Free Plan to Get Your Ex Back Fast
Free Plan to Get Your Ex Back Fast
You’re alone, scared, desperate, panicked, and you don’t think you will ever get your ex back…guess what?
You’re not alone!
Everyone who has read this, and decided to follow the free plan felt the same way, at first…then they evolved.
This plan will give you back your life, and hopefully your ex…but you have to believe in it, OK?
You must follow it step-by-step without hesitation, or doubt…because it does work.
You must not let your fear hold you back from taking back control of your life, understand?
Join the other members of our forum as together you become a whole person again…heart, mind, and soul.
You can, and will do this with my help, and the support of our forum.
A Basic Step by Step Plan to Get Your Ex Back
In these rough economic times, I understand a lot of people don’t have the money to invest in the book “The Magic of Making up” right after a break up, but you still deserve some help, right? This plan is by “no means” a replacement for owning that book, but it is a basic plan to get you started until you can afford the book, OK? I will include a few excerpts to help you and to show the great wealth of information the book will add to this basic free plan to get your ex back. So, with that lets get started and help you get your life, and hopefully your ex back again, OK?
*VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT - FIRST OF ALL, WHO AM I? READ THE ABOUT PAGE ON MY BLOG AND FIND OUT WHO I AM. YOU SHOULDN’T FOLLOW ANYONE’S ADVICE UNTIL YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THEM, RIGHT?
NOW, IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU READ ON MY ABOUT PAGE, GO READ THE ENTIRE PLAN COMPLETELY ALL THE WAY THROUGH BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO COMPLETE ANY OF THE STEPS. YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HOW THE PLAN WORKS “FIRST” IF YOU WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL. YOU ALSO MUST UNDERSTAND HOW MOMU (OR ANY OTHER BOOK) WORKS ALONG WITH THE FREE PLAN.
You should be following the Free Plan as your step-by-step guide for the no contact rule, and using the advice in MOMU (or any other book) for understanding how Men/Women relate, and to help you get back on your feet, and evolve past the break up, and for advice on the reconnection process (chapter 6 in MOMU) if you choose that route…
Use these books as companion guides…NOT as a plan for NC, that is what the free plan is for.
This is NOT a secret psychological formula to make your ex come back to you, ALL those “how to get your ex back” plans are mostly bullshit. The real secret is this…The FASTEST way to get your ex back is to GET YOUR LIFE BACK FIRST. I will teach you how to do this by kicking loves ass.
Stage One – The Break Up
A. Important before joining our forum you MUST read this post first: The How to Kick Loves Ass Break up Forum – Forum Guidelines if you agree with this statement then proceed to the next step, if not I wish you luck somewhere else.
*IMPORTANT – If you do choose to join our forum in order to provide the highest level of confidentiality please…DO NOT USE YOUR REAL NAME as a member name (or anything that could be easily associated with yourself), it would also be a great idea to use a different email address too. You can open a new “free” email account at Gmail by clicking here. This will definitely help you keep your activity private, and untraceable through search engines.
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**VERY IMPORTANT – MUST READ NOW!
BEFORE YOU EVEN REGISTER for forum membership, you must complete this step:
Read the free plan in it’s entirety, and then go back and follow all the steps…DO NOT RUSH!
You must understand how this all works, if you have questions post them on my Blog and I will answer them (if they are not already answered in the free plan).
Then…
Write, and SEND your NC message (as outlined in the free plan (see the writing the no contact message step below section”B”)…no changes) to your ex ASAP! No sent message…no membership, understand?
Once you have successfully registered in our forum, you must complete these 2 steps in this order with-in the first day (24 hours) of joining in-order to keep your posting, and PMing privileges as a member. You Must do them at the same time. Do not just post your Break up Story without your NC Diary, you will get banned. If I see one without the other, and you are logged out…you are getting banned. Do not start your NC diary without immediately posting a copy of the version of the recommended NC message you previously sent to your ex, or you will get banned.
Step1: Post Your Break up Story
Step2: Start Your No Contact Diary, and include a copy of the version of the recommended NC message you previously sent to your ex.
