Real Life Breakup Success Stories
“Jane’s Success Story!
It has been just over 2 years since I started NC- so I wanted to write a proper update!
I’m sure it is quite clear from my NC diary that I stopped being interested in reconnecting with the past a long, long time ago-I moved on!
Things have been great AND it just keeps getting better and better! I’m so grateful that this break-up happened- with that ‘loss’ I gained so much, such as knowledge on men, relationships and life. Most importantly, I found out about LOA and I’ve been using it consciously to attract what I WANT into my life! Success in all areas of my life! In terms of university, self worth (confidence, not only did I get my ‘edge’/inner strength back, but a whole new level of SOARING CONFIDENCE) and yes- the Universe may also have delivered a new love and relationship.
So, how can my success story help you? Here are some points:
-Being in NC is very difficult- at first, the first month is especially the hardest- but you’ve got to stick with the plan! Scott has made this forum and provided the tools, but it is up to you how you use them-make the most of it and also post in the NC diaries of others- when giving advice to others, you gain a different understanding of your own situation.
-Other people can tell you all you want- but you will have that turning point, being in NC forces you to take of the ‘love glasses’ and truly evaluate the relationship for what it was, your partner and you. I decided after a few months in NC, that a reconnection wouldn’t be necessary- so cry a river, build a bridge and get over it.
-Your ex is also likely thinking about you- my ex tried to ‘snoop’ around after a few months in NC- just ignore any of their attempts- keep re-sending the NC message until it sticks! NC gives you the control back over your life.
-This is a working forum- so it might be okay to occasionally be negative in your NC diary- we are all human, it happens, but find a forum buddy to vent- trust me, it will help a lot- and especially if it is one of the opposite gender-so you get a different look at the relationship! Also- you know you’re truly evolving, when others find your NC diary an inspiration and you are asked to become someone else’s forum buddy!
-Lastly, this part is the hardest part, but, you must do this otherwise you will be here again. And that is to truly evaluate what your part was in the end of that relationship. Use the time in NC to make yourself stronger in every way-your personal evolution- don’t try to rush the process.
Thank you to everyone on here, you are ALL such amazing, beautiful and strong people, who deserve nothing but the best! And I especially want to thank Scott, I am so grateful to have had the honour of meeting you and this forum was such a help when I needed it.
The most important act is to get your happy self ”back” as Scott says, because once you do that, everything falls into place. It’s magic!
One last message- remember, we never stop evolving and if you use your time in NC to make yourself strong, powerful and work on yourself, we come out as Kings and Queens who rock this world-badass.
Keep strong and positive!
“Hi lovely people,
Has been a while now that I have been here. Let me share the most beautiful thing that happened to me. Yes!!! I got married this February. When I joined this forum around Sep 2012, I was a shattered man. But Scott and my fellow buddies on the forum helped me get back up on my feet again, led me to believe in myself and get my life back.
I met my wife a year back and from the start I had a feeling that this is meant to be and has the signs of turning out into something really beautiful and amazing. We fell in love and realized that we couldn’t live without each other. We got married on Feb 24, went to Seychelles for our Honeymoon and today we have completed 6 months of our married life and it’s the most exciting phase of my life.
I thank heavens, I thank Scott and all you lovely people. I owe you all my life and my happiness. Remember folks, be strong and never lose hope. Everything that happens, happens for the better. Let nobody put you down. Believe in yourself and find your happiness. Love will eventually find you.
I will keep visiting you all through this forum and cheer you up. Lots of love.
Hope all our good wishes be with you always Senor! You are really an amazing person that I got to know.”
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“Hello, beautiful people!!
In 2010, I joined this forum as a grief-stricken seventeen year old, trying to figure out exactly what I could do to win my ex-boyfriend back. Obviously, this is a flawed way of thinking; I was just so horribly naive about all of this as a teenager who lost her high school sweetheart. I had *no* break up experience at all, and that’s why I joined this forum four years ago.
Fast forward a little bit: After a life-changing journey of NC, with the help and guidance of all of my friends on this forum, I was FLOORED when my ex-boyfriend came crawling back to me! Discipline gives you results. You have to WANT to be happy again, and then you have to make a plan, and then just do it. I posted my success story and then disappeared for awhile to pursue school…
..And three years later, I’m coming back as a success-story veteran to announce my ENGAGEMENT!!
My sweet boyfriend proposed to me earlier this semester! WOW!!! This is my high school sweetheart…that rascal who shattered my heart during my senior year of high school when he broke up with me…The same punk who made me so sad that I had to join this forum…Haha! That seems like so long ago. Yes, he’s going to be my husband! You better believe he’s an AMAZING boyfriend now! I wouldn’t settle for any less, as you would see from my NC diary I get goosebumps just thinking about him; My heart just melts when he is around me; and that is something that never changes. You just KNOW when you’re right for someone! It’s an amazing feeling! (I’m just SO happy!!!)
It’s true! I never believed in a million years, when I was seventeen, that I would even get CLOSE to getting that boy back. You can tell in my diary, as I tried to illustrate every step I took to get to where I was in the end. My story just proves that if a man or woman truly, truly wants YOU in his or her life, you both will make it happen in the end. I’m only 21-years-old now, and we are not rushing this at all….our engagement will last awhile so we can finish our undergraduate careers…but I can say with complete confidence that this is the man for me!!
Let me be proof that age doesn’t matter; if two people’s souls were meant to be together, they will find a way to leap over every hurdle after a break up to be together. Starting at seventeen years old, I followed NC, and I can tell you that NC was a life-changing journey for me in all of the right ways! But how did I get here? I’ll get to that in a moment
I have to emphasize the great amount of development in this man. He truly evolved! The most exciting part is that this sweet boy just showers me with soooo much more effort and affection than he did when he was a silly 18-year-old. He’s grown so much. I’m so proud of him! He has stepped up and realized that I’m a kickass lady, a total catch, and he wants me for himself! <3 He’s sooo in love with me now! It is clearly defined in his mind and he knows he only wants me. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world with him. It’s so hard to believe that there was a time he didn’t want to date me; you wouldn’t be able to tell today <3 His eyes smolder when he looks at me (it’s like he’s looking right into my soul!); he’s so gentle and tender with me; he’s such a gentleman at all times; he a risk taker at all of the right times; he’s taken an active role with becoming one with my family; he calls me daily/sends me letters/plans surprises for me (we’ve been in a long distance relationship to finish college, but I’ll get to that in a moment); he remembers all of the little details that I used to agonize over when we were high school sweethearts; his life is completely compatible with what I want to do with mine; and I could go on and on….but let’s get to the part you’re probably wanting to hear–how did I attract him back as a husband?!
I’m 21 but here’s what I learned in a nutshell!
If you’re seeking something like “How do I attract my ex back?” then I think you’re focusing on the wrong thing. They key to becoming attractive to the RIGHT person (whether that’s your ex or whomever) is by being you. Be unforgiving of who you are. That’s the key! They just have to take it or leave it–you are a beautiful individual and you have to let that shine through! Embrace who you are. Really become one with yourself and examine why you love yourself. Once you find that love of yourself, you love your life, and it radiates on everyone around you. NC is a journey where you search for what exactly you’re missing within yourself…and when I found that piece, my ex came crawling back! So, I didn’t do anything to actually manipulate him into wanting me. Those are just games…and I thought games are what you had to do back in high school. Well, I learned from Scott and my friends here that, if I selfishly focused on myself and evolved into the woman I wanted to become, then I would finally become happy again. I decided to treat myself like the goddess I believe I am..and once I was HAPPY without him, I had become happy with myself…and that’s when he wanted me back! Double win!
Even after I stopped posting on the forum, I have never given up on this drive to be the best woman I can be. That’s something that I learned in high school and simply has become a part of me. During my freshman year of college, I had become his girlfriend again. I sat down and evaluated what I wanted out of life (to devote my life to medicine) and fearlessly made my way to my goals. I didn’t even worry about a boyfriend–I wanted to change the world using MY talents, whether a man followed me into my life or not. I was elated to be his girlfriend, but I never let that change my goals! Medicine is a lifetime commitment, and if he was going to follow me down that road, then he was welcome to. I never let the fear of losing him change my decision to do what I wanted in the world I just had to continue driving myself towards my dreams. Well, my new fiery ambition is what really glued my boyfriend’s interest.
We had to work out our long distance relationship after reuniting, but that wasn’t very hard to do. He was convinced that we would never separate again. I certainly believe that will be true He is supportive of me every step of the way, and he’s been an INCREDIBLE man for this entire time!! I love him so much
Life has a way of figuring itself out sometimes…
I learned to listen to your gut feeling throughout this process. And I can say with complete confidence that my gut feeling tells me this is the guy for me!
But never lose sight of what makes YOU happy. It’s that self-satisfaction and self-confidence that will really attract the right person. It takes different amounts of time for everyone…so don’t rush it…just enjoy the ride. I look back on my diary with a great feeling of bittersweetness. I wish I had been nicer to myself when I felt like a loser, haha. Just be patient…and take it day by day.
Oh, and I will be beginning medical school in the Fall of 2015. That’s also something really wonderful right now. So, there ya have it Ta-da!
(Please pardon any typos-I have to go back to studying! haha)”
“Hey, I have been meaning to write this success story for over a year. I couldn’t get onto my account at first and kept meaning to sort it out but always pushed it back. I feel like my story hadn’t ended until I came on here and told you how I am now, also to say thank you.
Scott, I cannot thank you enough for your help. I was an 18 year old girl very close to suicide. You literally saved my life. I at first thought you was too hard on people but it is the best thing you can do. If you wasn’t like that I would of kept breaking No contact all the time. Thank you Thank you Thank you
3 years ago I came onto this forum a complete mess. My first love, first everything had broken up with me after 3 and a half years. We had grown up together and he was literally my ONLY friend. I had made this boy my everything and never thought he would leave. When he left I begged and pleaded, said how much I would change. I was offering him sex as if that would make him stay. He ended up shouting down the phone at me telling me its over.
I started googling how to get my bf back. The first one I found was this one. I signed up and sent the NC letter straight away. I would sit on here and read the success stories over and over again, thinking that mine could be like this one. I broke nc once and it made me feel awful. It reminds me of a drug, you feel like you need it so bad so take a hit, feel relieved for a bit and then regret it. I think that feeling stopped me from repeating the same mistake.
I honestly thought he would contact me within a few weeks and we would get back together.. he didn’t contact me until 2 years later. I randomly got an email saying “hey hows you? x” there wasn’t an email address just a number. I didn’t know who it was and didn’t think it would be him at all. I texted the number back and asked who it was and he replied with his name. I felt my heart sink and didn’t reply till hours later. We got talking and he was telling me about his job and things, just general conversation. He then wrote to me the next day and started apologising for how he treated me. I said there is no need to apologise. A couple of weeks later he was telling me how him and his gf broke up because she apparently cheated on him. I felt … nothing. I didn’t feel jealous knowing he had a gf. That is the moment I knew I was over it. It is strange but I never knew completely if I was over it or not until that moment.
He has asked to meet me many times but I honestly just don’t want to. He called me at 3am and asked me to come outside. I said no because everyone was a sleep. He started saying how he is so sorry again and how he loves me. It was everything I wanted to hear 2 years too late. Again I felt .. nothing.
I put this boy on a pedestal. When I think back at the relationship I realise that I wasn’t happy myself. He would lie and cheat and I stayed with him because I was lonely. I wouldn’t have broke up with him because I was weak. So I am so happy he did it. He is now a party boy who has apparently gained a lot of weight. I feel better then I ever have.
If I can get through this then so can you. Im sure plenty of you have friends you could go out with to take your mind of things. Or had a job. I had anxiety problems so I would just stay indoors all day and I STILL got through it.
Thank you Thank you Thank you
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“I am happy to announce that I am through with the whole thing.
It does not longer hurt, just a feeling of sadness about the bad times I passed but…. there are over now!!
Also is true that I have learnt so much from all of it. Learnt through pain but that is the best thing we can do with pain!! That it worth for something.
When I read my own words in this forum I cant believe in what a desperate state I was. I feel so much compassion for myself.
And I tell you … the guy was nothing to sorry for about losing him… It was to be happy about not seeing him anymore.
So it is all true no contact helps, because in such a toxic situation like I had, any little bit of a resemblance of the relationship makes you sick, and you want to feel good!!!
So keep no contact no matter what!
Another great thing: a found a great man to share my life with. He is just what I wanted. In february I wrote a list of how the ideal relationship for me would be and now I have it.
We just began so it is to see how it goes but for now … all look great. I went slow in the begging, and I am happy about that.
I din´t expect that to happen I thought it would pass a year a more till I would be ready to start anything. I explain him that maybe it was too soon to start something but the chance was there and he is a great person and treats me so well and with so much respect that I decided to go for it.
Keep it up!!! Your life deserve to be lived fully and joyfully.
Good luck to all of you!! We all deserve the best.
“I haven’t been on for about 10 months now, and I wanted to post my success story. A year and a half ago I found this site a broken person. I followed Scott’s plan sometimes wavering at first but it got easier as time went on. It was HARD, I felt everything you guys do, sad, angry, hopeless, depressed etc… I followed the plan to get myself back not my ex. I knew once a cheater and I could not trust her again, ssooooo I worked the plan with determination. Scott, I just don’t know how to thank you my friend. I literally can say you helped save my life. I was at the lowest time in my life when I first got here. The tools you gave me to work with and self-help material are phenomenal. I want to thank you for being brutally honest when you had to be and understanding when I needed you to be. Guys Scott’s plan works, when I first got here I thought I will never feel normal and be able to love again. I took my time, I didn’t jump into anything with anyone, I worked on myself. When I was ready I went out on a few dates and then BAM! It happened a friend I’ve known for a few years made her presence known to me. She know’s the whole situation with my ex and was sitting back waiting for me to get back to me. So, we are dating and I am still using the tools Scott gave me to set boundaries and take care of me. Also, thank you to all members for your input and advice. I appreciate you all very much, you have all touched my life and I will never forget this experience we went through.
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“Oh my… it has been ages (2 years) since my last post on my NC diary…I cant beleive so much time had past!
But i Guess it’s about time for me to give back to the community…per say =)
So dudes and dudettes…
Since my last post, a lot of things had happened… but for a short summary (just the jist) of what happened to me… here it goes
GF broke up 2 days before the new year 2010. Sent NC message after i found this site and read the ebook…i felt i was ready to make contact 2 months after NC letter and guess what? it all went to hell (or not). She expressed that i could have made contact earlier instead of leaving her all alone to tackle the break up bla bla bla and woudnt talk to me anymore and “lost all respect for me”…so that was the nail on the coffin on that chapter…
then a new begining (no, not starwars)
Between my last post and today…well, i have grown so much that when I went back and read my NC Diary, I just couldnt beleive that i was the one who wrote it!
Here’s what happened:
* i started to pick up an old sport activity (table tennis) that i have left out for so long and now im playing in the 2nd division…1 level below the proffs!
