Been on strict (almost) 2 month NC. Thought I was in a good place. Not that I was about to RC, but I really thought I was getting much better and on my way – working out, going out, focusing on work…sleeping and eating well.

A few hours ago I just found out my long distance ex, barely a month after she broke up with me over the phone, is dating someone else. It was like a knife through my heart, I’m ashamed to admit. I feel like I’m back to square one – it’s obvious that I was nowhere near ready, but I’m still shock at how this one piece of news totally undid what I thought I had achieved. I’m so angry at that.

I’m up at 3am writing this, cos I can’t sleep. I tried to keep the thoughts out, and I did even worse by browsing some pics of them two on Facebook (even though I deleted her from FB long time ago – it’s still pretty easy to find through mutual friends).

Man, am I really going to have to go through this again? I know how is it, and what I must do, but guys you know that it’s impossible to control the emotions right now. All the bad thoughts that are infecting my mind like a disease.

I don’t even think I want this woman back in my life, I just want to forget. I don’t deserve this, after everything I’ve done for her. Basically, she decided suddenly that she cannot move to where I am, and so broke it off. Weeks later, she’s with someone else.

Seriously, I don’t know if I care much for NC or RC or whatever. I just want to forget this and move on. There’s no happy ending to this either way, I don’t believe. We are living separate lives, and I really wish I can purge all these thoughts out of my head.

Facebook is evil man, seriously. The guy already has ‘in a relationship with XXX’ done up, but she didn’t update her status – probably doesn’t want to make it so obvious and I know she doesn’t want me to find out about it. I broke my NC with Facebook too, now I really have to try and not go on digging for info.

I don’t need to say more. You guys know what I’m going through. Damn this sucks.

She couldn’t have been too serious about moving in with you if she changed her mind, right?

If you’re wondering how she really feels about you, use the no contact rule correctly to reveal her true feelings.

I help people survive a break up and get their lives back, not get their ex girlfriend back, and I explain why in the “About” section on my Blog.

The fastest way to get her back is to get your life back first.

Go read the free plan to get your ex back and follow ALL the steps to heal your broken heart, evolve past the breakup, and get your life back again.

Thank you for writing.

Take Care,

S.W.

I was with LDR with my ex for over a year, saw each other every 4-6 weeks during that time and towrd the end she even moved to my country for a a couple of months to be with me. All was well and she was preparing to move in with me for good.

Recently she went home for some personal matters, and after a few weeks, broke up with me. Her reasons was that she realised the move was too big for her. She couldn’t leave her family, friends, home etc.and didn’t want me to wait forever. She said she was very sorry and guilty. (me moving there isn’t an option).

I’ve been on NC for almost 8 weeks, and trying to stick to the plan. I believed she still has feelings for me. But when factors like these come into play (fear of moving, giving up her home comforts, moving to new country), what’s one to do?

Would love to hear your view. Thanks.

We broke up not because of cheating. There were 2 main reasons.

1. I was too insecure and he had enough of my insecurity.

2. We were in a mess in our personal life. This would have been the same for any couple in our situation, long distance or not. I was facing a major lawsuit that would affect my career (I was suing the hospital I intern at and the University that sent me there) and my ex (I still have the tendency to just call him my BF) was having major financial crisis and stress from applying to do PhD.

He eventually concluded I was the focal point of his stress (which I do not think is totally true). I think he was selfish and lacked the guts of a man to take me through my problems and his but I love him nevertheless.

So I worked out my own lawsuit and am still willing to face his difficulties with him.

It didn’t work out in my case, but I am hoping it will in the future. Perhaps I made mistakes.

No problem…

Just learn from your mistakes as you follow the free plan, and then go get your ex back.

Your input is greatly appreciated!

Any ideas for our next question?

1. if both consistently maintain constant communication
2. it gives a chance to maintain individuality,such as by being with friends and family
3. like proximal relationship, it takes hard work and dedication to each other to maintain healthy and long-lasting relationship
4. the opportunity of personal time, like both can pursue interests and hobbies as well as career objectives.
5. it pushes both to be more creative, communicate better and test your feelings.