you own it and I admire you for that.
    I am not looking for anyone in that capacity right now as I have so much happening this year with uni, I just want fun times both mentally and physically.
    Like I think we both were having at first until I got all attention seeking?
    On that note, I’m not going to beg you to give me another chance, I am past that now.
    I am completely indifferent 😜
    However, I would love for you to once again be my early morning visitor, preferably soon before I explode?
    Can we maybe give that a little try?

    That was last night and there has been no response.
    What do I do? Is there no chance of me rekindling this? I felt he didn’t even get to know me properly.

    1. I just got a text message from him:

      Honestly i would come and see you but for what? To use you?
      I have done that to alot of women and i am tired being like that. Sure its fun but i always end up hurting some poor girl and i don’t want to do that anymore. You might say i have grown a conscience :/
      As hard as that is to imagine…
      Thank you anyway but i would prefer not to use you Ree… you will thank me for this later im sure.

      You just focus on you and getting yourself in order this year like i am trying to do.
      Take care little lady x

      Now I’m going complete silent and not writing back.

      1. Hi,

        This guy sounds like a real asshole.

        You are dodging a bullet.

        Take my previous advice, and move on.

        Take Care,


    2. Hi Rhiannon,

      It sounds like it was just a physical relationship, let it go.

      I suggest you go read the free breakup survival plan, and use
      it to move on.

      Don’t waste any more time on a guy who doesn’t know what
      he wants.

      Take Care,


  16. So we broke up a month back after a year and half of getting together. I hurt her badly after disrespecting her one day. I agree that the relationship had to go south from then on. I apologized for a few days.I applied no contact a few days after the break up. Soon I got a new job, my ex was curious when she got to know so called a mutual friend and confirmed. She told the friend she had given up on love and relationship because of the pain and would not go into any in the future. Then she sent me a congratulatory msg. I replied to her hours later and by this time she had deleted my num on whatsapp. I sent her a message a few days later saying how she was and broke the no contact. She did not reply, so sent her a msg with apology etc. she messaged back..I called her..we talked and argued on the phone day she sent a message saying we should end it.

    She says that there definitely was love in the relationship but there is no respect and trust now. She blocked me on whatsapp. It’s been done twice already in the last month. This time it really looks she will keep me blocked.

    The best thing is to do nothing right now.. but for how long. The breakup was bad and she is in pain. I don’t know how long the no contact should be for if she unblocks me or will she?

    1. Hi Sam,

      All the help you need is in this free guide, called The Free Breakup Survival Plan.

      I highly suggest you read this guide, and start using the no contact rule correctly.

      Take Care,


  17. Hello

    Please can you provide me with an email where I can contact you or send me a mail so I revert to that. I need your help.

    1. Hi,

      You can find my contact information here.

      Take Care,


  18. So my girlfriend and I were dating for about a year and then we split. She said we could still be friends though so I continued to text her like we normally did for about a month and a half. We were able to joke and laugh at times but I had no idea about the no contact rule. We worked out a few things and she even said that our relationship now is better than it was when we broke up. However she told me now that talking to me is still a bit strange and that she was taken back by the fact that I still wanted to talk to her after the break up. She seems like she wants some space herself so I haven’t texted her in two days. Should I continue no contact until she texts me first? And how badly may I have hurt my chances with her by talking for over a month after the break up?

    1. Hi Cam,

      It seems like your ex is trying to “gently” tell you she doesn’t feel comfortable talking with you after the breakup.

      This isn’t a big problem (if you take her hints).

      Just click this link, and go read the free breakup survival plan.

      This is a free guide on how to use the no contact rule to get over a breakup, and get your ex back.

      Take Care,


  19. So I went into the 3 weeks of going to the NC rule… and out the blue I get a txt message from my ex stating something about my landlord and my apt we was supposed notify the lady that he isn’t going to be staying. So I called him 2x he didn’t answer to find out exact information so I txt the thumbs up emoji and left it as that… so shortly he txt and says oh I’m changing my number anyways… I didn’t respond at all bc none of that really phased me… So do I start over or just continue bc I haven’t spoken to him or gave him a reaction stating that I care…

    1. Hi Lexus,

      I am going to assume that you are not following the free breakup survival plan (which you should be following).


      Because this is all explained in the plan.

      You probably didn’t use NC correctly to begin with, so, this is a perfect opportunity to start over, and do it right.

      Go read the free breakup survival plan, and follow ALL the steps.

      Take Care,


  20. My situation is extremely unique. I am married to my husband who lives in Nigeria while i live in Canada. Our sponsorship was denied in 2014. Weve been married for 4 years. I am prepared to responsor him sometime when we have money to hire a lawyer. My husband has asked if he can keep me as his wife and marry another woman as hes lonely. I of course said no and attempted to end my marriage. I blocked him on facebook and ignored his text and messages. However i felt like telling him about some things and chise to reply his message. We chatted throughout the day and even today. Is this marriage worth saving with so many unknowns of the future. Its so hard living apart and its so hard to let go. If he marries another woman its really over. Is there any support groups or books to help me with this decision?

    1. Hi Jo,

      Your situation isn’t really “unique” your husband doesn’t sound like he is really interested in preserving your marriage, which makes you wonder if he was ever interested in being married to you.

      He is more worried about getting laid. He doesn’t care if you are lonely.

      This should tell you everything you need to know to make a good decision.

      You should end your marriage, and put this all behind you.

      He is obviously not the man you thought you married.

      You can try searching for support groups, but, I highly doubt you will find one specific to “your situation”, which in reality, is just a man who wants a divorce, but, is afraid to ask for one.