Started training in the gym…got very fit
Joined Couch Surfing…was able to meet all kinds of people from all over the world and all of them had in a way help me appreciate the variety of people and culture around the world and it showed me no matter how different our backgrounds are, that we could still be very good friends
hanged out with old friends
and a lot more!
and … drum rollll…..I MET SOMEone!!! yeah!!! hi 5’s
Thing is, while most were sugesting to date other people, I felt it was a waste of time since i knew it wasnt going anywhere so i droped the whole thing and started focusing in how to be a better person than who i was the day before. The was always was to find the person I was before i met my ex…that happy boy who somehow got lost …. I found him…it took time but i found him and boy does it feel GOOD!
the whole finding myself took a total of 6-8 months after the NC Letter… at that point, I was trully happy! I didnt need to look around or from others to be happy. I was very comfortable with myself and CONFIDENT! it was such an awesome feeling…
So there i was, being happy….not looking for a girlfriend….then BOOM there she was =)(lets call her NEW Girl)… and she is just amazing, i could not beleive i was pining on my ex during those dark times! amazing
I met New girl through a friends party and we started talking and just had a supper good time…then I asked her out on a date …and then it snowballed from there… now we have been a couple for ca 2.5 years LONG DISTANCE!
I asked her what attracted her to me most and she said that she never say someone that was so enthusiastic and at peace with everything…ever! and she thought she would like to find out about it
Yes it is a long distance like my failed relationship bec she was an exchange student (i from norway, she from germany)when i met her. But the thing is Before we agreed on a LDR we SET some ground rules (this you should do) most importantly, we sat a time frame to when our LDR is gonna end (next year feb)….i think it is important to have a goal in your relationship and not just “lets see where this gets us attitude”….
We usuall see each other 2x a month (i go to her every month and she comes to me every month for a weekend…lots of flight points now) but since it my exam perion this december i havent seen her for 2 months but shes comming tomorrow until the 24th then on the 26th i go to her place until after new year =)
The best avice i Can give you is FIND YOUR OLD SELF…Be that happy person you were before and continue to grow as a persong. You dont NEED anyone to be happy. people will gravitate to you more if you have happines to share rather than taking happines from others. this might sound cliche but its TRUE!
read the ebook and stick to IT no matter what…NO MATTER WHAT!!! you have evrything to gain and nothing to loose….even though its hard to see during your dark days…Listen to us who had made through those trying times…dont debate beacause you DONT KNOW better…yet =)
peace and LOVE to all you guys….MERRY CHRISTMAS and I wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR adn a NEW BEGGINING!
“Wow guys it feels great to be back. First of all, I want to say many many thanks to Scott Williams for this forum Love love you so much for you made me realize my worth.
Its been over a year and I had to come share my progress with you all. When I broke up with my ex i was an emotional wreck and very vulnerable. I though i would never heal and I let him mess with my self esteem. I finaly got back on my feet.
For all of you going through break up please never give someone else the power over your life and happiness. Love yourself enough to realize your worth. I know deep inside you know you might be in a destructive relationship and trust me they are not worth holding on to. Please please love yourself enough to save your hearts from heartache. If a relationship is not working out…LET IT GO!!
Kindly go through my diary and follow my story. My ex did leave the lady he had a child with and I came to realize later that they were not married. We met severally, him wanting reconciliation and each time I turned him down. Had a drinK with him 2 weeks ago and I felt like slapping myself wondering what i ever saw in him. You know y?
I met a man who loves me to death. Met him in 2010 while i was still with my ex but i could feel the connection. He asked me for my number,i refused and earlier this year he sent me a friend request on Facebook after i commented on a mutual friends status. We met up and started dating. He proposed on October 20th and our wedding ceremony will be on June 18th, my birthday.
My ex heard from a mutual friend that i was engaged and requested we meet up 2 weeks ago and he goes like i tricked him into leaving his girlfriend for me and now am marrying someone else. I was like bitch please. I don’t care anymore. All that matters is my fiance who loves,respects and appreciates me.
Going through my diary i am surprised at how weak and emotional i was,it seems like decades ago and i don’t have any more pain in me. I am happy and content. I love you all.
Keep strong and LISTEN TO SCOTT WILLIAMS!! ”
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“I wanted to follow up with my success story from quite awhile ago.
I joined this forum over 2 years ago, after my boyfriend (of two years at the time) broke up with me after a serious fight we had.
I was crushed and searched online to find any kind of advice I could to help me get through the night. I found this site and it helped me put the situation into perspective.
On September 26th of this year, I got married to the same man who had broken my heart all this time ago.
We had a very long engagement and never broke up again after reuniting. Our break up lasted exactly 2 months and I stayed in no contact (after breaking it twice) for the majority of this time.
I know this website helped me “get my ex back”, which is why I still check in every now and then. I read through the no contact diaries and can feel the pain the writers are experiencing because it is the exact same pain I went through.
I know that no contact works because it led me to the conclusion that brought my ex back to me:
I realized, through this forum nearly 3 years ago, that if my ex didn’t come back I would be okay. I got myself out of bed and started doing things. I put him out of my thoughts, knowing that I would rather have him wonder (if he was going to think about me at all) about what I was doing, instead of giving him the power of knowing that information by breaking no contact, especially when it wasn’t going to be reciprocated.
As soon as I moved on emotionally and mentally, he came back into my life. He has never left since that day.
Our break up was serious. He was never coming back and I was forced to face the fact that I may have to live through another failed relationship. I have always thought each person I was with was “the one” so each break up I have ever endured has been painful. I thought, at the time of our break, that I was doomed to repeat a horrible cycle that always ended horribly. I had to question if I was upset over losing him, or just upset over losing the relationship. Even after we got back together, I made sure I knew the answer to that question before I agreed to marry him. He is “the one.”
Once we made the commitment to give it another try, and to stick it out through thick and thin, we have never wavered. The happiest day of my life was speaking our vows to each other, a very surreal experience as I think back to what I almost lost all that time ago: both myself and the love of my life.
The bottom line is that Scott’s message, and that of this site, is truth. If you want to kick love’s ass, then you have to shift your focus back onto yourself. Stop making it a contest to win back the affection of another person. Realize that you have complete control over everything, including how you feel in this very moment. You can’t control the actions of another person, but you can control how you react to adversity.
Once you show that you have complete control over your own happiness, then you will become a magnet and attract all the love you could ever want, and in almost all situations, from the person you want it from the most. It is not something that can be faked; although, it is possible to “fake it til you make it.” Therefore, breaking no contact just to say you have moved on is self-defeating. It has to be shown and believed – by both parties.
Both my husband and I come from broken families, so we have very realistic views of the fact that marriages don’t always last. But, as of today, I have complete faith in the fact that the break we had was necessary and a crucial part of our history as a couple. No matter what the outcome of your relationship. you will come out on top if you shift your focus entirely back to yourself.”
“Hi All, I’m back after a couple of months to share my success story. Life is very different from what it was 6 months back. 6 months back everything about my life felt wrong….. I was out of yet another shit relationship, I hated my apt, my career was going nowhere.
I spent hours sat up on my bed till late in the night…. alone in my room, crying, trying to be strong, hurting but not breaking NC and taking the small baby steps towards my self evolution.
6 months later…. I can’t even rememeber those dark hard days. I interviewed and got my dream job. A great career path and a promotion. Better salary and loads to look forward to. I met the most generous loving man who loves me like crazy and supports me through eveyrthing.
I moved into the most amazing place with this amazing man. Our new apaartment is way beyong anything I could have even imagined.
I am busy, happy and thankful. We both share dreams of spending our lives together and having a family in the future.
I will not waste any space and time talking about my ex, apart from the fact that it has taught me to not waste any more of my precious life on loosers who don’t deserve me.
We all have it within us. There is no reason to look for power or strength or happiness anywhere else. There is also no reason to blame others for your miseries. We are a result of the choices we make and we all have the power to change what is pulling us back in life.
Don’t be lazy and don’t try to take the easier path. Stand up for yourself and fight for your happiness. Love and respect yourself and the first step to doing that is to dispose of people in your life who don’t love and respect you.
I want to thanks SW for having this forum. I remember the lowest points in my life when I had no where to go and I logged into this site and got strenght to keep going from here.
I will keep logging in and will try and help others the way everyone here has helped me
Good Luck Guys ! Remmerber .. one life. We will all die in the end. It’s upto you how you spend the precious time you are gifted to enjoy it.”
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“I am finally back on post, terribly sorry for not updating myself for quite some time !
In a nutshell, I moved on, gave myself a jump-start and hopped forward. I am living a new better life with never-ending blessings. Taking a day at a time now, and I am enjoying my stroll !
Above all, I am deeply in love with someone ( not the ex ) and he is someone that I used to dream about. Just like what SW quoted, and what LOA stated – your attitude attracts the things that come into your life ! I rebuilt my life, I focused on my career, and my life, a gentleman ( who is currently my bf ), came into my life when I least expected it ! After when I healed myself, recovered from the past experiences and heartbreaks, I gave myself a chance to go for a date… and it worked out. I believed it worked out because I cleared all the self-issues I had, until I am ready to date again. I refused to date for any petty reasons of being lonely, or just because I needed someone. I went out with him because I was totally ready – that was about 2 months after the first approach. My new bf is the man I used to dream of having…. to really wanna have as my lover, my bestfriend and my soulmate. He definitely is. We are taking things at its pace. The past relationship has taught me the do’s and dont’s, and all the self-help articles really helped me in order to enhance myself to be a better person. (:
About the ex, he is all my past. Guess who is trying to text me back or ? reconcile. The ex. Time really flies, it has almost been a year plus and I am really glad that I followed and I do still stay with NC because I got my route back on track. One way or another, I just don’t feel like talking back to the ex, and that doesn’t matter anymore isn’t it ?
To those who are in their NC period, do stick with it. LOA really helps as well. Believe in it, get your life back on track – you will attract the person, that special person when you don’t expect it at all. Life is too short to ponder on all the negative things. Forgive them and embrace every little thing that hits your way. Frankly speaking, I have never thought I’d reached to this point of getting a new perspective on life. I am really grateful that I found this site, and it really motivated me to pick myself up again and move on.
Stay positive, and SW ( you’re the man ! ), and my fellow forum friends, I owe you guys a lot ! Thank you for everything ! I am hoping all will turn out great for each and everyone of us !
Last but not least… I kicked love’s ass !!! ”
I joined the forum 2 yrs ago after a messy breakup w/ my ex. I haven’t updated my journal for awhile but now I want to come back and share good news with you.
My life got so much better after NC. I met so many friends, had new job, travel different countries… After so many months passed, and I had completed let go of my ex.. I started dating with other guys, but none of them turned out to be official. They said magic happens when you truly let things go… 2 yrs passed, somehow my ex tried to find me again thru this social network site and we started dating like a new relationship again. It has been so wonderful, our relationship is so much better than before. I guess I’ll call him my bf not an ex anymore.
We’re still taking things very slow and just want to be light and fun, which we both very enjoy.
The moral of this NC plan is to love yourself and evolve to a better person. Please have faith and believe that life/the universe rewards people who fight for their happiness…big surprises are around the corner!!
Last I want to thank Scott for creating this site. This place is magical! Please believe the plan and please read The Power! This book is amazing!!
Be strong– as always.
Wish you all happy and healthy.
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(Newsletter Subscriber) BNFavored Wrote:
Where to start? Yes, I have had a chance to review you reports, read your blog some more as well as most of the NC diaries and success stories. Thank you for keeping those emails coming my way. If I had known I would have progressed this much already in such a short amount of time I wouldn’t have been scared to let go way earlier. I haven’t broken no contact since sending out that initial NC message. I’m glad to report that I now have more control over my thoughts and emotions. Every time I have a negative thought in my life I find myself speaking out loud a positive word to cancel out the thought and also to call out positive things in my life.
Since sending that NC message it sure did flip a switch in me and gave me this sense of empowerment. I now have restful nights, I go out of my way to do something nice for me, I stare at myself in the mirror with a big smile and tell me how beautiful, radiant, energetic, strong, fantabulous (my word), sexy, valuable, intelligent, amazing I am! I just got me some self help books that I can’t wait to read (Become A Better You, Everyday A Friday, It’s Your Time, Your Best Life Now, all by Joel Osteen) including a set of audio I Am declarations that I listen to each day.
It’s amazing how when you let go doors just start opening up. I was traveling for work (this is after initiating NC) and I see this guy… drop dead gorgeous and I just smiled to myself and kept doing my thing as I went through security (airport). This guy was now behind me and I was like dang… wish he’s on my flight! So I turned smiled and said hello and walked away. I got to the the gate and guess who I see there…. him. Anyways… fast forward…. we got on-board and of course we’re flying together. My colleague from work that I was with was daring me to go up to him and talk to him so I took up the challenge. I kept it short like a minute and walked away. My colleague was dying to know what he had to say so I was like he said something about playing football I think he said the giants. She had already stormed out to him before I could say another thing. Long story short he gave my colleague his phone number to pass to me which she did. Well he plays for the Jets… (well I know nothing about football so I was like oh ok… like no big deal) Anyways, I haven’t called him yet… Now that’s something different about me that I’ve noticed since my evolution. Before I would have called him the same day or the next but now I’m like meh…. it can wait.
Then yesterday, one of my girlfriends tells me she got a great guy for me and sets me up with this guy. He went out of her way to “sell” his great attributes and whatnot and gave me his number trying to get me to call him up. She said she gave him my number as well. She has never done this before and this is like one of my best friends. So, yes, NC works! It’s like people are sensing something is different about me and I know it’s that flipped switch and my evolution has began! Oh, I thanked her but I wasn’t like omg omg omg I gotta call this guy before he disappears. (That was the old me) I was calm, relaxed, just smiled and switched off my phone and went to bed. She was surprised how different I acted. I also noticed that I now turn my phone off when I’m home and headed to bed.
I’m now getting my place in order and man, letting go is the best thing I ever did for myself! Thank you for helping me get this far in such a short time. Funny, I woke up in the middle of the night and caught myself smiling! Then closed my eyes and fell sound asleep again. This happened one than once! It had nothing to do with my dreams but everything to do with that sense of inner peace and contentment. Just knowing that everything will be A-OK! What didn’t kill me only came to make me stronger and my setback was only a setup for my comeback!
It has been a while since I joined this forum and written anything. The wonderful news is; I met someone so fabulous and too good to be true. I asked the universe to give me someone with the qualities I listed, it didn’t matter if it was my ex or another man, and waoh, this man came into my life.
He is in fact everything I asked for and more, loving, romantic, caring, good looking, etc. I got engaged last month (January) and the wedding takes place July this year. I`m also expecting bundles of Joy by October this year (twins)
What can I say my friends, thru this site I discovered more than I searched for. I learnt a lot from Scott, then he introduced me to LOA. The LOA now took me and my life to a whole new level. I searched for answers everyday and I found them. After I started living my life according to the LOA, it took me exactly 1 year and 2 weeks to meet this man, the love of my life.
The funny part is, we knew each other (as friends) 12 years ago, but he couldn’t tell me he loved me. I met him again 3 months ago, and he was bold and very sure about us. He reminded me of things I did those days that I had forgotten. He regretted not opening up to me before I left the country.
Well, all these while, someone great was waiting for me, and I had no idea. Everything about him and I are easy, I`m enjoying every bit of it. He said I have turned his whole life around. I get along well with his parents and siblings and vice versa.
He is very open to me and involves me in his life fully, Family, businesses and other things.
But I know my source of happiness is not from him or anyone but from myself; This is the most valuable lesson I learnt from the Law of Attraction LOA. Love thyself & be happy and all your heart desires must come to pass.BELIEVING IS SEEING.
Thank you Scott, Jasun, MelanieStryder and my other friends. It has been a journey, that turned my whole life around. This is just the beginning of great things to come for all of us. I`ll come by every now and then to read your success stories and give words of encouragement.”