The instructions for these steps will follow in the free plan, make sure you read them, and do this correctly.
Thank You!
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NOTE – If Your Country Blocks You From Viewing Our Forum, Skip Down to The Blue Section Starting With “Note”. Everything You Need to Follow The Free Plan is Here, Just Ignore The References to Our Forum, OK? You Can Be (and People Have Been) Successful Without Ever Joining Our Forum.
Now, let’s get you registered in our forum: How to Kick Loves Ass Break Up Forum, remember to come back here after you’re done, OK?
After you have registered go to the Heart Break Hotel forum (start a new topic use the “Topic — Add New »“ link in the upper left-hand corner (it is in the “dark gray” bar that also has the words: Posts, Last Poster, Freshness in it), and name it something like “your forum members name’s Break up Story” and in the Tags box please put this phrase my break up story), I want you to explain your break up (HINT – Don’t use real names, OK?) and then leave it here. Why? Because that was the past, and you can only learn from the past, not live in it…understand?
In the first stages of your break up you will be oh so tempted to constantly contact your ex and beg, plead, cry and try to guilt them into coming back…guess what? This only pushes them farther away as you have proven to yourself (99.999% of the people reading this have already done this, so you’re not alone). Is it too late now that you have made all these mistakes? Nope, just move to the next crucial step in the free plan to get your ex back.
Heads Up - The next step is VERY IMPORTANT and can not be skipped. So if you’re feeling frightened or unsure about taking the next step…go read what other people have to say about the journey you’re about to begin: Real Life Break up Success Stories
Let’s get this right out in the open, 30 days is just a “benchmark” a starting point, this will probably take you much longer (at least 3 months or more) to be successful. If you’re not willing to put in that much time, then do not follow this plan. Go look somewhere else for help, because I can not help you, understand?
EVERY GREAT JOURNEY BEGINS WITH THE FIRST STEP…now it’s your turn…take that step…and let your personal evolution begin!
*IMPORTANT NOTE – Before you even get started writing your No Contact Message – Listen Up – This is very important, and why many people fail the first time sending their message, and then get banned from the forum. You MUST NOT make any changes to the recommended no contact message…why?
Which NC message you pick to send is up to you.
When I say “no changes” I mean do not add any of your own words to it, or leave anything out of the recommended NC message (you choose to send) trying to make it sound more “natural” or like you…that takes away it’s punch.
Of course if you have shared responsibilities (like finances, bills, a business, children, etc.) you need to make the “recommended” alterations (which are covered in the plan), but that’s it, understand?
Let’s not “nit-pick” about modifying the NC message because you are afraid to send it, you are only hurting your chances at success.
Although it is emotionless, it still needs to pack a punch.
You have an emotional switch to flip…get it?
OK, if you completely understand what I just said, and are ready to do what I just said, proceed to the next step…if not, keep on reading my Blog and the forum until you are ready to do it right.
I hate it when people send “their version” of the no contact message, and then ask me; “did I screw up?”
Yeah, you did.
I want you to succeed as quickly as possible and then leave me the fuck alone (just kidding), but not about the succeeding fast part, understand?
Are You Ready Now?
Good let’s – Kick Loves Ass!
B. Write your NC message (use one of the NC message examples I posted word for word…do not change it) and send it to your ex (do not post until you’ve sent the NC message). You can just use one of them in this post “How to Write An Effective No Contact Message” and you won’t need to tweak it at all…then send it (text, email, letter, which ever way you know they will definitely get it, but DON’T CALL THEM). if you have any questions about sending the NC message read down some more and follow the other links about The No Contact Rule.
Then start a new topic use the “Topic — Add New »” link in the upper left-hand corner (it is in the “dark gray” bar that also has the words: Posts, Last Poster, Freshness in it) in the forum called “My No Contact Diary” (name it something like “your forum members name’s NC diary” and in the Tags box please put this phrase my no contact diary). NOTE – This will be your NC topic and you will post all your NC questions and progress in this topic…please do not start another topic to talk about NC OK? Do not start your NC diary without immediately posting a copy of the version of the recommended NC message you previously sent to your ex, or you will get banned. You have now properly initiated NC, let’s move to the next step in the plan.