      Take Care,


  21. I broke the nc after a couple weeks. I sent a message saying how much I loved her. We were together for 4 months and I fell completely in love with her. She started seeing someone 2 weeks after she broke up with me. My heart says she’s the one. What do I do?

    1. Hi Garrett,

      You must start using the no contact rule again, and use it correctly.

      Go read The Free Breakup Survival Plan, and learn how to correctly use the no contact rule.

      Take Care,


      1. She blocked me from everything, so I can’t contact her anymore. So the no contact will be easy now. But what are my chances of us getting back together. I think about her all the time.

        1. Hi,

          It is unfortunate that you can not contact her, because it is very important that you send her the recommended NC message as outlined in the free breakup survival plan.

          Your chances of getting back together (after evolving past the breakup) are about 50/50.

          Your chances of getting back together without evolving past the breakup are worse.

          If I were you, I would focus more on getting over (surviving) the breakup, than I would about getting back together.

          Take Care,


  22. Hi… my boyfriend and I had a very big argument 2 weeks ago.. ever since we haven’t talk.. I took his cloths back and left it at his friends house, since they are best friends and always together..
    He did the same for my stuff and left him at his friends house which I already picked up.
    Rundally I get a text from my girlfriend
    Mutual friend telling me that he texted her to tell me to get my stuff when I already did!!
    So I broke the no contact rule and told him ( I got my stuff already thank for everything ) he replied
    Few hrs later saying K.
    Based on this. Do you think there’s a chance to get back. Truly miss him, we were together for 1
    Year but we know each other for 12 yrs by our mutual friend..
    I’d love to hear your advice.

    1. Hi Teresa,

      Anything is possible if you handle the breakup, correctly.

      I kind of doubt you initiated NC correctly, so the first thing you need to do, is go read The Free Breakup Survival Plan.

      Once you understand how to start (and use) NC correctly, send the recommended NC message (as outlined in the plan).

      Then follow all the rest of the steps.

      Take Care,


  23. My ex and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. We had a good breakup with no hard feelings. He said he’s always there if I need him and to never be a stranger. So I texted him yesterday to see how he was and he didn’t reply. So I asked if I could ask a question and he said of course. I asked if maybe he wanted to go to a mutual friends wedding as friends and maybe catch up in a few weeks. He never replied. I just feel like he told me to text if I needed him and all that but didn’t mean it. Is my situation doomed?

    1. Hi Peyton,

      Some people say things that “sound nice” so they look nice, but, they don’t really mean the things they say.

      When in doubt you can always refer to the saying; “actions speak louder than words”.

      As far as is your situation “doomed”?

      I don’t see how it can be, because you are already broken up.

      You can’t breakup anymore, than you already have.

      Take Care,


  24. Hey I need help.
    Been asking myself if its Really over…
    Been with my ex from 2008 and have been breaking up and getting back together all these yrs until recent. He wasn’t showing interest because of all the fights we have been having. I also complained to my friends and they started hating him.Therefore, I initiated no contact also changed my numbers…he sent me an email then I didn’t reply…one the ,25th day of no contact, as I was out with my friends drinking I took one of my friends phone and I started telling him that I hate him via Whtsup nd then my friend took the phone and sent swear words to him as well to an extent that she said he has a small penis..I fought with my friend for that…now he wants nothing to do with me please help

    1. Hi Noks,

      It doesn’t sound like you and your ex make a good couple.

      Breaking up and getting back together for 9 years doesn’t sound like much fun.

      I don’t know how you “initiated no contact”, but, you obviously broke it, when you contacted him through your friend’s phone.

      If you really want help getting over your breakup, go read the free breakup survival plan.

      Once you learn how to properly initiate no contact, start NC again, and stick to it, by following the free plan breakup survival plan.

      If you do feel like reconnecting with your ex (after completing NC), I highly suggest you go for some face-to-face relationship counseling, together.

      Take Care,


      1. So it looks like this is a hopeless situation its okay I don’t have to get him back ..its okay as I understand that I will never change him..I want to move on no matter how difficult it is. And lasty I wanted to ask if I can send this him a last msge to apologize from everything I said nd did wrong

        1. Noks said:

          I want to move on no matter how difficult it is. And lasty I wanted to ask if I can send this him a last msge to apologize from everything I said nd did wrong


          If you REALLY want to move on, forget the apology, and send the recommended NC message as outlined in the free breakup survival plan.

          I am sure that you are not the only one to blame for this breakup, some relationships just don’t work out.

          You have to have the courage to let them go, and move on.

          Take Care,


  25. Hi, I really need help.
    I found out about the no contact rule way too late, my boyfriend and I broke up 12 days ago and for the first 10 days I spammed his phone with texts and calls every time I missed him (he didn’t respond to me) is it too late now? I just need to know if the no contact rule is too late to follow now, I honestly do want him back we broke up over a misunderstanding and do love each other a lot. I believe it can be fixed but he doesn’t want to talk to me.

    1. Hi Nikki,

      Well. The good news is you didn’t break no contact, because you never started no contact.

      It’s never too late too get yourself under control, and leave your ex alone for a while to let him think.

      The even better news is, you came to the right place for help. 🙂

      Go read the free breakup survival plan, and sign up for my free newsletter.

      It’s not too late to get your ex-boyfriend back, but, it is too late to talk things over, right now.

      Read the plan, send the recommended NC message, and give your ex 30 days to cool down.

      The no contact rule works, if, you use it correctly.

      Take Care,


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