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“So I’ve decided that it’s finally my time to post a success story on here. From when I joined this forum 13 months ago I’ve done a complete 180. I’ve surprised myself with how happy I can be and I’m loving it, and so is my new boyfriend.
If you’ve read my diary you might remember J, the really close friend I had a falling out with but got back with NC ( http://www.howtokicklovesass.com/topic/marie21s-nc-diary#post-53685 ). Well sometime before our falling-out it came up that we both had deeper feelings for each other, but it wasn’t the right time. I was still in pieces over my ex and he was jumping in and out of the Fruit Loops box on whether he wanted a serious relationship. Insert 5 months of weird not speaking to each other time followed by 5 months of NC, a non-traditional but (in my opinion) perfect for the situation reconnection, 3 months of getting to know each other and becoming friends again and………………….2 weeks ago he asked me to be his girlfriend!
When I joined this forum I was certain, 100% dead certain, that my success story was going to involve getting back together with my ex. Now I don’t even want to reconnect with him. I know through my journey of getting my life back I’ve become a better and a happier person, and one of the great things is that J’s noticed too. He tells me it’s like I have a force of good-vibes surrounding me and he can’t help but feel happy whenever I’m around.
Keep with the NC everyone, sometimes it’s hard, sometimes you feel like it’s not worth it but I PROMISE it is. You may not end up where you thing you’re going, but you’ll end up where you belong.
Also, for those who are running the numbers, cause I know the numbers seem so important when we’re first starting out: I only spent 5 months in NC with J, BUT at the time of our reconnection I’d spent 8 months getting my life back. That’s NOT how long I spent in NC with my ex, I don’t count the first couple months there because I wasn’t focused on the right thing. I was still a mess and wanting my ex back. I think the biggest hurdle in this whole plan is realizing that it’s about YOU and not your ex but that’s the most important piece in the puzzle. Get yourself back and you will be happy, with or without your ex, you will be happy and believe it or not you won’t care about your ex because you’ll have realized that you don’t need them to be happy.”
“I haven’t been on this website in probably two years. It was really strange to go back and see just how hung up on some girl that wasn’t even that great I was. To everyone that’s going through a really traumatic breakup read my NC diary and then read what I am about to say. It gets SO much better. Whoever you’re pining away for? Walk away. I know it’s hard, I know it sucks, but that’s the single best thing you can do. Send the NC message and WALK AWAY. Don’t text them, call them, instant message them or send them smoke signals. Each day you don’t talk to them will make your life a bit easier.
When that girl broke up with me I was completely devastated. I dropped out of college. I moved to a whole other city. I had no friends, no school, no job. Life looked incredibly bleak. But I made a pact to myself. To put myself first, to take each day at a time. To make a plan to further myself, not for her, not for anyone else, for me. I started exercising, I got a job working at a skate shop. Life wasn’t ideal but it was a step in the right direction.
Then I got a big break, an offer to work for an investigative services firm. I dived into it. I enveloped myself in work so thoroughly that I didn’t have time to worry about my ex. Then I managed to get into a top 15 university. I just graduated with a kick ass GPA, great work experience, and an offer to one of the most prestigious consulting firms in the country.
I’m not saying this to toot my own horn. I just want you to realize that there is SO much more to life than someone who doesn’t want to be with you. If I hadn’t gone through that awful breakup none of the things that I have accomplished would have ever come to fruition. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Pick yourself up, look in the mirror and say “I deserve better than this” Not from her/him, not from your friends or your family but from yourself. Take it a day at a time and use all that pain and anger as fuel. Prove just how wrong they were to let you go and before you know it you just won’t give a sh*t anymore.
Don’t believe me still? How about this…I’ve been with the girl of my dreams for six months. We don’t fight, we don’t argue. No drama, no problems. Why? Because you learn from your mistakes and don’t repeat them in your next relationship. You better understand what it is that you need to be happy in a healthy functional relationship.
To top it all off? That girl I pined over for a year and a half? Guess who’s calling me now to hang out? Funny how things turn out that way.
So to everyone out there that thinks things are hopeless, send that NC message. Stick to it, relish in it and take all that energy that you are wasting on someone that doesn’t deserve you and go out become more than you or they or anyone else ever imagined you could. I did.”
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“I sent the NC letter to my ex, and started the process back in April. I didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t keep up with my diary on here, but I kept sticking to it and kept moving forward. I was able to get over him in time. Along the way I started talking to a guy as friends. He knew about my past relationship and we knew we didn’t want to rush things. After 3 months of nonstop talking, we told each other about our feelings for each other, and he asked me to be his girl. About 3 weeks ago, my ex contacted me and said that he was “now wiling to hear me out”. This was on the day that my now boyfriend and I made our relationship known online. I simply didn’t say anything, and he hasn’t said anything either. I couldn’t ask for a better man or a better relationship. I don’t know if my ex thinks about me or regrets it, but I definitely don’t care anymore. I love the man I’m with now, and I’m glad I stuck to NC
P.S. I realized that in my first relationship, I was this mousy, too compliant person who needed more confidence. I can’t recognize myself from that person. I’ve grown a lot as far as confidence and the way I view this relationship. NC healed me not only from the breakup, but it also healed me emotionally, socially.”
“I know I haven’t posted on here a lot but I have read thru a ton of NC diaries and Success stories and they really helped me through some tough times, figured I would give back with a success story of my own that may make somebody else feel better during a tough time. I followed the plan to a T without breaking NC, and read MOMU which really helped me plan how I would handle the reconnection. This site also turned me onto the LOA and tons of other stuff that has helped me become a better person with a brighter future. That in itself has already proven to be more than worth any pain I went thru.
I found this site and initiated the NC message about 3 weeks after the breakup (when I realised at the time that breaking up was a mistake but too much damage had been done to get my girl back)
She sent me a couple of emails during the NC period which I just didnt respond too because I didn’t feel ready. After about two months I was doing great and had really come far in how much I had moved on and evolved, I knew I’d be more than fine without her and was just living life and having fun. She texted me out of the blue and after a short convo asked if we could get lunch, I felt confident that I was ready to take the next step in the plan and see what happens so we met up a couple weeks later. Lunch went great and we talked like old friends again, I forgot to do the particle wipe but we had fun catching up and nothing bad came up. I kept all further communication very short, light, and funny and about three weeks after lunch we hung out.
We had a great time all evening with no real mention of the break up until later that night when she started crying and telling me how much she still misses me and cant get over me and WAY more, much more than I ever expected. I tried to keep it light and I let her know Ive put it all behind me and dont feel any reason to talk about it, she had a bit of trouble letting it go and later that night said shed messed up and would do anything to have me back but I told her Im not making any rash decisions and Im just going to keep living my life and we’ll see what happens.
Oh ya and that night I stayed at her place and we did the hippity dippity!! ..cause Im a guy and thats what MOMU told me to do, honest!! So now were just taking it slowly and Ima try to see her sparingly, shes determined to “prove” herself to me and I’ll see if she can actually do it or not.
Thanks to everybody who participates on this forum and special thanks to Scott who is always the voice of reason among a sea of crybabies. Ive read posts where you say you don’t know whether you should keep this site up but honestly man your helping and bringing way more positive feelings to people than you know and its gonna come back to you 10 fold. So keep this site up and stay strong and positive!”
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“So atlast after around 9 months of sticking to the ‘free plan’,I have come out successful.
I broke NC a couple of times but our mighty SW was kind enuf to keep me not booted out off here.thank you SW…
My story took the other turn…..I didn’t get bak with my ex.
Neither me nor she had felt the spark during the reconnection times.
So my relation with her was not worth saving.It’s doomed to failure sometime or other.
Thank god for this break up at my younger age..(I’m only 23)..Otherwise she wud have fed me with enuf bullshits lifelong..lol
Lately I ‘m enjoying my single life.
I’m again feeling attraction towards other beautiful girls in my college.So my life is better than ever.It’s 100 times better than b4 I shud say.
My friends were telling me that so many gals are interested in me lately.
I think that must be coz of my improved physique and attitude.
So life is on a new path.I m not planning to get into a relation for a period f 3 years from now coz I think I shud focus in my career more.
Break up and her dumping was a wake up call for me.
I m happy that I m happy like hell to be on a different terrain.
I should say….
LIFE IS GOOD…..!!!!! AND IT’s TRUE…
Once again thanx everyone for all the support especially SW,Jaysun,Melanie,Sanj,Greens,etc etc….”
sorry I haven’t been on for a while, I’ve been soooo busy in work and life in general.
I arranged a coffee date with my ex as I had planned in my reconnection plan.
It went really well, I’m not sure if he has read MOMU but he did the reconnection technique before I did lol.
It took 47 days of NC (51 days since we broke up) for him to contact me. I really didn’t think he would make the first move, so NC really does work, he realises now I’m not a doormat! And I wont take any shit!
We have seen each other a couple of times since, a little more than I anticipated, however we will not see each other for a week due to work and pre-booked plans, so stepping back a little will be a good thing.
We are officially back together he wants to prove himself. He said he has made some bad decisions in the past and that he realised during out break up how much he really did love me and that he really missed me. He knows it was all his fault and said he will tell anyone who asks him that and that he will take it on the chin.
I think personally he had cold feet and thought the grass was greener and that I was completley so in love with him that I would phone,text email etc constantly when he broke up with me, of course I didn’t do any of that. And he didn’t bargain for that. I’m a lot stronger than he or even myself thought I was.
He is talking about going on holiday together and a weekend away in June, so lets see how it goes.
At the moment I am wary as to what the future holds, he still has a lot of ‘proving’ to do, but I believe everyone deserves a chance and this is his, if he doesn’t step up this time, in the words of SW it will be bu-bye! lol
As for now I am enjoying the time we have spent together and he is enjoying it too.
We went walking yesterday in the forest, it was really lovely.
Anyway NC and this forum kick ass. It has made me realise just what I will and won’t put up with in a relationship and that I can enjoy life with or without my now boyfriend again. I know this time around it will be different, because I am different and I think he is sensing that already.
I want to thank everyone on this forum for all your support,especially SW, KittyKat,George1980 and Allswell. I couldn’t have done it without you all. I have learned a lot being on here. I am a lot stronger in general and this forum was my saviour!
Bless you all!
lots of love BB xxxxxxxxxxxxx “
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(Newsletter Subscriber) Lise Wrote:
I can not thank you enough! I got my man back, after following the program. I made some mistakes during my struggle, but with your help and fast replies I managed to make him love me even more, an we communicate better than before!
Thank you sooooooo much!
My very best
I’m pleased to finally post my success story! It feels like the right time to do it. I wanted to post here to let people know that things will turn themselves around. Nothing is permanant. Things are always changing and you won’t feel heartbroken forever, it just feels that way right now. I know because i’ve gone through it all and almost one year since I split up with my ex and less than three months since complete communication ceased between us i’m in a better place. Actually, it’s more than better, it’s amazing and I don’t use that word lightly. This time last year I was very depressed due to the break-up, you could say near suicidal at one point and I can’t believe the difference in me now.
My ex has done me the biggest favour of my life because I wouldn’t have left him, I would have stayed and tried to make things work and I wouldn’t have realised how miserable I was. It’s only now that i’ve taken myself out of the situation that I can see that he really wasn’t right for me in any way as a life partner. I was a ‘rose tinted glasses’ case, completely blinkered by it all.
I’m seeing the most incredible guy right now and I really hope things work out. He’s really made me feel like myself again and that’s the way it should be. It’s a complete contrast to my ex. This guy is interested in me for ME. He wants to know all about who I am and he treats me like a princess. He isn’t emotionally stunted like my ex either. I know how he feels about me because he tells me all the time and it’s really nice. He’s a complete catch and i’m pleased I caught him. I hope it lasts, but if it doesn’t then he’s shown me just what i’ve been missing and I won’t settle for less ever again.
You will all get there one way or another. Don’t crumble and keep strong becauce there’s lot sof exciting things waiting for us all in the future!!!
Thanks for this forum Scott and thanks to all the fantastic people with brilliant advice on here!!! You’re all stars!! ”
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This time he picked me up from my house talked to my parents apologized to them for hurting me he said he never meant to hurt me, he was so lost and nothing was making sense in his head after he lost his job. He informed them and me that he was heading down the wrong path after I lost contact with him he thought his life was really over and he couldn’t stop thinking about me and he couldn’t come up with one day that was bad with me out of the 10yrs we have been together. He said he knows what he wants and that is me he wants to be hjappy and he knows where the happiness is… Everything I heard from him I was shocked so happy I mean I knew he loved me but he was just so negative before… So we are taking things slow I told him we will take it day by day and I wanna take it slow. I haven’t even put my engagement ring back on.
So everyone NC works and just have faith and really read into the LOA. Thank you everyone for all your support and honust opinions. Thank you so much SW for this forum and all your help.. Best of luck everyone;)
“Still trying to get over the initial shock…but after finally knuckling down and following this plan CORRECTLY…the ex confessed!
These past two weeks I’ve been thinking about this whole experience, and I realised, I’m just fine without him. I finally said ‘all this stuff, it’s the past. I’m letting go now.’ Then I decided I’m finally better off without him. I started to think about what kind of relationship that I would really like to be in – and not expecting anything less. I cut all my hair off into a stylish crop, bought new clothes, I’m in better shape and have an all-new confidence in myself. It’s safe to say nobody can ‘fuck’ with me now.
I was just chilling online last night, and he popped up – ‘can I tell you something?’ I said ‘Sure’..
‘I know I was a dick about the way I ended things I just thought it wouldn’t work out with you over there and me here. Aslong as you aint bothered, I don’t like not being able to talk cause I guess I still have a lot of feelings for you.
But I realize that I’m sounding like a stoopid asshole right now don’t worry haha’
My jaw dropped to floor.
I told him that it’s the past, that I moved forward. And that he’s not stupid for being honest with me.
‘you are the nicest and most beautiful girl I ever had, and i knew I’d regret doing what I did, cause it ended up in blood basically aha, infact, I should just stop cause this is just pointless haha.
Me – ‘why is it pointless?’
‘Cause you aint interested in me at all anymore. I just feel like a nobody’
I then asked him to come on Skype for a few minutes (webcam) for a chat, then wished him goodnight. He asked to see me tommorow (but my time is precious) so will speak to him again on Sunday.
I never ever saw this coming.
Now, I’m not rushing into this – it wasn’t like a big ‘oh I still love you too OMG I’ve missed you so much, let’s get back together and live happily ever after’. Oh no sir. I still have to decide whether I want to be with him 8)I’m going to go really slowly and see whether he is serious about this. If not, I’m alright anyway. I know what I want from a relationship and I expect nothing less. He needs to work for it.
In all honesty, all this took was letting go. Tell yourself that you don’t need them, that you’re just fine and imagine having the perfect relationship – that’s all it took for me. See them for who they are. And of course FOLLOWING THE PLAN. NC works because it gives them the opportunity to reflect on the breakup and grow too – I know if I’d just carried on the was I was back then clinging onto him for dear life, I never would’ve got to this point.
I thought my situation was impossible, and nearly got banned off the forum for raising havok with my negativity. But NC worked it’s magic. I’m only 16 years old, but I did the mature thing.
Thank you to Scott, and everyone else for being so supportive.
I’m not too over-the-moon, but pretty smug right now. ”
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“My ex-boyfriend CONFESSED …
He horribly regrets his decision to break up! He will do ABOSLUTELY ANYTHING for another chance!!
This whole entire time I’ve been on this forum, my ex has been struggling to live without me!! WHAT?