NOTE – No contact is not about ignoring your ex, it is about cutting them off from your personal thoughts, and motives. This way they can not tell what you’re thinking or doing (in your personal life), and will start to wonder if you’re going to move on without them. This curiosity will be what helps you get them to reconnect at your own pace…later on in the plan.
Using no contact correctly will not drive your ex away, if they don’t come back…it’s because they were already gone, OK? Now, instead of worrying about that focus on the plan, and you will see results…if you sit there wondering if you’re wasting your time…you will be doing just that…so take “positive” action, and keep moving forward.
I realize everyone has different situations to contend with while they are using the no contact rule strategy, so I wrote these two articles to help clarify a few things about the mysterious No Contact Rule:
How to Handle NC in Different Situations
The Real Truth About The No Contact Rule
Because your personal evolution will require a great deal of focus and commitment, you may require additional help other than the Fast Forward Technique mentioned later in the plan. You can get over $4000.00 of free self tools here: $4,570 Worth of Self Help Materials and Tools – Totally Free
*Quick Note about our forum and the forum support buddy system, get yourself a buddy, and get into a support group ASAP, this is a tremendous help to keep you from messing up, and having to start all over again, and you can read more about it here: Forum Buddy Support System
Stage Two – The Personal Evolution
Now that you have severed your ties with your old “failed” relationship it is time to start the healing process and look at what went wrong.
A. Get a notebook and start a personal journal, I know you’re thinking wow what a tip, right? Well guess what you would be amazed by the feedback I have gotten from people who started a personal journal at the beginning of their evolution. They swear it was what kept them going, and helped them to make it through this whole process without giving up, so get one, and start writing in it…OK?
B. The first thing I want you to write in your new journal is a list. Make a list of all the pros and cons about your past relationship with your ex. This will help you to figure out if it is even worth getting them back or not, so get to work. *Note – this list will change as you evolve…so keep updating it daily/weekly, OK?
C. Next start to evaluate all the things that you noticed went wrong and lead up to this break up. Was there something you didn’t like about your ex, or was your ex always hinting about things they didn’t like about you? Make a list and make plans to change these things about yourself, and to talk about the things you didn’t like about your ex when you reconnect later on in the plan, OK? *Note – this list will change as you evolve…so keep updating it daily/weekly, OK?
OK now that you’re off to a good start lets talk about our next crucial step…
Stage Three – Gaining And Maintaining Good Emotional Control
It is so important that you maintain good self control during your evolution, and to do that you will need the help of some good self help tools, like this one found in the book “The Magic of Making up” by T. W. Jackson.
*The following is an excerpt from the book “The Magic of Making up” by T. W. Jackson*
The FAST FORWARD Technique
We have all heard the saying “Time heals all wounds.” But, that is little solace for the person experiencing the pain of the wound RIGHT NOW. Wouldn’t it be nice if there were a way to “fast forward” past the pain? Just press a button and speed up time to a point where we feel more balanced and rational. While I don’t have a magical button for you to press, I do have The Fast Forward Technique. The Fast Forward Technique has many uses, but one of the best is for getting over the pain of loss. If you commit to performing this three times a day at least, you will be amazed.
STEP 1: Feel whatever it is you are feeling and notice how and where you feel it. For example many people feel emotional hurt in their chest or heart (that is why it is called heart break). But, that may or may not be true for you. Now just focus on your feeling and ask yourself silently or aloud the following:
Can I allow this feeling?
Or…
Can I welcome this feeling?
And then answer. It doesn’t matter if it is a Yes or No.
STEP 2: Ask “Could I let this feeling go?” Again, a Yes or No is acceptable.
STEP 3 Ask “Would I let this feeling go?”
STEP 4 Ask “When?”
STEP 5 Now examine the feeling again. Does it feel different? Did you feel a shift? The shift is different for everyone, but is a sign of small healing. You want to feel how your feeling has changed and repeat steps 1 through 5.
