Break Up Advice – How Do I Know if it is Over?

Is it over between you and your ex? This is usually the first question that someone asks themselves after a break up. How can you tell if it is really over? Is there some magic signs that you can read, and know that you will get your ex back? How can I tell if my ex still loves me? The best break up advice in the world can’t tell you that, only time can. But, I can show what to do to flush these signs out…interested?

Break Up Advice – Is It Over?

The one point I want to get across right now is that when your ex breaks up with you it is over, for the time being. What I mean is, leave it alone for a while, don’t beg, plead, or threaten, accept the break up for now…Why? Because if you really push it, you could make this break up last forever, and never get your ex back again…understand?

Your initial reaction will be the same as everyone else out there (including me) you’ll fuck up and make things worst. Luckily, after that you’ll come across some good advice like this, and stop yourself before you do any more damage. Don’t worry everyone messes up after a breakup, and it’s not over believe me, that is only your paranoia talking…tell it to shut up, OK?

Break Up Advice – How Can I be Sure It Is Not Over?

Once again we are looking for that magic sign that just doesn’t exist. Your chances of getting your ex boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, or husband will vary from day to day. Your actions today and from now on will dictate your chances of winning your ex back again, not some sign that when they look at you and smile that means they are in love with you again.

The one thing people fail to notice after a break up is the fact that it is pretty much impossible for someone to instantly fall out of love with someone. Unless your ex was some kind of military experiment, they have feelings just like you, and they don’t just disappear. If you were dating a android this break up will be a good thing…I promise.

Unless Your Ex was an Android They Still Have Feelings for You

Break Up Advice – What If I Never Get Over Them?

Here comes the drama that is programmed into us by watching all those fake-ass TV shows. People, those “reality” shows are about as real as Michael Jackson’s nose. What you see, and hear on TV is there for one thing, and one thing only…to entertain you, and keep your ass in front of TV set to watch their commercials.

So, whatever you see on TV is mostly bullshit…OK? It makes us think less, and that is our downfall. What if you never get them back? So what…you were fine before they came along, right? That is not the question you should be thinking about right now. It’s not whether they still love me, or is it really over, or any other negative chunk of paranoia that your media programmed mind comes up with. The real question is what do I need to do to get them back, and find out their true feelings…right?

I am a man of action, not over reaction. How about you? Are you a man/woman of over reaction because TV put your mind in traction? I believe we control our own destinies, that’s why I am here to help you learn how to control your own destiny…you up for that? The fastest way to evolve past this break up is to use the no contact rule. If you need some break up advice, please feel free to write your question in the comment box below, and I will answer it ASAP…I promise!

Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?

My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people for more than 3 years to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.

If you’re interested in working with me (and our forum members) to get your life back, join my free newsletter for access to the free plan to get your ex back fast, and start getting your life back today. The answers you need to start your personal evolution are waiting for you, don’t hesitate another minute…come and get them.

Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please write them in the comment box below.

If this article was useful or helpful to you in anyway, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.

Until next time,

S. Williams

Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.

70 Comments

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  1. wus big homie I’m 29 and I messed up big time with my girl, I really love this women, she 26 with 4 kids, an was supposed to have my child, I don’t know if she had the abortion or not but See we got into an argument an the police was called an she got locked up, she say she took the charge so I wouldn’t get locked up, we’ve got into it before but not that bad. Although it was a simple battery it’s still serious to her, we only been together for 6 months an with all that she’s done for me an her ta tell she want nothing else ta do with crush my world, I made real promise to take care of her, an I feel like I let her down. I can’t tx the whole life we shared like everybody else did on here but I cared for her and her kids, an I know she knows that, her mom an sisters in her ear I’m sure, I’ve made the mistake of continuing to call an tx, I’m just scared I won’t get her back, to really show her my her worth, and my best. I try to live up to my promises an failure isn’t a option. Do u think I’ve lost her?

    1. Hi,

      I would give her space for a month, and then try to get her to talk t you about the problems your relationship is having, and how to work them out.

      Don’t worry about losing her, focus on how to fix the relationship, if you keep on fighting, it won’t last very long.