HELL YEAH!! I KICKED LOVE’S ASS with flying colors!!! I’M SO PROUD! I’m only 17 but look at what I’ve accomplished! I’ve learned so much about myself as an individual. Plus, I’ve mastered relationship skills to last me a lifetime!
The break-up had become the elephant in the room. We have been hanging out so much, but we had yet to talk about it. It all started with his question, “Can I ask you something? …Do you forgive me about last summer?”
I went silent for a few seconds…I knew this talk would shape our future. All I said was a soft “Yes.”
“You sure??” he asked. I paused…and replied, “Yes. I forgave you back in August [weeks after breakup]. I don’t hold grudges.”
In a nutshell, he said, “Breaking up with you was the worst decision I’ve ever made. I didn’t know what I had until it was gone. I’ve NEVER been so unhappy and depressed – EVER! Melanie, there’s no other girl like you. NO girl. NONE of the girls are like you. You’re the closest thing to perfect, and I don’t deserve you. (he starts to get really emotional) You deserve the best… I’m not good enough for you. You loved me with your whole heart..you really loved me, I was so lucky to have you..and I fucked it up!” He slammed his fist against a hard surface in frustration. “Dammit! and now it’s too late! I fucked up something so perfect!! If only I could go back… I’d never leave you! It was the time away from you made me realize what I had lost. And I’ll always regret it…I’d do ANYTHING for another chance…”
He would’ve confessed to me a month after the break up, but he was too afraid to say anything. This was after I sent NC the second time. He actually respected what I asked and let me be. (If you read back to when my ex texted me for the first time, that’s around the time when he really wanted me back)
“Mel, I miss you. I’ve never been so depressed. Some nights it got baaad… I’d pull out the pictures from our trips and I couldnt handle it anymore.” He’d also pull out the love letters I wrote him in the past. They made him break down at night because he missed me so much. He didn’t realize it back then, but now he knows I’m different from other girls… They’ve only liked him, but I had some real feelings for him. He couldn’t regret the breakup any more than he does now.
He’d said, “I’d actually look forward to school just so I could be distracted from the regret. I’ve been so depressed without you. I let go of something so special and now it’s too late…” He looked the other way and started to sob.
I asked, “What have you been doing up til now?” He said he’s been alone. That’s when I said, “I considered you gone. I deleted all our pictures, even from our trips [he cussed aloud at this]. I learned how to live happily without you. I started doing new things, meeting new people, and I improved my flaws. Now I’m really happy with who I am. I’m the old Melanie, only better.” He moaned “ohh now I feel even worse about this!!”
He told me that he realized what he had taken for granted. Like seeing me every day after school. He reminisced about how he’d come over to my house, and I’d completely free him of his worries. And now he doesn’t have that.
After his confession (which was much longer than what I’ve written here, he probably talked for an hour!) he kissed the tip of my nose. He said, “Sorry…I can’t help it.” I’m not sure how it happened exactly, but I decided to let him kiss me. I knew it’d make him miss me even more. So when the timing was right and it felt natural, we kissed. It was packed with emotion, forgiveness, longing, that kinda stuff. The perfect reunion kiss
He’d really do aaaaannnnnyyyyything! “What can I do!? Tell me what to do. What can I possibly do to get you back??”
I told him “You should.. give me time. I need to think about this. I have to choose what is right for me.” And he said, “Oh, sure sure, yes, all the time in the world.”
He’s never felt so much love for a girl before. His past girlfriends, he said, were silly crushes…But me? No…I was the real thing to him.
That’s a summary of the night, but there’s so much more. Before I got out of his car to leave, he hugged me for a long time. He said, “Just think about it…..and remember, I’m always here…” something like that. I told him goodnight, no goodbye kiss, and went home.
Thank you soo much Scott, especially when you told me to wait a month when my ex texted me. I was NOT emotionally ready for him, but now I am. This forum is phenomenal. I know for a fact I wouldn’t be like this today if it weren’t for everyone’s help here.
If you’ve broken NC, don’t fret. Just don’t do it again. After I broke NC, I sent another message, but I added “if it’s a friendship you’re looking for, we should go our separate ways.” I think that was the golden ticket. He missed me right after that.
Don’t be afraid that your ex will lose interest if you go NC for months. It’s true: if your ex truly has feelings for you, he/she will be waiting at the end of NC. It really brings out the true emotions of your ex. And mine always had feelings.
Let go of your ex… If they want you, they’ll ask for another chance when YOU ARE READY. If they don’t, then don’t waste your time. You have nothing to worry about because things will work out the way they’re supposed to. And who knows? Your ex might be madly in love with you at this second, but you don’t know. I never did…what a very pleasant surprise. But you must cut all ties at first. You have to commit to this plan if you want it to work. I think going NC is truly an investment for your future.
Just to clarify, I did not take my ex back that night. I plan to make him work for it. He better get me a badass present for my 18th birthday! But I’m not worried about it. He’s going to try his hardest to win me over.
Please read my NC diary to find out how I got to this point!
Most of yous don’t know me, but i was on this more than 1 year ago. I am writing this post to let you hopeless romantics like myself out there to know – never lose faith.
NC for 10 months – kept lose LD communication for months. Met up a couple of times when we managed to. More than a year after the breakup,.. he tells me all the things I wanted to hear (1 year too late that is..somehow they aren’t so relevant but it’s good to know anyway) and he asked if I would be interested in dating him again. Or reconnections were all very successful and we were both extremely happy and much more mature.
I was little frustrated because I have moved on and never wanted to uncover my feelings again. But the curious nature in me do want to get to know him, not through dating but as friends before I can give him any kind of answer – so far he is very patient and supportive. I realized the type of guy I really want and told him that I don’t know him well enough to say he is that type of guy – I do have new conditions.
Anyway, I don’t know where I want to take this but it is good to be in a position of my choice. I always had choices, the only difference now is that through NC I realized that I am in control of my self and I recognize my choice to be happy with or without him.
Take care everyone and stay strong!”
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“So I havent posted in at least a month. Ive been moving on with my life, following NC to the T, just working on me. I had Friday off from work so I took the chance to take some ME time and went anti-electronic on Thursday evening. No cell phone, computer, etc. Just time with myself reading, watching girly movies, etc!
This morning I walk into my office…only myself and another girl are working today (we are in a very small office). We are expecting my boss to come in any moment but we are both in the back kitchen chatting. I hear the door ring and walk up front and stand there shocked when I see who is staring back at me……the EX. He has never been to my office before. I probably stood there for a good full minute he and I staring at each other.
He asked me if we could chat alone. I said ok and we walked out into the lobby of our building. He proceeded to tell me that what he did was the biggest mistake of his life, he has missed me every day, etc, etc. It feels funny looking at him. My heart doesnt race anymore. My heart isnt broken anymore. NC has worked its magic on me.
He then asks me why I didnt respond to his email. Apparently he emailed me on new years eve morning to try and see if I would meet him to talk. I didnt respond so he knew he had to try to man up and see if I would speak to him in person.
He asks me to go to dinner. I say no, lets just go get some coffee…so we go off for coffee. He keeps trying to talk about the breakup and how bad he was, how he thought of me and missed me everyday…and when he got my NC message he figured I would never speak to him again and he went into the bathroom at work and broke down.
Believe me folks, this was a short term relationship. If this happened to me and all I did was follow the plan, then it most definately could happen to you (and probably will!). Just lsiten to Scott! Thank you for being there for me everyone!! I couldnt have done it without this place.
And dont worry. I am taking my time with this and deciding if this is what I want. I havent had time to think because I never, ever, ever expected this! I had no intention of starting a reconnection. This literally happened 30 minutes ago but I had to come and post to give the rest of you hope for the new year!”
“Hi all. I haven’t been on this for well over 6 months now, but thought I’d come back to let you know that after a year of breaking up I got my ex back and most importantly my life back which was key to us getting back together. It took a long time, but if you listen to Scott, you will get your life back. Key to my success I think was getting out and enjoying life again. I joined the gym, restyled my wardrobe, quit my job, went travelling and only when I started to enjoy life and be able to get to sleep without thinking about my ex, did he get back in contact. We took it very slowly – it helped that I went travelling for a month a couple of weeks after we started meeting up again – and started dating again for a few months before we officially started going out again. And now its really good, much better than before and I’m the one in charge of the relationship which is great.
I hope this gives some hope to some of you, as I remember how hard it is at the start. Please read my diary as I did everything wrong at first, but if you do keep to the plan you will get your life back.”
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“Hiiii all 🙂
It’s been exactly 4 months since my last time here 😯
You can imagine why I guess!
Well, after my breakup, I struggled for almost 2 months. I hated my life back then, but with the help I got here, I slowly started to evolve.
I followed the NC plan exactly, but he broke it several times (coming to my home, visiting me in the classroom).
I was in a really bad place back then, until I met another guy! .. Well he was an old friend of mine and we used to chat alot and enjoy the company, but there was no love between us.. At the same time I broke with my ex, he broke up with his ex too! 😯
We found comfort in each other and hanged out a lot to talk about the good old days.. till we realized that we FIT! I mean we really really fit like no one else!
We went out, had fun, did every crazy thing on earth.. and believe it or not, it was nothing like a REBOUND relationship
I reached a point where I had to set up my ex boyfriend with other girls so he can leave me alone! Apparently after the NC plan, he wants me again!
Sadly, now he’s not my man and I don’t want him anymore. I realized that I’m better off him and I deserve much much better!
Well I’m living my happiest days now with my current boyfriend (although the compatibility is sooo high we NEVER had a single fight in our 3 months relationship, not even small disagreement ) –> worrying sign, huh!
We decided to take it slow and enjoy the moment. I could never be happier ! The only thing that is bothering me is my ex showing up in my gym almost weekly and ask me about the new guy and if I’m happy or not.
I keep telling him to move on, and I set him up with few girls, but he’s really sad about us, and that’s the point that annoys me a bit.
Anyway people, cheers for the NC plan! I hope you all get your lives back 🙂 ”
“Let me just start off by saying that I started this journey in the beginning of June with little hope of getting him back. He hurt me so suddenly and did it so cowardly through AIM…I was devastated. My self-confidence was at the ultimate low and my entire family told me it was over and that he was never coming back. I was so lucky to have them knock some sense into me because I probably would have contacted and begged him right after the break up. They gave me some tough love and forced me to keep my dignity and let go. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. I wanted him and only him and couldn’t understand how he let go of me so easily.
I started NC the moment he broke up with me. It sounded so counter-intuitive to me and it hurt like hell. I doubted it every day and wanted to email him, but I kept my mouth shut. And I am so glad I did. I was doing NC for a month before I found this website and initiated the NC message when I did. Even though I wasn’t as active as I could’ve been with my forum journal, I kept my own personal journal which helped SO MUCH. Trust me, it’s not pointless to keep a personal journal where you can rant and analyze things. It speeds up the growth process and helps you find yourself.
I didn’t talk to him for more than 2 months during his entire study abroad trip. I dated some men in my workplace and started to feel desirable again. Even though I always had a hope in my mind for reconnection with him, I knew that I needed to keep a “moving on” mindset if I ever wanted a chance at a solid future relationship with him. I focused on myself and did things that made me feel beautiful and happy. I got my teeth whitened, worked extra hours to earn money just for myself, and I hung out with extremely supportive family and friends. At the end of the day I no longer blamed myself for the break-up and KNEW I didn’t deserve it.
I heard from his friends two weeks ago that he missed me and wanted to reconnect. I still stopped myself from expecting too much because I didn’t want to be hurt again. I liked being able to love myself without needing anyone else. I was stronger and knew the past mistakes of my failed relationship. I knew I could survive without him.
I reconnected with him yesterday. It was awkward, but I tried to keep it light-hearted by laughing and hugging him when I saw him. He couldn’t stop smiling and staring at me. He noticed little things like my new ear piercing and tan. I did the “imaginary particle sweep” on his face and we joked around during the remainder of lunch. However, at the end he broke down and apologized for everything he did. He said he took me for granted and started to wipe some tears from his eyes. He said he didn’t want to make the same mistake twice and told me he would make it up to me. He said he had it with being single and he needed the break-up to think things through and fully realize that the only thing he wanted was me. He couldn’t understand why throughout the summer he could never get over me. He couldn’t move on and I KNOW I have NC to thank for that.
Please, please, please hang in there, guys. Although there is always a chance that things won’t work out, please know that in the end you’ll be satisfied regardless because you’ll learn to love yourself and treat yourself right. Don’t expect others to give you love and make you happy. You owe it to yourself to do all those things with or without someone else. This website is a blessing and SW knows his stuff. Trust him.
I am so happy right now I can’t even express. I never thought I’d be able to win like this. I won and it feels SO damn good.”
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“First of all I would like to thank Scott and everyone on this forum. Your support and encouragement meant the world to me and I will never forget it.
I have my life back. I also, have my ex back, but not the ex who was the reason I came to this forum. An ex before him, hence why I have not been around. I have been carefully and slowly creating a new foundation, one which I started when I joined this forum. According to my ex, I am the woman he fell in love with, but even better. I am stronger, I am happier and more importantly I am more living life with a purpose.
In a couple of weeks, we are going away for the weekend, just the two of us. This will be the first time I will be spending the night with him since we both decided to give this another go a month ago. I didn’t write about it, because I wanted to be sure, and I wanted to act on my own instinct to see if I had indeed changed. In the past month, we have spoken on the phone once a week (if I was available, which sometimes I wasn’t so I would call the next day or a few days later sometimes getting a messages asking me if I was ok haha, not drop everything like I normally would), emailed maybe once a week, and saw one another twice (a drink for 20 mins, and lunch for 40 mins). I never stayed overnight with him as I knew what would happen as we have this sexual chemistry not matched by anyone I have ever been with, so I set that boundary and stuck to it. I will never have myself in that position again.
I also did the following:
Started NC and stuck with it, never giving in, continuously sending the NC letter when I was contacted, which I sent 6 times hahaha … that 6th time was the final straw for me and a light flashed on in my head. I realised then and there he was not going to change. And I was ok with it. I knew then that was it … and a sudden calm came over me. I can’t explain it, but trust me and others when they say, they know when their evolution has occured.
Wrote in my journal daily. Wrote letters that I would have normally sent but stashed them away, then the last weekend of each month if I had sent a letter, I would throw it away the night before bin day (that way I wouldn’t go back and get it because it was physically gone).
Sent emails to another email I owned so it physically felt like I was sending an email to my ex when I felt the urge. Obviously he never got it, but the action of sending it, was satisfaction for me.
Lived my life. Went to the gym, got creative, had lunch with friends, set challenges each week, wrote affirmations each week, cut my hair, got a new colour, brought new clothes, sprouced up my wardrobe.
Got to know my family more.
Gave my room a complete makeover.
Guys, please listen to Scott, he knows his stuff. I know in the beginning it feels like hell, but honestly over time it will get easier and things will happen as they should. Don’t rush this, and whatever you do, don’t freak out if you do break NC. Just pick yourself up and start again, it’s not the end of the world. We are human, not machines 🙂
I will still come back from time to time to see how people are. I had been reading people’s diaries still. If I have something to say, naturally I will say it. I’ll never forget this place … It’s the best forum on earth.
If anyone wants to PM asking for advice, I am more then willing to help. I wish everyone every success …”
“So me and my ex didn’t get back together. But guess what…I’m now in a new relationship, one that I think will last 8) Yeehaaaaaaaah!
I realised that after the reconnection, the passion that was once there simply wasn’t there anymore. I got in such a state asking myself “why doesn’t he want me?” and I drove myself mad with questions like this. Then I knew exactly what I had to do: let go.