The Fast Forward Technique should not be a struggle. In fact, it will usually feel quite warm and soothing.
You will want to do 2 or 3 sessions a day. One session may be 5 or 6 repetitions or more through the 5 steps.
Also, let me let you in on a little secret. I have used The Fast Forward Technique for many things including Managing my feelings about:
. Quitting smoking
. Dealing with “snack attacks”
. Writers Block
. Getting over my father’s death
. Sticking with my workout program
. Major arguments with my wife
The Fast Forward Technique and I are old friends and I hope that by introducing you to each other, you will reap a lifetime of benefits as well.
NEW!! – TW Jackson’s Calm Mind Technique
Learn how to calm your mind during times of extreme stress using this easy mind trick by TW Jackson Go watch video #6 in the Break up Help Videos section of my Blog.
Note -This is just a small example of the powerful techniques and advice in his book, and why I highly advise you to get it as soon as you can. You can pick up a copy here: *The Magic of Making up System. In the meantime you have me, this free plan, and our free forum, so you’re not alone until you can afford the book. Now on to the last step…reconnection.
Stage Four – The Reconnection Process
Now, if you have been doing all the previous exercises, and writing in your journal along with working in our forum, (hopefully with a forum support buddy or group) you should be evolving nicely. If you have screwed up and had to start over, you’re not alone…have you been reading the other members posts in our forum? The important thing is that you DO NOT GIVE UP, you only fail when you fail to keep taking action, understand?
Everyone is under the (false) impression that 30 days of no contact is a magic number, now I will say some people have done it in under 30 days but every situation is unique so do not plan on reconnecting exactly in 30 days of successful NC, OK? Every time you mess up (break NC) you have to start over again, and send a new no contact message as outlined earlier in the plan.
How do you know when you’re ready? Well the best answer to that question would be when you didn’t need to ask that question at all…you”ll just know it inside. Everyone evolves at their own pace…it’s not a race. If you have your emotions under control you won’t be so jumpy to go ahead when you know you’re not ready. That is why I advise everyone to work on yourself before trying to involve someone else (your ex). DO NOT RUSH THROUGH NO CONTACT.
A word about reconnecting with your ex in a LDR (Long Distance Relationship):
You really need to find a way to be in the same place (country, city) they are, or wait until they are going to be in your area for at least a couple weeks, why? Because a face to face meeting is your best bet for success in the beginning of the reconnection stage. Chances are they have told you to move on, and it’s over for good..that’s it.
Why do you think they did that? Because you probably told them how much this break up hurt you, and they do not want to be responsible for anymore of your pain…make sense? Now, how do you think you will convince them with a text, email, phone call, or web cam to take that responsibility again? I doubt you will.
They will feel like they are taking a risk in exploring a new LDR with you, and if it doesn’t work out, they are the bad guy, and broke your heart all over again. Now, if you are in their area for a while and just want to chat, this seems much less threatening then having to make up their mind whether to risk having you come to them, and being responsible for your emotional pain like the last break up.
You see they will be thinking back to what you said, and how you acted from the last break up. This is why I think you will have much more success if you can wait until a face to face meeting is possible with your LDR ex. A face to face will let them feel the full effect of your personal, and emotional evolution, far better than a phone call where they can not read your body language.
If you can not wait until you can arrange a face-to-face meeting then try the following suggestions:
*Update: There have been a quite a few people in our forum that have had great success with web cam reconnects, so this might be a great alternative if you can not arrange an “actual” face to face meeting.
Call them on the telephone and use the methods outlined in MOMU chapter 6, if you can not do this because of conflicting time zones, try these other examples.
Here are just a few (of the many) suggestions listed in “Mind Magic” a bonus that comes along with MOMU on how to get someone to respond to a phone message, which could be converted into an email message as well.
Maybe try breaking the ice by forwarding a joke email (that you know they would like), or a link to an interesting article online that you both share an interest in.
Put a short note like : pretty funny don’t you think? (for a joke), or pretty interesting, what do you think? (if it’s an article).