      Take care,

      S.W.

  2. hi,

    I need desperate help.. i was with my ex fiance for 8 years, we were supposed to get married next month and 3 months ago he broke up with me because we were fighting a lot. I guess i took our fights to an extreme and he just wanted to get over it and move on and i tortured him when we fought and he used to tell me all the time how much it bugged him and i just never listened.

    After we broke up he started dating a coworker i guess it was just rebound because they are no longer together (even though shes crazy about him-made a fake profile on facebook).

    However, during the time i would call , beg, cry, scream and blame him for this which pushed him even further. I know BIG MISKTAKE!! but now i am trying the no contact thing and seeing if it works. He tells me that we need to just be friends, that i need to move on and let go. But i can’t. He says maybe he dosent love me the same way anymore but i dont believe that. He also said i made him miserable and he wasn’t happy and that just kills me inside. I want a second chance to make things right, because i do love him a lot.

    Let alone everytthing i went through, i had to cancel a wedding where everything was already set, and tell 400 people that the wedding is cancelled. How about any sympthathy for me? He can’t even imagine what i went through…

    I tell him that no ones perfect and if that was bugging him so much and i changed that what is the problem now? he said he dosent go back on his word and that he created this mess just to take me back would be dumb.

    HELP… does he still love me? will he realize this? im really torturing myself let me tell u!!

    thanks

    1. jamie smieth says:

      im really torturing myself let me tell u!!

      Hi,

      You’ve got that right.

      You are torturing yourself by not waking up and letting go of the past.

      You MUST let go of the old failed relationship and evolve past the break up.

      Using the no contact rule “correctly” will not only help you get your life back, but it will also reveal your ex boyfriend’s “true feelings” for you as well.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

      IMPORTANT – If you found this information helpful or useful, please give me a “+1” rating by using the colored “+1 button” at the top or bottom of the above article. I’d really appreciate it.

  3. Scott,

    Thanks for all you do. Let me put some context around this first. I have not joined the forums and all of that, because I have not taken the required first step; which is to say, I did send the word-for-word no contact letter to my ex, and I want to stay honest.

    I did read the magic of making up, and it was/is brilliant. I more or less followed T. Dubs plan, and it worked, until I got to the reconnection part and made the mistake of moving to fast. So the reuinion was brief, and the next break painful.

    I let myself be strung along by my ex again, and eventually she started dating someone else. At that moment, I knew it had to be over for me; intellectually, I mean. And I knew that T. Dub’s advice in TMOMM was good for that too. So I told her I was going to take some time and clear my head, and that I would be back in touch when I was ready.

    I don’t think she believed me, because she had always had me in her back pocket, but I couldn’t worry about that. It had come down to my own emotional survival. Eventually, she did call, on my birthday. I ignored it. Then she called about a week later, “I think about you all the time. I love you. I love you. I love you. etc . . .” I ignored that too.

    It was no longer about getting her back. It was about me getting past it. No contact was working, not in the get her back way, but in the sense that I was beginning to accept it was over, I had leaned into the grief, and it was fading.

    I broke down once and did call her after she texted saying something like, “Please call me.” So I did, and had a short neutral conversation. I didn’t ask about her life, other than just making sure she was okay, and I revealed little about my own. It was friendly, and I got off the phone fast.

    A week later she called again, and left another, “I’m just calling to have a conversation. I love you. Call me back if you want, or I will call you again soon” message.

    I didn’t respond to that either, because I realized after talking to her that 1) despite myself, I would have a secret agenda in terms of wanting to rekindle something, and 2) I would be being dishonest because I am still angry about being strung along.

    After a week or so of thinking I realized I was close to the point of being able to at least explore a freindship and was thinking of calling, but I wasn’t going to do that until I had really thought about the points above.

    Then, suddenly, I get a text saying, “You have become one of those people in my life that don’t return phone calls. That’s lame. Go away if you need to. That’s never what we promised. We were going to show them how its done. I got nothing but love. I wish you didn’t feel the need to avoid me. Hope you’re well.”

    And — wham! — back to square one. She knows me, and even if that seem innocuous, it is tailor made by someone who knows me quite well to have an affect on me, and it does.