I was fed up of crying, fed up of fretting and fed up of yearning for him. I realised it was time to move on. And that was it. Something clicked. I felt free.
Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a sudden realsation, i’d been building up to this for weeks.
My judgement had been clouded for so long: I was completely convinced me and my ex were meant to be together bla bla bla…the last words I wanted to hear was “let go of him, or, move on” but that was probably the best advice I could’ve got.
I started to forget him. I lost weight, changed my hair, bought new clothes, started going out more and got my teeth wightened. My confidence was back. I could live without my ex at last! And I’ve never felt so alive.
That’s when I met J.
Don’t think moving on with your life is losing, or your last resort when it comes to your ex. It’s simply freeing yourself of all the pain.
You have to ask yourself “is it worth it, like REALLY?”. No. It isn’t.
I dumped my ex. Twice. For the same reason. I WAS NOT HAPPY WITH HIM. Why chase something that doesn’t really make you happy anyway?
Doesn’t make sense does it?
I know it hurts, and I know you’re confused, but the old cliche is true: time really does heal all wounds. Or something like that 😉
Don’t think your breakup is the end of the road, I thought mine was, but at the end of that long dark tunnel was a nice surprise: Happiness.
Give it time, and don’t give up!”
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“When I started on this forum, I was crushed. I stuck by MOMU, and I planned my life right after the breakup, I followed Scott’s plan to the T. I acted fast, even though I was a wreck. I stuck on my guns to having my life back on track and you know what, I did it for ME.
MOMU was my manual, and friends plus this forum were my allies and support. I made a close support buddy with Jay. We made weekly goals for each other and made sure we kept to them. We talked about our feelings, our fears and strategized our lives. When it’s time for reconnection, we planned it together, from clothes to wear, how to behave (haha schemers!), how to push and pull during dates. And definitely tell each other to stay off physical until we get real commitment from our Exs.
And guess what? Both Jay and I got our ex’s back, around the same week! Hooooray!!!
I am still hoarding that bicycle and cycling off 3x a week as I had when I started NC. It keeps me sane, fit and feeling fabulous. Plus I get stronger mentally. And I get more days to myself.
So yes, Mr Ex and I are back together. :thumbup:
It was hard work for me, just to stay sane, but things turned around for me just because I did nothing. NC rocks, yes it’s tough but it’s good! ‘He who cares least has the most control.’
It’s taken me 2 and a half months since we broke up on 5th April, to recover, think and reassess myself. I have set ground rules with Mr Ex, (now Mr Probably Right) and totally turned around the game. I refused to be his punching bag, refused to be the doormat and I’ve kicked sense into him by taking my time to love and care for myself. It is true, by you doing this, people see the difference and the changes in you. Plus, you feel so damn good about yourself!
And the best thing is, Mr Ex has realized that I can live without him, but he can’t without me. He came out clean that I am his happy ever after! 😆
Thanks Scott for doing this forum up and constantly supporting us! This really helped us broken hearted souls! Hugs to Jay, Arastol, Pear1, CH and Leonine.
Please read my diary for my developments. Good luck guys, I’m out of here! :hurray: ”
“Success!!! We back together! I asked her out Saterday and she said she assumed we were together again but to answer my question,Yes!!!
Sorry to be away for so long.Heres how it went down.
After the last date and sleeping over at her house,we spent some more time together.We wnt on dates and ate out.Watched movies at her house and snuggled together.It was almost as if it was the 1st time we met.We have been very friendly to each other.We now spend our weekends together and have made plans to go away together in September to the coast.We have just spent 5 days together on leave.We are very much in the honeymoon phase and it feels really good.We have both agreed to try not make the same mistakes from the past.I tell you NC works people!It really does! I had a girl who was so fed up she wanted to try just be friends after 6 years…and then 1 month NC…and now she has had a total different attitude.Its only been about a month since we 1st met and we already back together.NC shows them how much they value you and vice versa.For everyone who is going through a break up…Try find yourself,even if its baby steps and you take one day at a time.It really helps to build you up and be your best.Even if you dont feel like it…just DO it.You will thank yourself later.
I want to thank my support buddys namely twinkletoes and lunarmoonie.Without you I dont know if I would of been successfull.Trust me people.Get a support buddy.If you dont gel with the person find one you do get along with,its important.Thank you to everyone else who has supported me and had kind or supportive words.
Scott thank you for the site and all the guidance.I know you do this for free and it takes your time.Thanks for bringing the site back up.I assure you everyone appreciates it!
Lastly but most importantly,Thank you GOD! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!
God promised I would get my girl back the night I went to church and learnt how to pray.That night I prayed I would get her back and 5 minutes later after 2 weeks of NC she smsed me.Thats a miracle from God.I put God 1st and I recieved a miracle.Please pray for your ex’s but most importantly put God 1st.He WILL help you.You have to mean it with your heart though and be geniune.My life improved after this.I love Him SOOOOO much!!!!!
Thanks everyone,I will still check in from time to time.I will try help where I can and see if my past experience will assist you.
Take care and God Bless!”
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“Hello there, i know i didn’t show up since a long time…around 3weeks but im back to tell ya about my Success story 🙂
i used to be in LDR with my ex,(Tunisia-Germany) and we were able to see each other only 4 or 5times a year :S but everything was fine anyway…and we were together for 2years.
i also asked her to marry me and she said yes, 3months later she broke up with me, i was completly broken, sooo damn sad, it was smthg tough as everybody in here know…it just destroyed me and i was not able to stop thinking about her even 1month later it was still tough and heavy…
but to be honest she dumped me like an old sock without even giving me a last face to face, she was hurting me sooo fucking much…and she didn’t care about it!
i started NC since the day she broke up with me…didn’t call beg or plead…NOTHIN…a around 1week later i found out about this website and i sent the NC message, she didn’t write me back, didn’t give any sign of life!it was clear for me…she didn’t want me back.17days after the break up she was talkin to me on msn saying that she found a secure way to send me back the ring, and i still don’t know how the conversation turned to smthg else…she was telling me she missed me sooo much, that she is still in love with me, that she didn’t want to lose me…and i found the chance to ask her WHY she dumped me, she said it was because of my jealousy, because of distance, and she was not feeling enough free anymore, yes i guess i did…in a fight both of the partners are guilty. and if you don’t realise that you wont go through anything!i made mistakes…and when i realised that i was feeling fine again. i accepted what happened…i was trying to convince her to give us a second chance because everybody deserves a second chance…and she said she needs to think about it, i gave her enough time, few days later i asked her the same question again ,she told me she wont come back to tunisia that she will wait for me till i finish my studies and move to europe for her, i told her it will take like 1year before i move there, and she said she is ready to wait for me anyway!it was clear for me that nobody is able to wait a whole year for someone else…it’s just impossible cuz at the first chance they will move with someone else…and i was may be the one who’d find someone else!i explained her all this, and she said there is no other way…she also wanted to stay in touch with me so she wont miss me, all this was useless according to me it was probably a way for her to get over me even easily by not missing me!i let it all go…
i accepted everything…and made the decision to break contact forever…that was the day i realised i worth much more better, as soon as i changed my facebook status from engaged to single, a few girls were asking me out, and i realised again im still attractive and started to gain confidence and believe on my self again, i was totally fine, i got my self back and that was the more important, i was going out, meeting friends, playing paintball (my best sport) and organising too many things, like war games and excursions…it was sooo cool and i forgot about my ex, removed her from my msn, from my skype, deleted her phone numbers, it was over and i didn’t care about it anymore!
it was already victory …i was able to kick love’s ass ^^
since 1 week, my ex started to call me, but i didn’t answer, she called several times, but i still didn’t respond… till the day my best friend visited me, and she told me that she was talking to my ex and she was telling her that she wants me back, that she is still in love with me, that she made a big mistake, that she regret it sooo much,that all what she wants to is beeing with me again, my best friend was really doing everything to convince me to give her a second chance, she even told me that my ex is ready to take a plane and visit me for summer!
it was kinda weird but i had to think about it…the same night my ex called me and as soon as she heard my voice she started crying, begging and pleading to get back with me…she told me again she is still in love with me, and that she didn’t go out with anyone else, she just and suddenly realise she can’t be without me! and we spent like 1hour talking on the phone…
sooo yeah i told her im gonna think about it…now she is writing me everyday,telling me she loves me soo much, and that she was not able to send me back the ring and that she is wearing it again and it appears even more beautiful now lol…
whatever…now that the power is on my side im not gonna lose it that easily…i won’t show her she can throw me away and get me back that easily!
so i’ll take it soooo slow…
i know she is the one i wanna spend the rest of my life with…no wonder why i was not able to look to any other girl after the break up…
sooo i’ll work on it and make sure everything will be fine this time!
i want to thank every single one in this forum…you were helping me a lot, u made it less painful, i made friends in here, and many of you were always here for me!
Best wishes to RealMadrid (buddy i won’t forget what u always told me lol “REMEMBER WHO THE FUCK U R” haha , bettingforlove (thanks u), strawberry (thank u so much and remember u’re able to make it), fawwever (thank u and stay strong), shockwave1 (thank u buddy) And for sure my sweet support buddy akumaxayu thank u sooo much u’re the best 🙂
And special thanks to Scott who made all this Happen, u gave us hope, and u were kinda strict xD but it was only for helping us 🙂 thank u sooo much!
thank you all again and remember you can make it! NC works even in LDR situations…always remember this>>>im in north africa and she is in europe and i never used to visit her in her country cuz it’s not easy and i saw her 4 times a year…AND I GOT HER BACK!
i guess there is no worse situations! and NC worked anyways 🙂
even what looks impossible is possible, you just need the WILL to do it, follow the plan and stick to NC then everything will turn magic 🙂 and she will or he will come back crawling ^^
Please Keep the topic called “The NC tactical Squad” i’ve created on top, it’s probably stupid but it gave strengh to many of us 🙂 still a funny thing though xD
so here it is, time to wish you all good luck and hope i can hear about your success stories soon 🙂
i will show up from time to time and try to help as much as i can 🙂
All the Best,
ps: sorry for my spelling mistakes loool i know my english sucks xD
“Well everyone, I am a believer! Ding ding ding! Mark an “x” next to my name because I made it! I kicked love’s ass! :party:
If you read my break up story, you will see that I was stuck in a vicious cycle with my ex. I did it all to try to get him back and was doing it for almost 2 years! It got to a point that I was stuck in love triangle. He had moved on, or so I thought, and had not just one, but two relationships since our break up. This last one was “strong”. He had told me that the way I told him I felt for him was the way he felt for her! 😐
However, he knew that I was always there for him – NO matter what. I had said plenty of times before that we were done and all it took was some sweet talking and I was there again. He knew me and knew how to get me to do things for him. I was his prostitute. 😯 I thought I was keeping him close to me. That having him some times was better than not having him at all. I was so lost and soooo wrong! I was tired, weak, needy, desperate, sometimes even suicidal. I hit rock bottom. I loved this man and couldnt believe that he couldnt see that. That he opted to be with someone else. He gave me the lines that “he loved me and cared very much but was not in love with me anymore” and “i cant trust you”.
UNTIL I WENT NC!
My ex was gone so far down the “never coming back lane” due to all the stupid s*it I had done trying to keep him. I PUSHED HIM so far away that when I came across this website, I figured I really couldnt harm the situation any more by trying this. All that I had tried, all that I thought was the right thing to do, was wrong so there was nothing for me to loose doing this. If anything, I knew I needed the time for myself too. I had scooped so low that I was so grateful for what NC did for me. Dont get me wrong, it was HARD. I cried and hurt so much. It was so weird to not pick up the phone to text him or respond to his attempts. He tested me so much. NC helped me see things in a different light. It, most importantly, brought me back to me! My prayers were answered. I found peace. I broke the cycle and the pain stopped. I could smile without him! I got to a point where I finally decided I was better off without him. I completely let go. Then, WHAM, he called a few days later. It was crazy!
I followed the plan to a tee. I didnt deviate. All it took was 27 days for him to call me, 34 days for “a talk”, and now, 43 days later, we are working towards getting back together! :hurray:
I am so amazed! Following the plan made me strong and realize that I didnt need him nor wanted to go back to where we were before the break up. I was very clear to him now and he saw the difference. I didnt ask him directly to break up with the other girl but I told him that I wasn’t going to go back to how we were, that I wasnt going to continue playing his game. That I was fine on my own and didnt need him in my life and that if that is what he wanted, not to waste my time nor his. I told him that when he was serious about being with me, and only me, he knew where I lived. 😈
Well, he came to my house five days ago and told me the update. HE IS SINGLE. He broke up with the other girl because NC made him realize what he was loosing and he decided to come back to me – on his own! He told me he found himself always comparing her to me and that she was extremely jealous of me so they were always fighting. That she told him she hated fighting with him because she knew he was going to come to me. He said that he told her that he just knows she wasnt right for him and I am! Unbelievable!
Before, when he would call or I would see him, it was awkard. Like we were FB – Get in and get out. We had so many hard feelings. Now, I could feel him there, mind, body, and spirit. I could feel the feelings. He is closer and present. This is a welcomed change. The kids are also so happy.
Of course, I am taking it very slow. I dont want the old patterns nor the old relationship and he knows this. Baby steps. We are just going day by day and with all honesty, if for whatever reason this doesnt work, I know that I will be fine. I know that I can be without him. I know who I am. It is a great liberating feeling.
PEOPLE – FOLLOW THE PLAN! STICK TO THE RULES. ALTHOUGH YOU MAY THINK YOU WILL DIE FOR NOT TALKING TO THEM OR WORRY THAT YOU ARE PUSHING THEM AWAY, YOU ARE NOT! THIS WORKS!
Thank God, this forum and, of course, you SW! You are a God send gift to those in need! If I could do this and get my ex back after 2 years and 2 relationships, anyone who is willing to put in the time and effort and follow this, can do it too!
Stay strong. You can kick love’s ass too! ”
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“I got my ex back after a month 🙂
One month after buying the Magic of Making Up and joining this forum my ex and I went for coffee and I can’t even really explain how great everything went from that moment on. During coffee I totally felt like a different person and he noticed too. I know I worked through a lot of my own issues during the ‘evolution’ period and this was key. It didn’t take me long to figure out what I needed to change to be a better partner in a relationship but I know sometimes it takes a bit longer for both parties to figure this out. I was lucky that it only took one month…so don’t give up if it takes longer!! Anyways so that weekend we hung out with a bunch of his friends and it was awesome. We got back together pretty fast after that but I definitely decided to take the physical stuff slower. So it’s been a little over a month now that we have been back together and I can’t even explain how amazing it is. It is like a COMPLETELY different relationship compared to the last one. The last time we dated we would get in these stupid fights and I now know what caused them (READ THE MAGIC OF MAKING UP IT WILL GIVE YOU AWESOME INSIGHT INTO WHAT MEN AND WOMEN CRAVE IN RELATIONSHIPS!!!). I didn’t even have to change how I treated him that much…just little things to let him know he’s my knight in shining armour…and OH MY GOD the benefits are UNREAL. He treats me like a QUEEN! The other morning I got woken up with breakfast in bed (pancakes made from SCRATCH with fruit and icing sugar). I really don’t know what more a girl could ask for…he is so attentive and so adoring…and it all makes so much sense now. All he wanted was for me to let him know I appreciated him. And he always comments on how much more I smile now 🙂
There is one more thing that I thought was interesting…a few days ago I asked him why he wanted to give it another shot and he said “When we broke up you were so NORMAL. You didn’t freak out or cry or stalk me or annoy me…you were totally mature about it. And you didn’t try to maniuplate me.”