Avoid using the words “I” “me” or anything that would refer to you as couple…like “we”.
Ex – Remember when we went to the lecture about that (subject of the article link)?…this brings up memories of the old failed relationship, keep it very casual…move slowly, OK?
The main point being, do not bring up anything about wanting to talk about personal stuff…just break the ice, if your ex replies then follow up with a very indirect invitation to video chat…because you would like to thank them.
“Hey how have you been? If you have sometime next week let’s get together on Skype, I just have to personally thank you for what you did.”
If your ex asks “thank me for what?” tell them you will explain in the chat, and you would like to do it face to face (in person if possible, if not) then use video chat in your case, because it’s an LDR.
What do you thank them for?…giving you the space you needed when you asked them for it, and then go on to talk about anything but yours/his personal life…keep it very casual, OK? (work, school, sports, movies, news…etc.)
Follow the guidelines in chapter 6 and keep it to about 30 minutes, and then make an excuse to leave…leave your ex wanting more, OK?
Warning: Make sure you’re ready so you don’t get sucked into a personal conversation about your past relationship…if the meeting starts to go this way…get off before it explodes…just say; “I have to go I have a phone call…nice chatting, maybe another time, OK? Bye)
This what I have so far to help people in LDRs reconnect, but I still would highly recommend that you wait until you can do it face to face, for the full effect.
The chances of you getting an invitation (from your ex) to their country or city will be slim, but if you take all the risk the pressure is off them, understand? The bottom line in a LDR or in any relationship is it requires some risk, and if you’re not up to taking that risk, then I would advise you wait until your ex makes the first move, or to move on, and find someone local.
LDR break ups just like local breakups can take months before both sides are ready to talk…you must have patience. The best piece of advice is to stop waiting for them to come back, and start to move on by dating again…this usually speeds up your ex’s personal evolution. There are quite a few LDR break up success stories in our forum which means this plan works for LDR break ups too.
A. When you know you’re ready to attempt reconnection with your ex and begin a “new” relationship, call them to set up a short (30 minute) meeting for coffee, or lunch. *Don’t flirt or stay on the phone too long. All you need to do is be polite and break the ice, something like; “Hi, how have you been? Great! I am doing good. Thanks! Hey, do you feel like meeting for ice cream/coffee next week at this time and place?”. Once you have the meeting date set up with your ex just say; “See you there…good-bye”. Lunch is tough to keep to 30 minutes so I would make it something like coffee or ice cream. Make a midday event in a crowded place, so you’re both comfortable.
Examples of the wrong place to meet:
His/Your Place
A Movie (too long)
A wedding (again too long)
A common friends house (it should just be you two)
A bar for drinks (no alcohol)
Someplace you used to go together before the break up (brings up memories of the past failed relationship)
B. Call them do not text or email…why? Because you want hear their voice and judge their emotional state (are they happy, sad, angry, or not really interested). If they do not answer do not leave a message, OK? Just try again in about 3-7 days…do not call too much this will look you’re stalking them and your ex will run.
C. If you get a “yes” then keep your cool and lay out the plan you previously made. If you get a “no” lets see what T. W. Jackson recommends in his book “The Magic of Making up.”
*The following is an excerpt from the book “The Magic of Making up” by T. W. Jackson*
Getting a No
You may meet with a little apprehension. Like “Uhhh…I really don’t know?”
If so…
Just kind of chuckle and nonchalantly say “It’s only coffee”…or “only lunch”
This most times will turn into “Okay.”
It’s possible that in spite of your careful planning, your ex will not agree to go on a date with you. At this point you may be tempted to:
. Beg and plead
. Get angry
. Accuse your ex of cheating on you
. Rehash every argument you ever had
. Generally fly off the handle
The appropriate response is to gracefully bow out by accepting their no. You can just say, “Alright,” and wish your ex well and then end the conversation. This leaves the door open for future communication.