    All of the feelings of panic about losing her (who is gone) came flooding back, and I nearly responded, angrily. I didn’t, and that initial impulse has passed, but I feel like she just planted an emotional bomb in my head.

    I am not over her. I cannot be her friend (not for years I don’t think; not anyway until I feel completely stable). I was content that we were coming to a separate peace, and starting to move forward.

    Is there some simple way, from your perspective, to diffuse this? It’s funny because I know ignoring her can’t make things any worse. She’s gone. And yet, I am suddenly feeling just like I did when I first cut contact about three and a half months ago. It is taking everything I have to keep my head in charge, and not do something stupid like engage the argument, or just ask her what she wants from me.

    Is this typical, in your experience? how would you handle it?

    Again, I apologize for not being officially on your plan. Perhaps that would have avoided all of this. I understand if you don’t want to take the time to answer, completely. But of all of the sites out there devoted to this topic, I have always found yours to be the most level-headed and grounded, so I humbly submit my story, which is currently driving me nuts.

    Full disclosure: Everything I say about not wanting her back is my head; my heart will always at least kind of wish it would work. But I am trying to get myself right, you know? My heart does whatever it wants, but my head tells me she hasn’t changed and getting her back would just blow up again.

    1. Hi,

      There is no way to diffuse the situation, the bomb has already exploded.

      The biggest mistake I see people make after a break up is to try and fix things as quickly as possible.

      Relationships break ups aren’t like a broken coffee cup that you can glue back together.

      You are better off throwing that cup out, and getting a new one.

      Translation: evolve past the break up, and reveal/evaluate your ex’s true feelings for you.

      But that takes real courage, and determination — there are no short cuts.

      The no contact rule works real well in these situations. But, only if you have the guts to follow it correctly, and stick to it.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex girlfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  4. Solomon, hi my wife left me 2 mths ago. She is very strong willed woman when she says she done she is done! She kept telling me when she get enough she will leave and never look back. Cause she has been this way her whole life! But first we where in love she told me she was about to give up on love until I came along, that I was her soul mate, she been looking for me her whole life. We had 2 kids we been married for 7 yrs. I mentally abused her I bullied her to where she left. She says she’s done and wants a divorce and it’s final. I read something and did what they told me to do. I told her to go take sometime cause we both needed it. I’m not calling her. I asked her to lunch we went and she was pisses that I brought her a rose. She says that she new I would do something like that and I need to accept that she doesnot want me. And the sight of me makes her hate me cause of how I treated her. That hurt me a lot cause we were soulmates. I also told her that I wanted the divorce also! She wants to be my friend and nothing more! Please tell me is she gone for good? What can I do? She is my everything! Help me? I want her home! What am I doing wrong? Thanks, Lance

    1. Hi,

      The best way to reveal your wife’s true feelings for you is to use the no contact rule to evolve past the break up.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex wife back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The quickest way to get your wife back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  5. Hi, I kind of dated a man for about 3 months! We were very much in love and there was alot of passion. I think I became too clingy and he felt it and he left me and hurt me bad. 2 days later I went to a club with another man and we had a lot of fun and I don’t know what went on in his mind but he would not even say hello.

    3 Months later (this is now after I actually put him out of my mind and moved on) he calls me late at night (11:30) and wants to know how my love life was going. There was a problem with connection and when I tried to call back he had switched his phone off!! I sent him an sms and he never replied. I was so confused and could not understand why he called.

    1 Month later I finally had the guts to call him to see him because he had my computer harddrive etc. I wanted to collect it and then cut him out for good because this was still “holding” us together in a way. I went to his office and he tried to copy all documents but it was going to take hours and he said I should leave it there and he will bring it to me. We had nothing to say to each other but when I finally left he grabbed me and starting kissing me passionately and I responded to his kiss. When he tried to get further I pushed him away and said that I needed to go.

    I don’t know if I made a mistake by kissing him and what to do next? Im very confused and just want to know what my next step is going to be. I rejected his advances and I think he has a little bit of an ego problem and im now scared that he wont contact me to bring me my computer data. Do I contact him or how do I handle this. I want another chance with him!