So there you guys go…that is the proof you need. Stick to no contact and read The Magic of Making Up because it helped me SOOOO much not only with how to handle the break up but with how to always keep me and my man happy now that we are together.
Everyone stay POSITIVE because I know how hard it can get ”
“Just wanted everyone to know that NO CONTACT WORKS. I’ve been back with my ex since about day 7 of no contact. Its been close to a month that we have been back together and things are really great. Overall the reason why it didnt take so long was because in reality I started my transformation about two weeks after our break up. Which was 5 months ago. I wanted to get out of the slump that I was in. Directly following our breakup I started working out and getting in shape and I started to feel like my confident attractive old self again. Also, nothing works better on conquering depression than exercise. It makes you feel strong both inside and out. It also makes you exhausted so you can actually sleep at night. Which is so hard to do when your missing your ex. By the time I implemented the no contact letter in my quest I was almost 25lbs lighter. Maybe it sounds superficial to some that I focused on improving my appearance, but I felt that it was the easiest to control. I also am currently working on my over dependency and self esteem issues, but that seems like it’s going to be a work in progress. I dont know if we are going to be together forever, but I do know that I love him very much and it’s nice to have my family back together. So keep strong everyone and don’t break the contact rule until you feel that you are strong enough to move on either with or without them. Basically our ex’s gave us a chance to improve ourselves, not just physically but emotionally, or maybe even financially. I don’t know about you, but I’m grateful that I was able to restart my old friendships and really work on myself. Thank you Scott for your advice.”
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“So things didn’t work out with the ex I set this account up to try and get back but…
Three months ago my ex from before this came back into town, he was absolutely the love of my life but he screwed me around, was an immature ass and in the end married someone else and broke my heart. Well it turned out life without me wasn’t too great. I played it cool, didn’t get involved, was friendly but not available. He seems to have done a lot of growing up. He has now left his marriage and is begging me for a second chance. I’d actually been doing no contact with him for 18 months without realising it because I was so wrapped up in my new beau. We are going to take it very slow but having him back feels like I’ve been going through the motions the last couple of years and things finally feel alive again, not that I’ll be telling him that – for a while at least!!!!
So to conclude, no contact works, if just might take a couple of years!
And the last ex, well he’ll be back eventually, but I DON’T want him.
This is a great website, full of invaluable advice that can really change how you handle relationships if you follow it properly.”
“Hi. My ex and I have decided to ease back into things, to start over. I wanted to share with this forum because I often came here to vent/express myself and many of you listened and wrote back.
The advice of this forum and MOMU is extremely valuable and true. The last time I wrote on the forum I was actually writing to say I’d completely let go and was moving on. I had.
Seriously, not even three or four days later my ex was in touch. This is a powerful thing.
I will reiterate most of the same things other successes have.
I got myself back. I crawled out from my hole and stopped feeling sorry for myself and my situation and started changing things. I truthfully evaluated things. This is what NC is about. Evaluation and Evolution. That’s it. Anything and everything that comes from this period of reflection, and be patient with yourself, will bring about exactly what is meant to be and it will be good. Patience. Let things be. Don’t force them.
I broke NC several times. I cried. I was a mess. But everytime I picked myself back up and kept focused on myself.
I have been emailing lightly with my ex for the past week. I did finally meet up with him today for a short time (might have gone over the set time, but only by a little). I hadn’t seen him in two months. It was a nice chat about a lot of different things, but nothing serious! We are taking it slow and gradually. Starting new. Fresh. Zero expectations for each other. He is the person I want to be with and I feel that the split helped me realize that and helped teach me/and still is/ the parameters of a healthy relationship.
I never thought, especially at the beginning, that this would happen :D.”
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I haven’t been here for ages, but I have got gooooood news. I got my baby back!!! And he’s going to move here, to my country And we’re gonna give it one hell of a shot!
It’s been a long process, I dated in the meanwhile too, but nothing serious. One night he caught me on chat, after a long silence (yup, even after a sort of successful reconnection on skype), asking why I hadn’t wished him a happy bd. Well, we got chatting and pretty soon we were at it every day. I started calling me, and we kept it light. And then, one night, I got THE phone call. “I miss you, and I love you. I don’t know what it is about you but I can’t let you go. Can you please at least consider giving me another chance? I know I don’t deserve it, but I love you more than I can tell you.” I told him that I do not want to go to the place we were few months ago, that I am happy right now, and I will consider it, but I want to see effort on his part too. The next day I had a flower delivery, and I can tell you, he went through quite a lot of trouble, contacting a mutual friend of ours for my address and tracking down a delivery company. Well, I considered that an effort Month in and he visited me. We talked a lot about what we both want, and how to make it happen. It was such a lovely long weekend! He even brought up the term soul mate, and how he never believed in such things before but was a convert now. Hah, I’ve known it all along…
So, here we are, back again, he’s looking for a job here and we’re looking to the future together.
So, keep believing and keep going forward, do not settle for anything less you deserve. It took months for me, but I think we needed it, because all the hurts and the troubles seem to have vanished into thin air. It can and it WILL happen. We are in a situation of thousands of miles between us but both of us are committed to working things out. He told that the he felt so terrible not contacting me, and me not contacting him (keep, keep, keep the NC people, it works). Keep the faith, know it will happen, it’s him/her or something even better. For me, it was him, but in a million times better way than we ever were. I will never take us for granted again, and neither will he.”
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(Forum Member) Rosie Wrote:
I was truely loosing the plot three weeks ago for many reasons including my ex. I have to say “thank you” for all the information on your site and T Dub MOMU and his videos. Its helped so much to gain some perspective on my situation. Just the realisation that I am not going insane and that there are other people all over the world struggling with break up issues has helped me to see that my feelings are not that unusual.
I read in the posts so many issues of low self esteem, circular thinking, mild-moderate depression, obsession, “poor me” syndrome and inability to draw boundaries etc that its interesting to see that by following the programme, many of these “issues” can be healed/fixed or changed. I have seen it in the posts I have read. I also have also suffered from all of these!! At the end of the tunnel it is possible to get your ex back OR have a wonderful life without your ex!!
Nobody teaches you how to deal with these issues in life. My parents were wonderful people but we never ever discussed this type of life issue. I am going to teach my son how to handle his emotional life, how to define his boundaries and how to know himself, because one thing in life is sure, hearts get broken, shit happens ALL the time and the only way to come up with integrity after each knock back is to find a positive way to keep your self esteem high so you know you can handle any type of thing that comes your way.
“Last time I was on this forum was roughly 5mths ago if not more and I was the same as everyone else..text terrorism etc and I tried to do NC on numerous occasions and failed..my ex was playing games popping up occaisionally and dangled that carrot to then run off again leaving me once again back to square one..In the end I thought No Way ae you doing this to me anymore!! I deleted him and ignored him completely! Ha guess who came running 5mths after the split??? yes him!!
he had left miss rebound lady who he ran off with and returned back to me..only thing is, i had been dating a really nice guy but he had a commitment panic and dumped me so I stupidly took the ex back for a few days, when the nice guy realised it was me he wanted I broke down and told him i had been back with my ex but I no longer have feelings for him and I had told him to jog on!
This caused massive problems with my nice guy, he was so hurt and angry but we stuck together and the last few times we saw each other we seemed back to normal to then dump me 2 weeks ago out of the blue saying he can’t get over the fact ive been with my ex and that he cant have a relationship with me..
you would think i had learnt but noooo…text and call terrorism started again I have stopped contacting him as from thursday but who knows if he will get in touch or not, he is not usually the type to change his mind or go back on something,. So im just going to get out there and have fun like I did before and hope that he realises Im sorry for what I did and that I love him dearly (which i have told him to the point of insanity lately…time to back off him, if he thinks anything of me he will contact me, if not..time to keep walking and try not to think of him.
ha forgot i had that pic as my avatar..that is the guy that came running hahaha x we are friends now and we have discussed behaviour surrounding the break up..so i thought id share and see if it helps
The NC letter on this forum I hand wrote and sent to him – after no contact at all from him for weeks..sent him to my house in half an hour!!!! He since has said its was like magic! It made him panic and he just had to see what it was about. The other thing..this random popping up he did, was to keep me in love with him and know he was still there ‘like I was waving at you shouting helloooo i am still around you know” that is what he said.
When you are told you have to let them go in order for them to come back…it is soooooo true!! Once I let Craig go, he broke his neck to get my attention, but I still refused to be drawn in, which again instilled fear he had lost me. Shame Craig came back and declared his love and his mistake too late, i was long over him and to the people who feel so low, like life isnt worth living without your ex, you WILL feel better once you start to focus on yourself rather than your ex.
Great advise on the site..but follow it strictly or it may not work how you hoped.”
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“Hello everyone! I haven’t wrote in over a month and I’m sorry but I’ve been so busy planning my WEDDING!!!! You can go back and read my story if you want to know the details of what happened and where I went wrong time after time. However I’m not going to discuss it anymore because it is now behind me! I battled Scott and disagreed on everything. He set me straight and I followed EVERYTHING to detail and look where I am now! On Christmas Eve my now-fiance proposed to me in the perfect way. He hid the ring under my pillow right before bed. When I found the box I was shocked and when I looked up he was on one knee with tears in his eyes and asked me to marry him! Never ever give up! Everyone around me told me to move on but I trusted my heart and followed MOMU. Stay positive!!! Good luck and I can’t thank you enough Scott!”
(Forum Member) Sunshine_9 Wrote:
“Thanks again for your advice, forum, and “smart” BUT “hard” ways in having to run it. Just some food for thought…..I lost my father just before I turned 30 (another milestone in itself for me). Anyway, it was SUCH a shock, disbelief and struggle (even today I still struggle). BUT what I remember the most through those REALLY bad, horrible, crazy days (and please feel free to quote me on this – actually DON’T – I WILL quote this on your NC Diary) was this. It wasn’t my Friends support, it wasn’t my (non-existant) family’s support, NOR was it the support of my Dads’ friends. It was the “support” from the Funeral Director!!!! OMG – SO many decisions at SUCH a young age…..I remember saying to her “WOW – I really admire you!! HOW do you do the job you do?” She simply replied this (which reminds me of you):
“I ONLY do this job for people like YOU!!! I KNOW how hard it is to loose someone and thought to myself as a young girl (yes – the Funeral Director was a ripe age as MYSELF 28), so she thought: OMG – I never want ANYONE to have to go through this heartbreak, loneliness and confusion on their own, so I decided to this…help others out the way I was NEVER helped out. I want to support, give advice and just be there”.
Scott, I’ve never respected anyone more in my life, until now, YOU! I feel the same way about her mission as your mission. Now how lucky am I to have had TWO unbeilievable, unselfish souls on this earth, cross MY path who just WANT to help others!!!! Man oh Man do I respect you!!!! God?? Well, in my opinion, WHICH, I’m entitled to…. well it’s people like YOU and my Funeral Director who could ONLY measure up to or be compared to “god” Cuz she was and you now are a GOD SEND TO ME(or it’s like). In my experience, people like you are TOO FEW and FAR BETWEEN!!
Thanks for doing what you did, continuing to do as you have, and making the changes (as hard as they’ve been) and supporting us along the way!
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(Forum Member) andrew8834 Wrote:
“Hey there everyone. So I didn’t end up getting my ex back, in fact quite the opposite. Literally a week after our failed meet up she had a new boyfriend. However, it turned out to be the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I am proud to announce that I am over my ex. NC is an absolute must. If you cut them off, one of two things will happen. Your ex will come back, or you will get over them. I stuck strong to NC after she and I broke up and I finally got over her, and guess what I never thought I would get over her, but it only took like two months to get over it.”
“Well it’s been over since the end of May (nearly 4 months ago) and the ex is still away travelling not back for another 12 weeks but in the 8 weeks of no contact she has said she misses me and says she still loves me and we agreed to try again on her return.
This comes after absolutely no contact long distance, telling mutual friends not to relay information, nothing and it gave her the time she needed to get curious and to miss what we had. When she saw the changes she was totally blown away but so sweet I sent her the before/after pics and she said even though you look great now, that was the guy I fell in love with.
All the while she knew nothing about my evolution I kept all if it totally quiet I didn’t want to tell her how well I’m doing I wanted her to see for herself. I went through a lot of ups and downs but stuck to the plan and I’m still sticking with it, the hard work isn’t over yet I know this and I’m still a little nervous about it all.
But thanks to everyone for all the support and SW for having this forum as it has been a great help throughout! When you’re friends get tired hearing about your woes and they don’t really understand why we can’t let go of some ex’s even though everything is screaming at you to move on no matter what time of day you come on here and be inspired by others, lifted by their experiences and maybe even give a little back to those going through the tough times.
It took until I had accepted the relationship was over and for her to know I had moved on and feel as if she had lost me to feel all this again.
I’ve still got the difficult bit to do we’re still in different continents and both of us are still cautious and uncertain as to how it will be after so long apart and both of us changing so much in that time. As usual in life there’s no guarantees it will work but I’ve changed all the stuff I was unhappy about and I feel the 9 month break that we faced from the outset of the relationship was a major source of the problems.
There is light at the end of tunnel folks, don’t question the plan as counterintuitive as it may appear it works on different levels you either get the ex or your life back on track (or ideally both!) and either way you win.
STAY STRONG! ”
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“Well, i didn’t take Scotts advice and i totally screwed things up with the ex.
However, i have my own success story because i got myself back and found some one new. And the funny thing is this: Literally as soon as i turned myself around, the ex came sniffing about and wanted to get back together. Needless to say, i told her where to go!
So i think the moral of this tale is that in order to stand a chance of attracting your ex, you need to get yourself back. Do the things you used to do, start dating, have fun, and most importantly, LOVE YOURSELF.
Fact: No-one will love you if you don’t love yourself.
Initiate no contact and use the time constructively. Use the time to get yourself back and love yourselves again.
This forum taught me that and i owe you guys a debt of gratitude.”
“Guys i’ve made a lot of progress and I wanted to post because I remember when i first joined, there didnt seem to be much news for those who reconnected, and if they were successful or not.
After 2 months of No contact my ex began contacting me as you can see in my previous posts.
It didn’t trickle off, it became more intense the more I pulled away. I did not just ignore for the sake of it, if i took his call when I felt like it or replied to his text after his call my resolve was strong and my attitude like I could care less. This is not a game. Simply, I didn’t need his approval anymore and I didn’t obssess to the point of weakness over him anymore.
Well, I never thought i would ever ever EVER be in the position I am in now. We have reconnected and spent quite a bit of time together. I still love him, and I am taking things very slowly until there is a decision by both sides on commitment. He clearly picked up on my new attitude. And he is showing he wants to spend time with me. Its a constant struggle and I have been questioning a lot in my downtime. However, reconnection is so potent, you really have to be on top of things. Luckily I keep my emotions in check when in his presence. I use my time alone if I have to vent, strategise, calm down, talk to someone etc. Even just jotting things down in a journal or email gets me closer to where I need to be, its like i read some of the stuff the next few days and think ugh whatever! Because lets face it, It’s really make or break. So i can be a little melodramatic to my friends. But I am really happy with the way I have developed over the NC period, and i can hear and see that development in my dialogue and behaviour when I am around him, for example. Its fascinating, and I feel blessed that I now know I had just as many issues as he did, I recognised them, and I changed them.