The next move would be to wait a couple weeks and try again, you just might have caught them on a bad day…don’t give up, only time will tell if this was meant to be or not. In the meantime use our forum and read what other members said and did when things like this happened. Our forum is the most powerful tool you will ever have at your disposal, so please use it.
D. Getting a “Yes”, and What to Talk About, and What NOT to Talk About During Your Reconnection Meetings
OK, you have your first short (30 minute or less) meeting all set up…now, what do you talk about?
Obviously there are somethings you should not bring up at your reconnection meetings.
There will be plenty of time to ask your personal questions later on, after you have reestablished a “new” bond with your ex, so just keep it light, upbeat, and fun. After all, you will not get a second meeting if you bore them to death, or cross examine them about what they have been doing (dating wise), right?
1. What Not To Bring up, or Talk About:
* Your Break up (This should be a no-brainer, but I figured I would warn you anyways)
* Your Old Relationship (Another no-brainer, right?)
* Their Personal Life (dating, things of that nature, no cross examination, remember?)
* Your Personal Life (see above examples about dating)
The KEY to SUCCESS – Remember this is NOT a trip down memory lane, it is the beginning of a new relationship, with an old friend, understand? How would you feel if you just met someone, and all they did was talk about their old relationships….booorrring!
What should you do if your ex insists on asking about NC, and why you sent the message. You should calmly, and politely change the subject by saying “I really don’t want to discuss that right now, let’s just catch up, OK?”
If they seem to not be able to let it go, then you need to “politely” end the meeting by saying something like: “I really just wanted to catch up with you, and see how you were doing. I didn’t want to drag up the past, I think it would be better if we did this another time. I have to be going.”
Then get up say “good-bye” and leave. This is another good reason why you should come to the meetings separately, so you can leave separately, understand? You can wait a week or so, and try setting up another meeting, maybe by then they will be ready to “just talk”.
2. What You Should Talk About:
* The Latest World News
*Sports
*Work
*Family
*Friends (not ex’s or anything of that nature)
* School
*Movies
*TV Shows
The KEY to SUCCESS – You know your ex, so try to bring up things you know you both like, and have in-common. This will help them to remember why they were attracted to you in the first place, make sense? Just don’t bring up the old relationship by saying I know you like seafood, remember that time we went to… Be smart about it, do it carefully, and thoughtfully.
Just remember this is not an interview, or an attempt to rekindle your old “failed” relationship. That should all be behind both of you by now, and you should be ready to start a brand new, stronger relationship, learning from the past mistakes of the old failed one, understand?
Have fun at your meetings, make great company, and you will not have any trouble setting up more “future” meetings together. Above all, take it slow, and avoid premature reconciliation (break up help video #4) OK?
This concludes the basic Free Plan to Get Your Ex Back, but it is as everything on my Blog, and in our forum, an ongoing work in progress, so if you have any suggestions please contact me, and I will add your suggestions if they fit, OK? Please keep in mind the MAIN objective is to get your life back, not your ex.
Remember this is just a Basic Overview of the book “The Magic of Making up” and I highly recommend that you get the book (including the 3 free bonus books), and follow all the specific advice provided inside *The Magic of Making up System.
Now, get to work getting your life ( and hopefully your ex) back again.
Note: This plan is a work in progress, please feel free to contact me with any suggestions you have, and I will add them to the plan as necessary.
I wish you the best of luck, and I am always here to help you.
Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?
My name is S. Williams, and I have been helping people since 2008 to overcome break up pain, and get their lives back. I even have an “About” section that I recommend you read. I know the name of my site is: How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, but I teach people how to get their lives back, not their ex’s.
Once you get your life back, everything else will just start to fall into place…I promise. If you have any comments or questions please feel to contact me directly.
If this plan was useful or helpful to you in anyway, please show your appreciation by giving me a “+1″ using the button below this article.
Until next time,
S. Williams
Copyright © 2008 and beyond – All Rights Reserved Worldwide – You DO NOT have permission to reuse this content in any way, shape, or form.
*Disclaimer: Using The Magic of Making up System will not guarantee you get your ex back (you have a 50/50 chance), but if you follow the plan correctly you will get your life back.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