    Please help
    Thanks
    Yvette

    1. Hi,

      You are stuck in relationship limbo.

      Make a time to have a friend pick up your stuff (hard drive, and whatever) and then start following the no contact rule…the correct way.

      I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex boyfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

      The fastest way to get your man back is to get your life back first.

      Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

      Thank you for writing.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  6. I …. started the NC letter about 5 days ago…… My ex owes me some money. I was just wondering if i should have a friend contact him and get it for me ….. or…… do i wait until I am done with my revolution and contact him when i am ready to meet him for a coffee ? What would be more effective…….

    Liz:)

    1. Hi,

      What revolution?

      Can you fucking read?

      It is a personal EVOLUTION.

      Please, at least have the courtesy to read my Blog, and understand the free plan before asking a question.

      Take Care,

      S.W.

  7. Kelly wrote:

    I did go to your free plan and clicked on the red ink ” my no contact diary” and it took me to the forum but I can’t find a way to create a box where I can write my text and send it to create my NC diary

    Hi,

    Your membership was deactivated because you didn’t follow the forum guidelines.

    I PM’d you and told you what to do,and you didn’t do it, so you are no longer a member of our forum, rules are rules.

    Kelly wrote:

    English is my second language. Please help

    I deal with people from ALL over the world with language barriers, but they work hard and follow the rules.

    You must be able to read, understand, and FOLLOW instructions to be part of our forum.

    You had your chance.

    You can still read the forum, and follow the plan.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  8. Scott.

    I did go to your free plan and clicked on the red ink ” my no contact diary” and it took me to the forum but I can’t find a way to create a box where I can write my text and send it to create my NC diary, I saw many diary members there( I expected it as this page with a reply button or so)

    English is my second language. Please help

    Kelly

  9. Oh Scott.

    He ended thing on March 21, I sent my break up agreement to him on the same day, he contacted me about my blood test for STDs,(which is negative) on March 22, I made him wait for 3 days before I sent my reply about the negative blood test on March 24. he must be up set that I didn’t reply promptly as before. Well, he needed to taste his own medicine since he rarely replied back to me when I sent him text before. That was our last contact. It’s been 12 days. I posted my new personal ad recently where we met with a positive notes. He might sees it and only God knows how he feels!!!. It sent him a message that I’m over him…yeah that fast

    Take care

  10. Hello Scott.

    How are you doing?, hope you had a fantastic weekend Scott.

    I haven’t contact my ex after my ND ( I’m naturally done it without or without what I researched online after we broke up. I never see myself chasing a man or allow him to disrespect me ( he stated in his last email that he admired and respect me). When he decided time to go then I will let him. I haven’t have the wanting feeling to call or connect right now, I just feel he took me for granted and that annoying me ( which is true about the “indifference” toward the other person that I have with him right now), I still miss him and feel hurting in my heart but I really don’t want to call. If he didn’t want to call me then I might let it goes for good. Maybe in time I will change my mind to get in touch with him again but right now, I feel I can live almost normal as I was before we met. Time does heel every wounds, doesn’t it?. He made me feel that he sabotaged one great relatiosnhip and didn’t know anything better. Why would I want to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate me and willing to work with me?

    Just to share!

  11. hope wrote:

    WATCHA THINK ? I DIDNT SEND THE RECOMMENDED NC MESSAGE BUT THIS TIME I REALLY PLAN ON WORKING ON MYSELF

    The plan works best when you follow ALL the steps, and send the recommended NC message, it is the most important part of the plan.

    It shows you have the courage and commitment to follow through with the plan and succeed.