My goal was to be reunited before the holidays and that happened. My next goal with him is to push for a logical conclusion. I have my plan, I will be patient in pushing for that logical conclusion, as I do not intend to sit on any kind of merry-go-round ever again. Having him back in my life is great, I look at him and smile and think wow, but its not enough.
Knowing I can live without him has been THE KEY before and during this tough situation. I am not at the mercy of him anymore. I am happy when I am with him, and not with him. Its a win win situation at this point in time. So i wanted to wish everyone a happy holidays, thank you for listening and I wish you all the best during the festive season.”
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This idea / posts are in my NC Days thread, but not all together, and I did want to share with you all that my ex and I are back.
It takes COMMITMENT to follow the MOMU plan, but it does work. For all those of you in “pain” or “struggle” you must pull yourself up and stick with it – IT WORKS!!!
Ok…. after reconnection our relationship became even stronger than what we had before. This, I really believe has to do with the evolution and it was purely unexpected (the stronger relationship).
We had a conversation one day, when we were on a date, and I think that was the catalyst of getting back together.
The conversation was about the fact that we both enjoyed spending time with each other, and that we both wanted to take it slow and naturally (no pushing).
Then we both relaxed!!
Shortly after this date… he came to visit me while I was away intra state, he stayed with his friends and we saw each other whilst he was there… and we had an amazing time, without intimacy, just me and him in a different place and a different space… it was absolutely wonderful. And, then we got back together.
He mentioned last week, while he was moving into his new place, the future and me and living together: He said he may have to get a bigger place if “some fabulous woman is going to move in with him in the future”. I was very surprised, because I have been taking it slow… and it blew me away…. but it was also overwhelmingly lovely.
We go away for a week together in about a week, and I seriously never expected the relationship to have grown as much as it has.
Just when you thought your OLD relationship was great and amazing…. your NEW relationship is BETTER!!! How’s that, and a big part of it is the PLAN and MOMU!!! The other part – is YOU sticking to it.
“Hey guys i got my ex back! jsut want to say i did it by letting her go completely and moving on like she was history but in the back of my mind i always wanted her bk. i came on this forum a broken and unhappy man after being dumped 4 months ago,i did all the wrong things you could think of that would drive anyone away text msg terroism begging pleading asking to get bk with me everyday an all i got was rejection it hurts it really did.till one day i sent the NC then after a week i broke it cause i found something about her liking a guy on her baby website which at the time was because i was an (emotional) rec i was scared of changes and starting all over again. this forum was a stepping stone for me in a sense it made me realise its not about getting your ex back its about getting your life back and it says it when we first joined but we dnt want ourselves back we want our ex due to being so(emotional)i was on this forum for a month then one day i woke up and said to myself i cant live like this anymore and i started to be more active like when i get these needy feelings id go to the gym meet up with some friends listen to music read books an getting to know myself again and most importantly enjoying my own company cause if you cant do this you’ll never be able to have a long lasting healthy relationship its a fact you we need to be happy in our own skin so you dnt have to be with someone to be happy.During my journey i started dating again cause i honestly wanted to move on i felt ready and happy within my own self i dated two girls during that time one of them i got intermet with the other i didnt really see her as someone i could be with so didnt contact her the one i got close to had issues of her own so i drift away from her my ex knew about this and was really hurt by this she started to text me how she im playing childish games with her an deleted me off facebook we only just became friends on their 3 weeks ago an from then on everything changed i no longer argued bk with her like we used to wen together and i said to her maturely im not playing games im moving on something i should have done since u dumped me an its like you dnt want me but kno one else can have me so if anyone playing games is you. then things did really changed after that she was about to go away to see her mum an sister for a week b4 xmas that day it was the last nite b4 they go away so i had my daughter at mines and whislt leaving hers to go to my flat we live 9 doors apart on the same street she grasp my harm firmly but gently and gave me a kiss on the cheek i didnt let it get to me cuase it could mean anything then i thought have dated two girls an i still have these strong bond with her i satrted reading into it and sent her an open and honest text saying i still love you to bits take it in a negative or positive way if you want but thats the truth an her reply was the day came when she was leaving so i got my daughter ready an took her down to my ex house to get away so i helped with getting her stuff in the car an when it came to saying good bye she said to me to give her a kiss which took me by surprise so i did then she said love you then i said i love you too bk without thinking so i pinched myself to see if this was 4 real hahahahaha! so i walked away from the car an really didnt read into it cuase i was the stage of being causious. So on the monday the 7th of december was my birthday and i opened my card an it read happy birthaday daddy love my daughters name and (mummy)then she text me saying wat ya doing for your birthday and i said going out with the lads in town and she said have fun my reply was thanks with a kiss. so b4 i went out i text her saying im off now and hope u and the baby is ok then she text bk saying yea but im going out with my sis an i said u trying to match up with me she said na an i went its good both of us having fun something we never did due to the fact we have a 1 year old,later that night i was on sofa a bit wasted after my night out which was really good i got a text off her saying I LOVE YOU i text back saying i love you too then she sent me a text saying i’ve come to terms with the fact i still love you but there’s so much of you that needs to change i dont think you can nor do i think you should change for anyone,and my reply was i have change and im a better person than i was 4 months ago and im proud of what have become through the hard work have put in by doing councelling and accept the old relationship was a failiure. im happier than i ever been and loving the new me and i dont care what anyone tinks i know im a different man and stronger. then she said ok lets take things really slowly and i said yes its the best way forward cause this is the mistake we made at the start of the old relationship we decided to still live apart and ill come to hers a 3 nights a week and the same for her and we can still have time for our self’s apart and believe me i think thats the best thing to do cause i still wanna have my me time an so does she so guys and girls focus on you first then everything will fall into place if its meant to be IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING SET IT FREE IF IT COMES BACK ITS YOURS FOREVER IF IT DOESNT IT WASNT YOURS IN THE FIRST PLACE. I truley believe im with the love of my life an we will be happier and stronger than b4 cause we know where we went wrong and have learened from our mistakes in the past im sure their will be bad times but we’ll deal with it in better and respectfull way so dont give up on true love but fixed yourself b4 you attempt to fix any broken relationship very important this. a big thanks to scott for finding the door for me with only the key to find which was hard i was like all you guys to start off with but i never gave up, but with hard work and focus you’ll find it.”
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“Well guys its been two weeks since my last post…and guess what….I GOT HIM BACK!!! I’ve been following the plan and its worked perfectly!!! Another piece of exciting news….I’ve gotten a little piece of info…he MIGHT be proposing on Christmas! Guys dont give up!!! It took me over 3 months but it still worked and trust me I made all of the mistakes at first….Stay Strong!!!!”
“I know I haven’t been posting, but rest assured Ive been reading all of your posts and stories, it kept me going for the last month that I was not with my ex.
Before NC, I was doing text brigade and constantly calling him only to be routed to VM. He was totally avoiding me.
the last 2 months, I sent him the NC message twice. The first time when I read about this forum (his reply to my NC was “whatever”), and the 2nd time when I found out he was with someone already like 2 weeks after we broke up (his reply to my NC was “Were done, don’t make it hard for us”).
Since then, I never contacted him. Nothing… Everyday was a struggle.. There were times that I could not go to work because I just wanted to lie down and sleep to forget… I even tried to compose a hate email, I never sent…
He deleted our facebook account. I deleted him from my messenger.
I went out with my friends. Spoke with some guys… Flirt a little… Continued on with my life…
I realized that I could not let other people control how I feel and how i live my life. A lot of people told me I looked better.
A month ago, he contacted me, we spoke a little then he asked me, if I still love him, I told him, it does not matter and that we are both happy now… He said, that it mattered to him because he still loves me. Then I changed the topic and said goodbye…
The next day, he asked me thru chat if I was mad at him, I said No, and that I was ok. He said that he broke up with the other girl because he realized its me that he loves. I only replied, OK, then changed the topic.
We then constantly talk, and he would always bring up things about us, and I would always stay away from the topic.
Last week, I finally gave in… I felt I was ready.
So there, were back together. ( although i’m still holding off a little, I’m taking each day at a time and I changed from being a needy GF to I know who and what I am GF..lol)
You can have your ex back, trust me, just focus on yourself and not your ex.
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“Hi all. It’s my pleasure to be able to add another post in this section of the forum. I was very surprised to receive an email from my ex earlier today, and she said that she wants to try again! This caught me completely off gaurd. According to her, she just cannot let go of what we had, and is hoping to see if we can make it work again. She gets emotional everytime she thinks about us or talks to her friends about us, and can’t help but to continue to see her in my life. The best thing about this is that she is not pressuring me to make a decision right away, and said that I can respond back to her when I’m ready. This is a change in her that I’ve never seen her act upon before. Apparently I wasn’t the only one to evolve during NC, but she did as well. I knew that after our phone conversation on Sunday that things were beginning to head back in the right direction, but I never expected her to finally just come out and say that she wants to be back w/ me, especially so soon.
I know what I want, and that is to take things slow with her and gradually see if we can ease back into what we had. I’m not going to close my doors, and will continue to meet people, b/c I still don’t know what could happen. My ex still won’t be back home until January, and I will wait until then to truly judge where we can go. I do believe in second chances, and we both have agreed that if we fail again, at least we tried again. She is not officially my girlfriend again, and probably won’t be for a little bit of time, but at least we are heading down the right path.
I want to thank everyone up here for their continued support, and much much props to SW for getting this site together and having it sprawl into the thriving community that it is now. Like I mentioned beforehand, I’m not going anywhere. I am going to continue to stay active within the forum, regardless of my situation. My process was full of bumps and bruises. I broke NC on numerous occassions, attempted to reconnect prematurely, and had to send the NC letter twice. But I can honestly say that everything I have received in return has made it so worth it. ”
(News Letter Subscriber) Wendy Wrote:
I’m not sure exactly when I signed up for your free e-mails but I am thinking it was probably sometime around June of this year. My ex-boyfriend and I were together for 7 1/2 years. In march of this year, he said he wasn’t happy anymore and moved out 2 days later. I was totally caught off guard and while we had definitely hit some hurdles in our last year together, I never thought they were bad enough that he would leave. For 4 months after he left I felt like I had died. I was so sad, depressed, lonely, numb, confused, and well, you get the picture. I don’t even know how i functioned. Probably the worst thing we both did was that we continued to see each other up until August of this year. As sad as I was, we still tried to remain friends and saw each other every week and continued having sex. Every time he would leave, the sadness would return as I would just face him leaving over and over again. When i signed up for your e-mails and started reading your blog, I got a little bit stronger. Although I never ordered your book, I used your basic advice and common knowledge to begin getting over him. i started putting him out of my head better. Although I still felt an emotional connection to him and continued seeing him i found myself not being as sad anymore and started listening to my friends and began to start going out and not sitting at home being sad. I even started questioning whether I really wanted to get back together with him. Months before our break up, I had been out with my best friend listening to her boyfriends band and was introduced to all of the band members. Then fast forward to month 5 after my break up, one of those musicians I had met months before asked us all to come see him play at a club in Hollywood. I forced myself to go because I knew I had to get out of the house. Am I glad I went! After the show, I went home and thanked the guy on Facebook for inviting me to his performance and he ended up asking me out to another event he was playing at. (and another and another) As hard as it was to start dating a new guy, I am happy to announce that it totally opened my eyes to the fact that getting back together “isn’t” always the best thing. I am enjoying the new relationship and we are having a lot of fun. I will always love my ex, but now I see that after all of those months of thinking he was the only person in my life that I could love or be interested in…… I was wrong. It took almost 5 1/2 months to have the nerve to go out with someone else, and of course when the ex found out I was seeing someone else he wanted to get back together with me. Too late. We now haven’t talked in a month at all. He said that “he’ has to get over me now. I however, am happy getting to know the new man in my life, and am taking it slow. Basically, I’m sure my story was boring, but I really want to thank you. I know your web site is designed to help people get their exes back, but it is also designed to help people like me get our lives back too so we can gain the skills we need to re-group and move on. I think we are all capable of loving more than one person in a lifetime. Levels of love are also different, but it takes a lot of soul searching to get through a break up, and who knows if what lies ahead isn’t better. So thank you Scott for helping me get through mine and move on.
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I ve been in NC with him since August and I do not want to contact him again.
But last Mon he sent me a txt like “Hello Hows it going” I never replied..
Then last Thu he added me again on his msn .. i know bc i saw him online but
i ve been offline..i ve never contacted him online on msn though i saw him few
times online but i ve stayed offline
Then yesterday he sent me a txt again ” Hello..How r things with u? ” and
also sent me message on facebook like ” Hello, how r u? been up to anything good?”..
It s all cool he contacted me, but i m not interested in him anymore..so I plan to
never contact him again…Probably he just wants to find what I m up to..but I
feel no desire to talk to him at all.
NC really helped me to change and to find what I want…and it s not him what
I want…but NC really works! NC is an amazing thing!
Well more emailing 3 hours of them back and forth UK – Australia and we’re going to give it another try when she gets back.
She says she misses me and loves me still there’s still 12 weeks to go until the face to face but we’ll reconnect through email/skype slowly and take it from there. She now knows about my transformation and has seen the new me in a pic and was blown away!
The plan works absence did make the heart grow fonder it took me 2 months of NC and 4-5 months of personal evolution and determination to stick with it.”
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“Listen to Scott. He is a MAN telling you what you should do to get your MAN back. Trust and believe that he is telling you this for your own good. I value what another man says about how to deal with men. It’s the TRUTH. Men like the challenge in a relationship. They love it when women have their own lives and men (especially the ones who really like you) love it when women really have to find it in their busy schedules to fit him in somewhere. My BF that I am with now always tell me that he loves me for who I am and to please never change. He likes the fact that I tell hin NO sometimes and that I am not always available to hang out with him. He loves that he has to chase me sometimes. I don’t do this to him on purpose because I do have a life and he is NOT #1 in my life.
” THE SYSTEM REALLY WORKS!!!!
So after ignoring several attempts of my ex calling my phone, I got a knock on my door at about 8:30 pm last Friday night. I answered to be amazed to see my ex standing at my door…Boy did she look fly…I asked her what she needed and she said “I really need to talk with you”. So I agreed to let her talk, we went to TGI Friday and sat down. She flat out told me “Look I love you and life is incredibly difficult without you, I took you and our relationship for granted, I am not in a position where I can be in a relationship because I have personal issues that I need to work on but I also understand that you cannot be friends with me…can we compromise on something because I want to restore our relationship but I want to do it right this time” She suggested that we take thing slowly and date one another exclusively. Funny thing was that I was prepared to hear bad news from her, as we sat there I wasn’t all googly eyed over her like I was before, I still love her and want things to work but my heart wasn’t fluttering and for the first time I felt in control because it was her pursuing me and her putting her feelings on the line. So the past few days we have hung out, went on several dates but we are still giving each other space because we still have our own issues to work out. I don’t quite have my girlfriend back but we are dating and taking things slowly…we have even attended church together!!!! I am still cautious and are still working on my own evolution outside of her but thanks to SCOTT and al of my buddies on this forum I am one BIG step closer to getting back the love of my life!!!!!!!!”
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“Hey there! I finally bought the book and followed it to the letter… and i feel better than ever! I really dont want to reconnect with my ex, because since ive started to value myself WITHOUT him, i begand to realize that it was BECAUSE of him that i felt so miserable in the first place. So, in conclusion, my story is a success story, even if it wasnt what i was looking for in the beginning. Thank you very much for all of the support, the few kicks in the ass that i needed, and in general thanks for everything! It would have taken much longer without you!”