    Your personal evolution takes courage, determination, and strength, but it will be worth it in the end.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

  12. WATCHA THINK ? I DIDNT SEND THE RECOMMENDED NC MESSAGE BUT THIS TIME I REALLY PLAN ON WORKING ON MYSELF AND BECOMING THE CONFIDENT ME AGAIN , ONLY GOS KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE HER SO IM JUST GONNA LEAVE IT THERE

  13. S.DUBB , HOW ARE YA MAN ? OKAY SO I’VE BEEN THRU THE 3O DAY NC PERIOD AND I EVOLVED ALOT DURING THAT TIME , ONLY TO FIND OUT I HAVENT EVOLVED ENOUGH . DURING THE NC PERIOD I TRIED HARD TO LEARN HOW TO BETTER MYSELF , BUT I THINK I DIDNT GIVE IT ENOUGH TIME. WHEN ME AND MY EX GOT INTO CONTACT , SHE WAS SURPRISED AND CLAIMED THAT THE ONLY REASON I WAS TALKING TO HER IS BECAUSE SHE TOLD MY CUSIN THAT WE HAVENT TALKED IN AWHILE ND ETC. FAST FOWARD , WE HAVE OUR LIL 30 MIN DATE ND SHES JUST TORTURING ME WITH THE QUESTIONS LIKE WHO ARE U SCREWING , I’LL TELL U IF U TELL ME ( I THINK SHE WAS SAYING THAT JUST SO I CAN SAY SOMETHING ) BUT I DIDNT GIVE IN AND I TOLD HER I WASNT THERE TO DISCUSS THAT . I ENDED THE DATE EARLY BECAUSE OF HER ATTITUTE , LATER ON THAT NIGHT SHE TEXTED ME APOLOGIZING FOR THE WAY SHE WAS ACTING . ND I SIMPLY SED OKAY . THE NEXT DAY I TEXTED HER TELLING HER THAT WE NEED TO TALK , ND I TOLD HER THAT BASICALLY I WAS JUST TRYING TO MEET WITH HER TO CHILL ND HANGOUT BUT SHE WANTED TO TURN IT INTO SOMETHING ELSE , ND SHE WAS LIKE SHE APOLOGIZED ND WHY AM I ACTING LIKE THAT OR W.E . I COULDNT TAKE IT NOMORE , IM LOVING SOMEONE MORE THAN IM LOVING MYSELF AND ITS NOT HEALTHY . I CANT SEND THE RECOMMEND NC MESSAGE CAUSE THIS WUD BE LIKE THE 5TH TIME . ND SHES BEEN QUESTIONNG ME ABOUT WHY I KEEP FOWARDING HER THAT MESSAGE B4 I STOP TLKING TO HER AND ITS GETTING ANNOYING . BUT I DID THE 3O DAY PERIOD AND IDK . IM AT THE POINT WHERE I LOVE HER BUT I JUST HAVE TO LET HER GO ND BE HAPPY IF ANYTHING . I LOVE HER SO IF SHES HAPPY THAN THAT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME , I TEXTED HER THIS MORNING TELLING HER I APPRECIATE EVERYTHING SHE EVER DID FOR ME ND HOW I ATLEAST GOT TO KNOW WHAT REAL LOVE FELT LIKE IF ANYTHING ND HOW SHE WOULD BE A GREAT MATE TO ANYONE IN THE FUTURE ND I JUST WANT HER TO BE HAPPY SO IM NOT GNNA SWELL ON THE PAST . THATS MY NC MESSAGE FROM THE HEART , IDK WHERE ITS GONNA LEAD ME BUT FROM NOW ON I NEED TO LET GO OF MY PAST ND PAIN ND LOVE ME . IF WERE MEANT TO BE THAN WE’LL BE . BUT FOR NOW I JUST HAVE TO DO ME ND LET HER GO BECAUSE THEY SAY IF U REALLY LOVE SOMEONE U LET THEM GO. IT TOOK ALOT OF STRENGTH FOR ME TO COME TO WHERE IM AT

  14. Kelly wrote:

    My other friend said that I hurt him. Hurt his pride and broke his heart. He said all that crap so he wouldn’t come out looking so pathetic but what can I say to make up for that?

    And what did he do when he broke up with you?

    I would say you’re even on the hurting crap…let it go.

    Kelly wrote:

    why didn’t he want to work things out with me rather than break up?

    Exactly!

    While your male friends are busy Googling bullshit about how men feel.

    Have them look up communication in a relationship, that is the key to staying together, not pouting and then breaking up…he sounds like a big pussy to me.

    Take Care,

    S.W.

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