“I joined this forum months ago, and so much has happened. I thought i’d update and let you all know that there is in fact a light at the end of the tunnel. The feelings you have right now will not last forever.
My ex and I were coming up to our six year anniversary when he abruptly left me. Begging, pleading, nothing worked – but NC does. I finally initiated it properly, and started getting on with my life. I started exercising, got a new hairdo, read more and got out. I knew my ex was upset at my sudden drop off with communication. By being there you aren’t helping get back together.. you’re helping give them the confidence to be on their way, or helping put yourself in the friend zone.
I got a nasty email telling me that he didn’t want to ever speak to me again, and that he was finally happy without me. This is where everything changed. I realized that I had been chasing for so long, I was exhausted. And all of the hurtful words made me sit and think, what is it i’m chasing? I didn’t respond. This is when things started changing for him aswell. I blocked and deleted him from everything, and within two weeks my ex went to our mutual best friend’s house in tears about what he had done. How he regretted the email, the breakup, and wanted his life back – with me.
This of course came as a shock to me. I was feeling better, looking much better, and out on the dating scene. I reunited with a guy who I had always liked through highschool, he had a thing for me too, but we never had a chance to act on it. It had been at least 5 years since we had spoken, but we just hit it off. We started hanging out and have naturally started dating. There were alot of guys that came out of nowhere when my ex broke up with me, but this guy was special. He treats me so well, I haven’t felt this special in years. My ex found out of course and was not pleased.
I unblocked him to get some closure, and after hearing what he did at our friend’s house I felt it necessary to talk. We got together, and he cried and told me how it was all a mistake, and how he wishes he could go back to the life we had. He told me that IT TOOK THE TIME OF NOT HEARING FROM ME TO REALIZE HOW MUCH I MEANT TO HIM. I smiled and thought of this forum. He pulled everything he possibly could, even playing our first song together from back when we were 14. But things were different now. I was happy, and seeing him just made me feel that horrible feeling all over again. Not to mention, alot of secrets, etc. have come to light since then, and I know I could never be able to trust him again.
I got my closure, I felt so good, and I went to be in the arms of my new boyfriend. My ex continued to call, start arguments, etc. I finally cut off all communication with him once again and left it behind. As you can see, no contact does work. But remember who is most important: you! you might get wrapped up in getting him back and then realize that maybe he wasn’t making you happy in the first place. I loved my ex with everything in me, but he chose to end it, not me. And now that i’m happy, I can’t just drop my life and run back. So listen to Scott, he knows what hes talking about, and put faith in that. You want an answer, NC will give it to you. I got mine, my ex did love and want me, but I didn’t feel the same anymore.
And to finish, a line from Benjamin Button:
“we’re meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us?”.
Your ex will come back, let them realize how much you mean to them. Thanks for everything members, and Scott especially, through the hardest time of my life.
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“I GOT MY EX BACK!!! Thank you soooooooooooooo much Scott and forum members!!!! This has been a long trecherous journey but is worth it in the end!! Whoa whoooo!! He called me up today after going through no contact for a second time. Says he doesn’t know what it is about me but he can’t let go! He’s willing to put forth the effort and work this out if I am and of course, I agreed!! You guys just don’t know how thankful I am! I went from slashing tires, to depression, to not eating, and not being able to go to work!! I never thought I would come out of that dark hole but here I am, happy and loving life!! The main thing that my ex said to me today was that he saw a change in me and loved the fact that I was willing to help him get his business off the ground when no one else would!! You really have to take this plan and make it work for you. Find all your faults and faults with the relationship and correct them. My advice is to work on your emotional control and you will be well on your way. It takes a lot of time and patience. Trust me, I never thought he would come back. I thought my situation was the worst on this forum and there would be no way to redeem myself. I was wrong and the plan worked! Thank you so much guys!! This is amazing and I am so happy!!”
(Forum Member) Trina Wrote:
“my bf of 5 years suddenly decided to break up with me. i was so devastated for i thought that we were actually doing ok. i didnt know that he wasnt feeling the same way. because of the sudden decision,i was left confused and hurt. in search for answers, i looked up in the internet the possible ways i can eventually get my ex back. that’s where i stumbled upon the book “the magic of making up”. at first, i was hesitant to buy the book. i mean, why would i spend money on something that is not certain. so i did a little research, and found the blog of scott, which then gave a link to the forum. after reading the blogs and participating in the forum, talking to scott and the other forum members, i was convinced to buy and read it a few times. the book provides you with all the steps, a plan definitely worth following. but as you read along, there are questions that the book cant seem to answer. that’s where scott and the forum come in. you won’t feel alone as there are others who go through the same thing as you. its an instant support system that we all need in this difficult time. they tell what you NEED to hear and what you NEED to do. its no nonsense,really. so, MAGIC OF MAKING UP + SCOTT’S FORUM + HELPING YOURSELF = GETTING BACK YOUR EX! SUCCESS!”
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“Scott & Readers—
Just a few short days after telling John that I was going to move home he decided that he does need me in his life!!
Tonight we *talked* and he told me he does not want me to move home and wants me to stay here so we can work things out. I replied with letting him know that this is something I would like to ease in to again at my own pace and want to slow everything down(of course inside I am jumping for joy). He also said that he has noticed all of the changes I have made and is proud of how I have become my own person again. Although we are back together, I know that this is just one small step. To make the relationship stronger than it was before I know I still need to follow the plan I have been on. I have accepted that the *old* relationship is gone, and, you know what??? I could’nt be happier! If it were not for the break up, the book, and the website I never would have *evolved* into a new person that is ready to fight for her relationship and most importantly *Kick Loves Ass*. I owe all of this to the MOMU of course!
Thank you Thank you Thank You to everyone on the forum that has supported me and especially to you Scott for creating such a wonderful website. If I would not have stumbled upon the MOMU and your website I know for sure I would not be in this great of a situation. You helped me become me again which was the most important step of the process. I gained self control and respect for myself again. I also learned how to pull him back without pushing him further away! I would definitely suggest the book, website, and forum to anyone!! Follow this book and Scotts advice..it really works!!
I still want to lend my support where I can and am sure I will still have questions to maintain my new relationship with John. So, I do not intend to leave the forum! Everyone here has become a second family!
P.S. The MOMU worked SO well that I now have to let down 2 guys that have been wanting to date me since hanging out LOL”
“Well, Scott. The OW is out of the picture. My husband is getting the help he needs. He has moved back into our bed and has been fully engaged and affectionate. I still have moments when I want to argue with him or talk over what happened, but that never pulls us closer together. The OW left him because someone from her church found out. How’s that for sticking with the man you love? Meanwhile, my husband was at first devastated, but now has done a 180. He told his mom. She supported me, and is helping me through this. She is not pushy with him either. She just is the master of the carefully placed question or comment.
The biggest tip I could possibly share with your readers is your very awesome advice to keep your head about you! Do not get over-emotional. Be strong. Look awesome (not just physically, but as a person) and make sure you have a life (or at least look like you do!) The no contact rule is key, but living, truly LIVING, makes you more attractive to your ex (or soon-to-be-ex as in my case.)
My husband would not be attracted to a whiny or screaming crazy woman–no man really would be.
We still have a lot of work to do to make this marriage work and to help take away the pain of betrayal that an emotional affair brings, but I wanted to take a moment to thank you!”
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“I already got my baby girl back in my life and we have gotten married with in two weeks af being back togethere thanks for the help”
I would like to sincerely thank you for all you help, and you have helped me. You were my go to guy when I was losing faith and needed some ones opinion that I respected. You are awesome Scott and I believe if I would have met you 5 months ago it might have made the difference, but the damage is deep now and threes no turning back the hands of time. Thank you for all your help you are a friend and a great adviser. All my best always….Tony”
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I just wanted to say that it all worked out in the end. I got my ex back and he really seems very very keen again. I admit I only lasted about a month without seeing him and 22 days or so without talking, but it worked and he has been really lovely for a couple of months i’d say. fingers crossed it stays this way. the time apart gave him time to think, and he thanked me for giving it to him.
“Scott – you have NO idea how much your response has meant to me!!! lol
I was one of those people just waiting for that “magic” to happen & then realized I needed to stop & take the responsibility to get the help I have needed. And I will continue to work with my therapist on maintaining my emotional control… I have made HUGE strides, but I know I still have more to make.
I have no intentions of contacting him, & like you said, will just be patient & see what time brings… Of course, there is the fear anyone has when they stick to the NC rule that the other person will forget you or think you have moved on & so they move on… but I also know the NC rule helps with healing – for both parties.
I absolutely agree with what you said regarding he’s not done if he text me @ Christmas & New Years. You were honest with me which means a great deal to me!! You don’t know me from a hole-in-the-wall so why would you tell me what you think I would want to hear? lol Thank you.
Yeah, I feel hope isn’t a bad thing – after all, we both knew there was something very special there to bring us together & keep us together for 3 yrs., right?
I DEFINITELY plan on buying the book you have suggested, but I don’t feel quite ready yet – sorry.
Thank you, again, Scott!! I needed the reassurance that hope is okay & I was on the right path. You rock!!
Your newest fan,
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I will say that by having access to a kind of “mentor” like you, makes downloading the book worth it.
I do really appreciate and value your time.”
“Point blank…. Scott gives a damn. Answers all emials in record time. I bought the book but our relationship was not totally destroyed. NC brought us together again if only for 2 weeks being apart, but the man knows human nature. Scott dont blow smoke ad you get what you ask for. I went against the grain but he backed me and it worked He never pushes nobody for nothin. Stand up guy here and smarter than most. Battle of the whitts or straight out advice. Scott’s the go to guy. I recommend his service to all men and womwn wanting their man or woman back. Bottom lIne. Thank you Scott.”
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” Hey Scott,
How have you been?
Well, it’s been 30 days. I feel like a completely different person!”…Read The Rest Here!
T. B. Wrote:
I never thought I would say this to someone I really don’t know BUT you are a God sent to me at this point in my life. Thank you for your support with out in I don’t know what I would do.”
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Thought I would update you on my situation!….Well I have my man back! I only ended up doing 4 days of no contact and he randomly came round to my house wanting to make things right…he had texted me before that but I reminded him I needed space and ignored from then on like you said. I cant believe it! It has been just over a week since we got back together and I am so happy! I believe it was deffinetly something to do with the letter I sent him Thankyou for all your help you have been a star! Oh and guess what?! The day he came round was the day I was going to write the cancellation letter for the holiday….and we have both decided we deffinetly want to go! I can’t wait I think it will bring us so much closer together
Once again thankyou for all your help!
Thanks so much for your reply. It’s so cool that you did. I am taking your advice and hoping for the best.
Have a great weekend!
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Wow your advice is amazing! I will refrain from contacting him and be calm when he does.
He seemed mad at me this morning, though. I’m not sure what I did, which is scary. It seemed almost like he was dating this other girl, which really drove me nuts. But she was pretty trashy so I’m not worried about it going anywhere.
Why does love have to be like this? I really liked your quote about an imperfect world, by the way.
First of all I want to say thanks for all your help that you have given
in your emails. It gives me piece of mind and comfort that I can’t get
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“Your advice is great. If I had a success story, I would definitely share it here. But, what you have given me is as close to a success story as I have. And I just wanted to tell you, Thank you.” I have downloaded the book and love it. I messed up along the way, but I’m on my way to getting back on track and following the plan.
Thanks SO MUCH!
“Thank you soooo much for all the words of advice and I will keep them in mind for future reference! Very Helpful, but my ex has defineatly moved on and is getting married and I have accepted the fact that I have to move on. But I’m sure all the helpful advice will come in handy in any future relationships that I may have.
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I have SO related with many of the things you’ve said in your book. Many of them I knew but didn’t act on, allowing my ego/heart/fear rule me. My boyfriend and I split about a month ago; he moved out after two years. Do you have any thoughts? I know you’re inundated with emails. I hope you have some great magic for me, as I know you’ve seen and heard it all!
All the best to you ~ you’re providing a compassionate service.
L.L. Wrote:“thanks for snapping some sense into me. although i now have reason to believe he actually did cheat on me. but oh well. thanks for your advice and your always quick response.
it is defintely helping me get back on track when i feel lost.
thank you. please keep in touch.”
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Lol! never ceases to amaze me how quick you always reply. Thanks for the advice as always and for keeping me in line. As we speak, I’m going to go read the book over again. And continue working on my plan =P
Thanks again. Take care. Hope to talk to you soon.
“I must tell you I purchased your book and have been following the advice, and my ex wants me back now. He invited me over to his home last night and is even cutting a night short with the guys at a baseball game so he can see me!!! I mean this no contact thing really and truly works!Lori”
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“Thank you SO much for helping with this, by the way. I think what you’re doing is awesome. I hope I am not burdening you with my many questions. I’m almost done!”
“Ive found someone else. Although, recieving your emails definatly helped me get thru a tough couple months. Thanks!”
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“Thank you Scott, well after this guy, I don’t know about the virgin thing from what I have been hearing but who knows. but I already decided for myself, that I will do my own thing and not worry about it, I will keep following your advice but just not worry you know.
I thank you and appreciate your advice very much”
I ended up asking him to lunch, & he kept talking & asked me why now and he confessed HIS undying love to me & we ended up hanging out for a little bit the day after- I kept my ground and didn’t let myself cry or give in to admitting that I was still crazy for him, your book really gave me the courage to do what I have to do, & it helped me so much, no, i didnt get to the 2nd step even, it really only took the 30 day no contact and asking him to lunch, but anyways, I went to his house & his family was so excited to see me & kept hugging me and stuff, then it came down to just me and my ex, we were talking a little bit & then he started like smiling at eachother and he just hugged me so tight and started crying, it made me cry too, he told me he misses me we like did not let go & he kissed me and told me he was sorry & i appoligized back, I am so happy now.
I couldn’t thank you enough
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Thanks again for replying to me.
I really have to say that your e-mail really help me getting through this rough time, and i enjoy reading your suggestions, so please keep in tough with me.
“Thank you for your feedback. I think you are right, and the month gives me do much more time to get strong. I can already feel it.
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“Hey man. So I’m dating 2 chicks right now. Not serious but its helping me alot in the emotional security part. They are good people but I have told each that I’m not into a relationship right now, I just want to be friends. I’m into 2 weeks no contact with my ex. It has been 3 months since we broke up. I agree with you, a face to face meeting between her and I will be the icing on the cake and when she sees the progress Ive made to myself, I will win her back from her “new guy.” Ha ha. Thanks for all your support Scott. Youve really been patient with me. I know now it doesnt matter if its 3 months or 3 years, no amount of time is too late to rekindle something that was beautiful and then marred by confusion and disarray. Time for me to clear up her confusion in a couple weeks and get her back where she belongs!
Troy P. Wrote:
“I used helpful tips on some of your tactics in the introductions you have offered and I used my judgement on bettering myself period and were getting married next spring. Thanks again for giving the info.it was excellent help.”
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“Scott, you are absolutely amazing!! This is exactly the information I was looking for. When I first came to your site I was an emotional wreck, in a panic, scouring the site for answers and got totally discouraged because I felt like the information being provided was only for freshly broken up individuals. You have put everything into perspective for me and I really appreciate that. I will continue on with the plan and come back with an update.”
Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?
My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008 to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back.
I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read.
I realize the address of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but, I “really” teach people how to get their lives back, not just their ex’s.
Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise.
If you have any comments or questions please feel to contact me directly.
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